Star vs. the Forces of Evil (2015) s02e18 Episode Script
Crystal Clear, The Hard Way
1 [" I'm from Another Dimension" by Brad Breeck plays.]
It's gonna get a little weird Gonna get a little wild I ain't from 'round here I'm from another dimension Gonna get a little weird Gonna have a good time I ain't from 'round here I'm from another woo-hoo Yeh-heah I'm talking rainbows I'm talking puppies Pa, pa, pa, pa, pa, pa, pa Paaa It's gonna get a little weird Gonna get a little wild I ain't from 'round here I'm from another dimension [snoring.]
"Don't touch! I will find out!" Sure you will, Marco.
Sure you will.
[chuckles.]
[clank.]
[growls.]
[straining.]
Unh! [click.]
Uh Really? [groans.]
All right.
One and two.
Thanks for nothin'.
Chancellor Lekmet! [bleats.]
My liege.
I come bearing an offering of great momentousness, should it please thee.
[bleats.]
Uh, well, it's kinda heavy.
I was hoping that thee could come down here to see it.
[sighs.]
[chair whirring.]
[shorting.]
Oh, dang! Is that on the fritz, too? Hang on, I've got you.
So, um, speaking of the interdimensional fritz? Baaaa? I've been doing some digging on my own, and, uh, I think I've found what's causing it.
[bleats.]
Stay right there.
I present to you the source of the fritz.
Baaaa! Evidence? I've got your evidence right here.
My gut told me she's evil, so I took her out.
Boom! No more fritz.
[weary bleating.]
Yeah, I know, she's Queen Butterfly's daughter, but [bleats.]
Okay, that kinda hurt.
I-I know it came from a good place, you know, but Okay, Chancellor, for the record, we had nothing to do with this.
[grunts, pants.]
Yeah, we told him it was a horrible plan, but Rockhead here didn't wanna hear it.
He never listens to us! But he would listen to you, Lekmet! - Tell him, Chancellor! - Tell him! [bleating.]
Okay, everybody, just calm down! Why don't you sit? I'll grab you a glass of warm milk, and then we can talk this out like rational people.
[bleating.]
Shoot! I forgot I put him there.
Okay, so I actually don't know who this is.
A servant maybe? A very tall dwarf? But he's definitely evil.
Gut's honor.
[bleats.]
[snorts.]
You'll what? Please don't call the Magical High Commission.
[bleats.]
You You think we should make other living arrangements? [bleats.]
Uh-huh.
But who's gonna take care of you? [grumbling bleat.]
Lekmet, no.
Stop! Please! [sighs.]
You'll ruin everything! Stop! Stop! [beeping.]
Guuuuhh! Dude! You just crystallized the High Chancellor! Do you have any idea how much trouble we are in?! Stop yelling at me! Look, I just really need a win right now.
I mean, you guys are my hands! You're supposed to be on my side! Can't you just [sighs.]
Hey I bet a few reps would clear your head.
Huh.
You know, that's not a bad idea.
Bench presses, couple of biceps curls.
Hmm? What are you lookin' at? Huh? What? No! Uh! Hey! [beeping.]
Hyah! Ohh! [grunting.]
Eee! Yah! [panting.]
Oh, man Oh, geez! [whimpering.]
[gasps.]
You! I know you're the source! I can feel it! Huh? - Why did you cause the fritz?! - Aaaah! No! No no no no! [screaming stops.]
I really just can't take any more yelling today.
Princess! My name is Rhombulus.
I work with your mom, and I need you - to answer one question.
- Rhombulus? Ohh, ohh! [chuckles.]
You're the time-out guy.
What? Who calls me that? I bet it's Glossaryck, isn't it? Omnitraxus calls you that, too.
And my mom and dad.
Really all of the members of the Magic High Commission call you that.
- "Time-out guy.
" - Ohh, never mind! - Why are you causing the fritz? - What's the fritz? The leak.
The reason why nothing's working up here? - [mumbles.]
I don't know.
