The A-Team (1983) s02e18 Episode Script

NARRATOR: In 1972, a crack commando unit was sent to prison by a miIitary court for a crime they didn't commit.
These men promptIy escaped from a maximum-security stockade to the Los AngeIes underground.
Today, stiII wanted by the government, they survive as soIdiers of fortune.
If you have a probIem, if no one eIse can heIp and if you can find them, maybe you can hire the A-Team.
[Theme music.]
[Slow instrumental music.]
MAN: [On Speaker.]
Nineteen.
TweIve.
MAN: [On Speaker.]
Fifty-six.
MlRlAM: Max, that's us.
MlRlAM: Come on 43.
MAN: [On Speaker.]
That's aII.
-That was close.
Sorry, honey.
-Time for one more, Max.
Afraid not.
Gotta head for home, or you'll start hawking your jewellery.
Listen up, folks, the bus is ready to go.
MAX: l did all right.
MlRlAM: You did? MAX: Yes.
MlRlAM: You liar.
Don't worry, folks, we'll be home in time for dinner.
Driver's taking us on a back road.
lt'll be bumpy, but it's an hour shorter.
We'll just eat our candy bars and tell a few jokes.
lt'll be a blast.
MAX: Okay, l guess this is all of us.
Here we go.
Okay, honey.
Sun Dog, this is Fortune, do you read me? Over.
LlLA: Sun Dog, this is Fortune, do you read me? Over.
Fortune, this is Sun Dog, come on.
You've got a freezer heading your way.
-lt's loaded with ice.
-That's a copy, Fortune.
The lceman cometh.
Out.
[Suspenseful instrumental music.]
[Dramatic instrumental music.]
BURKE: We are the Scorpions.
When we sting, you die.
Anyone Ieft in this bus after one minute is gonna get some bad news.
BURKE: Move! [Tense instrumental music.]
BURKE: All right, come on! Move! BURKE: All your money and jewellery in the bag.
FLAGG: You heard him, get the money and jewellery out.
Put it in the bag.
FLAGG: Come on.
Come on, get it off and get it in here.
BURKE: Now, you folks who want to die before you need to just call the police when you get home.
BURKE: Just remember we have your name, address, everything.
BURKE: We will find you.
No! That's her wedding ring, it's of no use to you.
MlRlAM: No, don't.
[Miriam and Max exclaiming.]
HANNlBAL: This is B.
A.
Baracus, l am Hannibal Smith, of the A-Team.
Call them in, B.
A.
Come on in, fellas.
You really showed up.
Max, the A-Team.
l didn't think you guys were real.
Now, you told Mr.
Lee that you thought the Scorpions knew exactly where that bus was going to be? They had to know.
You're not gonna wait around out there, all day, for just anybody to come along.
Why didn't you go to the police? They told us that if we called the police, they would come after us.
So, everybody in that bus was scared to death.
We're all still scared to death.
We figured you would be our only chance.
Nice of you guys to finally call.
We weren't getting any younger out there.
Don't say it.
Mr.
and Mrs.
Klein, you've just hired the A-Team.
That's wonderful.
That's wonderful, Max! MAX: God bless you.
Slow down, B.
A.
Miriam said they hit the bus right around a sign that said highway resumed in 5 miles.
That looks like it.
FACE: Small world.
HANNlBAL: Yeah.
Okay.
Pull up here.
Yeah.
Look at those tracks.
Perfect spot for an ambush.
That bus was a sitting duck.
Right.
And now we're going to check and see if Sid's Oasis is where the old folks were turned into targets.
-l'm close, right? -You knew l was going to say that.
Of course he did.
He's telepathic.
lt's a gift given to all of us thousands of years ago by extraterrestrials.
You know, ''Phone home.
'' Telepathic? You sure it's not just I know Sid's comes before Vegas so why not try there first? That's just the kind of cynical resistance to child-like wonder that's held man back for centuries.
We were looking for vehicles with lots of horsepower, big wheels.
They don't need a road, they make their own.
That means that they could be anywhere around here.
We'll bring them out of the woodwork.
How are we going to leave a trail of crumbs if they've got all this land to hide in? That's easy.
lt's Uncle Ned.
The Neon Natural.
CROUPlER: Eight.
Eight, easy.
-Eight's the number.
-Hard eight.
Hard eight? The only system in craps is the system whereby the house collects all the money.
Now, besides, Hannibal l ought to be rolling the dice.
These hands have had the gift since birth.
With me, it didn't stop at the hands.
