Veronica Mars s02e18 Episode Script
I am God
Good morning, Veronica.
The school counselor would like to see you.
You were sleeping in class.
Mrs.
Taft said she's reprimanded you three times for wearing headphones while she was teaching.
She's reading "The Golden Bowl" aloud with a fake english accent.
You were caught ripping down another student's poster.
Am I being followed? The student who made the poster would like to have her photos back.
Something you want to talk about? Yeah, but Jennifer Love Hewitt might be more qualified.
How's that? I'm being haunted.
And she's the ghost whisperer.
These are the jokes.
Haunted? Yeah, by the kids who died in the bus crash.
I take it you don't see them? - No, Veronica, I don't.
- Good.
Neither do I.
Except come bedtime, the second I close my eyes, there they are acting like they're dying to tell me something.
We have Cervando, the academically inclined P.
C.
H.
Er Betina, Dick Casablancas' booty buddy Rhonda all I know about her so far is that she called her friend Michelle right before the crash.
Oh, Marcos, of "Ahoy, Mateys!" fame he had a pirate radio show.
I've been listening to it nonstop, hence the headphones.
And Peter, who generously posted the details of his unrequited gay love on neptunepirateship.
com.
So now we're like this.
And then there's Meg.
Actually, you might be able to help.
What do you know about a janitor named Lucky? Why? Meg had a lot to say about him.
This is so cool.
Yeah, it's just dreamy.
I really want to spend eternity like a plastic scuba diver in someone's fish tank.
So, Meg, what's with that guy, Lucky? Your parents' friend from church? Can't picture them wanting to set you up with someone.
They weren't outwardly setting us up.
They just kept having him over for dinner so he could talk about his four months in Iraq and how he took a shrapnel in the ass for America.
He'd quote the bible.
They'd point out how great he was.
Fun, fun, fun.
But you thought he was creepy.
Have you been reading my e-mails? My sister gave my computer files to Duncan, not you.
Those are my personal, intimate wait.
I forgot.
I'm dead.
In Veronica-land, no pulse, no privacy.
I'm trying to help.
Look, my parents think Lucky's a saint because he sings hymns with his eyes closed and he helped my dad move an air conditioner.
He's just a janitor at the high school he graduated from who buys beer for guys like Logan to hang on to his glory days.
But you know all this from my e-mails.
Veronica, when did these dreams start? A few days ago.
Michelle Thompson set up this booth in the hallway.
She's trying to raise money to buy a yearbook spread for every kid who died in the bus crash.
She's the one you should be talking to.
She has that wide-eyed "Margot Kidder in a bush" look.
Total nutjob.
I've already raised $200, and I've only been doing it for a day.
You know, if I raise enough, I might be able to get one of those audio chips, like the kind that play "happy birthday" when you open the card.
I know it's a bit much, but wouldn't it be great to hear them laughing and happy? What did michelle mean about hearing everybody laughing? Her friend Rhonda left a message for her right as she was going off the cliff.
I knew about that one.
That one? Turns out, Rhonda called Michelle's home first, left a message there, too.
When michelle told me about it, she said she could hear all the kids laughing on the bus.
So I asked if I could hear it.
I seriously cannot believe you're missing this.
I know you can hear.
Betina.
Hey, Betina! You ready for a little bow, chicka, wow, wow? You need to call me.
Did you hear your friend Meg? No, but I heard someone I know.
I'm sorry.
I guess it is upsetting.
More disturbing.
He wasn't on the bus.
You heard Dick Casablancas' voice.
Yep.
Even though there's no way he could have been on the bus at the time.
Freaky, huh? Did you tell your dad about this? Funny you should ask.
Michelle, why aren't you picking up? You big loser.
Rhonda? I can't believe you bailed on the field trip without telling me.
About next weekend Nooo! I'm fine.
It was just a bad dream.
Did you watch "House of Wax" again? You know that Hilton girl gives you nightmares.
Peter Ferrer Rhonda these are the kids who died on the bus.
Maybe this isn't the best bedtime reading.
Betina played these phone messages from Dick for everyone on the bus.
This was in the cd player.
And how did it get here? I willed it? You snuck onto the bus? Yeah, like you didn't? Veronica.
Why didn't you tell me about the drawing? I didn't see a drawing.
I was on the bus for a minute before security came in.
It was drawn on the back of one of the bus seats.
"I am god" "Because I have the power to put myself and my classmates in individual coffins.
" You think the person who drew this is responsible for the crash? I think it's possible.
The bus was brand-new.
There was no other graffiti.
Why nine tombstones? Eight people were killed in the crash.
I guess the artist wasn't expecting me to get off the bus.
Can I see the artwork? Oh, my.
One of the kids who died on the bus drew that.
I need to find out who.
Yep, I have no idea what compelled me to do that.
Is it because you're 5? I'm a little punchy.
I haven't been sleeping.
Thoughts of me? Hey, I get it.
Sometimes I'm up all night, just thinking about myself.
Do you know a guy named Lucky? He's one of the night janitors here.
Tommy Dominick? Yeah.
Why "Lucky"? Well, he graduates, and his parents file chapter 11.
He has to drop out of college.
He signs up for army rangers.
He gets sent to iraq.
And four months in, he gets shot.
And that makes him lucky? Hey, they shot him in the butt.
It could be worse.
You met him, too, you know.
Remember? Help I have done it again I have been here many times before Hey, Logan.
Is there a point to this story? Will you let me finish? Sheesh.
Ouch I have lost myself again Oh, good.
We have an audience.
Okay, lover boy, that's enough face-sucking for now.
We have things to do.
You're on a tight schedule of smoking pot and playing "Halo".
I can't wait to graduate.
Come on, man.
We're done screwing around.
The ball's in our court.
Someone's got to pay.
But after we make someone pay, we're gonna get high and play "Halo," right? Get it together, Dick.
Wrap this up.
I'll be there when I'm there.
Hold me Remind me why did we break up? You thought the other guy had greener grass.
