Party of Five s02e18 Episode Script
Before and After
So apparently Sharon Silverman and Doug Unger are an item now.
I ran into him buying condoms at the pharmacy.
He was or you were? He was.
I was buying deodorant.
He said they'd been going out about three weeks now.
Three weeks, and they're doin' it.
How 'bout that? Hmm.
Listen.
Thing is, um a-and I-I don't want to pressure you in any way, um, but we have been going out for a long time, so So I just wanna officially put it out there that, um, that I'm definitely, definitely, in favor of having sex.
With you.
Good, 'cause I am too.
Well, yeah.
Um only I was thinking of something more along the lines of sometime this calendar year.
Look Bailey, I'm ready, and, and I've been ready for a while.
I was waiting for you to say that you want to.
Are you serious? That's That's- That's ironic, is what it is.
Sowow.
Uh Well, do you wanna? Well, no, n-not right this second.
God.
I'm wearing totally yucky underwear, but Well, I-I promise you that would not be an issue for more than a second.
Look, Bailey, I want it to be special.
I mean, is that totally hokey? No, no.
No, uh I want it to be special too.
I do.
Specialand-- And soon.
S-soon i-is very important.
I can't stress "soon" enough.
Okay.
Soon.
Well? Well, what'd you expect? I told you those home things are pretty accurate.
God.
So yes? Yup.
[SIGHS.]
You okay? You know I wanted to be in there with you.
No, Justin, I told you, two kids sitting in a clinic waiting room, everyone would've known.
Yeah, well.
So I guess we should-- I made an appointment for tomorrow.
You made an appointment? To, um have it, you know, taken care of.
Wait a second.
Just like that? Without us even talking about it, or What's to talk about, huh? Nothing.
[SIGHS.]
I'm just gonna get it over with as quickly as possible, and then it'll be over, and I won't have to think about it anymore.
Julia, let's-- MAN [OVER RADIO.]
: Time is running out.
There's only one more week.
Dunham and Clark's semi-annual-- JULIA: Did you figure out the answer to number 12, 'cause I can't, for the life of me, remember how many electrons barium has.
[SIGHS.]
Well? I wanna talk about this.
We have to talk about it.
Why? Justin, it's not gonna change what happened, and it's not gonna change what I have to do about it, and we have homework, so what's the point? What, are you scared? Is that it? All right, fine.
Are you mad at me? Do you think we did something wrong? 'Cause I don't.
[SIGHS.]
Look, I love you, and I don't think there is anything wrong with what we did.
So something screwed up with the condom.
But that is not anyone's fault.
It was just an accident.
I know.
Look, I want to go with you.
No, Justin.
Don't argue with me, all right? Look, Charlie's gonna take me, okay? He-- He's gonna drive me.
Char-- You told Charlie? Yeah.
I had to.
I'll call you after it's over.
[SIGHS.]
Number 12? [WATER SPLASHING.]
Damn it! I don't believe this.
I'm telling ya, the whole damn house is falling apart.
Pipes are like tissue paper, chimney's cracked, roof is shot to hell.
I don't wanna even think about how much a new one of those is gonna set us back.
Well, I'll tell you what.
Why don't you go and get an estimate? Not for just some half-assed patch job, but for the whole kit and caboodle.
And then come back, and we'll talk about it, you and I.
How does that sound? Uh Yeah.
Yeah.
You'll never guess.
So tell me.
Okay, this morning at breakfast, my dad says, "I'm flying down to L.
A.
to meet a client.
" And my mom, get this, my mom, totally out of the blue, says, "You know what, Peter? "I'll fly there with you, do some shopping.
And we can spend the night together.
" "We can spend the night together"? We can spend the night together.
God, is this fate, or what? They're gonna be gone till Friday.
Do you have, ya know, protection? 'Cause I-I have a doctor's appointment, but it's not till tomorrow.
Got it covered so to speak.
[BELL RINGS.]
Oh, test on the atom bomb.
Mwah.
Like I'm gonna be able to concentrate.
Bye.
Bye.
[INDISTINCT CONVERSATION.]
Jule.
Have you at least talked to somebody about this, Julia? Julia! I-I don't need to talk to anyone, okay? I know what I'm doing.
Oh, yeah.
I can see that.
[SIGHS.]
[SIGHS.]
All right, look.
I'm coming with you.
I'm gonna take you.
No.
Yes, Julia.
No argument.
Look, Charlie Justin's gonna be there, okay? He's meeting me.
So you don't have to worry.
Don't worry! Okay.
Satin sheets in the bedroom.
Well, you've-- You've, uh You've really gone all out.
Well, yeah.
This is the most important night of my life so far.
Uhyeah.
Besides, how many things can you look back on and say, "You know what? That changed everything.
" Right.
Uh, you know what, uh, Sarah, not to, umdiminish my own, uh, you know but, um, I don't know if, uh Bailey Look, tonight I'm gonna share something with you that is so, so important.
And I'm never going to share that with anybody ever again.
And it's like after this, I really am a woman.
Well, at least you're keeping it in perspective.
I'll put on some music, okay? 'Kay.
[SLOW POP MUSIC PLAYING.]
Hey.
Hey.
[SIGHS.]
Uhyou know what? Um I don't think that this is, um That this is feeling right.
What, am I leading? No, no, no, it's not that.
Um It's-- It's-- It's I don't want you to think that I don't want to do this, because I do, I really wanna do this.
But I don't know, I think maybe you're making it into too much, and-- And I'm starting to feel pressure.
To perform.
No, no, no , I'm fine with that.
Believe me.
It's-- It's-- It's pressure to, like, change your life or something, and I don't know that I can do that.
Look, I I don't want to disappoint you because I-I really do love you, and so so I-I don't think I wanna do this.
Not tonight.
Okay? [.]
[PHONES RINGING, PEOPLE TALKING INDISTINCTLY.]
WOMAN: "Maybe it's in the tree trunk.
" No, sweetie, that's a candlestick.
Then Mark and Robin with your cousins at table 10.
