Metalocalypse (2006) s02e19 Episode Script

Paranoia runs rampant in the Midwest.
as gangs destroy a truck terminal.
because of rumors of Dethklok's new album.
being stored in the warehouse.
There's a brand new head of the military.
who has vowed to fight terrorism on the home front.
Wow! Dethklok is certainly throwing a major.
record release party for the new CD! And 40,000 lucky fans.
are going to see a special Dethklok performance.
in a undisclosed location.
Whoa, what the whats de hells ams oh, my! I thought dats was unpossibles but theres you go! Dats too flexibles.
How could you dos that? I don'ts know, I mean there's Are you drinking straights vodkas right now? Don't worrys abouts it.
Toki, it's likes noons.
Thanks Bigs Bens.
Now I know what times it is.
I knows whats I'm doin's.
Toki, drinkings aints a contest, you know that.
Gets off my back! Hey! You guys watching that video.
of that guys suck his own you know what? Yuh! I thought that was CGI or something.
It's real guys, that real.
If I could does dat.
Right.
Why would I be in band? Good point.
I mean that's the whole point of all this, right? Why evens picks up a guitars again? Think about that, guys.
Everything we do in life is to try to get.
someone else to do that for you.
Rights because we can'ts reach.
Ohhhh, but if you could.
Dats why I don'ts believes in evolution or else the lips would be longers or something.
You guys talking about.
you know whating your own you know whats? Oh, god yeah.
I wouldn't even play the drums.
I'd move back in with my parents! 'Cause why? You know, why? If we could just reach! Dats what I'm sayings.
Guys! Stops dis conversations! We ams treadin's downs a paths of ultimate disappointment.
It's self destructives.
I'm tellin' yous! I know dat, Toki, okay? I know! I mean hey- what do you think I was trying to do.
right before I came down here.
Are you drinking straight vodka? This floor sures is dirt hows these floors gets so dirty? It's like noon Fire drill! Drop what your doing and find a way out! That's right, save your lives! No time to grab your belongings your life is on the line here! Come on, fire drill! Let's go! Keep moving! What? Ah, you're just looking at me! Fire drill! What are you doing? I'm doing a fire drill.
Why are you sighing and shaking your head? Huh.
You ask why.
It's because all of you are dead right now, okay? You're all being burned by fire.
And I'm sad, that you're dead.
And I'm disappointed in all of you.
for not listening to me your fire chief.
Because I could've Fire chief? Band fire chief.
And yes you.
We had a election! Gah! You was serious abouts dat? Serious about fire safety? Of course I'm serious! And I beat you all.
You all voted for me, it was a clean sweep! You were the only one that ran if I'm not mistaken.
So? Still a clean sweep.
Any day of the week.
Any political correspondent guy will tell you that.
I won.
Clean sweep.
Not an impressive one.
Yes it is! Listen.
Let's just stay on course here.
I'm talking about saving your lives! Yeah, yeah.
Now I got your attention.
I hear something about sucking your own? # Do anything for Dethklok # # Do anything for Dethklok # # Do anything for Dethklok # # Dethklok! Dethklok! Dethklok! Dethklok! # Crozier is now chief of all military operations.
And our influence will soon be his.
We are entering a dangerous time, master.
The balance is shifting, Vader Orlag.
It is to be expected.
How shall we proceed with General Crozier? Soon enough I will "enlighten" him.
And Dethklok? The time will come.
The time will come.
We will ship out soon.
Alright, we got a lot of stuff to cover today.
Number one the exclusive concert.
Number two CD release party here at Mordhaus but mostly I want to talk to you guys about security, alright? First of all, you guys Hey, hey check this out.
Check what I figured out how to do today in the shower.
Hey guys, what's going on? Holy! Hows did you do dats? - That's great! - That's amazing! All right, get it out of your system.
How are you doing that? Ah! Okay I did it with my voice! I invented it.
Called mimicry.
- Mimickskries.
- Imickskrels! Lunchables.
Not to brag or nothing but I can make totally make my voice sound like a trumpet.
Bull! Check this out.
Holy.
Hey, that's pretty good trumpet playin'.
Lms a trumpets! I ams a trumpets! Uh yeah, Toki.
That's pretty good.
Everyone's good to continue then? Yeah, go on.
Alright Downer.
I'm very concerned with security, alright? I'm doing everything in my power to make this Which reminds me.
I should take this time to let all of you know that I'm stepping down as band fire chief.
Oh boy.
I will take this time right now to listen.
to reason should any of you reconsider.
this position that you've forced me into.
No, thanks.
Oh, ha ha! That's high voice! Moving right along Hey.
Hey, listen.
Actually I would like to get serious for a moment, okay? If I could? Very well.
I, uh, I think it would be.
in the band's best interest.
to hire a Buddhist yoga instructor guy.
Dude.
Oh yeah! Yes, I second that.
Oh really.
What? Because You guys are interested in yoga or spiritual guidance? No because Yes! Yes! We want spiritual thing.
