The Secret Life of the American Teenager s02e18 Episode Script

Why do you want the condom? I thought it would be nice to have a condom in my purse like any other responsible teenager going out on a date.
Take it to her.
How many times can I drive up there just to get rejected? As many times as it takes.
You still have feelings for Ricky? No.
What about Ben? Nope.
Did you have sex with him? No.
Wow.
Wow what? Griffin was right.
I think I might like you.
Ben, come in.
I want to get married.
Me, too.
I never slept with her.
You slept with her in Chicago.
I did not.
Some guy outside said to give this to you.
Why did he not bring in my purse? If you're going to be with Madison, Jack, just be with Madison, because nobody respects a cheater.
We could have been good together.
I'm not taking the job in New York.
Because we're getting married.
Oh, my God! Mom! So you're back? I was thinking about it, but I don't think that it's a good time for me to come back.
She's home, but she's not staying unless Dad agrees to go to counseling.
Well, that sounds reasonable.
Are you kidding? Mr.
Juergens in a shrink's office? That's not happening, is it, Amy? I thought maybe it was until you said that.
So, um, did he call you? Jimmy? No, but we agreed we're not going to call each other every day.
We're two hours apart, and you know how lon g-distance relationships are.
They just don't work.
So he hasn't called? Has Jesse called you? Oh, yeah.
Every two hours.
Jack calls me.
You know, not every two hours, but every day.
But we're not in a lon g-distance relationship.
Are you in a relationship? You know what they're doing.
So yes.
Madison.
Look, it's not that bad.
I like it for now.
Are you doing anything with Jimmy? No, not really.
We did make out for a couple of hours.
And he didn't call you? Okay, that's weird.
Is he a bad kisser? No.
Uh-oh.
What? Nothing.
Madison I am not a bad kisser.
If I were a bad kisser, we wouldn't have made out for two hours.
Maybe he was trying to teach you something.
Did he seem bored? No.
I can't believe he didn't call her.
Something's wrong.
Hey, girlfriend.
Did he call? No, he did not call.
He does not have to call me.
He can call me if he feels like calling me.
Yeah, that's right.
Or you can call him if you feel like calling-- I don't feel like calling him.
Oh, right.
There's a lot going on at your house.
Goodbye, Adrian.
Oh, hey.
Good morning.
Yeah, I'll see you later.
Wait, did you ask them? Did you ask your parents to come over and meet my parents? They can do it any time.
Well, any time my mom's not working.
No, I didn't get a chance.
Oh, come on.
Please? Adrian, my mom does not like the fact that I moved out of the house and you and I are having sex.
That doesn't mean they won't like me.
Yes, it does.
Look, my parents want to meet your parents.
Why? Your parents are getting married.
We're not getting married.
I have to go.
I'll talk to you later.
Hey.
What's wrong? Your parents? No.
Well, yeah.
That too.
You think I'm a good kisser? Why do you ask? Couldn't you have just said yes? Of course you're a good kisser.
Oh, geez.
He didn't call you? No.
It's not because you're not a good kisser.
Everyone's a good kisser.
Of course, anyone could become a better kisser with practice.
Is that true? Doesn't everything get better with practice? I don't know.
You want to practice? I could practice with you.
You know, just as a friend.
Really, after everything we've been through together, we can't kiss each other just so you can get some practice? I'm sure you didn't learn anything from Ben, other than maybe some bad habits.
Think about it.
I'm coming by to see John tonight anyway, and no one has to know.
âTª Falling in love âTª âTª Is such an easy thing to do âTª âTª Birds can do it We can do it âTª âTª Let's stop talking Let's get to it âTª âTª Let's fall in love âTª I need a late slip.
I'm late.
I noticed.
What's going on? Could I just have a late slip? You never get something for nothing.
Tell me what's going on.
What is that? It's a poster.
I made it myself.
It's for the Mother Daughter Dance.
It's sort of a ritual I like to do in the springtime.
We always have a father-daughter dance.
I know there's usually a fathe r-daughter dance, but mother-daughter dances are always interesting and usually fun.
I started switching our dads with moms, oh, I don't know, years-- Can I just have a late slip? Maybe.
Something going on with your mom? The new boyfriend? He's not a boyfriend.
He's just some younger man she's seeing to embarrass me.
Her husband, my father, hasn't even been dead for a year.