That's next to the dance floor.
Julia Salinger? [HORN HONKS.]
Julia.
Julia, hey, wait.
What? What are you doing here? I-I-I'm sorry.
Please don't get angry.
I couldn't not come.
Wow, that was fast.
I didn't know you'd be out so soon.
Yeah, well, um-- Where's Charlie? Wait.
You went alone? I, uh I did-- I didn't do it.
I couldn't do it.
I just ran out.
I left.
All right, well, maybe it was too quick.
Maybe you, uh need a couple more days? No, no, you don't get it.
It's not that I couldn't do it.
I'm not sure if I want to.
You're not sure you wanna have the abortion? I was just sitting there, and all of a sudden, I felt this, this panic, like, "What am I doing? "What am I giving up? What if this is something that I want?" Okay, okay, uh We should talk about this.
We should, uh We should sit down-- You're upset about this.
No, I'm not-- You just wanted me to get it over with, just get rid of it.
No, I'm-- I'm-- Justin, I thought you would understand.
Hey.
Hey.
Hey, umm Are we--? Are we cool? What? Oh, yeah.
Okay.
Okay, good.
Good, because I was thinking basically all last night how much I want to try again.
Are you sure? 'Cause I've got that doctor's appointment today, but I could cancel.
No, no.
Don't cancel it.
Don't cancel it.
But, uh, maybe we could try this whole thing like, with a little less, you know, fanfare.
A little lower key.
Less fanfare, lower key.
Right.
We're supposed to go to the movies tomorrow night, right? So maybe, afterwards, we go back to my house, and And maybe something happens.
Or maybe it doesn't.
See, maybe it's some other night.
Doesn't really matter.
I'm sorry, but I thought that soon was of the utmost importance.
Your words.
Yeah, I know, I know.
But I just don't want, like-- Like spotlights and music and plans.
You know? I want it to happen like-- Like the first time we kissed.
You know, just out of the blue.
Like-- Like, maybe we're sitting on my bed, together, and, and I start to kiss you, and I start to touch you, and then don't wanna stop, and then it just happens.
And it's exactly right.
It's perfect.
Right.
Right, because it will be.
DOCTOR: So look through the literature.
Think about it.
And call me again, and we'll talk some more.
Okay, thanks.
You did the right thing, coming in to talk about this, Julia.
Sarah.
Wow.
Heh.
This is weird, huh? God, so much for privacy.
I had no idea we had the same-- Yeah, listen, I-- I gotta go.
Hey.
Oh, hey.
So, um Sarah said she ran into you today at the doctor's office.
She said you looked upset.
No.
I'm okay.
Yeah? Mm-hmm.
He's not pressuring you or anything, Justin, is he? What do you mean? I mean that this is a big step, Jule, sex.
And guys, sometimes they don't even think about whether or not the girl's ready.
I know.
It's none of my business, right? Look I know you guys love each other, and-- And-- And I'm sure you know what you're doing.
Just Just be careful, 'kay? I mean, obviously, you are, 'cause that's why you were there today, right? That's not whyuh We were careful.
Always.
Every time.
You're lateBay.
[SIGHS.]
You are so too late.
Hey.
Were you gonna call me? I-I left, like, three messages for you.
Oh.
Oh, I'm sorry.
I was going to.
I'm just trying not to spend every second of every minute of every hour thinking about this.
Oh.
Is that workin'? Look the reason that I called you was, um I was thinkin' [SIGHS.]
I'm thinkin', uh Okay.
We could do this.
We could have a baby.
I figure I got a lot of extra credit, right? If they count my AP classes, I could get my diploma this spring.
And I bet that the-- The news station would hire me full-time.
We could find a way to make this work.
[.]
So what if we're young? So what if there's stuff we have to give up? We get something too.
Julia, people who have a lot less than us have kids.
Even people who love each other less.
Justin said we could have the baby if I wanted to.
He said he would help take care of us, graduate school early and stuff.
Pretty incredible, huh? Yeah.
But he doesn't mean it.
I mean, he means it, but I mean, how--? How--? How could I do that to him? What a terrible thing.
And, you know, he'd hate me for it, sooner or later.
Julia-- Anyway, I can have the baby and give it up for adoption.
But the doctor talked to me about that.
Andwhat's wrong with that? I don't know.
Maybe that's right.
Doesn't that seem more moral or something? I can't answer that, Jule.
Then I'd be pregnant for the rest of school, and I'd be pregnant when I was applying for colleges and for the interviews.
You think people would look at me differently? Yeah.
Obviously.
So maybe I should put off college for a year.
You know, just take a year off and have the baby on my own.
Why can't I do that? You can do that, Jule.
If you want to, you can You can keep the baby in this house here, with all of us.
Okay.
You just You have to make sure that you're ready to be a mother, and, uh, I'm not sure that you are.
So what? I mean, stuff happens in life.
Who cares if you're ready? Right? You just do it.
I mean, who knows that better than us? Right.
And how is this different from you and Owen? Let's be honest.
Were you ready to be a dad? No.
And now, I mean, would you give him back if you had a chance? No.
You see? So Then how can I-- It's not the same, Jule.
I was-- I was 24 years old.
I'd gone to college.
I'd had a chance to live a little.
You would be giving up so much.
And you have all this potential, you know? So much more than I'm ever gonna have.
To throw that all away So, what choice do I have left? [SIGHS.]
What'd I do to myself? Oh, um Hey.
That was fast.
Yeah.
I ran a couple lights.
Uh, your-- On the phone, your voice was, uh What is it? Please, please.
I'm dying.
You wanna Man, this family You oughta get a medal for just coming over here.
I mean, all I wanna do is go to a movie, but no, Bailey's off smooching, Julia's locked in her room, and Charlie keeps saying it's not a good time right now.
I mean, I swear, sometimes the only thing anyone says to me in this house is, "Go away.
" [SIGHS.]
Can I hang out with you, Justin? [.]
Justin? Claud, just go away, all right? Just get outta here.
Hey, Jule, um-- Go away, Claud.