- Oh! Something has been draining the power of magic from the universe.
See? Crystal orbs are down.
And then there's the Green Hole over there.
[droning.]
Yeah, that part definitely looks broken.
And look at the crystal I trapped Lekmet in.
This stuff used to be hard as diamonds.
Now it's like rock candy or something.
I'm sorry your powers are all crazy, but it's not me.
You have to be the source! You see all these guys? My gut told me they were evil, so I crystalized them.
There's Zedlord, who blew up an entire planet.
Astrobell and the black hole she created.
Stopped that one just in time.
Oh, and then there's pizza delivery guy.
Delivered the pizza to the wrong address.
Then, of course, I am most proud of the evil twins John and Jack.
They're pretty hard to tell apart, but one of them was definitely evil.
This is what I do.
I find the source of evil, and I encase it in crystal forever.
So your snake hands, they're evil, too? What? No.
They're my hands.
What about my friend, Marco? What did he do, exactly? - Oh, him? Well - And what about that old goat man? Is he evil? [scoffs.]
There's nothing evil about Lekmet.
He's the most pure-hearted, hard-working angel goat demon there ever was.
Well, why did you crystallize him then? Hmm? Look, time-out guy, I think you need to think stuff through a little more before you rely on your gut.
It's making you crystallize innocent people.
Maybe you're right.
I thought I could trust you, gut! [grunting.]
[shouting angrily.]
[crystals shattering.]
I'm free! [panting.]
[grumbling.]
I've been wrong about everything lately.
The commission thinks I'm a joke.
I thought if I could find the source of the fritz, my hands and I could earn the appreciation of the Magical High Commission again.
Huh? - Aw, man.
- I actually crystallized Lekmet.
And I love Lekmet! [sobbing.]
Ooh, pretty! I'm gonna be in time-out for the next ten thousand years.
Glossaryck is gonna have a field day with that.
Let me tell you.
Ah, I wouldn't worry 'bout him.
He's not coming back.
What? Glossaryck's gone? Oh! [chuckles.]
Uh, yeah Glossaryck's gone? This is amazing! I mean, it's actually really bad.
[chuckling.]
But it's good for me.
But, yeah, wow.
That's bad news for the universe.
Why? The thing about Glossaryck is he may be a jerk, but he's the most powerful all-knowing magic jerk in the universe.
That's why I can never win an argument with him.
He's just so hard to deal with, right? Even when I tried to rescue him, he didn't want to come back.
You know that fancy crystal in his head? I gave it to him! But did he ever thank me? No.
Every time we got donuts, he just sat on them.
[sighs.]
What a waste of donuts.
You know, I made some donuts for a meeting yesterday, and I think there's some left over.
Uh you want any? Ooh.
You know, you shouldn't feel so down on yourself, Rhombulus.
Your crystals are really pretty.
[clinks.]
Ah! - Close your eyes for a minute.
- Okay.
- Now open! - Oh.
Here.
Ooh! Is that evil twin Jack? It could be.
Either way, I want you to have it.
Thank you, Rhombulus.
So, I guess you've got to turn me in, right? I mean, crystallizing the princess is kind of a big deal.
Uh, not necessarily.
Okay, look, if you don't tell the Magic High Commission about Glossaryck or the Magic Book of Spells and how I lost both of them, then I won't tell them about this.
[clink clink.]
Really? - Yeah.
- Deal.
What about the old goat man? Well, don't worry about him.
I'm the only one who can understand what he says.
Also I need my socks back.
[straining.]
[grunts.]
Ooh, phew.
Hey.
Thank you, Princess.
W-w-w-wait! You still gotta unfreeze him.
Oh, yeah.
- Ow! - Good morning, Marco! Star? What happened? You were in this ice cube.
And there was this big guy, and he had a big square head! [laughs.]
What a funny dream, Marco.
Mmm! Blech! Were these on the floor? I think Earth is a pretty great place That's saying something 'Cause I've been through outer space I think it suits me its just my style I think I'm gonna stay a little while I think that strangers are just friends you haven't met I'm blasting monsters and I never break a sweat I'm really thinking I can call this place home!
