Ally Mcbeal s02e19 Episode Script

John! Come to fetch me for the staff meeting? Getting Barry White.
How'd you do that? A few strings.
With a little help from Ling.
Ling? She has a way of making things happen.
I want you to know that was the high point of my life.
I wouldn't share that with people.
I said I couldn't fall for you.
I was wrong.
- John- - I've reconsidered my position.
Of all the ways to a man's heart delivering Barry White isn't how I want to get there.
Could we just, uh go out on a date? I have a big case.
My romantic muscle doesn't engage when I'm in trial.
She didn't notice the change.
Let's Dance - No.
No! No! - Yes.
Yes! Yes! - I won't be window dressing.
- You'll be busy.
This case offends me.
I don't want it.
And Nelle- I'm disappointed in you.
There goes my self-esteem.
I live for your approval.
- Kidding.
- Ally, this is high-profile.
- They discriminate against women! - I love women.
We all do.
If you're starting a law firm and could choose between a man and a woman Come on.
- Come on, what? - Ally, come on.
- Come on, what? - Well, women The period.
Three days of sub-performance.
PMS, a day.
Add 3.
2 more hours a month women spend in the bathroom The single ones, all they want is a man, and- Ally, maybe we should introduce you as an exhibit.
What about Georgia? She could sit at your table.
Georgia's busy.
We don't want to impose on Georgia.
- I love this.
- I can do it.
Is there something I don't know? Our defense is out there.
I'm the best for couching bizarre arguments within- - Defense? - Women are inferior.
Made that way by God.
Oh, God.
Bygones.
Off we go.
- Any messages? - No.
- Elaine? - I said no.
Could you look at me, please? - What's wrong? - Nothing.
- Elaine.
- It's- It's stupid.
Tell me.
I've been training for a dance contest.
My partner tore his ankle.
He's out.
It's no big deal, but I- - Can't we get you a new partner? - By tomorrow? I'm embarrassed to be crying about it.
I'm sorry.
It's stupid.
I was there five years when I got pregnant.
And you continued to work while pregnant? Till my eighth month.
- And returned? - In four months.
When you returned? I assumed I'd be reinstated to the partnership track.
Later, I was told partnership wasn't in my future.
And this wasn't related to your work? It's because I'm a mother.
I'm sorry, I'm trying to follow.
Are you a bad mother? I certainly am not.
- You'll get a turn.
- T o be a mother? Sit! Withholding partnership was punitive.
They told me I'd make it.
After I have a child, they say that I won't.
This happened to six women at the firm.
When he asked if you were a bad mother, you shot it down quickly.
It isn't true.
- You make her breakfast? - Yes.
- Drive her to school? - I do.
- You're home by dinner? - Yes.
- You even go home for lunch.
- Yes.
Before, you were in by 7, you worked through lunch you'd stay till 9 on average.
Am I right? Things change once you have kids.
Right.
Things changed from when my client said partnership was likely.
I worked very hard.
- But you did put in less hours? - I'm a parent.
You can't disqualify someone from partnership because she's a mother.
How about basing the decision on the hours put in on the job? Is that discrimination too? I'm not defending kissing Ally.
I'm just saying - Did he say it? - I'm not a criminal! I kissed.
I didn't- - You're defending yourself.
- I'm mitigating! I'm not defending! Males are driven to want sex.
Are you gonna jump in? - Want me to? - Yes.
- I'd kick your ass.
- You should be neutral! - This is me neutral.
You're awful.
- All right.
Not just to Georgia.
To confess after, like some little wimp- Please, don't get me started.
Am I gonna get a fair trial with her? I've called every swing class.
Maybe there's a teacher- Anybody good enough is competing.
But thanks.
- There has to be someone.
- I can swing.
I used to do it with my dad.
- You can swing? - Don't you know I can do anything? Well, can- Can you enter two women? It's couples, but a transvestite danced last year.
- Have you ever dressed as a man? - Oh, God, no.
That's just- - Well, you've got nothing to lose.
- I'll coach.
You've danced before- Wait.
I can't dance with- Elaine! The idea sent your spirits up.
Didn't you hear your voice? Why not try? You could at least qualify.
By competition time, your partner will be back.
Seven women, all disqualified once they got pregnant.
How can we go to verdict? They could no longer do the work.
- Since they had kids? - Yes.
- You find this acceptable? - Why wouldn't I? - Don't you worry, one day when you- - When I what? Don't you ever plan to be with child? Is that a given to you? Every woman one day wants to get pregnant? Yes.
Well, here's a flash: Not all of us do.
What? - Not ever? - No.
- What? - Just, the first time I saw you all I could think of was perpetuating your genes.
I don't want kids.
Sorry.
I need to take a moment.
Me too.