[Hannibal exclaiming excitedly.]
Eight.
Two fours.
Eight hard.
Pay the eight.
[Singing.]
[Murdock exclaiming excitedly.]
[Singing.]
Baby you're a rich man Baby you're a rich man Baby you're a rich man now Baby you're a rich man Baby you're a rich man Baby you're a rich man now Baby you're a rich man Baby you're a rich man Baby you're a rich man You're being watched by a gal with L.
Palmer on her name tag.
CROUPlER: Man is hot.
He's got hands, folks.
Get your bets down.
Eleven! Eleven.
Yo lev, winner lev.
Pay the line.
Uncle Ned, Aunt Sophie will have supper waiting.
You know what she did with the beans last time we didn't show.
Let her roll, boy! When a man's on a roll, let him keep rolling.
HANNlBAL: Come on seven! Sev, pay the line.
Nice badge.
You buff it yourself? Yeah, when it needs it.
Let's see the low.
Eleven! CROUPlER: Elev, yo lev.
HANNlBAL: All right.
HANNlBAL: Let her ride! ls he always this lucky? Oh, yeah.
With Uncle Ned, it used to be poker.
He got bored with poker, now it's always craps.
He just loves to throw things.
You're a whoIe Iot nicer than your average pit boss.
Tell you the truth, l wouldn't mind putting all my chips on your number.
l'll just take that as a compliment.
HANNlBAL: Thirty-three! CROUPlER: Six, another winner! CROUPlER: Pay the line.
ls this an official visit? l just came over to see what all the commotion was about.
Somebody get me a tray! l gotta carry all this cash.
Come on, boy.
Time to go.
Time to hit the highway.
l don't know if know anything that can hold all the cash l'm gonna get when l cash these in.
That man always goes home a winner.
Where is home? -Near L.
A.
-Really? Would you like a travel tip? l've never turned down a tip, yet.
There's a back road about 10 miles across the state line.
lt'll hook up with the interstate.
lt'll save you an hour's driving time.
-Ten miles across the state line? -Right.
-Thank you.
l do appreciate it.
-You're welcome.
-l'll see you.
-Bye-bye.
Okay, Mr.
Party Animal.
l have time for one more.
This time, l want the cherries jubilee.
[Screaming excitedly.]
Murdock, let's go.
Please.
You don't have a change purse, do you? You know, something with the face of a squirrel on it.
Murdock, winning isn't everything.
Sun Dog, this is Fortune, come in.
Sun Dog, this is Fortune, come in.
Do you read me? Fortune, this is Sun Dog, come ahead.
You've got a shipment of lettuce heading your way.
LlLA: Be sure it doesn't spoiI.
That's a copy, Fortune.
Over and out.
l think our little floor show will bring out the local critics.
[Upbeat instrumental music.]
Get out of sight, guys.
BURKE: Car trouble? HANNlBAL: No, thanks, we got some.
BURKE: That's real cute.
Get out! BURKE: Give me all the money you're carrying, or die.
Your option.
The money is locked in the back.
Drop your weapons! Okay, Darth.
l'll tell you how it is.
We know where you are, and who you are.
You hit anybody else out here we'll come back and bury you.
HANNlBAL: Meanwhile, we're all going to take a little ride.
Pick up some jeweIIery that beIongs to some friends of ours.
Senior citizens.
HANNlBAL: You hurt an old man named Max and you hurt him right about here.
Grenade! [Dramatic instrumental music.]
Those guys were prepared, Colonel.
Too well prepared.
Grenades.
Smoke.
We're gonna find out why.
FACE: Come on, Hannibal.
There is no way she's gonna believe me going all the way back there just to be friendly.
Not after all this.
She knows what happened out here.
Face, you surprise me.
Where is that indomitable thrust? You can go in there and convince her that you can turn cabbages into carriages.
You're magic, kid.
Right, B.
A.
? Yeah, man.
l get the chills just by looking at him.
All ready to go, Sergeant? B.
A.
: Ain't good as nothing.
lt won't be good as new till l find the suckers who shot the tyre.
And the fools who tried to blow us up.
Oh, Frowning One don't you realise that's just your human side talking? That's just stray signaIs from a mass of grey gangIia located somewhere in the left hemisphere of your brain.
Hannibal, this fool has blown his manhole cover for good.
MURDOCK: [ln French.]
Très naïve.
Why don't you recognise? Why won't you accept and understand that the gentle, poetic, and tender space-faring side of yourself wants you to reject these feelings of revenge? Only thing l'm gonna reject is you, fool.
lf you don't drop this crazy space rap, l'm gonna drop you for good.
