Wander Over Yonder (2013) s02e19 Episode Script

1 Yip bi di dit bip bi-ee-i-di-dit Wander over yonder Yip bi di dit bip bi-ee-i-di-dit Wander over yonder Wander Wander over over yonder yonder Wander yonder Yip bi di dit bip bi-ee-i-di-dit Wander over yonder Alright! Hater! Yip bi di dit bip bi-ee-i-di-dit Wander over yonder Yip bi di dit bip bi-ee-i-di-dit Wander over yonder Wander Wander over over yonder yonder Wander yonder Yip bi di dit bip bi-ee-i-di-dit Wander over yonder Stupid Wander! Blew up my top secret storage facility and stole back all the stuff I rightfully stole first.
How could this day get any worse? Captain Tim! OK! OK! I give! You win! Who's a good boy? You's a good boy! Ha ha ha! Stupid Dominator! Stealing my planets! I hate him so much! Heel, Tim.
Heel.
Stupid Dominator! Blowing up my concert to impress her! I like her so much! Ha ha ha! Stupid! Dumb! Terrible! Worst! Day! Ever! Oh, Tim, you always brighten up a bad day! Hahaha! Stupid cafeteria! Serving tacos when I specifically asked for taquitos! Captain Tim, this is the worst thing that has ever happened! The worst thing that has ever happened! Tim? Tim? Tim? Tim? Tim? Tim? Tim? Tim? Tim? Tim? Tim? Tim?! Taquitos! Tim?! - You rang? - Who are you? I'm Tim, the lovable Watchdog! No, I'm looking for Captain Tim! - Ooh, I'm a captain now? - What? Ew, no! You're the wrong Tim and always will be! My mistake! Tiiiiiiii! Yeah? Oops, sorry.
Not me.
Watchdogs! We have toppled mighty empires, laid waste to fearsome enemies.
But today we face a mission more important than any we've ever encountered.
My Tim-Tim went bye-bye and I don't know where he is I miss my Tim-Tim! He's gone.
We survived! The nightmare is over! You happy Tim-Tim is gone? Overjoyed! Ha-ha-ha! Whoo! Oh, uh, sorry, sir.
I know you cared for that thing, but Captain Tim wasn't really a pet so much as a um, hideous monster trying to maul everybody on the ship.
But he was my hideous monster trying to maul everybody on the ship! Whoo-hoo! Yeah! Well, forget them! I am the great and terrible Lord Hater! I get what I want, when I want, and right now I want my buddy back! I shall unleash all of my power to find him! Excuse me, have you seen this Tim? Hey, has anyone tried to eat your face off recently? Do you have a tummy ache? 'Cause sometimes he spits acid in your tummy while you're sleeping.
Has anyone seen Captain Tim?! Yeah.
I've seen that thing.
Every night in my dreams before I wake up screaming, drenched in sweat and regret.
- So you have seen him then, or ? - I know his kind! Arachnomorphs.
Blood-sucking, acid-spitting beasts that can tear through the hull of your ship like tissue paper or your entire crew - That's my Tim-Tim! - Name's Ripov.
I've been trackin' the trail of mayhem and tears his species has spread across the galaxy.
- Kinda like a dogcatcher? - Yeah.
Kinda.
But I'm always one step behind them.
Never met anyone 'sides me who came up against one and survived.
With your help, I can finally hunt down this monstrosity and every one of his kind! I'm really just looking for the one, but great! Let's move! My best buddy's name is Captain Tim There's no one in the universe quite like him Quick and snappy happy little guy I love him just so much I think I might just die - Hey! I'm having like a moment here! - Quiet! I'm scanning for traces of the 'Morph's DNA.
Then I'll be able to track him.
Nothing.
Wait, is this a robot arm? Oh, sorry, that was a whole thing.
Here, try this.
Hey! Careful that's his favorite Squeepy-beepy! 'Morphs don't have a favorite anything! They're instinct-driven killing machines.