Get outta here.
Did you and Justin have a fight or something? What? No.
Then why was he crying in the backyard just now? He was crying? Well, not a lot, but yeah.
I mean, he didn't want me to see.
What happened? Nothing.
Then why would he be You're going to bed? It's not even 9:00.
I'm tired, okay? What are these? Claud, wait! Why would? [ENGINE STARTS.]
Are you? [SIGHS.]
What are you gonna do? Are you gonna have the baby? I don't think so.
You're not? You're not gonna have it? Claud! [BELL RINGS.]
Hey.
Hey.
We still on for lunch? Yeah, um O-one sec, Julia asked me to take notes for her in McFarland's class.
Okay, done.
Here, um, can you give these to her, please? You know what? Maybe you could come by later and give these to her yourself.
Uh, I've got rehearsal this afternoon.
Well, then-- Then afterwards, 'cause I was thinking it might do her some good to talk-- You know, I'd rather not, okay? Why not? Because Uh, because she's got a lot going on right now, and the last thing she needs is to know what I think.
Well, what do you think? What do you think, Sarah? Nothing.
Nothing.
Let's not talk about it, okay? Is it still mac and cheese in the cafeteria? [WATER RUNNING.]
You don't have to leave.
That's okay.
Claudia, I wanna talk to you.
That's okay.
Claudia! I don't get it.
What? How could you even think about doing this? What about Owen? He was an accident too, I mean Do you think Mom and Dad should never have had him? Thisis different.
How is it different? It's not different at all.
Claudia, I am too young to have a baby! Claudia, please.
If you do this there are people who are gonna say that it's murder.
And you have to tell me what to say when they say that about you.
Tell me how to answer them.
Please.
I don't know.
But I would not do this if I thought that that was true.
Bailey I wanna take you home.
I know.
So bad.
I know.
[SIRENS WAILING IN DISTANCE.]
We're not gonna do this, are we? No.
God, I wish you would have brought this up a week ago.
Yeah.
We could've snuck in under the wire, huh? [SNICKERS.]
So does this make us lucky or unlucky? Hmm.
Kind of both, I guess.
So, Jule what time tomorrow? Oh, um Two o'clock.
Can I go with you? I want to.
Yeah, I guess.
Okay.
Thanks.
I know you feel alone in this, Julia, but you're not.
You're not the only one who's ever made this decision.
Something like a million women every year-- I know the statistics, Charlie.
Thanks.
I went with a girlfriend once.
To get one.
In college.
You did? Yeah.
[INHALES DEEPLY.]
Debra.
Debra Debra, "Lots of Bracelets" Debra.
[SNICKERS.]
We didn't talk much beforehand about the decision, I mean, it just made sense, for both of us.
We weren't even 20, and it wasn't like we were in love with each other.
So I felt really bad about it for a while afterwards.
But, that feeling it goes away.
You don't carry it around forever, Julia, you really don't.
I mean before this happened with you, I hadn't even thought about it in, like, years.
Andwhat about her? Well it took a little time, I guess, but yeah.
I mean, eventually, she She was okay.
You stayed in touch? Wellum no, not exactly.
S-s-so how do you know she doesn't still carry this around with her? All I'm trying to say is Is that it's hard now, but it's gonna get easier.
[DOOR OPENS AND CLOSES.]
JUSTIN: Julia? Could you stopswinging? Sure.
I've been kinda nervous all day that now that you've decided, I thought you might get kinda mad at me again.
You might look at me like, "That's the guy that did this to me.
" You didn't do anything to me.
[SIGHS.]
We did it together.
Right.
You can hug me back, ya know, that's allowed.
Justin, stop.
What? Are you angry? You're angry, I-I I don't get it, you just said that we did this together.
Yeah! But we did it to me.
And it's in my body, and I'm the one making the decision.
Okay, but-- I promise you, you-- You don't know what it feels like.
You may think you do, but you don't.
All right.
Tell me how it feels, then.
Justgo homeJustin.
Being here with me doesn't help.
And having to explain it to you doesn't help, because it's not about you, and it's not about us.
[TEARFULLY.]
It's about me.
Julia-- You don't have to worry.
You're gonna be okay.
You're gonna get over this pretty soon, and everything's gonna be back to normal.
That's how it is for guys.
And no one is gonna look at you later and say, "Guess what he did, once?" I'm the one they're gonna look at.
I'm the one who's gonna carry this around, who can't ever get rid of it.
So don't try and share this with me 'cause you can't.
'Cause it's mine.
[DOOR CLOSES.]
Sarah.
Hey.
Morning.
Um, thanks for the notes from yesterday.
Are you waiting for Bay? Yeah, well, he's still in the shower.
Ah.
So, you know, I was thinking.
We-- We definitely used to talk more before you and Bay which is kinda too bad.
'Cause it seems like everyone else in my life is a guy.
And they're all being really nice, but there are just some things you don't want to talk about.
You know? No kidding.
I tried to call Kirsten, but she's on a trip.
Kind of a strange message to leave.
Anyway, I know this is gonna sound really stupid, but I'm actually getting kinda scared about what's gonna happen physically, you know? Julia What? Um I'm not the right person.
What? I'm not trying to make you feel bad.
I'm really not.
Please don't think that.
I just have problems for myself.
'Cause of being adopted.
I mean, if my mom would've made the same choice as you, I wouldn't be here.
Oh.
Right.
Right.
Um See, you have to understand-- No, Julia.
I know you need somebody on your side.
I know that.
And I want to but I can't.
I'm really sorry.
BAILEY: I just think she wants to be left alone now.
Yeah, well, it's not like I'm just gonna honk from the curb when she's ready.
I mean, I wanna spend a little time with her -before we have to leave.
-Justin, Charlie's taking her.
Right, that's what she said last time.
No.
He's taking her.
Justin, that's the way she wants it, I guess, so why don't you just give her some time? Really, this is hard for her.
You know what, Bailey? You don't need to tell me that.
It's hard for me too.
