Mork and Mindy (1978) s02e19 Episode Script

MORK: Nanu, nanu! ( upbeat theme playing ) ( upbeat theme playing ) Okay, Mork, I'm ready to go.
( harmonica being played ) Mork? Mork.
( in low voice ): Shut the box.
What are you doing in there? I was just sitting in here because it reminds me of the house I used to have on Ork.
I had a condominium.
And this is a lot bigger, actually.
We were gonna go hiking, remember? Oh, Mindy, I'm not in the mood.
I'm thinking, my planet's so far away.
I can't even Oh, it's out there.
It sounds like you're homesick.
Oh, it's worse.
I'm Orksick.
Oh.
Orson promised me a vacation, then he said I couldn't go.
He said there was a story about the eggs being grounded because of cracks.
Oh, Mindy.
( cries ): Mindy, no.
Oh, it's not fair! Oh! Aw, Mork.
I'm I'm sure Orson will give you another vacation real soon.
Ha! A lot you know.
I'll never be able to skip through the fields of aluminum again picking little Tupperware buds.
And look up at those 18 moons.
Ork has 18 moons? Oh, yes.
That's why all of our coyotes have laryngitis.
It's real strange.
You'll see them at night going: ( Croaks ) Oh, you are depressed, aren't you? Well, I'll fix that.
Here, raise your left arm.
Now, raise your right arm.
( giggles ) That was wildly creative, Mindy, but it hardly lightens the load.
Oh, come on, Mork.
Life can be beautiful anywhere if you just give it the chance.
Mindy, stop looking at the world through WASP-colored glasses.
Don't you understand? I got a right to sing the blues.
Five, six, seven ( plays harmonica ) Oh, I wander Throughout the universe It just seems To make it worse I can't get it Off my mind I ain't had a close encounter Of any kind ( plays ) Oh, nanus is good news That's why I'm singin' These Orkan blues ( plays ) ( knock at door ) MORK: Probably an agent with a recording contract.
Oh, hello, Mr.
Bickley.
Sorry about the noise.
Noise? You mean the music? I danced all the way upstairs just filled with joy at being in the same building with musical Mork and perky little Mindy with the tweakable nose.
Got your nose.
La-la-la I have been truly blessed.
Ta-ta.
What's that? Did you say I forgot something, mayhaps? Now, what could it be? Ah, yes.
I would like both of you to come down to my apartment this evening to meet my son.
Your son? I didn't know you had a son.
Yes, I've done it all at least once.
Tom is a wonderful boy, and he's about your age.
And I'm sure you'll have a lot in common.
Seven-thirty? Sure.
We'd love to meet him.
I just knew you loved kids.
Here's your nose back.
La-la-la Do you believe it? See? Bickley actually does have a nice side.
I knew that if we waited long enough that eventually it would have to surface.
But won't that be interesting to meet his son? I can't go, Mindy.
I I have a date with self-pity.
Oh.
Come on, Mork.
Look, a lot A lot of times, a good way to get your mind off of your troubles is to do something nice for somebody else.
Like what? Tonight we'll go down to Bickley's, and you'll be nice to his son.
And in the meantime you can take me hiking like you promised.
All right.
I I don't want to ruin your day.
I'll take you hiking but I don't want to leave the apartment.
So you You just walk in place.
Walk in place.
Here we go.
Here we go.
You walk in place.
Here comes a quaking aspen.
Oh, no! Mork Oh, keep walking.
Keep walking.
A tap-dancing sequoia.
( laughs ) Here comes a little bunny.
Oh, no, a truck.
Pfft! ( upbeat theme playing ) ( knocking ) Come in.
It's open.
Hello? Oh, hi.
Hi.
Why are you sitting in the dark? I'm sorry.
The switch, it's on the wall by the door.
I was just reading.
Oh, gee, you shouldn't read in the dark.
You'll go bl Bl Uh I've been Bl Bl Bl For quite some time, now.
You know, I cannot wait until they come out with a Braille edition of Playboy.
Oh, well, I'm Mindy McConnell, and this is my friend Mork.
Oh, I'm I'm Tom Bickley.
Hi.
Hi.
This is my friend Dinah.
Yeah.
