Henry Danger (2014) s02e18 Episode Script

1 - Uhhh, I'm sorry, let me put you on hold again.
- No! No, do NOT put me on hold again! I wanna talk to your supervisor! - One moment please.
- No, no, but I just-- Ahh! [ hold music plays .]
- Who's she upset with now? - Zapathon.
She ordered something and they sent her the wrong thing.
- Hi, this is Lisa, what seems to be the problem? - The problem is that I ordered a pink furry phone case! And you people sent me a spray-tan gun! - Okay, please read me the serial number located on the bottom of the item.
- Wait a second while I get it outta the stupid box.
- Happy anniversary.
- Oh, baby.
- Uh-huh.
- Okay.
The serial number is: 939-734 - Okay perfect, that is the correct serial number.
Is there anything else I can help you with? - Yeah! I didn't order the spray-tan gun! - One moment.
- No no, do not put me on-- Ahh! - Wow, it's a flashlight.
- Yeah! Look See how bright it is? - Ugh! Yeah, it's really bright.
- And it's rechargeable, and waterproof and I should go get you a better gift, shouldn't I? - Hurry.
- Hi, I'm back.
- Good, what'd you find out? - Nothing, I just had to blow my nose.
- Ugh! Well, what are we gonna do about this spray-tan gun? - Is it broken? - No! I mean, I dunno I don't even know how to use one a'these- No, it's not broken.
[ grunting .]
[ kids chattering .]
- Uh, why are you up on that ladder? - Throwing darts at our ceiling? - 'Cause some kid let a balloon float up there, and I mean to get it down.
- Well Isn't there a safer way to get a balloon down? - Hey, I don't tell you how to be a snotty kid.
- And it should not do that.
- Oh, 'sup peoples? - Hey, Hen.
- Hi, Henry.
- Hey, are you doing anything after school? - Yep, I'm workin' on my black belt.
- Your black belt? - I didn't know you were taking karate.
- I'm not.
I'm taking a belt-making class.
All I have left to do is punch the holes and add the buckle.
- Man.
- Wow.
Y'know, I bet Charlotte would love a new hand-made belt.
- And you'd lose that bet.
- Well, I'll totally make you a belt! - No, no, I have plenty of belts and I-- - Here! I just need to measure your waist.
- Nuh- uh, I don't want you to meas-- - No seriously, it's fine.
- I got this.
- Boosh! - Okay, let's see how big around you are - Okay, no girl would like this.
- There! I'm gonna make you a new belt with a giant flower buckle on it that says girl power! - No, no, there's no need.
- Good idea.
- Tee hee.
- Yeah, you think you're real cute.
Well, maybe I'll tell that girl Amy in science class that you have a crush on her, and then she'll make you a necklace made outta-- - Whoa, whoa, whoa, wait.
- What? - Someone left this note in my locker.
- Well, what's it say? - It says, "I know your secret.
I know what you did on Wednesday night.
" - What secret? - I I only have one secret.
That I'm Kid Danger.
- Uh-oh.
- Yeah.
Wait, what was I doing on Wednesday night? - Uh oh You and Ray stopped those three armed men from robbing the supermarket.
- Naw, we never fought any guys with three arms.
- No, three men who were armed.
- Oh yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Then that proves that whoever wrote this note knows I'm Kid Danger.
Oh, this is bad.
This is bad.
- Real bad.
- We gotta tell Ray that someone knows my secret identity.
- Boosh! - Oww! Who dropped this dart in my flesh? Oww! Can somebody come pull this outta me? - Uh, naw-- - Gotta go over there.
- It all just kind of happened.
- My dad was an irresponsible scientist.
- I wanted an afterschool job.
- And by accident, he made me indestructible.
Ah! - I went into this crazy store and met a pretty interesting guy.
- I'm going to blow your mind.
Now I protect the good citizens of Swellview who call me - And he turned out to be - You know the name.
- Captain Man! - That's right, Henry.
In time, I realized that being a superhero is a lot to handle alone.
- He wanted some help.
- I needed a sidekick.
- I, Henry Hart - Pledge to never ever ever tell anyone - That I'm Captain Man's secret sidekick.
- It is done.
- Now we blow bubbles.
- And fight crime.
- Feels good.
- Call it.
- Up the tube! Oh, my boot.
- Ha! [ music .]
- And you're a hundred percent sure you didn't tell anyone? - I told nobody.
- Well Did you send any emails, or text messages where you mentioned that you're Kid Danger? - Oh, wait, no, yeah last week I did stand on my roof naked and yell, "Hey! Everybody! Look at me! I'm Henry Hart and I'm Kid Danger! " - You did that naked? - No, I didn't do it at all! - Oh, you're joking? - Yeah.
- This is joke time for you? Okay, I'm sorry Are you Jimmy Fallon? Hey, later on, are you going to get some tacos with QuestLove? - I don't know why you're mad at me.