Or was it something about me being too much man? No, wait! It was you.
You were too much man.
Hey! Hey! As I was saying, each team will design a device to protect an egg dropped from increasing heights.
The pair whose egg survives the highest drop will earn an "A" Plus the team will be excused from mr.
Wu's notorious, GPA-killin' final exam.
Mr.
Wu must really like his egg-drop soup.
Uh, does this assignment come with pot sticker? Students! This experiment is a major test grade.
For some of you, it means passing this class or not.
Dude, is mr.
Wu hitting on me? Okay, people, that does it.
I'm assigning your partners alphabetically.
Dick, it's bad idea for you and mr.
Echolls to be working together.
So bad it's good? No.
God, I don't know how I'm gonna quit you.
Shh! It's not me.
It's Wu.
Dick Casablancas, your new partner's Angie Dahl.
Score! Logan Echolls, you'll join Wallace Fennell.
Gentleman Dick at your service.
Foot massage? Coconut-oil rubdown? Just stay out of my way.
I need to be excused from the final exam.
Gonna get all superachiever on me, are you? I'm just trying to avoid flunking.
Hearst will yank my scholarship.
Excellent.
The bar is so low, we can step over it.
Just because you wiggle your finger doesn't mean Dick's gonna come.
"I know who you did last summer" Veronica Minx, what are you up to? Oh, you know, this, that, the other.
You ready for a little bow, chicka, wow, wow? Betina! Pick up, pick up, pick up, you little frickin' hottie.
Tell me about you and Betina.
Who? Uh, wait.
What? Everybody has their secret shame, "V.
" You get tanked at the wrong party, stumble a couple rungsdown the food chain.
You know how it is.
You dated that cop.
Patience dwindling.
Sometimes you don't need the prettiest horse, just one that lets you ride bareback.
Ever think maybe that was a little, I don't know, dangerous? What am I, stupid? She was on the pill.
I don't why you're in a bunch.
I don't hear her complaining.
You know she's dead, right? And she did complain.
She played your messages for the whole bus on the way home from shark field.
That's not a satisfied customer, Dick, that's a woman scorned.
Well, she had nothing to be scorned about.
I even gave her a little gift that day a sharks premium ticket package, my sharks memorabilia gift bag.
The tickets they raffled off? You didn't win the tickets.
I saw that gay kid who won them toss them in the trash, and I thought Betina might like them.
Or she could sell them for grocery money or whatever.
Pissed-off, white-trash booty buddy, free tickets.
It's a no-brainer.
Dad? Dad? Maureen? Hi.
I'm Veronica.
I'm helping michelle with the yearbook tribute.
I already gave her all the good pictures of Betina.
I know.
We were just wondering if you had any poems or artwork, something of Betina's that was more personal? Nothing she'd want in the yearbook.
Is there someone else I should ask, another friend, a boyfriend? She didn't have a boyfriend.
Oh.
I thought I saw her at a party once with Dick Casablancas.
Dick Casablancas is the bastard child of Satan.
Well, that would explain a lot.
I don't know what you heard, but he was horrible to Betina.
He treated her like a free hooker.
I know, she let him.
But it's my friendial obligation to blame it all on him.
I know Dick.
Blame him.
Betina just lost her mind over him.
The worse he treated her, the more she lapped up after him.
He was her ideal guy rich and completely indifferent to her.
The joke so would have been on him.
What do you mean? All he wanted was to mess around with her and have no one know.
And all she wanted was for him to knock her up so she could shout it from the rooftops.
What's with the t-shirts? You need help keeping us straight in your head? Straight? "Queer eye for the dead guy" has Petey wearing a rhinestone fricking rainbow! Seriously, ever heard of Butch? I have important information.
Don't we all? It's time for the bus to crash.
And here it comes Imitation crab.
The winner of this week's "Cock Of The Walk" countdown Don't leave them hanging, captain.
Is Logan Echolls.
That's 40 weeks running.
"Rosemary's baby the teen years.
" If at four feet, it survives, we pass.
Here goes nothing.
Mazel Tov.
Two passing grades, over easy.
I guess our work here is through.
Ah.
My buffalo burger has arrived.
Thank you.
Must be nice.
Not for the buffalo.
You don't like me much, do you? The last time we actually talked, you were bashing Veronica's headlights with a crowbar.
Oh, foreplay.
- Good evening.
- Wallace, have you met my fluffer? Did I see you at school today? I don't know.
Were you hallucinating? You were dressed in that exact snazzy outfit, which, if I'm not mistaken, is your dating uniform.
Is there some miss James rekindling I should know about? You've got mail from Stanford University.
It's a little anorexic for an acceptance letter.
Good news or bad, you know I'm proud of you.
"Dear ms.
Mars, it is with great pleasure that the admissions board at stanford university welcomes you to our institution.
" You did it, baby.
Veronica, Angie, thank you for coming in.
It turns out there's been an error in the calculations regarding the class rankings.
It seems to only affect the two of you, who remain in the running for the Kane scholarship.
An error? What what kind of error? Angie was awarded an "A" for the summer-at-sea elective she took.
It was a college-level course.
So rather than a 4-point "A," Angie should have been awarded a 5-point "A".
The adjusted grades have pushed Angie ahead of you.
You could have taken the class.
- It was open to anyone.
- Yeah? How much did that semester-at-sea class set you back? How should I know? Veronica, I know Angie Dahl.
And I don't think she's the witch you're painting her as.
She's a demon spawn.
Story of my life.
I get five minutes of thinking my dreams may come true, and then some rich kid slaps reality back into me.
So, how was last night? Any bad dreams? If I say no, do I have to keep coming back here? I'm still nonstop "Nightmare on Elm street".
And I haven't been able to figure out who drew the picture.
There is one silver lining.
My dad seems happy.
Well, that's wonderful, Veronica.
I'm very happy for him.
I'm glad you are in touch again.
Uh, we're not.
There's nothing about you that says second place.
Nothing but my GPA.