It's a year of mourning with the Protestants? I don't think there's any rule.
Oh.
So it just hurts? Life is for the living.
Not without respect for the dead.
That's kind of what this is about- the Mother Daughter Dance.
I don't know what that means, but I don't want to be a participant in it.
I don't want to dance with my mother.
I don't even want to be around my mother.
Yes, but you could be with your mother instead of with a guy or your friends or one of your friends' mothers who you may like better than your own at this age.
That's why I do this every year.
Forget about the late slip.
I'll just write it myself.
You're still going to need me to sign it.
Hello.
We need to talk.
About? This Mother Daughter Dance.
You know, some of us don't have mothers.
I know.
Yeah, and it's wrong.
It's just wrong.
It's awkward for me and for anyone else who's lost a mother to death or divorce or career or whatever.
Your mom passed away? Yeah.
Five years ago.
Did your dad remarry? What does that have to do with anything? She's not my mother.
What's her name? I call her my wicked stepmother.
He calls her Emily.
I don't want to dance with her.
Bad dancer? Bad everything.
Yeah, I don't do anything with her, ever, so I don't want to start now.
So you're close? Are you mocking me? Just testing your sense of humor about this.
I figured if you're in the Dead Parents Club, you must have a sense of humor.
How long has your dad been married to her? Three years.
And they dated a year before that.
Just a year after my mom died.
At least, I think it was a year.
They could have been going out longer.
Might be time for you to get to know each other.
My father and I have an agreement-- I don't have to know her, as long as I'm not rude.
Tell me about her.
She flirted with my dad, and she conned him into marrying her, and then she took over everything in the house and she ruined my life.
Oh, I don't think I'd let anyone have that kind of power-- power to ruin my life.
Didn't that kid you went to the dance with ruin your life? I made the decision to go, and it didn't ruin my life.
And it made his better.
Why are you always dancing? Like I've said, life is for the living.
Dancing is living.
It's a celebration of life.
I'm celebrating.
Well, I'm not celebrating.
Okay, suit yourself.
It's just a dance.
It's not a requirement.
But why don't you tell me-- What's really going on here? Wow.
Where were you trained? I went to undergraduate school in France.
That's where I really honed my skills.
The advanced degree from an American university was just a requirement.
I'd offer you wine and a cigarette, but it's not good for you.
Hi.
Hello.
Is everything okay? She didn't come back from the bathroom.
We have bathroom passes, so Ms.
Johnson sent me to find out if she was okay.
I'm okay.
Chocolate? Is it a bribe? Because I'm not going to that dance, either.
Because? Because my mom and dad are divorced, and my dad would be totally jealous if I spent any more time with my mom.
I already live with her and her husband, so I can't have some special night with her.
She's already getting me and my brother for spring break, so this would totally put my dad over the top.
Your dad, the psychologist slash family counselor extraordinaire and best-selling author? Best-selling? Duh.
I didn't know.
I'm not into non-fiction.
I guess people really read that stuff, huh? Lots of people.
[knocking on door.]
Hello.
Ms.
Johnson sent me to get you two.
We have to go.
We have a pop quiz.
Oh.
Chocolate? This is really good.
It's from France.
France.
Pop quiz? She knows we weren't there.
It's on last night's homework.
Coming to the Mother Daughter Dance? I don't know, but I might use it to get my mom to stick around a little longer.
Oh, is she going to Mimsy's? That's her grandmother.
If Dad doesn't-- You know.
Go to therapy.
Madison, private information.
That's all right.
There's a cone of silence around the office here.
Couldn't he go to Lauren's dad, or are they close friends? That's a great idea.
Yeah, maybe.
I don't want Lauren's dad to know what's going on in our home.
He already knows.
Lauren tells him everything.
I don't know everything.
And besides, my dad is a professional.
He wouldn't repeat anything he hears in counseling.
He'll just write a bes t-selling book about it.
He changes the names.
These are good.
Hi.
I have to get this late slip signed.
I tried to get it from the office, but they don't do that anymore.
I know.
Candy? No, thank you.
Dark chocolate's good for you.
Medical fact.
I'm a doctor.
So is red wine, but she can't give us any.
I just really need the late slip.
Is everything okay? Is everything okay with you? Or you or you or you or anyone else, for that matter? Grace, Grace.
Where are you going? Leave me alone.
I looked for you before school.
I have to get to class.
I don't want to talk to you.
