What About Brian (2006) s02e19 Episode Script
What About Calling All Friends…
Previously on "What About Brian" We need to set some ground rules We don't need to talk about how our day was I don't care! Welcome to icing in the cupcake We really need to have our own bussiness Just Like Dave And Brian, Only Successful, Okay? Will You Marry Me, Deena Greco Again? You're Always Looking After Everyone, Brian, And You Need Someone To Look After You.
You Can't Take Me To That Basket.
You Can't Take Your sister To The Basket.
Well, You Gonna Pass The Ball There, Chief? Watch It.
Watch Left.
Oh! Ohh! What's Wrong With You, Man? He Said "Sister" Adam.
He Said The Word "Sister.
" Oh, Come On, Man! Focus! He Spt With My Sister, Dude.
I Can't Focus.
It's Not Natural.
I Can't Get It Out Of My Head.
Nic Has Slept With A Lot Of Guys, Okay? Ivy Said She Even Slept With Richie Sambora.
Richie Sambora? I Don't Know Richie Sambora.
Look, The Next Time That Picture Comes In Your Head, You Just Replace Adam's Head With Richie Sambora's Head.
Richie Sambora.
Come On, Ladies.
Hurry Up.
I Gotta Go To Work.
Okay, Man.
Come On, Little Man, You And Me.
Richie Sambora.
Richie Sambora.
Richie Sambora.
Ha! Ha! Ha! Ohh! Sambora Doesn't Work.
All Right, Spoils Tspthe Winner.
You, Mr.
Greco, As The Winner Of This Fine Game Of Two-On-Two, Get To Accompany Me To The Lakers Tomorrow Courtside, Jack Nicholson, Courtesy Of My Boss.
Oh, I Can't.
Why Not? 'cause I Gotta Go To This Crazy High School Reunion Thing.
With Deena? No, No, She's Gotta Go See Her Sick Grandmother Or Something.
Oh.
Okay.
Then How About You, Jimbo? Uh, Can't.
You Know, It's, Uh, It's Ivy Day.
What? I'm Sorry.
Did You Just Say That It Was "Ivy Day"? Once A Month, Ivy Gets A Day Where I Do Whatever E Wants Foreign Films, Bed, Bath And Whatever Anything.
Wow.
Ahem.
All Right, Brian.
Uh, What Do You Say? Well, As Happy As I Am To Be Your Third Choice, I Can't.
I Have To Watch The Kids For Dave And Deena.
Mm-Hmm.
And Even If I Could Go, I Wouldn't.
Why Not? Say You Won't Do It Again.
Do What? Nic You Won't Sleep With Her Again.
Brian, I Told You.
It Was One Moment A One-Time Thing.
She's A Widow.
You Don't Go Around Sleeping With Your Best Friend's Widowed Sister.
Oh, I See.
But You Can Go Around And Make Out With Your Best Friend's Fianc? The Night Before The Wedding? Is That Right? Okay, We Have To Make A Pact.
Uh-Oh.
We Have To Make A Pact From Here On Out, We Go Outside Our Circle Of Friends When It Comes To Women.
Deal? Sure.
Hello, Gentlemen.
Good Game? Yeah.
Yeah, It Was Great.
I'm Glad To See You're Working Off Those Love Handles, Dave.
Cold As Ice.
Frozen As The Tundra Of Siberia.
I Don't Have Love Handles, Do I? No.
Little Bit Of Back Fat, Maybe.
I Am 34, Though.
Can You Imagine Her In Bed? Yeah, I Can.
No, I Can.
You Know What It'd Be Like? No.
"Good bye, Greco! Work Off Those Love Handles! Go! Go! Go!" "Go! Go! Go!" Is It Your Mom's Mom? Uh, Yeah, It's My Grandma In Monterey.
My Mom Thinks This Could Be It.
Is Dave Going With You? Uh No.
He's Got This Other Thing.
Is Everythinokay? Oh, Yeah.
Everything's Great.
How Am I Gonna Do This Without You All Weekend? We're Not Ev Open Sundays.
It's Just For Tomorrow.
I've Mixed All The Batter.
I've Got Four Dozen Already Done In The Fridge.
It'll Be Fine, Okay? Uh-Huh.
And I'll Call You Tomorrow.
Hey, Did You Know You're On "Tastey Day"? Tasteyday.
Com? Let Me See That.
Oh, My God.
"Celebrity Hang Out.
" Oh, My God! Deena! Deena! We're On Tasteyday.
Com! He Was Tied To E Bed With A Miracle Drug In One Hand What Do You Want? A "Thank You," Maybe, For The Coffee? I Have Assistants To Get Me Coffee.
Besides, Brian And And Dave Can See You In Here.
I'm Your Lawyer, Remember? Oh, Hey, Um Ahem.
I Got These, Uh, These Tickets For The Lakers Tomorrow Night, If You Wanna Go.
Are You Asking Me On A Date? No, Not A A date.
You Know, If I Took Brian, It Wouldn't Really Be A-A Date.
Ahem.
Save.
Why Isn't This Thing Saving? What The What? Here.
Let Me Help You.
Okay, Uh, No, No, No, Okay.
All Right.
We Don't Help, Okay? We Don't Get Coffee, And We Don't Go To Games.
We Are Two People Who Have Sex With Each Other.
That Is All.
Nothing More.
You Know, You Can Pretend That You Don't Have These Real Feelings For Me But, Uh, We Both Know That's Not True.
You Should Just Admit It Already.
You'll Feel Better.
The Only Thing I Know Is Thayou Have Nothing Bettero Do This Weekend Than To Wait For Me To Be Available.
Please.
i Am Swamped This Weekend.
i Have A Date Tonight.
In Fact, I'm All Booked Up.
Even If You Wanted To See Me, The Only Time Would Be At This Laker Game.
But If You Don't Wanna Go, That's That's Fine.
I Guess I'll Just See You Next Week Or Not.
Oh, Crap! ladies And Gentlemen.
welcome To Flight 563, with Nonstop Service to Monterey.
please Make Sure all Carry-On Items are Stowed Securely unr The Seat In Front Of You or In The Overhead Bins.
Hi, Gorgeous.
Hey.
Hey.
These Are For You.
Thank You.
Mmm.
Do You Think Anybody Guessed? No, I Don't Think Anybody Has A Clue.
No? Mnh-Mnh.
You Ready To Go Get Married Again? Absolutely.
(Woman) Ladies And Gentlemen, we're Very Sorry For The Delay.
the Captain Will Be On Shortly with An Update.
Is Is Terrible.
It's Gonna Be Okay.
All Right? We Just Have To Be A Little Patient Right Now.
Yeah, But What About Dinner? We Were Gonna Go To Our Place, And We Were Gonna Order That Wine That You Used To Get Me Drunk On.
Yeah, I Remember.
We'll Eat Late.
Then I Promise You, I Am So Gonna Get You Drunk.
We're Gonna Be In The Air In A Few Minutes.
I Promise.
hello.
this Is Your Captain Speaking.
looks Like More Bad News sorry To Say, but The Fog Has Closed the Airport In Monterey.
they Don't Anticipate Opening the Airport Until Morning.
we're Very Sorry for Any Inconvenience.
"Sorry For Any Inconvenience"? We We Were On Our Way To Carmel! We We Got Married There 15 Years Ago, And We Were Gonna Renew Our Vows.
Hey.
It's Just It's Been A Really Tough Year.
You Know, We We We Had This Stupid Open Marriage Thing, And Then We Broke Up, But Then We Got Back Together, And We Haven't Had Sex In God Knows How Long.
I Mean, It Has Been A Really, Really This Weekend Was Very Important.
"Sorry For The Inconvenience"? I How About San Francisco? Is There Any Flights To San Francisco? Travel Agent? Yeah.
Yes, Two Two Seats, Last Flight Out.
We'll Take It.
We'll Take It.
Ay, Can You Hold On A Second? First Class, $3,000 A Piece.
$6,000? That's 1-Year's Tuition For Both Of Our Girls.
Yeah, We Can't Take It.
Uh, Yeah, We Can't.
Well, What Are We Gonna Do? I Got An Idea.
Ready To Go? Yes, Go! Let's Do It.
Go! Let's Go! It's Gonna Be Okay.
We Better Excuse Me! Excuse Me! Sorry.
Hi.
Where Are We Going? Right Over Here.
We're Gonna Go Look At The Boards.
Oh, Okay.
I Have No Idea What That Means! What Track Are We On? I-I-I What Track? I Thought You Knew! No, No, No, No.
All I Know Is We Got Three Minutes To Get There.
We Just Need To Ask Someone, Dave.
No, No, No.
There's No Time To Ask Anybody Anything.
Well, What Do You Wanna Do? We Gotta Just Go This Way.
We're Gonna Go This Way Right Here.
Come On! You Know What? Unh-Unh, This Is Crazy! I'm Gonna Ask Someone.
Fine.
(Man) Coast Starlight Railways, track 12 All Aboard.
Hi.
Excuse Me.
"All Aboard"? All Aboard Where?! 12, Honey! Track 12! Track 12! Oh! Oh, This Way! Come On! Coming Through! Excuse Me! Hold The Train! Dave! You Wake Him Up.
No, You Wake Him Up.
(Brian) Whoever Wakes Up Uncle Brian Is Grounded Forever.
Does This Mean You're Up? Give Me 20 More Minutes, I'll Do Anything.