Hi.
Your father didn't tell us that I mean, uh, your father didn't He didn't say that I was blind? No.
Thank you.
Well, you know, Dad's not the kind of fellow that likes to brag.
Mindy, what does "blind" mean? It means that he can't see.
Oh.
I I was just testing.
You'll have to excuse Mork.
He's never seen a blind person before.
Neither have I.
What's the dog for? She's special.
She really is.
She She leads me around and she helps me find my shoes.
Most of the time, though, she just keeps me from making a fool out of myself.
That's what I have Mindy for.
( Tom laughs ) So is your father here? Mindy, show some sensitivity.
How would he know? No, no.
Dad called and said he'd be a little late, but that his best friends, Mork and Mindy, would keep me company.
Does "best" mean "only"? Ar! Um So how'd you get into the apartment? Oh, Dad left a key for me.
Hidden in the lock.
He's going to meet me later at the Purple Grotto Club.
I'm performing there.
Oh, you're a performer.
( imitating Ed Sullivan ): That's wonderful.
Does the dog do tricks? ( laughs ) No.
No, I'm I'm a singer.
I I sing about the thing that I can see with my other senses.
I mean, like, the sound of a squeaky porch swing or the friends I left back home.
( normal voice ): Oh, back home.
Anguish.
Renewed sorrow.
Mork, remember what I said? Oh.
You said I'm gonna do nice things for people.
Well, Tom, can I read you the newspaper or tell you if you're dressed funny? ( laughs ) I could do some mime if you'd Oh.
Uh, Mork's been trying to do nice things for people to cheer himself up.
You see, he, um He's been kind of homesick lately.
Well, I I get that way too, sometimes when I'm on the road.
MINDY: Yeah.
Hey, it's after 8:00.
I've got to get to work.
Oh.
Oh, how did you know what time it was? Oh, this is a special watch you can feel.
See? When Mickey's left hand is pointing to the 8, and his cane is pointing to 3.
Hey, listen, why don't you guys come along? I'm sure you could sit with Dad and see my act.
Oh.
Dinah, get your leash.
Well, that sounds like fun, doesn't it, Mork? Yes, ma'am, it does.
Mm-hm.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
TOM: Bring it back.
Come on.
Come on.
MINDY: Oh, isn't she wonderful? That's a good girl.
MINDY: She's just terrific.
Good girl.
That's no big deal, Mindy.
I can do that and I don't shed.
Mork, be nice? Oh, be nice.
Yes.
Well, um, c Can I help you put that on? Oh, yes, please.
Oh, gladly.
Okay.
Here we go.
( upbeat theme playing ) Ladies and gentlemen, the Purple Grotto is proud to present a very special entertainer: Mr.
Tom Bickley.
( all applaud ) Good evening, everybody.
I got a lot of great songs to sing for you tonight.
Fooled you.
( playing ) Believe in yourself If you believe in yourself Yeah ( all applaud ) Yeah.
Whoo! Ha-ha-ha! Thank you very much.
Thank you very much, ladies and gentlemen.
I really did have an incredible time being with you tonight, but do me a favor, would you? When you leave, drive carefully.
I always try to.
( all applaud ) Wasn't he great? And do you believe he writes all his own songs? Tom, you were wonderful.
Thank you, Mindy.
I enjoyed you too, even though I'm into heavy mope.
I guess my dad's late.
Yeah, I wonder what happened to him.
Well, he's got a lot of stuff to do.
I I'm sure he'll get here by the second show.
You know, we've got so much to talk about, and tomorrow, we might even get in a round of golf.
I didn't know you could play TOM ( laughing ): Yeah, I can play golf.
I'm really into sports, actually.
I water-ski and try to jog a few miles every day.
And I love to skydive.
You jump out of planes? I bet the hard part is to keep your dog from screaming, huh? Excuse me, folks.
Tom, the operator took this message for you while you were on stage.
Okay? Oh, thank you, Marty.
Thank you.
Mork, would you read this for me? Oh, sure.
All done.
I'll read it.
Oh, it's from your dad.
He says Oh, he says he can't be here.
He was called out of town, and he'll see you on your next visit.
( sighs ) Oh, that's too bad.
