Gintama (2005) s02e20 Episode Script
Please Help by Separating Your Trash
[Breakfast should be a raw egg on hot rice.
It tastes so good with a little soy sauce drizzled on top.
.]
[Today, "Tama-chan" appears.
She was given that name by Kagura, who loves eggs.
.]
Trash It is a single word, but there are many different types.
A woman with a cane came to throw away a single bag.
A smelly bag that oozed blood.
The trash collector thought it strange, but did not check its contents and threw it into his truck.
The woman stared at him with eerie vacant eyes watching as he threw away the bag.
More than anything, the woman's bizarre appearance made him nervous.
It was summer, yet she wore heavy clothing that did not show any of her skin.
Her hands that were just barely exposed were tightly wrapped in bandages.
The following day, the woman came again, carrying a smelly bag.
And the next, and the day after that, the woman came with a bag, dragging her body which grew weaker by the day; staring at the trash collector.
One day, the woman did not come.
but the usual smelly bag was on top of the trash pile.
The woman's stare was not here.
The trash collector peeked inside the bag.
The woman stared at himjust as she always had.
This isn't right.
Today is recyclable trash day.
You're combustible trash! I'm sorry [Let's sort our trash!.]
Let's sort our trash! If you don't, I might haunt you.
You call that a commercial? What bad taste! They have to resort to such threats because no one follows the trash schedule.
Oh Tomorrow is non-combustible trash day I put out the JUMP No harm.
I might haunt you.
Don't be ridiculous.
We're not kids here.
I can go and get it tomorrow.
Geez What do you want at this hour? Nothing, it's just the trash I'm worried about it.
Why do I have to go with you? Staying up late is terrible for my complexion.
Don't you realize that? Silly, you misunderstand.
It's not that I'm scared or anything.
Just so you know, I threw away your favorite magazine with the JUMP.
Seriously? My Lady's Eight, with the evil daughter-in-law special article? [Note: Spoof on the magazine "Jyosei Seven.
".]
Help me retrieve it.
No, something stinks.
Okay, you don't have to help me.
Just stay by me.
No, something stinks.
Cut it out! Stop being so selfish! I came to you because I was trying to help you! Forget it! I get it! I won't ask you! Suit yourself! Just stand quietly and watch! Don't go anywhere.
Just stay and watch me! I don't want to.
I'm sleepy, so I'm going home.
Kagura-chan! I'm sorry! All you have to do is sing the "Doraemon" song right here! What?! Sounds like a theme song I've heard somewhere before.
[Note: Spoof of theme song for the mystery show "Yo ni mo kimyo na monogatari" -Tales of the Unusual.
.]
That is you, isn't it, Kagura-chan? That is you, right?! Dammit!! I'm not giving in! Ran ran ra ra ran ran ran.
[Note: He's singing an off-beat version of the Nausicaa of the Valley of the Wind song.
.]
Hey! Keep it down! Do you know what time it is?! I'm sorry, mister! Mister, would you mind watching me? From there? What? What a creepy thing to ask! I'll call the police! Please, really! Don't even ask! Okay, got it! Hey, you're being rude, Kagura.
You're disturbing the neighborhood! Mister, watch me until I'm done.
Roger.
Target acquired.
Switching to analysis mode.
Blood pressure, heart rate both rising Target has lost consciousness.
["Please Help by Separating Your Trash".]
What the hell are you doing? Good morning.
[Note: Spoof of Cozy Tomita who is an impersonator for Tamori, who is the host of "Yo ni mo kimyo na monogatari" -Tales of the Unusual.
.]
Did you cut your hair? No, I haven't! What sort of mean prank is this while I'm asleep?! Geez! No wonder I have such terrible dreams.
Let's eat.
What kind of dreams? A dismembered head Never mind.
They say never to talk about the dreams you see while sleeping or awake.
I'd only be a laughingstock.
A dismembered head at the trash disposal area? How did you? You were having a nightmare.
You're too old to be having nightmares like a little kid.
Don't tell Shinpachi, okay? I'll give you 300 yen.
I don't remember what I did before I went to sleep.
What was I doing yesterday? You went to the trash disposal area to get your JUMP.
You didn't come back, so I went to check and found you asleep in the disposal area.
Kagura-chan Kagura-chan What is that? An egg cracker! I found it yesterday.
No, no, no, no, no.
Nooooo! That's no egg cracker! It's that dismembered head from yesterday! Y-You! I wasn't dreaming! Why did you take that thing, you dummy?! It's not a dismembered head.
It's an egg cracker.
What are you talking about, kid?! What do you mean, an egg cracker?! There's not such thing! Eggs are something you want to crack over someone's head.