What's he doing? He's just getting ready for trial.
Probably hearing bells.
John? Bells? I'm sure it's bells.
See? I heard.
- John.
- Renee.
- What? - Nothing.
You look different.
- Maybe it's turning 35.
- You see the change.
The change? What change? Perhaps we should go out.
- If you think you're woman enough.
- Woman enough? So is it a date or not? Well, yes, it is.
I'm in trial.
I'll confirm later.
So how's the sex? - Excuse me? - How is it? Every therapist talks sex.
Freud's a perv.
It's not a tough question.
How is the sex? Sex is very symptomatic.
No details.
Just say good, bad, indifferent, whatever.
I'd say "indifferent.
" Georgia? I'd call it "whatever.
" We do have a problem.
You first.
Dish.
Something off with your male genetic penis? - It's a woman's right.
- But? Once they do, priorities change.
And not for the firm's good.
Certainly you appreciate the demands of motherhood.
Yes.
As I can the demands of writing a novel or combating terminal disease, or building a house.
There's a lot they can do at home.
I only care about their work.
You find once a woman is a mother- They put in shorter, less productive hours.
They're less reliable.
I've had buyouts held up by croup.
Priorities shift.
Hers did.
You can't accommodate it? I wish.
Do you know how hard it is to compete as a law firm today? Can you tell us? Associates are billing with partners working weekends.
If I made exceptions for mothers the men could sue me for discrimination.
What about fathers who scale back? They won't become partners either.
It's a life choice.
They want to be mothers, fine.
I get it.
I admire it.
It's time better spent.
But my business must be a meritocracy.
Why should I have to say, "Woman, mother.
Special treatment"? Did you ask if she had plans to start a family? No.
The law doesn't allow me to ask.
T o be safe, you favor hiring men? They won't get pregnant.
If she's smarter, I'll hire her.
- Otherwise, I'll take the man.
But- - You answered my question.
I object to these sneaky attempts to twist his words.
This woman is a sneaky, wily, word twister.
Objection! Sorry.
It's noise-activated.
Evidently that booming objection- Mr.
Cage! Could I make one small suggestion? Throw money at her.
I don't want to settle.
You went against women in general.
In analysis, you're dead.
He's not, they still haven't made their burden.
- Did you hear his testimony? - Did you? The feminist's next.
See how we do.
- Fine.
- Fine.
Five, six, seven, eight.
Do we wing it, or should we do it in unison? - A bit of both.
- She's good! You're good! I told you I was good.
Oh- I'm getting tired.
My wind's a problem.
Big Bad Voodoo Daddy is the band.
It'll be up-tempo.
- I've changed my mind.
- What? I forgot this involves sweating.
You're good enough.
We might- I wanted to help, but I'm getting lung burn.
I feel a blister bubbling.
I was wrong.
I can't do everything.
I know it's natural for couples for the passion to wane.
- Yours just ended.
- My passion? The last time we had sex out of bed? Or three times in the same week? - The last time I didn't initiate it? - Why's that suddenly a problem? You don't like when I'm always grabbing your ass.
You never grab mine.
In your mind, this is connected to Ally but I'm lost.
There's an erosion between Georgia and me.
I ask myself, does it happen with all couples? And Ally and me, that's the only other I can compare.
And you and I- And she was I wondered whether there would be an erosion- I think- Or I wonder whether my kissing her had something to do with my fear of losing you.
Sorry.
I need to meet Ally.
- What? - Why? I have a theory I'm working on.
It would really help me.
A lot.
- Her name is Margaret Camaro.
- She is? The next witness.
And the country's best women's rights advocate.
She'll do a good job of painting our client as a chauvinist.
How is she relevant? They' re evading his employment patterns.
- I'll poke check.
- Read my lips.
- Settle.
- John - If you can't be productive- - Part of that is seeing straight.
I am.
Thank you.
- Why are you being so dogmatic? - I'm not being dogmatic! He doesn't want to settle.
I'm not afraid of her.
I'm good with tough women.
- You've come to beg.
- You know how that hurts.
- Yes.
- This is so important to her.
- Don't ask me why.
It is.
- She bugs me.
Everybody bugs you.
Listen, we- We're lawyers.
We get to go to court and do important things.
And think of Elaine.
There's a reason she's out there inventing face bras and glow-in-the-dark condoms.
I'm producing her infomercial.
You know what I mean.
It's Elaine.
There's something a little pathetic there.
And this contest can help her I don't know, I don't know- Feel good about herself.
Elaine! I checked.
No feet.
Yes.
Well, pathetic Elaine keeps her legs hoisted all the time.
She's just feeling lucky to have you as a friend.
I'm nervous about you cross-examining this witness.
Why does everybody doubt me? An angry feminist has a heightened acuity.
