Liv and Maddie (2013) s02e18 Episode Script

Maddie! Just chill with your zipper.
Sorry.
Oh, I am just so excited! Diggie's finally coming home from Tundrabania forever! Oh, yay.
That pacing is not gonna get him here any faster.
It did! It worked! Diggie's home! Oh.
It's just you.
Okay, I get why my arrival is disappointing, but show some respect for cake.
Check it.
I am stoked for Diggie's return.
I don't typically run with the cool crowd, but when I'm hanging with the digg-meister, I'm cool by association, which basically translates to 50% less wedgies.
Diggie! - Diggie! - What's up, Rooney? Oh, you haven't changed a bit.
Oh.
Well, you've changed a little.
You know it.
I'm all Stevens point in the front, Tundrabania in the back.
Diggie, look.
I got us cake.
Oh, no.
Luckily Me and my man Diggie are tight enough to eat floor cake.
- Don't judge me.
- Don't Hey, so Now that we're back on the court, I'm not quite sure that that weird hair, skull thing is regulation.
You might want to Snip, snip, snip, snip.
Maddie, no.
This is my hoerskabuben A spirit braid given to me by my adopted tribe.
I can't cut it until the ice melts and the great boulder shows.
All right, tundra boy, ready to knock the rust off? Please, there is no rust here.
Oh, yeah, okay.
Fresh and saucy.
Hey, so, um Tomorrow night I was kind of thinking we'd bring back miggie-movie night.
- Hmm.
- Remember? Yeah, tomorrow night I was actually thinking we could get a big group together and all hang.
That way I could catch up with more friends.
Oh.
Yeah, yes.
No, we should we should we should hang out with a whole group of people, instead of just the two of us As a couple.
Exactly, um, but but instead of watching a movie, I was thinking we could play Flugelball! So, I what what what what-ball? Flugelball.
It's Tundrabania's national sport.
It is way better than basketball.
Wow, you're like serious.
Tundrabania's had quite the impact on you.
Yeah, but it wasn't just Tundrabania.
On my way home, I got to see Russia, Spain, Sweden.
I mean, it really opened my eyes.
Now, Stevens point just kind of feels small.
Well, on behalf of tiny, insignificant Stevens point, I apologize.
Okay, that's not what I meant.
Stevens point will never be insignificant as long as you're in it.
Oh.
You're sweet.
But there is absolutely no way that I am gonna let you win! Argh! Oh! Fresh and saucy.
The next time we put a hydrogen-fluoride laser on our robot, we should take the cap off before we fire it.
Hey! Sorry about your friends, gumball machine.
I give off a vibe that tends to scatter geeks.
Dump truck is a friend I made in detention, which is also where I got the moniker "gumball machine.
" It turns out that kids in detention come up with the sickest nicknames.
Just ask "hammerhead" Gonzales.
Where're you headed? It's trash convergence day at the dump.
You should come with me.
Six garbage trucks let out at the same time.
Oh, man, that sounds cool.
It's more than cool.
It's it's transformative.
Now get your giddyup pants on.
It's a long walk and we're running late.
- Let's take our bikes.
- Um, I don't have a bike.
You want to borrow Joey's bike? I know his lock combination.
I would, but borrowing someone's bike without their permission is morally reprehensible and against my ethos.
All right, you ride my bike and I'll ride Joey's.
What's with you and the bikes? I said we're walking, so let's walk.
Oh, what's your problem with bikes? I got no problem with bikes.
I love 'em.
You get on the thing and you start going.
Then you got to turn, so you press the turn button.
"Turn button"? Yeah.
It's right next to the Brake laser.
Whoa.
You don't know how to ride a bike.
Don't look at me.
I will punch you in your smiling device.
I can't believe this.
Wait till I tell hammerhead Gonzales.
Hey, zip your soup cooler! It is my secret shame and the greatest regret of my young life, which is saying something because I have some skeletons, gumball.
I could teach you how to ride a bike.
Seriously? You would do that for me? Hey, we all have our secret shames.
You know, sometimes in the car, I sing along with Taylor Swift.
Ooh, really? No, I'm just trying to make you feel better, buddy.
Okay.
Hey, mads.
How was day two of the return of Diggie? Um, kinda like watching Joey eat corn on the cob you know, just awkward and wildly uncomfortable.
Actually, do you have a sec? I kinda need some girl talk.
Girl talk? Whoo! Girl #3 is here.
Girl talk in "sesh-ee-on.
" Okay, and talk.
Wow, jeez.