Is that really the reason? Yup, right guys? I thought we Ohhhhhh! Right.
I'm sorry.
I don't understand.
Why do you need this? We'd like to be able to reach things a little bit better.
To reach things? Yeah, reach things.
To reach things.
Yup.
Conversation, over.
Dethklok is still the most popular force on Earth.
They are now the 7 th largest economy in the world.
We believe that the world.
is now completely dependent upon Dethklok.
The new album will be a great relief.
to the depressed nations of the world.
Safe distribution of this album is critical to these nations.
Dethklok threat assessment.
Dethklok has enormous reverence from billions of fans.
But there is a major concern The Revengencers.
The Revengencers' numbers are growing.
The rumors of kidnapping recruits off the streets.
and controlling their minds are true.
They have developed a way of controlling people's minds.
using Dethklok's own music.
We believe that they control hundreds possibly thousands of mindless slave-soldiers.
We believe they have developed a powerful new weapon.
that uses sound waves.
We believe they are planning a significant attack.
sometime around the release of the new album.
Our country is very concerned about the security.
on this is a definite response The Revengencers are active in Russia also Gentlemen please.
Order! Order! I understand your concern.
over this heinous terrorist organization.
I give you my personal oath that I will stop.
The Revengencers or die trying.
There was a time a time when I was a different person.
A time when myself and my brother's credo.
was to die for Dethklok.
Things have changed.
I am reborn.
We are all reborn.
We were the fans we still have the power! Die for Dethklok.
It's time for Dethklok to die for us! I don't know about this guys.
I mean, do we have to, like Mm hmm Mm hmm hmm together all in the same room? Yuh, I means it's startings to feels a little on the homos-erotics side.
Okay, wait a minute maybe we should just try and see what happens.
Alright, you first Murderface.
What the? Why me? Now's not the time to chicken out, Murderface.
Now's the time to shine.
, You're right.
Right, ok.
Now suck your own.
Arghhhhhhh! Suck in your stomach! Pickles! Push my my body with your hands! Get it closer to my face.
I'm trying to! Guys.
Stop.
Stop.
Stop.
This is really gay.
Hey's guys, you sucks theirs owns! Waits for Toki! Whoa! Cah! Boo.
He's breathing.
He's fine.
I don't knows does hes seems a little different latelys? I know, I know.
Toki's been Guys, guys, what did we say when we formed the band? I know.
That we would never show interest, care or intervene in band mate's personal lives.
Never! - I know.
- Yeahhhhh.
So we're still sticking to that, then? That's been working so far.
Yeah, it has.
I mean, it has.
I wouldn't have a place to talk if we were to, you know intervene 'cause of how much I drink, but.
We can talk About him right? We can talk About him right? Yeah dat's not intersvenin's.
As long as it doesn't "help" him, I think we're good.
No, in fact, it hurts him maybe so, great.
That's even better.
Ok, then.
What the is wrong with him? Yeah, what an asshole? Idiot! That guys been's doin's a lot of days time drinkings.
Yeah, he's a mess! Yeah, did you smell his breath lately? Yikes.
Maybe it's all that weird That he's been going through.
kinda coming back to him, you know? That sounded dangerously.
close to "showing interest," Nathan.
You're right, you're right.
You're right, I'm done.
I'm done.
He's fine.
He's fine.
It's funny.
And no one's getting hurt.
Except for just now when he just fell down the stairs.
He got hurt.
- It's still funny.
- It's still funny.
No, it's funny.
It's slapstick.
Classics comedy.
Hey guys? One other thing before we, uh, disperse.
Uh, this whole thing about us sucking our own you know what Yeah.
I think we should just put that chapter behind us.
I mean, it's just it's just too gay for words.
You know you're right, you're right.
My heart hurts, but I think you're right.
Look, and I also thought about this.
I mean I mean, sucking your own hmph it's not very metal.
I mean we don't need any extra reasons but I'm just you know failures.
We're failures.
Don'ts does dat.
We're failures.
No, just listens it wasn'ts meants to be, okay? Alright, okay.
So we're all in agreement then? No more trying to suck our own.
Agreed.
Whoa Whoopsie daisy! You've considered my proposition? Yes I have.
Your alliance would mean much to us.
You bring forth great cunning and strength.
And you could get me close to Explosion.
And after you've had your way with him.
You may do as you wish.
Test Mordhaus defense systems.
Systems engage.
System functioning at 1000/0 sir.
Very good.
Flightklok Captain 408? Do you have your flight trajectory post concert? Yes, sir.
Very good then.
You all have the dossiers on the people of interest? Sir, yes we do.
Any luck finding him? Regretfully no, sir.
Where are you, you crafty son of a bitch? Where are you? Should anything go wrong whatsoever.
I'm looking to you.
You are the best soldiers we have.
This will no doubt be the most dangerous night in your life.
and Dethklok's life.
