Big City Greens (2018) s02e19 Episode Script

[theme song plays]
One, two
One, two, three, four ♪
La, la, la, la ♪
La, la, la ♪
Na, na, na, na
Na, na, na, na ♪
La, la, la, la ♪
[chicken clucks]
[Cricket panting]
Whoa, slow down, son.
Can't slow down, Dad. Not today.
Not on Remy's birthday!
They're here!
-[all] Happy birthday, Remy.
-[Gramma] Happy whatever.
Are you guys ready to play some games?
Oh, yeah, "games."
Like potato peeler over here?
Drop and peel me 50.
Did enough of that in the war.
Get me when it's time to leave.
Want to find a game
to play together, Papa?
Sure thing, sweetie.
What game should we play first?
Ah, ah, ah, your grandmother
is still expecting
a call from you, birthday boy.
But that'll cut into my Cricket time.
Don't worry, buddy. I need to go
drop off your present anyway.
Master Cricket, have you brought
a gift for Master Remy?
Of course. One best present
for one best friend.
[grunts]
Bouncy ball.
-Hmm. Very good.
-[toy squeaks]
I'll put it with the others.
Whoa!
[animal ululates]
Those are Remy's other gifts?
Yes, Master Remy always receives
the most lavish of gifts.
Vasquez, I found Remy
the biggest and bounciest ball
in all of Big City.
[whimpers]
Wowee-zowee!
Would you look at all the presents.
Which one's yours, Cricket?
It's, uh, the good one?
Oh, Cricket, you old bean.
Hey, Remy.
You finally going to win
that big prize this year?
I wish.
Uh, what big prize?
You mean you never heard of the coolest,
most bestest prize at Snuggly Pete's?
Were you born in a dumb-dumb hole?
They're talking about the top prize
at the prize booth.
Big Rex.
A 10,000-ticket prize.
But no kid has ever won 10,000 tickets.
I'm just here to have a good time.
Even if he's got
the cutest little sunglasses
that he couldn't have possibly
put on himself.
-[both laughing]
-I mean, look at those arms.
Don't you worry, little Remy.
I will win those 10,000 tickets
to get you the birthday present
you deserve.
Why'd I let myself get dragged
into this madhouse?
-Please, can somebody help me?
-Huh?
My youngest, Bryan,
he hasn't come out of the playtubes yet.
H-He must've gotten lost.
[echoing] Lost, lost
[soldier] Sammy never made it back, Alice.
He's done for.
[Gramma] I ain't leaving him in there.
We got a code, soldier!
Never leave a man behind.
I'll find your boy, Miss,
hopefully in one piece.
Please, hurry.
He's got an orthodontist appointment
in an hour.
Wow, what game should we play first?
There's Skee-Ball,
air hockey, Snee-pordee.
What about this game, Papa?
This is adorable.
[gasps]
I was born just so I could meet you.
Ha-ha, holy Whack-a-Moley.
Your old man is great at this game?
I found you.
[gasps] I found you.
Oh, you found me.
Hmm.
Ha-ha, this is so much more fun
than tangoing by myself like I do at home.
-Ah!
-Yeah, yeah, fun game.
How many tickets did we get?
Cricket, Tango Tango Double Luxe Ultra
is just a game for fun.
We don't get any tickets.
Huh? Well, forget this game.
What else do you want to do, Remy?
How about the
Kawaii photo booth?
Mm-hmm.
And how many tickets does that one give?
None. Just wonderful Kawaii memories.
Right.
-[bell ringing]
-Hmm.
Remy, what's a better memory
than cramming in as many games as possible
before gift time?
Well okay, let's do it.
Ah, it's like a jungle in this jungle gym.
You seen a kid named Bryan?
B-B-Bryan?
Yeah. I saw Bryan in No-Kid's-Land.
But you don't want to go there.
Someone ate too much pizza and, you know.
I can't go back in there!
Don't make me go back in there!
At ease, soldier. Your tour is over.
Time to bring Bryan home.
[laughter and chattering]
Now what game will give us
the most tickets?