I wish I'd never talked to you about it.
I didn't say anything to anyone.
Wait, Grace.
Leave me alone.
What's going on with Grace? I don't know.
Grace, I didn't say when we were getting married.
I said we were thinking about it.
I hope you do that.
I hope you think about it.
And when you do, I hope you realize it's too soon.
It is soon, I admit it, but not too soon.
They say that couples who are happily married and then lose a partner, they remarry quickly.
Oh, so now you're some sort of statistic? I don't know where you got that, but maybe you should go back and see if the children are happy when the parent who's left behind gets remarried.
Why don't you see how the children feel about it? Honey, you are hardly a child.
And Tom isn't a child, either.
No, because we had to grow up really fast this year because you're being a child.
You can't just get married because you're in love and want to have sex.
Grace, we haven't even talked about a date.
We're just talking.
I wish you'd stop talking.
I don't want to talk to you.
I can't really help her.
She hates this guy her mom's marrying, and she's taking it out on me.
What's wrong with him? Maybe there is something wrong with him.
You got me out of some bad relationships.
He's younger than her mother, and he's a doctor.
Mm.
Good for Kathleen.
Yeah, he sounds good, but it is a little too soon, don't you think? I think I don't have any judgment about that.
I certainly wouldn't want anybody saying anything about your father and me getting married.
Is that why you want a small wedding? No.
I want a small wedding because I want it to be intimate.
And yes, I think I don't want to know what Ruben's family and friends think about it.
And he feels the same way about my family and friends.
We just don't want anybody to ruin this moment for us-- Get us off to a bad start.
We've waited a long time for this.
So did you ask Ricky about meeting his parents? Because I'm fine with them being witnesses, if that's what you want.
I asked him, but he seemed a little weird about it.
I don't think he wants them to meet you and Ruben.
So you didn't ask me to come by just to give me a couple of free steaks? Nope.
I would love to meet Adrian's parents.
I think it's a wonderful idea.
I love meeting new people.
And I would love to go to the wedding.
And I'd love to spend time with Adrian and her family.
And you, of course.
Why's that? Well, it sounds as if you and Adrian are really close, and I'm happy that it's more than just a physical relationship.
Maybe it is.
Maybe it isn't.
I'm just doing this because she asked me to do this.
I don't really care if you meet her parents or not.
I don't care if you go to the wedding or not.
I'd completely understand if you say no.
But we're not saying no.
At least, I'm not.
I'll talk to Shaker.
Thank you for the steaks.
Thanks for coming over here to get them.
I came over here to see you.
I have to get back to work.
Of course.
Now, just let me know where and when you want us to show up.
And bring John by.
We haven't see him in weeks.
Sorry.
I've been busy.
But I will.
I'll see you, okay? Okay.
Ricky.
What? I know how you get when people get close, but it's going to be fine, okay? Yeah.
It is.
Bye.
Everything okay? Yeah.
Everything's fine.
Unhappy customer? What? No, that's my mom.
She's my foster mom.
She's my mom.
Oh.
Never met her.
You didn't want to introduce us? No.
Why not? I don't like people getting in my business.
When they do start getting in my business, I have a tendency to cut them off and never go near them again.
So I'm hoping that as long as we're friends, you don't do anything stupid like trying to get to know me or my family.
Okay? You know my family.
You know my dad.
You're friends.
No, not friends.
He's my boss.
I have a reason to know him.
Okay.
Why does everyone want to meet my parents, anyway? Everyone, who? You.
Adrian.
I wanted to meet your mom because she was here, and it seemed like the thing to do.
I don't know.
Adrian's never met your parents? No.
Why would she have met them? I don't know.
Why is she meeting them now? Her stupid parents are getting married, and they thought it would be nice if my parents were the witnesses.
That way, it would be their family and my family.
I don't know how I got myself into this.
Okay, I do.
I just don't know if I want more than sex out of a relationship.
Is it a relationship if you're just having sex and you're not involved in any other way? Your point? I don't have a point, I guess.
Good.
How's Grace? She's okay.
We're just getting to know each other.
How's that going? Slowly.
We seemed to hit it off, and thenI don't know.
She's probably got a lot on her mind, with her mom getting engaged.
I don't know why everyone wants to get married.
What? Oh, she didn't tell me.
She didn't tell me, either.
Adrian told me.