I can handle vicious women.
Look at Ling.
While on that subject This knee pit thing you do.
What about it? - I have a date tonight with Renee.
- What? - You and Renee? - T each me the maneuver.
The pit maneuver can be dangerous.
Just show me, damn it! I was trying to convince Ling to dance.
- You were very persuasive.
- Elaine, I I'll tell you this: I have never asked for your pity.
I won't accept your pity.
I won't tolerate it.
- I don't pity you.
- Don't insult me further by lying.
You know what your problem is? You're an elitist snob.
- Do you really believe that? - Do I believe you're malicious? No.
I realize you were trying to help and it was out of compassion.
You don't realize not everybody wants to be a lawyer.
Or a professional.
I like my job.
I like being a secretary.
I like that I have free time to do things.
T o dance, to invent my stupid face bras.
And I'm really sorry to disappoint you but I like my life.
If that's true, and Ling is willing you should dance.
It's easy to conclude a mother can't compete equally.
But it goes to the assumption that one must put in 14-hour days to succeed at work.
Defense contends it's a reality.
Yes, a reality cultivated by men in a male-dominated workplace.
The fact is, women do become mothers.
You say the requirement of a Absolutely.
It's de facto discrimination.
It used to be people balanced two worlds: work and home.
We've seen a shift to an imbalance.
It excludes women who want to be mothers.
That imbalance has been propagated by men.
Do you do well in the workplace? Yes, but I don't have children.
- You do look like a man, do you not? - Excuse me? - Skip it.
Are you gay? - Objection! Nothing against lesbians.
Put two together, and- Counsel! A lot of lesbians, in denying or accounting for it attribute not liking men to men being evil.
They hate them.
It colors their opinions.
It can color testimony.
It bears on credibility.
She could be a man-hater.
The court deserves to know.
Mr.
Fish, the court is not going to even dignify that blatant bigotry.
- Ever been married? - Objection! She's opining on male society.
Is it all scientific? Have you ever been with a man? Does it come from never being with a man? - Yes or no? - Mr.
Fish! What's with the name " Camaro"? That's a muscle car.
Co-counsel has gone wayward.
May I take over? The court would be delighted.
Your testimony against my client You blame him for a 14-hour workday, right? As law firms and companies have evolved into institutions where one can succeed only by putting in those kinds of hours - the working mother- - I lost interest, sorry.
- Objection! - Have you met the plaintiff? Briefly.
Have you observed her competence or productivity? - No.
- Yet you say she should be a partner.
She shouldn't be disqualified for being a mother.
I see.
You' re not a mother, are you? No, I am not.
Ever been called one, to your knowledge? Me? She wants to see me? - She has a theory- - Theory? People who don't want relationships gravitate to married people.
Safety in prohibition.
You do that.
- Ah.
Really? - Would you come? - It's a bad- - I went to yours.
- The least you can do- - No! You helped ruin my marriage, you can't repair it? That- That's a terrible thing to say.
Look, I, uh- I'm trying to fix things with Georgia.
I think the idea of you coming to- It's probably a crazy idea.
I don't even like this woman.
She says she wants to kick my ass.
Would you try? I did go to Tracy when you asked.
It just doesn't sound smart.
Well, we haven't exactly been living by "smart," have we? I'll run it by Tracy and see what she thinks.
May I help you? Ling? Is that you? Do we have a chance? Be honest.
- Well- - I have no interest unless I can win.
- You don't have to do this.
- I want to win.
We should practice.
Let's go to my place.
Hurry up, then.
- "Ever been called a mother? " - She was mean.
Well, I think you both crossed the line.
I think a bus crossed the line.
Hit her in the face.
You and Nelle should review our closing on the dance floor.
- Young blond wattle.
Let's go.
- What? This is our date? The bar? - Not exciting enough? - I hope I'm woman enough to handle it.
Me too.
What is this? What is this? Or what's that? John! - What's he doing? - John? Little knee pit action.
You should give him another try.
Notice the change.
We're still in trial.
We should be home preparing.
Oh, come on.
That would be like real life.
Oh, God! - I should stop.
- No.
Stop and I'll kill you.
Oh, my God - Look at me when you say that, Renee.
- Oh, my God! Pull me into your bosom.
We aren't up for an hour.
- An hour? - Maybe two.
- We should go someplace and practice.
- We're here! Look, I have to go see- I have an appointment.
- With that therapist.
I know.
- I'll be back before you go on.
- Are you okay? - Yeah.
Fine.
- You don't look great.
- I'm fine.
Seven women up for partnership get pregnant and don't become partners.
It's clear.
As was the defendant's own testimony.
A negative presumption against women.
Marianne Harper put in six years with Biblico, Hutchings & Gold.
And they punished her for becoming a mother.
You all heard it.
