Clarence US (2014) s02e19 Episode Script
Mystery Girl
1 [remote clicks.]
[upbeat music plays.]
I don't care what you say! I'm gonna do what I want all day! I'm the king of the world! I'm the king of the world! I'm the king of the world! I'm the king of the world! I'm the king of the world! I'm the king of the world! [Music.]
[Doorbell ringing.]
[Music.]
Narrator: Tired of an unreliable doorbell system getting you down? Waiting hours for a loved one to answer? Those doorbells you always miss time and time again.
[Screams.]
- Huh? - Trouble stops here.
Introducing the Ding Dong Dinger.
[Horn blows loudly.]
Never miss a beat ever again.
[Horn blowing on TV, kids laughing.]
Yeah, I want to order the one that goes like this.
[Splutters, roars.]
Do you have any of those? You got any babaganoush? [Chortles.]
- Uh, what are you doing? - Ba-ba-ga-noooooosh.
[Both laugh.]
Ha.
[Laughs.]
Oh, I see.
Prank calls is the name of the game.
I gotcha.
[Dial tone, dialing.]
Hi.
Are you enjoying this fine Friday? [Clears throat.]
That's funny, because it's Saturday! [Laughs.]
Ooh! Easy! [Dialing.]
- Pbht! [Laughs.]
- Sumo! [Both laugh.]
Okay, let's see here.
My turn.
Your refrigerator is running.
So go catch it! [Laughs.]
[Dialing.]
[Chuckles.]
I wonder who it's gonna be.
- Bella: Say your name, human! - Uh, Clarence? Greetings, earthling.
You have made contact with Zytopian 7.
This is Galaknard speaking.
- Huh? - [Whispering.]
It's an alien! Are you interested in renting our teleportation pod? Wait a second.
Clarence, who is that? Are you a good alien or a "humans must die" type of alien? - Umm humans must die! - Aah! Just kidding.
I'm not really an alien.
I'm Bella.
Oh, you guys, it's Bella.
- Huh? - I'm Clarence.
What were you calling for? Oh, uh, actually, I Are you making prank calls? I love those! Oh, good.
[Chuckles.]
Me too.
You sound like a pretty cool guy.
Oh.
[Chuckles.]
I like the way you sound, too.
[Sumo grumbles, Bella laughs.]
Uh, yeah, this is boring.
This one time, I was prank calling and I got this really mean lady, and I said, "Hello! This is the bank, and you owe me all your money!" [Laughs.]
That's pretty funny.
[Dial tone.]
Yeah, I like turtles, too.
Yeah! I asked my mom for a turtle for my birthday, but I don't know.
Do you like the movie "The MMM's"? Are you even kidding me? I love "The MMM's.
" Have you seen the sequel? [Yells.]
Uh, hold on a sec, Bella.
Bye, Sumo! Bye, Jeff! Okay, I'm about to set the movie.
- Are you ready? - Um - It's starting! It's starting! - Wait! [Laughing.]
# We're MMM's, we're MMM's # Bella: I love this part.
- # We're MMM dum dum # - We live inside your beds! - # We live inside your socks # - We live inside your socks! - # We're MMM's # - We're MMM's! - # We're super, super fun! # - Yeah! Hey, you're pretty good.
I love the MMM's.
They're so smart.
Clarence: Oh, yeah.
You'd love Sumo.
- Why are you crying? - He's so funny.
Oh, and also Chad, too, actually.
You'd love Chad.
- I'm hungry.
- Aaah! Don't eat me! [Giggles.]
I bet if I collect all the MMM's, they'll unleash some crazy power or something.
I mean, probably that many people working together would be really powerful.
Even if they weren't MMM's.
There's so many people out there, I wish I could be friends with all of them.
I don't know.
I'm kind of shy, really.
What? You're not shy.
[Laughs.]
Nah-uh.
I am! Hey, bud.
It's time to brush your teeth and get ready for bed.
And I think it might be time to say good night to your little friend, too, all right? I didn't realize it was already night-time.
I guess I should probably go.
That's okay.
I had fun talking.
I guess I'll talk to you - Tomorrow? - Tomorrow.
[Bird chirps.]
Hey, Clarence, I wrote a song today.
You want to hear it? Oh, sure, yeah.
[Mid-tempo music plays.]
Mm-hmm.
[Humming.]
[Babbles.]
Click-click click click.
Boop boop badoop.
[Humming.]
Doobity poke.
Poke.
Yay, the poke.