Don't go getting all weird because I knew and you didn't.
No, I was just surprised that she hasn't called to tell me.
Then again, I haven't called her, either, but I've been busy with my dad and Betty and helping plan their wedding.
You've been too busy to call Grace, or is that just an excuse for not calling? You like her, right? Yeah, I like her.
I really like her.
I mean, who would have thought that Grace Bowman would go out with me? But now that she will go out with you, the challenge is gone, and so is the interest, right? You might want to call her, because it works both ways.
Now that Jack's got somebody, she might get interested in him.
She's okay with that, with Jack and Madison.
There he is.
There's my boy.
Hey, give me night's report.
What am I walking into? I'm not sure.
Mom's cooking and freezing some meals so we'll have something to eat when she leaves.
And Amy's trying to get her to go to a mother-daughter dance at school so she'll stick around a little longer and you'll have a chance to go to counseling.
I don't really have anything to talk about to a stranger.
That's not going to happen.
No kidding.
What a surprise.
That's sarcasm.
Ashley's the queen of sarcasm.
She got it from me.
Hopefully you'll get it from me, too.
Then you can be on our team.
That's something you could talk to a stranger about-- Teams.
Do families usually divide into teams? Sure, but it's usually the parents against the children-- In the good families.
Where do you get this stuff? Life.
Experience.
Life experience.
Okay, well, maybe that's what I need-- More life experience.
But it would seem to me, child that I am, that if you really wanted your wife back and our family united, and all you had to do to get that was talk to a stranger, then you'd do it.
What is it, an hour or two of your time for a few weeks? Whatever it is, an hour, two hours, No one knows me better than me, and no one knows your mother better than her, and then me, so if we can't work out our issues on our own, just the two of us, we can't work out our issues.
Can you work out your issues? You have some gigantic issues.
We're not going to work them out in a few weeks or months or even years.
It's going to take a lifetime to work them out, and we're not going to a marriage counselor for a lifetime.
On the way home, Amy told Mom that you could give Lauren's dad a call.
Yeah? For what? He's a family therapist.
He's one of those strangers who talks to people who need someone to talk to.
Yeah.
Like Ricky.
I'm not a kid.
I'm a grown man.
I don't need to talk to another grown man.
Dad.
I just need to talk to your mother.
And your mother.
And she needs to talk to me.
She'll talk to me, eventually.
It's all going to be fine.
Hey, where's your mom? She's grabbing a shower while she has the chance.
Uh-huh.
She left you in the kitchen so you could ask if I'd like to give your friend Lauren's dad a call.
Yeah.
Okay.
1, I hate that Ashley tells you everything before I get the chance to tell you or before Mom, and 2, would it kill you to call him? You know him, kind of.
Come on, Dad.
You and Mom are not going to work everything out on your own.
í!ere'd you get that from? Your mom, by any chance? It's true.
Ames, it's not something I do, therapy.
I'm against it.
Okay.
What if you call Lauren's dad and have dinner with him? Having dinner with a therapist doesn't count, does it? I don't know, but it's a start.
And Mom doesn't have to know that it's dinner.
All she has to know is that you're making an effort, so make an effort.
If you have a problem, and fixing it would make your life better, then fix it.
Do whatever you have to do to fix it.
You talking to me, or you talking to you? I think someone needs a diaper change because someone has been with his sister Ashley and sister Ashley doesn't always change diapers.
Call him.
His number's on the counter.
You don't want to eat here.
The worst part of the day is eating in our rooms as if we all don't remember what it was like eating in the dining room.
And Amy can't take any more rejection.
First the boyfriend doesn't call, and now her mom is threatening to leave again unless her dad sees a therapist, and he's not going to see a therapist, unless you could just have dinner with him.
I'd go, but Amy's not going, and besides, I want to go out with Jesse.
So this is the emergency? Having dinner with Amy's dad? He can't just call and make an appointment? [phone rings.]
Oh, answer it.
Hello? Hi, George.
How are you? [whispers.]
You gave him this cell? No, I'd love to grab a bite.
But Lauren isn't available, and I know Amy's probably busy.
Amy's got to stick around because Ricky's coming over to see John.
I just thought the two of us could duck out on our own.
I need to get out for a bit.
I know the feeling, but if this is about a family issue, George, maybe you'd rather just meet me at the office.
Dad, no.
No, it's nothing like that.
