Sports Night (1998) s02e18 Episode Script
Draft Day: Part II - The Fall of Ryan O'Brian
Previously on "Sports Night" "l think you're cute, and|I've had fun talking to you, and I'd like you|to ask me out.
" Yes.
You're dating a porn star? It might rain|at lndian Wells.
-- If it does, we stay on the|air for the second round.
|-- I'm not staying on the air.
You know, Casey, I'm getting|a little tired of you being senior camp counselor|around here.
Hey, you know what?|If you're not here,|then I can't use you.
-- When did I become|Ed McMahon to you?|-- No, you're not, and|you know it, all right? But I need to be able|to do my show.
-- And when did|it become your show?|-- Come on, we're on the air.
I'm transferring live footage|to your monitors.
Take a look.
It's raining|at lndian Wells.
Casey:|A 6'7", 325-pound tackle|out of Oregon State, Anthony Papajohn,|goes to Tampa Bay with the 22nd pick|in the first round.
Dan, I'm told at the|Scouting Combine last winter that Papajohn ran|the 40-yard dash in 4.
4 seconds.
That's pretty fast|for somebody his size.
That's pretty fast for|someone anyone's size, though I suppose|any play designed for an offensive lineman|to run 40 yards is probably ill-conceived.
Let's go back to the Garden,|[ Door opens .]
where Kelly Kirkpatrick|is standing by live.
Kelly? Fire me.
What? Fire me.
Do it now.
-- Why?|- I'm a bad worker.
-- No, you're not.
|-- I come late, I leave early.
You come early|and you stay late.
You come in on|your days off.
And isn't that|a little weird? Oh, yeah.
Well, then, enough's|enough, Isaac.
Fire me.
I'm not firing you.
I say things behind your back.
No, you don't.
It's behind your back, lsaac.
There's no way you'd know.
It'd get back to me.
No, these things are|too terrible, and I can't live|with the guilt.
I'll save you the trouble|of firing me and simply offer|my resignation.
-- I won't accept it.
|-- You have to accept it.
You have a contract.
-- Then fire me.
|-- No.
I'm a racist.
Really? Yeah, I'm a terrible|racist, but I've been in|the closet all these years, and I've decided I need|to live an honest life.
And I think all those people|with the different skin colors|and the funny accents should go back|where they came from and leave America|to the white people who killed the lndians|in the first place --|which they deserved.
-- Jeremy|-- The whole country's|being taken over by|the blacks and the Jews.
-- You're Jewish.
|-- Well, I've got|to be stopped, lsaac.
Jeremy, what is the matter|with you? I'm totally screwed! Jeremy:|I'm totally screwed.
Isaac: Porn star problems?|-- Yes.
-- She's coming here?|-- Yes.
-- This afternoon?|-- Yes.
Natalie doesn't know|about her yet? She knows I'm seeing someone.
But she doesn't know|it's a porn star.
Do we have to|call her a porn star? Can we call her an adult-film|actress or simply Jenny? Is it important|that we say "porn star" as many times as possible? Can we have a civilization,|for crying out loud? Okay, okay,|you're freaking out again.
Yes.
Why'd you ask Jenny|to come here? I wanted to demonstrate|to her that I have no problem|with who she is or what she does|for a living, that I can bring her|to my workplace, my place of business, and introduce her to my friends|with my head held high, with no puritanical|judgments, that it's her and me and let|the rest of the world be damned|if they don't like it.
I told her to come here|today so she could see I'm not the person|she thinks I am.
And? I'm exactly the person|she thinks I am.
Well, that's not too bad.
I told her to|come here at 3:00, knowing we'd be done|with the first-round coverage by midday and Natalie|would be gone by then.
You know the only thing|that could foil my plan? Yeah, if it started to rain|at lndian Wells.
-- How can it be raining|at lndian Wells?|-- Maybe it's the rainy season.
Indian Wells|is a desert, lsaac.
If deserts had a rainy|season, they'd be|called something else.
Fair point.
I also told Natalie that|Jenny is a choreo-animator.
What's a choreo-animator? Someone who choreographs|the dances in cartoons.
-- You mean like the hippos|in Fantasia?|-- Yeah.
That's a great job.
Nothing wrong with being|a choreo-animator.
Right, except she's not|a choreo-animator, -- she's a porn star.
|-- Damn! You're telling me|these people can't|play tennis in the rain? Well, those are clay courts|out there.
And I think probably|the ball would lose|a little bounce coming off the mud.
Net game, net game,|net game! Whatever happened|to the fundamentals?! For the love of God, a little|civilization is all I ask! -- Jeremy|-- Right.
So Fire me.
Sorry, kid, you're too good.
|I need you here.
What if I stand|right in your office and look you in the eye|and call you Sambo? [ Laughs .]
Thanks for stopping by,|Jeremy.
You crack me up.
-- I didn't sell it.
|-- No.
How do the real racists|do it? It's too late for you, son.
You got to be taught|by your parents.
I suppose.
Go back to work.
Yes, sir.
Casey: Offensive tackle|Anthony Papajohn taken by Tampa Bay|with the 22nd pick.
Pittsburgh's on the clock.
|We're gonna take a quick break.
You're watching live coverage|of Draft Day 2000 right here on CSC,|so stick around.
We're out.
-- That was funny before --|-- Yeah? About if a lineman|has to run 40 yards, this play was probably|ill-conceived.
Thanks.