I got dragon wings and my armpits smell like uh, chocolate? [Laughs.]
- Wow.
You look so cool.
- Yeah.
Well, what about you? Well, I really like dogs, and I like wearing sweaters.
It's all there.
I'll send you this picture.
Okay.
[Slurps.]
You know what? These actually taste pretty good.
[Slurps.]
Clarence, don't eat them! What? Why not? They're good! [Whispering.]
So cute! Hey, Mar, come on now.
Give the little dude his privacy.
Oh, oh, oh, now they're talking about you! What are they saying? Okay, listen to this one.
[Loud rattling.]
Um, is that a helicopter? Wrong again.
It was my garage.
Okay, um, listen to this.
[Snoring.]
Blender or something? Ooh, close one.
- It's Chad.
- Darn! [Giggles.]
Tickle, tickle! [Groans.]
How about this? [Keyboard clacking.]
Is it a computer? Uh, no.
Um, it's me tap-dancing.
You know, you're really fun to talk to, Bella.
[Laughs.]
You're really fun, too, Clarence.
[Yawning.]
Yeah, I am pretty fun.
Oh.
Jeremy.
What? What?! Come over for dinner tomorrow! I'm so glad you were able to join us for dinner here.
It's wonderful to finally meet the famous Bella.
Right, Chad? Clarence has told us so much about you already.
Your mom said you take piano lessons.
That right? Yes.
I take piano le Uh, so sorry, Bella.
I-I can't hear you.
- What? - With my auntie.
- Uh - Hmm? [Loud squeak.]
I take piano lessons once a week with my aunt.
What's that, honey? You're breaking up.
Mom, don't be rude.
[Horn blows.]
- Pretty nice.
- Yeah! - Hey, buddy! - Oh, it's kind of bright out.
Hey, man! We're gonna do that thing behind the England lady's house! You in? [Gasps.]
The England lady?! - Clarence! - Wah! Bella's on the phone! Oops.
Hold on, guys.
[Sighs.]
I'm supposed to talk to Bella right now.
Fine! Tell Blah-blah we say hi! [Farts.]
You know where to find us.
- Bella: I'm thinking of inviting my cousin Billy.
- Uh-huh.
- But he broke his leg skiing.
- Uh-huh.
So I don't think he can come.
Then there's my Aunt Pam, and then there's Samantha Hmm.
Clarence: [Thinking.]
I wonder what Jeff and Sumo are up to.
- Bella: Clarence? Clarence! - Huh? Oh, uh, what? Never mind.
You sound like you're kind of busy.
Wait.
What? That's fine.
I'll talk to you later.
[Click.]
"You sound like you're busy.
" What does that even mean? I mean, I'm on the phone with her.
Oh, my moms do that all the time.
They call it being passive aggressive.
Well, sorry I left you guys hanging just for a phone.
Ah, whatever.
Who cares? You guys ready? Okay.
1, 2, 3 go! [Both cheering.]
Lard wins! Yeah! Whoo! - Lard's the best! - Aw, drat, second place.
[Grunting.]
Aah! Clarence, did you forget to grease your board? Weren't you going to use that rainbow frosting or something? Oh, I forgot Bella's birthday! [Dialing.]
[Ringing.]
Pick up, pick up, pick up.
Bella: Hello, you've reached Galaxy Zirnoth Orbit 12.
Megan: Bella? I mean, you've reached the Carter residence.
Both: We're not here right now, so leave a message.
Computerized voice: Inbox full.
- [Beep.]
Noooo! - Oh, boy.
Aw, Clarence.
[Dial tone.]
What's wrong? Girl trouble? - She won't pick up! - You know, she's probably just busy.
Eating cake, opening presents.
Um, I think I'm gonna go outside for a while.
Oh, don't feel bad, buddy.
I forget your mom's birthday all the time.
Chad, shut your mouth.
Message number one.
[Beep.]
Clarence: Bella! I'm so sorry.
I-I didn't mean anything by it, and I didn't forget about you, so Computerized voice: Message number five.
[Beep.]
Clarence: Bella, um, please don't be mad at me.
Computerized voice: Message number 13.
[Beep.]
Clarence: [Sobbing.]
Bella [blubbering.]
[Chickens clucking.]
[Phone rings.]
Hello? [Gasps.]
Oh, hi! Oh, no, he didn't.
Mm-hmm.
Ah, well, yeah, I guess he does look a little down.
Hey, little guy.
I just got off the phone with Bella's mom.
Oh.
