Mighty Med (2013) s02e18 Episode Script

Previously You have to hear this dream I had last night.
I was onboard an alien spaceship that was carrying something called the Arcturion.
Why don't you just make that into a comic book? I'll even give you a writing credit.
You could use a fake name, like Quimby Fletcher.
- Bring me Quimby Fletcher.
- The Arcturion is real? My boss won't stop until he gets his hands on it and becomes the most powerful man on Earth.
Boss, this is unit 2-3-8.
Captain Atomic is no longer a threat.
I've downloaded your final instructions onto my memory drive.
Thanks, Flashback, for showing those clips to Skylar.
So who are the henchmen working for? Some heartless villain like Slaughtermaster, or one of the airlines? Okay, it's bad enough I can't fly anymore, but 25 bucks to check luggage? That's beyond evil.
I don't know who they're working for.
And why do you have to check luggage? You only have one outfit.
Look, I'm safe for now, but we have to figure out who these villains are before they figure out I'm Quimby Fletcher.
Now think, Kaz.
Is there anything you remember? Okay, I did notice one thing.
They had matching tattoos of an infinity sign on their wrists.
Principal Howard has an infinity tattoo.
I remember seeing it and thinking, "Hey, Principal Howard has an infinity tattoo.
" That's a great story, Oliver.
Lots of twists in it.
My point is, maybe they're all working together.
Principal Howard is down in Mighty Max.
You guys sneak him out and interrogate him.
I'll meet up with you later.
Why? Where are you going? I have a tuxedo fitting.
My mom wants everything to be perfect for her big day, so tomorrow, I have a teeth and eyeball whitening.
She really wants the photos to pop.
I guess you'll have to fill in for Oliver.
Okay.
What does that involve? Oh, okay, Flashback, I think she gets the idea.
Okay, go! Okay, no one's in here.
Close the doors.
Ah! Oh! It's about time! It reeked of corned beef in there.
What are you complaining for? They were keeping you in a birdcage.
Principal Howard, Kaz was captured by two villains looking for an intergalactic power source called the Arcturion.
They had the same tattoo as you.
I don't know what you're talking about.
You see any tattoos on my body? Oh, wait.
Thanks to you, I don't have a body.
Okay, you wanna play it that way? Fine.
If you don't talk, I'll put you in the cell of certain destruction, where you'll be turned into an action figure.
Yeah.
Then, I'll attach your tiny head to this broken doll.
Then I'll make you ride around in this pink toy convertible.
Then make you drive to the make-believe mall.
Okay, okay.
Stop.
I'll talk.
Before you do, why do you have all that? It's just weird.
We're supposed to be interrogating him.
Now who do you work for? Okay, I'll talk! We all work for Mr.
Terror, a ruthless criminal genius so secret, no one's ever seen his face.
Maybe he's horribly disfigured.
Or worse, has a lizard face.
Oh.
Sorry, Lizard Man.
I didn't know you were working today.
Now where's the Arcturion? I can't remember.
Before I could report back to Mr.
Terror, I transferred all the information I gathered about the Arcturion onto a memory drive, and it's missing.
Oliver took the memory drive out at school.
- Let's go get it.
- You're outta luck.
The memory drive is designed to explode if it remains uninstalled for 72 hours, which is in two hours and eleven minutes.
Come on, let's get to school.
Wait.
I have one more question.
Seriously, why do you have all that stuff? Okay, I'm good to go.
Tuxedo is perfect.
If by perfect you mean poorly designed and badly sewn.
No offense.
I know you're doing the best you can with what you've got, which is no skills and a poorly run shop.
I agree.
And his licorice is stale.
That's a tape measure.
And let's get Horace's opinion on the tux.
Maybe I should talk to him privately, man to man, because this is mighty important.
Oliver, we're gonna be family soon.
Anything you have to say, you can say in front of all of us.
I'll show you.
Sometimes I like to drink milk out of a baby bottle.
See? Look, Mom, I really think I can go, because this tuxedo is the one.
Yes.
If we decide to wear tuxedoes.
We're also considering a theme wedding.
A theme wedding? What theme? We haven't decided.
We have 50 outfits to try on.
Excuse me.
Do you have a dinosaur costume in a men's regular? Hey, Jordan.
What's everyone doing here during vacation? It's the school art fair.
You guys wanna see my latest painting? It's called "Agony.
" Agony? I don't get it.
That's because it's not done.
There.
Now it's done.
Jordan's earring is the memory drive.
She must've picked it up in the hallway after the fight.
We gotta get it from her somehow.
Okay, don't worry.
I have a plan.
Hey, Jordan.
I love your earring.
It makes you look so sweet and feminine.
It does? Ugh! Take it.
Hey, Jordan, why is she wearing the same earring? Oh, Gus thought it was cool, so he made replicas of it and is selling them.
Why Gus needs more money, I have no idea.
Hey, Gus, the earring that Jordan was wearing, - is that the original? - I don't know.
I gave the original to my manufacturer, and when he gave them back, they were all mixed up like a salad, and my grandma, who thinks she's a salad.
How many did you make? Only like four or five hundred.
This is insane.
Mom, why would you even want a theme wedding? That doesn't sound like you at all.
Actually, it was my idea.
I love playing dress-up, almost as much as I love milk.
