The Disastrous Life of Saiki K. (2016) s02e18 Episode Script

1
Excuse me.
You, the high-school girl
with brown hair and the headband.
Me?
Yes. I'm sorry to bother you.
Did I surprise you? Or am I bothering you?
No, not really.
I'm glad to hear it.
I'm going to PK Academy.
Is this the right direction?
My right? Your left?
-Yes, that's right.
-Thank you very much.
-Then I'll excuse myself.
-Who is that guy?
-There's a new student.
-Oh, really?
-Again?
-Everyone is fed up.
Why not kill off
the first transfer student
and turn this show
into a mystery thriller?
Transfer student? Could it be
You know them, Chiyopipi?
A guy asked me for directions earlier.
Isn't our teacher late?
-Oh, she's here.
-Sorry, I'm late.
I'll introduce our newest student.
Wow, I feel kind of nervous.
I'm so excited to spend
our exciting youth together.
I'm like a child just before
he performs a recital.
But I don't play an instrument.
Changing first impressions is difficult.
I hear psychologists call it
the primacy effect.
Have you formed an impression of me?
I can't tell what he looks like.
Sorry for blabbering on.
It's a bad habit of mine.
-Finally!
-I say everything I think of.
-What?
-I hope you'll
-see I'm just honest.
-Quit talking so suddenly.
Akechi, can you go ahead
and just introduce yourself?
Is it okay if I take my time?
Keep it short.
Keep it short?
But the class won't know
who this guy in their classroom is.
Then the class
won't be able to concentrate.
-Yikes.
-But it's almost time for the next period.
As they say, "When in Rome,"
so I'll adjust for you.
I'll give a short introduction.
It's about time!
My first name is Touma,
and my last name is Akechi.
I'm sure you're all wondering,
"Why did he transfer now?"
It's common.
I actually have a unique skill. I can
Let's all make friends with him.
That's the end of homeroom.
-That's one crazy guy.
-Touma Akechi.
CAFETERIA
The transfer student is alone.
Well, he didn't exactly make the best
first impression. A primacy effect.
Using a new word, I see.
I'll go say hi.
-I guess I can go too.
-We can make friends.
-That's condescending.
-Akechi, do you want to eat lunch with us?
You can relax, newbie.
I was getting bored by myself!
-Okay, then
-You're in my class.
-We'll sit here.
-I'm glad you talked to me.
What was everyone talking about?
-Let's sit down.
-I couldn't decide what to eat.
-But I decided to have curry.
-I think we'll go.
-They're hesitating sitting down.
-I'd rather have that instead.
Let us sit down first.
Oh, sorry. Have a seat.
Damn, Akechi, you talk a lot.
I do. I've been holding back
since I got here.
-Holding back?
-When I'm still getting to know someone,
-I just keep quiet
-Shut up.
Okay, stop talking for a bit.
Just speak up when we ask you a question.
Okay, I'll be quiet.
But is it okay to clear my throat?
Oh, and I need to eat
Close your mouth!
-Ask him something, Shun!
-Me?
What do you think about death?
That's your first question?
That's a difficult one.
Well, it is a scary thought,
but we are all mortals after all,
-I see.
-I try to accept death.
-That's enough.
-Who knows what'll happen when it comes?
-We got it already!
-But I haven't answered yet.
Sorry, that was a bad question.
Ask him something with an easier answer.
Okay, what are your hobbies?
Hobbies are what you do
in your free time, right?
There's an infinite amount of them.
For example, I pee in the shower.
-That could be a hobby too.
-That's still too long!
What's with you, man?
And why are you telling us
that you pee in the shower?
-Hey, Aren!
-Calm down.
I don't want to anger someone
who was in a gang.
Shut up! I'm not angry.
How did you know I was in a gang?
I could tell by looking at you.
I mean, your glasses are fake.
The way your hair and clothes are so tidy.
Clearly, you want to give off
the impression that you're normal.
But your rough language,
subtle musculature,
the way you look,
and your fists give you away.
Really? Most people wouldn't notice.
I suppose so. It's apparent to me, though.
This trait of mine
seems to surprise people.
People at my previous school
used to say I was a psychic.
Wow, how did you do that?
Can you do that again?
You're like a psychic!
What was that image?
Also, I can find lost objects
and see through people's lies.
So, you're a psychic.
Of course, I'm not actually a psychic.
I know that! Psychic powers aren't real.
No, psychic powers are real.
I've seen them before.
What? Tell us!
You're so gullible.
Let's save it for another time.
You won't talk about it?
It was when I was in elementary school.
Something happened one day
that could only be explained by
psychic powers.