I just need to get out of the house, and Amy said that Lauren said you need someone to hang out with.
Girls, huh? All right, I'll meet you.
All right, great.
Say, Jeff's Restaurant, in an hour? All right.
I'll see you there.
Thanks, Dad.
You're welcome.
This probably is not a good idea.
I know how it's going to work out.
You never really know how things are going to turn out, and even if you think you do, just try and stay open.
It's another father reaching out to you.
I know what it is.
And by the way, this isn't an emergency.
Sometimes, your daughter should come before everything else.
She and my son always come before everything else.
And we appreciate that, but right now, I have to get ready for my date, so I'll leave you two to argue.
I mean talk.
You look like you got something on your mind, and I know you know talking to George is not an emergency.
What's up? Why'd you really want me here? We need to switch some weekends around.
Lauren needs me to go with her to the Mother Daughter Dance next weekend, and I know that's supposed to be her weekend with you.
But this is important.
Mother Daughter Dance? What's that? What happened to the father-daughter dance? I have no idea.
All right.
Shouldn't be a problem.
Good.
Having dinner with Lauren's dad does not count as therapy.
Who said it did, huh? Not me.
I'm just getting together with Amy's friend's dad because neither of us has anywhere to go tonight.
What's his name again? It's Ken.
Dr.
Ken Fields.
Why don't you schedule an appointment for the two of us to talk to him together instead of putting him on the spot at dinner? I could, but I don't want to.
I just want to have dinner.
If the subject of you and me comes up, it comes up.
but for all I know, the guy just needs another guy to talk to.
Don't you get it, George? Don't you get why I want not just you, but both of us, to talk to someone together? It's too big, George.
It's just too big.
It's almost too big to comprehend how we got ourselves into this situation.
We need some help sorting it out.
We need to make some decisions.
Like what? Like what? Like, I don't know, like whether or not I should stay here.
Amy wants you to go to that Mother Daughter Dance.
Yeah, I know.
She told me.
What about Ashley? Doesn't matter what Ashley thinks.
Stay.
Decided.
Next.
Not decided.
What, Ashley doesn't want me to stay? I don't know.
It doesn't matter.
I want you to stay.
If I do stay, we have to decide whether or not we're going to stay divorced or if you're going to move out again or if we're going to get married again.
Get married again.
Decided.
Next.
What else? What else do we have to decide? Whether or not we love each other, and are committed to each other and our marriage and our family enough to stay together for the rest of our lives.
Can't be decided.
We just see how it goes.
Next.
George, listen to me.
Please.
I want what I wanted when I married you in the first place.
I want us to want each other.
I want you to want me, and I want to want you.
I want us to want to be together, to miss each other when we're apart.
I want us to raise our children together, and to grow old together.
I want to forget everything that's happened before, and start all over again, and to make everything better than it's ever been.
But how are we going to do that, George? How? Anne, you have my word that I'm going to do the best I can do to give you everything you want.
But this is real life.
I can't promise a happy ending.
All we can do is try.
There are no guarantees, but I'm willing to take a chance if you are.
Do you really love me, Anne? Because right now, I get the feeling you're looking for me to say something, whether it's in this kitchen or therapy, that gives you an excuse to leave again.
I'm just looking for you or for Amy or Ashley or for someone to say something to make me want to stay.
Thank you.
I owe you so much.
Don't make a big deal out of it.
Just don't.
It is a big deal, meeting your parents.
I don't want it to be a big deal.
Okay.
This doesn't mean anything other than our parents are meeting so that my parents can be the witnesses at your parents' wedding.
Yeah, I said okay.
I just want to make sure you know that.
Nothing's going to change just because everyone gets to know everyone.
I know that.
It's not some kind of commitment on my part.
Doesn't mean we're going to get married some day.
I know, Ricky, okay? It's just nice that it's going to be our families.
It's nice.
My family is also with John.
And Amy.
And Amy? And Amy.
Don't you go and ruin this, all right? I'm just saying, don't forget my family goes beyond my mom and dad.
All right.
Good night.
I'm going over to Amy's.
I'll talk to you in the morning.
It's almost 9:00, and John's asleep by now.
I thought you went ove before you came here.
I didn't.
Amy wanted to talk to me, so she told me to come over after she got John to bed.
About what? I don't know.
Her new boyfriend hasn't called her.
Yeah, so? So I guess she's out there all by herself, looking again.