Angie Dahl's parents convinced the school board that the grades she purchased should be worth more than the ones I earned.
Oh, you need to shake this off.
Just work through it.
The lowest point of the ebb is the turn of the tide.
Don't quote.
Sorry.
I'm having a mexican standoff with the sandman.
He's winning.
When I die, I want you to raise money for my spread in vibe.
Oh, didn't I e-mail you? You're never allowed to die.
Would you look at that? The most innocent-looking picture is the girl who was hell on wheels.
Rhonda and her sister Natalie were in Clemmons' office all the time, always in trouble for huffing paint, stealing, fighting.
Anything to reinforce the PWT stereotype.
There's a "Pretty Young Thing" stereotype? Do I fit it? PWT Poor White Trash.
Oh, them.
So, can you point Rhonda's sister out to me after school? What else am I gonna do? "First name basis" is so much better than "it's just coffee".
Believe me.
I've tried all the services.
I like that I don't have to send out a picture.
I like not giving out my real name.
I mean, I sure wasn't disappointed when I saw you wander up.
You weren't disappointed when you saw me, were you? I wasn't.
I didn't think so.
In fact, I thought I saw a smile.
Am I right? Angie? Your mother has sent you something.
Apparently it's more important than my class.
Logan, you and Wallace are up.
I could rub your head for luck.
You could try.
Whoo! I'm in.
I got into Stanford.
All right! You can be roomies with Veronica Mars.
There's a pillow fight I'd like to see.
Veronica Mars got into Stanford? Yeah, Veronica Mars.
Stanford.
Well, I guess somebody has to do the football team.
Echolls/Fennell, you've got what all cruising seniors desire a passing grade.
If you'd like to aim higher tomorrow, I won't hold my breath.
I heard in dorms all the girls shower together.
Maybe you and Ronnie can soap each other's backs.
Mr.
Wu? I want another partner.
Dick is being inappropriate and didn't help with our project.
Dick? Dude, I totally helped.
Can you pick up your project, bring it to me? I'll see you in summer school, Dick.
What? Believe me, I'm no happier than you.
Congratulations.
You've single-handedly fulfilled the stanford bitch quota.
Enjoy trade school, Logan.
If you don't mind, I'm gonna keep working on the project.
Come by later.
I'm in.
What's time to a hog? All right I think that's Rhonda's sister.
Natalie.
Are you sure there's a "P" before that "WT"? That's definitely her.
She's driving a 'vette now.
Last year she offered to make out with me for cigarette money.
Hey, is this your car? No, it's my roller skate.
This is so cool.
I was thinking about moving up to a sweeter ride myself.
How does she handle? Better than the bus.
Yowza.
You can take the girl out of the trash, but you can't take the trash out of the girl.
Oh, the time and effort she saved me.
Why aren't you learning something? And a good day to you, too, sir.
I was thinking about some great advice you gave me.
Look both ways? Don't stick that in your nose? Follow the money.
Could you run the financial records of the families with kids who died in the crash? Will do.
Got to go.
Important meeting.
You know who you remind me of? That guy on "Seinfeld," George.
Oh, how so? Well, he's a nice guy, like you.
But there's so much unrealized potential.
A guy who really wants to meet women goes for it.
You know, he dresses to impress, a little cologne, a gym membership.
- You - should make more of an effort? My ex-husband went for a hair transplant.
He looked fantastic afterwards.
Cologne, new suit, hair.
I should probably write this stuff down.
We magnify the drag, decrease the velocity, minimize the force, and decelerate Decelerate yourself.
Four is officially your espresso limit.
So, I know why I'm trying to help out Veronica.
I want her to get to go to Stanford.
Why are you doing it? I don't know, not for Veronica.
Then what? The spirit of competition.
Yeah.
All right.
Why don't you chill while the glue dries? I got to see a man about a horse.
Look at the hurdles GM is trying to Tonight, "The Tinseltown Diaries" examines the rise and fall of one of hollywood's brightest stars.
Husband father adulterer cradle-robber murderer.
Who is the real Aaron Echolls? Wife Lynn's car was found stranded on the Coronado bridge, where she is assumed to have leapt to her death.
But it was his son's murdered girlfriend who would actually come back to haunt Aaron.
Rumors of Echolls sometimes they rerun it twice a day.
I hear it's a top-rated episode.
And son Logan's rocky relationship with the media and the law began last year when he organized and videotaped a series of Got something for me? The love in my heart, chili on the stove, oh, and I ran those financial records.
- I'm a great father.
- Mm-hmm.
None of the families of the crash victims made money on insurance.
They basically got enough just to pay for the funerals.
However, Rhonda's family won a separate lawsuit with a $2 million payout.
You'll never guess who from.
You're right.
I won't.
Woody Goodman.
Woody's burgers paid Rhonda's family a secret $2 million payout.
Apparently her mom found a finger in her ribwich.
Sometimes opportunity doesn't knock.
It waits for everyone to go to lunch and sneaks in using a key.
It's a long shot that my dead classmates will have something helpful in their permanent files, like being suspended for drawing on school property.
Sorry about the inconvenience.
It's one of my bad habits.
And Veronica won't let me buy nice sunglasses anymore because I'll lose them within the week.
- Making any headway in the case? - Slowly.
We've had three more cases diagnosed just this week of generalized anxiety disorder.
You'd think it was contagious.
And all these students are section 1123 now, all of them coming from the same doctor? Yep.
My faculty is about to revolt.
They're supposed to offer these students deadline extensions, makeup dates on exams, and unlimited time on tests, all at these students' own discretion.
I hope to have something you can use very soon.
My coat? Right.
It's in the closet.
Yep.
That's mine, all right.
I was one of those people saying, "Keith Mars should be run out of town", going after that sweet Jake Kane, making our nice little town look like Bozoville.
And then when I found out what really happened, I was so embarrassed.
I confess I never vote in the local elections, but I went out this year just so I could vote for you.
I totally carried the pity vote.
But enough about me.
Tell me about you.
Oh, it's dull.
Trust me.