-- Look, Danny|-- Drop dead.
You owe me an apology,|jackass.
And until I get one,|keep your reviews to yourself.
I'm sorry.
-- Yeah?|-- I'm very sorry.
I don't think you are.
I am.
In fact, I'm so sorry,|it's almost hard for me to think of different ways|to say "bite me.
" I think you've come up with|quite enough for one day.
Oh, no, no, no, no,|I don't think I have.
Look, can we continue this|conversation someplace else? No, I want to stay out here,|Casey.
I don't want to miss a precious moment|of Draft Day 2000.
[ Sighs .]
Would you get|your ass back here? You understand when you|throw a hissy fit 'cause a rainout at|lndian Wells means you|got to work longer, you send seismic shock waves|through an organization full of people who are under|the impression we all enjoy|doing this together? It's not part of my job|to make sure everybody's|having a good time, okay? If it is,|I need to be paid more.
I manage to do it whether|it's a part of my job or not.
Maybe that's 'cause|you are paid more.
Well, I'm paid considerably|more, Danny.
Is that what you want|to talk about? Well, excuse me|for finding it baffling.
We do the exact same work.
|I write half the show.
|You write half the show.
Well, maybe it's|because who knows when|you're gonna decide you'd rather play 18 holes|than anchor team coverage? God, Casey, aren't you|interested in having any life|at all outside the studio? Not really, but when l|do decide to step out, will you be the one to|show me how it goes, 'cause|your life's so hot, Danny? We didn't have enough|to fight about -- you|had to bring up the money? Sorry.
Was I bringing|you down on Draft Day 2000? Why don't you go|into the control room|and pick up the troops? That will make you|feel better.
You know what? I'm a|capitalist like everyone|else in this country, and I'm paid exactly|what the market will bear.
My agent asks for an amount,|and that's what they pay me, 'cause they know|if they don't,|somebody else will.
You ask for the same thing,|they won't pay it to you|because nobody else will.
Meaning? You came with me.
|Deal with it.
Dave: In 10.
|-- [ Scoffs .]
I know it's real hard taking off|that Eagle Scout uniform, 'cause you look|so snappy in it, but I never wanted|your help, I never needed your|help, and God knows|I never asked for it.
Yeah, bite me.
In 32 Welcome back.
|Pittsburgh still has two minutes and change|before they announce their first pick of the draft,|who very likely will be My man Lashon.
Lashon be the mon --|Lashon Tarrington of the Florida State|Seminoles, the wide receiver|drafted out of FSU.
-- What were the odds?|-- Very good indeed.
-- You know, I came this close|to being drafted as|a wide receiver?|-- Really? What happened? Well, I never actually|played organized ball.
-- Ah.
|-- And even if I had,|I wasn't fast enough|to be a wide receiver.
-- But other than that|-- This close, my friend.
Pittsburgh's made|their selection.
Let's go to the Garden|for the commissioner's|announcement.
Go one.
Desk at standby.
I am so happy in my T-shirt.
|I really am.
And I know|you'd all be happy, too, if you were wearing yours.
I got a whole sack|of T-shirts back in my office.
-- Dana, Elliot has something|he'd like to say.
|-- Yeah? No, I don't.
-- Yes, you do.
|Dana: Guys? -- You're driving him nutsy|with the T-shirts.
|-- Really? I, on the other hand,|would like one.
-- Oh, me too.
|-- I'd like a T-shirt as well.
-- Suck-ups.
|-- [ Laughs .]
-- Yes, indeed.
|-- Give me a T-shirt.
Give me one, too.
|I'll make it look good.
Ah, I'll go get the bag.
I'll go with you.
You see? I got them|wearing T-shirts.
Ha ha! Tell me I don't|have leadership skills.
So, it is confirmed,|by the way.
-- Yeah?|-- Jeremy's seeing|someone new.
That's what I'd heard.
Well, now it's confirmed.
Yeah?|You know what she does? As a matter of fact, I do.
|She's a professional|choreo-animator.
She teaches dances|to cartoon characters? She doesn't teach them.
|She makes them up.
-- Of course.
|-- Then she demonstrates them|to the animators, who draw -- Oh, who the hell cares?|He's over me.
Oh, not so fast.
|This is a rebound girl while the two of you|take a break.
No, this is what he wanted.
A choreo-animator -- could anything be|more symbolic? -- Natalie|-- We broke up fundamentally|'cause I wanted to experience|more of the world, and he was happy|with what he had.
Now he can spend|the rest of his life with the cartoon characters that graced the walls|of his boyhood bedroom during what I'm sure|was a very safe|and happy childhood.
Cartoon characters graced the|walls of his boyhood bedroom? How the hell do I know, Dana?|I'm speaking metaphorically.
Oh, well, you should let me|know when you do that.
I don't understand.
|You just fell down? -- Yes.
|-- How did you fall down? I don't know.
|I was at home -- How did you fall down|so that you only hurt|that part of your face? I didn't trace|the trajectory or anything.
I just -- boop --|fell down.
Mm-hmm.
Pittsburgh took|Simon Marcus.
That's not what they need.
They're gonna turn him|into what they need.
We're gonna be back.
|Let's go.
-- Oh, Dana, the T-shirts.
|-- Yeah? The T-shirts.
[ Elevator bell dings .]
Why don't you tell|her these are special|circumstances? -- Yeah?|-- Special circumstances.
|It's your ex-girlfriend.
