Phineas and Ferb s02e18 Episode Script

All right, crew.
Prepare to set sail on the hunt of a lifetime! Ensign Isabella, raise the jib! Aye, aye, Captain Phineas.
Ahoy, Ferb! Any sign of the great white whale? You guys better not be talking about me! Boys, can't you wait till we get the boat in the water? Well, it's uh not actually called a boat, darling, it's called a sloop.
And when we're on sea there's no right or left, only port and starboard.
So, which side has the restroom? It's not a restroom, it's– It's called the poop deck.
Well no, actually, it's called the head.
Really? 'Cause poop deck makes much more sense.
Dad, can we just get this over with? Jeremy's throwing a romantic summer soiree at sunset tonight.
I'm kinda on a deadline here.
Oh, don't worry, darling.
It's only gonna be a three-hour tour.
A three-hour tour? You can use the time to soak up some vitamin D.
Fine! Candace distracted, check! Kids with the lifejackets– Check! Excellent! Family pet.
Say, where's Perry? Oh, Perry stayed home.
Baljeet's watching him.
Hey, Baljeet.
What'cha doin'? I am watching Perry the Platypus.
I promised to not take my eyes off of him all day.
Well, this is lame.
He's a platypus.
They do not do much.
Maybe he needs some motivation.
No, no! Please! I have given my solemn oath, to protect the little monotreme until the Flynn family comes home.
What is that weird noise? I don't know.
Maybe a car alarm? Wait.
I think it stopped.
Hey, Phineas.
What'cha doin'? My king-of-the-world bit.
Hey, check that out! And look at those cool flags.
According to my Fireside Girls manual, each one of those flags has a meaning.
The blue flag means crab season, and the yellow flag means hold the mustard, and that last one I'm not sure what that one means.
Okay, who turned off the sun? Oh, here it is.
The red flag with the black box means Storm warning! You kids get below! I'll head us back to shore! Whooah! Lawrence, we're heading towards that whirlpool.
Keep faith in me, my darling! I have everything under control! Agent P, come in! Agent P? Blast it! Carl, why doesn't he answer? I think it's comin' from his stomach.
He must be hungry.
I will get him something to eat.
Don't worry, little ducky thing.
We're gonna take good care of you.
Is everything all right, Agent P? I'm sensing you're in a bit of a jam.
Can you get us a better view of the situation? I'm gonna hug you and squeeze you, and never let you go.
Looks like we picked a bad day to send all of our field agents to sensitivity training.
We're all out of options.
I was hoping this day would never come.
But, Carl, this is your big chance! (Song: Carl, the Intern) Carl! He works a camera! Carl! He knows what all those buttons do! Carl! He'll clear the paper jam! Carl! And he'll pick up the laundry, too He knows how to format, spell check and text edit He's workin' this job just for college credit! He's Carl, the intern! Carl! Ugh, I think it's finally clearing up.
Well, the ship held together pretty good, didn't it? Of course, we'll have to re-attach the wheel, and fix that, uh Giant hole.
Now, kids, are you all right? We're fine! Hey, where's Ferb? Are you okay? Oh, there you are.
And there's Candace! Hey, what gives? Whoa, this doesn't look too good at all.
Kids, don't come up here! It's far too dangerous! Mom and I will fix the boat.
Candace, why don't you look for some food? And, boys, you could find us some shelter if you like.
We may be here for a while.
A while? You mean we're stranded? That means I won't get to Jeremy's party before the sunsets! We'll be stuck here forever eating rocks and bugs, then I'll have to marry a monkey and have monkey-kids, and name them Xavier and Amanda! And we'll love them anyway.
Candace, the sooner we get started, the sooner we all get to go home.
Fine.
Stay safe, everyone! Shelter Shelter Well, this spot has potential.
Great, let's get started! (Song: Quirky Worky Song (Tropical Island Version)) Remember, Carl.
Nothing distracts kids like ice cream.
You need to get rid of those two boys so Agent P can proceed with his mission.
Aye, aye, sir! Both hands on the wheel, Carl! Sorry, sir.
Oh, Perry.
I could not find the platypus food.
Oh, boy! Ice cream! Ice cream! Oh, I almost forgot Perry.
Come along.
Let us get you a little treat.
Gimme a double caramel fudge.
Here you go.
Ugh! Hey! This is butterscotch ripple! Is this your first day on the job or somethin'? Hey! He didn't charge me! Rookie mistake.
I did not even get to– Wait! Where is Perry? Glad to have you back, Agent P.
You lost some time, but I brought along the escape cone.