-Uh, I mean fun?
-Ooh, how about--
-Over here.
-Oh, okay!
[grunting]
-[bell rings]
-Oh, yes. Next game!
-[Remy laughing]
-[buzzer goes off]
-Next game!
-Oh, okay.
-[both panting]
-Next game!
Faster, Remy, faster.
I just need a second.
Wow, we're really blasting
through these games.
Ha! Yup, and we still got
a bunch more to get through,
so hurry up and throw a Skee-Ball.
All right, this is the last
of Remy's gifts.
Ready to gather everyone up
for cake and presents?
I think it's time.
But I still need more tickets.
Huh? What'd you say, buddy?
I said, uh, why don't we
help that ball along a bit?
But doesn't cheating
take the fun out of it?
Oh, I'm having a blast.
Look at me, whoo-hoo!
-[boys laughing]
-[camera shutters clicking]
Oh, look at us. I'll remember this day
for as long as we're friends.
-You mean forever?
-[both laugh]
Oh!
Peek-a-boo. Peek-a-boo.
-Uh
-Peek-a-boo.
Uh, sweetie, you're very cute,
but that's not the way you play
Holy Whack-a-Moley.
Let Papa show you how it's done.
Okay.
[grunting]
[whimpers]
This'll teach you for ruining my garden.
Papa, what's gotten into you?
Nothing, I'm just whacking the moles.
You see, moles are pests,
and pests deserve a good bonkin'
on the noggin.
Hyah!
Pow! Hyah!
[cackles]
Who are you?
[video game music playing]
[growling and mewling]
[grunts]
How many tickets did I get?
-Come on, come on, come on
-[panting]
-[groaning]
-[steam hissing]
All right, let's see how you did.
One? That's it?
I'm not a fast mouse, Cricket.
Come on, Remy. Hurry up, hurry up.
We can hit up a dozen more games
before you open presents and--
-[gasping and panting]
-Whoa.
Here, why don't you take
a little break on the pony.
And I'll just keep getting
tickets without you.
See you at present time, buddy.
Cricket! Don't go
without me.
Where is that kid? Bryan?
Is that you?
What do you want from me?
Easy, boy. I'm here to hel--
Aah!
Come with me, kid.
I'm going to get you back to you mama.
You're going to take me back?
Well, I'm not going back!
[screams]
Outside, I'm just a regular kid.
But in the jungly gym, I'm king!
-What are you--?
-[cackling]
[screams]
Why are you like this?
[loud stomping]
[grunting]
-[buzzer goes off]
-Huh?
Hmm.
Baby, why'd you unplug Papa's moles?
Moles are beautiful creatures
and deserve respect.
Sweetie, you do not want to get
between a farmer
and an invasive species.
Hey, Tilly, got any spare tickets?
-I really need to--
-Not now, Cricket.
Papa and I are having a discussion.
Like I said, moles are the farmer's enemy.
So Papa's going to go back
to hitting the moles very hard.
Would you hit me if I was a mole, Papa?
-Tickets?
-Well, if you were a mole,
you wouldn't be my daughter, so, yes.
Every time they unplug the game
and plug it back in,
tickets come out.
[Rashida] Attention, friends of Remy.
Please gather at the gift table
for birthday cake
and presents.
[Russell] That's a ten-hut
on the double, kids!
Oh, dang. Okay, I don't have much time,
but I think I've got a plan.
Hmm. Oh, Tilly. Mr. Green.
Do you know where Cricket is?
I do not. I have been busy saving moles
from a certain whack-a-maniac.
Oh. Where could Cricket be?
You can do this.
Just put on your mask, Jimmy.
They can't see your tears behind the mask.
Ow. All right, just got to find
the main power switch and--
Ah.
Resetting all the games
will get me enough tickets
to get my best bud the best present.
[laughter]
[all] Huh?
Oh, boy.
A whole pizza just for Benny.
[stammers]
Whoa!
Curse my gluttony.
You're coming with me.
Never!
-Huh?
-Sorry, son.