I'm not this completely irrelevant person, all right? -No one said that-- -That's how everyone's acting.
You know what? And I am sick of it! Just because some guys are jerks doesn't mean that's me, all right?! I know she's sad.
Well, you know what? I'm losing something too.
You know what would be nice? If it wasn't just me saying "I'm sorry" all the time.
It would be nice if once-- Just once! --somebody asked me if I was okay.
[.]
Charlie? In here.
Have you seen Owen's Alcatraz sweatshirt? Um I-- I think we gotta go.
Why? Your appointment's at 2:00.
It's only-- You gotta take me now, Charlie.
Okay.
JAKE: It's gonna rain.
That's what my knee tells me.
Are you okay? You've been down here for hours.
I'm just going through what's left of my stuff.
Any idea where Julia went? Um Out.
You know, I worry about you guys.
There seems to be a lot of closed doors around here and-- And red eyes and, uh If something were going on, like with Julia, and I knew about it, maybe I could help.
You can't help.
Well, okay.
But if something comes up that you kids can't handle-- Charlie'll take care of her.
And I-- I don't think she's gonna be able to talk to you about this because it's just too big of a thing, so, um maybe you should just leave her alone.
I won't push.
I wanna tell you, Grandpa, but I can't 'cause I'm scared.
I mean I don't want you to think any different of her, and you might if you knew, so I think it's better that you don't.
CHARLIE: I should check on Owen.
Are you all right gettin' up the stairs? JULIA: Yeah, I'll be fine.
[DOOR CLOSES.]
Hey.
[SIGHS.]
So, it's over, huh? I, uh had a miscarriage.
What? The doctor said not to worry, that it happens in, like one in five pregnancies.
So I-- I didn't need an abortion.
Oh.
Could you, um call Justin for me and ask him to come over? Yeah.
Yeah.
I'm sorry.
I know that you're sad, and Well, I'm sorry.
I'm not mad at you anymore, okay, Jule? Right, sure, 'cause I didn't do it.
No.
Julia, what? Go away, Claud, okay? I can't do this with you now, and [SIGHS.]
I can'tlook at you because I know what you really think of me.
No, you don't.
You don't know what I think.
I don't think anything bad about you, Julia.
I promise I don't.
Look, I mean, I wanna do something nice for you.
Not now, okay? Why not? Look, Claud, I'm-- I'm not trying to make you feel bad, okay? I don't have the energy to worry about you feeling guilty, and none of this really matters right now.
I just need Did they let Charlie go in with you? But there was a nurse, and she held my hand.
Told my about some trip she'd taken to Hawaii.
The airline lost her luggage.
Really? God, it's-- No.
No, she was nice.
It helped, listening to her chatter.
You know, I wanted to be there.
I would have been there if you had let me.
I know.
Justin, there wasn't enough time.
Yeah, but I mean, even if there was, you wouldn't have called me.
I meanyou didn't even call afterwards.
Bailey was the one-- I told him to tell you to come over, not to tell you what happened.
That was a mistake.
I'm-- I'm sorry.
I haven't been very fair to you through all this, have I? Or nice, even.
I'm sorry about that too.
Well I keep tryin' to figure out-- I keep thinking maybe this wouldn't be so bad if we were sharing it.
I mean, can't we at least share it now? Good.
Julia.
[SIGHS.]
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I just feel so sad, you know? Yeah.
But the fact that it happened like this I mean, for me, at least, there's a little, teeny bit of relief.
It kind of makes it easier, doesn't it? Not much.
No, actually.
You didn't do anything, Julia.
ButI-I can't act like the choice was taken out of my hands.
I mean, I would have made the choice, Justin.
It was the least worst of a lot of bad options, and I would have done it.
But you know what? No matter how it happens, I mean, any way, it's still hard.
Yeah.
Yeah, it is.
Did you get the one over by the window? Uh Yeah, got it.
Wait.
Oh, I think-- Yes, right there.
Uh-- Toss me one.
Well-- Damn it.
We're short a bucket.
Let me see.
Here.
[GIGGLES.]
Well, now that I've ensured you won't wash away overnight, I guess I should go.
Wait a second.
Listen to that.
[DRIPPING AND PATTERING.]
Nice.
Don't go.
Stay here.
Why don't--? Why don't you stay over? -Bailey.
-No, nothing like that.
Just We'll just sleep.
Together.
We'll just-- We'll go to sleep together.
[THUNDER RUMBLING.]
Do you have a T-shirt I could borrow or something? Yeah.
Here.
Could you maybe turn around? Yes.
Sorry.
[SIGHS.]
[CLEARS THROAT.]
[SIGHS.]
[PACHELBEL'S "CANON IN D" PLAYING.]
This is nice too, huh? Hm.
JULIA: It's okay.
I'm awake.
Mind the company? No.
Whoop.
Sorry, was that you? Does anything hurt? Oh-- No.
Nothing hurts.
Okay.
Good.
Heh.
Uh I was thinking that I probably haven't been all that helpful through all this.
Oh, come on.
No, it's true.
You probably would have been a lot better off if Mom had been here.
She would have known the exact right way to-- To talk to you about all this stuff.
That is so-- [SIGHS.]
You're a good brother, Charlie.
I don't know.
You couldn't have done anything.
If you had told me no, Justin and I still would have slept with each other.
Soyou didn't make a mistake.
I made the mistake.
Only me.
Well It's over, Jule.
You can kinda put it behind you now.
It's just going to take a little time, that's all.
You just have to bear with me, okay? [SIGHING.]
Well I'm not tired, so [CHUCKLES.]
we can talk as long as you want.
Mm.
[SIGHS.]
It's really pouring, huh? Oh, man.
Makes me think about how you and Claudia wouldn't sleep on nights like this.
[THUNDER RUMBLES QUIETLY.]
You'd get Mom and Dad to light a fire downstairs and make hot chocolate.
Play What's the name of that game again? Chutes and ladders.
for like hours.
Should we see if anybody's up for that tonight? Hm.
Think I might be too old for that now.