You made up a story 'cause|you knew how hurt she'd|be if she knew the truth.
Well, that's great,|except it's not true.
Well, who cares?|It's special circumstances.
I didn't make up|the story for Natalie.
I made it up for everybody.
Anyway|special circumstances.
"Hi, I made up this story|about you 'cause the whole idea of you|embarrasses me.
" What kind of man|does that to a woman? What, you don't think|guys have done that|to her before? I know they have.
|That's the point.
She shouldn't ever have to|deal with that again, not ever.
It's cheap, it's shoddy,|it's something less than right.
Well, sounds like|you're ready to go for it.
I am, I absolutely am.
|I mean, if not now, when? If not me, then who? Later and somebody else.
If you could see her face.
By the way, when I do,|am I gonna be able|to recognize her? -- I don't know.
|-- Two minutes back.
Oh, we're|coming around again.
|I got to get back in.
Okay.
I'll see you inside.
[ Elevator bell dings .]
Hey, sport.
Hey.
-- You look fantastic.
|I mean, fantastic.
|-- Thank you.
I do? Really, l-I mean,|your taste in clothes -- It's bluejeans|and a sweatshirt.
Well, you must know the|special shops or something|'cause this outfit Jeremy, what have you done? It's kind of|a complicated question.
Well, I'm a pretty|smart girl, Jeremy.
Why don't you|run it by me? Well, I believe you are|worthy of nothing less|than total honesty.
There is nothing about|your life that anyone|need snicker at, and anybody who does,|I certainly have no use for.
Nor is there|anything about your life|that I feel ashamed of.
So, I have told everybody|the absolute truth.
-- Really?|-- Yes Except -- no.
What am l? A choreo-animator.
A choreo-animator? Yes.
I make up dances|for cartoon characters? -- Yes.
|-- I'm going home.
Please don't.
-- Why?|-- Special circumstances.
-- Jeremy|-- N-No, special circumstances.
-- Jenny, I meant everything|I said there before.
|-- [ Sighs .]
I really do feel that way,|but you got to appreciate|that this isn't easy.
You've gotta appreciate|that it isn't easy|for people to hear, and it isn't easy|for me to say.
But I'm trying hard.
I'm not doing that well,|but I'm trying hard, and you got to acknowledge|that that's something.
[ Elevator bell dings .]
Let's go.
You really do|look fantastic.
-- Shut up.
|-- Absolutely.
Dan: And that's what|they were looking for.
Kendall Gates,|the Wolverines'|all-time record-holding pass-catching tight end|from Tuskegee, will be trading in the maize|and blue of Michigan for the silver and black|of Oakland as the 5th pick|of the second round.
-- I don't understand.
|You just fell?|-- Yes.
Well, how do you fall so that that's the only|part of your face that you hit? Practice.
Natalie, Ryan O'Brian has been|passed up by 31 teams.
He's not going|to Arizona, either.
Why don't you put together|some stuff for Dan and|Casey to talk about? -- lt'll take a few minutes.
|-- Go.
This is the newsroom.
It's very cool.
I know.
|This is a girl, everybody.
Her name is Jenny.
|This is our third date.
No one asked me|what you did for a living.
For surely if they had,|I'd have told them.
Mm-hmm.
|Where's Natalie? -- Huh?|-- Doesn't Natalie|work in the newsroom? Oh, not during showtime.
During showtime, that|girl is glued to her|seat in the control room.
-- Hey, Jeremy.
|-- And there's no civilization|to be found on the planet.
You must be Jenny.
-- Natalie.
|-- Good to meet you.
-- I hope I'm not in the way.
|-- Not at all.
Make sure|you get the whole tour.
Okay, civilization lives.
-- Is it true|you're a choreo-animator?|-- Yes.
That's really interesting.
|How did you get into that? -- Uh, it's --|-- Nat, who's on the clock? Oakland, then Seattle.
|And Ryan O'Brian.
This is a guy|who was supposed to go|in the first round then fell to the second|and still hasn't gone.
-- And Dana wants to feed|something to Dan and Casey.
|-- So you gotta go.
|We totally understand.
-- Actually, I was gonna|give it to you.
|-- Farming out assignments,|Natalie? Should you be shirking your|responsibilities like that? My responsibilities are|to farm out assignments.
Right.
Okay, sitting right|here tight at my desk, where I will put together|material on Ryan O'Brian.
And if you two stand|right there, I'll be in earshot|should anything happen.
How did you become|a choreo-animator? Well, believe it or not, I'd come to New York|on a dance scholarship, actually, to study|at Juilliard, um, but I had people back home|who needed money, and I could always draw.
And, uh, a guy offered me|money one time to draw,|and I did.
And so that's|what I do now.
I'll think about you|every time I see all the fish dancing|in The Little Mermaid.
Yeah, I'm proud of that one.
Jeremy --|uh, Ryan O'Brian.
-- Huh?|-- Dan and Casey are gonna|need it for the 10 block.
Yeah.
[ Both chuckle .]
She's sweet.
Why did you|break up with her? -- Can I talk to you|in there for a second?|-- Yeah.
Why didn't you|tell me that before? Is this Dan|and Casey's office? Yeah.
Why didn't you|tell me that before? -- It's pretty small.
|-- Jenny Television isn't|as glamorous on the other|side of the camera, -- but l, of all people,|should know that.
|-- Damn it.
You never asked, Jeremy, and I don't go through life|singing my sad song so people|won't mind me so much.