It's gonna get a little weird Gonna get a little wild I ain't from 'round here I'm from another dimension Gonna get a little weird Gonna have a good time I ain't from 'round here I'm from another woo-hoo Yeh-heah I'm talking rainbows I'm talking puppies Pa, pa, pa, pa, pa, pa, pa Paaa It's gonna get a little weird Gonna get a little wild I ain't from 'round here I'm from another dimension [snoring.]
"Don't touch! I will find out!" Sure you will, Marco.
Sure you will.
[chuckles.]
[clank.]
[growls.]
[straining.]
Unh! [click.]
Uh Really? [groans.]
All right.
One and two.
Thanks for nothin'.
Chancellor Lekmet! [bleats.]
My liege.
I come bearing an offering of great momentousness, should it please thee.
[bleats.]
Uh, well, it's kinda heavy.
I was hoping that thee could come down here to see it.
[sighs.]
[chair whirring.]
[shorting.]
Oh, dang! Is that on the fritz, too? Hang on, I've got you.
So, um, speaking of the interdimensional fritz? Baaaa? I've been doing some digging on my own, and, uh, I think I've found what's causing it.
[bleats.]
Stay right there.
I present to you the source of the fritz.
Baaaa! Evidence? I've got your evidence right here.
My gut told me she's evil, so I took her out.
Boom! No more fritz.
[weary bleating.]
Yeah, I know, she's Queen Butterfly's daughter, but [bleats.]
Okay, that kinda hurt.
I-I know it came from a good place, you know, but Okay, Chancellor, for the record, we had nothing to do with this.
[grunts, pants.]
Yeah, we told him it was a horrible plan, but Rockhead here didn't wanna hear it.
He never listens to us! But he would listen to you, Lekmet! - Tell him, Chancellor! - Tell him! [bleating.]
Okay, everybody, just calm down! Why don't you sit? I'll grab you a glass of warm milk, and then we can talk this out like rational people.
[bleating.]
Shoot! I forgot I put him there.
Okay, so I actually don't know who this is.
A servant maybe? A very tall dwarf? But he's definitely evil.
Gut's honor.
[bleats.]
[snorts.]
You'll what? Please don't call the Magical High Commission.
[bleats.]
You You think we should make other living arrangements? [bleats.]
Uh-huh.
But who's gonna take care of you? [grumbling bleat.]
Lekmet, no.
Stop! Please! [sighs.]
You'll ruin everything! Stop! Stop! [beeping.]
Guuuuhh! Dude! You just crystallized the High Chancellor! Do you have any idea how much trouble we are in?! Stop yelling at me! Look, I just really need a win right now.
I mean, you guys are my hands! You're supposed to be on my side! Can't you just [sighs.]
Hey I bet a few reps would clear your head.
Huh.
You know, that's not a bad idea.
Bench presses, couple of biceps curls.
Hmm? What are you lookin' at? Huh? What? No! Uh! Hey! [beeping.]
Hyah! Ohh! [grunting.]
Eee! Yah! [panting.]
Oh, man Oh, geez! [whimpering.]
[gasps.]
You! I know you're the source! I can feel it! Huh? - Why did you cause the fritz?! - Aaaah! No! No no no no! [screaming stops.]
I really just can't take any more yelling today.
Princess! My name is Rhombulus.
I work with your mom, and I need you - to answer one question.
- Rhombulus? Ohh, ohh! [chuckles.]
You're the time-out guy.
What? Who calls me that? I bet it's Glossaryck, isn't it? Omnitraxus calls you that, too.
And my mom and dad.
Really all of the members of the Magic High Commission call you that.
- "Time-out guy.
" - Ohh, never mind! - Why are you causing the fritz? - What's the fritz? The leak.
The reason why nothing's working up here? - [mumbles.]
I don't know.
- Oh! Something has been draining the power of magic from the universe.
See? Crystal orbs are down.
And then there's the Green Hole over there.