Will You Play Pretty, Pretty Princess? I Will Play Pretty, Pretty Princess Until Bedtime Sunday Night.
Just Give Me 20 More Minutes.
Okay.
Okay.
You Gotta Be Kidding Me.
Hi, Natasha.
Hey, Are You Up? Of Course I'm Up.
I'm Always Up At, Uh,6:45 On A Saturday Morning.
Yeah, I Lost Theile.
What Do You Mean, You Lost It? I Lost The File! Uh, Okay, Relax.
I May Still Have It On My Computer.
It Just Might Not Be Current.
I'll Have To Check.
Are You Hearing Me? Brian, I Need You To Work Today.
Today? Listen, I Need You.
I Need To Come Over Now.
Um, There's A Slht Problem.
Wow.
What? I Don't Really Get That.
Really? This Is What It's All About.
I Can't Wait For This.
Oh, Come On.
If You Really Wanted It, You'd Be Doing It By Now.
I Mean, You Guys Always Say That, And Then You Go For The Girls That That Aren't Right For It.
No, You Don't Know That.
Kiss It.
Kiss The Frog, Uncle Brian.
Yeah, Kiss It.
No Wonder Dave Doesn't Get Any Work Done Here.
This Is Not A House.
This Is A Day Care.
Oh, Don't Worry.
I Called Someone To Watch The Girls So We Can Get Some Work Done.
Good, 'cause This Is Ridiculous.
Would You Like To Play? No, Honey.
Ion't Play.
No, You Can't Get The Door.
Princesses Don't Get The Door.
You Do It.
Yeah.
I Can't Believe I'm Taking Orders From A 4 Year Old.
I'm 6.
Whatever.
Am I Pretty? Yes.
Ah, Good Morning.
Supernanny Is Here.
(Man) All Aboard! passengers May Disembark Now! Is This Our Stop? Wait.
Is This I Think This Is Our Stop.
last Call! passengers Must Disembark Now.
Dave! Dave, Come On.
Get Up.
Come On.
It's Our Stop.
We Gotta Get Off.
At? Let's Go! Okay.
Grab Our Flowers.
Okay.
All Right, I'll Grab The Flowers Thanks For The Help, Pal.
Hi.
Hey, Thanks.
(Sighs) Oh, God.
I Think I Pinched A Nerve Gettin Off The Train.
Oh, Come Here.
Let Me Try Oh, I'm So Glad To Be Here Finally.
Ah, That's It.
That's It.
That's The Spot.
Good? It's The Spot.
You Got It.
Dave? We're Not At The Right Station, Are We? I Don't Ink So.
No, No, No, No, No! Stop The Train! Stop The Aah! Honey? Yeah? What Did You Do To Your Leg? I'm I'm Fine.
I Just Pulled A Hammy.
(Nicole) Okay, Who's Next? You Can't all Be Next.
I Mean, Can't You Just Form An Orderly Line? Didn't You Go To Grade School? I Really Need One Of Those Red Pulling-Ticket Things.
Okay, You You, Go.
A Dozen Chocolate.
A Dozen Chocolate.
Okay.
Uh, You Sure You Really Need A Dozen? Because That Really Seems Like A Lot, And And, Uh, You Know, It Goes Straight To Your Hips.
No, No.
I Want Chocolate Frosting With Vanilla Cake.
Chocolate Frosting With Vanilla Cake.
Um Okay, Look, I-I Gotta Go Check In The Back.
Evybody Hang Tight.
Where Are You, Deena? I Hate Your Stupid Sick Grandmother.
Okay, Calm Down.
You Can Do This.
You're A Professional.
Now Frosting? Vanilla? Chocolate! Hey, Hey, Hey, America, Inc.
, There Goes The U.
S.
A (Deena) Hey, You've Reached deena's Cell Phone.
leave A Message after The Beep.
Sex, Cars, Ladies, Bars Focus Up On The Lead Guitars Oh, My God! Oh! Come On, Come On, Take A Drink Well, I Don't Believe What The World Wants Me To I Need You Two T Come Down Here Right Away.
Ivy Day? I Don't Care If It's Christmas Day.
Get Your Butts Down Here Right Away, Please! Love, Love, Love Is All You Should Be Thinking Of Okay, Who's Next? Don't Be In A Bad Mood.
Bad Mood? I'm Not In A Bad Mood.
My Neck's Killing Me.
My Leg's Throbbing.
We're Not Gonna Make It To Carmel Until 2008, But I'm Not In A Bad Mood.
This Is great, Deen! Come On! It's The Best Trip Ever.
(Laughs) Would You Like For Me To Drive? No.
As Long As I Just Don't Press Down On The Gas Pedal Or Move My Head Around And Look Around, I'm I'll Be Fine.
Seriously? Okay.
Look, Honey, Just Go.
Just Turn.
(Deena) Slow Down! This Princess Is Gonna Turn Into A Monster (Falsetto Voice) And Then The Monster Took Baby Carrie With Him.
Whoa.
What Can You Please Keep It Down? We're Trying To Work Here.
Sure.
But The Baby Smells, And Monsters Don't Change Diapers, Do They? No, No, They Don't.
I'll be back in a minute Yes.
Hey, Baby Time.
Let's See What's Going On Here.
Whoa.
Jeez, What'd You Eat, A Rhino? So, Uh, Big Plans, Huh? Who's Your Date The Dirty Diaper Or The One Who Calls You "Pretty Princess Adam"? Ha Ha Ha.
You Kill Me.
I'm On To You, Really.
You Knew I Was Gonna Be Here.
Ha! Don't Flatter Yourself.
If Anyone Had A Plan Here, It Was You.
Me? Yeah, Showing Up Here, Dave's House, On The Weekend? You Knew You'd See Me.
You Might As Well Wear A Little Sign Around Your Neck That Says,"I Want Adam.
" Oh, Right.
So I'm Supposed To Believe That You Came Here To Actually Help A Friend Out.
Oh, Please.
Well, That's What Friends Do Not That You'd Know Anything About That.
Everything Okay? Uh, No, Actually.
It's It's Not.
I-I Really Actually Can't Work In This Zoo.
Can't We Just Leave The Kids With The Princess Here And Work Somewhere Else? No.
I'm Not Taking Care Of Three Kids By Myself.
That's It.
No.
Hey, Hey, Hey, What If I Get Someone To Help You Out? I'll Call Stephanie.
No! She Already Thinks I'm A Big Enough Idiot As It Is.
Wait Till She Sees Me In This Fairy Princess Crap.
I Think I Know What To Do.
Wow.
Those Dolls Are Beautiful! Thanks, Laura.
Mm-Hmm.
(Adam) Oh, She Really Is Amazing.
She's Like The Dog Whisperer, But With Kids.
Yeah, I Know.
It's Pretty Impressive.
So How'd You Convince Her To Come Over, Anyway? Cheese, Please.
I Didn't.
You Know, I Asked Her, And She Said Yes.
You Know, I Just Had This Feeling She'd Be Great With Them.
She's Got This Thing About Her The Way She's So Calm, You Know? And I Offered Her 100 Bucks.
What? I'm Just Kidding.
Relax.
Wow, It's Really All About Money With You, Isn't It? What? Anay, Who's Ready For A Picnic Out On The Patio? I Am! I Am! I Am! I Am! I Am! I Am! Me! Me! I'm Confused.
Are You Brian's Girlfriend, Or Is That Molly Marmalade With The Blond Hair And The Long Legs? That's Stephanie.
She's Brian's Girlfriend.
He And I Are Just Friends.
Mm.
Friends.
Right.
Anyway, I Should Get Back Out There.
I Was That Girl For A Very Long Time.
Excuse Me? You Know, The Friend Who Was Always There The One Who Sits Around And Waits For The Guy To Call And Does Whatever He Wants, Hoping One Day That He'll See The Light.
It Took Me About Seven Years To Finally Realize That my Guy Wasn't Gonna See The Light.
He Liked Things Fi Just The Way They Were, And, Heck, Why Wouldn't He, Right? Well, I'm Sorry It Didn't Work Out For You, But That Has Nothing To Do With Me And Brian, So Look.
I Don't Know Y, But I Do Know Brian Just A Little.
And This Is Not Gonna End The Way You Want.
It's Not A Movie.
You're Not Gonna Have Some Big Moment Where You Save The Day, And And He Comes Running Into Your Arms.
You Don't Know That.
Friendships Change.
They Get Deeper, More Meaningful.
Not Every Situation Is The Same.
Okay.
Sure.
Maybe You're Right.
It Does Happen, If People Are Open To It.
I Mean, Look At Adam And Nicole.
They Were Friends Forever, Since They Were Kids.
And Then And Then What? And Then They Slept Together.
I Mean, I'm Not Even Saying I Like Brian In That Way.
All I'm Ying Is, You Could Be Wrong.
Can I Help The Next Customer? Do You Know If The Red Velvets Are Wheat-Free? No.
Can You Find Out? Otherwise, I Could Go Into Anaphylactic Shock.
Then Order Something Else.
Anyone Else Have Any Questions? Are There Any More Pumpkin Spice? Do You Do Birthday Parties? Can I Special-Order Three Dozen And Have Them Frosted Like The Gay Pride Flag? This So Does Not Feel Like Ivy Day.
Need My Help Yet? No? So What's The Deal, Huh? You're, Uh, You're Sleeping With Nicole, To Well, Last Time I Checked, We're Not A Couple.