So, I was awfully surprised
when I came into class
and saw him again.
It's been a while, Kusuo.
Don't you remember that day?
-Saiki?
-What?
Did you forget about me?
Akechi is my mother's maiden name,
so my name used to be Touma Asumi.
You can use psychic powers, can't you?
Kusuo, that's amazing!
I'm so glad to see you again.
I can finally ask you about what
I've always been wondering about.
You're a psychic, right?
I've wanted to ask you about it
for ten years since you moved away.
Are you a psychic?
Good grief. I didn't really want to
use this particular power,
but I'll show you.
Check out this clueless face.
That face brings back memories.
It was during first grade
when I asked you the same question,
and you made the exact same face.
Weirdly embarrassing.
What do you mean?
A psychic? What?
Saiki, do you know this guy?
Yes, we were classmates
in elementary school.
Kusuo suddenly moved away,
so it was only for two years.
I met Kusuo during the opening ceremony
in elementary school.
I wet myself from nervousness,
and Kusuo was next to me
-I didn't ask you.
-Kusuo, do you know him?
It's true, but it was way back
in second grade.
-I'm still clueless.
-He doesn't remember.
What a shock!
But come on,
there's no way he's a psychic.
We've never seen anything like that.
If he had powers like that,
he wouldn't hide that from us.
-We were once stranded
-Good grief. I need to think of a plan.
Stranded?
It was awful.
If food hadn't drifted ashore,
we would have been screwed.
-I see.
-Let's stop talking about that.
Crap, I didn't eat anything!
Saved by the bell.
By the way, Kusuo.
I'm 99% sure that incident was your doing.
If I can find proof
that you have psychic powers,
then you're undeniably involved
in that incident.
I promise that I'll find the proof
Too long.
Good grief. To think that there
would be someone
who remembers that time in second grade.
I should have erased my tracks.
We'll beat you up too!
I don't want to remember that.
Saiki?
Yes. In elementary school,
I was in his class,
and we were friends.
Through second grade, anyway.
I wanted to ask you a few questions
to help me figure out what he's like.
-I'll be quick.
-I can't trust you at all.
You almost made me late.
Have we met?
You asked me directions
to the school this morning.
Oh, that was you.
You remember second grade
but not this morning?
-Touma Akechi.
-I'm sorry.
-He's asking around. So annoying!
-I forget if it's not interesting.
He has identified those
who were stranded with me
or are close to me somehow.
What's even more troublesome
is that not only is he smart,
but he's always talking.
He's able to talk
while thinking about something else.
Those two lines of thought make it
hard for me to listen in on him.
-That explains why he recognized me
-Saiki?
-before I could recognize him.
-There's not much to say.
Since meeting Kusuo, have you ever noticed
anything strange happening around you?
-I'm not sure.
-Nothing should come to mind for her.
Anything strange?
Oh, I know.
-What's that?
-What?
No matter how much I diet,
I never lose weight.
Also, I have a crush on someone,
but I haven't made any progress.
Could that be
Don't blame me.
No matter how much my family works,
we're still poor.
Plus, I don't get full no matter
how much I eat.
Could this be
That's not a mystery.
Still no leads.
What? Saiki's former classmate?
Next are these guys.
Nothing should come to mind
for them either, probably.
What do I think of Saiki?
I feel like he has some hidden power.
It seems like he never really tries.
Can you explain in detail?
What? In judo? Or in tennis?
During gym class,
I've never seen him spit blood.
Anyone who tries hard would spit blood
or pass out from dehydration.
-That's a pretty high bar.
-That's not proof he's not trying.
You know, I don't think
you should spit blood during gym.
If you did, call an ambulance.
And not keeping hydrated during exercise
-Oh, yes.
-is very dangerous.
That kind of excessive training
There he goes again.
Help! I'm sorry!
How about you?
-What?
-What about Kusuo?
Does anything bother you about him?
Maybe he bent a spoon,
nearby objects suddenly broke,
he easily found lost objects,
plants around him all died,
scratching his nose without his hand,
saying he was worried about his power,
winning the lottery,
dying but then coming back to school,
being hated by dogs,
retrieving a legendary sword,
or killing people by writing their names.
Oh, right,
feel free to interrupt me
-if you think of anything.
-You ran out of ideas?
Sorry, I wasn't listening. One more time.
You're cruel.
Tell me about Kusuo.
-So simple this time.
-He's an amazing guy.
Amazing?
I can tell he's the one in this school
who's closest to Kusuo.
-He's a great guy.
-Thanks for your time.
You wasted your time.
There are too many people around him.
Good and bad.
Mostly bad, but they're all unique.
