Full House s02e20 Episode Script
I'm There for You, Babe
Can I help you? Stephie play horsy.
Stephie's very busy.
Stephie doesn't wanna play horsy.
Yes she does.
No she doesn't.
Yes she does.
No she doesn't.
Yes she does.
Okay, let's play horsy.
Yay! How could I fall for the old crying routine? I invented it.
Michelle.
Make a wish.
Yay! Thank you.
Look at this, a guitar-shaped waffle.
Guys you didn't have to do this.
My birthday's no big deal.
There are presents, aren't there? - That's from me.
- And me.
And me.
Stephanie and I signed it and Michelle stepped paint and walked on it.
We made it because we love you so much.
Well, this is the best present a guy could ever get.
Thank you, girls.
- You're welcome.
- You're welcome.
- Okay, happy birthday, Jesse.
- Look out.
What did I get? An appointment book.
Outrageous.
Well, now you can be as organized as me.
You see, I even started filling out your "things to do" today.
Thing number one, pretend you like this gift.
It's the best appointment book I've received.
- Well, here you go partner.
- Hey, give me that.
What did I get? An Elvis watch.
Right hand points to the hours, left hand points to the minutes.
And his hips tick off the seconds.
Sing it.
Tick, baby, tock, baby.
Tick, baby, tock, baby.
Time to buy a Cadillac.
So, old timer, how's it feel to be 26? It feels great, folks.
This is my year, man.
Got a great family, finally got a perfect girlfriend.
Our advertising stuff's going well.
I think this is the year my band's gonna make it.
You're coming to see the band? - Yeah.
- We wouldn't miss it.
- All right.
- Let's get dressed for school.
We have to go to school on Uncle Jesse's birthday? Don't worry.
I'm sure there will be some kind of assembly in his honor.
Uncle Jesse, don't forget our soccer game at 3:30.
Deej, I'm the coach.
I'm there for you, babe.
Without me, you got no strategy.
No motivation.
No ride.
Get out.
- My birthday.
- Hey! Get back here, you little gift grabber.
Give me that loot.
- Happy birthday.
- Thanks.
Here, keep the appointment book.
No, thank you.
Hey, Jess, listen to this.
I think I finally came up with the lyrics to this dentist jingle.
If you need a root canal You don't have any money, pal Relax, don't sweat it Dr.
Lennox gives you credit Dr.
Lennox, America's top credit dentist.
And now climbing the charts, the music to this wonderful jingle.
That sounds like a dentist's drill.
Sorry, I was working on something for the gig tonight.
Don't worry.
I'm there for you, babe.
Okay, guys, I got some news.
Jesse, you get out your new appointment book.
Write down 7:30 tonight.
Sam Battersby, Smash Club.
Sam Battersby, the music critic from The San Francisco Mirror? - That Sam Battersby? - You bet.
He was in the studio doing a segment on the club scene.
And I talked him into coming to hear your band.
I've tried to get him forever.
How did you do it? Well, I just used my wit, my charm and my two Giants tickets.
Danny, you're the greatest brother-in-law.
Jesse, you're hugging me.
I've been living in this house too long.
Next thing you know, you'll be filling up that appointment book.
- What's the matter, Michelle? - Where's Jack? Jack's in the box.
Jack, come out.
Please.
Let me see that.
All right, Jack.
Michelle and I are outside and we got you surrounded.
You come out now or we're coming in after you, sweetheart.
Jess, come on, it's already 3:20.
and coach D.
J.
's soccer game.
- I'm sorry.
We'll finish when I get back.
- Jess.
I'm sorry, Joey.
I realize it looks like I'm running out on you, but Joseph I would never do that to you.
And I'll tell you why when I get back.
You'll never get the ball past me.
- Look, Kimmy! Jeans on sale.
- Where? Yes, Tanner scores a goal! Don't ever make jokes about a sale.
That's so cruel.
All right.
Come on girls.
Go, go, go! We got a tough game today.
Let's go! Come on, come on! Uncle Jesse, Uncle Jesse! Stephanie, Stephanie! Tomorrow's my school bake sale.
Will you bake 100 of your special cookies? Please, pretty please? With chocolate chips on top? With chocolate chips on top? How could I turn it down? You really can't.
Let's go.