I'm the office manager for a local doctor.
Really? I'd love to hear about it.
Peter, as I have learned from his postings, had in his words "yellow fever" and was extremely hot for a certain teacher.
There was one incident in Peter's permanent file.
It didn't say what happened, only that it involved mr.
Wu.
Can't help but wonder if teacher decided to take a pet.
Hello, Veronica.
Would you like to donate to the yearbook tribute for the kids on the bus? Of course.
I've been meaning to.
I figured.
Peter was a friend of mine.
I know you two had a connection.
I'm sorry for your loss.
You must miss him.
Do you miss him? As a bright and dedicated student, yes.
In the way I think you're implying, no.
Peter was gearing up for what he called the "outing of all outings".
I was wondering if he was pulling his favorite teacher out of the closet.
Veronica, I think when you get out in the world a little more, you'll discover that not all well-dressed, articulate, detail-oriented men are gay.
Many of them are just asian.
So, you knew Peter had feelings for you? Yes, I did.
He confessed these feelings to me on the unfortunate night we ran into each other at possibilities.
Why were you at a gay bar? Not that I need to explain myself to you, Veronica, but it was a cousin's birthday party.
I was being supportive.
I explained the situation to mr.
Clemmons.
I believe he has it all on file.
Sorry.
You're right.
None of my business.
Did Peter have any hobbies like drawing or painting? I thought he was your friend.
So, do you believe him? Mr.
Wuuu! Yes.
And I hate to disappoint you, but even if he were gay, I don't think it would qualify as the "outing of all outings".
You think you know me because you read my postings? Every line of your postings like 80 times.
I know you like the back of my - What's wrong? - Nothing.
You're asking the wrong question.
All right, maybe a better question is why was I even on the bus? Why would I even be interested in going to a baseball stadium? Huh? Mull that one over for a while, okay? One P.
C.
H.
Er died on the bus, Cervando Luna.
Grade-point average 3.
8 average trips to the principal's office per week 3.
2, including a visit during summer school for pushing Cassidy Casablancas against a wall and threatening him.
Busy Beaver, always working.
What's up, Veronica? During summer school, you had a run-in with a kid named Cervando? He ran me into a wall, if that's what you mean.
I'd dunk the eight ball a couple of times, jack up my fingers like I don't know how to hold the cue.
I see Liam all winking at his cousin, thinking he's got one.
Every time I made a shot, I'd be all excited, then act all scared like I was worried that he'd do something.
Check this out.
Courtesy of Liam Fitzpatrick being a sucker $200 jeans.
Look at these things.
I'm never taking them off.
Boom, boom, boom.
- Yo, man, you crazy? - Get out of here, Dick.
Cervando, you know, he's normally a pretty cool guy for a P.
C.
H.
Er, but But the next day, that dude, he was seriously on the warpath.
Dick's squirt gun was loaded with bleach.
You owe me a pair of jeans.
W- what are you talking about? Size, style, color.
But I didn't do anything.
It was Dick.
Well, I'm not telling him.
I'm telling you.
Gentlemen, that's quite enough.
Cervando, come with me.
I guess Dick was too big for him.
So he figured he'd settle the score with his little brother.
Story of my life.
What's this? It's a tape of dr.
Burns' office manager offering to hook Veronica up with a diagnosis of generalized anxiety disorder for a $1,000 consultation fee.
How did you get this? Painfully.
You got to kiss a lot of toads before you find your medical office manager.
Okay, folks, Angie Dahl is our only student to survive the 12-foot drop.
Mr.
Fennell, mr.
Echolls, you're our last remaining team still in the running for an exemption from mr.
Wu's notorious gpa-killing final exam, as well as the accompanying hardware.
Yeah! Do it! Yeah! Do it! Scramble.
That's awesome about the egg drop.
You ready for miss Murphy's "Crime and Punishment" exam? Nope.
I was up all night working on my egg thing.
I'm requesting an extension because of my generalized anxiety disorder.
Ahoy, Mateys! 540 on your A.
M.
Dial.
Listen Oh, am I still keeping you up at night? You look like Steve Buscemi.
You are such a catch.
How has Hannah been able to keep away? Maybe you should cut him some slack sometimes.
Attention, faculty and students.
I have an important announcement to make regarding school policy.
Due to some recently discovered abuses, Neptune high will no longer be honoring special exemptions or extensions for section 1123 students.
Veronica.
Veronica! Do you want to solve this problem, or do you want to sleep? How did you get home the day of the crash? Weevil? Hey, don't you think that's weird? The bomb didn't kill us.
It killed the driver, probably, but it was a long drop off the cliff, and crashing onto the rocks that got the rest of us.
FYI I made it through that.
I got to drown.
Say a person wants to just take out the bus driver.
They could do it here, here, here, basically anywhere along the way.
But to get the whole bus, they'd have to know when it was approaching a cliff.
They'd have to be close enough to see exactly where we were.
Hey, look.
He's bald.
You think it was Weevil? I am god.
What? I am god.
And that's our show, pirates and pi-ladies.
You've been listening to "Ahoy, Mateys!" This is Cap'n Krunk - And imitation crab - Signing off saying Arr! So, that's it? The tombstone artwork was just an album cover? And Rosebud was just a sled.
I didn't just ruin "Citizen Kane" for you, did I? No, no.
Good.
So, are we done? Well, that depends.
Do you think you're through being haunted? I better be.
I was thinking about the great advice I gave you about following the money.
The money wasn't on the bus.
The rich kids were behind, driving in the limo.
So, maybe whoever crashed the bus was counting on them being on it? Richard Casablancas took an insurance policy out on his sons three days after marrying Kendall.
Dick and Beaver are worth more dead than they are alive.
Kind of disappointing, huh? Not a suicide thing.
Just a song I liked.
That brings us back to you.
To me? It was a fun exercise, probably comforting for a while, thinking it's someone else's fault.
But it's not, is it? We died because of you.
Ooh, what do you think this means, Veronica? Think I got what it takes for art school? It's for you.
