I Love Lucy (1951) s02e19 Episode Script

("I Love Lucy" theme song playing) Hi, Fred.
Listen, did you call Jim and Morey? Well, as soon as they get there, bring them up, huh? Yeah, I'll have the television getting warm and the beer getting cold.
Yeah, we'll watch the game from up here.
What do you mean we'll upset Lucy? Of course not.
Listen, Fred, there is nothing wrong with Lucy.
She's just having a baby.
Why does everybody treat her like she's falling apart or something? Okay, I'll see you in a few minutes.
Bye.
(yells) Honey! Why did you take that chair away? Oh, I'm sorry, honey.
I didn't know that was your chair.
What's the big idea? I want to watch the ball game.
Oh, honey, you can't watch television up here today.
What do you mean I can't? Fred is coming up with a couple of the guys.
Well, I'm sorry.
The girls are coming over.
They're giving me a baby shower.
Oh, now, honey.
Now, dear, think of the baby.
Think of all the nice things she'll get.
Well, think of me.
I finally get an afternoon off, and I can't even sit in my own home and watch my own television set.
Now, I am thinking of you.
If it wasn't for the baby shower, you'd have to pay for all that loot I'm going to get.
Well, it might be worth it.
Ricky Ricardo, you're jealous of the baby.
Oh, now, honey, don't be silly.
Well, then you go to Fred's and look at the game.
Isn't it nice the girls are giving me a surprise shower? Surprise?! Yeah.
Well, if it's a surprise, how do you know about it? Well, how do you think? Every girl in the club called up and told me.
Every girl in the club called up and told you it was going to be a surprise? Yeah, yeah.
They knew I'd hate it if they came over here to surprise me and the house was a mess, and I had my hair up in curlers.
I want them to surprise me but I don't want them to surprise me.
Yeah, uh-huh.
(sighs) What are you doing? Oh (laughing) Trying to pick up this dead petunia and I got stuck.
Help me, will you? Oh, honey, come on.
Up you go.
(both laughing) My center of gravity has shifted a little.
(both laughing) Well, honey, after six months, you should've learned there are a few things that you can't do.
Yeah, that's right.
Here, I'll take them out for you, honey.
Oh, thank you.
You sit down and rest; go on.
No, honey, I'm all right.
Come on, I want you to sit down and rest; sit down.
Uh, well, all right, but in that chair, dear.
Well, honey, that's the most comfortable chair in the whole house.
Yeah, I know it's comfortable, but once I get into it, I can't get out of it.
Well, honey, I'm here to help you.
Sit down, be comfortable.
Well Go ahead.
Come on.
All right.
There you are.
Oh, honey, would you take out that wastepaper basket too? Sure.
Whew There's a few bottles under the sink that ought to go out, too, dear.
(phone ringing) (ringing continues) Hello? No, no, thank you.
We already subscribe to all the magazines we can use.
Thank you.
Hey, what are you doing up? I thought you couldn't get up out of that chair.
Oh, well, I was wrong, dear.
It was a cinch.
You better run along now.
The girls will be here any minute.
Okay.
Say, uh, what am I supposed to do for lunch? Oh, honey, I just haven't got time to fix lunch for you.
Gee, I forgot all about you.
Yeah, that's been happening a lot lately.
Aw, gosh, honey, I'm s Oh, that's all right, that's all right.
I guess I can get Fred to rustle up something.
Well, that would be a lot (doorbell buzzes) That must be the girls.
Honey, go out the back way.
Go on, go out that way.
(doorbell buzzes) Uh come on in, the door is open.
ALL: Surprise! Surprise! Surprise! Surprise! Oh! Oh, my gosh! Oh, I never thought A surprise for me? Oh, that's wonderful! (laughing) Did you ever see anything like that in your life? Oh, I love 'em! Aren't they adorable? They're so little! Look at this that goes with it.
Isn't that cute! Did you notice these little shirts, Lucy? Weren't the girls generous, Ethel? Oh, I'll say they were.
Oh, hi, Ricky.
Look at all the wonderful things the baby and I got.
Oh, gee, that's swell.
Aren't they adorable? (chuckling): Oh, yeah Listen, honey, is dinner ready? Oh, honey, I've been so busy.
I forgot.
Well, honey, you know what time I have to get to work.
Oh, yeah, well, I'll fix something right away.
Look at this.
Isn't that cute? That's cute.
Look at this, honey.
Can't you just? Ooh, isn't that darling? I'll be right back.
Hey, Rick, did you see today's paper? No.
You made Winchell's column.