He'll bake your cookies later, you little chicken wing.
Oh, yeah? Well, If I'm a chicken wing then you're a can of chicken noodle soup.
You have the brain of a paramecium.
Maybe I have the brain of a paramecium, you only have the brain of one mecium.
There's no way to beat her, is there? No, not really.
Let's go, girls! Come on, look alive now.
Mr.
Bear, while Uncle Jesse's baking cookies for the bake sale you better let me lick the bowl.
You've put on a couple of pounds.
Yeah! We creamed those nerd bombers.
And now: on your mark, get set, bake cookies.
All right! I'm there for you, babe.
- Hi, everybody.
- Hi.
- Happy 26th.
- Thank you.
Twenty six? Wow! That's more than halfway to 50.
It's all downhill from here.
Have I ever told you how much I appreciate having you around? - No.
- Good.
So I'll give you your birthday present later.
But first here's a little preview.
If you're going to the Smash Club to watch my band you best get dressed.
Go-- Oh, thanks for inviting me.
Hold it! Gibbler.
Too late.
She's already home trying on new outfits.
I'll go get changed.
You just bake, baby, bake.
When should I pick you up for the wedding? - What wedding? - Don't tell me you forgot.
Oh, why would I forget your cousin's wedding? Niece's? Old roommate's? Hair dresser? It's my Uncle's first wife's son-in-law.
That was my next guess.
Don't worry, I'm there for you, babe.
Jess, you gotta write the music to this dentist jingle.
I really need your help.
My car is starting to sound like my Uncle Fred.
It is! It's going: I mean, my car needs a mechanic and my Uncle Fred needs a vaporizer.
Don't worry.
I'll get to your car.
We'll do the jingle.
I'm gonna cook Stephanie's cookies tomorrow.
But right now, Elvis's hands are telling me it's 5 to 6 and I gotta be down at the Smash Club at 6:15.
See you boys and girls later.
Oh, hi.
I'm Danny Tanner.
I talked to you about bringing my daughters to see their uncle play on his birthday.
- Thanks.
- Hey, not so fast.
Aren't you forgetting something? Oh, right.
Here's your two Giants tickets.
I may never see a game.
- This place is so rad.
- Yeah! Look at all these cute guys.
At least no one's wearing my outfit.
Hey, Jess, we're over here.
Oh, Jesse, good look.
Bon Jovi have a garage sale? Danny, not a good time for jokes.
Jesse's band didn't show up.
I'm such an idiot.
I double booked us.
The band's playing a Holiday Inn in Sacramento.
I could have sworn I cancelled that.
I'm confused.
So many things going on with the kids and work.
- I can't keep track of everything.
- Tough break.
Anybody wanna see a movie? Hey, Katsopolis.
- Yes, sir.
- Time's up.
I don't care where your band is.
Start playing.
By myself? Come here.
You see that guy? That's Sam Battersby.
His reviews could make you or break you.
Me, I could just break you.
- Showtime! - Right.
So where am I gonna find a band? We're there for you, babe.
Remember, it's one of the easiest songs ever written.
Okay, it's two chords.
E, A, E, A.
- We can do it.
You ready? - And break! Now it's come down to this.
Jesse and The Partridge Family.
Ladies and Gentlemen, the Smash Club is proud to.
No.
The Smash Club is contractually obligated - to present Jesse and? - These other guys.
Jesse and these other guys.
- All right, how you doing San Francisco?! - All right! Yeah! - You guys ready to Rock and Roll? - Yeah! I hope we are.
Rock and Roll! Drum solo, D.
J.
! Go, Dad, go! Take it, Joey! - Come on.
- This stinks.
Thank you, you beautiful audience.
One more time! B-I-N-G-O.
Go, Bingo.
Uncle Jesse, wake up.
N-G-O! Oh, Steph, thanks for waking me up.
I was having a horrible nightmare.
There's an article in the paper about our band.
- Oh, no, it wasn't a nightmare.
- Listen to this.
"If you missed Jesse and these other guys last night you're luckier than I am.
" Wait, there's more.
"They were so bad, a room full of tone deaf metalheads were forced to flee the building.
" Let me see that.
Gotta be something good in here.
Tone deaf.
Right here, see? The bright spot of the evening.
