Harvey Beaks (2015) s02e19 Episode Script

[cheerful music.]
# Harvey # # Harvey # # Harvey # [applause.]
[upbeat music.]
Good afternoon, folks.
Thanks to everyone for coming out tonight.
Let's give a round of applause to our house band, my friend Claire.
I'm I'm the whole band? Um, oh, boy.
[cymbal crashes.]
Cloudy weather we're having.
They call this place Littlebark? More like, "Little dark.
" [cow lowing.]
[cheers and applause.]
["Charge" fanfare.]
[spring boinging.]
[laughing.]
You're too kind.
So stick around, folks, 'cause we've got a great show for you.
[humming.]
Oh.
[applause.]
Live from Harvey's living room in beautiful downtown Littlebark Grove, it's Starring Harvey Beaks.
[cheering.]
Featuring the comedy styles of Harvey Beaks.
And I'm your announcer and Harvey's BFF, Dade.
[cheers and applause.]
And now, the man of the hour himself.
Here's Harvey! I'm so excited for tonight's show.
So let's talk about Littlebark, a welcoming town, especially if you're my dad.
He keeps leaving the front door unlocked! - [rim shot.]
- Ha! I do keep leaving the front door unlocked! Yeah, it's kind of a serious problem, actually.
Oh, boy, look at this nice apple.
I'd sure love to take a bite.
Good thing I have teeth, unlike some babies I know! [rim shot.]
Heyo! [blows raspberry.]
Hoo, hoo, hot seat.
Check please.
[cash register dings.]
He's killing it.
Our first guest is so nice they named her twice.
Listing off her top five favorite things, please welcome Piri Piri.
[laughing.]
[humming.]
Ooh! [laughing.]
- Welcome to the - My number one favorite thing ever is glitter showers! You're supposed to list five favorite things.
Oh.
Okay.
I like hot-gluing, chewing on straws with my teeth, um, the crunchy part of lasagna, - welding - Whoa.
Don't try that at home, kids.
Cakes that look like cheeseburgers.
Oh, Princess' birthday party this Saturday.
- Painting my dreams - [gulps.]
Hand turkeys, LARPing, ChapStick Wait, did you mention something about a party? Because I didn't hear anything about it.
Yes, I'm going to Princess' party this Saturday.
I'll be wearing a dress covered in meat, which everyone knows symbolizes the beauty of birth.
[upbeat music.]
Oh, I'm being played off.
Good-bye! [laughing.]
A party? Huh.
Uh, anyway.
Let's give a warm welcome to our next guest, cartoonist extraordinaire Kratz.
One foot in front of the other, Kratz.
[ship horn bellows.]
Sorry.
I'm sorry.
So Kratz, I heard that you've got a new project coming out.
Oh, thanks for setting up my plug, Harvey.
It's the new issue of my comic, "Johnny Tornado.
" In this chapter, Johnny and his friends fight the ultimate double-jointed monster, "Elbows.
" I'll have a preview reading this Saturday at Princess' party.
Hold on: you're going to Princess' party? Oh, yeah, I got an invitation.
Oh, guess I haven't gotten my invitation yet.
No, Princess handed out all her invitations in person by hand.
She said if you didn't get one, you are definitely not coming.
Can we get back to my comic? Uh, sure.
So then, things get really interesting when Johnny travels to the seedy underbelly of Elbows' gothic castle.
Here's something interesting I just noticed.
Johnny's torch kind of looks like a birthday candle.
And this explosion of raining guts here kind of looks like confetti.
Like the kind Princess will have at her party, right? Uh, probably.
I don't know.
What else do you think will be at this party? Musical chairs? Animal balloons? What? He's going off-script! Fire jugglers? Sounds like something Princess would probably have at her party, huh, Kratz? [nervous laughter.]
- Oh, boy.
- I uh um [nervous laughter.]
Okay.
Let's hear it for Kratz! Buy my comic, please.
Are you okay, buddy? Do we need to take five? [laughs.]
I'm fine.
I'm fine, Dade.
The show must go on.