But that would be rude.
So now I have this! No! Absolutely not! Hey! What's with this scene! It's not something you want to see in the evening! Go and put it back! Put it back where it was! No! That's my egg cracker! I'm not letting you have it! That's enough! If anyone around here sees that thing! Sadaharu, please don't do that.
That's not a toy.
Okay? Let me have it.
I'll give you beef jerky.
Sadaharu! That's my egg cracker! I told you, that's not an egg cracker! Give it up! I'll be your egg cracker from tomorrow on, so give it up! Was that a new pickup line? Forget it! Don't say I didn't tell you! Sh-Shinpachi! Don't touch it! You'll leave your prints on it! Don't leave any evidence behind! Get rid of it quickly! Isn't this Etsuko-chan? Etsuko-chan?! Someone you know named Etsuko-chan?! No.
This is Etsuko-chan, the robot maid that's popular these days.
Robot? You're wrong! It's an egg cracker! [Robot Shop.]
The dream mechanical doll that cooks, does the laundry and can even take care of office work.
Hey, this is awesome.
There's a mother-in-law version and even a Tsundere version.
[Note: Tsundere = a conceited, spiky, combative personality that suddenly becomes modest and loving.
.]
We've really come a long way From what I hear, it does what you say, works hard and is more useful than a human.
It's extremely popular with businesses and stores.
The price is not something an ordinary person can afford, though.
So, how do you know so much, Shinpachi? Huh? It's quite popular among otaku, as well.
Heythis boy's having naughty thoughts.
He wants it to do everything he asks.
What? Seriously gross.
Don't talk to me for a while.
Wh-What?! Do you know about dreams men have of maids?! So, how's it look, old man? It was quite beat up.
Of course it was.
Its head was, after all, dismembered.
But the important parts don't appear to be damaged.
I can probably fix it.
But, old man, you can't relax, either.
With something like this on the market, the day won't be long when Edo's number one mechanic is surpassed.
What're you talking about? Making such a wimpy robot He's still creating poor-quality work.
Okay, done! I had to make do with what I had, so it's a bit unbalanced.
Just a minute! With what you had?! The entire body was stolen from someplace else! It'll withstand even a year-long war.
[Note: Spoof of Gundam.
.]
Why would a maid battle for a year! Why does a maid need a shield?! She can hide behind the shield and see lots of thingslike a family's problems.
She doesn't need to see those things! Leave those to Etsuko Ichihara! [Spoof of "Kaseifu wa miteita" (Maid saw them all).
Etsuko Ichihara plays a maid who sees scandals in the house she works in.
.]
I thought she'd be good for some cash.
I can't sell her unless you give her Bang! Pow! Boom! A nice buxom, hourglass body.
What do you mean, sell her?! Etsuko-chan will be my own personal, gentle maid! Shut up, four-eyes! I'll send you to hell first! She definitely needs a maid's outfit! Attach an egg cracker! One that also takes out the slimy part! I don't get it.
That's not right! You wanna fight? Never mind, just make her into your idea of a nice woman.
Bring it on! Dirty specs! You just made her bum bigger.
You didn't fix the parts that were basically wrong! What is this thing you have for her bum?! Women with big bums are good-they have easier deliveries.
That's old! So ancient! Your criteria for choosing a woman are so old! What don't you like? I had a tough time with this part.
It pours soy sauce.
I don't care about your consideration for eggs on rice! Why do you people like egg on rice so much?! Though I like it, too! [Note: Japanese people often eat rice mixed with raw egg and a little soy sauce drizzled on top.
.]
You guys make a lot of demands.
If you want more done, you'll need to pay me more money.
Do you guys have the money? [Strawberry Fields.]
She's like an abandoned puppy.
Can't be helped.
We don't have the money.
We can't sell her like this.
I feel like a killer.
Not only can't we sell her, but without a body, we can't use her as a maid.
But according to Gengai-san, this robot was specially designed for office tasks.
Her previous owner may have been using her more like a computer rather than as a maid.
Where's the on switch? If it's her nipples, it's hopeless.
We won't be able to boot her up.
Your head is what's hopeless.
Hey, wake up! Ack! Could it be this mole on her head? She turned on?! Unfortunately, your adventures 1, 2 and 3 have disappeared.
[Note: Spoof of saved file for Dragon Quest game.
.]
Hey, this isn't good.
We hit her too hard-the adventures have disappeared.
What are the adventures? She went adventuring somewhere, no doubt.
Please rebuild the adventures from the beginning.
First: A name.
It's asking for a name.
It's a hassle, so just say, "Aaaa.
" That won't do.
You'll regret it later if you're lazy.