- Dude, if anyone knows that you're Kid Danger, they can follow you here.
They can come down here and figure out that I'm Captain Man! - Oh, so this is all about you? - No.
It's mostly about me.
[ machine beeps .]
- Ah! I got it! I got something! - What'd you find? - Yeah yeah, what'd ya find, what'd ya find? - I scanned this note with this bio-metric particle scanner - Right.
- Right.
- Now you'll see.
On this note I found some DNA.
- D-GEN-EYES? - DNA! - Oh.
- And The person who created this note is Henry Hart.
- What? - Dude Of course my DNA is on the note! I brought it here! It was in my hands! - Oh, yeah.
- Oh, yeah.
[ spraying .]
- Oh, oh - What is goin' on? - Oh yeah! I'm ready for Hollywood! - Mrs.
Hendricks, you're up.
Get in the tent and take your robe off.
- Oh, I will! - Okay, Piper? Piper, what is happening in our house? - I'm giving people spray tans.
- Why? - 'Cause most spray tan places charge 50 bucks.
- Piper does it for 20.
- That's right.
- Mom, Dad, are you really gonna-- Okay, what are you wearing? - Oh, it's our anniversary, so we're wearing the exact same clothes we wore on our first date.
- It was my idea.
- Yeah, I figured.
Are you seriously letting Piper run a tanning salon in here? - Yeah, why not? - It keeps her from screaming at us.
[ funk music plays .]
- Girl you know I love ya Oh baby And I really wanna show you how I'm gonna smooch you now - Whoa! - Oh wow! If this doesn't get my husband to forget about his toy trains, I don't know what will! - Yeah, he's a lucky man.
- Okay, I got a ton a'homework to do.
- Yeah, I know, me, too.
- Oh, and remember, stay on guard-- you don't know who it is out there that knows that you're Kid Danger.
- Right.
- Hey, can I have a sip of that? - Nah.
- Girl, you know I love ya - That's right, Henry, I know.
[ music .]
[ glass shatters .]
- Uhhh [ stammering .]
- Y'know you're not saying actual words.
- So, you left the note in my locker.
- Uh-huh.
'Cause I know your secret.
- Oh man.
- C'mon, Hen, how long did you think you could keep that kind of secret from your best friend? - Oh, Charlotte knows.
- I meant me.
- Oh, right, right, I-I didn't mean-- - Wait-- Charlotte knows? - Okay, look! You can't tell anyone about this, ever.
As my friend, you gotta promise never to tell anyone.
- Uh, if we're such good friends, how come I had to find out the truth about you in the streets? - 'Cause I I was I - Still not words.
- Ah! - It's even on my hands.
- Okay, if you're waiting to be spray-tanned, hang out in the couch area.
If you've already been spray-tanned, wait on the stairs over there 'til ya dry out.
- Hey what's that? - Just lemonade.
- Ah, perfect.
- So, don't you love how busted Henry is? - Wha-- what do you mean? - Jasper found out! Y'know Henry's secret? - Wait! You know about it? - Sure.
- How? - Jasper told me.
Henry shoulda waited for Jasper to go see that movie.
- Whoa, wait wait What movie? - Henry promised Jasper that he'd go see Galaxy Wars 10 with him on Saturday night.
- Yeah? - But my mom was dying to see it on opening night, so she took Henry with her to see it on Wednesday, and then Jasper found out.
- And Jasper thinks that's Henry's secret? That he saw Galaxy Wars 10 without him? - Yeah.
What? What other secret does Henry have? - I dunno, none, nothing, I dunno! What? - I woulda told you, but-- - I don't need to hear a bunch of excuses.
- No, I just need you to understand why-- [ watch beeps .]
- Well I guess I don't need to hide this from you anymore.
- Hey, it's me.
- Hey Kid, we have a little emergency.
- Yeah, no kidding.
- It looks like the Malachi Brothers broke out of jail, and they're headed for the demolition derby.
- Oh, okay.
Meet you in the Man Cave? - Nah, I'll hop in the Man Copter and I'll pick you up on the way to the derby.
- Copy that.
- Th that was Captain Man! As a hologram! Calling you! - Yeah.
- So Jasper left the note in Henry's locker.
- Mm-hmm.
- Oh man, I gotta go tell Henry! - Wait! - What? - I'm done with this glass.
- Henry! - But I still don't understand how you were talking to a hologram of Captain Man on your own watch.
- Yeah, I don't really know how it works.
Schwoz does.
You can ask him.
- What's a Schwoz? Wait, what's that? - I'm gonna blow a bubble.
- You're gonna blow a bubble? - I'm gonna blow your mind.
- How do I look? Good? - Jasper left the note! - I know.