I did? Yeah! Ricky, Winchell! How wonderful! No kidding! Yeah, there's a whole item here about you.
Oh, imagine me in Winchell's column.
Yeah.
There it is.
"Carrot-topped Lucy Ricardo, formerly Lucy McGillicuddy "and currently one of show business's most beautiful wives is 'infanticipating.
'" Oh! Isn't that wonderful? How about that? It's a nice article about me, yeah.
You're in there.
You haven't finished it.
Here, read that.
Oh.
Oh.
Her husband is the bandleader.
Oh, that's wonderful, dear.
Let me see.
Look, Ethel.
Uh "Lucy Ricardo (mumbling) "beautiful " "infanticipating.
" Aw! We'll have to cut that out and save it.
It's the first time the baby's been mentioned in print.
Hey, you ought to start a scrapbook.
How 'bout dinner, eh? That's a wonderful idea! A baby scrapbook.
How 'bout dinner? I would love that.
I love keeping scrapbooks.
It'll have to be a great big one "Would you like dinner, Ricky? if it's already made Winchell's column.
"Yeah, I'd love some dinner.
" "What would you like?" "I would like a nice, big, thick steak; juicy.
" "Would you like some potatoes with it?" "Yes, please, and put plenty of butter in the potato.
" "How about some onions, Ricky?" "Oh! I would like to have some onions.
" All right, all right, all right, I'll fix you something to eat.
Would a nice piece of rare roast beef make you feel better? And how.
Okay, coming right up.
Okay.
Aw, gee, it was a wonderful shower.
Too bad you fellows couldn't be here.
Well, Ethel, I'd have come, (falsetto:) but I didn't have a thing to wear.
Oh, you, come on downstairs and I'll fix your supper.
Bye, Ricky.
Good-bye.
(laughs) Would this be rare enough? Oh, Lucy.
Well, I bought it.
I just forgot to cook it, that's all.
Don't you have anything else? Uh, yeah, how would you like a nice, thick, juicy, delicious fried egg sandwich.
No? Well, the surprise shower threw me off schedule.
I had a lot of things to do today, Ricky.
You should see the list of things I had.
Here, look, look at this.
"Buy roast beef.
" Well, congratulations.
Thank you.
"Pick up Ricky's laundry.
" Ew Now, you're not going to tell me that I don't have any clean shirts.
I'm not? Well, couldn't you stop by the laundry on your way to the club? "Pick up Ricky's tux at cleaners.
" Well, it's only a couple more blocks to the cleaners.
I better get going.
I got a lot of things to do.
Uh, you don't mind if I borrow your list, do you? No.
Thanks.
Well, honey, you have to eat.
Let me fix you something.
Oh, don't worry about me.
I'll get by.
I'll-I'll-I'll eat.
I'll get something, somehow, somewhere.
It's the doctor, dear.
Good morning, Ricky.
Hiya, Doc.
Now, what seems to be the trouble? You just tell me all about it.
Uh, well, he was very nauseated this morning.
Oh? And, uh Nauseated? Yes, and he has dizzy spells and he has pains in his stomach.
Pains in his stomach.
Uh-huh.
Hmm.
Every few minutes.
It must be something I ate last night.
I see.
Yeah, well, I suppose it's my fault.
I should've gotten you dinner, dear, instead of having that silly shower.
Hmm Yeah.
Hmm, no temperature.
Mrs.
Ricardo, do you mind if I talk to your husband alone for a moment? Oh, not at all.
Is it, is it serious, Doctor? Is it fatal? Come on, tell me.
I can take it.
Go ahead.
Tell me, Ricky, have you been feeling neglected lately, since your wife is going to have a baby? Neglected?! No.
Why? Well Think of all your symptoms.
You say you have morning sickness, right? Yeah.
Pains in the stomach? Yeah.
Dizziness? Yeah.
Don't you see, Ricky? They're exactly like the symptoms your wife has been having lately.
Oh, now, come on, what are you going to tell me, that I'm going to have a baby? (chuckles) No, I can definitely assure you you are not going to have a baby.
No kidding.
Now, for this I got to pay you for a house call? Now, come on, stop joking, will you? I'm not neglected, I'm sick.
I'm surprised you don't feel neglected.
Why, your wife even said she couldn't fix dinner for you last night because of the baby shower.
So? That didn't bother me.
Listen, if I wanted to get upset, I got a hundred things to get upset about.
She didn't pick up my laundry.
My suits weren't cleaned.
I come home on an afternoon off, I can't even sit and watch the ball game.
Now, what are you trying to say, that I'm sick because I'm feeling sorry for myself? Well, not Aw, come on, will you? That's the craziest thing I ever heard of in my whole life.