Where are you, loser?
The school counselor would like to see you.
You were sleeping in class.
Mrs.
Taft said she's reprimanded you three times for wearing headphones while she was teaching.
She's reading "The Golden Bowl" aloud with a fake english accent.
You were caught ripping down another student's poster.
Am I being followed? The student who made the poster would like to have her photos back.
Something you want to talk about? Yeah, but Jennifer Love Hewitt might be more qualified.
How's that? I'm being haunted.
And she's the ghost whisperer.
These are the jokes.
Haunted? Yeah, by the kids who died in the bus crash.
I take it you don't see them? - No, Veronica, I don't.
- Good.
Neither do I.
Except come bedtime, the second I close my eyes, there they are acting like they're dying to tell me something.
We have Cervando, the academically inclined P.
C.
H.
Er Betina, Dick Casablancas' booty buddy Rhonda all I know about her so far is that she called her friend Michelle right before the crash.
Oh, Marcos, of "Ahoy, Mateys!" fame he had a pirate radio show.
I've been listening to it nonstop, hence the headphones.
And Peter, who generously posted the details of his unrequited gay love on neptunepirateship.
com.
So now we're like this.
And then there's Meg.
Actually, you might be able to help.
What do you know about a janitor named Lucky? Why? Meg had a lot to say about him.
This is so cool.
Yeah, it's just dreamy.
I really want to spend eternity like a plastic scuba diver in someone's fish tank.
So, Meg, what's with that guy, Lucky? Your parents' friend from church? Can't picture them wanting to set you up with someone.
They weren't outwardly setting us up.
They just kept having him over for dinner so he could talk about his four months in Iraq and how he took a shrapnel in the ass for America.
He'd quote the bible.
They'd point out how great he was.
Fun, fun, fun.
But you thought he was creepy.
Have you been reading my e-mails? My sister gave my computer files to Duncan, not you.
Those are my personal, intimate wait.
I forgot.
I'm dead.
In Veronica-land, no pulse, no privacy.
I'm trying to help.
Look, my parents think Lucky's a saint because he sings hymns with his eyes closed and he helped my dad move an air conditioner.
He's just a janitor at the high school he graduated from who buys beer for guys like Logan to hang on to his glory days.
But you know all this from my e-mails.
Veronica, when did these dreams start? A few days ago.
Michelle Thompson set up this booth in the hallway.
She's trying to raise money to buy a yearbook spread for every kid who died in the bus crash.
She's the one you should be talking to.
She has that wide-eyed "Margot Kidder in a bush" look.
Total nutjob.
I've already raised $200, and I've only been doing it for a day.
You know, if I raise enough, I might be able to get one of those audio chips, like the kind that play "happy birthday" when you open the card.
I know it's a bit much, but wouldn't it be great to hear them laughing and happy? What did michelle mean about hearing everybody laughing? Her friend Rhonda left a message for her right as she was going off the cliff.
I knew about that one.
That one? Turns out, Rhonda called Michelle's home first, left a message there, too.
When michelle told me about it, she said she could hear all the kids laughing on the bus.
So I asked if I could hear it.
I seriously cannot believe you're missing this.
I know you can hear.
Betina.
Hey, Betina! You ready for a little bow, chicka, wow, wow? You need to call me.
Did you hear your friend Meg? No, but I heard someone I know.
I'm sorry.
I guess it is upsetting.
More disturbing.
He wasn't on the bus.
You heard Dick Casablancas' voice.
Yep.
Even though there's no way he could have been on the bus at the time.
Freaky, huh? Did you tell your dad about this? Funny you should ask.
Michelle, why aren't you picking up? You big loser.
Rhonda? I can't believe you bailed on the field trip without telling me.
About next weekend Nooo! I'm fine.
It was just a bad dream.
Did you watch "House of Wax" again? You know that Hilton girl gives you nightmares.
Peter Ferrer Rhonda these are the kids who died on the bus.
Maybe this isn't the best bedtime reading.
Betina played these phone messages from Dick for everyone on the bus.
This was in the cd player.
And how did it get here? I willed it? You snuck onto the bus? Yeah, like you didn't? Veronica.
Why didn't you tell me about the drawing? I didn't see a drawing.
I was on the bus for a minute before security came in.
It was drawn on the back of one of the bus seats.
"I am god" "Because I have the power to put myself and my classmates in individual coffins.
" You think the person who drew this is responsible for the crash? I think it's possible.
The bus was brand-new.
There was no other graffiti.
Why nine tombstones? Eight people were killed in the crash.
I guess the artist wasn't expecting me to get off the bus.
Can I see the artwork? Oh, my.
One of the kids who died on the bus drew that.
I need to find out who.
Yep, I have no idea what compelled me to do that.
Is it because you're 5? I'm a little punchy.
I haven't been sleeping.
Thoughts of me? Hey, I get it.
Sometimes I'm up all night, just thinking about myself.
Do you know a guy named Lucky? He's one of the night janitors here.
Tommy Dominick? Yeah.
Why "Lucky"? Well, he graduates, and his parents file chapter 11.
He has to drop out of college.
He signs up for army rangers.
He gets sent to iraq.
And four months in, he gets shot.
And that makes him lucky? Hey, they shot him in the butt.
It could be worse.
You met him, too, you know.
Remember? Help I have done it again I have been here many times before Hey, Logan.
Is there a point to this story? Will you let me finish? Sheesh.
Ouch I have lost myself again Oh, good.
We have an audience.
Okay, lover boy, that's enough face-sucking for now.
We have things to do.
You're on a tight schedule of smoking pot and playing "Halo".
I can't wait to graduate.
Come on, man.
We're done screwing around.
The ball's in our court.
Someone's got to pay.
But after we make someone pay, we're gonna get high and play "Halo," right? Get it together, Dick.
Wrap this up.
I'll be there when I'm there.
Hold me Remind me why did we break up? You thought the other guy had greener grass.
Or was it something about me being too much man? No, wait! It was you.