I never leave a man behind.
[both scream and grunt]
Perfect. Now I just got to hurry
and collect my tickets.
-[panting]
-All right, everyone, huddle up.
Let us sing to my birthday boy.
And here we go.
[all] Happy birthday to you ♪
Happy birthday to you ♪
[grunting and panting]
Hello, come to claim a prize?
Is this enough for the T. rex?
Hmm, let me count them real quick.
One, two
[straining]
Wow. Ten thousand exactly.
Here's your prize, kid.
Hang on, Remy. Cricket's a'coming.
[all] Happy birthday to you ♪
-[inhales deeply]
-[Cricket] And many more!
Whoa, slow down. It's a wet floor!
Huh? Whoa!
Ah!
-[fire alarm rings]
-[all scream]
Uh, happy birthday?
[whimpers]
[inhales sharply]
Hey, you okay, buddy?
Listen, I know it got
all wet and smooshed,
but, I mean, cake is cake.
Plus, I got you that T. rex you like.
Cricket, I don't care
about the cake or the T. rex.
I get cool presents every year.
This was the first birthday
party I've been able to share
with a best friend.
All I wanted was to spend time with you.
That means I really blew it
by ditching you
to go ticket-hunting all day, huh?
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
Hmm.
Well, there's still some party time left.
Why don't we spend the rest of the party
doing what you want to do?
You mean it? Even the Kawaii photo booth?
Of course we're going to do
the Koala photo booth.
Wow, they really talked it out.
You know, we could learn from that.
How about we play a different game,
like air hockey?
Good thinking, Papa.
Pucks deserve to be hit.
[both screaming]
-No!
-Yes!
Thank you so much, intense old lady,
for getting my boy.
It was an honor, ma'am.
Now let's get you
to the orthodontist, Bryan.
[Bryan growls]
Well, back to hating kids.
[whistles]
-[Remy] Oh!
-[Cricket] Put the ears on.
-[both laughing]
-[camera shutters clicking]
Hmm. Okay, this day
is officially too boring.
Look on the bright side, Cricket.
Perhaps learning to cope
with the mind-numbing tedium
of our own existence could be
its own form of entertainment.
Nah. We need something wild and exciting.
Something
Something unexpected!
-[both] Mama!
-Kids, what if I told you
your mama has a special surprise
waiting for you right outside?
I'd be tantalized and intrigued.
Yeah, Mom surprise.
Wait, this isn't one of those surprises
like how Dad tricks me
into doing chores, right?
[Bill] Cricket, I've got a big surprise
waiting for you in the laundry room.
Hmm.
Oh, this is way better
than laundry, kiddos.
Introducing your very own dirt bike.
[both gasp]
It's--It's-- It's so beautiful.
Built her from some spare parts
in the shop.
She can haul, if I do say so myself.
Oh, my. Well, aren't you quite the steed.
I shall tame her, and we shall
be as horse and rider.
Thank you, Mommy.
Hey, everybody. Finished baking cookies--
[gasps] No!
Hey, Bill.
You got the kids a dirt bike?
So
-This thing safe?
-Of course.
I rode these things all the time as a kid,
and look how I turned out.
-Hmm.
-Bill? Hurtful.
Hey, kidding.
You kids'll be careful
on that thing, right?
Absolutely, Papa--
[cackling]
Cricket, for Pete's sake, slow down!
Cricket's never slowing down again.
If only there was something to jump!
Whee!
Whoa.
-Yeah!
-Son, look out!
Huh?
-[cooing]
-[cawing]
[both laughing]
[wind gusts]
[laughing]
[crows cawing]
We're dead.
[screaming]
Gotcha.
[truck horn blaring]
That could have been me.
Cricket! You okay?
I-I-I don't know.
My--My bones ain't broke.
But the bike sure is.
Nothing a little fixing can't fix.
-Aah!
-Cricket, it's okay.
It's just a backfire.
I ain't riding anymore.
You can't make me.
I ain't making you do nothing.
Wait. Something's wrong.