Yeah, I guess so.
Too bad, huh? Really.
[.]
I ran into him buying condoms at the pharmacy.
He was or you were? He was.
I was buying deodorant.
He said they'd been going out about three weeks now.
Three weeks, and they're doin' it.
How 'bout that? Hmm.
Listen.
Thing is, um a-and I-I don't want to pressure you in any way, um, but we have been going out for a long time, so So I just wanna officially put it out there that, um, that I'm definitely, definitely, in favor of having sex.
With you.
Good, 'cause I am too.
Well, yeah.
Um only I was thinking of something more along the lines of sometime this calendar year.
Look Bailey, I'm ready, and, and I've been ready for a while.
I was waiting for you to say that you want to.
Are you serious? That's That's- That's ironic, is what it is.
Sowow.
Uh Well, do you wanna? Well, no, n-not right this second.
God.
I'm wearing totally yucky underwear, but Well, I-I promise you that would not be an issue for more than a second.
Look, Bailey, I want it to be special.
I mean, is that totally hokey? No, no.
No, uh I want it to be special too.
I do.
Specialand-- And soon.
S-soon i-is very important.
I can't stress "soon" enough.
Okay.
Soon.
Well? Well, what'd you expect? I told you those home things are pretty accurate.
God.
So yes? Yup.
[SIGHS.]
You okay? You know I wanted to be in there with you.
No, Justin, I told you, two kids sitting in a clinic waiting room, everyone would've known.
Yeah, well.
So I guess we should-- I made an appointment for tomorrow.
You made an appointment? To, um have it, you know, taken care of.
Wait a second.
Just like that? Without us even talking about it, or What's to talk about, huh? Nothing.
[SIGHS.]
I'm just gonna get it over with as quickly as possible, and then it'll be over, and I won't have to think about it anymore.
Julia, let's-- MAN [OVER RADIO.]
: Time is running out.
There's only one more week.
Dunham and Clark's semi-annual-- JULIA: Did you figure out the answer to number 12, 'cause I can't, for the life of me, remember how many electrons barium has.
[SIGHS.]
Well? I wanna talk about this.
We have to talk about it.
Why? Justin, it's not gonna change what happened, and it's not gonna change what I have to do about it, and we have homework, so what's the point? What, are you scared? Is that it? All right, fine.
Are you mad at me? Do you think we did something wrong? 'Cause I don't.
[SIGHS.]
Look, I love you, and I don't think there is anything wrong with what we did.
So something screwed up with the condom.
But that is not anyone's fault.
It was just an accident.
I know.
Look, I want to go with you.
No, Justin.
Don't argue with me, all right? Look, Charlie's gonna take me, okay? He-- He's gonna drive me.
Char-- You told Charlie? Yeah.
I had to.
I'll call you after it's over.
[SIGHS.]
Number 12? [WATER SPLASHING.]
Damn it! I don't believe this.
I'm telling ya, the whole damn house is falling apart.
Pipes are like tissue paper, chimney's cracked, roof is shot to hell.
I don't wanna even think about how much a new one of those is gonna set us back.
Well, I'll tell you what.
Why don't you go and get an estimate? Not for just some half-assed patch job, but for the whole kit and caboodle.
And then come back, and we'll talk about it, you and I.
How does that sound? Uh Yeah.
Yeah.
You'll never guess.
So tell me.
Okay, this morning at breakfast, my dad says, "I'm flying down to L.
A.
to meet a client.
" And my mom, get this, my mom, totally out of the blue, says, "You know what, Peter? "I'll fly there with you, do some shopping.
And we can spend the night together.
" "We can spend the night together"? We can spend the night together.
God, is this fate, or what? They're gonna be gone till Friday.
Do you have, ya know, protection? 'Cause I-I have a doctor's appointment, but it's not till tomorrow.
Got it covered so to speak.
[BELL RINGS.]
Oh, test on the atom bomb.
Mwah.
Like I'm gonna be able to concentrate.
Bye.
Bye.
[INDISTINCT CONVERSATION.]
Jule.
Have you at least talked to somebody about this, Julia? Julia! I-I don't need to talk to anyone, okay? I know what I'm doing.
Oh, yeah.
I can see that.
[SIGHS.]
[SIGHS.]
All right, look.
I'm coming with you.
I'm gonna take you.
No.
Yes, Julia.
No argument.
Look, Charlie Justin's gonna be there, okay? He's meeting me.
So you don't have to worry.
Don't worry! Okay.
Satin sheets in the bedroom.
Well, you've-- You've, uh You've really gone all out.
Well, yeah.
This is the most important night of my life so far.
Uhyeah.
Besides, how many things can you look back on and say, "You know what? That changed everything.
" Right.
Uh, you know what, uh, Sarah, not to, umdiminish my own, uh, you know but, um, I don't know if, uh Bailey Look, tonight I'm gonna share something with you that is so, so important.
And I'm never going to share that with anybody ever again.
And it's like after this, I really am a woman.
Well, at least you're keeping it in perspective.
I'll put on some music, okay? 'Kay.
[SLOW POP MUSIC PLAYING.]
Hey.
Hey.
[SIGHS.]
Uhyou know what? Um I don't think that this is, um That this is feeling right.
What, am I leading? No, no, no, it's not that.
Um It's-- It's-- It's I don't want you to think that I don't want to do this, because I do, I really wanna do this.
But I don't know, I think maybe you're making it into too much, and-- And I'm starting to feel pressure.
To perform.
No, no, no , I'm fine with that.
Believe me.
It's-- It's-- It's pressure to, like, change your life or something, and I don't know that I can do that.
Look, I I don't want to disappoint you because I-I really do love you, and so so I-I don't think I wanna do this.
Not tonight.
Okay? [.]
[PHONES RINGING, PEOPLE TALKING INDISTINCTLY.]
WOMAN: "Maybe it's in the tree trunk.
" No, sweetie, that's a candlestick.
Then Mark and Robin with your cousins at table 10.
That's next to the dance floor.
Julia Salinger? [HORN HONKS.]