I'm sick because I ate something.
It didn't land in the right place.
It gave me a pain.
It made me dizzy.
That's what made me sick.
That's the craziest double-talk I ever heard in my life.
Well, on second thought, maybe I better have another look at you.
Oh Ah Yes, you definitely have ptomaine.
Well, that's more like it.
Hi, Lucy.
Oh, hi.
Did you find out what's the matter with Ricky yet? No, the doctor's still in there.
Oh, Doctor, what's the matter with him? Oh, it's nothing serious.
You know, Mrs.
Ricardo, sometimes, when a wife is expecting, the, uh, husband develops the same symptoms.
Really? Well, that seems strange.
Oh, no, no.
It's not unusual.
At a time like this, when everybody's interest centers around the expected child, the husband feels left out, neglected.
Oh, I don't think Ricky feels neglected.
Still, there was that baby shower yesterday.
Yeah, and you forgot to fix dinner for him.
Yeah, and I forgot to pick up his cleaning and his laundry and he did act kind of funny about that, didn't he? Exactly as I thought.
You know, if there was some way that you could figure out to make your husband the center of attention, I'm sure your troubles would be over.
Oh.
Well, I'll call you later on to see how you're getting on.
Well, thank you, Dr.
Rabwin.
Not at all.
Good day, ladies.
Bye.
Oh, my bag.
Now, how am I going to make Ricky the center of attention? I don't know.
Why don't you give him a baby shower.
Don't try to be funny.
Try to help me.
Hey, you know, that's not such a bad idea, at that: A daddy shower.
Yeah! We can have the men come and give Ricky presents for the baby.
Who could give it for him? Fred, who else? Do you think he would? He'd love it.
Come on, let's go tell him.
Okay.
What happened? What'd he say? Did he like the idea? He's crazy about it.
You should have seen him perk up when I told him.
He's practically well already.
Oh, that's wonderful.
Here's the list of fellas he wants me to invite.
Oh, Fred, I love you.
Mm! Thank you! Wow! I love you too, Fred.
Well (laughing) I hate to leave this little love nest but I'll see you later.
Okay.
Where are you going? Down to the recreation club.
I've got to make arrangements for our stag party.
Oh.
G'bye.
So long.
Bye.
Okay.
Bye-bye.
Oh, gee, won't they have fun? Yeah.
Stag party? What happened to the baby shower? Oh, I guess Fred would feel kind of funny asking men to a baby shower, so he's going to call it a stag party.
Oh.
Stag party, huh? Well, it's still a baby shower.
It is? Oh, now, Lucy, don't be silly.
You want Ricky to get well, don't you? Sure I want him to get well.
But I'd like to know what kind of medicine he's using.
When they call a party "stag," it means only men are allowed.
It does? Yeah.
Doesn't it? Well, there's one good way to find out.
How? What if a couple of uninvited stags showed up? Uninvited sta? You mean? Yeah.
Oh, Lucy! We could disguise ourselves.
What are you going to go as, an expectant father? Even if we could disguise ourselves, they know everybody who's going to be there.
Well, now, just leave it to me.
I'll think of something.
RICKY: Sure.
Yes, sir.
Well, we'll be happy to have you.
Yeah, well, come right over.
Okay, thank you.
Bye.
Hey, Fred? Yeah? This is getting to be quite an affair.
Why? Well, you know who that was on the phone? No.
It's a reporter.
Yeah.
He wants to bring a photographer over and they want to cover the first daddy shower.
Well, that sounds interesting.
What paper was it? He didn't say.
Wouldn't it be wonderful if we made the society page? Oh, boy.
(laughing) I can see it now.
"Fred Mertz poured last night "for Ricky Ricardo and some of his most intimate slobs.
" Well, here's the gang.
Hi! Congratulations.
(men talking excitedly) (whistling) Break it up, now, boys.
Break it up.
Now, remember, this is a shower, and let's do it right.
Now, first, everybody put their presents on that table.
FRED: All right right over here.
Oh, fellas! (laughing): Oh, gee whiz.
Oh, isn't that? Look- "From Jerry.
" Oh, yeah.
Oh, Jerry, you didn't have to do it.
Oh, well, it was nothing, Rick.
Just what I always wanted.
Oh, just a little something I thought you could use.
Oh, that's nice.
Well, let's start opening the presents, huh? (men clamoring) Yes? Is this the Ricardo party? Yes, I'm Ricky Ricardo.
How do you do? I'm from the paper.
Press.
Uh, press.
Yeah, press.