"The bright spot of the evening was the inspired keyboard playing of the adorable Kimmy Gibbler.
" Adorable? Are you sure it doesn't say "a doorbell"? That's it.
My career is over.
At least you have plenty of time to make my cookies for the bake sale.
- It's today.
- I'm there for you, babe.
No Jack.
Oh, Michelle, I'm sorry.
I know I promised to fix it.
Fix it now.
- Uncle Jesse! - I'm coming, D.
J.
I'll be right back, Michelle.
Nuts.
You aren't dressed? Our game's in an hour.
He can't be your coach, he's baking my cookies.
Forget the cookies.
Just grab a bunch of Oreos and scrape the name off.
All right, girls, don't worry.
Everything is under control, okay? - I'll bake the cookies, play soccer-- - Okay, partner, dental music time.
- How you coming with that jingle? - Let me get my keyboard.
- Hey! - Hey! - What about my soccer? - What about my cookies? What about Jack? - Sorry, let me see that.
- Hey, Jesse I ruined my shirt, but I found my problem with my car.
Any idea why this carburetor won't work? Yeah, it's in your hand and not under your hood.
Jess, you promised you'd help me with my car.
- And my jingle.
- And my cookies.
- And my soccer.
- And Jack.
No problem.
We got everything under control.
We'll just simply tow the car down to the soccer field and while I'm fixing the carburetor, I'll angle the side view mirror so I can see the field and coach the game and during timeouts, I'll rush into the cafeteria and bake your cookies.
And I'll swing by metal shop, cut Jack out of the box.
And, don't worry about the jingle, because I'm gonna be whistling while I work.
This is your Uncle J.
I can handle this.
It may take split second timing but I can make this happen.
You can't wear a bathrobe to the wedding.
The wedding.
How can I go to the wedding? I got soccer balls to bake I gotta tune up the dentist jingle.
Make the carburetor pop out of the box.
What's wrong with you?! Just because I'm 26 doesn't mean I can do 26 things at once! Because I can't! I can't! Did you read our review? Don't worry, be happy.
Your breakfast is served.
- Hey, Jesse.
- Jess.
- Hi, Uncle Jesse.
- Hi, Uncle Jesse.
- What are you doing? - This is day one of your well-deserved one day vacation.
Your reading material.
I recommend Curious George.
It's the best monkey book ever written.
And for your viewing pleasure, complete works of The Three Stooges.
Yes, watch them mature from the silly: To the sophisticatedcertainly.
This is real nice, you guys, but I don't really deserve this.
I mean, you guys were counting on me and I let you down.
Jesse, give yourself a break.
It's great that you wanna do everything but you can't do everything at once.
Well, what about all the stuff I promised to do for you guys? It's all taken care of.
I got us some extra time to finish our jingle.
And my cousin Sharon will keep me company at the wedding.
- Joey's coaching soccer.
- And Daddy's baking my cookies.
And Mr.
Goodwrench is fixing my car.
You see, I don't wanna miss any of this stuff.
I mean, you guys count on me and I love being there for you.
I feel like I'm needed, you know? This is my family and I'm supposed to be the world's greatest uncle.
You are.
But you still have to learn to balance your priorities.
I mean, it's great that you wanna bake cookies for Stephanie but not if it means it's gonna cost your job.
Unless you wanna be a baker.
Thank you, Stephanie.
- You're welcome.
- He was being sarcastic.
So was I.
Jess, it's okay to ask for help once in a while.
We're not shy about asking you.
And besides, we're all a team here.
Thank you.
I love being part of this team.
Okay, everybody.
Dog pile on Uncle Jesse! Oh, man.
We don't do this nearly enough.
Okay, Uncle Jesse's on vacation and we got stuff to do.
- Let's go.
- Okay, cookies-- Thanks very much.
And as soon as the wedding's over, I'm coming right back here and see if I can't get you totally relaxed.
Let me just say, have mercy.
I like the way you say that.
- Bye.
- Bye.
Wake up Jack.
Hey, I'm sorry, babe, but your Uncle J.
is on vacation.
I love you.
And I love you too.
Thank you.
Come here.
Let's see if we can get that old box working.
- All right, are you ready? - Yes.
Here we go.
See? I told you I'm there for you, babe.
For you, babe.
No, for you, babe.