Jeremy, did Natalie|ask you -- Ryan O'Brian.
I'm on it.
-- Hi.
|-- Hi.
-- I'm Dana Whitaker.
|-- Hi, Dana.
Dana, we were just|in the middle of something.
-- Ryan O'Brian?|-- I'll get you the stuff.
Why do you suppose|he's dropping so -- Because he flunked|the Higgins-Ferris test|at the Combine.
He can't read defenses.
He's got the arm, he can|move out of the pocket, but he can't read Dr.
Seuss,|much less a nickel zone.
|I will get you the stuff.
Okay.
-- You're a choreo-animator?|-- Yes.
-- Dana|-- Tell me something.
When the hippos|in Fantasia -- She's not a choreo-animator.
|She's a porn star.
You got a problem with that? No.
Okay, then.
I will get you|the stuff on O'Brian.
Okay.
See that? You see|what I just did? Jeremy, you did not|hear what I said.
-- No, I did.
|-- Look, I don't want what|happened, how I got here -- I don't want to have to -- I am perfectly at peace|with what I do.
-- And I am at peace|with what you do, too.
|-- No, you're not.
No, no, I'm not, but I can|get there.
I really can.
I can try, and l|can get used to it.
I mean, you gotta remember,|with any two people, it's gonna be hard,|but these -- I mean, you -- these are special|circumstances, if ever there were.
But I like you|so much, Jenny, and it's only|our third date.
I like you so much,|and I am telling you the day will come|when I'm at peace, and until then,|I'm just gonna try.
It's not good enough for me.
Okay.
So long.
[ Pills rattle in bottle .]
[ Sighs .]
Hey.
-- [ Gasps .]
|-- Oh, sorry.
Oh, you scared me.
Sorry.
I should give you|that 100 bucks now.
There's still 21 picks|left in the second round.
I missed five.
|Did you get Rofofsky? -- Yeah.
|-- Have you missed any so far? -- No.
|-- I gotta get back.
|[ Chuckles .]
Dana, I'm not saying|you've got the physical grace -- of a cougar or anything|-- Look but you don't just fall down.
-- My skin breaks out.
|-- I know.
I was there in college|and that time in L.
A.
It's a recurring|nervous condition.
What happened? [ Chuckles .]
|It recurred.
What are you nervous about? Idon't know.
Is it the show? I|[ Sighs .]
[ Exhales sharply .]
really don't know.
Look, don't worry about me|and Danny, all right? Oh, I could kill him|sometimes.
He blew off|the golf game.
He stayed|for the second round.
I'm supposed to|consider that magnanimous? Nobut don't worry|about it.
-- They put together some|stuff on Ryan O'Brian for you.
|-- Yeah.
Give us a 30-,|45-second intro, then throw it to Callie|at the Garden.
She'll do a quick stand-up,|then right back to you.
-- This set?|-- Yeah.
Okay.
So don't worry|about it.
I should have had|more T-shirts made.
Well, next year.
Next year I will.
Uh, okay|[ Chuckles .]
Let's go.
You'll ask Casey what it|means to drop from the|first to the second round.
-- He'll tell me.
|-- Yes.
Then you'll ask about|the Higgins-Ferris test.
-- And he'll tell me.
|-- Yes.
-- Let me ask you|a question.
|-- Yeah? -- Why isn't he asking me?|-- Danny No, I mean, why am I always|the one who -- who asks, and he's always|the one who knows? You're not always|the one, Danny.
My assignments are very even.
|What's more, you know that.
Not today.
Dave: 10 seconds live.
|-- Today I'm pissed at you, and I'm in no mood to|make you look smart.
You|don't like it, lump it.
-- Natalie|-- Take it down the road|and dump it.
Here we go! Hey, we're doing the, uh -- -- Yeah.
|-- Okay.
In 32 We're back.
One of the stories|we've been tracking today is the fall of|quarterback Ryan O'Brian, the fifth-year senior|out of Clemson and the runner-up for|this year's Heisman Trophy.
O'Brian was projected as a|middle to late first-round pick.
Here we are|in the second round, and Ryan|and the O'Brian family are still waiting|for the phone to ring.
Casey, tell us,|why should we care? What the hell is he -- -- Why should we care?|-- Yeah.
Well, a drop from|the first round to the second round|represents a loss of millions of dollars|to the player.
Well, that's why Ryan O'Brian|should care.
-- I'm asking|why we should care.
|-- Ah.
We're doing it on our show.
|There must be a reason we think our viewers|should or might care that this 22-year-old|quarterback from Clemson's gonna make only|$3 million his first year|instead of $5 million.
Well, l, uh Good answer, Casey.
We're gonna go to|Callie Gathers at the Garden.
Maybe she can help us out.
|Callie? -- We're out.
|Callie: Thanks, Dan.
Here's|the latest on Ryan O'Brian.
-- What the hell was that?|-- Look No, I mean, what the hell|are you doing, Danny? I'm sorry.
I'm really sorry, Casey.
|That -- that was over the line.
I'm really sorry.
|Please Dave: 10 seconds live.
Let's get it back.
Yeah, okay.
-- Yeah.
|[ Clears throat .]
|-- It's all right.
Dave: In 32 Thank you, Callie Gathers.
We'll be bringing you more|on the fall of Ryan O'Brian as well as all|the second-round picks for this --|CSC's extended live coverage of Draft Day 2000.