It's like my brain's trying to think
before doing things.
-I've gone insane!
-[Tilly] No, dear brother.
You're finally experiencing
the fragility of life.
Like that of the humble egg.
-May I?
-[clucks]
We are but delicate shell and yolk.
All it takes is one slip
or mistake, and
-Tilly, quit wasting food.
-Aah!
My whole life I've been
running around acting crazy,
having no clue I was such
a fragile little egg!
-[whimpers]
-Uh, Nance? A little help?
Calm down, Cricket.
You just need to be a bit safer, is all.
I'm going to go fix up the bike.
When you're ready to hop
back on, just give me a holler.
But I don't know how to be safe.
And it's not like I know some lame,
boring, old, safety-loving expert
who can teach me.
Sun's strong today.
Did everyone put on their sunscreen?
Bingo-bango. Father! Father!
I can't believe I'm actually saying this,
but can you teach me your ways of safety?
Yes.
Yes, I can.
All right, Cricket.
The secret to staying safe
is threat assessment.
Assess threats. Got it.
And there's no better way
to assess threats
than the uh-oh technique.
I am intrigued. Please continue.
The uh-oh technique
is my own personal system
for identifying danger.
Allow me to demonstrate.
Uh-oh, some rusty nails.
Uh-oh neutralized.
Very interesting.
Uh-oh, Miss Brenda's looking
mighty mean today.
Better set up a perimeter
so no one gets kicked
by her powerful haunches.
Don't get kicked?
Okay, that's a lot to take in.
Just steer clear of the "uh-ohs,"
and you won't get uh-ohs of your own.
-Now you give it a try.
-All right.
First step: assess threats.
Hmm.
[dog whimpers]
Dog is uh-oh?
Hmm.
Rake is uh-oh?
Correct. Someone could step on that
and get bonked in the nogging.
Now you're thinking safe.
[laughs]
Uh-oh! A bee!
Somebody could get stung by that bee.
Wow! Two for two.
And then, after they get stung
in the face,
they could stumble uncontrollably,
crashing into the apple tree.
-Uh-oh!
-Yeah.
I guess that could happen.
And then the apples, they will fall,
pelting my delicate shell
one after the other,
till I crack open like the fragile
little egg that I am.
Aah! Uh-oh.
Uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh!
[gasps]
[coos]
That pigeon could peck my shell
till my yolk drips out.
Uh-oh! Uh-oh. Uh-oh.
[gasps]
These blades of grass
could slice me right open! Ow!
Uh-oh! Uh-oh! Uh-oh!
Cricket? Hey there, buddy.
-Uh-oh. Uh-oh.
-Seeing a lot of uh-oh's, huh?
The outside is full of danger.
Got to get inside.
Sir, I suggest you do the same!
[screams]
Uh-oh.
[Nancy] And tighten the swing arm.
And we're done.
Phew. Too bad Cricket
doesn't want to try again.
How about you, Till?
Think you're ready for a ride?
Oh, I'm ready, Mama.
But the question is, is Geraldine?
Geral-whomst?
That's what I've decided to name the bike.
Before we ride,
we have to connect
with each other as equals.
Trust is the foundation
between a rider and her steed.
Allow me to soothe your soul
with a calming melody.
[ululates]
Well, while you're busy bonding,
I think I'll check in on your brother.
Sug? You in here?
[sizzling]
Uh, Cricket?
[bubble wrap popping]
Hello, Mother.
Hey, kiddo.
So, what's all this?
Just taking a few safety precautions.
Did you know the most
common place people get injured
is in their own home?
We've been living
in a death trap this whole time.
No telling how many uh-ohs could happen.
Uh-ohs? That doesn't sound like
a Cricket thing.
-Sounds more like a
-[floorboards creak]
Bill.
Did you teach him this?
Maybe.
Listen, Cricket,
I wanted you to be safe,
but I wasn't expecting this much zeal.
Oh, typical Bill.
Of course you wouldn't understand.
What's that supposed to mean?
Well, no offense Dad,
but we all know you don't take safety
as seriously as you should.