Julia.
Julia, hey, wait.
What? What are you doing here? I-I-I'm sorry.
Please don't get angry.
I couldn't not come.
Wow, that was fast.
I didn't know you'd be out so soon.
Yeah, well, um-- Where's Charlie? Wait.
You went alone? I, uh I did-- I didn't do it.
I couldn't do it.
I just ran out.
I left.
All right, well, maybe it was too quick.
Maybe you, uh need a couple more days? No, no, you don't get it.
It's not that I couldn't do it.
I'm not sure if I want to.
You're not sure you wanna have the abortion? I was just sitting there, and all of a sudden, I felt this, this panic, like, "What am I doing? "What am I giving up? What if this is something that I want?" Okay, okay, uh We should talk about this.
We should, uh We should sit down-- You're upset about this.
No, I'm not-- You just wanted me to get it over with, just get rid of it.
No, I'm-- I'm-- Justin, I thought you would understand.
Hey.
Hey.
Hey, umm Are we--? Are we cool? What? Oh, yeah.
Okay.
Okay, good.
Good, because I was thinking basically all last night how much I want to try again.
Are you sure? 'Cause I've got that doctor's appointment today, but I could cancel.
No, no.
Don't cancel it.
Don't cancel it.
But, uh, maybe we could try this whole thing like, with a little less, you know, fanfare.
A little lower key.
Less fanfare, lower key.
Right.
We're supposed to go to the movies tomorrow night, right? So maybe, afterwards, we go back to my house, and And maybe something happens.
Or maybe it doesn't.
See, maybe it's some other night.
Doesn't really matter.
I'm sorry, but I thought that soon was of the utmost importance.
Your words.
Yeah, I know, I know.
But I just don't want, like-- Like spotlights and music and plans.
You know? I want it to happen like-- Like the first time we kissed.
You know, just out of the blue.
Like-- Like, maybe we're sitting on my bed, together, and, and I start to kiss you, and I start to touch you, and then don't wanna stop, and then it just happens.
And it's exactly right.
It's perfect.
Right.
Right, because it will be.
DOCTOR: So look through the literature.
Think about it.
And call me again, and we'll talk some more.
Okay, thanks.
You did the right thing, coming in to talk about this, Julia.
Sarah.
Wow.
Heh.
This is weird, huh? God, so much for privacy.
I had no idea we had the same-- Yeah, listen, I-- I gotta go.
Hey.
Oh, hey.
So, um Sarah said she ran into you today at the doctor's office.
She said you looked upset.
No.
I'm okay.
Yeah? Mm-hmm.
He's not pressuring you or anything, Justin, is he? What do you mean? I mean that this is a big step, Jule, sex.
And guys, sometimes they don't even think about whether or not the girl's ready.
I know.
It's none of my business, right? Look I know you guys love each other, and-- And-- And I'm sure you know what you're doing.
Just Just be careful, 'kay? I mean, obviously, you are, 'cause that's why you were there today, right? That's not whyuh We were careful.
Always.
Every time.
You're lateBay.
[SIGHS.]
You are so too late.
Hey.
Were you gonna call me? I-I left, like, three messages for you.
Oh.
Oh, I'm sorry.
I was going to.
I'm just trying not to spend every second of every minute of every hour thinking about this.
Oh.
Is that workin'? Look the reason that I called you was, um I was thinkin' [SIGHS.]
I'm thinkin', uh Okay.
We could do this.
We could have a baby.
I figure I got a lot of extra credit, right? If they count my AP classes, I could get my diploma this spring.
And I bet that the-- The news station would hire me full-time.
We could find a way to make this work.
[.]
So what if we're young? So what if there's stuff we have to give up? We get something too.
Julia, people who have a lot less than us have kids.
Even people who love each other less.
Justin said we could have the baby if I wanted to.
He said he would help take care of us, graduate school early and stuff.
Pretty incredible, huh? Yeah.
But he doesn't mean it.
I mean, he means it, but I mean, how--? How--? How could I do that to him? What a terrible thing.
And, you know, he'd hate me for it, sooner or later.
Julia-- Anyway, I can have the baby and give it up for adoption.
But the doctor talked to me about that.
Andwhat's wrong with that? I don't know.
Maybe that's right.
Doesn't that seem more moral or something? I can't answer that, Jule.
Then I'd be pregnant for the rest of school, and I'd be pregnant when I was applying for colleges and for the interviews.
You think people would look at me differently? Yeah.
Obviously.
So maybe I should put off college for a year.
You know, just take a year off and have the baby on my own.
Why can't I do that? You can do that, Jule.
If you want to, you can You can keep the baby in this house here, with all of us.
Okay.
You just You have to make sure that you're ready to be a mother, and, uh, I'm not sure that you are.
So what? I mean, stuff happens in life.
Who cares if you're ready? Right? You just do it.
I mean, who knows that better than us? Right.
And how is this different from you and Owen? Let's be honest.
Were you ready to be a dad? No.
And now, I mean, would you give him back if you had a chance? No.
You see? So Then how can I-- It's not the same, Jule.
I was-- I was 24 years old.
I'd gone to college.
I'd had a chance to live a little.
You would be giving up so much.
And you have all this potential, you know? So much more than I'm ever gonna have.
To throw that all away So, what choice do I have left? [SIGHS.]
What'd I do to myself? Oh, um Hey.
That was fast.
Yeah.
I ran a couple lights.
Uh, your-- On the phone, your voice was, uh What is it? Please, please.
I'm dying.
You wanna Man, this family You oughta get a medal for just coming over here.
I mean, all I wanna do is go to a movie, but no, Bailey's off smooching, Julia's locked in her room, and Charlie keeps saying it's not a good time right now.
I mean, I swear, sometimes the only thing anyone says to me in this house is, "Go away.
" [SIGHS.]
Can I hang out with you, Justin? [.]
Justin? Claud, just go away, all right? Just get outta here.
Hey, Jule, um-- Go away, Claud.
Get outta here.
