Bunk'd (2015) s02e19 Episode Script

1 (Wolf howling) (Growls) (Shrieks) (Pants) (Screeching) (Gasping) (Screams) (Panting) (Gasps) Emma! Emma! Are you okay? Ow.
I was until you just gave me whiplash! I just had a dream where something horrible happened to you! Did I lose all my money? No.
Shoes? No! Looks? No.
Then how bad could it have been? Now, go back to bed.
Lou: (Shakily) Okay.
You're still there, aren't you? No.
Here we go We're leaving the city behind right now Let's gather by the campfire light And sing this song All: Kikiwaka Hanging out with someone new Then falling out of a camp canoe What's that smell? It's on your shoe All: Kikiwaka Got a s'more in my hair Mosquitos in our underwear Shower's broke but we don't care All: Kikiwaka This is our home away from home away from home away from home But watch your back A bear just ate my phone All: Kikiwaka, Kikiwaka All: Kikiwaka, Kikiwaka All: Kikiwaka, Kikiwaka Let's see Xander, do you have any kings? (Sighs) Yes, but I'm keeping them, because we're playing poker, not Go Fish.
He's got kings! I fold.
I fold, too.
Man, I've got to stop falling for that.
I've only won three peanuts all night.
Guys, guess what? I just found out I don't have to go to juvie after camp is over! Really? That's great, Griff! Congratulations! Ooh, are they putting you in the Witness Protection Program? No, because I'm not a witness to any crime, other than the ones you commit in the bathroom.
Ah, I get it.
You can't talk about it.
(Chuckles) Because there's nothing to talk about! Man, he's good! So, Griff, why are they releasing you early? Because juvie is overcrowded, so they're sending me to a group home.
And you are happy about that? Of course! There's no toilet in the middle of my bedroom, oh, and you can walk out the front door without getting tazed! That does sound homey.
So, Emma, in my nightmare, you were wearing a court jester costume, with an ugly argyle sweater, and you got punched! For that fashion choice, I deserved it.
And then you were standing in broken glass.
And then, you were running through the woods being chased by this shadowy, menacing creature! Sounds like every night in Central Park.
It made this horrible groaning noise, and then there was this bright light, and then, suddenly, it grabbed you and you disappeared! Ah, Lou, it was just a dream.
Right, and usually, I don't remember my dreams.
But when I do, they always come true.
No, they don't.
You once told me you had a dream about Zac Efron kissing you.
That happened! I have a pig named Zac Efron.
I fell in the trough, and he planted a big, wet one on me.
Ew! That's horrible! The horrible part is he never called.
Yeah, because he's a pig.
Oh, sure, make excuses for him.
(Gasps) Ah, my shirt! Hey, that was part of my dream! I told you it would come true! What? You didn't dream a kid would bump into Emma and make her spill juice on herself.
That wasn't juice.
It was punch.
Emma just got punched.
Just like in my dream! Well, in your dream, did you get me a napkin? You know, I have this weird recurring dream where I'm bowling.
What's so weird about that? My ball is Albert Einstein's head.
And every time I put my thumb in the hole, he bites me.
E equals MC yikes! Ha! Your turn.
Ha! I win.
Jorge, that is not how you play the game.
I know, but I was bored.
Excuse me, I'm Mr.
Gribbly, from Moose Rump County Services.
I'm here to pick up Griff Jones.
You're kind of skinny.
I'm not sure you can lift him.
Look, kid, I'm not in the mood for jokes.
I had to walk five miles from town to get here.
Why did you walk? Because the county's transportation budget is zero.
I got thrown off the bus when they discovered I paid with a button.
And now my shirt looks weird.
Wow, it sounds like the county has even less money than this camp.
When we play baseball, home plate is an actual plate.
Well, at least you get to work in the fresh air.
I'm stuck in my teeny tiny cubicle all day.
It just makes me want to staple my hand to my desk over, and over, and over again.
Good thing they won't pay for staplers.
I can get you a stapler from Arts and Crafts, and you could use one of our tables.
Jorge! What? I want to see that.