For you, babe.
For you, babe.
No, for you, babe.
Stephie's very busy.
Stephie doesn't wanna play horsy.
Yes she does.
No she doesn't.
Yes she does.
No she doesn't.
Yes she does.
Okay, let's play horsy.
Yay! How could I fall for the old crying routine? I invented it.
Michelle.
Make a wish.
Yay! Thank you.
Look at this, a guitar-shaped waffle.
Guys you didn't have to do this.
My birthday's no big deal.
There are presents, aren't there? - That's from me.
- And me.
And me.
Stephanie and I signed it and Michelle stepped paint and walked on it.
We made it because we love you so much.
Well, this is the best present a guy could ever get.
Thank you, girls.
- You're welcome.
- You're welcome.
- Okay, happy birthday, Jesse.
- Look out.
What did I get? An appointment book.
Outrageous.
Well, now you can be as organized as me.
You see, I even started filling out your "things to do" today.
Thing number one, pretend you like this gift.
It's the best appointment book I've received.
- Well, here you go partner.
- Hey, give me that.
What did I get? An Elvis watch.
Right hand points to the hours, left hand points to the minutes.
And his hips tick off the seconds.
Sing it.
Tick, baby, tock, baby.
Tick, baby, tock, baby.
Time to buy a Cadillac.
So, old timer, how's it feel to be 26? It feels great, folks.
This is my year, man.
Got a great family, finally got a perfect girlfriend.
Our advertising stuff's going well.
I think this is the year my band's gonna make it.
You're coming to see the band? - Yeah.
- We wouldn't miss it.
- All right.
- Let's get dressed for school.
We have to go to school on Uncle Jesse's birthday? Don't worry.
I'm sure there will be some kind of assembly in his honor.
Uncle Jesse, don't forget our soccer game at 3:30.
Deej, I'm the coach.
I'm there for you, babe.
Without me, you got no strategy.
No motivation.
No ride.
Get out.
- My birthday.
- Hey! Get back here, you little gift grabber.
Give me that loot.
- Happy birthday.
- Thanks.
Here, keep the appointment book.
No, thank you.
Hey, Jess, listen to this.
I think I finally came up with the lyrics to this dentist jingle.
If you need a root canal You don't have any money, pal Relax, don't sweat it Dr.
Lennox gives you credit Dr.
Lennox, America's top credit dentist.
And now climbing the charts, the music to this wonderful jingle.
That sounds like a dentist's drill.
Sorry, I was working on something for the gig tonight.
Don't worry.
I'm there for you, babe.
Okay, guys, I got some news.
Jesse, you get out your new appointment book.
Write down 7:30 tonight.
Sam Battersby, Smash Club.
Sam Battersby, the music critic from The San Francisco Mirror? - That Sam Battersby? - You bet.
He was in the studio doing a segment on the club scene.
And I talked him into coming to hear your band.
I've tried to get him forever.
How did you do it? Well, I just used my wit, my charm and my two Giants tickets.
Danny, you're the greatest brother-in-law.
Jesse, you're hugging me.
I've been living in this house too long.
Next thing you know, you'll be filling up that appointment book.
- What's the matter, Michelle? - Where's Jack? Jack's in the box.
Jack, come out.
Please.
Let me see that.
All right, Jack.
Michelle and I are outside and we got you surrounded.
You come out now or we're coming in after you, sweetheart.
Jess, come on, it's already 3:20.
and coach D.
J.
's soccer game.
- I'm sorry.
We'll finish when I get back.
- Jess.
I'm sorry, Joey.
I realize it looks like I'm running out on you, but Joseph I would never do that to you.
And I'll tell you why when I get back.
You'll never get the ball past me.
- Look, Kimmy! Jeans on sale.
- Where? Yes, Tanner scores a goal! Don't ever make jokes about a sale.
That's so cruel.
All right.
Come on girls.
Go, go, go! We got a tough game today.
Let's go! Come on, come on! Uncle Jesse, Uncle Jesse! Stephanie, Stephanie! Tomorrow's my school bake sale.
Will you bake 100 of your special cookies? Please, pretty please? With chocolate chips on top? With chocolate chips on top? How could I turn it down? You really can't.
Let's go.
He'll bake your cookies later, you little chicken wing.