Did you and Justin have a fight or something? What? No.
Then why was he crying in the backyard just now? He was crying? Well, not a lot, but yeah.
I mean, he didn't want me to see.
What happened? Nothing.
Then why would he be You're going to bed? It's not even 9:00.
I'm tired, okay? What are these? Claud, wait! Why would? [ENGINE STARTS.]
Are you? [SIGHS.]
What are you gonna do? Are you gonna have the baby? I don't think so.
You're not? You're not gonna have it? Claud! [BELL RINGS.]
Hey.
Hey.
We still on for lunch? Yeah, um O-one sec, Julia asked me to take notes for her in McFarland's class.
Okay, done.
Here, um, can you give these to her, please? You know what? Maybe you could come by later and give these to her yourself.
Uh, I've got rehearsal this afternoon.
Well, then-- Then afterwards, 'cause I was thinking it might do her some good to talk-- You know, I'd rather not, okay? Why not? Because Uh, because she's got a lot going on right now, and the last thing she needs is to know what I think.
Well, what do you think? What do you think, Sarah? Nothing.
Nothing.
Let's not talk about it, okay? Is it still mac and cheese in the cafeteria? [WATER RUNNING.]
You don't have to leave.
That's okay.
Claudia, I wanna talk to you.
That's okay.
Claudia! I don't get it.
What? How could you even think about doing this? What about Owen? He was an accident too, I mean Do you think Mom and Dad should never have had him? Thisis different.
How is it different? It's not different at all.
Claudia, I am too young to have a baby! Claudia, please.
If you do this there are people who are gonna say that it's murder.
And you have to tell me what to say when they say that about you.
Tell me how to answer them.
Please.
I don't know.
But I would not do this if I thought that that was true.
Bailey I wanna take you home.
I know.
So bad.
I know.
[SIRENS WAILING IN DISTANCE.]
We're not gonna do this, are we? No.
God, I wish you would have brought this up a week ago.
Yeah.
We could've snuck in under the wire, huh? [SNICKERS.]
So does this make us lucky or unlucky? Hmm.
Kind of both, I guess.
So, Jule what time tomorrow? Oh, um Two o'clock.
Can I go with you? I want to.
Yeah, I guess.
Okay.
Thanks.
I know you feel alone in this, Julia, but you're not.
You're not the only one who's ever made this decision.
Something like a million women every year-- I know the statistics, Charlie.
Thanks.
I went with a girlfriend once.
To get one.
In college.
You did? Yeah.
[INHALES DEEPLY.]
Debra.
Debra Debra, "Lots of Bracelets" Debra.
[SNICKERS.]
We didn't talk much beforehand about the decision, I mean, it just made sense, for both of us.
We weren't even 20, and it wasn't like we were in love with each other.
So I felt really bad about it for a while afterwards.
But, that feeling it goes away.
You don't carry it around forever, Julia, you really don't.
I mean before this happened with you, I hadn't even thought about it in, like, years.
Andwhat about her? Well it took a little time, I guess, but yeah.
I mean, eventually, she She was okay.
You stayed in touch? Wellum no, not exactly.
S-s-so how do you know she doesn't still carry this around with her? All I'm trying to say is Is that it's hard now, but it's gonna get easier.
[DOOR OPENS AND CLOSES.]
JUSTIN: Julia? Could you stopswinging? Sure.
I've been kinda nervous all day that now that you've decided, I thought you might get kinda mad at me again.
You might look at me like, "That's the guy that did this to me.
" You didn't do anything to me.
[SIGHS.]
We did it together.
Right.
You can hug me back, ya know, that's allowed.
Justin, stop.
What? Are you angry? You're angry, I-I I don't get it, you just said that we did this together.
Yeah! But we did it to me.
And it's in my body, and I'm the one making the decision.
Okay, but-- I promise you, you-- You don't know what it feels like.
You may think you do, but you don't.
All right.
Tell me how it feels, then.
Justgo homeJustin.
Being here with me doesn't help.
And having to explain it to you doesn't help, because it's not about you, and it's not about us.
[TEARFULLY.]
It's about me.
Julia-- You don't have to worry.
You're gonna be okay.
You're gonna get over this pretty soon, and everything's gonna be back to normal.
That's how it is for guys.
And no one is gonna look at you later and say, "Guess what he did, once?" I'm the one they're gonna look at.
I'm the one who's gonna carry this around, who can't ever get rid of it.
So don't try and share this with me 'cause you can't.
'Cause it's mine.
[DOOR CLOSES.]
Sarah.
Hey.
Morning.
Um, thanks for the notes from yesterday.
Are you waiting for Bay? Yeah, well, he's still in the shower.
Ah.
So, you know, I was thinking.
We-- We definitely used to talk more before you and Bay which is kinda too bad.
'Cause it seems like everyone else in my life is a guy.
And they're all being really nice, but there are just some things you don't want to talk about.
You know? No kidding.
I tried to call Kirsten, but she's on a trip.
Kind of a strange message to leave.
Anyway, I know this is gonna sound really stupid, but I'm actually getting kinda scared about what's gonna happen physically, you know? Julia What? Um I'm not the right person.
What? I'm not trying to make you feel bad.
I'm really not.
Please don't think that.
I just have problems for myself.
'Cause of being adopted.
I mean, if my mom would've made the same choice as you, I wouldn't be here.
Oh.
Right.
Right.
Um See, you have to understand-- No, Julia.
I know you need somebody on your side.
I know that.
And I want to but I can't.
I'm really sorry.
BAILEY: I just think she wants to be left alone now.
Yeah, well, it's not like I'm just gonna honk from the curb when she's ready.
I mean, I wanna spend a little time with her -before we have to leave.
-Justin, Charlie's taking her.
Right, that's what she said last time.
No.
He's taking her.
Justin, that's the way she wants it, I guess, so why don't you just give her some time? Really, this is hard for her.
You know what, Bailey? You don't need to tell me that.
It's hard for me too.
I'm not this completely irrelevant person, all right? -No one said that-- -That's how everyone's acting.