Cue our next guest.
Do you think we should say something to Harvey? No, no.
This is part of the show.
Oh.
Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome Fee and her amazing animals.
- Thank you, everybody.
- [growling.]
- Whoa! - [growling.]
- Ah! - Stay back.
[growling.]
Nature fact: Foos are known to shed their pants up to three times a day.
- I'll do it right now! - Foo! No! - We talked about this.
- I don't get it.
I'm a fun guy, right? I know I'm at least nice.
Why didn't I get an invitation? Princess and I are friends, aren't we? Psst, Harvey, don't worry, buddy.
I'm sure I can bring you to the party as my plus-one.
So you were also invited to Princess' party? Well, yes, but oh, Harvey, don't point at me like that.
Fee? Claire? Sorry, Harvey, we didn't know you weren't invited.
Mom? Dad? Uh I can't believe this.
It's all true.
I'm the only one.
We'll be right back after these brief commercial messages.
[gnawing.]
Harvey needs a moment.
You can chew on his head later.
Aw Uh, sorry about that, folks.
Harvey's gonna take a quick break.
Please enjoy the commercial.
[techno music.]
Okay, they really like the commercial.
How are we gonna fix Harvey? Agreed.
I mean, I love the guy, but he is giving me nothing to work with out there.
I had no idea he wasn't invited to Princess' party.
Yeah, it's really weird.
He's kind of the main guy.
- Yeah.
- Both: Yeah, it's weird.
- Yeah, I don't get it.
- Weird.
We got to get to the bottom of this, and I'm gonna start at the source.
# Gonna rock your body, that body, gonna rock # # And rock, rock, body, body, body, rock, rock # What's this commercial for again? I have no idea.
[grunting.]
Okay, she's sedated.
Time to force her to invite Harvey.
Princess? How dare you! Get off me! [grunting.]
She's fighting the tranquilizers.
both: [grunting.]
[screaming.]
Hold still, dang you! Eat chair! Guys! Stop fighting! I don't want Princess to be forced to invite me.
Good, because I never will.
all: [booing.]
Oh, whatever, you guys will change your tune once you see ice sculptures and ice dancers.
Ice dancers? That sounds amazing.
No, it doesn't matter.
I just want to know: did I do something wrong? Oh, yeah, wouldn't you like to know.
Uh, I would, actually.
I didn't invite you because you never invite me to anything! What are you talking about? I always invite everybody.
I'm super inclusive.
What about that time you were hanging out with those squirrels? I was kidnapped! Sounds like a good time to me.
And what about that time you were hanging out with that guy who loves teeth? What? Oh, okay.
I see how it is.
That was the dentist! Those aren't my fault.
Okay, well, what about the time you made that dumb show that you did every week, and you would talk to your friends about stuff they liked, but you didn't invite all your other friends over, even though they thought it sounded cool and they really wanted to do it.
Oh.
Whatever! I don't even care! Gosh! Yeah, that's right! I don't even care! I don't even have feelings! Eww! Princess, please.
Don't leave yet.
Ladies and gentlemen, before we wrap up tonight, I'd like to bring out one more very special guest.
She's a longtime friend of the show, and we should have had her on sooner.
Would you please give a warm welcome to Princess.
[drumming.]
[bass playing.]
[keyboard playing.]
Huh? [cheers and applause.]
Welcome to the show.
So, tell me about you.
[sighs.]
I don't know.
I'm really hungry.
I haven't eaten lunch yet, and my face is all itchy, and basically I'm the best at everything.
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
Now, I've heard you have many talents.
Would you care to share one? Uh, sure.
[grunting.]
[clapping.]
[cheers and applause.]
Princess, I have one more question.
Are we cool? [drum roll.]
Yeah, we're cool.
Um, also, you should come to my party on Saturday if you're not doing anything.
Aww, would you look at that, folks? A happy ending if ever I saw one.
all: Aww.
Take it away, Claire.
Oh, no [kazoo tooting.]
I got you.
[drumming.]
[cymbal crashing.]
[upbeat music.]