So, where is this Griff kid? I'm here to take him back to juvie.
Juvie? But I thought he was going into a group home, because juvie was overcrowded? Not anymore.
A kid escaped, so now we have a cot available.
By the way, keep on the lookout for a 12-year-old with an orange jumpsuit and a mustache.
A 12-year-old with a mustache? Yes.
And be careful, she's mean.
That toilet you sent me to was just a tree stump.
That was one unhappy chipmunk.
Mr.
Gribbly, why do you have to take Griff today? There's still a week of camp left.
Look, all I know is, they want me to pick him up today, and if I don't do what I'm told, they'll demote me to Crossing Guard.
I cannot wear that vest again.
Which, FYI, does not keep people from trying to hit you! Tell me about it.
I barely survived three days as a hall monitor.
They kicked me in the sash.
Could you at least let us break the news to our friend, and give us a little time to say goodbye? I suppose so, but make it snappy.
I need to make it home in time for me and my cat, Muffles, to watch Madame Wanda: Pet Therapist.
Ooh, I love that show! It helped my pet turtle come out of his shell.
They are not supposed to come out of their shell.
Yeah, I found that out.
Which scored us an appearance on Doctor Steve: Pet Embalmer.
What channel is this? (Fusses) That was my last clean sweatshirt.
Now I have nothing to wear but a hideous sweater.
Wow, that is the Hazel of sweaters.
It's loud, weird, and I want to run from it.
It's from my crazy Aunt Eileen.
She gives the worst presents.
Not to me.
I gave all our relatives strict instructions.
Presents not in the form of cash, check, or precious metals, will be returned to sender.
Wait a minute That's the sweater you were wearing in my dream! Really? That's weird.
What? No, it's not.
Lou was aware of the sweater's existence, therefore it was already embedded in her subconscious, and manifested itself in a nocturnal epiphenomenon.
I was gonna say the same thing, just, you know, without sounding like I swallowed a dictionary.
Zuri: Uh-oh Broken glass! And Emma is standing in it.
Just like you dreamed! Your dream is really coming true.
Zuri, don't tell me you actually believe this.
I'm telling ya'll, heed my dream warnings.
My Uncle Skeeter didn't, and he got hit by a flying bat and lost his ear! Ew, that's horrible! Was he in a cave? No, a Minor League Baseball game.
The batter lost his grip and let her fly.
Knocked Skeeter's ear right into his nachos.
Forget about your stupid dream.
This sweater is the real nightmare.
Xander: Hey, Griff, we need to talk to you.
I am afraid we have some bad news.
Did the lake catch on fire again? (Scoffs) That's not so bad.
At least when you catch the fish, they're already cooked.
It's not about the lake.
We just found out that you have to go back to juvie after all.
What? How do you know? There is a Mr.
Gribbly here from County Services.
He said he has to take you back.
Now? But there's still a week left of camp! We told him that, but he doesn't care.
(Knock at door) GRIBBLY: Okay, you've had time for goodbyes.
Wait! I think I have an idea of how to fix this.
Ooh, is it to fill Griff up with helium so he can float away? Let's call that Plan F.
My plan is, Griff should hide while I try to figure this out.
(Knocking continues) Hide in Mrs.
Kipling's cage! What? It is safe in there.
She is at Tai chi until 4:00.
Okay, where's Griff? I've got to go.
Sorry, Griff's not in here.
Really? Then you won't mind if I take a quick look.
Oh, my goodness.
And I thought that tree stump was bad.
Well, I guess he's not here.
A-ha! (Groans) Threw out my shoulder! Did you really think Griff was hiding in there? It's juvie.
Those tiny criminals can hide anywhere.
Like in there.
Oh, I would not do that.
That is the domicile of my giant pet lizard.
She loves finger food And by that, I mean fingers.
Well, I feel like you guys know more than you're letting on.
Well, not that one.
(Coughs) Okay, Xander, your plan better be good, because I'm not spending my last week of camp hiding in a pile of mouse bones, and what I hope is not a human toe.
Just trust me.
I have gotta go make some calls.
Ravi and Jorge, you two do whatever you can to stall Mr.