Oh, yeah? Well, If I'm a chicken wing then you're a can of chicken noodle soup.
You have the brain of a paramecium.
Maybe I have the brain of a paramecium, you only have the brain of one mecium.
There's no way to beat her, is there? No, not really.
Let's go, girls! Come on, look alive now.
Mr.
Bear, while Uncle Jesse's baking cookies for the bake sale you better let me lick the bowl.
You've put on a couple of pounds.
Yeah! We creamed those nerd bombers.
And now: on your mark, get set, bake cookies.
All right! I'm there for you, babe.
- Hi, everybody.
- Hi.
- Happy 26th.
- Thank you.
Twenty six? Wow! That's more than halfway to 50.
It's all downhill from here.
Have I ever told you how much I appreciate having you around? - No.
- Good.
So I'll give you your birthday present later.
But first here's a little preview.
If you're going to the Smash Club to watch my band you best get dressed.
Go-- Oh, thanks for inviting me.
Hold it! Gibbler.
Too late.
She's already home trying on new outfits.
I'll go get changed.
You just bake, baby, bake.
When should I pick you up for the wedding? - What wedding? - Don't tell me you forgot.
Oh, why would I forget your cousin's wedding? Niece's? Old roommate's? Hair dresser? It's my Uncle's first wife's son-in-law.
That was my next guess.
Don't worry, I'm there for you, babe.
Jess, you gotta write the music to this dentist jingle.
I really need your help.
My car is starting to sound like my Uncle Fred.
It is! It's going: I mean, my car needs a mechanic and my Uncle Fred needs a vaporizer.
Don't worry.
I'll get to your car.
We'll do the jingle.
I'm gonna cook Stephanie's cookies tomorrow.
But right now, Elvis's hands are telling me it's 5 to 6 and I gotta be down at the Smash Club at 6:15.
See you boys and girls later.
Oh, hi.
I'm Danny Tanner.
I talked to you about bringing my daughters to see their uncle play on his birthday.
- Thanks.
- Hey, not so fast.
Aren't you forgetting something? Oh, right.
Here's your two Giants tickets.
I may never see a game.
- This place is so rad.
- Yeah! Look at all these cute guys.
At least no one's wearing my outfit.
Hey, Jess, we're over here.
Oh, Jesse, good look.
Bon Jovi have a garage sale? Danny, not a good time for jokes.
Jesse's band didn't show up.
I'm such an idiot.
I double booked us.
The band's playing a Holiday Inn in Sacramento.
I could have sworn I cancelled that.
I'm confused.
So many things going on with the kids and work.
- I can't keep track of everything.
- Tough break.
Anybody wanna see a movie? Hey, Katsopolis.
- Yes, sir.
- Time's up.
I don't care where your band is.
Start playing.
By myself? Come here.
You see that guy? That's Sam Battersby.
His reviews could make you or break you.
Me, I could just break you.
- Showtime! - Right.
So where am I gonna find a band? We're there for you, babe.
Remember, it's one of the easiest songs ever written.
Okay, it's two chords.
E, A, E, A.
- We can do it.
You ready? - And break! Now it's come down to this.
Jesse and The Partridge Family.
Ladies and Gentlemen, the Smash Club is proud to.
No.
The Smash Club is contractually obligated - to present Jesse and? - These other guys.
Jesse and these other guys.
- All right, how you doing San Francisco?! - All right! Yeah! - You guys ready to Rock and Roll? - Yeah! I hope we are.
Rock and Roll! Drum solo, D.
J.
! Go, Dad, go! Take it, Joey! - Come on.
- This stinks.
Thank you, you beautiful audience.
One more time! B-I-N-G-O.
Go, Bingo.
Uncle Jesse, wake up.
N-G-O! Oh, Steph, thanks for waking me up.
I was having a horrible nightmare.
There's an article in the paper about our band.
- Oh, no, it wasn't a nightmare.
- Listen to this.
"If you missed Jesse and these other guys last night you're luckier than I am.
" Wait, there's more.
"They were so bad, a room full of tone deaf metalheads were forced to flee the building.
" Let me see that.
Gotta be something good in here.
Tone deaf.
Right here, see? The bright spot of the evening.
"The bright spot of the evening was the inspired keyboard playing of the adorable Kimmy Gibbler.