Women want it all today.
This means a career plus a family.
When you look at men who rise to the top most have sacrificed family.
But women? We can't do that.
That's unthinkable.
We have to be there for the children.
If a woman puts in 14-hour days while she has kids she's a bad mother.
That's why their star witness concludes that the 14-hour day is a de facto discrimination against women.
But where the gender bias really lies is in the assumption that all women want to be mothers.
There's the bigotry.
We don't all want to get pregnant.
What about women who put in 14 hours? Should they concede advantages to those who choose kids? Is that fair? She isn't asking for equal treatment.
She's asking for special consideration.
And with due respect to women who want to start raising families women like me want to earn partnerships under equal standards.
You chose to cut back work to become a mother.
You probably know joys I can't imagine.
I chose to concentrate on work in lieu of a family.
Now, I suppose you could bestow upon her the same rewards and privileges at work that I enjoy.
But you can't do it under the heading of fairness.
She's smaller than I expected.
- I'm not comfortable with this.
- Why should you be? Homewrecker.
All right Why did you kiss him? - Am I under attack? - You're the victim.
- Sucky-face.
- Enough.
- "Sucky-face"? - Okay, take her side.
- I'm not.
- You protect her.
- I'm not.
- You can go, Abby.
- I just got here.
- Plenty of married fish in the sea.
- Hey! - It's what I thought.
Your husband is drawn to weaklings.
- What? - Weakling? You subordinated him.
Sent him to Abby's weak arms.
- Ally.
- Are you still here? You don't invite someone over call them a weakling, and expect them to leave.
- Abby- Can I call you Annie? - Ally! My name is Ally.
You were jealous of that.
Don't we feel foolish? - Broken Broken - Are you okay? - Fine.
Broken.
- Oh, sorry.
I- I really am sorry.
Time heals.
Time heals.
You broke her foot! I didn't think we had a chance.
- I fell for it.
- Thanks, Richard.
John.
Hey.
Yeah.
- I had a great time last night.
- As did I.
- Maybe we could go out again.
- Yeah, that'd be nice.
John? Jury's back.
Come on.
- Jury's back.
- Yeah, I heard.
Call me.
I will.
- What exactly did he do to her? - Sorry? John.
What did he do to Renee last night? Oh.
I could show you real quick.
Just a little.
All right.
That.
Only better.
- Has the jury reached a verdict? - We have.
What say you? In this matter, we find in favor of the plaintiff and order the defendant to pay damages in the amount of $642,000.
- Bugger! - Thank you.
- You are dismissed.
- I'm sorry.
- What happened? - It was a tough case.
I'm very sorry.
- I feel like a circus act.
- You look- - Richard! - Group D's next, that's us.
You're gonna be great.
What's the matter? You want a moment to come but hope it won't.
What does that mean? Let's hear it for Group C! Thank you, Group C.
- I can't move my feet.
- You'll be great.
Ling's only had one day of rehearsal.
You'll move your feet.
You're ready.
And because if you don't- Let's just do it.
Group D to the floor.
Group D.
- Let's go.
- Don't hold back.
She won't.
Let's dance, Elaine.
Five, six.
Five, six, seven, eight.
Wow, it all looks dangerous.
You sure she's coming back? She said she was.
She went to ice it down.
Listen.
Without renouncing our need for therapy, she's terrible.
Georgia It comes down to me and you.
If we make it, we make it as me and you.
Instead of talking about what we need to talk about here, let's go to lunch.
I suppose it's cheaper.
Without saying all's forgiven, how about as I walk you to lunch you let me take your hand? We tried a good case.
He buried himself with the admission.
Presumption against women.
We tried.
Yeah.
How old were you when your parents divorced? - What makes you think they divorced? - How old? Six.
- Hurt a lot, huh? - John.
If this is an attempt to get me to open up I don't do that.
Yeah, it hurt a lot.
I had a pretty great childhood, actually.
Two houses.
Two rooms.
Two sets of clothes.
Even had two favorite teddy bears.
One for each bed.
How many kids get that? A little too many, I suppose.
We qualified! You did? I made it.
We made it.
You made it? Yes.
Regionals.
- T o the bar! Cocktails.
- Ally, Ling- If you break into some big emotional thank-you, I'm leaving.
I love that outfit.
My cracker.
Nugget - Thank you.
- You were great, Elaine.
And you know, by the way, when- When I was watching you, I Well, it was with envy.
You've got dance in your life.
Yeah.
And friends.
- So you actually broke her foot? - Just the big toe.
- You don't do well in therapy.
- I went with an open mind.
I really did.
Well, look.
Maybe violence works.
Yeah.
What's with Renee and The Biscuit? I think it's just a dance.
Oh, God.
- Here comes ours.
- I guess.
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