Fool.
[People chattering.]
Howdy.
What are you doing here? You.
-l thought you left.
-Overheating problem.
l just had to come back.
The same thing happened to my vehicle.
You're serenading the wrong person.
lt's not worth it.
-Hold on.
-Wait, don't get serious.
l'll break your heart.
Then why don't we just stand here and make faces at one another.
Faces? lt's a little crowded in here, don't you think? Yeah.
l just.
l just hate crowds, don't you? You want to tell me why? What do you mean? Why what? Why you're so surprised? l mean, you are a very attractive woman.
Thank you.
lt's just that when a man finds out that l'm a pit boss he doesn't stay attracted very long.
Really? Boy, l don't know.
l mean maybe it's just me but l find you very mysterious.
FACE: Like you were hiding some secret only you knew about.
You want to swap incredibly personal secrets? You know what l do want to do? Make a phone call.
LlLA: l have to phone in the tally.
l'd let you come in with me, but it's real classified.
A lot of things about you are classified.
l like that.
lt's frustrating.
You might not like all those things that you think l keep secret.
You know what l just found a gamble l'd love to take.
-The tally.
-Right.
[Door closing.]
B.
A.
: Face activated the bug.
LlLA: Sun Dog, this is Fortune, do you read me? Over.
BURKE: Fortune, come in.
This is Sun Dog.
Come on.
What is going on out there? That high roller's nephew just walked back in.
Did you hit the van or not? What is going on? We hit it all right.
BURKE: They got the drop on us.
You got a fix yet? BURKE: We were Iucky to get out of there without getting our heads bIown off.
We have located the planet where this garbageous material is emanating, Colonel.
Do you think they're cops? From the way they look, no way.
The nephew is waiting for me outside my office.
He's coming on to me pretty strong.
LlLA: What do you want me to do? Just put a lid on him.
Make sure he stays there until you hear from me.
Whatever you say.
''X'' marks the spot.
That's right outside Sandstone Cliffs.
Let's go.
You lied to me.
You said you took those guns in to Smithy.
We had an opportunity and we took it.
You're trying to work your stupid side action, Jackie-boy.
And you keep stepping in your own stupidity.
l don't need that from you, man.
Who got the drop on you? On the radio you told Lila that ''they'' got the drop on you.
l don't know.
Somebody, you know.
They said it was those people that we hit.
Those old people.
[Tense instrumental music.]
You're not supposed to hit a soul.
You ever do that again and l'll take you out so fast, you won't make a sound when you fall.
Understand? [Screaming.]
Understand? -Yes, sir.
-Good.
Jackie-boy.
How does it look, Murdock? l think we have about a half-mile, Colonel.
-Wrong.
Try 50 yards, sucker.
-Get out of here, B.
A.
[Fast-paced instrumental music.]
HANNlBAL: Murdock, give me a rifle.
MURDOCK: You got it, Colonel.
[Fast-paced instrumental music continues.]
BURKE: That's the same van.
Something's going down.
FLAGG: Tomorrow we move camp.
Problems arise, but the operation goes on, right? BURKE: Absolutely.
Those guys are on full-scale manoeuvres.
They're up to something more than just ripping off tourists.
Like what, man? Face will find out for us.
l hope.
There's something about champagne, isn't there? FACE: Yeah, if you do it right.
More.
You're really working on me here.
lt's good stuff.
Must be imported.
Europe? Cheers.
FLAGG: Yes, Fortune, this is Sun Dog.
Over.
Sun Dog, this is Fortune.
LlLA: FIagg, is that you? Yes, it is.
Did Burke tell you that l was to take a customer out here? FLAGG: Yes, l know.
LlLA: He's out.
-He should be out for 10 to 1 2 hours.
-Don't worry about him.
By the time he wakes up, we'll be long gone.
-Everything will be over with.
-Can't wait.
Listen to me.
l want you to go out to the jail and say hi to Al, like you always do.
Routine.
Keep him relaxed and happy.
[Tense instrumental music.]
He'll love the surprise he's going to get.
Believe me.
LlLA: Hi, honey.
AL: How're you doing? l'm doing okay.
How're you doing? l'm doing great.
l'm sitting here in the Hilton.
AL: l'm having the time of my life.
LlLA: Would you not get upset? We've only got a few minutes.
l told you we're not gonna see each other till l moved to L.
A.
LlLA: l'm very sorry.
Al, l just wanted to see you, that's all.
l miss you.