Usually, similar people stick together.
But nobody seems similar to Kusuo.
Is it because he isn't normal?
Still too long.
Oh, that's someone Kusuo
was stranded with.
Excuse me.
Yes? Oh, you're the transfer student.
-Oh!
-His thoughts blew up.
Akechi, right?
Who is this girl?
She's the most beautiful girl
I've ever seen.
Kusuo is close to her too?
This is suspicious!
Letting Akechi and Teruhashi talk
may be risky.
He could instantly tell
that Kuboyasu used to be in a gang.
He'll catch on
that Teruhashi has a crush on me.
So he might conclude
You brainwashed her!
-Someone stop this, even a Kokomi fan.
-Excuse me, well
-You can't speak?
-Hey, you!
Good grief. Is it a Kokomi fan?
Watch who you're talking to!
Another person he shouldn't meet.
-It's okay.
-This is bad.
-He's bad at keeping his mouth shut.
-I'll take care of him.
-I'll shut him up with telepathy.
-Scram, pal!
-Toritsuka, shut up and listen.
-Saiki?
That guy is trying to find proof
I'm a psychic.
-Don't talk and get out of there now.
-He's interfering.
-I'll come back later.
-Okay.
Got it, Saiki!
STOP
-You're dead.
-Did you say
"Saiki" just now?
You did, didn't you?
Where are you going?
You know Kusuo?
Even though you're in a different class?
You don't exactly look very normal.
Does he have some kind of hold on you?
Can't you answer?
I'll take that as a yes.
That idiot.
He definitely knows something,
and he's bad at hiding it.
His answer will reveal everything!
Is Kusuo a psychic?
What are you talking about?
What? His nervousness has disappeared.
I thought Saiki had asked you
to get back the money I owe him.
He owes Saiki money? I see.
How misleading.
But I won't give up.
I'll figure out the mystery around Saiki.
I channeled the spirit of a con man.
Are you impressed with
how I turned that around?
-No words of gratitude?
-You screwed up first.
Line up!
Harvesting potatoes.
We're digging up potatoes today!
Our school does this every October.
What a pain.
We're not little kids.
Nobody gets excited
-Let's dig up potatoes!
-All right!
There's a ton of them.
-Their brains are of kids' anyway.
-We'll fart after eating sweet potatoes.
You can't hide from me!
You can't escape my Sweet Potato Radar.
What a useless radar.
-A golden treasure lies in wait.
-She's uncontrollable.
Good grief. I guess everyone was actually
looking forward to this.
I hate it, though.
It's the bugs.
A farm is a terrifying place
for someone afraid of bugs.
-Find your place.
-I don't want to do this.
-Okay!
-I'll just pretend to dig.
Hi, there, Kusuo.
Can I join you?
Touma Akechi.
-He suspects I'm a psychic.
-We harvested potatoes once.
It was October 3 in second grade,
when I was on a bus with you
and peed my pants!
-I caused so much trouble then.
-Wordy as always. Good grief.
Potato harvesting is fun, isn't it?
It makes me smile.
I hope it doesn't also make you pee.
Kusuo, watch your feet.
You might step on a worm.
Crap!
Are you okay?
I held it in. That was close.
I almost caused this to happen.
If I did that in front of this guy,
it's all over.
-You don't look well.
-Get back!
-Oh, and
-Hey, pal!
-What?
-Nendo, Kaido.
Look what I harvested.
Those are some impressive potatoes.
Right? His are even better, though.
Show them.
Oh, shut up.
-Here!
-So tiny.
Impressive, little guy!
The skinniest potatoes!
Shut up! It's about how they taste,
not how they look.
Those will definitely taste bad.
Did you know that the purple color
of these potatoes
is due to a pigment called anthocyanin?
-What's that all about?
-My character talks a lot,
so I need to talk now or you'll forget.
That's too much talk.
-They get sweeter when cooked
-I'll get this over with
-because they have beta-amylase.
-while Akechi isn't looking.
But there are still the bugs.
Huh?
May you prosper.
I've managed to harvest potatoes
without dealing with bugs
or Akechi.
Kusuo, when did you finish?
While you were yammering on
about beta-amylase.
Your gloves are still clean.
Did someone help you?
You can't have someone else do it.
Let's do this, Kusuo.
Darn this guy.
Can you help me clear away these vines?
-This one looks like a turd.
-Get that away!
-It blew up!
-Oh, something happened.
Does he
-Let's continue.
-Did he figure out I hate bugs?
That's not good.
Bathroom break? I'll just stay here.
Keep going.
Kusuo hates bugs, I'm sure of it!