So What's The Problem? No, Um, No Problem.
I'm Just Just Curious.
Curious Or, Uh, Jealous? No, No, No.
See, I Am Not Jealous.
I'm If Anything, I'm I'm A Little, Well, Repulsed, That You're Sleeping With Other People While You're Sleeping With Me.
Yeah, Whatever, Miss "I'm Nojealous.
" Adam! Excuse Me, Excuse Me.
Um, Okay, I Need Help.
Stephanie's Here.
So? So Laura's Here, And Now She's Upset.
Laura's Upset? Stephanie Because I Didn't Call Her First.
Hey.
I Just Don't Understand.
I Had All Day Free.
Why Didn't You Call Me For Help With The Girls? I Just Thought Laura Would Be Good Well, You Know, More Appropriate I Mean, Just Enjoy Being With The Girls More.
Are You Saying That You Don't Think That I'm Good With Kids? No, That's Not It.
I'm Not Saying That At All.
'cause I Am Great With Kids.
I Have Nieces, You Know? Two Wait Three.
And I'm Sure You're Great With Them.
I Am! I Take Them To Get Mani-Pedis All The Time.
I'm Gonna Take The Girls To The Beach, Okay? Brian, Please.
I Wanna Help You.
Actually, You Know, S Tephanie Wanted To Take Them For A While.
Yeah, Laura, I Know You're Busy With Your Midterms.
So I'll Take It From Here.
And Then You Can Go To The Library Like You Wanted To.
All Right.
Guess I'll See You Later Then.
Yeah.
Go Run Along.
Girls, Where Are You? Thiss All Your Fault.
my Fault? My Fault? What Did I Do? I Would've Called Stephanie In The First Place, But You Thought It'd Be Weird After The Whole Thing That Went Down.
What Whole Thing Went Down With Stephanie? Are You Still Here? No No, No, No, No, No, No! No, No, No, No,.
Oh, No.
Oh, No.
Okay.
Okay.
Carrie And I Are Gonna Get Some Coffee.
We Know When We're Not Wanted.
Why Are People So Annoying? I Hate People.
I Hate Cupcakes.
I Hate Sprinkles.
Who The Hell Are You? Bill.
I Was Just Trying To Buy A Cupcake For My Daughter.
Can I Go Now? No.
Keep Working.
Maybe We Should Just Close.
Yeah.
Y-Y-Y-Yeah, Come On.
It's Just One Day.
Come on We Can't Close.
We Can't Give Up.
Failure Is Not An Option.
You Got That, Bill? Yeah, I Got It.
You Know Something? You Worked Much Better This Morning When You Had That Tiara On Your Head.
Do You Think Laura's Mad? Laura? You Should Really Be Worried About Stephanie.
You Basically Told Her That She'd Make A Terrible Mother.
I Did Not.
Well, You Implied It.
And She's Your Girlfriend, Not The Other One Which, By The Way, Dating A Girl Like Stephanie Is The Perfehe Example Of What I Was Saying Before.
You Don't Really Wanna Get Married, Because If You Did, You'd Be Dating Someone Who Was An Actual Possibility.
Yeah, And What About You? When Was The Last Time You Were In A Relationship? Me? No, No, No, No.
I Don't Do Relationships.
Exactly.
You Know, At Least I'm Out There.
At Least I Take Risks With People.
Where Are You Going? I'm Done Working.
It's Saturday, And I'm Not The One Who Lost The File.
You Did.
So You Fix It.
You Can Just Let Yourself Out When You're Done.
And By The Way, Stephanie Would Make A Great Mother.
I Thought We Were Getting Mani-Pedis.
We Are, Honey.
I Promise, But My Stupid Agent Called, And He Made Me Come On In, So Today's The Only Day For This Audition.
I Wanted Flower Petals On My Toes.
Oh, Right After This, We're Gonna Go.
You Guys Just Sit Here, And I'll Be Back In One Minute, Okay? Looks Like You Two Are Next.
Shall We Get Started? Um, We're Waiting For Stephanie.
Is That Your Mom? No.
Oh, Is Stephanie One Of The Girls In Casting? (Both) Yeah.
Well, Come With Me Then.
You Two Are Cute.
Who Wants To Be A Star? Mei Do! It's Right In Here.
Come On.
This Road Does Not Exist, Okay? We We Are Lost In The Middle Of Nowhere On An Imaginary Road, Okay? Watch Out! Aah! Ow, My Neck! The Map! Whoa! Oh! Is The Car Overheated? The Car's Overheated! God, This Can't Be Happening Right Now.
It's Gonna Be Okay, Honey.
No, It's Not Gonna Be Okay.
It's Not The Way It's Supposed E, Okay? We Were Supposed To Be In Carmel Last Night, Staying At The Highlands Inn.
We Were Supposed To Wake Up Late And Have Breakfast In Bed, And We Were Supposed To Drink Champagne All Afternoon And Get Ready For Our Wedding Like We Did 15 Years Ago! And Now Everything Is Just It's Just screwed! We Are Gonna Miss R Own Wedding Ceremony.
It's At 6:00.
Honey, It's Okay.
No, It's Not Okay.
Honey, It Doesn't Really Matter, Does It? I Mean, It We're Just Going To Renew Our Vows.
It Doesn't Matter If We Get There At Midnight Or At 4:00 In The Morning.
It Does Matter, Deen.
It Matters.
It Matters Because The Druidic Priestess Is Gonna Meet Us There At 6:00.
Mona? Yes, Mona.
Mona The Druidic Priestess From Our First Wedding.
I Found Her.
She's Coming At 6:00.
That's Th's The Most Romantic Thing I've Ever Heard.
My Wedding Dress? Oh So It Does Matter, Deen.
It Matters 'cause I Planned This Whole Thing To Be The Best Weekend Of Our Lives And I Planned It So We Could Go Back In Time And We Could Find Those People That We Used To Be.
You Know Those People, Deen? You Know, The The Crazy Kids Who Were So Young And Stupid And And In Love, Like You Read About.
I Want Those People Back, Deen.
I Want Us Back.
Come On.
(Mat Kearney) Here Comes It's All Blowing In Tonight I Woke Up This Morning To A Blood-Red Sky They're Burning On The Bridge, Turning Off The Lights We're On The Run I Can See It In Your Eyes I'm Holding On To You, Holding On To Me Maybe It's All Gone Black, But You're All I See Oh, Hey, Look.
Here's Mama's Cupcake Shop.
Mom, Can We Just Get An Ice Cream? No.
We've Waited In Line This Long.
You're Gonna Get A Cupcake, A Nd You're Gonna Like It.
All Right.
Okay Hey, No Cuts, Bozo.
Hey, There's A Line Here.
To The Back, Pal.
All Right, Relax.
I'm Just Looking.
Excuse Me.
Excuse Me.
Watch Your Toes.
Watch Your Toes.
I Got A Baby Here.
Watch Out.
Sorry.
Ahem.
Excuse Me.
Jeez, Hey, Dude, Are You Sure You Don't Wanna Go To The Laker Game With Me? I Can't, All Right? Ivy Day Has Turned Into Ivy Night.
This Is The Worst Ivy Day Ever.
Okay.
So, Uh Hey, Nicole, What's With All The Bald Cupcakes? Well, We Had An Assembly Line, But There Just Wasn't Time, And And Now We We Gotta Make Things To Order.
(Sighs) I've Totally Failed Deena.
Hey, Hey.
Hey, Hey, Hey.
There Is No Crying In Baking.
The Nicole I Know Wouldn't Give Up Like That.
Now Where's The Fighter, Huh? The Savvy Businesswoman? Whers The Animal I Know And Love? Is That A Reference To Ouright In The Bedroom? Yes, It Is.
You're Right.
What Am I Thinking? I Mean, I Ran A Major Record Label.
I Stayed Up For A Week Straight With The Rolling Stones.
I Have The Stamina Of A Lion.
I I Mean, These Are Cupcakes We're Talking About, For God Sakes.
I Can Do This.
Yeah.
You You Wanna Help? I'll Helonly If You Go To The Laker Game With Me Afterwards.
Done.
It's A Date.
Oh, My God.
That Was So Worth The Wait.
Mm.
I Think They Agree.
Know What The Best Part Is? We Get To Do It Over And Over Again, For The Rest Of Our Lives.
You're So Beautiful.
And You.
You Look Fanstic.
I N't Have Love Handles Or Anything? No.
Gosh, No.
I Think You Are Leaner Than Before.
Yeah? Harder.
You Know What? Who Cares If We Missed The Vows? Who Cares If We Missed The Hotel? Exactly! Who Cares?! Right? Who The Hell Cares?! Why Don't You All Just Come On Out? I Love You, Deena Greco! I Love You, Dave Greco! I Love You, Dave And Deena Greco! Yes! Seriously, Where The Hell Are We? I Think We Are Exactly Where We Need To Be.
Oh.
I Bet You The Car's Cooled Down.
We Could Try To Get Ck To The Main Road And Make The Wedding.
God, I Love You.
Can I Come In? I Wanted To Apologize.
I Know I Didn't Handle Things Very Well Back There.
No, You Didn't.
I Let Stephanie Take Theirls Because I Thoughit Would Make Her Happy, But All I Could Think About Was You Sitting Here, Being Sad Because Of Me.
I'm Not Sad.
You Sure? You Know, 'cause You Looked Pretty Sad Before You Left.
Either That, Or You Wanted To Kill Me.