AL: l'd believe you miss me if you'd do what l told you.
AL: What are you really doing here? LlLA: l just.
lt does not have to be like this.
Can we please just treat each other nicely for a change? What do you like, seeing me like this? AL: You get some kind of rush out of this? l was just thinking about the fact that you're being transferred.
LlLA: Maybe l can get a vacation in a couple of weeks and come to L.
A.
and see you.
That's all l was trying to say.
That's all.
That's all you're trying to say.
AL: What's really coming down? LlLA: Nothing.
Nothing.
l just wish we wouldn't argue every time l come to see you.
GUARD: Let's go, Driscoll.
LlLA: Al l love you.
l'll just have to come back later to see my client.
He's real moody.
He doesn't like social gatherings, either.
Sometimes.
lt doesn't matter though.
l have to go to court.
l got a big case.
There's this guy who insists that he's in league with extraterrestrials.
A lot of wackos out there.
l think l'll just go this way.
Thank you.
MURDOCK: Don't worry.
She probabIy stiII thinks you're asIeep like a goo-goo back at the office.
FACE: lf l hadn't seen her put those pills in the glass, l would be.
Al Driscoll? Why does that sound familiar? l think l ought to give Tawnia a ring.
No Murdock.
On the telephone.
l want to check into the old journalistic data bank.
l think we ought to get out of here first.
FACE: You do have something on AI DriscoII? TAWNlA: He's got a book full of credits.
FACE: Just the highIights, honey.
I'm in a hurry.
Right.
We're talking armed robbery, interstate flight assaulting police officers, note the plural.
TAWNlA: GeneraI assauIt, grand-theft auto.
We thought this guy wasn't a good citizen.
What about the Scorpions? Any connection? Best for last.
Driscoll used to be their leader, till he got busted.
Now he's being extradited to L.
A.
to talk to someone at the D.
A.
's office.
That can't make the rest of his little Scorpion buddies very happy.
They probably don't know.
lt's not common knowledge.
Oh, yeah.
Then how did you find out? lt's something Ted slipped to me.
FACE: Ted? TAWNlA: He's a Deputy D.
A.
I know.
Listen, Face you should pick me up at the nearest airport so l can get a great story.
Even an interview on this Driscoll guy.
The answer is no.
As in foolish, impossible and say hi to Ted.
FACE: Did you know that you can lose your gaming license for fraternising with a known criminal? Like, say, AI DriscoII, for instance.
You're making a very big mistake.
You're in a bad spot, lady.
Right in the middle.
Between your boyfriend and the Scorpions.
He is a friend of mine.
l went to visit him.
That's the only relationship there is.
End of story.
He used to tell the Scorpions who to sting.
When he gets extradited to California he'll turn State's witness.
Against the Scorpions.
You know, l can have you all arrested for forcing your way in here.
Lila, we think you're the kind of girl who gets real nervous when bad guys with murder weapons start pushing on you from both sides.
Something big is going down with the Scorpions.
They're out there practicing like an army.
They don't have to do that to rob some half-sauced tourists.
You know what l think? l think you're in it with them and you are the finger on this hit.
Hit? What're you talking about? The only thing l wanted was just to get Al free.
You're just making a herd of mistakes, lady.
-What do you mean? -They're going to turn Al into powder.
The Scorpions must've guessed he's going to L.
A.
to confess.
-He wouldn't do that.
He's their leader.
-He was their leader.
HANNlBAL: They've got a new leader now.
HANNlBAL: Somebody who does not want to be number five anymore or serve 20 years in the slammer, if you know what l mean.
So, when they get close to him your Al is going to wind up in a box with heavy make-up.
That's why they carry all those weapons.
They don't carry all that stuff to break somebody out.
Unless they want to rub someone out.
Listen, the only thing l wanted to do was get Al back, that's all.
Your chances for that are from zero to zero.
Unless, you tell us what the Scorpions' plan is.
Why should l trust you? Because you can't trust those creeps running around in those motorised trash cans, that's why.
-lt's supposed to go down today.
-When? During the transfer, when he's on the bus at 3:00.
-ls there time? -ls there ever? We appreciate your help.
lf l were you, l'd get home and lock out the world.
LlLA: What're you gonna do? lf l explained it to you, you wouldn't understand.
We've rehearsed the operation and we all know what to do with it.
We move in here and here and we corner them.
Exactly like we practised it.
[Tense instrumental music.]
There's only one difference.
Next time it's for real.
Face, l don't believe it.
A whole bus full? All but just one little red-head.