You were too much man.
Hey! Hey! As I was saying, each team will design a device to protect an egg dropped from increasing heights.
The pair whose egg survives the highest drop will earn an "A" Plus the team will be excused from mr.
Wu's notorious, GPA-killin' final exam.
Mr.
Wu must really like his egg-drop soup.
Uh, does this assignment come with pot sticker? Students! This experiment is a major test grade.
For some of you, it means passing this class or not.
Dude, is mr.
Wu hitting on me? Okay, people, that does it.
I'm assigning your partners alphabetically.
Dick, it's bad idea for you and mr.
Echolls to be working together.
So bad it's good? No.
God, I don't know how I'm gonna quit you.
Shh! It's not me.
It's Wu.
Dick Casablancas, your new partner's Angie Dahl.
Score! Logan Echolls, you'll join Wallace Fennell.
Gentleman Dick at your service.
Foot massage? Coconut-oil rubdown? Just stay out of my way.
I need to be excused from the final exam.
Gonna get all superachiever on me, are you? I'm just trying to avoid flunking.
Hearst will yank my scholarship.
Excellent.
The bar is so low, we can step over it.
Just because you wiggle your finger doesn't mean Dick's gonna come.
"I know who you did last summer" Veronica Minx, what are you up to? Oh, you know, this, that, the other.
You ready for a little bow, chicka, wow, wow? Betina! Pick up, pick up, pick up, you little frickin' hottie.
Tell me about you and Betina.
Who? Uh, wait.
What? Everybody has their secret shame, "V.
" You get tanked at the wrong party, stumble a couple rungsdown the food chain.
You know how it is.
You dated that cop.
Patience dwindling.
Sometimes you don't need the prettiest horse, just one that lets you ride bareback.
Ever think maybe that was a little, I don't know, dangerous? What am I, stupid? She was on the pill.
I don't why you're in a bunch.
I don't hear her complaining.
You know she's dead, right? And she did complain.
She played your messages for the whole bus on the way home from shark field.
That's not a satisfied customer, Dick, that's a woman scorned.
Well, she had nothing to be scorned about.
I even gave her a little gift that day a sharks premium ticket package, my sharks memorabilia gift bag.
The tickets they raffled off? You didn't win the tickets.
I saw that gay kid who won them toss them in the trash, and I thought Betina might like them.
Or she could sell them for grocery money or whatever.
Pissed-off, white-trash booty buddy, free tickets.
It's a no-brainer.
Dad? Dad? Maureen? Hi.
I'm Veronica.
I'm helping michelle with the yearbook tribute.
I already gave her all the good pictures of Betina.
I know.
We were just wondering if you had any poems or artwork, something of Betina's that was more personal? Nothing she'd want in the yearbook.
Is there someone else I should ask, another friend, a boyfriend? She didn't have a boyfriend.
Oh.
I thought I saw her at a party once with Dick Casablancas.
Dick Casablancas is the bastard child of Satan.
Well, that would explain a lot.
I don't know what you heard, but he was horrible to Betina.
He treated her like a free hooker.
I know, she let him.
But it's my friendial obligation to blame it all on him.
I know Dick.
Blame him.
Betina just lost her mind over him.
The worse he treated her, the more she lapped up after him.
He was her ideal guy rich and completely indifferent to her.
The joke so would have been on him.
What do you mean? All he wanted was to mess around with her and have no one know.
And all she wanted was for him to knock her up so she could shout it from the rooftops.
What's with the t-shirts? You need help keeping us straight in your head? Straight? "Queer eye for the dead guy" has Petey wearing a rhinestone fricking rainbow! Seriously, ever heard of Butch? I have important information.
Don't we all? It's time for the bus to crash.
And here it comes Imitation crab.
The winner of this week's "Cock Of The Walk" countdown Don't leave them hanging, captain.
Is Logan Echolls.
That's 40 weeks running.
"Rosemary's baby the teen years.
" If at four feet, it survives, we pass.
Here goes nothing.
Mazel Tov.
Two passing grades, over easy.
I guess our work here is through.
Ah.
My buffalo burger has arrived.
Thank you.
Must be nice.
Not for the buffalo.
You don't like me much, do you? The last time we actually talked, you were bashing Veronica's headlights with a crowbar.
Oh, foreplay.
- Good evening.
- Wallace, have you met my fluffer? Did I see you at school today? I don't know.
Were you hallucinating? You were dressed in that exact snazzy outfit, which, if I'm not mistaken, is your dating uniform.
Is there some miss James rekindling I should know about? You've got mail from Stanford University.
It's a little anorexic for an acceptance letter.
Good news or bad, you know I'm proud of you.
"Dear ms.
Mars, it is with great pleasure that the admissions board at stanford university welcomes you to our institution.
" You did it, baby.
Veronica, Angie, thank you for coming in.
It turns out there's been an error in the calculations regarding the class rankings.
It seems to only affect the two of you, who remain in the running for the Kane scholarship.
An error? What what kind of error? Angie was awarded an "A" for the summer-at-sea elective she took.
It was a college-level course.
So rather than a 4-point "A," Angie should have been awarded a 5-point "A".
The adjusted grades have pushed Angie ahead of you.
You could have taken the class.
- It was open to anyone.
- Yeah? How much did that semester-at-sea class set you back? How should I know? Veronica, I know Angie Dahl.
And I don't think she's the witch you're painting her as.
She's a demon spawn.
Story of my life.
I get five minutes of thinking my dreams may come true, and then some rich kid slaps reality back into me.
So, how was last night? Any bad dreams? If I say no, do I have to keep coming back here? I'm still nonstop "Nightmare on Elm street".
And I haven't been able to figure out who drew the picture.
There is one silver lining.
My dad seems happy.
Well, that's wonderful, Veronica.
I'm very happy for him.
I'm glad you are in touch again.
Uh, we're not.
There's nothing about you that says second place.
Nothing but my GPA.
Angie Dahl's parents convinced the school board that the grades she purchased should be worth more than the ones I earned.