I'm Dan Rydell|alongside Casey McCall,|and we'll be back.
I wouldn't lie to you.
We're out.
[ Rock music plays .]
" Yes.
You're dating a porn star? It might rain|at lndian Wells.
-- If it does, we stay on the|air for the second round.
|-- I'm not staying on the air.
You know, Casey, I'm getting|a little tired of you being senior camp counselor|around here.
Hey, you know what?|If you're not here,|then I can't use you.
-- When did I become|Ed McMahon to you?|-- No, you're not, and|you know it, all right? But I need to be able|to do my show.
-- And when did|it become your show?|-- Come on, we're on the air.
I'm transferring live footage|to your monitors.
Take a look.
It's raining|at lndian Wells.
Casey:|A 6'7", 325-pound tackle|out of Oregon State, Anthony Papajohn,|goes to Tampa Bay with the 22nd pick|in the first round.
Dan, I'm told at the|Scouting Combine last winter that Papajohn ran|the 40-yard dash in 4.
4 seconds.
That's pretty fast|for somebody his size.
That's pretty fast for|someone anyone's size, though I suppose|any play designed for an offensive lineman|to run 40 yards is probably ill-conceived.
Let's go back to the Garden,|[ Door opens .]
where Kelly Kirkpatrick|is standing by live.
Kelly? Fire me.
What? Fire me.
Do it now.
-- Why?|- I'm a bad worker.
-- No, you're not.
|-- I come late, I leave early.
You come early|and you stay late.
You come in on|your days off.
And isn't that|a little weird? Oh, yeah.
Well, then, enough's|enough, Isaac.
Fire me.
I'm not firing you.
I say things behind your back.
No, you don't.
It's behind your back, lsaac.
There's no way you'd know.
It'd get back to me.
No, these things are|too terrible, and I can't live|with the guilt.
I'll save you the trouble|of firing me and simply offer|my resignation.
-- I won't accept it.
|-- You have to accept it.
You have a contract.
-- Then fire me.
|-- No.
I'm a racist.
Really? Yeah, I'm a terrible|racist, but I've been in|the closet all these years, and I've decided I need|to live an honest life.
And I think all those people|with the different skin colors|and the funny accents should go back|where they came from and leave America|to the white people who killed the lndians|in the first place --|which they deserved.
-- Jeremy|-- The whole country's|being taken over by|the blacks and the Jews.
-- You're Jewish.
|-- Well, I've got|to be stopped, lsaac.
Jeremy, what is the matter|with you? I'm totally screwed! Jeremy:|I'm totally screwed.
Isaac: Porn star problems?|-- Yes.
-- She's coming here?|-- Yes.
-- This afternoon?|-- Yes.
Natalie doesn't know|about her yet? She knows I'm seeing someone.
But she doesn't know|it's a porn star.
Do we have to|call her a porn star? Can we call her an adult-film|actress or simply Jenny? Is it important|that we say "porn star" as many times as possible? Can we have a civilization,|for crying out loud? Okay, okay,|you're freaking out again.
Yes.
Why'd you ask Jenny|to come here? I wanted to demonstrate|to her that I have no problem|with who she is or what she does|for a living, that I can bring her|to my workplace, my place of business, and introduce her to my friends|with my head held high, with no puritanical|judgments, that it's her and me and let|the rest of the world be damned|if they don't like it.
I told her to come here|today so she could see I'm not the person|she thinks I am.
And? I'm exactly the person|she thinks I am.
Well, that's not too bad.
I told her to|come here at 3:00, knowing we'd be done|with the first-round coverage by midday and Natalie|would be gone by then.
You know the only thing|that could foil my plan? Yeah, if it started to rain|at lndian Wells.
-- How can it be raining|at lndian Wells?|-- Maybe it's the rainy season.
Indian Wells|is a desert, lsaac.
If deserts had a rainy|season, they'd be|called something else.
Fair point.
I also told Natalie that|Jenny is a choreo-animator.
What's a choreo-animator? Someone who choreographs|the dances in cartoons.
-- You mean like the hippos|in Fantasia?|-- Yeah.
That's a great job.
Nothing wrong with being|a choreo-animator.
Right, except she's not|a choreo-animator, -- she's a porn star.
|-- Damn! You're telling me|these people can't|play tennis in the rain? Well, those are clay courts|out there.
And I think probably|the ball would lose|a little bounce coming off the mud.
Net game, net game,|net game! Whatever happened|to the fundamentals?! For the love of God, a little|civilization is all I ask! -- Jeremy|-- Right.
So Fire me.
Sorry, kid, you're too good.
|I need you here.
What if I stand|right in your office and look you in the eye|and call you Sambo? [ Laughs .]
Thanks for stopping by,|Jeremy.
You crack me up.
-- I didn't sell it.
|-- No.
How do the real racists|do it? It's too late for you, son.
You got to be taught|by your parents.
I suppose.
Go back to work.
Yes, sir.
Casey: Offensive tackle|Anthony Papajohn taken by Tampa Bay|with the 22nd pick.
Pittsburgh's on the clock.
|We're gonna take a quick break.
You're watching live coverage|of Draft Day 2000 right here on CSC,|so stick around.
We're out.
-- That was funny before --|-- Yeah? About if a lineman|has to run 40 yards, this play was probably|ill-conceived.
Thanks.
-- Look, Danny|-- Drop dead.
You owe me an apology,|jackass.
And until I get one,|keep your reviews to yourself.