Uh, well, I have to get going, so continue without me, and I'm sure whatever outfits you pick out What? Who locked the door? I did.
Look, Oliver, you're clearly upset about our family dynamic.
So I think we should have a family feelings session, because there's nothing more important than family.
Right, Mom? Oh, that's so sweet that you called me Mom.
Don't do it again.
Hey, I have to deal with a superhero emergency.
You can't lock me in.
You're not going anywhere.
I'm sick of being unappreciated, so I will not rest until the favorite in this family is me, me! Alan, I think a family meeting is a wonderful idea, because Bridget told me to say so.
Oliver, why can't you be more like Alan? Mature, enlightened, bright.
What are you talking about? He's about to eat a pin cushion.
I am? I thought it was a very dry and prickly tomato.
Well, at least he eats what he thinks are vegetables.
We need to figure out a way to get all these drives before the real one explodes.
I wish Oliver was here.
Thinking makes my head hurt.
I'll just think the way Oliver does.
Oh, I've got it.
Remember the issue of the Crusher where he does the thing with the thing, and gets the thing out of the thing? You're just speaking gibberish.
Isn't that what Oliver does? I really don't listen.
Ah.
Ow, ow, okay, I just thought of something.
Okay, but first, we have to get the enlarging ray from Mighty Med.
Connie, why is your ear so huge? Gus, I put on your cheap earring, and it must be defective.
It made my ear swell up.
Yeah, and that's not the only side effect.
It also makes her run repeatedly into walls.
There must be a mistake.
Give me a minute to think.
You all better get rid of those earrings.
They're defective and have terrible side effects.
Yeah, and you better get rid of all your money, too.
You touched your earring, then your money.
Who knows what got all over it? Okay, that's all over.
Now can you please shrink my ear back down? Oh, yeah.
Just have to reverse the settings.
Oh, no.
I made it way too small.
No, that's the normal size of my ears.
Really? Ew.
Okay, now, we need to get the memory drives back to Mighty Med and figure out which one is Principal Robot Head's.
This is bad.
What do we do? Uh, scare them away with your freakishly small ears? Don't worry.
They can't attack us with all these witnesses around.
Attention.
My associate and I run a television company, and we're holding auditions in the civic center right now for our new reality show, Who Wants To Be Famous For No Reason Whatsoever? The sad thing is, I would watch that.
You again.
Your Principal Howard never reported to the big boss.
Now we know why.
You got his memory drive.
You're not getting the memory drive.
- Kaz! - Oh, sorry.
You did it.
That was fantastic.
Ow! Remember, this is an open forum.
The most important thing is for us to be completely honest.
Right, Dad? Right, son.
And since we're being honest, Bridget, sometimes, when I'm kissing you, I'm thinking of a bridge.
And sometimes, when I'm kissing you, I'm thinking about money.
Uh, look, as fun and not weird as this is, I really have to go.
Mom, make Alan unlock the door right now.
Oliver, don't talk to your mother like that.
Talk to her like this.
She loves it.
Don't you, guv'nor? Actually, as long as we're being honest, I don't love it.
When you talk like that, it makes me want to pull off my ears and stuff them in your mouth.
Oliver, your jealousy of me is tearing this family apart.
I think the only way for us to move forward is for you to give me a hug and a kiss and say, "Alan, even though you're great in every way, and I am, at best, below average, I love you.
" Alan, even though you are great in every way, and I am, at best, below average I love you.
See? How hard was that? Looks like we is one big, happy family, we is.
I'm serious.
Stop it.
One of these memory drives is yours.
We have to plug each of them into your head to figure out which is the real one.
Wait.
Someone's coming.
Sorry I'm late.
I was a court jester, and I had to kiss Alan.
Okay, normally, I'd have follow-up questions, but we're about to explode in two minutes, so let's go.
Cat video.
Old men in bathing suits.
Fifteen seconds left.
We only have time for one more drive.
Oliver, you pick.
No, you pick.
If we blow up, I want to be kissing Skylar.
I can't let my last kiss be Alan.
I'll pick.
Five, four, three, two, one.
Huh.
Thank goodness.
We're all fine.
Yeah.
I've never been better.
I'm a disembodied head imprisoned in a corned beef carving station.
Hey.
That's the spaceship in my dream.
It's buried underneath the school.
And look.
The Arcturion is inside it.
Maybe when you fell into the construction site, you touched something that had been in contact with the Arcturion, and that's why you had the dream.
That's why there's so much villain activity at this school.
Villains are drawn to the Arcturion's power without even knowing why, like moths to the light.
Actually, moths are drawn to light because of innate behavior called transverse orientation.
I did not miss you today.
Look, it's an order from Mr.
Terror.
"To all operatives.
Find Quimby Fletcher, remove his skin, and roast him over an open flame.
" You might be reading my recipe for garlic herb rotisserie chicken.
Oh.
No, you're not.
They're gonna slow cook you until your meat falls off your bones.
Mr.
Terror, please, just give us one more chance.
Talk is cheap, and so are lackeys.
Lucky for you two, I have to take this.
Get out of my sight, and don't come back until you locate Quimby Fletcher.
Find out what he knows and then destroy him.
Hello, Oliver dear.
Yes, you can go for pizza.
I don't care if you're walking.
You still need to wear a helmet.
Oh, I know.
You think I'm being overprotective.
But you don't realize that the world is a very dangerous place.