If you wanna survive, remember, they don't care about Squeepy-Beepies and they definitely don't care about you.
That's not true.
Captain Tim's a good boy.
Quinton VI.
'Morphs wiped out a colonial mining operation.
Tried to take my arm with it.
Oh, yeah? Wander ruined my invasion of Kameron, so Tim cheered me up with some love bites.
'Morph tried to eat me alive on Wutani.
Drooly Acid Kisses on Cluckon.
- Ambush at the Farbrix Lavadrome! - Game of fetch on Seacironicus V! - My grop.
So that's where they are.
- What? What is it? - It's Arachnomorph mating season.
- Arachno-what's-this-now? Every mating season, the Arachno-Queen summons all eligible males to their home world.
They travel on solar winds across the galaxy to fight for the Queen's honor and amusement.
Um, bros before Arachnos.
Tim would never leave me for some monster lady.
No emotion! Instinct! They fight to the death! And the lone survivor will emerge as the new Arachno-King.
Aw, Tim's a scrappy little guy! He can take care of himself! It's Captain Tim! Pull over! Pull over! The 'Morph home world.
After years of searching, the war is almost over, and nothing will keep the weary warrior from earning her rest on the fiery field of - I'm coming, Tim-Tim! - Don't open that - door.
- Umm sit.
You bugs messed with the wrong grizzled loner! I'm not gonna stop until I put down every last one of ya! You're gonna what? Bye-bye, Tim-Tim! Get away from my special little guy.
Rawr! Tim-Tim! Come to da-da! Are you nuts? They're mindless killing machines! Look who's talking! Ewww, gross! You got a moist towelette in one of those pouches? Quiet, you idiot! You don't want to alert the Queen It's OK.
Captain Tim will rescue me any second now.
- For the last time, no, he's - Captain Tim! Sir! I'm sorry I let you go alone, but I'm here to rescue you! No! Captain Tim! Hater! I saw this missing Tim sign and rushed to Captain Tim! Wander! I saw this missing Tim sign and assumed you would What! Captain Tim! Nope.
Watchdog Tim again.
Hey, what's goin' on in here? Captain Tim! In your face, Ripov! He beat up all those other jerks and now he's doing exactly what I said he was doing.
He doesn't care.
He can't change.
Their just gonna make more little monsters and we're gonna be baby food! Happy? Tim! Mmmm! I missed you so much! Ha! Double fake-out! Captain Tim burned you good! Captain Tim burned me good! Never leave me again.
Never ever ever.
You! Pretty impressive.
Even I couldn't take out a 'Morph Queen like that.
I guess bad things can change.
Ehhhhhhhhhh? Aww! Aww! Baby steps.
Oh.
Quit it! OK! Oh, Tim you always brighten up a bad day! Deep in the darkest woods I hide.
I keep you safe from what lurks outside.
Even the strongest cannot resist my power.
I can strike anyone, anywhere at any hour.
Only once you master me will you defeat your enemy.
- Yeesh.
Creepy.
- Ah, this riddle doesn't make any sense, but the map says this is the place.
Somewhere in these woods lies an ancient power, a power that could help us stop Dominator! So, all we have to do is carefully sneak in, run a meticulous survey of the area, approach the ancient power with caution and You're already in there, aren't you? Um isn't this is where you leave me hanging and charge headlong into some horrible danger you're somehow oblivious to or not? - Wander, you're not scared? - What? Nooo, of course not! Everyday is an adventure and everything is amazing, right? I just got a bad feeling about this Sylvia this place gives me I'm sure there's puh-lenty of other ways to thwart Dominator that aren't hidden in a dark and gloomy forest of terror and despair.
- So let's Orbble on outta here and see - Wander, nothing in this forest could possibly be as terrifying as Dominator destroying the entire galaxy.
But what if there's a Frankenstein in there? Oh.
Wander, there is not a Forest bad! Well there aren't any in there now! Seriously, what are you so afraid of? Come on.
Wander? You're right, Syl.