Oh, you need to shake this off.
Just work through it.
The lowest point of the ebb is the turn of the tide.
Don't quote.
Sorry.
I'm having a mexican standoff with the sandman.
He's winning.
When I die, I want you to raise money for my spread in vibe.
Oh, didn't I e-mail you? You're never allowed to die.
Would you look at that? The most innocent-looking picture is the girl who was hell on wheels.
Rhonda and her sister Natalie were in Clemmons' office all the time, always in trouble for huffing paint, stealing, fighting.
Anything to reinforce the PWT stereotype.
There's a "Pretty Young Thing" stereotype? Do I fit it? PWT Poor White Trash.
Oh, them.
So, can you point Rhonda's sister out to me after school? What else am I gonna do? "First name basis" is so much better than "it's just coffee".
Believe me.
I've tried all the services.
I like that I don't have to send out a picture.
I like not giving out my real name.
I mean, I sure wasn't disappointed when I saw you wander up.
You weren't disappointed when you saw me, were you? I wasn't.
I didn't think so.
In fact, I thought I saw a smile.
Am I right? Angie? Your mother has sent you something.
Apparently it's more important than my class.
Logan, you and Wallace are up.
I could rub your head for luck.
You could try.
Whoo! I'm in.
I got into Stanford.
All right! You can be roomies with Veronica Mars.
There's a pillow fight I'd like to see.
Veronica Mars got into Stanford? Yeah, Veronica Mars.
Stanford.
Well, I guess somebody has to do the football team.
Echolls/Fennell, you've got what all cruising seniors desire a passing grade.
If you'd like to aim higher tomorrow, I won't hold my breath.
I heard in dorms all the girls shower together.
Maybe you and Ronnie can soap each other's backs.
Mr.
Wu? I want another partner.
Dick is being inappropriate and didn't help with our project.
Dick? Dude, I totally helped.
Can you pick up your project, bring it to me? I'll see you in summer school, Dick.
What? Believe me, I'm no happier than you.
Congratulations.
You've single-handedly fulfilled the stanford bitch quota.
Enjoy trade school, Logan.
If you don't mind, I'm gonna keep working on the project.
Come by later.
I'm in.
What's time to a hog? All right I think that's Rhonda's sister.
Natalie.
Are you sure there's a "P" before that "WT"? That's definitely her.
She's driving a 'vette now.
Last year she offered to make out with me for cigarette money.
Hey, is this your car? No, it's my roller skate.
This is so cool.
I was thinking about moving up to a sweeter ride myself.
How does she handle? Better than the bus.
Yowza.
You can take the girl out of the trash, but you can't take the trash out of the girl.
Oh, the time and effort she saved me.
Why aren't you learning something? And a good day to you, too, sir.
I was thinking about some great advice you gave me.
Look both ways? Don't stick that in your nose? Follow the money.
Could you run the financial records of the families with kids who died in the crash? Will do.
Got to go.
Important meeting.
You know who you remind me of? That guy on "Seinfeld," George.
Oh, how so? Well, he's a nice guy, like you.
But there's so much unrealized potential.
A guy who really wants to meet women goes for it.
You know, he dresses to impress, a little cologne, a gym membership.
- You - should make more of an effort? My ex-husband went for a hair transplant.
He looked fantastic afterwards.
Cologne, new suit, hair.
I should probably write this stuff down.
We magnify the drag, decrease the velocity, minimize the force, and decelerate Decelerate yourself.
Four is officially your espresso limit.
So, I know why I'm trying to help out Veronica.
I want her to get to go to Stanford.
Why are you doing it? I don't know, not for Veronica.
Then what? The spirit of competition.
Yeah.
All right.
Why don't you chill while the glue dries? I got to see a man about a horse.
Look at the hurdles GM is trying to Tonight, "The Tinseltown Diaries" examines the rise and fall of one of hollywood's brightest stars.
Husband father adulterer cradle-robber murderer.
Who is the real Aaron Echolls? Wife Lynn's car was found stranded on the Coronado bridge, where she is assumed to have leapt to her death.
But it was his son's murdered girlfriend who would actually come back to haunt Aaron.
Rumors of Echolls sometimes they rerun it twice a day.
I hear it's a top-rated episode.
And son Logan's rocky relationship with the media and the law began last year when he organized and videotaped a series of Got something for me? The love in my heart, chili on the stove, oh, and I ran those financial records.
- I'm a great father.
- Mm-hmm.
None of the families of the crash victims made money on insurance.
They basically got enough just to pay for the funerals.
However, Rhonda's family won a separate lawsuit with a $2 million payout.
You'll never guess who from.
You're right.
I won't.
Woody Goodman.
Woody's burgers paid Rhonda's family a secret $2 million payout.
Apparently her mom found a finger in her ribwich.
Sometimes opportunity doesn't knock.
It waits for everyone to go to lunch and sneaks in using a key.
It's a long shot that my dead classmates will have something helpful in their permanent files, like being suspended for drawing on school property.
Sorry about the inconvenience.
It's one of my bad habits.
And Veronica won't let me buy nice sunglasses anymore because I'll lose them within the week.
- Making any headway in the case? - Slowly.
We've had three more cases diagnosed just this week of generalized anxiety disorder.
You'd think it was contagious.
And all these students are section 1123 now, all of them coming from the same doctor? Yep.
My faculty is about to revolt.
They're supposed to offer these students deadline extensions, makeup dates on exams, and unlimited time on tests, all at these students' own discretion.
I hope to have something you can use very soon.
My coat? Right.
It's in the closet.
Yep.
That's mine, all right.
I was one of those people saying, "Keith Mars should be run out of town", going after that sweet Jake Kane, making our nice little town look like Bozoville.
And then when I found out what really happened, I was so embarrassed.
I confess I never vote in the local elections, but I went out this year just so I could vote for you.
I totally carried the pity vote.
But enough about me.
Tell me about you.
Oh, it's dull.
Trust me.
I'm the office manager for a local doctor.