Where's the excitement if you say "Aaaa" when you're fighting the evil king.
What's an evil king? She intends to fight an evil king.
Okay, then "Tama.
" [Note: Tama is short for tamago (egg).
.]
Roger.
Tama?! How far are you going with this egg thing?! That sounds like a stray dog.
How do you do, everyone.
My name is Marie Antoinette.
She ignored Tama! She didn't like it! She didn't like it! Everyone calls me "Mole Beam.
" She was teased! She was totally teased about the mole on her forehead! Who's "everyone"? Warriors and martial artists.
They're physical, but very gloomy.
[Note: Party member types from Dragon Quest game.
.]
The memories make me blue.
Shall I save the adventure? She's trying to end the adventure on her own! Wait! This adventure is just beginning! Please write down the restart chant.
Mogagazuboroso, kusaremagurobaromi.
A password, in this day and age?! Notepad! Hurry and get a notepad! Putsun.
Ack! She turned herself off! What did she say her password was? Kusarimaguro something or other Why is there no save function when the adventure turns off? She's faking it.
She just doesn't want to do any work.
Hey! Wake up, dummy! Stop sleeping, you rotten tuna! You deserve to get shot 16 times, dummy! Hey! She spat oil on her master! Who do you think you are?! Please do not touch the controller and power button during a save.
It may cause damage.
You don't have a save function! I will repeat the restart chant.
Hey! It doesn't want to be restarted! She's using some strange ancient characters! Putsun.
Wait! Hey! Cut that out, you! She's totally busted.
You just need to blow into the cartridge.
The adventure never got far, so what we have to do is start from the beginning.
It'll be troublesome, but let's be patient.
Parararappappaa! Tama has gone up a level.
[Note: Level up sound from Dragon Quest game.
.]
I don't know what's going on, but she's gone up a level! Strength: up 3.
Speed: up 2.
Lassitude: up 5.
Lethargy: up 6.
Exhaustion: up 7.
I am feeling empty.
Just a minute! Our chances of losing are rising! Lethargy rising 2zuborokusaremagurobaromi She forced herself into the restart chant! I feel weak.
I don't want to move.
It's difficult to work.
Along the way, it's become nothing but gripes! Putsun.
This is hopeless.
Doesn't look like she'll make us any money at all.
Announcer Ketsuno, are you there at the scene? Ketsuno? Ana? Yes, this is KetsunoAna, at the scene.
I'm reporting from in front of the Hayashi Research Institute, where the incident occurred.
It's Announcer Ketsuno.
She's back.
Tsk, like a boomerang.
Huh? The murdered victim, Dr.
Ryuzan Hayashi, was known as an authority on automatons.
That's the lab that created Tama-san.
He was the developer of the robot maid, Etsuko-chan.
[Murdered: Dr.
Ryuzan Hayashi.]
That's Based on eyewitness reports, the Magistrate's Office is searching for Fuyo No.
i-Zero, an automaton that worked as the doctor's assistant, on suspicion of murder.
At the present time, Fuyo No.
i-Zero is a fugitive.
Eyewitnesses should contact the Magistrate's Office immediately.
I repeat Could this be? Tama-san?! There's no mistake! The robot that's suspected of murder is our Tama-san! Though she's only a head now.
And this Dr.
Hayashi-he's the man who built Tama-san and the other robot maids! She killed the parent who gave her lifeand showed up here? That can't be! This piece of junk could never do something as mysterious as being involved in a murder case! We're talking about a robot! There are others that have the same face.
She's only a head-how could she commit murder?! There is the possibility that I was destroyed by someone while on the run and became just a head.
Unfortunately, I have lost most of my memory of what happened before I became just a head.
However, I am the No.
i-Zero model.
She restarted without the restart chant.
Forgive me after earlier.
I had an initialization issue.
I am now restored.
You talked a lot of chop-logic, but in essence, what you're trying to say is, that you're the murderer? No.
I do not have any recollection, so I am simply stating my opinion based on the data.
I'm asking you: did you kill him, or did you not? If you don't know, then check your data further.
You can't find it because you assumed at the start that it wasn't there.
It might be closer than you think.
Understood.
Searching.
Tama has checked the data.
Of all things, I have found horse shit.
[Note: Spoof of Dragon Quest game.
.]
Hey, you want to be sold off to GEO? [Note: GEO is a Japanese rental video/game store that also buys used games.
.]
She's not fixed at all.
Initialization issues? She's got the mother of all issues! Forgive me.
Is there a mechanical engineer in the vicinity? Huh? I possess a backup memory area in case of an emergency, but it is tightly secured If it can be opened, my memory could be restored.