Yeah, well, that's my dad.
Always on the go.
When was the last time you two got together? Twelve years ago.
Twelve years? And he has the nerve to stand you up? You know, no big deal.
I mean, what's a few lows with all these highs? Boy, I wish I could feel like that.
Something's pulling at me, and I can't seem to shake it.
You know, you really can do anything you want to do.
I mean, remember the old saying: "When life hands you lemons, hey, make lemonade.
" I wish I could spend the day with you one day so you can teach me to enjoy the life the way you do.
I'm not sure.
How can I do that? Hey, don't ask me.
You're the blind guy.
( laughs ) ( upbeat theme playing ) Listen, are you really sure you want to do this? I want to see life the way you do.
Ready.
Okay.
Let's go.
Did you ever hear the ocean As it rushes to the shore? Did you ever Really understand What your senses Were meant for? Did you ever smell That green, green grass When the rain Begins to pour? If you haven't done These special things You don't know What life is for So get high on life The best is yet to come Get high on life You better let Your senses run Get a high on life You know the rest Is up to you You know, get high on life And let your sense Come through Love your senses Get a high on life Everybody knows Everybody knows They can get high on life Oh, yippee-yo-yi kai-oh, oy-vey.
( laughs ) Boy, I didn't know horseback riding could be such fun.
Ho! I rode that sucker.
Whew! Yeah, you were the hit of the supermarket, all right.
Too bad we ran out of quarters.
Well, my frown is down, my funk is sunk, and my gloom split the room.
Well, I'm glad you had a good day.
A good day? It was spectabulous.
Are you kidding? You taught me how to smell a sunset.
( sniffs ): There are the greens.
( sniffs ): There are the yellows.
I knew it.
Can we do that again tomorrow? And tomorrow we'll bring Mindy.
By the way, she wasn't there today.
Ar-ar! I'm afraid not, Mork.
I'm gonna leave town tonight after the show.
Oh, well, maybe after Mindy's class, we could, um, drive you to the airport and say goodbye.
Did I say something wrong? Maybe we could wave goodbye, but I think that would be kind of cruel.
Twelve years, and he hasn't even got time to say, "Hello.
" Who? My father.
Mork, I can't take it anymore.
I'm damn tired of being brushed off.
I thought you said to me that it didn't bother you.
I lied.
It bothers the hell out of me.
I'm his son.
Why is he avoiding me? I'd like to throw something at a wall right now, but I'm afraid I wouldn't hit it.
I thought you were the happiest guy in the whole world.
I'd be a lot happier if I had a father again.
I guess having a son with a handicap is more than he can face.
I think maybe your father's the one that has the handicap.
( dramatic theme playing ) I just don't understand it.
How could he ignore his own son? ( knock on door ) She'll get it.
Well, look who's here.
Oh, it's Mr.
Compassion.
Hi, there.
I thought you were out of town.
Well, I fibbed a little.
Actually, my dog Bickie and I were over at the Holiday Inn.
Need any soap or towels? What were you doing at the nation's innkeeper? I have my reasons.
Say, have you seen my son, Tom? Of course we've seen him.
Is he okay? How does he look? Has he grown any since he was 14? Mr.
Bickley, why do you keep letting down your own son? I never let him down.
I sent him to the best doctors.
I sent him to the best schools.
I sent him all the money he needed.
And there wasn't a Christmas that went by that I didn't send him a card.
Yeah, but how could he read it? Well, it's the thought that counts.
Well, Bick, I don't know about you.
I used to think so much of you, but now you've pushed it too far.
I think you better go back to the Holiday Inn and join the other people that are taking a vacation away from their responsibilities.
Please, don't send me away.
Please, don't send me away.
Where have I heard that before? A little 6-year-old boy said that to me when I had to send him away to a special school.
It broke my heart.
I couldn't afford the school, so I had to take a second job.
My wife was lonely.
I was never home.
Pretty soon, neither was she.
Love doesn't keep you together.
I'd like to wring Neil Sedaka's neck.
Bick, hiding doesn't help it.
He was better off if I left him alone.
He had to become independent.
You don't know what it's like to have a child born blind.