" Adorable? Are you sure it doesn't say "a doorbell"? That's it.
My career is over.
At least you have plenty of time to make my cookies for the bake sale.
- It's today.
- I'm there for you, babe.
No Jack.
Oh, Michelle, I'm sorry.
I know I promised to fix it.
Fix it now.
- Uncle Jesse! - I'm coming, D.
J.
I'll be right back, Michelle.
Nuts.
You aren't dressed? Our game's in an hour.
He can't be your coach, he's baking my cookies.
Forget the cookies.
Just grab a bunch of Oreos and scrape the name off.
All right, girls, don't worry.
Everything is under control, okay? - I'll bake the cookies, play soccer-- - Okay, partner, dental music time.
- How you coming with that jingle? - Let me get my keyboard.
- Hey! - Hey! - What about my soccer? - What about my cookies? What about Jack? - Sorry, let me see that.
- Hey, Jesse I ruined my shirt, but I found my problem with my car.
Any idea why this carburetor won't work? Yeah, it's in your hand and not under your hood.
Jess, you promised you'd help me with my car.
- And my jingle.
- And my cookies.
- And my soccer.
- And Jack.
No problem.
We got everything under control.
We'll just simply tow the car down to the soccer field and while I'm fixing the carburetor, I'll angle the side view mirror so I can see the field and coach the game and during timeouts, I'll rush into the cafeteria and bake your cookies.
And I'll swing by metal shop, cut Jack out of the box.
And, don't worry about the jingle, because I'm gonna be whistling while I work.
This is your Uncle J.
I can handle this.
It may take split second timing but I can make this happen.
You can't wear a bathrobe to the wedding.
The wedding.
How can I go to the wedding? I got soccer balls to bake I gotta tune up the dentist jingle.
Make the carburetor pop out of the box.
What's wrong with you?! Just because I'm 26 doesn't mean I can do 26 things at once! Because I can't! I can't! Did you read our review? Don't worry, be happy.
Your breakfast is served.
- Hey, Jesse.
- Jess.
- Hi, Uncle Jesse.
- Hi, Uncle Jesse.
- What are you doing? - This is day one of your well-deserved one day vacation.
Your reading material.
I recommend Curious George.
It's the best monkey book ever written.
And for your viewing pleasure, complete works of The Three Stooges.
Yes, watch them mature from the silly: To the sophisticatedcertainly.
This is real nice, you guys, but I don't really deserve this.
I mean, you guys were counting on me and I let you down.
Jesse, give yourself a break.
It's great that you wanna do everything but you can't do everything at once.
Well, what about all the stuff I promised to do for you guys? It's all taken care of.
I got us some extra time to finish our jingle.
And my cousin Sharon will keep me company at the wedding.
- Joey's coaching soccer.
- And Daddy's baking my cookies.
And Mr.
Goodwrench is fixing my car.
You see, I don't wanna miss any of this stuff.
I mean, you guys count on me and I love being there for you.
I feel like I'm needed, you know? This is my family and I'm supposed to be the world's greatest uncle.
You are.
But you still have to learn to balance your priorities.
I mean, it's great that you wanna bake cookies for Stephanie but not if it means it's gonna cost your job.
Unless you wanna be a baker.
Thank you, Stephanie.
- You're welcome.
- He was being sarcastic.
So was I.
Jess, it's okay to ask for help once in a while.
We're not shy about asking you.
And besides, we're all a team here.
Thank you.
I love being part of this team.
Okay, everybody.
Dog pile on Uncle Jesse! Oh, man.
We don't do this nearly enough.
Okay, Uncle Jesse's on vacation and we got stuff to do.
- Let's go.
- Okay, cookies-- Thanks very much.
And as soon as the wedding's over, I'm coming right back here and see if I can't get you totally relaxed.
Let me just say, have mercy.
I like the way you say that.
- Bye.
- Bye.
Wake up Jack.
Hey, I'm sorry, babe, but your Uncle J.
is on vacation.
I love you.
And I love you too.
Thank you.
Come here.
Let's see if we can get that old box working.
- All right, are you ready? - Yes.
Here we go.
See? I told you I'm there for you, babe.
For you, babe.
No, for you, babe.
For you, babe.
For you, babe.
No, for you, babe.