Is she mad that I left all the messages? Well, you did leave quite a few, but she did notice how upset you were, so we were thinking about setting up a play date for you two.
How does that sound, Clarence? Wouldn't it be great to finally meet Bella? - In real life? - Mm-hmm.
"Oh, thanks, Mom.
" You're welcome, Clarence.
"I love you so much, I'm gonna take out the trash and do the dishes!" Oh, Clarence, you don't have to do that.
But all right.
[Grunts nervously.]
[Music.]
[Snap!.]
[Grunting.]
Sweetie, you all right back there? I was thinking my hand is getting really sweaty.
- Feel! - Hey! Clarence, no, I'm driving! You're just nervous, sweetie.
It's completely normal.
Yeah, but what if she doesn't like my present? I also told her I have dragon wings, but I don't really.
- It'll be fine.
- Yeah, but what if some food I ate earlier falls out of my mouth? - Or Or what if - Oh, hey, look, there they are! Hi! [Gulps.]
- Hey, Megan! - Hey, Mary.
- Aw, is that little Bella? - I hope the drive wasn't terrible.
Oh, my gosh, it was no trouble at all.
- It's so nice to finally meet you.
- You kids have fun! Ohh, see you later, sweetie! Those are some cool shoes.
[Moans.]
- Thank you.
- Uh, I hope you had a good birthday.
Here, I got you a late birthday present.
- Aren't you gonna open it? - Um, thank you.
Huh? What? - Huh? - Brring! Brring-brring! Brring! Psst! Bella! Pick up that phone! - Uh, hello? - Oh, hello, Bella.
It's Clarence.
Do you like your present? Oh.
Oh, yeah.
It's an MMM.
Mmm-hmm.
Sorry his arm got kind of eaten by Dennis.
- And he smells funny.
- Smells like [sniffs.]
vinegar.
[Chuckles.]
Yeah.
Hey, isn't it cool that we can smell stuff that we show each other now? And I can, like, see you.
- [Laughs.]
Yeah! Click! - [Gasps.]
Click! [Music.]
Remember that one episode where MMM #29 almost - eats his own son? - That episode was so funny.
[Laughs.]
Yeah, it is.
Aah! [Thud!.]
- Oh, are you okay? - [Chuckles.]
Yeah.
I'm okay.
- Mary: Boom! - [Laughs.]
Typical Clarence.
[upbeat music plays.]
I don't care what you say! I'm gonna do what I want all day! I'm the king of the world! I'm the king of the world! I'm the king of the world! I'm the king of the world! I'm the king of the world! I'm the king of the world! [Music.]
[Doorbell ringing.]
[Music.]
Narrator: Tired of an unreliable doorbell system getting you down? Waiting hours for a loved one to answer? Those doorbells you always miss time and time again.
[Screams.]
- Huh? - Trouble stops here.
Introducing the Ding Dong Dinger.
[Horn blows loudly.]
Never miss a beat ever again.
[Horn blowing on TV, kids laughing.]
Yeah, I want to order the one that goes like this.
[Splutters, roars.]
Do you have any of those? You got any babaganoush? [Chortles.]
- Uh, what are you doing? - Ba-ba-ga-noooooosh.
[Both laugh.]
Ha.
[Laughs.]
Oh, I see.
Prank calls is the name of the game.
I gotcha.
[Dial tone, dialing.]
Hi.
Are you enjoying this fine Friday? [Clears throat.]
That's funny, because it's Saturday! [Laughs.]
Ooh! Easy! [Dialing.]
- Pbht! [Laughs.]
- Sumo! [Both laugh.]
Okay, let's see here.
My turn.
Your refrigerator is running.
So go catch it! [Laughs.]
[Dialing.]
[Chuckles.]
I wonder who it's gonna be.
- Bella: Say your name, human! - Uh, Clarence? Greetings, earthling.
You have made contact with Zytopian 7.
This is Galaknard speaking.
- Huh? - [Whispering.]
It's an alien! Are you interested in renting our teleportation pod? Wait a second.
Clarence, who is that? Are you a good alien or a "humans must die" type of alien? - Umm humans must die! - Aah! Just kidding.
I'm not really an alien.
I'm Bella.
Oh, you guys, it's Bella.
- Huh? - I'm Clarence.
What were you calling for? Oh, uh, actually, I Are you making prank calls? I love those! Oh, good.
[Chuckles.]
Me too.
You sound like a pretty cool guy.
Oh.
[Chuckles.]
I like the way you sound, too.
[Sumo grumbles, Bella laughs.]