I see, yeah, well, what paper are you from? The New York Times.
The Herald Tribune.
The Herald Tribune.
The New York Times.
Well, actually, it isn't generally known, but, uh, it's the New York Herald Times Tribune.
Isn't that right, Sam? Yeah, that's right, Pete.
Uh, uh uh, listen, uh, you-you make yourself at home.
Will you, uh, will you pardon me for a minute? Sure, go ahead, take your shower.
I mean, have your shower.
(no audio) (no audio) What are you saving kings for, fella? (no audio) Listen, I want you to meet a couple of great guys here.
Jerry, this is Pete.
How are you, Pete? Sam, this is Fred.
Fred Mertz.
Pete, how are you? Fred Mertz? Glad to know you, Fred Mertz.
Uh, this, uh, the boys are from the newspapers.
They're coming over to write about our daddy shower.
Isn't that nice? JERRY: Oh, is that right? Yeah.
Well, uh, what do you like to know? Well, now, whose idea was this here shower? Uh, that was mine.
Oh, is that so, Mr.
Mertz? Yes.
I said to my old battle ax, I said "Why should the mother "why should the mothers get all the breaks? Why don't we do something about the fathers?" Oh, you said that, huh? That's what I said, yeah.
You're looking for a story, are you? I sure am.
Well, I've got a great story for you, Pete.
Oh, well, go ahead.
Yeah! Of course, you'd never be able to print this in a newspaper, you know.
(laughing) Tell it, Jerry.
Go on! All right.
All right.
Well, you see, there was this fella- he was a bachelor, a sort of a man about town, and he goes into this nightclub in Paris.
Ah! You say this whole thing was your idea, huh, Mr.
Mertz? Just a minute, Pete.
Just a minute, will you? Just let the young man tell his Yeah, let him tell the story, will you? Come back here, please? Let the fella tell it.
Now, one night, he goes into this nightclub, see? Uh-huh, yeah.
And this beautiful girl, a cancan dancer, Yeah, yeah? she's doing her act.
Uh-huh.
She's dancing, see? And this fella walks right up on the stage.
Uh-huh! She what I mean? She's dancing, and he's right there in the middle of the stage.
Now, do you get the picture? Uh, picture.
Yeah, yeah.
Oh Oh! Where'd he go? Where'd everybody go? Hey, hey, this way, this way, Pete.
That you, Sam? Yeah, that's me.
Come on, right this way.
I'm sorry we have to break this up, fellas, but I guess we'll have to go now.
Well, so long, fellas.
Yeah, well, good-bye, Sam.
Good-bye.
Good-bye, Pete.
So long.
Bye-bye.
Good-bye, Lucy.
FRED: Good-bye, Ethel.
Ricky Ricardo! I'm over here, honey.
Over here, over here, over here.
Oh.
How did you know? Well, for one thing, you're wearing my best tie and for another thing, you're the only man that I know that keep his mustache on with Scotch tape.
Fred, how did you see through my disguise? What disguise? Well, we just wanted to see what went on at a stag party.
Are you mad? No, sweetheart, I'm not mad.
(laughing) Oh, that tickles.
Ooh, it's cold outside.
Hi.
Did you get everything? Yeah, I got everything.
But if you don't stop having these silly cravings at 4:00 in the morning, I'm gonna freeze to death.
Here.
Is this pistachio? Yeah, that's pistachio.
Here's your spoon.
Which is that? Hot fudge.
Pour it on top.
That's right.
Ooh.
Now, pour that right on top of this.
But, honey, these are sardines.
I know.
Right on top.
Oh, boy.
Honey, how can you possibly eat that? Wonderful.
Mmm! You know, I'm surprised that you didn't get any cravings.
Me? When? When you were sick the other day 'cause you weren't getting enough attention.
I was sick because I ate something that made me sick.
Yes, dear.
Well, I was! Yeah.
All right.
You were.
Funny how you snapped out of it, though, after the doctor told us what we should do.
What do you mean? Uh nothing, dear.
Did the doctor tell you to give me that daddy shower just so I get some attention? No.
No, he just said that if we, you know, kind of made you feel that, well What's the matter? I don't know.
I feel kind of funny.
Again?! Hey, that looks pretty good.
Give me some, will you? Are you crazy? No, I'm not crazy.
Now don't be silly.
That looks good.
I got to have some.
Now, come on, give me some of that.
Ricky! Ricky, now stop! ("I Love Lucy" theme song playing) ANNOUNCER: Jerry was played by Jerry Hausner and the doctor by Lou Merrill.
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ANNOUNCER 2: This is the CBS Television Network.