-Excuse me?
-I'm so safety-minded,
I invented these things
to protect my feet.
I call them hard socks.
Cricket, those already exist.
They're called shoes.
Well, well, Mr. Know-It-All.
Okay Cricket, that's enough.
Listen, I finished fixing up the bike.
Maybe you should hop on and try again.
Prove there's nothing to be scared of.
[cackles]
Aw, you're cute.
Little baby Crickey
is never going to do anything
needlessly reckless again.
This is the new life I choose, Mother.
Being a safe bubble-wrapped boy.
Well, off to find some more
industrial-grade bubble wrap
to use on the rest of the house.
Bill, a word.
Okay, we broke our son.
What are we going to do to fix this?
Now hold on, Nance.
I know he's going a little overboard,
but isn't it a good thing that
he's being a bit extra careful?
I don't know.
[Cricket] Oh, hey, Dad?
FYI, I'm getting rid of all
the dangerous objects we have,
so all your farm tools had to go.
-You're welcome.
-What?
[truck beeping]
Yeesh. What should we?
-Get the boy.
-Right.
-Cricket!
-[bubble wrap popping]
I can't believe I'm saying this,
but please go back
to being a reckless kid.
We just want our old Cricket back.
No! I'll never go back to the way I was.
Turtle maneuver.
Cricket, we're just trying to help you.
I can't believe this.
My own family is now a threat
to my safety.
Well, uh-oh to you.
Uh-oh to you all.
Well, if that's the way you feel.
[Tilly] Mama!
Sweet Geraldine and I
have forged an unbreakable bond.
We are now ready to ride.
That's my girl.
Hey, bud, your sister and I
are going to go riding.
Sure would love to have you come along.
Wait, how can they still be going riding?
It's too dangerous.
Don't they know they could get hurt?
Uh-oh!
Tilly, get off that thing! Oh!
-Got your helmet on, hon?
-Right here, Mama.
-Safety roll.
-Cricket? What are you doing?
-I'm saving you.
-Well, stop it.
You're going to spook Geraldine.
Geraldine's dangerous.
-[Tilly] Whoa!
-[Nancy] Cricket!
Geraldine!
[screaming]
My bubble wrap armor
is caught in the throttle.
Maybe if I just yank it
real hard, like th--
-[engine revs]
-Aah!
I just made it worse!
Cricket, grab my hand!
-[both exclaiming]
-Cricket!
Just take off that bubble wrap
and control the bike!
It isn't safe.
Cricket, life isn't some death trap!
[gasps]
Oh, no, not another one.
We got to finish this bridge.
Well, I guess there's only
one thing left to do.
Emergency turtle maneuver!
Look, honey, you can't just hide
from the world.
See, life is like, well, a dirt bike.
Yeah, it can be dangerous,
but you're safer steering than turtling.
So face your fears
and take control of your life.
[whimpers]
[grunts]
Yeah, that's my boy. Chew that plastic.
Uh, okay,
you're really getting in there.
I'm free!
Oh, no! A child! Aah!
Aah! Oh, Cricket Green.
Take control.
[tires squeal]
Good job, kid!
[loud crash, explosion]
[laughs]
I'm doing it! I'm really doing it!
[gasps]
Hmm. Face your fears.
Yeah!
Hooray.
Nice jump, sug. How you feel?
I I feel alive.
See, hon?
You just needed to find some balance.
[explosion]
Or maybe you just shouldn't
have a dirt bike.
[Cricket] Agreed.
Okay, kiddo, let's get you home.
Hey, Mom, can we pop a wheelie?
Glad to have you back, Cricket.
Whoo-hoo!
I got sweat in my eyes ♪
Lost a bet and got bit
By a hundred flies ♪
I fell out
A big old tree ♪
Hit every branch
And scraped up both my knees ♪
I got chased by a dog ♪
Licked by a frog ♪
Got a rash on my leg ♪
Dropped a dozen eggs ♪
I got splinters
At seven and ten ♪
And tomorrow I'll do it all again ♪