Dog with a Blog (2012) s02e18 Episode Script

Oh, there's the food truck.
I'm so nervous.
Gator's been gone for weeks, and this is my first time back to work since I broke up with her daughter.
Gator's gonna clamp down on my head and drag me underwater like a gator.
Ah, I thought for sure you were gonna say territorial hippo.
Maybe you're worrying for nothing.
Gator knows you're a good employee.
Yeah, she's probably not holding a grudge.
Tyler! I'm gonna teach you a lesson About chainsaw art.
It's my new hobby.
Well, I'm happy you're back, and I just wanna say I'm sorry things didn't work out - between me and Emily.
- Yeah, I'm sorry, too.
And now, I have to fire you.
But it's not because you broke up with Emily.
Oh, she's had five boyfriends since you.
Oh, way better.
So why do you have to fire me? Way better? I just can't afford you anymore.
Business is down, and I've got some expensive violations to correct.
Apparently, when you call burgers "all beef," they have to be all and beef.
But, gator, working at the food truck was my dream job.
Where else can I cook cheap food and run a cash register? I don't know, Tyler.
That's your journey.
So Tyler lost his job.
But not because he dumped the boss' daughter.
Gator gets it.
Sometimes, you gotta move on.
Dogs do that all the time.
I'll love you forever, baby.
Hello there.
Yeah, it's not workin' out.
Avery, I figured out how to get my job back.
I'm gonna make a commercial for the food truck, put it online, it'll drum up so much business, Gator will have to rehire me.
That sounds like a pretty half-baked plan.
Which is twice as baked as your typical quarter-baked plans, so congratulations.
The commercial's gonna be cool.
It'll start with me doing tricks on my bike, hot girls are watching, and then, at the end, a big explosion.
What does that have to do with the food truck? Nothing, but people will say, "that was awesome.
I wonder if their food tastes like what I just saw.
" That's a great idea.
Let's put that aside.
What you need is a great song.
I did just get hungry.
Tyler, let me make the world hungry with my voice.
It's always been a secret dream of mine to record a song, and this commercial could be a great chance for me to do that.
- Yeah, but can you sing? - Did you not just hear me go, I am so hungry.
Let's do this.
I'm gonna start writing the song.
Tyler, I'm so excited.
I'm gonna be an international singing sensation, and you'll be working part-time at the food truck again.
Both of our dreams will come true.
Mommy, when you were my age, was there ever anything you really, really wanted but you just couldn't buy it? - World peace.
- No, something good.
I want a charm bracelet.
I mean, world peace is great for old people, but kids like things.
When I was your age, I opened a lemonade stand.
And I didn't have to ask my parents for money.
- Then what were they for? - Mainly guilt, and pressure to play sports.
That's not funny.
But also, to provide an example that if you want something, you have to work for it.
Which is what created the man standing before you today.
But I don't wanna be the man standing before me today.
Well, never mind then.
I wanna be like mommy and have lots of jewelry.
I think I need to talk to Chloe about her outdated ideas regarding women and jewelry.
Did you hear that, Bennett? She wants to be like me.
Yeah! That was awesome.
This commercial's gonna rock, and Gator's gonna hire me back at the food truck.
You know what would make it even better? A little freestylin'.
Drop me a beat.
Uh yeah.
I'm feelin' this.
Poodles.
Uh.
Stan, you can't rap.
I don't rap.
I flow.
You can't sing, rap or flow in this commercial.
You're a dog.
You also can't do standup comedy, spoken word poetry, or ventriloquism.
Are you sure? Dude, check out my sly-brow.
Wow, I've never seen a sly-brow from the other side.
I would so go for me.
Obviously, Stan can't be in the commercial.
But we are gonna need other people.
Who do we know who can act? You need someone to act in something.
I happen to know someone who put in four years of community theater, and can cry on command if she pulls out a nose hair.
Uh mom, we're just doing a commercial for the food truck.
We don't need someone who can cry.
Oh, come on.
You gotta let me be in your commercial.
I can't help with Chloe's lemonade stand.
You know I have a checkered history with lemons.
Ow! Oh, come on! Mom, we can't hire just anyone.
We need someone with a certain how do I put this $100 for equipment and snacks.
I'm in.
But only if I get a star on my dressing room door.
You don't even get a dressing room.
Then I'm in.
Stan, my food truck commercial's been online for a few days, and it's already gotten 10,000 views.
Gator's gonna have to give me my job back now.
Check it out.
Oh, cool, you're watching the commercial.
Everyone at school has been talking about how much they like my singing.
I never really expected this.
Okay, it's exactly what I expected.
Look at some of these comments online.