I'm not sure I understand For now, we can bring her back to old man Gengai, uh-huh.
But What if she gets her memory backand it turns out she's really the killer? Don't assume that.
We don't know that yet.
Excuse me.
We're from the Magistrate's Office.
Could we ask your help with an investigation? We received word from the neighbors that there is a suspicious robot here.
Gin-san! It's too soon! Too soon to assume! Don't give me that! At this rate, we'll be murder suspects, too! Let me go! Get rid of her now! This apparatus carries a curse.
You cannot discard it.
[Note: Parody of Dragon Quest game.
.]
Don't tell me I can't discard it! I never recalled getting you in the first place! To remove this apparatus, either go to your nearest church or withdraw 3 million yen from an ATM and deposit it to my account.
What kind of way is that to lift a curse?! Excuse me.
If we keep this up, they'll become suspicious of us! I'll deal with them, while you hide her! Please wait.
I do not detect life signs in two of the three visitors.
They are not officials.
They are not even human.
There's no one here.
Are they on to us? Hey! Who were those people?! The house is ruined! How many times is our foyer going to be destroyed?! Hey, what's the big idea? Let go of my arm already.
They came after you.
Are you going to get us involved, too? Hey, answer me.
I have no answer I am like a mere corpse [Note: The response given when speaking to a corpse in Dragon Quest game.
.]
Zaoriku.
[Note: Name of a powerful revival spell in Dragon Quest game.
.]
Ow, ow, ow! I'm restored.
I'm restored.
I'm telling you to let go.
You'd curse the hand that repaired you? I cannot do anything as just a head.
Please at least take me to a mechanic.
And, I think you'd best concentrate on making your escape.
But you won't reach a higher level if all you do is run.
Don't forget to arm yourself.
Simply holding me does not mean you're armed.
Let go! Apparatus! Gin-chan! There! What the hell is that? That maid What power! Found you! Mole Beam! Time to clean house! Whoa! I can see her panties! Your panties! Wh-Wha-What?! Monster! Fuyo No.
2-305.
The newest model robot maid developed by the Fuyo Project.
[Note: "Fuyo" written differently, but pronounced identically, can mean "unnecessary" or "useless.
".]
That's no maid! That's a weapon! A weapon! A.
K.
A.
Kurin-chan.
She's specially designed for cleaning.
She's fastidious to the point of paranoia and is a defective model returned by consumers for being troublesome.
You don't have your memory, so why is it you remember things about her? She currently works at the laboratory as part of the janitorial staff.
She is an idiot who has tried many times to remove the mole on my forehead because she mistakes it for rubbish.
She's Mole Beam's bully! She's the girl who teased Tama-san by calling her Mole Beam! What ever! Throwing out the trash is not the only job of the janitorial staff.
My, what a filthy truck.
In other words, they eliminate anything that gets in the way of the Fuyo Project, leaving not even a speck of dust behind.
They are steel-cold assassins.
What? You mean Tama-san, you're being targeted by your friendsfrom the laboratory? Why Are you and the Doctor in 'Pachi-san, now's not the time for that.
You do realize at this rate, we'll be sent to hell by those maids.
M-Maids What a spectacular sight.
A sight that'd make any fetishist cry tears of joy.
You don't have to be a fetishist to cry What'll we do? Hand over Mole Beam to us.
We will dispose of her.
Hand her over without a struggle! We will not harm you.
This does not concern you.
How can you say that when you've already gotten so many people involved! We don't believe you, dummies! If we hand her over, you'll attack us all at once! You're in danger.
Never mind me.
Do as they say.
Let go of me.
You let go! Mole Beam.
Where did you put it? We know you stole it from Dr.
Hayashi.
What're you talking about? Horse shit? You know that's not it! You can't play dumb.
You killed Dr.
Hayashi to obtain it.
The Fuyo Project will only achieve success when we have it.
It is meaningless for an old model like you to have it.
He will make it happen.
And then robots will become equal to gods.
What're you! Oh I want to become a robot.
Doctor, why do you say such a thing? Why are you suffering so? Why are you so sad? I don't understand.
I don'tunderstand.
[I'm only a robot-I don't understand.
.]
I'm only a robot-I don't understand.
You're A robot shedding tearshow is that possible?! You did have it, after all.
A robot could never shed those droplets.
It's proof without a doubt.
Hand it over! To us! Stop interfering! Gin-san! Shinpachi! Jump! Shinpachi! Take her to old man Gengai's place! Hurry! But! I'll join you later! Get going! [To be continued.]
[Next episode: "Too Many Cuties Can Make You Sick.
".]
[The maid robot army attacks! Can the Odd Jobs escape?!.]