Yeah.
I imagine at's going to happen over and over again, for, like, the next 10 years, until she finds a guy who wants to be in a relationship with a woman who has a baby with another guy.
Just don't you feel sorry for her, okay? Please.
Good night.
Night.
What's up? You have any idea why Amy's new boyfriend hasn't called her? Don't know, don't care.
I personally had a date the same night and never heard from him again either.
It happens.
Yeah, but you're strong, Ashley.
You're young.
Yeah, I'm, what, a year younger than Amy and two years younger than you? Amy's been through a lot, and she doesn't need more rejection.
There has to be a reason why that Jimmy hasn't called her.
Probably.
That doesn't mean we'll ever know that reason.
That means we have to call and ask him.
If Amy's not going to call, then we have to call.
Geez, are you that insecure? Do you really think Ricky's going to dash over here and throw himself at Amy because she doesn't have a boyfriend again? Yes.
Look, I don't have Jimmy's number, and even if I did, I wouldn't give it to you, and I wouldn't call him.
She had to have done something or-- Wait.
She said she left her purse in the car, and instead of him bringing it back to her, he sent it in with your friend.
What was in that purse? Something must have been in that purse that changed his mind about her.
We just wanted to say good night.
Oh.
Good night.
Studying hard, or hardly studying? Morgan, of course she's studying.
Madison's a very good student.
You should know.
You're a smart woman.
You know, Madison, if you ever need any help-- She doesn't need any help.
I might.
I'm having some trouble with algebra.
Are you good at algebra? You kidding? She's a business manager.
She manages businesses.
Of course Emily can do algebra.
Oh, yeah.
Of course.
So great, great.
Go ahead, honey.
Help her.
I don't know that much about algebra.
I haven't found it too practical.
I was just so desperate to have a conversation with you, any conversation with you, Madison, that I lied.
Me, too.
I don't have any trouble with algebra.
[phone rings.]
Just Jack.
Just? Well, truthfully, I need some help with guys.
Oh.
Well, guys like Jack? Jack, and guys like Jack.
It just seems that guys only want one thing.
Yeah.
Then again, not all guys.
Not really.
And those that do want one thing, they will sometimes settle for something else.
I'm sorry, I heard you and Lauren talking about Jack a few weeks ago.
Oh, my God.
You didn't tell my dad, did you? God, no.
Of course not.
Madison, I've been a daughter.
Just never a stepmother.
Well, except for the past three years.
Oh, God, how did we go from talking about algebra to this? I don't know, but believe me, it's a heck of a lot more interesting than algebra.
Is this what you wanted to talk to me about? No, not really.
I just wanted to talk to you about guys and boyfriends.
Here I go lying again.
I do that in awkward situations.
It's just, I've kind of been leading up to something that has been bothering me for the last four years, and it's just that I thought that maybe you'd been dating my dad before my mom died, and I just figured I would try to find a way to ask you, because I didn't think I could go any longer without asking you.
I'm happy you only let four years go by before you did, because the answer is no.
I met him after, after your mother died.
That's such a relief.
That's why you've hated me for the last four years? Oh, no, there's lots of reasons.
Okay.
Uh, well, you don't have to tell me if you don't want.
Oh, no, I want.
No, if it's a way to avoid talking about what I overheard you and Lauren talking about-- No, I want to tell you.
All right.
[phone rings.]
Okay.
I tried telling her, but she's not picking up.
Well, then you tell her when you see her.
I don't think I have to tell her, Dad.
That's not how people my age do things.
How do you do things? What do you think is the right thing to do here? Don't call her, don't text her, and she'll get the message without me having to say it to her and hurt her feelings.
But her feelings are going to be hurt anyway.
Yeah, exactly.
What are we doing now? Now we're just going over to Grace's house to talk.
Just talk? Really? You and Grace? I vote Madison.
I like Madison.
Don't go back with Grace.
Mom.
What? Madison is fun.
Grace is so serious.
And why should you break up with Madison and go running back torace just because she needs you? Because of that.
She needs me, and Madison doesn't need me.
Don't go with needy.
Go with fun.
You're 17.
I don't know why I asked either of you about this.
Because we're your parents, and you want to do the right thing.
Darling, he's choosing between oral sex from a fun redhead or the chance to go all the way again with a mixed-up blonde.
He's not concerned about the right thing.
We should talk about this some more.