Really? I'd love to hear about it.
Peter, as I have learned from his postings, had in his words "yellow fever" and was extremely hot for a certain teacher.
There was one incident in Peter's permanent file.
It didn't say what happened, only that it involved mr.
Wu.
Can't help but wonder if teacher decided to take a pet.
Hello, Veronica.
Would you like to donate to the yearbook tribute for the kids on the bus? Of course.
I've been meaning to.
I figured.
Peter was a friend of mine.
I know you two had a connection.
I'm sorry for your loss.
You must miss him.
Do you miss him? As a bright and dedicated student, yes.
In the way I think you're implying, no.
Peter was gearing up for what he called the "outing of all outings".
I was wondering if he was pulling his favorite teacher out of the closet.
Veronica, I think when you get out in the world a little more, you'll discover that not all well-dressed, articulate, detail-oriented men are gay.
Many of them are just asian.
So, you knew Peter had feelings for you? Yes, I did.
He confessed these feelings to me on the unfortunate night we ran into each other at possibilities.
Why were you at a gay bar? Not that I need to explain myself to you, Veronica, but it was a cousin's birthday party.
I was being supportive.
I explained the situation to mr.
Clemmons.
I believe he has it all on file.
Sorry.
You're right.
None of my business.
Did Peter have any hobbies like drawing or painting? I thought he was your friend.
So, do you believe him? Mr.
Wuuu! Yes.
And I hate to disappoint you, but even if he were gay, I don't think it would qualify as the "outing of all outings".
You think you know me because you read my postings? Every line of your postings like 80 times.
I know you like the back of my - What's wrong? - Nothing.
You're asking the wrong question.
All right, maybe a better question is why was I even on the bus? Why would I even be interested in going to a baseball stadium? Huh? Mull that one over for a while, okay? One P.
C.
H.
Er died on the bus, Cervando Luna.
Grade-point average 3.
8 average trips to the principal's office per week 3.
2, including a visit during summer school for pushing Cassidy Casablancas against a wall and threatening him.
Busy Beaver, always working.
What's up, Veronica? During summer school, you had a run-in with a kid named Cervando? He ran me into a wall, if that's what you mean.
I'd dunk the eight ball a couple of times, jack up my fingers like I don't know how to hold the cue.
I see Liam all winking at his cousin, thinking he's got one.
Every time I made a shot, I'd be all excited, then act all scared like I was worried that he'd do something.
Check this out.
Courtesy of Liam Fitzpatrick being a sucker $200 jeans.
Look at these things.
I'm never taking them off.
Boom, boom, boom.
- Yo, man, you crazy? - Get out of here, Dick.
Cervando, you know, he's normally a pretty cool guy for a P.
C.
H.
Er, but But the next day, that dude, he was seriously on the warpath.
Dick's squirt gun was loaded with bleach.
You owe me a pair of jeans.
W- what are you talking about? Size, style, color.
But I didn't do anything.
It was Dick.
Well, I'm not telling him.
I'm telling you.
Gentlemen, that's quite enough.
Cervando, come with me.
I guess Dick was too big for him.
So he figured he'd settle the score with his little brother.
Story of my life.
What's this? It's a tape of dr.
Burns' office manager offering to hook Veronica up with a diagnosis of generalized anxiety disorder for a $1,000 consultation fee.
How did you get this? Painfully.
You got to kiss a lot of toads before you find your medical office manager.
Okay, folks, Angie Dahl is our only student to survive the 12-foot drop.
Mr.
Fennell, mr.
Echolls, you're our last remaining team still in the running for an exemption from mr.
Wu's notorious gpa-killing final exam, as well as the accompanying hardware.
Yeah! Do it! Yeah! Do it! Scramble.
That's awesome about the egg drop.
You ready for miss Murphy's "Crime and Punishment" exam? Nope.
I was up all night working on my egg thing.
I'm requesting an extension because of my generalized anxiety disorder.
Ahoy, Mateys! 540 on your A.
M.
Dial.
Listen Oh, am I still keeping you up at night? You look like Steve Buscemi.
You are such a catch.
How has Hannah been able to keep away? Maybe you should cut him some slack sometimes.
Attention, faculty and students.
I have an important announcement to make regarding school policy.
Due to some recently discovered abuses, Neptune high will no longer be honoring special exemptions or extensions for section 1123 students.
Veronica.
Veronica! Do you want to solve this problem, or do you want to sleep? How did you get home the day of the crash? Weevil? Hey, don't you think that's weird? The bomb didn't kill us.
It killed the driver, probably, but it was a long drop off the cliff, and crashing onto the rocks that got the rest of us.
FYI I made it through that.
I got to drown.
Say a person wants to just take out the bus driver.
They could do it here, here, here, basically anywhere along the way.
But to get the whole bus, they'd have to know when it was approaching a cliff.
They'd have to be close enough to see exactly where we were.
Hey, look.
He's bald.
You think it was Weevil? I am god.
What? I am god.
And that's our show, pirates and pi-ladies.
You've been listening to "Ahoy, Mateys!" This is Cap'n Krunk - And imitation crab - Signing off saying Arr! So, that's it? The tombstone artwork was just an album cover? And Rosebud was just a sled.
I didn't just ruin "Citizen Kane" for you, did I? No, no.
Good.
So, are we done? Well, that depends.
Do you think you're through being haunted? I better be.
I was thinking about the great advice I gave you about following the money.
The money wasn't on the bus.
The rich kids were behind, driving in the limo.
So, maybe whoever crashed the bus was counting on them being on it? Richard Casablancas took an insurance policy out on his sons three days after marrying Kendall.
Dick and Beaver are worth more dead than they are alive.
Kind of disappointing, huh? Not a suicide thing.
Just a song I liked.
That brings us back to you.
To me? It was a fun exercise, probably comforting for a while, thinking it's someone else's fault.
But it's not, is it? We died because of you.
Ooh, what do you think this means, Veronica? Think I got what it takes for art school? It's for you.
Where are you, loser?