I'd like to thank everyone for coming out tonight.
I want to thank my mom, dad, Princess, and everyone.
I'll never forget any of my friends ever again.
Good-night, everybody.
[cheering.]
[music.]
Harvey: A tale of the Grunicorn Legends tell of an ancient beast, a beast that only children can see.
An incredible, magical, beautiful creature, with the power to grant wishes.
The story tells that once every ten years, he hides in Littlebark Grove until sunset, and all of the children search for him, because the first child to see the Grunicorn gets one wish granted.
And the desire of their hearts becomes real.
So yeah, that's the story.
- Wait, it'll grant any wish? - It's a wish fish.
That's a killer rhyme, dude.
I've been listening to rap music.
That's awesome, I really like stuff with guitars in it.
Any wish [sweeping orchestral music.]
Welcome, everyone, to this decade's Official Grunicorn Hunt.
[groans.]
Why do we have to wait? It's okay, Fee.
It'll give us time to do our stretches.
Yeah.
Man, there's a lot of people after this thing, huh? - Oh, I'm so ready to get that wish.
- You're gonna kill it, bro.
Here, I want to give you some of my body spray.
Aww, yeah.
[gasps.]
You packed me apple slices? I'll be full of wholesome energy! Uh-huh.
Yeah.
Okay, Mom.
Yeah, I'll try not to fail.
Love you too.
Bye, Mommy.
Bye, Daddy.
Sorry, guys, my mom and dad wanted to make sure I had my travel pack.
Fee, did you get me a travel pack? Oh, um, here's some leaves.
Okay, kids, everyone come to the starting line.
Ooh, let's go.
All right, get ready.
On your mark Get set Go! all: [shouting.]
[sighs.]
Okay, where do we start? Is he in the woods? The lake? Do we need to drain the lake? Or maybe he's this way.
When I find that Grunicorn, I'm gonna wish to purify the Internet.
I'm gonna wish for a healthy pancreas.
Oh, my gosh, Kratz.
Are you sick? No, but I probably will be one day.
I'm gonna wish for ultimate power.
And instead of a dark lord, you shall have a queen.
Not dark and beautiful and terrible as the morning and the night.
Fair as the sea and the sun and the snow upon the mountain.
All shall love me and despair! And also, nachos! And I just want to wish for all my friends to get their wishes.
- All: Aww.
- Thanks, man.
That's dope.
- Cool.
- What would you wish for, Fee? Oh, um a hot dog.
Yep, just gonna wish for a hot dog.
Is it a big hot dog? It's the biggest one you could imagine.
- Does it have mustard? - Well, yeah.
- Ketchup? - Yeah.
- Relish? - Yeah.
I don't like relish.
Well, this isn't your wish, Harvey.
This is mine, and I really want relish.
Cool.
I get that.
Hey, I think I see movement over there by the river.
Yeah! Come on! [rustling.]
[dramatic music.]
Where you at, Grunicorn? Huh? What's this? Whoa! Hey, guys, I'm gonna go check out this new club.
Nothing in here but a boom box.
Hey, who turned out the lights? Now, if I was a half-fish demon monster, would I be up in this tree, or this tree? Hmm Ow! Who threw that? What's that? A note? [mumbling.]
[gasps.]
Harvey, I got your message.
I'm here for the impromptu book burning Ah! [beeping.]
What? Oh, my gosh.
Who put this here? [grunting.]
Ah! Ah, I'm stuck! [impact.]
Did something just sting me? I wonder if I should [snoring.]
[fast-paced music.]
He's not hiding under these blades of grass.
- Hey, Fee? - So, apparently, when a sign says, "Free granola bars," it means "free trap.
" I didn't even want a granola bar.
I don't have time for your flim-flammery.
The Grunicorn would be getting away as we spea eek! A glue-covered spear? Who threw that? [laughing.]
[gasps.]
What the? [muffled gibberish.]
Dude, no one can understand you.
[drum roll.]
Hi-ya! - Impressive! - Wow, Rooter! Thank you, thank you.
It's called camouflage.