[droning.]
Yeah, that part definitely looks broken.
And look at the crystal I trapped Lekmet in.
This stuff used to be hard as diamonds.
Now it's like rock candy or something.
I'm sorry your powers are all crazy, but it's not me.
You have to be the source! You see all these guys? My gut told me they were evil, so I crystalized them.
There's Zedlord, who blew up an entire planet.
Astrobell and the black hole she created.
Stopped that one just in time.
Oh, and then there's pizza delivery guy.
Delivered the pizza to the wrong address.
Then, of course, I am most proud of the evil twins John and Jack.
They're pretty hard to tell apart, but one of them was definitely evil.
This is what I do.
I find the source of evil, and I encase it in crystal forever.
So your snake hands, they're evil, too? What? No.
They're my hands.
What about my friend, Marco? What did he do, exactly? - Oh, him? Well - And what about that old goat man? Is he evil? [scoffs.]
There's nothing evil about Lekmet.
He's the most pure-hearted, hard-working angel goat demon there ever was.
Well, why did you crystallize him then? Hmm? Look, time-out guy, I think you need to think stuff through a little more before you rely on your gut.
It's making you crystallize innocent people.
Maybe you're right.
I thought I could trust you, gut! [grunting.]
[shouting angrily.]
[crystals shattering.]
I'm free! [panting.]
[grumbling.]
I've been wrong about everything lately.
The commission thinks I'm a joke.
I thought if I could find the source of the fritz, my hands and I could earn the appreciation of the Magical High Commission again.
Huh? - Aw, man.
- I actually crystallized Lekmet.
And I love Lekmet! [sobbing.]
Ooh, pretty! I'm gonna be in time-out for the next ten thousand years.
Glossaryck is gonna have a field day with that.
Let me tell you.
Ah, I wouldn't worry 'bout him.
He's not coming back.
What? Glossaryck's gone? Oh! [chuckles.]
Uh, yeah Glossaryck's gone? This is amazing! I mean, it's actually really bad.
[chuckling.]
But it's good for me.
But, yeah, wow.
That's bad news for the universe.
Why? The thing about Glossaryck is he may be a jerk, but he's the most powerful all-knowing magic jerk in the universe.
That's why I can never win an argument with him.
He's just so hard to deal with, right? Even when I tried to rescue him, he didn't want to come back.
You know that fancy crystal in his head? I gave it to him! But did he ever thank me? No.
Every time we got donuts, he just sat on them.
[sighs.]
What a waste of donuts.
You know, I made some donuts for a meeting yesterday, and I think there's some left over.
Uh you want any? Ooh.
You know, you shouldn't feel so down on yourself, Rhombulus.
Your crystals are really pretty.
[clinks.]
Ah! - Close your eyes for a minute.
- Okay.
- Now open! - Oh.
Here.
Ooh! Is that evil twin Jack? It could be.
Either way, I want you to have it.
Thank you, Rhombulus.
So, I guess you've got to turn me in, right? I mean, crystallizing the princess is kind of a big deal.
Uh, not necessarily.
Okay, look, if you don't tell the Magic High Commission about Glossaryck or the Magic Book of Spells and how I lost both of them, then I won't tell them about this.
[clink clink.]
Really? - Yeah.
- Deal.
What about the old goat man? Well, don't worry about him.
I'm the only one who can understand what he says.
Also I need my socks back.
[straining.]
[grunts.]
Ooh, phew.
Hey.
Thank you, Princess.
W-w-w-wait! You still gotta unfreeze him.
Oh, yeah.
- Ow! - Good morning, Marco! Star? What happened? You were in this ice cube.
And there was this big guy, and he had a big square head! [laughs.]
What a funny dream, Marco.
Mmm! Blech! Were these on the floor? I think Earth is a pretty great place That's saying something 'Cause I've been through outer space I think it suits me its just my style I think I'm gonna stay a little while I think that strangers are just friends you haven't met I'm blasting monsters and I never break a sweat I'm really thinking I can call this place home!