I'm sorry.
-- Yeah?|-- I'm very sorry.
I don't think you are.
I am.
In fact, I'm so sorry,|it's almost hard for me to think of different ways|to say "bite me.
" I think you've come up with|quite enough for one day.
Oh, no, no, no, no,|I don't think I have.
Look, can we continue this|conversation someplace else? No, I want to stay out here,|Casey.
I don't want to miss a precious moment|of Draft Day 2000.
[ Sighs .]
Would you get|your ass back here? You understand when you|throw a hissy fit 'cause a rainout at|lndian Wells means you|got to work longer, you send seismic shock waves|through an organization full of people who are under|the impression we all enjoy|doing this together? It's not part of my job|to make sure everybody's|having a good time, okay? If it is,|I need to be paid more.
I manage to do it whether|it's a part of my job or not.
Maybe that's 'cause|you are paid more.
Well, I'm paid considerably|more, Danny.
Is that what you want|to talk about? Well, excuse me|for finding it baffling.
We do the exact same work.
|I write half the show.
|You write half the show.
Well, maybe it's|because who knows when|you're gonna decide you'd rather play 18 holes|than anchor team coverage? God, Casey, aren't you|interested in having any life|at all outside the studio? Not really, but when l|do decide to step out, will you be the one to|show me how it goes, 'cause|your life's so hot, Danny? We didn't have enough|to fight about -- you|had to bring up the money? Sorry.
Was I bringing|you down on Draft Day 2000? Why don't you go|into the control room|and pick up the troops? That will make you|feel better.
You know what? I'm a|capitalist like everyone|else in this country, and I'm paid exactly|what the market will bear.
My agent asks for an amount,|and that's what they pay me, 'cause they know|if they don't,|somebody else will.
You ask for the same thing,|they won't pay it to you|because nobody else will.
Meaning? You came with me.
|Deal with it.
Dave: In 10.
|-- [ Scoffs .]
I know it's real hard taking off|that Eagle Scout uniform, 'cause you look|so snappy in it, but I never wanted|your help, I never needed your|help, and God knows|I never asked for it.
Yeah, bite me.
In 32 Welcome back.
|Pittsburgh still has two minutes and change|before they announce their first pick of the draft,|who very likely will be My man Lashon.
Lashon be the mon --|Lashon Tarrington of the Florida State|Seminoles, the wide receiver|drafted out of FSU.
-- What were the odds?|-- Very good indeed.
-- You know, I came this close|to being drafted as|a wide receiver?|-- Really? What happened? Well, I never actually|played organized ball.
-- Ah.
|-- And even if I had,|I wasn't fast enough|to be a wide receiver.
-- But other than that|-- This close, my friend.
Pittsburgh's made|their selection.
Let's go to the Garden|for the commissioner's|announcement.
Go one.
Desk at standby.
I am so happy in my T-shirt.
|I really am.
And I know|you'd all be happy, too, if you were wearing yours.
I got a whole sack|of T-shirts back in my office.
-- Dana, Elliot has something|he'd like to say.
|-- Yeah? No, I don't.
-- Yes, you do.
|Dana: Guys? -- You're driving him nutsy|with the T-shirts.
|-- Really? I, on the other hand,|would like one.
-- Oh, me too.
|-- I'd like a T-shirt as well.
-- Suck-ups.
|-- [ Laughs .]
-- Yes, indeed.
|-- Give me a T-shirt.
Give me one, too.
|I'll make it look good.
Ah, I'll go get the bag.
I'll go with you.
You see? I got them|wearing T-shirts.
Ha ha! Tell me I don't|have leadership skills.
So, it is confirmed,|by the way.
-- Yeah?|-- Jeremy's seeing|someone new.
That's what I'd heard.
Well, now it's confirmed.
Yeah?|You know what she does? As a matter of fact, I do.
|She's a professional|choreo-animator.
She teaches dances|to cartoon characters? She doesn't teach them.
|She makes them up.
-- Of course.
|-- Then she demonstrates them|to the animators, who draw -- Oh, who the hell cares?|He's over me.
Oh, not so fast.
|This is a rebound girl while the two of you|take a break.
No, this is what he wanted.
A choreo-animator -- could anything be|more symbolic? -- Natalie|-- We broke up fundamentally|'cause I wanted to experience|more of the world, and he was happy|with what he had.
Now he can spend|the rest of his life with the cartoon characters that graced the walls|of his boyhood bedroom during what I'm sure|was a very safe|and happy childhood.
Cartoon characters graced the|walls of his boyhood bedroom? How the hell do I know, Dana?|I'm speaking metaphorically.
Oh, well, you should let me|know when you do that.
I don't understand.
|You just fell down? -- Yes.
|-- How did you fall down? I don't know.
|I was at home -- How did you fall down|so that you only hurt|that part of your face? I didn't trace|the trajectory or anything.
I just -- boop --|fell down.
Mm-hmm.
Pittsburgh took|Simon Marcus.
That's not what they need.
They're gonna turn him|into what they need.
We're gonna be back.
|Let's go.
-- Oh, Dana, the T-shirts.
|-- Yeah? The T-shirts.
[ Elevator bell dings .]
Why don't you tell|her these are special|circumstances? -- Yeah?|-- Special circumstances.
|It's your ex-girlfriend.
You made up a story 'cause|you knew how hurt she'd|be if she knew the truth.
Well, that's great,|except it's not true.
Well, who cares?|It's special circumstances.