Protect yourselves protect Mordhaus and most of all protect Dethklok.
Yes, sir! Sir, the shuttles are ready to take you and the band.
to the performance rendezvous.
Let's make sure this record drops the way that it should.
Without a hitch.
Fall out.
Alright, it's time to go.
Wait, where are they? I called them an hour ago.
Ooohhh! Ow, my back! Get us a chiropractor on the Dethcopter, A.
S.
A.
P.
Where is everybody else? Ow! Ow! My back! Another chiropractor.
Aw my back! I don'ts feels good.
Way to go being all hung-over.
Let's get another stretcher get some B12 shots, and make some black coffee.
Guys? - Yeah? - Let's make it happen.
Asshole.
Sorry.
It's the night before the official release.
of Dethklok's highly anticipated new album.
Major cities around the world.
are throwing their own Dethklok parties.
This day has officially passed New Year's in popularity.
And even more exciting and decadent.
will be the Dethklok CD release party.
held at Dethklok's multi compound fortress home Mordhaus.
are being brought to an undisclosed location.
for an intimate exclusive 'private' performance.
Fans and journalists have scoured the Earth.
to find these Dethklok concert grounds.
The world is left wondering "where will this concert be?" # Tonight we ride # # On clouds of fire # # We sit with gods # # Our death's desire # # We fear no mortals # # In these worlds # # The gift we give you # # Is your soul # # Fly with us tonight # Oh great, another douche bag industry party.
Guys, stick around.
there's a bunch of people I wanna introduce you to.
Try not to get too wasted.
C'mon dats not fair.
It's a party! How about just pace yourselves.
Not like your buddy over there.
Why are you hunched over? Well, you see, I tried to suck my own d uhhh I tried I had to save some babies! Skwisgaar, this is the label head's son he wanted to ask you a couple quick questions about guitar.
Uh, you guys have fun.
I'm gonna be the fastest guitar player ever.
Sures, yeah.
One day, I'm gonna be the greatest guitar player.
that the world's ever seen.
Good.
Goods for you.
Goods for you.
So, what kinda amps are you gonna be using? Ones dat makes my guitars louders, okay? How many guitars do you take on the road? A millions billions.
How many extra strings do you take? Exactly how many packs or how many strings by themselves? How many strings by themselves.
Ones millions.
What kind of cables do you use? Do you use wireless? Well that's actuallys interestings I has been experi I gotta go.
Dis parties ams dildos.
Dancing for the cracker.
That's what we're doing.
It's humiliating.
Congrats! How about hugs all around? Congrats! What are those guys doing with that? That's the master.
Those boys are just taking it downstairs.
to put it in the secret vault.
Be careful boys, that's our livelihood right there! Should we say "secret vault" like at the top of our lungs? Hey I don't give a woooooo! Hey we're puttings our valuables in the secrets vault everybodys checks it out! Alright, Skwisgaar, that's okay.
Get a team around the boys.
What's going on? We just got hit by some huge force, we don't know what it is.
And the shields? They're down.
Those missiles are coming from there.
Release the Dethspiders.
We need to take that thing out.
You get on Dethklok now.
Get the guests to safety and you have the Dethsoldiers.
meet me in front of the alpha hatch in five.
Fire drill! Fire drill! Fire drill! Band fire chief! I'm talking about saving your lives! Fire drill! Fire drill! Ladies and gentlemen, keep calm and stay low! I will usher you to safety! Hey mama, follow me.
If you want to live.
Pickles! Skwisgaar! The master! Save the master! The master? The master record! Oooh, right! Right! Toki! Toki! Somethings smokings? Dids I leaves the Lunchables in the microwaves? Get up, get on my back.
You minds if is pass outs for the rest of this? We're safe here for now.
Arhhhhhhh! You don't know me but I know you.
Stands behinds me.
Wow, and the necks is still straights.
You.
You tried to kill me.
Kill? No.
What do you want, you crazy bitch? I show you what I want.
Get away from there! That was a backdraft.
Everyone just stay calm! You're saving all these people's lives! Just doing my job.
Takes dat, you German whore.
- Toki! - Takes that.
Such a shame, she's so hot, so crazy.
Just figureds that out? All the hots ones is crazy.
I guess you're right.
The ugly ones too.
There's a fire.
I'm only saying this.
because you're so drunk that you aren't going to remember.
and you won't tell on me for giving a.
About your life, but man you've been Way too drunk lately.
Hey Nathans? Is de real reasons you tells me dis.
is because you cares about me? Oh god.
You cares about me! Oh, Toki, don't do this to me right now.
Don't throw up.
I am going to show you something.
That you need to know.
You are mine now.
This is where it all ends.
We are deads.
Skwisgaar, before we die Yes, my friends? I I did it.
What are you talkings about? Last night, I I did it.
I sucked my own Last night.
I can die now.
I want you to stay alive.
I want you to stay alive while I torture you.
I want you to feel the pain.
That's my bread and butter you're with.