Gribbly.
On it.
I'll ask him where babies come from.
It usually takes people about 40 minutes just to stop saying, "Uh" Okay, Zuri, now that you're a believer, we should take turns guarding Emma while she sleeps.
Great.
How about you start, and I'll relieve you around 8:00 a.
m.
(Screams) Have you looked in the mirror? It's Emma.
She can't go 30 seconds without checking her reflection.
That's not true.
Emma, why are you dressed just like you were in my nightmare? To prove to you that this whole dream thing is nonsense.
Emma, you can't mess with destiny.
There's no such thing as destiny! That's just how simple-minded people explain the random occurrences of life.
Destiny brought Xander and me together.
See? So, Emma and I are going to the woods to prove, once and for all, that Lou's dream is not going to come true.
Then maybe you'll see that you're being ridiculous.
Yeah, we're the ridiculous ones.
We can't let her do this.
You can't.
My shift starts tomorrow morning.
(Both laughing) I can't believe we ditched Gribbly in that abandoned mine.
Yes, when we see him again, he will either be very angry, or very rich.
I can't stay in that cage for one more second! It smells like death, I'm freaking out about going back to juvie, and that upside down water bottle keeps dripping on my forehead! That is not water.
That is liquefied crickets.
Great.
Could this day get any worse? (Gasps) There's gribbly! (Gasps) Hide! GRIBBLY: Hey! I can't believe you two abandoned me.
There was a cave-in, and I had to dig myself out using my ID card.
They're going to charge me five dollars to replace that.
Abandoned you? Why ever would you think that? Because this one yelled, "See ya, sucker!" No, I said, "See A sucker!" (Cell phone dings) Good one.
But how did you happen to have that in your pocket? I have a lot of things in my pocket.
I also could've gone with, "See, a half-eaten pancake!" I don't know what's going on here, but since Griff is clearly trying to elude the authorities, I'm going to recommend he get even more time in juvie! What? You cannot do that! So the answer to the question, "Is there any place more disgusting than Kipling's cage?" Is, "Yes".
It's impossible to get cell phone service around here.
Stupid radioactive lake.
Okay.
Whoa.
Since I last saw you, I have crawled through a caved-in mine, and opened every dresser drawer in this camp, and I still can't find Griff.
I know you know where he is.
Um I have no idea where Griff is.
My campers tend to wander off.
Oh, then you must be Counselor of the Year.
Actually, I think I know where he might be.
He's probably down at the dump.
Why would he be down there? He Uh, he needs parts.
He's making a robot.
Yeah, don't tell anyone, but I think he's building an army.
If he's going to use it to destroy this camp, I'm all for it.
Okay, shadowy figure! I'm here! Come and get me! (Chuckles) Emma, stop it! This isn't funny.
Yeah, I can't believe you're tempting fate like this! Oh, come on, the only thing I'm tempting is the Fashion Police.
Okay, so, here we are.
We're in the woods, Emma looks exactly as she did in Lou's dream, and nothing has happened! Face it, there's no such thing as fate.
The shadowy figure is not coming.
(Eerie groaning) (All gasp) (Whimpering) Lou, wasn't there groaning in your dream? Scary groaning.
(Gasps) And a bright light? (Whining in high-pitch) Scary bright! Lou's dream is coming true.
That thing is gonna get me.
What do we do? Well, I'm gonna start of by saying I told you so.
Lou, in your dream, what happened after the thing grabbed me? I don't know.
I woke up! Well, fall back asleep and find out.
It's a little hard to fall asleep under these circumstances! Tell me a story? Once upon a time Your best friend was killed in the woods.
The end.
Go to sleep! (Beast growls) (All scream) Wait, you're not the one I'm looking for! You're right.
She is.
That's just cold.
No, I'm Mr.
Gribbly, from Moose Rump County Services.
I'm looking for Griff Jones.
I heard whispering over here, and I thought it might be him.
Oh.
Sorry, Zuri.
We thought you were a hideous creature.
Thanks.
You should write birthday cards.
And if you must know, I've just been crawling around the town dump.