[What is the "Fuyo Project"?! What is the reason for Tama-san's tears?!.]
It tastes so good with a little soy sauce drizzled on top.
.]
[Today, "Tama-chan" appears.
She was given that name by Kagura, who loves eggs.
.]
Trash It is a single word, but there are many different types.
A woman with a cane came to throw away a single bag.
A smelly bag that oozed blood.
The trash collector thought it strange, but did not check its contents and threw it into his truck.
The woman stared at him with eerie vacant eyes watching as he threw away the bag.
More than anything, the woman's bizarre appearance made him nervous.
It was summer, yet she wore heavy clothing that did not show any of her skin.
Her hands that were just barely exposed were tightly wrapped in bandages.
The following day, the woman came again, carrying a smelly bag.
And the next, and the day after that, the woman came with a bag, dragging her body which grew weaker by the day; staring at the trash collector.
One day, the woman did not come.
but the usual smelly bag was on top of the trash pile.
The woman's stare was not here.
The trash collector peeked inside the bag.
The woman stared at himjust as she always had.
This isn't right.
Today is recyclable trash day.
You're combustible trash! I'm sorry [Let's sort our trash!.]
Let's sort our trash! If you don't, I might haunt you.
You call that a commercial? What bad taste! They have to resort to such threats because no one follows the trash schedule.
Oh Tomorrow is non-combustible trash day I put out the JUMP No harm.
I might haunt you.
Don't be ridiculous.
We're not kids here.
I can go and get it tomorrow.
Geez What do you want at this hour? Nothing, it's just the trash I'm worried about it.
Why do I have to go with you? Staying up late is terrible for my complexion.
Don't you realize that? Silly, you misunderstand.
It's not that I'm scared or anything.
Just so you know, I threw away your favorite magazine with the JUMP.
Seriously? My Lady's Eight, with the evil daughter-in-law special article? [Note: Spoof on the magazine "Jyosei Seven.
".]
Help me retrieve it.
No, something stinks.
Okay, you don't have to help me.
Just stay by me.
No, something stinks.
Cut it out! Stop being so selfish! I came to you because I was trying to help you! Forget it! I get it! I won't ask you! Suit yourself! Just stand quietly and watch! Don't go anywhere.
Just stay and watch me! I don't want to.
I'm sleepy, so I'm going home.
Kagura-chan! I'm sorry! All you have to do is sing the "Doraemon" song right here! What?! Sounds like a theme song I've heard somewhere before.
[Note: Spoof of theme song for the mystery show "Yo ni mo kimyo na monogatari" -Tales of the Unusual.
.]
That is you, isn't it, Kagura-chan? That is you, right?! Dammit!! I'm not giving in! Ran ran ra ra ran ran ran.
[Note: He's singing an off-beat version of the Nausicaa of the Valley of the Wind song.
.]
Hey! Keep it down! Do you know what time it is?! I'm sorry, mister! Mister, would you mind watching me? From there? What? What a creepy thing to ask! I'll call the police! Please, really! Don't even ask! Okay, got it! Hey, you're being rude, Kagura.
You're disturbing the neighborhood! Mister, watch me until I'm done.
Roger.
Target acquired.
Switching to analysis mode.
Blood pressure, heart rate both rising Target has lost consciousness.
["Please Help by Separating Your Trash".]
What the hell are you doing? Good morning.
[Note: Spoof of Cozy Tomita who is an impersonator for Tamori, who is the host of "Yo ni mo kimyo na monogatari" -Tales of the Unusual.
.]
Did you cut your hair? No, I haven't! What sort of mean prank is this while I'm asleep?! Geez! No wonder I have such terrible dreams.
Let's eat.
What kind of dreams? A dismembered head Never mind.
They say never to talk about the dreams you see while sleeping or awake.
I'd only be a laughingstock.
A dismembered head at the trash disposal area? How did you? You were having a nightmare.
You're too old to be having nightmares like a little kid.
Don't tell Shinpachi, okay? I'll give you 300 yen.
I don't remember what I did before I went to sleep.
What was I doing yesterday? You went to the trash disposal area to get your JUMP.
You didn't come back, so I went to check and found you asleep in the disposal area.
Kagura-chan Kagura-chan What is that? An egg cracker! I found it yesterday.
No, no, no, no, no.
Nooooo! That's no egg cracker! It's that dismembered head from yesterday! Y-You! I wasn't dreaming! Why did you take that thing, you dummy?! It's not a dismembered head.
It's an egg cracker.
What are you talking about, kid?! What do you mean, an egg cracker?! There's not such thing! Eggs are something you want to crack over someone's head.
But that would be rude.