Rooter, did you happen to see who trapped us in this net? Yeah, I saw him last time I looked in the mirror! all: [gasping.]
That's right, it was me.
I've taken out the competition.
both: [gasping.]
[laughing.]
And you're next, Fee.
all: [gasping.]
Okay, enough of that.
I'm off to get my wish.
So long, dudes.
Ah! Ah! [grunting.]
Aw, man, he's getting away.
Fee, go.
Go get that massive hot dog wish.
Foo and I would only slow you down.
Please, don't worry about us oh, she's gone.
Rooter, I'm gonna beat you to that wish.
[exciting music.]
Pssh, nice try, Rooter, but your dumb traps aren't gonna work on me.
But, on the other hand [laughing.]
[explosion.]
Looks like my traps got her.
Now to get that wish.
It's gonna take more than an explosion to stop me, Dingus.
Ah! [sobbing.]
Why'd you do that? Why? Ow.
[laughing.]
Ah! Rooter! Ah! Ooh! [gasps.]
Is that the Grunicorn? [screaming.]
It's so majestic.
[grunts.]
[screaming.]
All right, wish fish.
Looks like I'm the first to see you, and now you got to give me my wish.
I'm afraid we're out of service today.
[gasps.]
Ah! [growling.]
I've had enough of you messing with my wish hunt.
[growling.]
Huh? Ah! - Ooh! - [growling.]
Good thing we landed on this soft pile of leaves covering one of my traps.
- What? - Both: Ah! [grunting.]
Oh Oh! Rooter, I'm gonna get a really large stick, and I'm gonna hit you with it.
Ha, I don't think you'll be finding any down here.
Huh? Whatever, Foo and I get out of bigger holes all the time.
Sure, it'd be easy if we worked together, but as soon as one of us helps the other out, they'll just run off and leave the other wishless.
So we've reached an impasse.
I've still got a trick or two up my sleeve.
Help! Okay, I'm out of ideas.
[dramatic music.]
[grunting.]
What are you doing? I'm trying to get help.
Duh.
Is someone stuck in that big ol' hole? Don't worry, I've got this little rope.
Ouchies! Well, cut it out.
You're throwing all the good rocks.
I need them to dig an escape route.
Yeah, you dug right into a scorpion nest.
What? Ah! Oh, you don't get it, Fee.
I need that wish.
When I find that Grunicorn, I'm gonna wish for him to leave and never come back.
What? Aw, not more scorpions! You bet your bottom dollar more scorpions.
- Sting! - Ow! Ah! Why would you do that? That's so stupid.
You know what's stupid? Wishes are stupid.
You got to work hard for the things you want.
It's the only way to grow.
At least, that's what my parents taught me.
Whatever.
Hey, come on.
I'm doing this as a favor.
I don't want my friends getting all soft on me.
It's not like your wish mattered anyway.
I overheard what you said you wanted: a hot dog.
Yeah, real good use of a wish, Fee.
Why not wish for French fries while you're at it? Or make it a combo and add a shake? A thick, chocolate shake? And be sure to get them protein style, where they're on lettuce instead of bread.
'Cause, you know, you got to watch your carbs.
Parents! What? I was gonna wish for parents for me and Foo.
Fee, I I didn't I mean Everyone else gets a mom and dad.
You, Technobear, Dade, even Kratz.
I have a vague memory.
I just thought maybe maybe it was time that Foo and I could have some of our own.
I guess it was pretty silly of me to think that.
[soft music.]
Huh? Rooter, what are you ah! Oh! Rooter! Go get that wish, Fee.
Thanks, dude.
Uh-oh.
[music.]
Grunicorn! Grunicorn? Come on out! Grunicorn? Grunicorn! [music.]
Keep your knee over your ankle, and remember to engage your core Fee! [grunting.]
Did you find the Grunicorn? No.
I looked everywhere.
And I'm running out of time.
It's over.
Wait a minute.
What if you just say your wish? If it's out there, maybe it'll hear you.
[dramatic music.]
I wish we had parents.
I wish we had parents.
I wish we had parents! [music.]