Agent P, we've just received reports that Doofenshmirtz has been buying up all the laundry detergent in the Tri-State Area.
We want you to find out what he's up to and put a stop to it.
You'll need to use your tracking device to find him before your delicious ice cream cone melts.
"Oh, Candace, go find us some food.
" Yeah, like a quart of ice cream is just gonna fall out of the– Ugh, where is Perry the Platypus? He should have been here hours ago.
Ah, Perry the Platypus.
Well, y'know, I had a trap for you, but no time.
This one's a little complicated, okay? You remember a few schemes ago when I couldn't figure out what "Big Laundry" meant? Well, this! This is what I meant! I am nefariously planning to provide the entire population of the Tri-State Area with free laundry, which will drive out of business all of the local laundromats, freeing up prime real estate locations for my newest franchise, the Doofenshmirtz Institute of Evilology, where in only six weeks, students can earn a certificate in mayhem, larceny, or Ponzi schemes.
And I'm here in this volcano on this deserted island 'cause I get all this free monkey labor.
I control them all with my Monkey-Enslave-inator helmet.
And all I had to do was build one of them, because, you know, monkey see, monkey do.
Hey, hey! Yeah, y-you can't put the red clothes in with the white wash! You'll turn the whole batch into a big pink mess! Bright colors over there, you incompetent baboon! Literally.
Okay, now what was I talking about? Perry! Where are you? Oh.
It is no use.
I fear he is gone for good.
Why don't you just buy him a new one? They won't know the difference.
You cannot just buy a– Wait.
That gives me an idea! We don't need to eat.
We need to get out of here! I swear, if I don't get to Jeremy's party– Yuck! Monkey cootie! So, what do you think of our shelter? Can't you just be normal for one day?! All you had to do was make a little lean-to for survival.
Well, there's survival, and then there's living.
Let us give you a quick tour.
We've got everything we need to make our maritime mishap as enjoyable as possible.
Here's our warm and cozy family room, a fully-stocked kitchen.
We even have indoor plumbing.
You're giving a monkey a shower? Yep.
Had to be done.
Ugh! Don't you realize I have a very important party to go to? If you're going to all this trouble, you could have built us a bridge back to town! But Dad didn't ask us to build a bridge.
Or you could have built us a coconut-powered hovercraft! But Dad didn't ask us to build the– Or-Or you could have made a gigantic slingshot, and shot us back to the mainland! Hey! Not bad.
Mind if we use that someday? Ooh, you two are gonna be so busted! Oh, wait.
No, Candace! Not that way! That's the– –emergency exit.
I was trying to tell you, it's not done yet.
There's gonna be this whole slide thing that dumps you into the hot tub! We're waiting on some parts! No, no, Perry the Platypus! Well, you put that down right– Ow! Ow! Ow, that smarts! So, Candace, do you want a banana smoothie? I got you guys this time! There's no way you could dismantle your stupid tropical dream house before I drag Mom back here to bust you! So No smoothie then? Ow! Ow! Oh! Ow! That's right, run away, Perry the Pla– Nice try, Perry the Platyp– Oh, wai-wai-wait, what are you doing? Don't throw the bright colors in with the– Eh, that's too much soap! Curse you, Perry the Pla– I told you no starch! Volcano! We need to move now! Wait until Mom and Dad find out! Run, Candace! Pink lava behind you! Pink lava? Well, that's it.
Great job fixing the ship, honey.
But how are we going to get it back in the water? Oh, yes.
Well Um Mom, Dad, we gotta get outta here! Woo! Hurry up, kids! Women and children first! Kids, we're headed home! You were magnificent, captain! Can't we go any faster! Come on, steer this thing! Go, go, go, go, go! Oh, Buford.
Perhaps this will buy us a little time.
Frozen waffle, please.
Ugh.
Sorry.
Got hungry.
Ugh.
Maybe they will not know the difference.
I think it's pretty convincing.
Oh, who am I kidding? We will have to tell them the truth! You're on your own, Jeet! I'm outta here! Hey, Baljeet.
We're home! Hold on, Jeremy! I'm coming! Oh, my friends! I hope you can forgive me! Hey, Baljeet, wait till you hear what we did today.
But I have something to tell you first! What is it? It is– Oh, there you are, Perry! Aw, and look at that! Baljeet made Perry a little friend.
Thanks, Baljeet.
I knew we could count on you.
Carl! He works a camera! Carl! He knows what all those buttons do! Carl! He'll clear the paper jam! Carl! And he'll pick up the laundry, too He knows how to format, spell check and text edit He's workin' this job just for college credit! He's Carl, the intern! Carl!