So now I have this! No! Absolutely not! Hey! What's with this scene! It's not something you want to see in the evening! Go and put it back! Put it back where it was! No! That's my egg cracker! I'm not letting you have it! That's enough! If anyone around here sees that thing! Sadaharu, please don't do that.
That's not a toy.
Okay? Let me have it.
I'll give you beef jerky.
Sadaharu! That's my egg cracker! I told you, that's not an egg cracker! Give it up! I'll be your egg cracker from tomorrow on, so give it up! Was that a new pickup line? Forget it! Don't say I didn't tell you! Sh-Shinpachi! Don't touch it! You'll leave your prints on it! Don't leave any evidence behind! Get rid of it quickly! Isn't this Etsuko-chan? Etsuko-chan?! Someone you know named Etsuko-chan?! No.
This is Etsuko-chan, the robot maid that's popular these days.
Robot? You're wrong! It's an egg cracker! [Robot Shop.]
The dream mechanical doll that cooks, does the laundry and can even take care of office work.
Hey, this is awesome.
There's a mother-in-law version and even a Tsundere version.
[Note: Tsundere = a conceited, spiky, combative personality that suddenly becomes modest and loving.
.]
We've really come a long way From what I hear, it does what you say, works hard and is more useful than a human.
It's extremely popular with businesses and stores.
The price is not something an ordinary person can afford, though.
So, how do you know so much, Shinpachi? Huh? It's quite popular among otaku, as well.
Heythis boy's having naughty thoughts.
He wants it to do everything he asks.
What? Seriously gross.
Don't talk to me for a while.
Wh-What?! Do you know about dreams men have of maids?! So, how's it look, old man? It was quite beat up.
Of course it was.
Its head was, after all, dismembered.
But the important parts don't appear to be damaged.
I can probably fix it.
But, old man, you can't relax, either.
With something like this on the market, the day won't be long when Edo's number one mechanic is surpassed.
What're you talking about? Making such a wimpy robot He's still creating poor-quality work.
Okay, done! I had to make do with what I had, so it's a bit unbalanced.
Just a minute! With what you had?! The entire body was stolen from someplace else! It'll withstand even a year-long war.
[Note: Spoof of Gundam.
.]
Why would a maid battle for a year! Why does a maid need a shield?! She can hide behind the shield and see lots of thingslike a family's problems.
She doesn't need to see those things! Leave those to Etsuko Ichihara! [Spoof of "Kaseifu wa miteita" (Maid saw them all).
Etsuko Ichihara plays a maid who sees scandals in the house she works in.
.]
I thought she'd be good for some cash.
I can't sell her unless you give her Bang! Pow! Boom! A nice buxom, hourglass body.
What do you mean, sell her?! Etsuko-chan will be my own personal, gentle maid! Shut up, four-eyes! I'll send you to hell first! She definitely needs a maid's outfit! Attach an egg cracker! One that also takes out the slimy part! I don't get it.
That's not right! You wanna fight? Never mind, just make her into your idea of a nice woman.
Bring it on! Dirty specs! You just made her bum bigger.
You didn't fix the parts that were basically wrong! What is this thing you have for her bum?! Women with big bums are good-they have easier deliveries.
That's old! So ancient! Your criteria for choosing a woman are so old! What don't you like? I had a tough time with this part.
It pours soy sauce.
I don't care about your consideration for eggs on rice! Why do you people like egg on rice so much?! Though I like it, too! [Note: Japanese people often eat rice mixed with raw egg and a little soy sauce drizzled on top.
.]
You guys make a lot of demands.
If you want more done, you'll need to pay me more money.
Do you guys have the money? [Strawberry Fields.]
She's like an abandoned puppy.
Can't be helped.
We don't have the money.
We can't sell her like this.
I feel like a killer.
Not only can't we sell her, but without a body, we can't use her as a maid.
But according to Gengai-san, this robot was specially designed for office tasks.
Her previous owner may have been using her more like a computer rather than as a maid.
Where's the on switch? If it's her nipples, it's hopeless.
We won't be able to boot her up.
Your head is what's hopeless.
Hey, wake up! Ack! Could it be this mole on her head? She turned on?! Unfortunately, your adventures 1, 2 and 3 have disappeared.
[Note: Spoof of saved file for Dragon Quest game.
.]
Hey, this isn't good.
We hit her too hard-the adventures have disappeared.
What are the adventures? She went adventuring somewhere, no doubt.
Please rebuild the adventures from the beginning.
First: A name.
It's asking for a name.
It's a hassle, so just say, "Aaaa.
" That won't do.
You'll regret it later if you're lazy.
Where's the excitement if you say "Aaaa" when you're fighting the evil king.