I Don't Wanna Kill You.
I Just I Really Like Spending Time With Those Girls.
They're So Sweet Innocent, And I Was Like That.
You Know? A Little Girl, All Happy And Free With No Idea How It Feels To Want Something You Can Never Have.
You're Amazing.
You Can Have Anything You Want.
Doesn't Seem To Happen.
I Don't Know.
Maybe It's Me.
Maybe I'm Too Shy Or Too Quiet.
What Are You Talking About? Wait, What Are You Talking About? What Is It That You Want? Tell Me.
You Really Have No Idea? Oh, God.
I'm Sorry.
You Should Get That.
I Don't Want To.
You Have To.
You're Responsible For Your Friends' Kids.
Hi, Stephanie.
Calm Down.
Calm Down.
What? What? Stephanie Lost The Girls! Stephanie! I'm So Sorry, Brian.
I-I Only Left Them For Five Minutes.
Should We Call The Police? How Long Have They Been Missing? About 40 Minutes, Sir.
40 Minutes?! We Have Extra Guards Posted Around All The Fences.
We're Checking Cars And I.
D.
S As They Leave The Lot.
No One Is Getting On Unless They're An Employee Of The Company.
That Was A Great Audition! Are There Any Other Physical Details You Can Tell Me About The Girls? Mrs.
Conner Couldn't Exactly Remember What They Were Wearing.
Yeah.
Uh, Geneva The Older One She Was Wearing A Gray Hoodie Sweatshirt, A Pink Tie-Dyed Shirt, Uh Pink Skirt With Those Ugg Boots.
And Larissa The Younger One She Was Wearing A Jean Skirt With A Pink Sweatshirt With Butterflies On It.
Butterflies? Yeah, Yeah, Butterflies.
Oh, Thank God.
Girls, Where Did You Go? This Lady Came Out And Gave Us Some Lines To Read.
And We Got Juice Boxes.
I'm So Glad That You're Safe.
How Did You I Saw Some Kids Coming Out Of An Audition.
What's A Callback? Because I Have One Tomorrow At 5:00.
I Shoulde Never Brought Them Here.
How Am I Ever Gonna Be A Good Mother If I Can't Even Take Care Of These Guys For Three Hours? Who Loses Two Kids? Hey, Steph.
Steph, Come On.
What Kind Of Person Does That? Come On.
Come On.
Even Parents Sometimes Make Mistakes.
You Know, Kids C Get Away From You.
I Just Look, If You Had An Audition, I Just Wish You'd Call Me.
I Know.
I Know.
It's It's Over Now.
All Right? They're Safe.
Hey, What Do You Say We Go Out And Get Some Pizza Or Something? How's That Sound? Yeah! Yeah! I Want Pizza! Yeah, I Want Pizza, Too.
What Do You Guys Want? Uh, Pepperoni.
Cheese.
Pepperoni? Laura, Where You Going? You Go With Your Girlfriend.
I Don't Wanna Be This Person, Brian.
I Don't Wanna Play Games.
Stephanie's My Friend, And I Want You To I Want You To Go With Her Please.
Hey, What Are You Guys Doing? Uh, This Is Where We Got Married 15 Ars Ago.
Cool.
Mona? Dave! Wow.
Deena! Oh, It's Great To See You.
Oh, Look At You! Oh, Look At You! Oh, You Look Different.
Well, You Know, I Well, I'm Not Really A Druid Anymore.
My Husband Works In Silicon Valley, And He Wanted Us To Raise Our Kids Episcopalian.
Jason! This Is My Son Jason.
Hey, Jason.
Hi.
So You Two Wanna Renew Your Vows? Uh-Huh.
Yes, We We Want To.
Oh.
Oh, That Is So Great.
I Mean, Most Couples These Days Just Seem To Wanna Break Up.
Yeah, Well, We Did, For A Little While, And Then We Realized It Was A Mistake, And So That's Why We're Back Here.
Yeah, Yeah.
That's Great.
Well, See, That Was Then, And This Is Now, So, Uh Here Is To, Uh, New Beginnings.
Now Do You Have The Candles, Honey? All Right.
Oh, I Don't, Uh Do You Hey, Do You Have A Light, By Any Chance? Gotta Light The Candles.
Yeah.
Here You Go.
Oh, You Know What? In This Wind Look, We'll Just Pretend They're Lit.
Yeah.
It's Fine.
You Ready? Yeah.
Yeah.
737 Mother Earth We Are Here Today To Ask Your Blessings For Dave And Deena, Two Of Your Children Who, In The Hubbub Of Life, Have Lost Their Most Valued Possession Each Other.
15ears Ago, We Stood At This Same Sacred Spot, And They Were Surrounded By Their Family And Most Beloved Friends.
Today They Come To You Anew.
You Know What, Mona? Can We I'm Sorry.
Can We Just Get A Second? Oh, Uh, Sure.
Sure, Yeah.
Does This Feel Right To You? No.
No.
Okay.
Not At All.
I Mean, The Quest Thing To Get Back To Who We Were Is Great Yeah.
But It's Just Not But This Is Not Who We Are Anymore.
Wewe're Dave And Deena Yeah.
But We're Also Geneva And Larissa And Carrie And Nic And Adam And Brian.
I Just You're Totally Right.
I Don't Wanna Do It Without Them.
Neither Do I.
God, I Love You.
Okay.
Let's Go.
Well, That Was Fun.
One Of The Best Dates I've Had In A Long Time.
Is Anyone Home? Uh, Doesn't Look Like It.
Hello? Hello? Anyone Home? Oh.
Hey.
I, Uh, Actually Just, Um, Forgot My Power Cord On My Laptop.
Um So, Uh, How Was The Game? You Found A Date.
Yeah, Yeah.
We Had A Great Time, Too, Didn't We? Yeah.
Carrie Was A Little Bored.
Well, I'm Gonna Go Put Her Down Now.
All Right.
Um I'm I'm Gonna Go.
I Know Wt's Going On Between You And Adam.
So Don't Hurt Him, Okay? Excuse Me? He's My Friend.
M Just Saying Be Careful.
Friend.
Are You Sure That's All? 'cause I Actually Know About You Two About What Happened.
So? So Maybe Youant To Be More Than Friends? Adam And I Are Not Gonna Get Together.
I'm Not Right For Him.
But I Don't Think You Are, Either.
Who Wants Pizza? Me! Me! I Do! I Do! Yeah? Hey, You're Still Here.
I, Uh, Just Forgot My Power Cord.
Jimmy And Ivy Are On Their Way Over.
I Promised Them We'd All Hang Out And Have A Lot To Drink.
You Wanna Stay? Pizza, Beer And Cupcakes? Yeah, You Should Stay.
Um, Yeah.
Sure.
All Right, Great.
Well, I'll, Uh, I'll Go Get The Drinks.
All Right, Who Wants The One That's Really Puffy? Hey.
Hey.
So, Um I Was I Was Thinking.
Um, This Arrangement Maybe, Uh, Maybe We Should Amend The Rules A Bit.
Hmm.
I'm Listening.
Um, Well, From Here On Out, Um, We Have Sex With Just Each Other.
We're Still Not Dating Or Or In A Relationship, But It's Exclusive.
Hmm.
Well, I'll Agree To Your, Uh, Amendment On One Condition That, Uh, You Admit That You Were Jealous.
Okay.
I'll Admit That I Was Jealous A Little.
Does That Make You Happy? Ecstatic.
Come On, Hot Stuff.
Let's Go.
I Never Wanna See Frosting Again.
Frosting Is Disgusting.
I Never Wanna Go O Another Audition Again.
Me, Neither.
Yeah, I Never Wanna Work On A Saturday Again.
Yeah, Well, Let's Just Be Glad That The Day Is Over.
Mm.
For Real.
Wow.
Mommy! Daddy! What? Whoa! Wait, What Are You Guys Doing Here? What Areyou Guys Doing Here? Is Your Grandma Okay? She She Feel Better? Oh, No, No.
Grandma's Fine.
What? I Thought You Two Weren't Going Away Together.
What's Going On? It's Actually Kind Of Perfect That You Guys Are Here.
Um, We Got A Little Bit Of News.
Uh, Mona? Mm-Hmm.
Hi.
Everybody, This Is Mona.
You Look Familiar, Mona.
Mona, Uh Mona Mona Married Us 15 Years Ago.
Yep.
And She's Here Today So That We Can Renew Our Vows.
We're Gonna Get Married Again.
This Is Incredible! Yeah! Listen, We We Were Just Hoping That, You Know, You Guys Would Wanna Be Our, Uh, Our Witnesses.
Absolutely.
Luat's Wonderful.
Come Here.
Aw! I Love Ivy Day.
I Love Ivy Day, Too.
Come Here.
We Are Here Tonight To Celebrate The Union And Reunion Of Dave And Deena.
It Hasn't Always Been Easy, But Then, Nothing Worth Having Ever Is.
True Love Is Like A Twisted Old Vine.
Over Time, The Two Strands Become So Intertwined, It's Impossible To Tell Where One Starts And The Other One Ends.
And From This Vine Comes Life New Flowers, New Beginnings And, Yes, New Challees.
But With The Proper Care, This Vine Continues Growing And Turning And Climbing, Always Strengthened By The Fact That This Love Is Stronger Because The Two Strands Are Now One Strong Vine.