Enough to unconsciously use
his psychic powers.
Oh, that was fast. Let's continue.
Now show me
No reaction?
This is all of them.
Isn't that a little much?
My reward for helping? Oh, thank you.
I guess I was imagining things.
-Thanks, Saiki!
-Good work, Mera.
I got potatoes for helping, like you said!
I used hypnosis so he would think
Mera was me.
I used my psychic powers
to hide my psychic powers.
BOOM
The potato blew up!
I'm a cat.
People call me Amp, Sun, Moon,
or whatever.
But I'm just a stray cat.
I'm king of this town.
As everyone knows,
this world is ruled by cats.
Eighty percent of this show's success
is pretty much thanks to me.
This cat is so cute!
Good grief. Here come the humans.
Well, I'm hungry,
so if they give me food
It looked at us!
This cat is crazy cute!
Oh, my god! It's friendly too!
Another cat. I see.
I'll join in and get some food.
There's another adorable cat over here!
Oh, there's another one.
-I know.
-You knew?
What's going on? What kind of cat could
This cat is so cute!
It looks like it's from a cartoon.
That's a cat?
The art style is different!
So there was another cat
that was cuter than you,
and you couldn't get food?
No! Well, that's sort of right,
but the art style was different.
Open the door! Feed me!
My mom is allergic to cats.
The art style? But a cat is a cat.
The art style is indeed off.
You're the cat from earlier!
This is a surprise. It's a cat,
but it clearly doesn't belong here.
It's cute, of course,
but the art is definitely off.
Say something!
Even the voice acting is off.
I know what this is!
You're trying to be this show's mascot!
Well too bad!
I've already filled that role.
-So get out!
-Thanks for your service.
Don't fire me!
You're too average-looking.
Look at my fur!
The pattern subtly looks
like this show's symbol.
Only I am worthy of the title of mascot.
So you can just get out of here!
Oh, that's the show's symbol.
Amp, you've come to play?
Great timing, servant. Feed me.
Food? Just a minute. What?
-Quit making weird noises!
-What is this?
Don't crawl. It's pathetic.
What is it?
It licked my face! It licked me!
Oh, my god!
Shut up, Dad.
Come on. Have some food.
What about me?
He closed the curtain.
My servant has been stolen from me.
My time is over.
You never had a time.
Amp probably won't come anymore,
which is fine,
but I have to take care of this.
Wow, this cat doesn't have a nose.
That's more than just "wow."
Good grief. Go buy cat food yourself.
It can't eat this much.
That voice.
No! That's not good enough.
-What's Amp doing?
-That'll never work.
One more time!
LICK
No! More seductive.
-Wow, he's desperate.
-I need overcome my pride.
Why are you here?
I know I'm lacking.
I got carried away
and saw humans only as servants,
and there's no way that I deserve
to be this show's mascot.
But still, lose to that amateur?
I'd rather throw away my pride,
and resort to
whatever dirty tactics it takes!
I'll protect my mascot title with my life!
A desperate mascot isn't cute.
I can do it!
Now I'll practice
how to seductively roll around!
Do what you want.
Mom is back! I have to put the cat out.
Kusuo, clean the room for me.
You're fine.
Welcome home! There's nothing here.
What?
Amp, let's see the results
of your training.
So, you've sunk that low.
Is that Amp? What's with the mask?
Look, humans!
Now I'm the same as that cat.
I won't lose.
Right.
The face doesn't match the body.
It's a little gross.
But why this mask?
What's going on?
This is bad! Honey!
What's all the fuss? Oh, cats?
But I'm allergic to cats.
That's right!
This woman is immune to your charms.
There's no place for you in this home.
An animal that doesn't live
with the protagonist
can never be a mascot.
Never!
That disqualifies you too.
-What's this?
-Hey!
Don't get close to her!
-A little bit is fine.
-No, it's not!
Kusuo, rewind Mom's body back by a day.
I keep telling you, it's fine.
Why don't you come out already?
Don't worry.
That's not a real cat,
so you can't be allergic.
Kusuo probably knows by now.
-Ku!
-Kusuke.
-He gave me this mask.
-What is this?
This is a robot cat I created.
What?
It perfectly emulates a cat,
and even uses artificial intelligence.
I noticed a long time ago.
Why did you make it?
For you two.
It's a little late, but November 22
-is your anniversary, right?
-What?
I felt bad that you were allergic to cats,
so I thought this would help.
-Thank you, Ku!
-We'll treasure it forever!
We can keep this cat then?
-Hey, what about me?
-We have a new family member.
-What's going on?
-Let's give you a name.