What's an evil king? She intends to fight an evil king.
Okay, then "Tama.
" [Note: Tama is short for tamago (egg).
.]
Roger.
Tama?! How far are you going with this egg thing?! That sounds like a stray dog.
How do you do, everyone.
My name is Marie Antoinette.
She ignored Tama! She didn't like it! She didn't like it! Everyone calls me "Mole Beam.
" She was teased! She was totally teased about the mole on her forehead! Who's "everyone"? Warriors and martial artists.
They're physical, but very gloomy.
[Note: Party member types from Dragon Quest game.
.]
The memories make me blue.
Shall I save the adventure? She's trying to end the adventure on her own! Wait! This adventure is just beginning! Please write down the restart chant.
Mogagazuboroso, kusaremagurobaromi.
A password, in this day and age?! Notepad! Hurry and get a notepad! Putsun.
Ack! She turned herself off! What did she say her password was? Kusarimaguro something or other Why is there no save function when the adventure turns off? She's faking it.
She just doesn't want to do any work.
Hey! Wake up, dummy! Stop sleeping, you rotten tuna! You deserve to get shot 16 times, dummy! Hey! She spat oil on her master! Who do you think you are?! Please do not touch the controller and power button during a save.
It may cause damage.
You don't have a save function! I will repeat the restart chant.
Hey! It doesn't want to be restarted! She's using some strange ancient characters! Putsun.
Wait! Hey! Cut that out, you! She's totally busted.
You just need to blow into the cartridge.
The adventure never got far, so what we have to do is start from the beginning.
It'll be troublesome, but let's be patient.
Parararappappaa! Tama has gone up a level.
[Note: Level up sound from Dragon Quest game.
.]
I don't know what's going on, but she's gone up a level! Strength: up 3.
Speed: up 2.
Lassitude: up 5.
Lethargy: up 6.
Exhaustion: up 7.
I am feeling empty.
Just a minute! Our chances of losing are rising! Lethargy rising 2zuborokusaremagurobaromi She forced herself into the restart chant! I feel weak.
I don't want to move.
It's difficult to work.
Along the way, it's become nothing but gripes! Putsun.
This is hopeless.
Doesn't look like she'll make us any money at all.
Announcer Ketsuno, are you there at the scene? Ketsuno? Ana? Yes, this is KetsunoAna, at the scene.
I'm reporting from in front of the Hayashi Research Institute, where the incident occurred.
It's Announcer Ketsuno.
She's back.
Tsk, like a boomerang.
Huh? The murdered victim, Dr.
Ryuzan Hayashi, was known as an authority on automatons.
That's the lab that created Tama-san.
He was the developer of the robot maid, Etsuko-chan.
[Murdered: Dr.
Ryuzan Hayashi.]
That's Based on eyewitness reports, the Magistrate's Office is searching for Fuyo No.
i-Zero, an automaton that worked as the doctor's assistant, on suspicion of murder.
At the present time, Fuyo No.
i-Zero is a fugitive.
Eyewitnesses should contact the Magistrate's Office immediately.
I repeat Could this be? Tama-san?! There's no mistake! The robot that's suspected of murder is our Tama-san! Though she's only a head now.
And this Dr.
Hayashi-he's the man who built Tama-san and the other robot maids! She killed the parent who gave her lifeand showed up here? That can't be! This piece of junk could never do something as mysterious as being involved in a murder case! We're talking about a robot! There are others that have the same face.
She's only a head-how could she commit murder?! There is the possibility that I was destroyed by someone while on the run and became just a head.
Unfortunately, I have lost most of my memory of what happened before I became just a head.
However, I am the No.
i-Zero model.
She restarted without the restart chant.
Forgive me after earlier.
I had an initialization issue.
I am now restored.
You talked a lot of chop-logic, but in essence, what you're trying to say is, that you're the murderer? No.
I do not have any recollection, so I am simply stating my opinion based on the data.
I'm asking you: did you kill him, or did you not? If you don't know, then check your data further.
You can't find it because you assumed at the start that it wasn't there.
It might be closer than you think.
Understood.
Searching.
Tama has checked the data.
Of all things, I have found horse shit.
[Note: Spoof of Dragon Quest game.
.]
Hey, you want to be sold off to GEO? [Note: GEO is a Japanese rental video/game store that also buys used games.
.]
She's not fixed at all.
Initialization issues? She's got the mother of all issues! Forgive me.
Is there a mechanical engineer in the vicinity? Huh? I possess a backup memory area in case of an emergency, but it is tightly secured If it can be opened, my memory could be restored.
I'm not sure I understand For now, we can bring her back to old man Gengai, uh-huh.