This ain't so bad! Sylvia! We're already lost! Wander! Just relax.
Try taking some deep breaths.
Wander, leaves rustle in the wind.
Old trees creak.
And twigs are snapping because I'm stepping on them.
Aw, don't worry, that's just a Wilhelm Warbler! Annoying and all over the place, but totally harmless.
Syl! Thing! Woods! Wander, there's nothing there.
Your eyes are just spooking out your head, buddy.
And if there was? Lady and Dutchess won't let anything hurt you, and neither will I.
Ha! Now what? Wander, I-I don't know what's gotten into you, - but you're seeing stuff that's just not - There! - OK, look - Behind you! Sylvia!!! Wander? Mime! Phantom! Phantomime! Oh, no, I've named them, thus giving them power! Calm down, buddy.
Your super-vivid imagination has taken the wheel and is driving you bonkers.
You need a distraction.
Here.
How about you strum a happy tune while I double-check the scroll? Cat-sittin' for kittens While wearin' my mittens The thump a heart makes when lovebirds are smittin' Drawing a doodle of a poodle named Noodle The cinnamon scent of warm blorpberry strudel Old dusty scrolls on which curses are written Becoming a zombie right after you're bitten Dancing ghost mimes that bounce just like springs The dry mouth and shivers that true terror brings Oh, grop! What are these terrible things?! - Guys, stop! - Wander.
OK, OK, it's all good, pal.
There's nothing around here except your best bud and I'm not gonna let anything happen to you, got it? - Maybe you need some rest.
- You're right, Syl.
As long as I've got my bestest bud by my side, I've got no reason to hide! Bud by my side no reason to hide Sylvia? Hello? Syl? King Binglebord, is that you? Phew! Oh.
Just a dream.
Phew! That was just a dream.
Phew.
Just a dream in a dream in a dream.
Frankenphantomimenstein! Wander, you okay ? Huh? Oh, wow, what a crazy dream.
-- Wait, that ancient scroll?- Got it.
Did it give you a great power? - Dom won't know what hit her! - Oh.
Then that means There was nothing to be afraid of.
Unless Awwww, man! Come on! Sylvia? Where are you? Right, I'm obviously still dreaming.
Nope, still there.
Still there.
Oh no Sylviiiiiaaaaahhh!!! I noticed the fire was dying so I Wander? Wander? Can you hear me? Wander, where are you? Wan der? W-Wander? Don't goof around.
Ahh! Sweet jumpin' flabbdraserry in a handbasket, he was right! Wander! She'll find me.
She always finds me.
She'll find me, they always find me.
They'll find me, they always find me.
Mimes find me.
I'm really tired of screaming! - Ah, you're OK! - Oh.
Thank grop, you're alive! Sylvia, I've got a lil' hunch we are not welcome in these woods.
Agreed.
Ancient power or no ancient power, I say get the grop outta here! Ow! Stop bouncin', ya creeps! Oh, that's actually way creepier.
I'm sorry, Syl! This looks like the end! Hey! You want me? Come and get me.
But keep your jazz hands offa my best friend! No! You can't go through her to get to me, because you have to go through me to get to her! No, I'm gonna protect you.
Nuh-uh! Let me protect you! - Sylvia look! - Huh? Where'd they go? Look, Syl.
They only show up when you're scared.
Ooo.
Idea! Wander? Wander? Where are you? - I'm here, Syl.
- Wander! Hiya, Syl.
- Wander! - Boo! - Wander! - Howdy.
- Wander! - How do you do? Quit it.
Sylvia, I'm very, very, very, very glad you're okay, but I'm sorry we didn't find the great power to stop Dominator.
But we did find it, Wander.
The answer to the scroll's riddle, "Only once you master me will you defeat your enemy.
" It's fear! There's more power in overcoming your fear than in any weapon.
Even Dominator isn't as scary as the thought of losing you.
And without anybody to scare, those Phantomimes are powerless to petrify any more people right?