ONE GULP CAT FOOD
It's so cold this morning.
It's really winter now.
If my right arm weren't sealed away,
I could summon fire
with the power of my Red Inferno.
Too bad. Your brain, I mean.
What's that?
Saiko!
Hey, plebes.
Oh, it's cold. Roll up the window.
What do you want?
How dare you roll up your window on us!
-That asshole.
-He pisses me off.
But I'm a little grateful
for the heat from his car.
He looks down on us every day.
-Why does he go here?
-He should just quit this school.
Good grief.
Good morning, Saiko.
We'll take your bags.
Today, we have social studies
for the first period, next is math,
and then gym class
Cancel gym class.
-Understood.
-Ow!
Watch where you're going!
-You're in Saiko's way!
-Sorry.
Pay attention! It's Saiko!
That's why people pull pranks on him.
SAIKO IS AN ASS HOLE, RICH PRICK
-Who wrote this?
-I don't know.
I'll clean it up now.
-No, don't clean it.
-What do you mean?
POOR BUTLER
-Yes, master.
-It's me. Call forensics.
-Forensics?
-Whoever did this, apologize now.
I'll find the culprit.
No, let us clean it.
-I can't stand for your desk to be dirty.
-I tripped and touched the chair!
So, it was you guys!
Don't bother searching for the culprit.
Everyone here thinks
you're a spoiled brat.
Hey, Aren!
The fact that nobody erased that writing
is proof of that.
Damn plebes.
-Saiko!
-Don't follow me.
-You tried to erase it yourself, though.
-Who cares?
What's up with my face!
No, this is a face
that shows I'm fed up with these plebes.
No, I just hate this school.
I'm rich, but they won't do what I say.
It annoys me.
Hey, don't lean on the door.
I can't get out.
I left the classroom to escape the drama,
but you had to come here.
Since I was born, everyone did
-Don't start a monologue right now.
-as I told them to.
My parents, servants, childhood friends,
people in my class,
everyone in my school,
teachers, the principal, the PTA chairman,
store clerks, managers, presidents,
from the old to the young.
-Are you done?
-That's not all.
The media, journalists,
-There's more?
-pop stars, celebrities, producers,
-Is this necessary?
-baseball players, boxers, coaches
-Everyone!
-I thought so.
But the ones at this school
won't listen to me.
It pisses me off. I hate it.
Maybe I should change schools tomorrow.
I'm not running away.
I'm just bored of these idiotic plebes.
Dad will understand.
They won't do what he says?
I suppose that might be irritating.
But being able to control everyone
makes my life so boring.
I'm glad we wrote in water-based ink.
You should not do that again!
-Got it?
-Yes, I got it!
Why did you do this?
You're his friends, aren't you?
Saiko doesn't think of us that way.
At first, we were just after his money,
but it's not like that anymore.
He's an asshole, but he's straightforward.
We kind of like having a leader,
so I guess we don't mind him.
But in the end, he always pays us.
We tell him we don't want it,
but he insists.
Eventually, that pissed us off.
Like he always thought we were
after his money.
He thinks money can buy friendships.
He must be lonely.
I didn't know it would take so long
to arrange transferring schools.
You're going home?
Or you want to take a dump?
The bathroom is that way.
What are you doing here?
My pal told me to come here.
I'm looking for him.
I'll see you tomorrow then.
You won't. I just quit this school.
This was a crappy school, so I'm glad.
I didn't need to tell him, so why did I?
Hey, wait.
-Why is he crying?
-You're quitting?
Why didn't you tell me? We're friends.
Friends?
Don't mess with me. You and me, friends?
Don't be ridiculous, plebe!
Well, yes.
We ate together, walked home together,
went to your house, and were stranded
on an island together.
If that doesn't make us friends,
what does?
I see.
What's so funny?
So, I'm your friend.
I suppose I didn't realize it,
but I found something money can't buy.
As if I would say that, plebe!
Saiko quit school?
What is he thinking?
An elite citizen like me
and a plebe like you can never be equals!
You want my money too, don't you?
What? Friends don't care about money.
I paid for your ramen the other day,
but it's fine.
-Now I owe you money?
-What's going on here?
-Things seem okay.
-I'll give you a blank check!
-I didn't know
-I don't want it.
-Saiko could make a face like that.
-Just take it!
You're no longer quitting?
All right. I look forward to seeing
more of you
and your donations, okay?
NEXT TIME
This series gets criticized
for people talking too much
or having too many lines.
Do we really need someone like Akechi?
Next time, PK Academy holds
its culture festival.
Good grief. Even I need to help out?
What a pain.
Subtitle translation by Takuya Sawaoka