But What if she gets her memory backand it turns out she's really the killer? Don't assume that.
We don't know that yet.
Excuse me.
We're from the Magistrate's Office.
Could we ask your help with an investigation? We received word from the neighbors that there is a suspicious robot here.
Gin-san! It's too soon! Too soon to assume! Don't give me that! At this rate, we'll be murder suspects, too! Let me go! Get rid of her now! This apparatus carries a curse.
You cannot discard it.
[Note: Parody of Dragon Quest game.
.]
Don't tell me I can't discard it! I never recalled getting you in the first place! To remove this apparatus, either go to your nearest church or withdraw 3 million yen from an ATM and deposit it to my account.
What kind of way is that to lift a curse?! Excuse me.
If we keep this up, they'll become suspicious of us! I'll deal with them, while you hide her! Please wait.
I do not detect life signs in two of the three visitors.
They are not officials.
They are not even human.
There's no one here.
Are they on to us? Hey! Who were those people?! The house is ruined! How many times is our foyer going to be destroyed?! Hey, what's the big idea? Let go of my arm already.
They came after you.
Are you going to get us involved, too? Hey, answer me.
I have no answer I am like a mere corpse [Note: The response given when speaking to a corpse in Dragon Quest game.
.]
Zaoriku.
[Note: Name of a powerful revival spell in Dragon Quest game.
.]
Ow, ow, ow! I'm restored.
I'm restored.
I'm telling you to let go.
You'd curse the hand that repaired you? I cannot do anything as just a head.
Please at least take me to a mechanic.
And, I think you'd best concentrate on making your escape.
But you won't reach a higher level if all you do is run.
Don't forget to arm yourself.
Simply holding me does not mean you're armed.
Let go! Apparatus! Gin-chan! There! What the hell is that? That maid What power! Found you! Mole Beam! Time to clean house! Whoa! I can see her panties! Your panties! Wh-Wha-What?! Monster! Fuyo No.
2-305.
The newest model robot maid developed by the Fuyo Project.
[Note: "Fuyo" written differently, but pronounced identically, can mean "unnecessary" or "useless.
".]
That's no maid! That's a weapon! A weapon! A.
K.
A.
Kurin-chan.
She's specially designed for cleaning.
She's fastidious to the point of paranoia and is a defective model returned by consumers for being troublesome.
You don't have your memory, so why is it you remember things about her? She currently works at the laboratory as part of the janitorial staff.
She is an idiot who has tried many times to remove the mole on my forehead because she mistakes it for rubbish.
She's Mole Beam's bully! She's the girl who teased Tama-san by calling her Mole Beam! What ever! Throwing out the trash is not the only job of the janitorial staff.
My, what a filthy truck.
In other words, they eliminate anything that gets in the way of the Fuyo Project, leaving not even a speck of dust behind.
They are steel-cold assassins.
What? You mean Tama-san, you're being targeted by your friendsfrom the laboratory? Why Are you and the Doctor in 'Pachi-san, now's not the time for that.
You do realize at this rate, we'll be sent to hell by those maids.
M-Maids What a spectacular sight.
A sight that'd make any fetishist cry tears of joy.
You don't have to be a fetishist to cry What'll we do? Hand over Mole Beam to us.
We will dispose of her.
Hand her over without a struggle! We will not harm you.
This does not concern you.
How can you say that when you've already gotten so many people involved! We don't believe you, dummies! If we hand her over, you'll attack us all at once! You're in danger.
Never mind me.
Do as they say.
Let go of me.
You let go! Mole Beam.
Where did you put it? We know you stole it from Dr.
Hayashi.
What're you talking about? Horse shit? You know that's not it! You can't play dumb.
You killed Dr.
Hayashi to obtain it.
The Fuyo Project will only achieve success when we have it.
It is meaningless for an old model like you to have it.
He will make it happen.
And then robots will become equal to gods.
What're you! Oh I want to become a robot.
Doctor, why do you say such a thing? Why are you suffering so? Why are you so sad? I don't understand.
I don'tunderstand.
[I'm only a robot-I don't understand.
.]
I'm only a robot-I don't understand.
You're A robot shedding tearshow is that possible?! You did have it, after all.
A robot could never shed those droplets.
It's proof without a doubt.
Hand it over! To us! Stop interfering! Gin-san! Shinpachi! Jump! Shinpachi! Take her to old man Gengai's place! Hurry! But! I'll join you later! Get going! [To be continued.]
[Next episode: "Too Many Cuties Can Make You Sick.
".]
[The maid robot army attacks! Can the Odd Jobs escape?!.]
[What is the "Fuyo Project"?! What is the reason for Tama-san's tears?!.]