So I Ask You Here Tonight, Dave And Deena, In Front Of Those Friends That You Love Best Are You Ready To Commit Yourself Once Again To Love Passionately And Completely For The Rest Of Your Days? I Do.
I Do.
Can I Get An "Amen"? Amen! It's About Time! Come On! I'm Debi.
You Can't Take Me To That Basket.
You Can't Take Your sister To The Basket.
Well, You Gonna Pass The Ball There, Chief? Watch It.
Watch Left.
Oh! Ohh! What's Wrong With You, Man? He Said "Sister" Adam.
He Said The Word "Sister.
" Oh, Come On, Man! Focus! He Spt With My Sister, Dude.
I Can't Focus.
It's Not Natural.
I Can't Get It Out Of My Head.
Nic Has Slept With A Lot Of Guys, Okay? Ivy Said She Even Slept With Richie Sambora.
Richie Sambora? I Don't Know Richie Sambora.
Look, The Next Time That Picture Comes In Your Head, You Just Replace Adam's Head With Richie Sambora's Head.
Richie Sambora.
Come On, Ladies.
Hurry Up.
I Gotta Go To Work.
Okay, Man.
Come On, Little Man, You And Me.
Richie Sambora.
Richie Sambora.
Richie Sambora.
Ha! Ha! Ha! Ohh! Sambora Doesn't Work.
All Right, Spoils Tspthe Winner.
You, Mr.
Greco, As The Winner Of This Fine Game Of Two-On-Two, Get To Accompany Me To The Lakers Tomorrow Courtside, Jack Nicholson, Courtesy Of My Boss.
Oh, I Can't.
Why Not? 'cause I Gotta Go To This Crazy High School Reunion Thing.
With Deena? No, No, She's Gotta Go See Her Sick Grandmother Or Something.
Oh.
Okay.
Then How About You, Jimbo? Uh, Can't.
You Know, It's, Uh, It's Ivy Day.
What? I'm Sorry.
Did You Just Say That It Was "Ivy Day"? Once A Month, Ivy Gets A Day Where I Do Whatever E Wants Foreign Films, Bed, Bath And Whatever Anything.
Wow.
Ahem.
All Right, Brian.
Uh, What Do You Say? Well, As Happy As I Am To Be Your Third Choice, I Can't.
I Have To Watch The Kids For Dave And Deena.
Mm-Hmm.
And Even If I Could Go, I Wouldn't.
Why Not? Say You Won't Do It Again.
Do What? Nic You Won't Sleep With Her Again.
Brian, I Told You.
It Was One Moment A One-Time Thing.
She's A Widow.
You Don't Go Around Sleeping With Your Best Friend's Widowed Sister.
Oh, I See.
But You Can Go Around And Make Out With Your Best Friend's Fianc? The Night Before The Wedding? Is That Right? Okay, We Have To Make A Pact.
Uh-Oh.
We Have To Make A Pact From Here On Out, We Go Outside Our Circle Of Friends When It Comes To Women.
Deal? Sure.
Hello, Gentlemen.
Good Game? Yeah.
Yeah, It Was Great.
I'm Glad To See You're Working Off Those Love Handles, Dave.
Cold As Ice.
Frozen As The Tundra Of Siberia.
I Don't Have Love Handles, Do I? No.
Little Bit Of Back Fat, Maybe.
I Am 34, Though.
Can You Imagine Her In Bed? Yeah, I Can.
No, I Can.
You Know What It'd Be Like? No.
"Good bye, Greco! Work Off Those Love Handles! Go! Go! Go!" "Go! Go! Go!" Is It Your Mom's Mom? Uh, Yeah, It's My Grandma In Monterey.
My Mom Thinks This Could Be It.
Is Dave Going With You? Uh No.
He's Got This Other Thing.
Is Everythinokay? Oh, Yeah.
Everything's Great.
How Am I Gonna Do This Without You All Weekend? We're Not Ev Open Sundays.
It's Just For Tomorrow.
I've Mixed All The Batter.
I've Got Four Dozen Already Done In The Fridge.
It'll Be Fine, Okay? Uh-Huh.
And I'll Call You Tomorrow.
Hey, Did You Know You're On "Tastey Day"? Tasteyday.
Com? Let Me See That.
Oh, My God.
"Celebrity Hang Out.
" Oh, My God! Deena! Deena! We're On Tasteyday.
Com! He Was Tied To E Bed With A Miracle Drug In One Hand What Do You Want? A "Thank You," Maybe, For The Coffee? I Have Assistants To Get Me Coffee.
Besides, Brian And And Dave Can See You In Here.
I'm Your Lawyer, Remember? Oh, Hey, Um Ahem.
I Got These, Uh, These Tickets For The Lakers Tomorrow Night, If You Wanna Go.
Are You Asking Me On A Date? No, Not A A date.
You Know, If I Took Brian, It Wouldn't Really Be A-A Date.
Ahem.
Save.
Why Isn't This Thing Saving? What The What? Here.
Let Me Help You.
Okay, Uh, No, No, No, Okay.
All Right.
We Don't Help, Okay? We Don't Get Coffee, And We Don't Go To Games.
We Are Two People Who Have Sex With Each Other.
That Is All.
Nothing More.
You Know, You Can Pretend That You Don't Have These Real Feelings For Me But, Uh, We Both Know That's Not True.
You Should Just Admit It Already.
You'll Feel Better.
The Only Thing I Know Is Thayou Have Nothing Bettero Do This Weekend Than To Wait For Me To Be Available.
Please.
i Am Swamped This Weekend.
i Have A Date Tonight.
In Fact, I'm All Booked Up.
Even If You Wanted To See Me, The Only Time Would Be At This Laker Game.
But If You Don't Wanna Go, That's That's Fine.
I Guess I'll Just See You Next Week Or Not.
Oh, Crap! ladies And Gentlemen.
welcome To Flight 563, with Nonstop Service to Monterey.
please Make Sure all Carry-On Items are Stowed Securely unr The Seat In Front Of You or In The Overhead Bins.
Hi, Gorgeous.
Hey.
Hey.
These Are For You.
Thank You.
Mmm.
Do You Think Anybody Guessed? No, I Don't Think Anybody Has A Clue.
No? Mnh-Mnh.
You Ready To Go Get Married Again? Absolutely.
(Woman) Ladies And Gentlemen, we're Very Sorry For The Delay.
the Captain Will Be On Shortly with An Update.
Is Is Terrible.
It's Gonna Be Okay.
All Right? We Just Have To Be A Little Patient Right Now.
Yeah, But What About Dinner? We Were Gonna Go To Our Place, And We Were Gonna Order That Wine That You Used To Get Me Drunk On.
Yeah, I Remember.
We'll Eat Late.
Then I Promise You, I Am So Gonna Get You Drunk.
We're Gonna Be In The Air In A Few Minutes.
I Promise.
hello.
this Is Your Captain Speaking.
looks Like More Bad News sorry To Say, but The Fog Has Closed the Airport In Monterey.
they Don't Anticipate Opening the Airport Until Morning.
we're Very Sorry for Any Inconvenience.
"Sorry For Any Inconvenience"? We We Were On Our Way To Carmel! We We Got Married There 15 Years Ago, And We Were Gonna Renew Our Vows.
Hey.
It's Just It's Been A Really Tough Year.
You Know, We We We Had This Stupid Open Marriage Thing, And Then We Broke Up, But Then We Got Back Together, And We Haven't Had Sex In God Knows How Long.
I Mean, It Has Been A Really, Really This Weekend Was Very Important.
"Sorry For The Inconvenience"? I How About San Francisco? Is There Any Flights To San Francisco? Travel Agent? Yeah.
Yes, Two Two Seats, Last Flight Out.
We'll Take It.
We'll Take It.
Ay, Can You Hold On A Second? First Class, $3,000 A Piece.
$6,000? That's 1-Year's Tuition For Both Of Our Girls.
Yeah, We Can't Take It.
Uh, Yeah, We Can't.
Well, What Are We Gonna Do? I Got An Idea.
Ready To Go? Yes, Go! Let's Do It.
Go! Let's Go! It's Gonna Be Okay.
We Better Excuse Me! Excuse Me! Sorry.
Hi.
Where Are We Going? Right Over Here.
We're Gonna Go Look At The Boards.
Oh, Okay.
I Have No Idea What That Means! What Track Are We On? I-I-I What Track? I Thought You Knew! No, No, No, No.
All I Know Is We Got Three Minutes To Get There.
We Just Need To Ask Someone, Dave.
No, No, No.
There's No Time To Ask Anybody Anything.
Well, What Do You Wanna Do? We Gotta Just Go This Way.
We're Gonna Go This Way Right Here.
Come On! You Know What? Unh-Unh, This Is Crazy! I'm Gonna Ask Someone.
Fine.
(Man) Coast Starlight Railways, track 12 All Aboard.
Hi.
Excuse Me.
"All Aboard"? All Aboard Where?! 12, Honey! Track 12! Track 12! Oh! Oh, This Way! Come On! Coming Through! Excuse Me! Hold The Train! Dave! You Wake Him Up.
No, You Wake Him Up.
(Brian) Whoever Wakes Up Uncle Brian Is Grounded Forever.
Does This Mean You're Up? Give Me 20 More Minutes, I'll Do Anything.
Will You Play Pretty, Pretty Princess? I Will Play Pretty, Pretty Princess Until Bedtime Sunday Night.
Just Give Me 20 More Minutes.
Okay.
Okay.
You Gotta Be Kidding Me.