Um, you know I have always just found it so hard to Open up without, um Uh, uh, snacks! Ooh, it's gonna be a long one.
Okay, I will get herbal tea, ginger snaps, and a pan-flute CD.
Ooh, I'm so excited, I could spit.
Get out of my way! I'm a part of girl talk.
I'm a part of girl talk! Girl talk? Let's put our listening holes to the door and see how the other half lives.
"Listening holes"? You've been hanging out with dump truck too much.
Hey, zip your soup cooler! Okay, what's going on? It's just Diggie's just been kind of different since he's gotten back.
I mean, you know, he blew off miggie-movie night, and he's not as into basketball.
It's just weird.
Okay, well I mean, maybe he just needs some time to adjust.
I mean, we both know that when I came back to Stevens point, you and I didn't exactly fall into our old rhythm immediately But eventually we got there.
Yeah, I don't know, Liv.
He's just not really the same guy that I started dating.
Ooh, sounds like Maddie and Diggie are having problems.
If those two break up, it's over for you and Diggie.
No! He's my lifeline to cool.
What do I do? Go to him.
You need to relax, Maddie.
I mean, he just got back.
I'm sure things are a little awkward, but isn't awkward what you guys do? Yeah.
He's my Diggie and I dig my Diggie.
Then what are you doing here? Go out.
Hang out with him.
You guys'll warm up to each other, just Maddie, please do not get one of those gross hair-braidy things.
Liv, they're called a hoerskabuben.
And, yeah, don't worry.
I hoerska-won't.
The goal of flugelball is to kick this fur-ball into the opponents turnip pile, and the winner gets to keep the turnips.
Okay.
And what are these balls for? Aah, we wear these.
Ancient tundrabanians actually played wearing the bladder of a blue whale, but We're more civilized now.
I'm game.
Let's do this.
Ooh, actually we can't start until we have an even number of players.
We need one more to flugel.
How about a flu-gal? Hey.
Well, hey there, Rooney.
I'm glad you made it.
Yeah.
I mean, if you're into this, then I'm into this.
Okay, so this seems like the dumbest thing ever, but I really wanted to do whatever I could to get us back into our groove.
I mean, besides How bad can this be? It's a sport.
You know? As long as there's a winner, I'm fine.
As long as that winner is me! Flugelers, assume the position! Flugel! Flugel! Flugel! Flugel-kick! That's a foul.
What? Oh, come on, ref! I'm sorry, Rooney.
You have to spend one minute in the umskauen.
It's the tundrabanian penalty box.
Yeah, Maddie, get in the umskauen, you cheater.
Okay, fine.
But I am looking for you when I get out! So now do we play with one less flugeler, or Nope, now we just wait.
In Tundrabania, this would be the part where we'd whack our frozen toes with a rock to bring back circulation.
But how cool is this? Maddie really seems to be enjoying flugelball.
Yeah, totally fresh and saucy.
Quick question.
If you being so weird since you got back from Tundrabania made Maddie break up with you, we'd still hang out.
Right, buddy? Dude? What are you saying, man? Is Maddie gonna break up with me? No.
So she is gonna break up with me? I never said that.
If I have to choose I choose you, buddy.
All right, Joey Get ready to taste turnip! Maddie, are we okay? 'Cause Joey just said that you're gonna break up with me.
What? I did not say that.
I merely posed a hypothetical situation based on information that I gained through eavesdropping.
Joey, I cannot believe you right now! So is it true? I mean okay, so things have been a little weird, but I just think we need some time to, you know, get used to each other again and then everything will be like it was.
- Okay, so we're good? - No, yeah, no, no.
We're good.
We're good.
Okay.
Ready to play some flugelball? You know it.
Whoo! Glad I fixed this.
Welcome to bike theory 101.
First topic How bikes stay up.
I always wondered about that.
First we must understand spin momentum, steer axis tilt, and inertia.
Say what, little man? It stays up by magic.
I knew it! What was that? Not a big fan of magic.
You should know this about me.
Let's move on to the hands-on portion of the lesson.
Dad! Here's your old bike, buddy.
Why is my training bike so feminine? It's a gender-neutral bike.
It works for both boys or girls.
Oh, right.
I forgot.
- What's with the girl bike? - I knew it! We saved money by having you all learn on Liv's bike.
I regret nothing.
Hop on.
Here's your gender-neutral helmet.
You know, he's not wrong.
Some ladybugs is dudes.
Wow, your first bike ride.
You want me to take a picture? I wouldn't advise it.