No, we've talked too much already.
It's never a good idea when parents get involved in relationships.
I made a mistake.
I shouldn't have asked.
But you did.
I shouldn't have.
You did.
Hey, just letting you know we're going to bed.
Good night.
Thought you were going to bed.
I am, I am.
Just thought I'd spend a few minutes talking before I go off to my lovely bride-to-be.
It's great being in love.
I can't wait to get married.
Yeah, it'll be nice to make it official.
And you're okay with the big wedding? Of course.
Whatever Betty wants.
And we never had a party at the house, so we could put that garden to good use.
So yeah, I can't wait.
Who you going to be bringing to the wedding? Grace? I don't know, actually.
I heard that she's got some stuff going on with her family, so now may not be the best time to bring her to a wedding.
I think Betty has her and her brother and her mom on the list.
Really? Yeah.
She and Tom met before.
They didn't do anything, they just met.
So they stay in contact.
I see.
Well, then I guess he'll want to go, and maybe Grace and her mom, too, but I think Grace's mom just got engaged, or she's thinking about getting engaged, and I don't think Grace is too happy about it.
At least, that's what I heard.
And she didn't tell you? She told Ricky.
When are you going to stop competing with Ricky? You two are friends.
No, it's just that I'm so confused.
I like Grace.
I do.
She's easy to talk to, and we have so much in common, and she's beautiful, but Can't stop thinking about Amy? Give it some time.
Don't rush back into anything.
See how it goes.
Amy's mom and dad were already thinking about getting a divorce, and then she found out that he cheated on her, so she made him think that she was cheating on him, and then she got pregnant, so he thought it was the new boyfriend's baby, and they got divorced, but then he found out that it was his baby, and he wanted to get back together, but we don't know how they're going to get back together, so Amy and Lauren got Lauren's dad to go to dinner with him.
With George? Well, yeah, because he'd never go to an actual therapy session.
And Lauren's dad is who Ricky sees, and Adrian.
I think they go together, but Ricky's the one who needs it.
I mean, come on, because he's Ricky.
Do you want to go to that dance next weekend? Oh, of course.
Not that I can dance.
It's okay.
I already told everybody that you're a horrible dancer.
You know who's a really great dancer, though, is Jack.
I thought you weren't going to see Jack anymore.
Yeah.
I'm not going to do that anymore-- Not unless he really gets away from Grace this time.
There's no guarantee of that.
Sorry, go on.
Well, there's no guarantee of anything.
I could get hit by a bus tomorrow, or I could choke to death in the cafeteria on a fruit cup.
I think about these things.
I've always been kind of an existentialist.
Like, even when I was a kid, I was thinking, "Wow, this is fun, but why is it a sandbox?" It's like gender roles in America.
After that, it was never the same, and it's never going to be the same because now she's got that idiot in our lives.
I'm still angry that my wife-- Ex-wife.
Would ever be attracted to a guy like that.
Surgeon.
I know it's necessary for a surgeon to have a strong ego, but this guy thinks he's God.
And there he is with my children in my house with my wife.
Ex-wife.
I can't believe that that's the guy.
Out of all the guys in the world to choose from, that that's who she'd choose.
I mean, you can't choose your wife's husband.
Ex-wife.
But this guy? And now he has Jason convinced he should be a doctor.
I'm a doctor.
A medical doctor.
That's not a Ph.
D.
after my name.
I'm a psychiatrist, which my wife seems to forget.
Ex-wife.
Ex-nothing.
Once a wife, always a wife, married or not.
You can't just forget you slept with a woman for 20 years and had two children.
No, no, she is still my wife.
Geez.
I really am angry.
Still angry.
I still can't let it go.
But even married, she can't let it go, either.
Your wife? Ex-wife.
There you go.
You got a long road ahead of you, my friend.
When you have children together, you're together.
Like it or not, for life.
I don't know.
This is awkward.
I don't think it's going to help.
You're just too self-conscious.
Relax.
I can't kiss you.
You kissed me before we had a baby.
I think you can kiss me again.
Just close your eyes.
I'll do all the hard stuff.
Believe me, it's nothing to either of us.
We're just friends.
Friends with a baby.
Just close your eyes.
Well? Who is it? It's me, Mrs.
Bowman.
Ben Boykevich.
Oh.
Hi, Ben.
It's kind of late.
I know, but I just thought I'd stop by.