Hi, Natasha.
Hey, Are You Up? Of Course I'm Up.
I'm Always Up At, Uh,6:45 On A Saturday Morning.
Yeah, I Lost Theile.
What Do You Mean, You Lost It? I Lost The File! Uh, Okay, Relax.
I May Still Have It On My Computer.
It Just Might Not Be Current.
I'll Have To Check.
Are You Hearing Me? Brian, I Need You To Work Today.
Today? Listen, I Need You.
I Need To Come Over Now.
Um, There's A Slht Problem.
Wow.
What? I Don't Really Get That.
Really? This Is What It's All About.
I Can't Wait For This.
Oh, Come On.
If You Really Wanted It, You'd Be Doing It By Now.
I Mean, You Guys Always Say That, And Then You Go For The Girls That That Aren't Right For It.
No, You Don't Know That.
Kiss It.
Kiss The Frog, Uncle Brian.
Yeah, Kiss It.
No Wonder Dave Doesn't Get Any Work Done Here.
This Is Not A House.
This Is A Day Care.
Oh, Don't Worry.
I Called Someone To Watch The Girls So We Can Get Some Work Done.
Good, 'cause This Is Ridiculous.
Would You Like To Play? No, Honey.
Ion't Play.
No, You Can't Get The Door.
Princesses Don't Get The Door.
You Do It.
Yeah.
I Can't Believe I'm Taking Orders From A 4 Year Old.
I'm 6.
Whatever.
Am I Pretty? Yes.
Ah, Good Morning.
Supernanny Is Here.
(Man) All Aboard! passengers May Disembark Now! Is This Our Stop? Wait.
Is This I Think This Is Our Stop.
last Call! passengers Must Disembark Now.
Dave! Dave, Come On.
Get Up.
Come On.
It's Our Stop.
We Gotta Get Off.
At? Let's Go! Okay.
Grab Our Flowers.
Okay.
All Right, I'll Grab The Flowers Thanks For The Help, Pal.
Hi.
Hey, Thanks.
(Sighs) Oh, God.
I Think I Pinched A Nerve Gettin Off The Train.
Oh, Come Here.
Let Me Try Oh, I'm So Glad To Be Here Finally.
Ah, That's It.
That's It.
That's The Spot.
Good? It's The Spot.
You Got It.
Dave? We're Not At The Right Station, Are We? I Don't Ink So.
No, No, No, No, No! Stop The Train! Stop The Aah! Honey? Yeah? What Did You Do To Your Leg? I'm I'm Fine.
I Just Pulled A Hammy.
(Nicole) Okay, Who's Next? You Can't all Be Next.
I Mean, Can't You Just Form An Orderly Line? Didn't You Go To Grade School? I Really Need One Of Those Red Pulling-Ticket Things.
Okay, You You, Go.
A Dozen Chocolate.
A Dozen Chocolate.
Okay.
Uh, You Sure You Really Need A Dozen? Because That Really Seems Like A Lot, And And, Uh, You Know, It Goes Straight To Your Hips.
No, No.
I Want Chocolate Frosting With Vanilla Cake.
Chocolate Frosting With Vanilla Cake.
Um Okay, Look, I-I Gotta Go Check In The Back.
Evybody Hang Tight.
Where Are You, Deena? I Hate Your Stupid Sick Grandmother.
Okay, Calm Down.
You Can Do This.
You're A Professional.
Now Frosting? Vanilla? Chocolate! Hey, Hey, Hey, America, Inc.
, There Goes The U.
S.
A (Deena) Hey, You've Reached deena's Cell Phone.
leave A Message after The Beep.
Sex, Cars, Ladies, Bars Focus Up On The Lead Guitars Oh, My God! Oh! Come On, Come On, Take A Drink Well, I Don't Believe What The World Wants Me To I Need You Two T Come Down Here Right Away.
Ivy Day? I Don't Care If It's Christmas Day.
Get Your Butts Down Here Right Away, Please! Love, Love, Love Is All You Should Be Thinking Of Okay, Who's Next? Don't Be In A Bad Mood.
Bad Mood? I'm Not In A Bad Mood.
My Neck's Killing Me.
My Leg's Throbbing.
We're Not Gonna Make It To Carmel Until 2008, But I'm Not In A Bad Mood.
This Is great, Deen! Come On! It's The Best Trip Ever.
(Laughs) Would You Like For Me To Drive? No.
As Long As I Just Don't Press Down On The Gas Pedal Or Move My Head Around And Look Around, I'm I'll Be Fine.
Seriously? Okay.
Look, Honey, Just Go.
Just Turn.
(Deena) Slow Down! This Princess Is Gonna Turn Into A Monster (Falsetto Voice) And Then The Monster Took Baby Carrie With Him.
Whoa.
What Can You Please Keep It Down? We're Trying To Work Here.
Sure.
But The Baby Smells, And Monsters Don't Change Diapers, Do They? No, No, They Don't.
I'll be back in a minute Yes.
Hey, Baby Time.
Let's See What's Going On Here.
Whoa.
Jeez, What'd You Eat, A Rhino? So, Uh, Big Plans, Huh? Who's Your Date The Dirty Diaper Or The One Who Calls You "Pretty Princess Adam"? Ha Ha Ha.
You Kill Me.
I'm On To You, Really.
You Knew I Was Gonna Be Here.
Ha! Don't Flatter Yourself.
If Anyone Had A Plan Here, It Was You.
Me? Yeah, Showing Up Here, Dave's House, On The Weekend? You Knew You'd See Me.
You Might As Well Wear A Little Sign Around Your Neck That Says,"I Want Adam.
" Oh, Right.
So I'm Supposed To Believe That You Came Here To Actually Help A Friend Out.
Oh, Please.
Well, That's What Friends Do Not That You'd Know Anything About That.
Everything Okay? Uh, No, Actually.
It's It's Not.
I-I Really Actually Can't Work In This Zoo.
Can't We Just Leave The Kids With The Princess Here And Work Somewhere Else? No.
I'm Not Taking Care Of Three Kids By Myself.
That's It.
No.
Hey, Hey, Hey, What If I Get Someone To Help You Out? I'll Call Stephanie.
No! She Already Thinks I'm A Big Enough Idiot As It Is.
Wait Till She Sees Me In This Fairy Princess Crap.
I Think I Know What To Do.
Wow.
Those Dolls Are Beautiful! Thanks, Laura.
Mm-Hmm.
(Adam) Oh, She Really Is Amazing.
She's Like The Dog Whisperer, But With Kids.
Yeah, I Know.
It's Pretty Impressive.
So How'd You Convince Her To Come Over, Anyway? Cheese, Please.
I Didn't.
You Know, I Asked Her, And She Said Yes.
You Know, I Just Had This Feeling She'd Be Great With Them.
She's Got This Thing About Her The Way She's So Calm, You Know? And I Offered Her 100 Bucks.
What? I'm Just Kidding.
Relax.
Wow, It's Really All About Money With You, Isn't It? What? Anay, Who's Ready For A Picnic Out On The Patio? I Am! I Am! I Am! I Am! I Am! I Am! Me! Me! I'm Confused.
Are You Brian's Girlfriend, Or Is That Molly Marmalade With The Blond Hair And The Long Legs? That's Stephanie.
She's Brian's Girlfriend.
He And I Are Just Friends.
Mm.
Friends.
Right.
Anyway, I Should Get Back Out There.
I Was That Girl For A Very Long Time.
Excuse Me? You Know, The Friend Who Was Always There The One Who Sits Around And Waits For The Guy To Call And Does Whatever He Wants, Hoping One Day That He'll See The Light.
It Took Me About Seven Years To Finally Realize That my Guy Wasn't Gonna See The Light.
He Liked Things Fi Just The Way They Were, And, Heck, Why Wouldn't He, Right? Well, I'm Sorry It Didn't Work Out For You, But That Has Nothing To Do With Me And Brian, So Look.
I Don't Know Y, But I Do Know Brian Just A Little.
And This Is Not Gonna End The Way You Want.
It's Not A Movie.
You're Not Gonna Have Some Big Moment Where You Save The Day, And And He Comes Running Into Your Arms.
You Don't Know That.
Friendships Change.
They Get Deeper, More Meaningful.
Not Every Situation Is The Same.
Okay.
Sure.
Maybe You're Right.
It Does Happen, If People Are Open To It.
I Mean, Look At Adam And Nicole.
They Were Friends Forever, Since They Were Kids.
And Then And Then What? And Then They Slept Together.
I Mean, I'm Not Even Saying I Like Brian In That Way.
All I'm Ying Is, You Could Be Wrong.
Can I Help The Next Customer? Do You Know If The Red Velvets Are Wheat-Free? No.
Can You Find Out? Otherwise, I Could Go Into Anaphylactic Shock.
Then Order Something Else.
Anyone Else Have Any Questions? Are There Any More Pumpkin Spice? Do You Do Birthday Parties? Can I Special-Order Three Dozen And Have Them Frosted Like The Gay Pride Flag? This So Does Not Feel Like Ivy Day.
Need My Help Yet? No? So What's The Deal, Huh? You're, Uh, You're Sleeping With Nicole, To Well, Last Time I Checked, We're Not A Couple.
So What's The Problem? No, Um, No Problem.
I'm Just Just Curious.
Curious Or, Uh, Jealous? No, No, No.
See, I Am Not Jealous.