- But Hi, Jasper! Why is Jasper's mouth hangin' open? And why are you dressed like that in front of Jasper? - You're Kid Danger? - Yeah, you knew that.
You were the one who-- Oh.
Jasper fell asleep.
- No, he fainted! - Well, why? - Because he didn't know that you're Kid Danger! He thought that your secret was that you saw Galaxy Wars 10 without him! - Well, how'd he find that out? - Who cares? You just showed Japser that you're Kid Danger! - Ah geez! - What are we gonna do? - I don't-- - [ phone beeps .]
- Ah! - It's Ray.
- I know it's Ray! - Hey.
- Hey, it's me, Ray.
- I know it's Ray! - The cops captured the Malachi Brothers, so there's no more emergency.
- Eh, maybe there is.
- Wh what does that mean? - Just-- you better come over here.
- And bring the memory wiper! [ groans .]
- So you ready for your anniversary present? - Right here? - Yep, but it's in the garage.
I'll go get it.
- Okay, people, I'm gonna take a quick bathroom break.
[ groaning .]
- Hey, how's it goin'? - Hold this, would ya? - Sure.
[ doorbell rings .]
- I'll get that.
Oh, hello.
You here for a tan? - No.
Are you running an illegal tanning salon here? - No.
Oh, no.
- Well, you just offered me a tan.
And you're holding a spray-tan gun.
And your house is full of people with fake tans.
- Whaddaya mean? - I mean it's illegal to run a tanning salon without a license.
- Am I under arrest? - Yep.
- All right.
- Y'know today's my wedding anniversary.
- Happy anniversary.
- You took an oath.
- It's not my fault! - It was your job to make sure-- - I know that! It was just a weird misunderstanding! - Hey! Jasper's regaining consciousness.
- Look It's just way too dangerous to let anyone else know who we are, or where the Man Cave is.
And that means We have to erase Jasper's memory.
- But when you zap someone's brain with that thing, doesn't it erase all their memories? - Well, not all.
I mean, he'll still remember how to breathe and eat and that's about it.
[ groans .]
- Hey, can I Can I at least have a few minutes alone with him, before you, you know, wipe his brain? I mean we've been friends ever since we were five.
- Yeah, sure thing, kid.
- Thank you.
- Where do you want us to go? - The closet? - The closet? - Yep, get in the closet.
Come on.
Come on.
There you go.
[ groans .]
- What happened? - I uh I zapped you.
Accidentally.
- Wow.
I can't believe this.
My best friend is Kid Danger.
- Dude, listen.
I wanted to tell you a long time ago.
But I took an oath.
- I totally get it.
- Thanks.
And y'know, it's Give me a minute.
- Well, hurry up! - Who - Eh.
- Hey Remember this? - Sure! You and me at Camp Tomahawk.
- Yep.
We were cute, huh? - Hey, remember that time at the archery range? When Billy Brody started beatin' me up, and you jumped in to help me? - Yep, and then we both got beat up.
[ laughing .]
[ Jasper sighs .]
- I'll never forget that.
- Well - You've always been a good friend to me Kid Danger.
I'm proud of you.
- That's it.
Ray, Charlotte, get out here.
- Captain Man! Wow, he's right here in your room.
- I'm here, too.
- Yeah, uh-huh.
- We're not doin' this.
- We have to do it.
- No, I'm not letting you erase Jasper's brain.
- Uh, what? - Don't worry about it.
- He could tell anyone, even if he doesn't mean to! - I'll never tell anybody! - Oh really? What if some big bad evil criminal captures you and threatens to cut all your toes off if you don't tell 'em everything you know! - I'd tell him everything I know.
- Dude! - My toes! What am I without my toes? - Henry, he's a security risk.
- No, we leave Jasper the way he is or else I can't be Kid Danger anymore.
- Henry - You're not gonna quit being Kid Danger.
- I don't wanna quit.
But if you're gonna erase all the memories from my oldest friend's brain then Then I don't want this anymore.
- Ah, put that back in your pants.
- Wait, does that mean you're saying-- - Yes, yes, yes.
Jasper can keep his stupid brain the way it is.
- Really? - Yes, I've said yes five times now.
- Wow, this is amazing! - Just take it easy.
- Ooh! I can even help you fight bad guys and stuff! - Uhhh - I don't think - That's not a good - Oh c'mon! It's my dream! - Oh.
Sorry, I just got a tan downstairs and I was looking for the bathroom, and I thought - Whoa! Captain Man? And Kid Danger without his mask! You're Piper's brother! - Uh, well - Whoa! Wait 'til I tell everyone I know! - You gonna whine about this one? - Nah, do it.
[ mumbles .]
- Hey, what's your name? [ moans .]
- All right, Jasper, you really wanna help us out? - Sure! - Good.
Take this guy out the window, leave him on the sidewalk.
- Aye aye, Captain Man! [ grunts .]