I texted Grace.
Oh.
I didn't realize.
Come on in.
I apologize.
I should have waited until Grace texted me back.
But, um, is that Jack's car out front? I don't think so.
Let me just go get Grace.
Hi, Mrs.
Bowman.
Jack.
You were upstairs? Yeah, Grace let me in the back.
And then the two of you quietly snuck up to her bedroom? We were just talking.
About me? I think I'll be going.
Suit yourself, Ben.
I'm going to talk to Grace.
You saw my car out front? Yeah.
I tried to text Grace a few times.
Can't you take a hint? Yes, I can normally, but I like talking to Grace, and I really wanted someone to talk to.
Why didn't you call Adrian? I like to talk to Adrian, too, but I thought that Adrian might be with Ricky, and Ricky doesn't particularly like me calling Adrian, so I'm trying to quit.
I guess I should stop calling Grace, too.
I will stop calling or texting Grace, too.
We're not getting back together.
She called me because she wanted someone to talk to, and she didn't want to call you because she doesn't want you to know how screwed up her family is because she likes you.
She thinks of me as just a friend now, and she likes you as more than a friend.
Just in case you're still interested.
Really? Yeah.
And when she called, I thought it was something else, but Grace and her mother may be up there for a while.
They're kind of in a bad place right now.
This was a stupid idea.
When I couldn't get Grace, I-- Texted me, and when you didn't get me, you thought I'd be over here, so you came over.
Been there.
And you did call Adrian, and she told you that Ricky was over at Amy's.
She called Grace.
They really are friends.
They fight, but they're friends.
Yeah, I did talk to Adrian.
And then I talked to Ashley, because Adrian wanted me to talk to Ashley.
I really wish I hadn't talked to Ashley.
How'd everything get so screwed up? I don't know.
Sex? You don't want Ben to know how screwed up our family is? Honey, his dad is marrying Betty, Tom's internet hooker.
Yeah, but his mom's been dead for years.
Like, over five years.
Sweetie, everyone's family is screwed up in some way or another, okay? We're not the only ones.
Look at Adrian and her family.
This is her dad's fourth marriage.
And look at Amy and her family.
Honey, look at anyone's family.
No one is perfect.
No one.
Not you and certainly not me.
Yeah, but if anyone was close to perfect Yeah.
If anyone was close to perfect, it was your dad.
It was Marshall.
So there's this dance next week, this Mother Daughter Dance.
If you want to go with me Of course.
Honey, I would love to go.
I mean, it's not the day you're getting married or anything.
If it's the day I'm getting married, I would change the date to go with you.
No, you won't.
I wouldn't let you.
I love you, sweetie.
I love you, too.
Guess what.
I love Tammy, and I asked her to marry me.
And she said? Just kidding.
I am not getting married to Tammy.
I'm going to wait for Adrian.
Oh, there you are.
I was just with Robbie, and I thought you might be in there.
No, I'm right here.
Yeah.
So you wanted to talk to me? Kind of.
Really? You know, he's a great guy-- Dad.
And he's made some mistakes.
A lot of mistakes.
Okay, let's face it, he's full of mistakes.
But he loves you.
He loves all of us, and he's not going to go to therapy.
And I think this dinner's the best you're going to get, so I was just thinking could you just see how things go for the next few weeks? You know, just stick around a little longer.
Because? Because-- Look, I know it seems as if I love Dad best, just like it seems as if you love Amy best, but you and I both know that Dad and Amy need the most help, so you help her and I help him, and that's just the way it's worked out.
That's how you see it? That's how I see it.
Which doesn't mean that we don't all need each other.
We're all kind of dazed and confused, and maybe with some time, things will just work themselves out.
Or not.
I mean, you know how it is with babies.
They either push you together, like tonight with Amy and Ricky, or they pull you apart, like tonight with you and Dad.
Life is kind of a push and pull, isn't it? I guess you could say that.
So could you stay a little longer, Mom? I'm thinking about it, Ashley.
I don't know.
What was it you said tonight about Amy and Ricky? I didn't say-- It was nothing.
Look, Amy really, really needs you to go to this Mother Daughter Dance with her.
She's got some serious issues.
You're my daughter too, Ashley.
Do you need me to go? Mom, I don't know if I need you to go to a dance, ever, but I would love it if you would go, because I love you, Mom.
I love you, too, Ashley.