I'm If Anything, I'm I'm A Little, Well, Repulsed, That You're Sleeping With Other People While You're Sleeping With Me.
Yeah, Whatever, Miss "I'm Nojealous.
" Adam! Excuse Me, Excuse Me.
Um, Okay, I Need Help.
Stephanie's Here.
So? So Laura's Here, And Now She's Upset.
Laura's Upset? Stephanie Because I Didn't Call Her First.
Hey.
I Just Don't Understand.
I Had All Day Free.
Why Didn't You Call Me For Help With The Girls? I Just Thought Laura Would Be Good Well, You Know, More Appropriate I Mean, Just Enjoy Being With The Girls More.
Are You Saying That You Don't Think That I'm Good With Kids? No, That's Not It.
I'm Not Saying That At All.
'cause I Am Great With Kids.
I Have Nieces, You Know? Two Wait Three.
And I'm Sure You're Great With Them.
I Am! I Take Them To Get Mani-Pedis All The Time.
I'm Gonna Take The Girls To The Beach, Okay? Brian, Please.
I Wanna Help You.
Actually, You Know, S Tephanie Wanted To Take Them For A While.
Yeah, Laura, I Know You're Busy With Your Midterms.
So I'll Take It From Here.
And Then You Can Go To The Library Like You Wanted To.
All Right.
Guess I'll See You Later Then.
Yeah.
Go Run Along.
Girls, Where Are You? Thiss All Your Fault.
my Fault? My Fault? What Did I Do? I Would've Called Stephanie In The First Place, But You Thought It'd Be Weird After The Whole Thing That Went Down.
What Whole Thing Went Down With Stephanie? Are You Still Here? No No, No, No, No, No, No! No, No, No, No,.
Oh, No.
Oh, No.
Okay.
Okay.
Carrie And I Are Gonna Get Some Coffee.
We Know When We're Not Wanted.
Why Are People So Annoying? I Hate People.
I Hate Cupcakes.
I Hate Sprinkles.
Who The Hell Are You? Bill.
I Was Just Trying To Buy A Cupcake For My Daughter.
Can I Go Now? No.
Keep Working.
Maybe We Should Just Close.
Yeah.
Y-Y-Y-Yeah, Come On.
It's Just One Day.
Come on We Can't Close.
We Can't Give Up.
Failure Is Not An Option.
You Got That, Bill? Yeah, I Got It.
You Know Something? You Worked Much Better This Morning When You Had That Tiara On Your Head.
Do You Think Laura's Mad? Laura? You Should Really Be Worried About Stephanie.
You Basically Told Her That She'd Make A Terrible Mother.
I Did Not.
Well, You Implied It.
And She's Your Girlfriend, Not The Other One Which, By The Way, Dating A Girl Like Stephanie Is The Perfehe Example Of What I Was Saying Before.
You Don't Really Wanna Get Married, Because If You Did, You'd Be Dating Someone Who Was An Actual Possibility.
Yeah, And What About You? When Was The Last Time You Were In A Relationship? Me? No, No, No, No.
I Don't Do Relationships.
Exactly.
You Know, At Least I'm Out There.
At Least I Take Risks With People.
Where Are You Going? I'm Done Working.
It's Saturday, And I'm Not The One Who Lost The File.
You Did.
So You Fix It.
You Can Just Let Yourself Out When You're Done.
And By The Way, Stephanie Would Make A Great Mother.
I Thought We Were Getting Mani-Pedis.
We Are, Honey.
I Promise, But My Stupid Agent Called, And He Made Me Come On In, So Today's The Only Day For This Audition.
I Wanted Flower Petals On My Toes.
Oh, Right After This, We're Gonna Go.
You Guys Just Sit Here, And I'll Be Back In One Minute, Okay? Looks Like You Two Are Next.
Shall We Get Started? Um, We're Waiting For Stephanie.
Is That Your Mom? No.
Oh, Is Stephanie One Of The Girls In Casting? (Both) Yeah.
Well, Come With Me Then.
You Two Are Cute.
Who Wants To Be A Star? Mei Do! It's Right In Here.
Come On.
This Road Does Not Exist, Okay? We We Are Lost In The Middle Of Nowhere On An Imaginary Road, Okay? Watch Out! Aah! Ow, My Neck! The Map! Whoa! Oh! Is The Car Overheated? The Car's Overheated! God, This Can't Be Happening Right Now.
It's Gonna Be Okay, Honey.
No, It's Not Gonna Be Okay.
It's Not The Way It's Supposed E, Okay? We Were Supposed To Be In Carmel Last Night, Staying At The Highlands Inn.
We Were Supposed To Wake Up Late And Have Breakfast In Bed, And We Were Supposed To Drink Champagne All Afternoon And Get Ready For Our Wedding Like We Did 15 Years Ago! And Now Everything Is Just It's Just screwed! We Are Gonna Miss R Own Wedding Ceremony.
It's At 6:00.
Honey, It's Okay.
No, It's Not Okay.
Honey, It Doesn't Really Matter, Does It? I Mean, It We're Just Going To Renew Our Vows.
It Doesn't Matter If We Get There At Midnight Or At 4:00 In The Morning.
It Does Matter, Deen.
It Matters.
It Matters Because The Druidic Priestess Is Gonna Meet Us There At 6:00.
Mona? Yes, Mona.
Mona The Druidic Priestess From Our First Wedding.
I Found Her.
She's Coming At 6:00.
That's Th's The Most Romantic Thing I've Ever Heard.
My Wedding Dress? Oh So It Does Matter, Deen.
It Matters 'cause I Planned This Whole Thing To Be The Best Weekend Of Our Lives And I Planned It So We Could Go Back In Time And We Could Find Those People That We Used To Be.
You Know Those People, Deen? You Know, The The Crazy Kids Who Were So Young And Stupid And And In Love, Like You Read About.
I Want Those People Back, Deen.
I Want Us Back.
Come On.
(Mat Kearney) Here Comes It's All Blowing In Tonight I Woke Up This Morning To A Blood-Red Sky They're Burning On The Bridge, Turning Off The Lights We're On The Run I Can See It In Your Eyes I'm Holding On To You, Holding On To Me Maybe It's All Gone Black, But You're All I See Oh, Hey, Look.
Here's Mama's Cupcake Shop.
Mom, Can We Just Get An Ice Cream? No.
We've Waited In Line This Long.
You're Gonna Get A Cupcake, A Nd You're Gonna Like It.
All Right.
Okay Hey, No Cuts, Bozo.
Hey, There's A Line Here.
To The Back, Pal.
All Right, Relax.
I'm Just Looking.
Excuse Me.
Excuse Me.
Watch Your Toes.
Watch Your Toes.
I Got A Baby Here.
Watch Out.
Sorry.
Ahem.
Excuse Me.
Jeez, Hey, Dude, Are You Sure You Don't Wanna Go To The Laker Game With Me? I Can't, All Right? Ivy Day Has Turned Into Ivy Night.
This Is The Worst Ivy Day Ever.
Okay.
So, Uh Hey, Nicole, What's With All The Bald Cupcakes? Well, We Had An Assembly Line, But There Just Wasn't Time, And And Now We We Gotta Make Things To Order.
(Sighs) I've Totally Failed Deena.
Hey, Hey.
Hey, Hey, Hey.
There Is No Crying In Baking.
The Nicole I Know Wouldn't Give Up Like That.
Now Where's The Fighter, Huh? The Savvy Businesswoman? Whers The Animal I Know And Love? Is That A Reference To Ouright In The Bedroom? Yes, It Is.
You're Right.
What Am I Thinking? I Mean, I Ran A Major Record Label.
I Stayed Up For A Week Straight With The Rolling Stones.
I Have The Stamina Of A Lion.
I I Mean, These Are Cupcakes We're Talking About, For God Sakes.
I Can Do This.
Yeah.
You You Wanna Help? I'll Helonly If You Go To The Laker Game With Me Afterwards.
Done.
It's A Date.
Oh, My God.
That Was So Worth The Wait.
Mm.
I Think They Agree.
Know What The Best Part Is? We Get To Do It Over And Over Again, For The Rest Of Our Lives.
You're So Beautiful.
And You.
You Look Fanstic.
I N't Have Love Handles Or Anything? No.
Gosh, No.
I Think You Are Leaner Than Before.
Yeah? Harder.
You Know What? Who Cares If We Missed The Vows? Who Cares If We Missed The Hotel? Exactly! Who Cares?! Right? Who The Hell Cares?! Why Don't You All Just Come On Out? I Love You, Deena Greco! I Love You, Dave Greco! I Love You, Dave And Deena Greco! Yes! Seriously, Where The Hell Are We? I Think We Are Exactly Where We Need To Be.
Oh.
I Bet You The Car's Cooled Down.
We Could Try To Get Ck To The Main Road And Make The Wedding.
God, I Love You.
Can I Come In? I Wanted To Apologize.
I Know I Didn't Handle Things Very Well Back There.
No, You Didn't.
I Let Stephanie Take Theirls Because I Thoughit Would Make Her Happy, But All I Could Think About Was You Sitting Here, Being Sad Because Of Me.
I'm Not Sad.
You Sure? You Know, 'cause You Looked Pretty Sad Before You Left.
Either That, Or You Wanted To Kill Me.
I Don't Wanna Kill You.
I Just I Really Like Spending Time With Those Girls.
They're So Sweet Innocent, And I Was Like That.
You Know? A Little Girl, All Happy And Free With No Idea How It Feels To Want Something You Can Never Have.