And what do you do, keep him inside so he'll be safe or f-freeze every time you hear a car horn? I had to make Tommy fend for himself, and now he probably hates me.
Oh, no.
He doesn't hate you, Mr.
Bickley.
He'd like to be with you very much.
Yeah? Well, the kid has rotten taste.
Listen, we were just gonna meet him at the club to drive him to the airport.
Why don't you come along with us and say goodbye? Goodbye? Yeah.
Tom's leaving tonight.
Well no, I couldn't.
I wouldn't know what to say after "goodbye.
" Well, maybe Bickley's right.
I mean, it's only been 12 years.
What's there to talk about? Yeah, actually, he probably is better off without you.
I mean, look at you.
You're mean, you're ornery, you're self-involved.
What could you possibly have to offer him? I'm his father.
Yeah, you think he still remembers? Okay.
I'll go with you.
Hallelujah, you old skunk.
( laughs ) May pigeons fly upside down the next time you wash your car.
I don't want Tom to know I'm in the room.
I'm gonna be totally silent.
And if either of you lets on I'm there, I'm gonna walk right out.
Then why even bother coming? I want to see him.
I may be gutless, but I'm not heartless.
( upbeat theme playing ) ( playing ) Hey, Tom, it's us.
Mork and Mindy and And Mindy and Mork.
Well, I'm I'm glad you both could make it.
My bags are packed and I'm ready to go.
Leaving on a jet plane, huh? I thought I'd get to the airport early and pick out a window seat.
Ar-ar-ar-ar.
Mork taught me that.
And Tom taught me to give life a feel.
Hey, I'm gonna miss you, you big palooka.
I'm gonna miss you.
I'm gonna miss both of you.
I'm just sorry that I didn't get a chance to see my dad.
Well, you haven't left town yet.
The night's but a fetus.
Come, let's sit and talk in a kind of mellow way.
We'll share some energy and be one, you know? You know, Tom, I really don't know Mr.
Bickley very well.
What was he like as a father? ( sighs ): Well Dad Dad was, uh, stubborn and cranky and grouchy and grumpy.
Sounds like a law firm for dwarfs.
I couldn't wait till he got home at night.
He always seemed to have time to play with me.
So you're saying that he was a good father.
TOM: Yeah, he really was unbelievable.
You know, he gave the best piggybacks in the world and didn't even seem to mind when I left gum in his ear.
And I remember the time he bought me a baseball.
Two hundred and thirty-six stitches on that thing.
And I remember swimming toward the sound of his voice my first time across the pool, And he said, "You can make it, Tom.
You can make it, Tom.
" And I did.
And then there was the last Christmas we spent at home.
And Dad opened the picture that I drew of him with crayon, and he said, "It looks just like me, Tom.
" I wish I had a father like that.
I didn't know Mr.
Bickley had those kind of feelings.
I wonder why people always hide the feelings that give them the most pleasure.
You know, I've I've got a song that I wrote.
I think it's kind of special.
I I'd like to sing it.
MINDY: Oh, yeah, we'd like that.
Yeah, I'd like it a lot.
( playing ) Beauty is in the eyes Of the beholder And that's what I want to do Hold you in my life forever And just keep on loving you Beauty's in the eyes Of the beholder So take a special look And see And Just possibly You will see the love And beauty That's in you and me Hey Look for the beauty Please That was for you, Dad.
How? How did you know I was here? You're still wearing that awful-smelling after-shave.
I could find you when I was lost in a circus.
It doesn't take a lot to find you in an empty room.
Mork calling Orson.
Come in, Orson.
Mork calling Orson.
Come in, Orson.
Mork calling Orson.
Come in, Orson.
What did you learn this week, Mork? Well, this week, sir, I learned to see by closing my eyes.
Have you been smoking your socks again, Mork? Oh, no, sir.
I met a man with no eyes who saw beauty everywhere.
Are there many people on Earth without sight? Oh, quite a few, sir, and generally they're looked upon as being handicapped.
Are people on Earth born with handicaps? Some are, but others create their own by giving up on themselves.
You really have learned to see, haven't you, Mork? Oh, better than ever, sir.
There's so much in life for us to sense and enjoy if we just wouldn't be so blind to it.
Good night, sir.
( upbeat theme playing )