I didn't make up|the story for Natalie.
I made it up for everybody.
Anyway|special circumstances.
"Hi, I made up this story|about you 'cause the whole idea of you|embarrasses me.
" What kind of man|does that to a woman? What, you don't think|guys have done that|to her before? I know they have.
|That's the point.
She shouldn't ever have to|deal with that again, not ever.
It's cheap, it's shoddy,|it's something less than right.
Well, sounds like|you're ready to go for it.
I am, I absolutely am.
|I mean, if not now, when? If not me, then who? Later and somebody else.
If you could see her face.
By the way, when I do,|am I gonna be able|to recognize her? -- I don't know.
|-- Two minutes back.
Oh, we're|coming around again.
|I got to get back in.
Okay.
I'll see you inside.
[ Elevator bell dings .]
Hey, sport.
Hey.
-- You look fantastic.
|I mean, fantastic.
|-- Thank you.
I do? Really, l-I mean,|your taste in clothes -- It's bluejeans|and a sweatshirt.
Well, you must know the|special shops or something|'cause this outfit Jeremy, what have you done? It's kind of|a complicated question.
Well, I'm a pretty|smart girl, Jeremy.
Why don't you|run it by me? Well, I believe you are|worthy of nothing less|than total honesty.
There is nothing about|your life that anyone|need snicker at, and anybody who does,|I certainly have no use for.
Nor is there|anything about your life|that I feel ashamed of.
So, I have told everybody|the absolute truth.
-- Really?|-- Yes Except -- no.
What am l? A choreo-animator.
A choreo-animator? Yes.
I make up dances|for cartoon characters? -- Yes.
|-- I'm going home.
Please don't.
-- Why?|-- Special circumstances.
-- Jeremy|-- N-No, special circumstances.
-- Jenny, I meant everything|I said there before.
|-- [ Sighs .]
I really do feel that way,|but you got to appreciate|that this isn't easy.
You've gotta appreciate|that it isn't easy|for people to hear, and it isn't easy|for me to say.
But I'm trying hard.
I'm not doing that well,|but I'm trying hard, and you got to acknowledge|that that's something.
[ Elevator bell dings .]
Let's go.
You really do|look fantastic.
-- Shut up.
|-- Absolutely.
Dan: And that's what|they were looking for.
Kendall Gates,|the Wolverines'|all-time record-holding pass-catching tight end|from Tuskegee, will be trading in the maize|and blue of Michigan for the silver and black|of Oakland as the 5th pick|of the second round.
-- I don't understand.
|You just fell?|-- Yes.
Well, how do you fall so that that's the only|part of your face that you hit? Practice.
Natalie, Ryan O'Brian has been|passed up by 31 teams.
He's not going|to Arizona, either.
Why don't you put together|some stuff for Dan and|Casey to talk about? -- lt'll take a few minutes.
|-- Go.
This is the newsroom.
It's very cool.
I know.
|This is a girl, everybody.
Her name is Jenny.
|This is our third date.
No one asked me|what you did for a living.
For surely if they had,|I'd have told them.
Mm-hmm.
|Where's Natalie? -- Huh?|-- Doesn't Natalie|work in the newsroom? Oh, not during showtime.
During showtime, that|girl is glued to her|seat in the control room.
-- Hey, Jeremy.
|-- And there's no civilization|to be found on the planet.
You must be Jenny.
-- Natalie.
|-- Good to meet you.
-- I hope I'm not in the way.
|-- Not at all.
Make sure|you get the whole tour.
Okay, civilization lives.
-- Is it true|you're a choreo-animator?|-- Yes.
That's really interesting.
|How did you get into that? -- Uh, it's --|-- Nat, who's on the clock? Oakland, then Seattle.
|And Ryan O'Brian.
This is a guy|who was supposed to go|in the first round then fell to the second|and still hasn't gone.
-- And Dana wants to feed|something to Dan and Casey.
|-- So you gotta go.
|We totally understand.
-- Actually, I was gonna|give it to you.
|-- Farming out assignments,|Natalie? Should you be shirking your|responsibilities like that? My responsibilities are|to farm out assignments.
Right.
Okay, sitting right|here tight at my desk, where I will put together|material on Ryan O'Brian.
And if you two stand|right there, I'll be in earshot|should anything happen.
How did you become|a choreo-animator? Well, believe it or not, I'd come to New York|on a dance scholarship, actually, to study|at Juilliard, um, but I had people back home|who needed money, and I could always draw.
And, uh, a guy offered me|money one time to draw,|and I did.
And so that's|what I do now.
I'll think about you|every time I see all the fish dancing|in The Little Mermaid.
Yeah, I'm proud of that one.
Jeremy --|uh, Ryan O'Brian.
-- Huh?|-- Dan and Casey are gonna|need it for the 10 block.
Yeah.
[ Both chuckle .]
She's sweet.
Why did you|break up with her? -- Can I talk to you|in there for a second?|-- Yeah.
Why didn't you|tell me that before? Is this Dan|and Casey's office? Yeah.
Why didn't you|tell me that before? -- It's pretty small.
|-- Jenny Television isn't|as glamorous on the other|side of the camera, -- but l, of all people,|should know that.
|-- Damn it.
You never asked, Jeremy, and I don't go through life|singing my sad song so people|won't mind me so much.
Jeremy, did Natalie|ask you -- Ryan O'Brian.
I'm on it.