You're Amazing.
You Can Have Anything You Want.
Doesn't Seem To Happen.
I Don't Know.
Maybe It's Me.
Maybe I'm Too Shy Or Too Quiet.
What Are You Talking About? Wait, What Are You Talking About? What Is It That You Want? Tell Me.
You Really Have No Idea? Oh, God.
I'm Sorry.
You Should Get That.
I Don't Want To.
You Have To.
You're Responsible For Your Friends' Kids.
Hi, Stephanie.
Calm Down.
Calm Down.
What? What? Stephanie Lost The Girls! Stephanie! I'm So Sorry, Brian.
I-I Only Left Them For Five Minutes.
Should We Call The Police? How Long Have They Been Missing? About 40 Minutes, Sir.
40 Minutes?! We Have Extra Guards Posted Around All The Fences.
We're Checking Cars And I.
D.
S As They Leave The Lot.
No One Is Getting On Unless They're An Employee Of The Company.
That Was A Great Audition! Are There Any Other Physical Details You Can Tell Me About The Girls? Mrs.
Conner Couldn't Exactly Remember What They Were Wearing.
Yeah.
Uh, Geneva The Older One She Was Wearing A Gray Hoodie Sweatshirt, A Pink Tie-Dyed Shirt, Uh Pink Skirt With Those Ugg Boots.
And Larissa The Younger One She Was Wearing A Jean Skirt With A Pink Sweatshirt With Butterflies On It.
Butterflies? Yeah, Yeah, Butterflies.
Oh, Thank God.
Girls, Where Did You Go? This Lady Came Out And Gave Us Some Lines To Read.
And We Got Juice Boxes.
I'm So Glad That You're Safe.
How Did You I Saw Some Kids Coming Out Of An Audition.
What's A Callback? Because I Have One Tomorrow At 5:00.
I Shoulde Never Brought Them Here.
How Am I Ever Gonna Be A Good Mother If I Can't Even Take Care Of These Guys For Three Hours? Who Loses Two Kids? Hey, Steph.
Steph, Come On.
What Kind Of Person Does That? Come On.
Come On.
Even Parents Sometimes Make Mistakes.
You Know, Kids C Get Away From You.
I Just Look, If You Had An Audition, I Just Wish You'd Call Me.
I Know.
I Know.
It's It's Over Now.
All Right? They're Safe.
Hey, What Do You Say We Go Out And Get Some Pizza Or Something? How's That Sound? Yeah! Yeah! I Want Pizza! Yeah, I Want Pizza, Too.
What Do You Guys Want? Uh, Pepperoni.
Cheese.
Pepperoni? Laura, Where You Going? You Go With Your Girlfriend.
I Don't Wanna Be This Person, Brian.
I Don't Wanna Play Games.
Stephanie's My Friend, And I Want You To I Want You To Go With Her Please.
Hey, What Are You Guys Doing? Uh, This Is Where We Got Married 15 Ars Ago.
Cool.
Mona? Dave! Wow.
Deena! Oh, It's Great To See You.
Oh, Look At You! Oh, Look At You! Oh, You Look Different.
Well, You Know, I Well, I'm Not Really A Druid Anymore.
My Husband Works In Silicon Valley, And He Wanted Us To Raise Our Kids Episcopalian.
Jason! This Is My Son Jason.
Hey, Jason.
Hi.
So You Two Wanna Renew Your Vows? Uh-Huh.
Yes, We We Want To.
Oh.
Oh, That Is So Great.
I Mean, Most Couples These Days Just Seem To Wanna Break Up.
Yeah, Well, We Did, For A Little While, And Then We Realized It Was A Mistake, And So That's Why We're Back Here.
Yeah, Yeah.
That's Great.
Well, See, That Was Then, And This Is Now, So, Uh Here Is To, Uh, New Beginnings.
Now Do You Have The Candles, Honey? All Right.
Oh, I Don't, Uh Do You Hey, Do You Have A Light, By Any Chance? Gotta Light The Candles.
Yeah.
Here You Go.
Oh, You Know What? In This Wind Look, We'll Just Pretend They're Lit.
Yeah.
It's Fine.
You Ready? Yeah.
Yeah.
737 Mother Earth We Are Here Today To Ask Your Blessings For Dave And Deena, Two Of Your Children Who, In The Hubbub Of Life, Have Lost Their Most Valued Possession Each Other.
15ears Ago, We Stood At This Same Sacred Spot, And They Were Surrounded By Their Family And Most Beloved Friends.
Today They Come To You Anew.
You Know What, Mona? Can We I'm Sorry.
Can We Just Get A Second? Oh, Uh, Sure.
Sure, Yeah.
Does This Feel Right To You? No.
No.
Okay.
Not At All.
I Mean, The Quest Thing To Get Back To Who We Were Is Great Yeah.
But It's Just Not But This Is Not Who We Are Anymore.
Wewe're Dave And Deena Yeah.
But We're Also Geneva And Larissa And Carrie And Nic And Adam And Brian.
I Just You're Totally Right.
I Don't Wanna Do It Without Them.
Neither Do I.
God, I Love You.
Okay.
Let's Go.
Well, That Was Fun.
One Of The Best Dates I've Had In A Long Time.
Is Anyone Home? Uh, Doesn't Look Like It.
Hello? Hello? Anyone Home? Oh.
Hey.
I, Uh, Actually Just, Um, Forgot My Power Cord On My Laptop.
Um So, Uh, How Was The Game? You Found A Date.
Yeah, Yeah.
We Had A Great Time, Too, Didn't We? Yeah.
Carrie Was A Little Bored.
Well, I'm Gonna Go Put Her Down Now.
All Right.
Um I'm I'm Gonna Go.
I Know Wt's Going On Between You And Adam.
So Don't Hurt Him, Okay? Excuse Me? He's My Friend.
M Just Saying Be Careful.
Friend.
Are You Sure That's All? 'cause I Actually Know About You Two About What Happened.
So? So Maybe Youant To Be More Than Friends? Adam And I Are Not Gonna Get Together.
I'm Not Right For Him.
But I Don't Think You Are, Either.
Who Wants Pizza? Me! Me! I Do! I Do! Yeah? Hey, You're Still Here.
I, Uh, Just Forgot My Power Cord.
Jimmy And Ivy Are On Their Way Over.
I Promised Them We'd All Hang Out And Have A Lot To Drink.
You Wanna Stay? Pizza, Beer And Cupcakes? Yeah, You Should Stay.
Um, Yeah.
Sure.
All Right, Great.
Well, I'll, Uh, I'll Go Get The Drinks.
All Right, Who Wants The One That's Really Puffy? Hey.
Hey.
So, Um I Was I Was Thinking.
Um, This Arrangement Maybe, Uh, Maybe We Should Amend The Rules A Bit.
Hmm.
I'm Listening.
Um, Well, From Here On Out, Um, We Have Sex With Just Each Other.
We're Still Not Dating Or Or In A Relationship, But It's Exclusive.
Hmm.
Well, I'll Agree To Your, Uh, Amendment On One Condition That, Uh, You Admit That You Were Jealous.
Okay.
I'll Admit That I Was Jealous A Little.
Does That Make You Happy? Ecstatic.
Come On, Hot Stuff.
Let's Go.
I Never Wanna See Frosting Again.
Frosting Is Disgusting.
I Never Wanna Go O Another Audition Again.
Me, Neither.
Yeah, I Never Wanna Work On A Saturday Again.
Yeah, Well, Let's Just Be Glad That The Day Is Over.
Mm.
For Real.
Wow.
Mommy! Daddy! What? Whoa! Wait, What Are You Guys Doing Here? What Areyou Guys Doing Here? Is Your Grandma Okay? She She Feel Better? Oh, No, No.
Grandma's Fine.
What? I Thought You Two Weren't Going Away Together.
What's Going On? It's Actually Kind Of Perfect That You Guys Are Here.
Um, We Got A Little Bit Of News.
Uh, Mona? Mm-Hmm.
Hi.
Everybody, This Is Mona.
You Look Familiar, Mona.
Mona, Uh Mona Mona Married Us 15 Years Ago.
Yep.
And She's Here Today So That We Can Renew Our Vows.
We're Gonna Get Married Again.
This Is Incredible! Yeah! Listen, We We Were Just Hoping That, You Know, You Guys Would Wanna Be Our, Uh, Our Witnesses.
Absolutely.
Luat's Wonderful.
Come Here.
Aw! I Love Ivy Day.
I Love Ivy Day, Too.
Come Here.
We Are Here Tonight To Celebrate The Union And Reunion Of Dave And Deena.
It Hasn't Always Been Easy, But Then, Nothing Worth Having Ever Is.
True Love Is Like A Twisted Old Vine.
Over Time, The Two Strands Become So Intertwined, It's Impossible To Tell Where One Starts And The Other One Ends.
And From This Vine Comes Life New Flowers, New Beginnings And, Yes, New Challees.
But With The Proper Care, This Vine Continues Growing And Turning And Climbing, Always Strengthened By The Fact That This Love Is Stronger Because The Two Strands Are Now One Strong Vine.
So I Ask You Here Tonight, Dave And Deena, In Front Of Those Friends That You Love Best Are You Ready To Commit Yourself Once Again To Love Passionately And Completely For The Rest Of Your Days? I Do.
I Do.
Can I Get An "Amen"? Amen! It's About Time! Come On! I'm Debi.