-She just wouldn't-- -Sergeant -we got two hours.
-No problem.
[Adventurous instrumental music.]
[Adventurous instrumental music continues.]
[Drilling.]
Howdy.
Somebody call for a limousine? l.
D.
We're 15 minutes early.
We get here on time, we meet the real bus.
-Your R&T has expired.
-My what's expired? -Release and Transfer authorisation.
-l have my extension right here.
-All right, my man.
-Right.
-For a minute, Face, l thought you blew it.
-No way.
l had the R&T expired on purpose, so l could pull out the extension.
A whole lot more believable, don't you think? Not bad.
TAWNlA: You don't understand, Officer.
l've got the full authority of the paper behind me.
You're denying the freedom of the press! Here they come.
-What's up? -SOP, buddy.
-You don't want any stowaways do you? -No, l sure don't.
You, come with me, please.
Open that.
Face.
Thanks.
What are you looking at? lt isn't everyday l get to spend time with a deposed king.
Ever hear of Louis XlV? That's you.
The target.
What're you talking about? HANNlBAL: The Scorpions, your Scorpions are planning on wiping you out, this afternoon.
AL: That's bull.
l don't know what you're trying to prove.
But there'll be a time and a place where we'll settle this.
Sure.
lf you live long enough.
l have to talk to Hannibal about putting me in the desert with nobody but you, sucker.
You use that word quite frequently in reference to me.
-l'd like-- -Here they come.
What's going on? What're you doing to the bus? This is an anti-Scorpion bite kit.
[Knocking.]
Colonel.
We either got some luggage here that's ticked off or.
How clever.
TAWNlA: Hannibal, l didn't plan it this way.
HANNlBAL: No kidding.
You didn't plan on hanging on with your fingers and toes and you didn't plan on almost getting us caught.
Murdock, give me a radio, will you? l had to get a story when l saw one, Hannibal.
When you didn't feel you needed me, l had to follow my own plan.
l'm thrilled to know that you are you're own person.
-Hannibal, are we going to be here all day? -No, we're almost ready.
Now, here's the plan.
-You mean l'm on the mission? -Yes.
lt's like the All-Star game.
Everybody gets to play.
Now, take this radio.
Get in the van.
Keep close to it till you hear from us.
And then, come in fast.
-Got it? -Got it.
Thanks, Hannibal.
All right, let's get out of here.
[Adventurous instrumental music.]
[Adventurous instrumental music continues.]
Stand by.
MURDOCK: Hey, you! You got good posture.
l'm sure your mama's proud.
But, l don't think sitting up straight is appropriate for this occasion.
The man said hit the deck, jack.
Hit it! [Fast-paced instrumental music.]
[Racy instrumental music.]
[Engine motor whirring.]
[Tense instrumental music.]
You think l'll get home to make dinner for Charlene? lf you have a microwave.
Hannibal, we got company.
Everybody, mount up.
[Police siren wailing.]
Your friend Driscoll's inside, chained up.
When he gets through singing, you can aII Iook forward to a long stretch in the slammer.
These cops will see to it.
Have a nice time.
[Heroic instrumental music.]
MlRlAM: Goodness, l feel just like 19 again.
This is just like our first wedding day.
Give or take, how many years was it? Never mind.
The important thing is, you got the ring back.
Tawnia, are we going to be hearing about Driscoll and the Scorpions for a few years? Not very likely.
l checked the wire before l got here.
Even as we speak, Driscoll is being whisked to scenic L.
A to talk his little heart out.
The cops have enough on those guys to make them ancient history.
l thought history was the accumulated events of mankind.
Otherwise, it would've been in the papers, right, guys? You want to read something in the paper you check out tomorrow's obituary column.
We just wanted to thank you people again.
l didn't think you would ever get our stuff back.
lt's about that time, guys.
Miriam, Max thanks for the cake.
-Hannibal, don't be rude.
-Rude? Rude.
Our interstellar predecessors have told us that in moments such as these we should have cooked bread.
That is their quaint way of teIIing us to have a toast.
HANNlBAL: Hear, hear.
FACE: That's a very classy instinct.
-Now, if l may-- -Love.
To say that love is important is only the beginning.
Love is as precious as the finest jewels.
Murdock.
The essence.
Essence.
Right.
Okay.
Here is my muIti-purpose essence toast.
Wash them molars and douse that throat but don't drink too fast, or you'll get the bloat.
I heard that in BaItimore.
l guess l drank too fast.
[Comical instrumental music.]
[Theme music.]