-- Hi.
|-- Hi.
-- I'm Dana Whitaker.
|-- Hi, Dana.
Dana, we were just|in the middle of something.
-- Ryan O'Brian?|-- I'll get you the stuff.
Why do you suppose|he's dropping so -- Because he flunked|the Higgins-Ferris test|at the Combine.
He can't read defenses.
He's got the arm, he can|move out of the pocket, but he can't read Dr.
Seuss,|much less a nickel zone.
|I will get you the stuff.
Okay.
-- You're a choreo-animator?|-- Yes.
-- Dana|-- Tell me something.
When the hippos|in Fantasia -- She's not a choreo-animator.
|She's a porn star.
You got a problem with that? No.
Okay, then.
I will get you|the stuff on O'Brian.
Okay.
See that? You see|what I just did? Jeremy, you did not|hear what I said.
-- No, I did.
|-- Look, I don't want what|happened, how I got here -- I don't want to have to -- I am perfectly at peace|with what I do.
-- And I am at peace|with what you do, too.
|-- No, you're not.
No, no, I'm not, but I can|get there.
I really can.
I can try, and l|can get used to it.
I mean, you gotta remember,|with any two people, it's gonna be hard,|but these -- I mean, you -- these are special|circumstances, if ever there were.
But I like you|so much, Jenny, and it's only|our third date.
I like you so much,|and I am telling you the day will come|when I'm at peace, and until then,|I'm just gonna try.
It's not good enough for me.
Okay.
So long.
[ Pills rattle in bottle .]
[ Sighs .]
Hey.
-- [ Gasps .]
|-- Oh, sorry.
Oh, you scared me.
Sorry.
I should give you|that 100 bucks now.
There's still 21 picks|left in the second round.
I missed five.
|Did you get Rofofsky? -- Yeah.
|-- Have you missed any so far? -- No.
|-- I gotta get back.
|[ Chuckles .]
Dana, I'm not saying|you've got the physical grace -- of a cougar or anything|-- Look but you don't just fall down.
-- My skin breaks out.
|-- I know.
I was there in college|and that time in L.
A.
It's a recurring|nervous condition.
What happened? [ Chuckles .]
|It recurred.
What are you nervous about? Idon't know.
Is it the show? I|[ Sighs .]
[ Exhales sharply .]
really don't know.
Look, don't worry about me|and Danny, all right? Oh, I could kill him|sometimes.
He blew off|the golf game.
He stayed|for the second round.
I'm supposed to|consider that magnanimous? Nobut don't worry|about it.
-- They put together some|stuff on Ryan O'Brian for you.
|-- Yeah.
Give us a 30-,|45-second intro, then throw it to Callie|at the Garden.
She'll do a quick stand-up,|then right back to you.
-- This set?|-- Yeah.
Okay.
So don't worry|about it.
I should have had|more T-shirts made.
Well, next year.
Next year I will.
Uh, okay|[ Chuckles .]
Let's go.
You'll ask Casey what it|means to drop from the|first to the second round.
-- He'll tell me.
|-- Yes.
Then you'll ask about|the Higgins-Ferris test.
-- And he'll tell me.
|-- Yes.
-- Let me ask you|a question.
|-- Yeah? -- Why isn't he asking me?|-- Danny No, I mean, why am I always|the one who -- who asks, and he's always|the one who knows? You're not always|the one, Danny.
My assignments are very even.
|What's more, you know that.
Not today.
Dave: 10 seconds live.
|-- Today I'm pissed at you, and I'm in no mood to|make you look smart.
You|don't like it, lump it.
-- Natalie|-- Take it down the road|and dump it.
Here we go! Hey, we're doing the, uh -- -- Yeah.
|-- Okay.
In 32 We're back.
One of the stories|we've been tracking today is the fall of|quarterback Ryan O'Brian, the fifth-year senior|out of Clemson and the runner-up for|this year's Heisman Trophy.
O'Brian was projected as a|middle to late first-round pick.
Here we are|in the second round, and Ryan|and the O'Brian family are still waiting|for the phone to ring.
Casey, tell us,|why should we care? What the hell is he -- -- Why should we care?|-- Yeah.
Well, a drop from|the first round to the second round|represents a loss of millions of dollars|to the player.
Well, that's why Ryan O'Brian|should care.
-- I'm asking|why we should care.
|-- Ah.
We're doing it on our show.
|There must be a reason we think our viewers|should or might care that this 22-year-old|quarterback from Clemson's gonna make only|$3 million his first year|instead of $5 million.
Well, l, uh Good answer, Casey.
We're gonna go to|Callie Gathers at the Garden.
Maybe she can help us out.
|Callie? -- We're out.
|Callie: Thanks, Dan.
Here's|the latest on Ryan O'Brian.
-- What the hell was that?|-- Look No, I mean, what the hell|are you doing, Danny? I'm sorry.
I'm really sorry, Casey.
|That -- that was over the line.
I'm really sorry.
|Please Dave: 10 seconds live.
Let's get it back.
Yeah, okay.
-- Yeah.
|[ Clears throat .]
|-- It's all right.
Dave: In 32 Thank you, Callie Gathers.
We'll be bringing you more|on the fall of Ryan O'Brian as well as all|the second-round picks for this --|CSC's extended live coverage of Draft Day 2000.
I'm Dan Rydell|alongside Casey McCall,|and we'll be back.
I wouldn't lie to you.
We're out.
[ Rock music plays .]