Uh, yeah, this is boring.
This one time, I was prank calling and I got this really mean lady, and I said, "Hello! This is the bank, and you owe me all your money!" [Laughs.]
That's pretty funny.
[Dial tone.]
Yeah, I like turtles, too.
Yeah! I asked my mom for a turtle for my birthday, but I don't know.
Do you like the movie "The MMM's"? Are you even kidding me? I love "The MMM's.
" Have you seen the sequel? [Yells.]
Uh, hold on a sec, Bella.
Bye, Sumo! Bye, Jeff! Okay, I'm about to set the movie.
- Are you ready? - Um - It's starting! It's starting! - Wait! [Laughing.]
# We're MMM's, we're MMM's # Bella: I love this part.
- # We're MMM dum dum # - We live inside your beds! - # We live inside your socks # - We live inside your socks! - # We're MMM's # - We're MMM's! - # We're super, super fun! # - Yeah! Hey, you're pretty good.
I love the MMM's.
They're so smart.
Clarence: Oh, yeah.
You'd love Sumo.
- Why are you crying? - He's so funny.
Oh, and also Chad, too, actually.
You'd love Chad.
- I'm hungry.
- Aaah! Don't eat me! [Giggles.]
I bet if I collect all the MMM's, they'll unleash some crazy power or something.
I mean, probably that many people working together would be really powerful.
Even if they weren't MMM's.
There's so many people out there, I wish I could be friends with all of them.
I don't know.
I'm kind of shy, really.
What? You're not shy.
[Laughs.]
Nah-uh.
I am! Hey, bud.
It's time to brush your teeth and get ready for bed.
And I think it might be time to say good night to your little friend, too, all right? I didn't realize it was already night-time.
I guess I should probably go.
That's okay.
I had fun talking.
I guess I'll talk to you - Tomorrow? - Tomorrow.
[Bird chirps.]
Hey, Clarence, I wrote a song today.
You want to hear it? Oh, sure, yeah.
[Mid-tempo music plays.]
Mm-hmm.
[Humming.]
[Babbles.]
Click-click click click.
Boop boop badoop.
[Humming.]
Doobity poke.
Poke.
Yay, the poke.
I got dragon wings and my armpits smell like uh, chocolate? [Laughs.]
- Wow.
You look so cool.
- Yeah.
Well, what about you? Well, I really like dogs, and I like wearing sweaters.
It's all there.
I'll send you this picture.
Okay.
[Slurps.]
You know what? These actually taste pretty good.
[Slurps.]
Clarence, don't eat them! What? Why not? They're good! [Whispering.]
So cute! Hey, Mar, come on now.
Give the little dude his privacy.
Oh, oh, oh, now they're talking about you! What are they saying? Okay, listen to this one.
[Loud rattling.]
Um, is that a helicopter? Wrong again.
It was my garage.
Okay, um, listen to this.
[Snoring.]
Blender or something? Ooh, close one.
- It's Chad.
- Darn! [Giggles.]
Tickle, tickle! [Groans.]
How about this? [Keyboard clacking.]
Is it a computer? Uh, no.
Um, it's me tap-dancing.
You know, you're really fun to talk to, Bella.
[Laughs.]
You're really fun, too, Clarence.
[Yawning.]
Yeah, I am pretty fun.
Oh.
Jeremy.
What? What?! Come over for dinner tomorrow! I'm so glad you were able to join us for dinner here.
It's wonderful to finally meet the famous Bella.
Right, Chad? Clarence has told us so much about you already.
Your mom said you take piano lessons.
That right? Yes.
I take piano le Uh, so sorry, Bella.
I-I can't hear you.
- What? - With my auntie.
- Uh - Hmm? [Loud squeak.]
I take piano lessons once a week with my aunt.
What's that, honey? You're breaking up.
Mom, don't be rude.
[Horn blows.]
- Pretty nice.
- Yeah! - Hey, buddy! - Oh, it's kind of bright out.
Hey, man! We're gonna do that thing behind the England lady's house! You in? [Gasps.]
The England lady?! - Clarence! - Wah! Bella's on the phone! Oops.
Hold on, guys.
[Sighs.]
I'm supposed to talk to Bella right now.
Fine! Tell Blah-blah we say hi! [Farts.]
You know where to find us.
- Bella: I'm thinking of inviting my cousin Billy.
- Uh-huh.
- But he broke his leg skiing.
- Uh-huh.
So I don't think he can come.
Then there's my Aunt Pam, and then there's Samantha Hmm.