Which, by the way, is in better shape than that camp.
But why were you groaning? Because I hate my life.
I told you guys this was all silly.
I wasn't scared for a second.
You were so! You were screaming like a hyena.
I was not.
That's just how I say hi to strangers.
(Yells) Hi! You guys are weird.
And I'm not even going to ask why this one is dressed like a preppy court jester.
It all started with this spooky dream that I Ooh, I had a really spooky dream once.
I was bowling with Albert Einstein's head.
(Scoffs) Who's the weird one now? Still you.
Well, boys, I didn't find Griff, but I did find four more troublemakers.
Oh, they're troublemakers.
I'm actually delightful.
Emma, what are you wearing? Oh, I have that exact same sweater.
Aunt Eileen gives the coolest presents.
Enough chit-chat.
I've got to find Griff and get him back to juvie.
And then I'm going to call your parents and tell them you've been interfering with a government official.
No, please don't call my mother.
Uh, but if you do, ask her to send Jorge more underwear.
He ran out a month ago.
Two, if you do not count inside-outsies.
Please don't get my brother in trouble.
My parents will take away his Museum of Natural History card.
That cave woman is the closest thing he has to a girlfriend.
Lucy just gets me.
Wait.
I don't want anyone else to get in trouble.
Well, look who it is! Moose Rump's Most Wanted.
Well, at least since they caught that guy who kept double-parking.
Look, I'm sorry I was hiding earlier.
But I'm ready to go now, just please leave my friends out of this.
They were just trying to help.
I wish they'd helped me when that mine caved in.
I don't do mud, unless Muffles and I are having a spa day.
Is Muffles your wife? No, my feline soulmate.
Let's go.
I never thought I'd miss my cubicle, but this camp has managed to do that.
Griff, we're so sorry you have to go.
It's just not fair.
It's okay, guys.
Don't feel bad.
Hanging out with you this summer has been the best time of my life.
It was like a dream come true.
Just like my dream came true! (Chuckles) Okay, not the time.
I get that.
But like all dreams, you have to wake up sometime.
I would say I'll see you guys later, but I think we all know that's not true.
Xander: Wait! Ugh! Madame Wanda starts in an hour! Do none of you understand the definition of appointment TV? Griff, I just got off the phone.
And I think I found a way for you not to have to go back to juvie! What are you talking about? Well, you know how you're always saying how much you look up to me and that I'm kind of like a big brother to you? I've, literally, never said anything like that.
Oh.
But I've thought it, every single day, because you're the one who took a chance on me, and let me come to camp.
I mean, you're the closest thing to a big brother I've ever had.
I'm glad you feel that way, because I just talked to my parents and We want you to come live with us.
Wait a minute, young man, you can't just do that.
You can if your dad used to play football with the governor.
Then I guess you can do that.
Are you serious? Yes! I mean, if it's okay with you.
Wow This is crazy.
I I don't know what to say! Say yes! Yes! Thank you, Xander.
You're welcome, little bruh.
We're so happy for you, Griff.
Me too! Wait, you are happy? I did not think that was possible.
Hey, it's really touching how much you all love your friend.
I haven't been this moved since Madame Wanda talked all those lemmings out of going over that cliff.
Good luck in your new home.
Thank you, Mr.
Gribbly.
This is awesome! (Indistinct chatter) Wait, so you're not gonna punish Griff for hiding, or us for helping him? Nah.
You guys spent all summer at this camp.
That's punishment enough.
Hey, Zuri.
What ya got there? My Aunt Eileen sent me an early birthday present.
I hope she got me something good this year! Gold bars? I know! Again? Boring.
Lou, do you want these? Does a cow like to be milked counter-clockwise on Valentine's Day? I have no idea.
Yes! Yes, I will take the gold bars.
(Gasping) I'm rich, rich, rich! Rich, rich, rich, rich! Lou! Who's Rich, and when are we gonna meet him? Zuri, is that a package from your Aunt Eileen? Yes.
Is it an early birthday present? Yes.
(Whining) Is it gold bars? Yes! And you're gonna give them to me? Not a chance.