You know what? And I am sick of it! Just because some guys are jerks doesn't mean that's me, all right?! I know she's sad.
Well, you know what? I'm losing something too.
You know what would be nice? If it wasn't just me saying "I'm sorry" all the time.
It would be nice if once-- Just once! --somebody asked me if I was okay.
[.]
Charlie? In here.
Have you seen Owen's Alcatraz sweatshirt? Um I-- I think we gotta go.
Why? Your appointment's at 2:00.
It's only-- You gotta take me now, Charlie.
Okay.
JAKE: It's gonna rain.
That's what my knee tells me.
Are you okay? You've been down here for hours.
I'm just going through what's left of my stuff.
Any idea where Julia went? Um Out.
You know, I worry about you guys.
There seems to be a lot of closed doors around here and-- And red eyes and, uh If something were going on, like with Julia, and I knew about it, maybe I could help.
You can't help.
Well, okay.
But if something comes up that you kids can't handle-- Charlie'll take care of her.
And I-- I don't think she's gonna be able to talk to you about this because it's just too big of a thing, so, um maybe you should just leave her alone.
I won't push.
I wanna tell you, Grandpa, but I can't 'cause I'm scared.
I mean I don't want you to think any different of her, and you might if you knew, so I think it's better that you don't.
CHARLIE: I should check on Owen.
Are you all right gettin' up the stairs? JULIA: Yeah, I'll be fine.
[DOOR CLOSES.]
Hey.
[SIGHS.]
So, it's over, huh? I, uh had a miscarriage.
What? The doctor said not to worry, that it happens in, like one in five pregnancies.
So I-- I didn't need an abortion.
Oh.
Could you, um call Justin for me and ask him to come over? Yeah.
Yeah.
I'm sorry.
I know that you're sad, and Well, I'm sorry.
I'm not mad at you anymore, okay, Jule? Right, sure, 'cause I didn't do it.
No.
Julia, what? Go away, Claud, okay? I can't do this with you now, and [SIGHS.]
I can'tlook at you because I know what you really think of me.
No, you don't.
You don't know what I think.
I don't think anything bad about you, Julia.
I promise I don't.
Look, I mean, I wanna do something nice for you.
Not now, okay? Why not? Look, Claud, I'm-- I'm not trying to make you feel bad, okay? I don't have the energy to worry about you feeling guilty, and none of this really matters right now.
I just need Did they let Charlie go in with you? But there was a nurse, and she held my hand.
Told my about some trip she'd taken to Hawaii.
The airline lost her luggage.
Really? God, it's-- No.
No, she was nice.
It helped, listening to her chatter.
You know, I wanted to be there.
I would have been there if you had let me.
I know.
Justin, there wasn't enough time.
Yeah, but I mean, even if there was, you wouldn't have called me.
I meanyou didn't even call afterwards.
Bailey was the one-- I told him to tell you to come over, not to tell you what happened.
That was a mistake.
I'm-- I'm sorry.
I haven't been very fair to you through all this, have I? Or nice, even.
I'm sorry about that too.
Well I keep tryin' to figure out-- I keep thinking maybe this wouldn't be so bad if we were sharing it.
I mean, can't we at least share it now? Good.
Julia.
[SIGHS.]
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I just feel so sad, you know? Yeah.
But the fact that it happened like this I mean, for me, at least, there's a little, teeny bit of relief.
It kind of makes it easier, doesn't it? Not much.
No, actually.
You didn't do anything, Julia.
ButI-I can't act like the choice was taken out of my hands.
I mean, I would have made the choice, Justin.
It was the least worst of a lot of bad options, and I would have done it.
But you know what? No matter how it happens, I mean, any way, it's still hard.
Yeah.
Yeah, it is.
Did you get the one over by the window? Uh Yeah, got it.
Wait.
Oh, I think-- Yes, right there.
Uh-- Toss me one.
Well-- Damn it.
We're short a bucket.
Let me see.
Here.
[GIGGLES.]
Well, now that I've ensured you won't wash away overnight, I guess I should go.
Wait a second.
Listen to that.
[DRIPPING AND PATTERING.]
Nice.
Don't go.
Stay here.
Why don't--? Why don't you stay over? -Bailey.
-No, nothing like that.
Just We'll just sleep.
Together.
We'll just-- We'll go to sleep together.
[THUNDER RUMBLING.]
Do you have a T-shirt I could borrow or something? Yeah.
Here.
Could you maybe turn around? Yes.
Sorry.
[SIGHS.]
[CLEARS THROAT.]
[SIGHS.]
[PACHELBEL'S "CANON IN D" PLAYING.]
This is nice too, huh? Hm.
JULIA: It's okay.
I'm awake.
Mind the company? No.
Whoop.
Sorry, was that you? Does anything hurt? Oh-- No.
Nothing hurts.
Okay.
Good.
Heh.
Uh I was thinking that I probably haven't been all that helpful through all this.
Oh, come on.
No, it's true.
You probably would have been a lot better off if Mom had been here.
She would have known the exact right way to-- To talk to you about all this stuff.
That is so-- [SIGHS.]
You're a good brother, Charlie.
I don't know.
You couldn't have done anything.
If you had told me no, Justin and I still would have slept with each other.
Soyou didn't make a mistake.
I made the mistake.
Only me.
Well It's over, Jule.
You can kinda put it behind you now.
It's just going to take a little time, that's all.
You just have to bear with me, okay? [SIGHING.]
Well I'm not tired, so [CHUCKLES.]
we can talk as long as you want.
Mm.
[SIGHS.]
It's really pouring, huh? Oh, man.
Makes me think about how you and Claudia wouldn't sleep on nights like this.
[THUNDER RUMBLES QUIETLY.]
You'd get Mom and Dad to light a fire downstairs and make hot chocolate.
Play What's the name of that game again? Chutes and ladders.
for like hours.
Should we see if anybody's up for that tonight? Hm.
Think I might be too old for that now.
Yeah, I guess so.
Too bad, huh? Really.
[.]