Now, start peddling.
I'm scared, little guy.
It's okay.
I'll give you a push.
Okay.
Whoo.
I'm doing it.
I'm doing it good, man.
Yeah! Uh-oh.
Oh, I got to get a picture of this.
I wouldn't advise it.
All right, a miggie-movie night is exactly what we needed.
I'm glad we got some alone-time.
Yeah, me too.
How's that light bulb coming, dad? Almost Ugh! Misaligned.
This could take all night.
There, it didn't.
Now go.
Give these two some privacy.
- Thanks, mom.
- Any time.
Sorry about that.
Where were we? Hmm.
I missed this when you were gone.
This is perfect.
Um Sorry, your hoerskabuben is just kind of like Directly touching my face.
Sorry.
There we go.
Whoo, ha ha.
So what'd you miss most about Stevens point? Obviously this, you, us.
Oh.
What else? Um Did I say "you" already? Come on.
- This is your hometown.
- I know.
It's just traveling really changed me.
Everything's different now.
That's why I want to be a foreign exchange student again.
That's funny.
What? You're serious? Yeah, I signed up for next semester.
I'm going to Australia, so you can call me "diggerie-doo.
" You get it? - I get it.
- Nice.
But why would you want to leave again? I mean, you literally just got back to Stevens point.
I know, and this will always be my home.
It just feels confining.
It's like it's like how you can't fit into your desk from kindergarten.
Once you've outgrown it, you can't, like, wedge your way back in there without getting an owie.
You know what I mean? Yeah, I yes.
I definitely know what you mean.
Don't worry.
We still have a couple months before I go away.
It'll be awesome.
So awesome.
So awesome.
Brought some snacks.
- Mom! - I just want to be in your life! So Diggie's going to Australia? Yep, but I'm fine! Just gonna, you know, work it out by working out.
Okay, so before that snaps and takes out an eye Maddie, we need to talk about this.
What is there to talk about? I think this could be an amazing opportunity for Diggie.
How do you feel? I mean, do you want him to go away? No.
Of course not.
I just can't believe that I wasn't even a part of the conversation.
But, I mean, we did the long-distance thing before, and I'm sure we can do it again.
Yeah, Maddie, you did it, but you hated it.
I mean, for months, you stopped being Maddie, and you started being all "saddie.
" I mean, come on, this is Diggie we're talking about.
He cares about how you feel.
But if you don't tell him how you feel, he's not gonna know how you feel.
Yeah, you're right.
I think I'm gonna tell him.
Thanks, Liv.
Great talk.
Talk? Did I miss girl talk? I have been carrying this pan-flute CD around with me all day.
This is your final test.
Pass and you'll join in on the two-wheeled fun and freedom experienced by six-year-olds everywhere.
Let's do this.
Go! This is too easy.
Beware of dogs.
Car door! Hey! I'm biking here! Oh no, extreme fog! Refreshing.
Watch out for your greatest fear.
Magic! I made it.
Wow, look at us.
Just two girls, bouncing balls and shooting hoops, opening up about feelings, but only if you feel like it.
Please feel like it.
Actually, mom.
I kinda do feel like it.
Things haven't exactly been - the most - Hey, Rooney.
Mrs.
Rooney.
- Diggie.
- Mom.
I know.
Hi.
Thanks for coming over.
- What's up? - Um I'm really happy that you're so excited about going to Australia.
Yeah, I am too.
- I can't wait to - I really, really, really, really, really don't want you to go.
What? Why? Because being in a long-distance relationship was really hard on us.
I know.
It was hard for me too.
I mean, we're not gonna be in high school forever, and then who knows what's gonna happen after that.
Exactly! Maddie That's why I have to jump on this opportunity right now.
What about me? What about us? Why you being like this? Because you left me for eight months! And I waited for the day that you were gonna come back, and now you're just telling me that you're taking off again? Okay, I though you'd be a bit more supportive! I have been so supportive! More than you! This isn't really making me want to stay, Maddie.
- Then go! - I will! But I can't promise that I'm just gonna be waiting for you when you get back this time.
Fine! Maddie, maybe we should break up.
Wow.
Okay.
Okay.
- See you around, Rooney.
- Yeah.
Maddie? Mom, we just broke up! Oh, oh, honey.
I'm so sorry.
So no hard feelings, right? None at all.
And we're still buds? Yup.
Great! Question, why do I feel like there may be a little bit of hard feelings? Not sure.
Oh no.
Flugel! I don't like flugelball anymore! Zip your soup cooler.