A lot of people like this commercial.
This person did all caps.
They loved it! Wow, look at all of these nice comments.
I got a smiley face from a guy named "hates everything.
" I'm guessing he's pretty stingy with those.
Wait a minute.
This next one's terrible.
"This girl should never open her mouth again.
" You'd have to learn ventriloquism, and talk through a puppet.
I'm Avery.
Please pass the green beans.
You really need a better catchphrase.
There are a bunch of nasty comments.
Was I really that bad? No, of course not.
Some people are just trolls that go online just to say mean things.
It was only a couple of posts.
There's plenty of people who like you.
Like me.
Here.
"The girl sang super good.
Tyler has great hair.
" Really? You had to throw in a comment about your hair? No, Tyler has great hair is my screen name.
Um, are you sure you should be stirring that with your hand? It's hose water in my goldfish bowl.
My hand is the cleanest part.
Wow, that is some disgusting lemonade, and I've lapped up stagnant bucket water, which is delicious, so that's a bad example.
I'm trying to make it gross.
It's my plan.
I'll never make enough money on my own for my charm bracelet, but if I do something wrong, daddy always comes in and fixes it.
Wow, you turned right to your dad.
Didn't even think about asking your dog.
I'd be offended if I knew anything about how to make lemonade and it wasn't my nap time.
Oh, look.
A new business has opened up in the neighborhood.
Hello, young lady.
I would like to purchase one glass of lemonade, please.
Coming right up, sir.
Thank you very much.
Oh, that is That is fantastic, Chloe.
What's your secret? - Secrets.
- Is that your goldfish bowl? Secret one.
- Where's your goldfish? - Secret two.
You wanna know the other eight secrets? They're kinda gross.
Wow, this is like a horrible game show.
Chloe, I know you know better than this, what is going on here? I made bad lemonade so you'd help.
I just wanna spend time with my daddy because I love him so very, very much.
Especially the way he fixes things in a big, big way that makes a lot of money for my charm bracelet.
Chloe, are you trying to manipulate me? Isn't it obvious? I feel bad that I have to tell you this.
Avery and Tyler are growing up, and are too busy to take the time to shamelessly manipulate me like this.
You doing this means so much to me.
- Daddy, are you okay? - My parents forced me to do sports.
So you'll do my lemonade stand for me? No.
We're gonna do it together.
But it's not gonna be in a big, big way.
I'm not gonna go overboard.
Lemonade.
Get your old-fashioned lemonade.
Daddy? Do you need any help? Not now, sweetie.
Daddy's in the sellin' zone.
I just have to ask him that every ten minutes, because we're doing it together.
Avery, I just talked to gator down at the food truck.
She really liked the commercial.
I might actually get my job back.
At least some good came out of it.
Tell me, does this sound like how I sing? Because this guy says it does.
You're letting the opinion of captain duckfart ruin your day? Yes, I am.
I've never been criticized for something I've done before.
Maybe I've had an over-inflated sense of myself, and now, I'm just like Avery, you've never been criticized in your own little world at school where everyone likes you.
Now you're putting yourself out there for the whole world to see.
You're saying that I'm not good enough for the whole world? Way to burst my bubble.
You know I like to blow up balloons when I'm upset.
I don't, and it's weird.
Anyway, I'm not saying you're not good enough for the whole world.
There's just a lot of haters out there.
What if the haters are right? This is really messing with my head.
I'm not like you.
I'm not used to people calling me incompetent, limited, and lacking ability.
Sorry.
I play squash every Tuesday with your guidance counselor.
I have a guidance counselor? I just wish that I'd never put myself out there like that.
I'm never singing again.
So how about one more time? Ya might wanna learn what never means before you meet with your guidance counselor, because she's gonna be talking to you about colleges.
Avery, the commercial's become really popular.
So Gator thinks she can get even more business if you perform the song live at the food truck tomorrow.
She said if things go well, she'll hire me back.
So if I don't sing, you don't get your job back? I'm sure she's not that unreasonable.
So is she gonna sing? 'Cause if she doesn't, you're not gettin' your job back, and if you think that's unreasonable, I'm also gonna dock his pay.
How can you dock his pay if he doesn't work for you? That's what makes it so unreasonable.
Two more lemonades, please.
Fine.
Tyler, I know how much this job means to you, so I'll sing at the food truck tomorrow.
Thank you, Avery.
I really owe you.
Now I don't throw around the word "hero" very often, but that woman is my hero.
Wow! Look at all these people.
I did this.
Take that, guidance counselor, whoever you are.
Whose picture are they taking? Hey, it's that lady from the video that laughs like a donkey.