Clarence: [Thinking.]
I wonder what Jeff and Sumo are up to.
- Bella: Clarence? Clarence! - Huh? Oh, uh, what? Never mind.
You sound like you're kind of busy.
Wait.
What? That's fine.
I'll talk to you later.
[Click.]
"You sound like you're busy.
" What does that even mean? I mean, I'm on the phone with her.
Oh, my moms do that all the time.
They call it being passive aggressive.
Well, sorry I left you guys hanging just for a phone.
Ah, whatever.
Who cares? You guys ready? Okay.
1, 2, 3 go! [Both cheering.]
Lard wins! Yeah! Whoo! - Lard's the best! - Aw, drat, second place.
[Grunting.]
Aah! Clarence, did you forget to grease your board? Weren't you going to use that rainbow frosting or something? Oh, I forgot Bella's birthday! [Dialing.]
[Ringing.]
Pick up, pick up, pick up.
Bella: Hello, you've reached Galaxy Zirnoth Orbit 12.
Megan: Bella? I mean, you've reached the Carter residence.
Both: We're not here right now, so leave a message.
Computerized voice: Inbox full.
- [Beep.]
Noooo! - Oh, boy.
Aw, Clarence.
[Dial tone.]
What's wrong? Girl trouble? - She won't pick up! - You know, she's probably just busy.
Eating cake, opening presents.
Um, I think I'm gonna go outside for a while.
Oh, don't feel bad, buddy.
I forget your mom's birthday all the time.
Chad, shut your mouth.
Message number one.
[Beep.]
Clarence: Bella! I'm so sorry.
I-I didn't mean anything by it, and I didn't forget about you, so Computerized voice: Message number five.
[Beep.]
Clarence: Bella, um, please don't be mad at me.
Computerized voice: Message number 13.
[Beep.]
Clarence: [Sobbing.]
Bella [blubbering.]
[Chickens clucking.]
[Phone rings.]
Hello? [Gasps.]
Oh, hi! Oh, no, he didn't.
Mm-hmm.
Ah, well, yeah, I guess he does look a little down.
Hey, little guy.
I just got off the phone with Bella's mom.
Oh.
Is she mad that I left all the messages? Well, you did leave quite a few, but she did notice how upset you were, so we were thinking about setting up a play date for you two.
How does that sound, Clarence? Wouldn't it be great to finally meet Bella? - In real life? - Mm-hmm.
"Oh, thanks, Mom.
" You're welcome, Clarence.
"I love you so much, I'm gonna take out the trash and do the dishes!" Oh, Clarence, you don't have to do that.
But all right.
[Grunts nervously.]
[Music.]
[Snap!.]
[Grunting.]
Sweetie, you all right back there? I was thinking my hand is getting really sweaty.
- Feel! - Hey! Clarence, no, I'm driving! You're just nervous, sweetie.
It's completely normal.
Yeah, but what if she doesn't like my present? I also told her I have dragon wings, but I don't really.
- It'll be fine.
- Yeah, but what if some food I ate earlier falls out of my mouth? - Or Or what if - Oh, hey, look, there they are! Hi! [Gulps.]
- Hey, Megan! - Hey, Mary.
- Aw, is that little Bella? - I hope the drive wasn't terrible.
Oh, my gosh, it was no trouble at all.
- It's so nice to finally meet you.
- You kids have fun! Ohh, see you later, sweetie! Those are some cool shoes.
[Moans.]
- Thank you.
- Uh, I hope you had a good birthday.
Here, I got you a late birthday present.
- Aren't you gonna open it? - Um, thank you.
Huh? What? - Huh? - Brring! Brring-brring! Brring! Psst! Bella! Pick up that phone! - Uh, hello? - Oh, hello, Bella.
It's Clarence.
Do you like your present? Oh.
Oh, yeah.
It's an MMM.
Mmm-hmm.
Sorry his arm got kind of eaten by Dennis.
- And he smells funny.
- Smells like [sniffs.]
vinegar.
[Chuckles.]
Yeah.
Hey, isn't it cool that we can smell stuff that we show each other now? And I can, like, see you.
- [Laughs.]
Yeah! Click! - [Gasps.]
Click! [Music.]
Remember that one episode where MMM #29 almost - eats his own son? - That episode was so funny.
[Laughs.]
Yeah, it is.
Aah! [Thud!.]
- Oh, are you okay? - [Chuckles.]
Yeah.
I'm okay.
- Mary: Boom! - [Laughs.]
Typical Clarence.