Hey, donkey laugh lady! I think they're taking my picture.
I have fans.
I dreamed of this day, although I dreamed they'd know my name, not call me donkey laugh lady.
But I'll take it, I'll take it.
Oh, I can't just laugh on command like So, your sister ready for the big show, not Bob? Why'd you call me not Bob? Well, you're not Bob, are you? I have to have some way to tell the two of you apart.
Ain't that right, Bob? Don't mean to put any pressure on y'all by calling it a big show, but there's a lot riding on this.
The future of the food truck, your job, and my spider vein surgery.
Don't worry.
Avery is ready to sing.
And if this is too personal, you don't have to answer, but when they put the spider veins in, do you get superpowers? Yes, that's exactly how it works.
Chloe, your new charm bracelet is beautiful.
But, uh, why aren't you wearing it? Well, at first, I just wanted you to do the lemonade stand so I could get this, so I did the manipulating thing, and said I wanted to spend time with you.
But then, being with you is my favorite part.
So I want you to have this.
Well I like spending time with you, too.
But I don't think this charm bracelet goes with any of my clothes.
That's okay.
I'll wear it for you.
All right, Avery, are you ready to go on? Look at this crowd.
These people are all here because they love you in the video.
I know, and I'm really nervous.
My stomach is in knots.
And I probably shouldn't have had that all-beef taco.
Yeah, that all-beef taco is not all beef.
Or taco.
I wish I could go on for you, Avery.
If only I hadn't touched that amulet in that ancient Egyptian temple, I'd still be a man.
- What? - I'm just kidding.
I've always been a dog.
Welcome to the truck stops here presents the truck stops here live! With the truck stops here singer, truck stop! I changed your name.
I am not letting her change my name.
No wonder they call you stop, always trying to stop stuff.
Hey, it's that annoying girl from the video.
You stink! Stop, truck stop.
Not Bob, stop truck stop, or your job here at the truck stops here stops here.
Avery, what are you doing? You have to sing the song, or I'm never getting my job back.
You heard gator.
She couldn't have been more unreasonably clear.
I'm sorry, Tyler.
I was only onstage for two seconds, and I'm already getting heckled.
It's just like the comments on the Internet.
I can't do this.
What's wrong with Avery? She's freaking out about some heckler.
You have to convince her to sing while I stall onstage.
Sounds like a job for Ellen Jennings, mild-mannered alter ego of donkey laugh lady.
- Mom.
- I'll go talk to her.
Stan, come here.
We have to stall the crowd.
You go into the food truck where no one can see you, and do some freestylin'.
I'll lip sync to it onstage.
I can't rap like you.
Well, try to keep up.
I'm gonna lay down some science, yo.
All right.
Truck stop's comin' up in a second with a song you're all here for.
But first, something no one's here for.
Oh, yeah.
Mmm.
Uh, tasty.
Uhhh.
Smoky.
Yeah, I really like this guy.
Apricot.
Avery, Tyler says you don't wanna sing because of some heckler.
It's not just the heckler.
It's awful comments online.
Oh, honey, you can't let that get to you.
But how? - I mean, how do you do it? - What do you mean? Look at all these comments about your performance in the video.
I didn't see this.
Well, this is very hurtful.
That's just immature.
Captain duckfart? I went to college with a Kevin duckfart.
Or was it Evan goosepoop? No, it was bill Davis, but he waddled when he farted.
Mom, how can you laugh about this? - This is horrible.
- Only if you let it be.
I mean, I just focus on the fact that I had fun doing the commercial, and most people liked me, and if some people wanna be mean, that's their problem.
I wish I could not care about what those people think, but it just bothers me.
I understand that, sweetie.
When you're a teenager, you're more self-conscious.
Less secure, and things are happening with your body.
Mom! The point is, if you let a few people who don't even know you have that much power over you, you'll never do what you wanna do.
You wanna sing, don't you? Yeah.
I do.
Then sing.
- Thanks, mom.
- Oh, don't hug me too hard.
I've been eating food truck food.
This can't be a coincidence.
Thank goodness you're back.
Now everyone here thinks I chase cars, bark at the mailman, and pee in the yard.
And only two of those things are true.
You ready? Ready as I'll ever be, I guess.
Oh, yeah! Yeah, yeah! Avery finally got over worrying about what the haters think, and Tyler got his job back.
And Chloe had a great time doing the lemonade stand with Bennett.
She even made a commercial featuring a local celebrity.
Hi.
You might know me as donkey laugh lady.
And nothing soothes my donkey laughing throat like an ice-cold glass ow!! I told you I was gonna need safety goggles if I was gonna do this!