Grounded For Life (2001) s02e20 Episode Script
217 - I Fought the In-Laws
Claudia, that was delicious.
Oh, thanks, mom.
You've really turned into quite the little cook.
You should try her lasagna.
Why? There's nothing wrong with this.
I'm not saying there is.
Don't--don't listen to him.
This was very good.
Oh, thanks, dad.
You'll have to write the recipe down for me before we go.
That's right.
You guys are taking off tomorrow, aren't you? Oh, this week has just flown by.
Hasn't it? Sean, what are you doing? Loading up the dishwasher.
Don't you wanna rinse 'em first? Naw, no need to.
It's one of those new machines.
You don't have to rinse.
Just leave 'em on the counter.
Claudia and I can do 'em later.
You really don't have to do that.
It's not necessary.
We'll be happy to.
I'm not questioning that.
It's just, you know, it's a new machine.
It said that you don't have to rinse--right there, a big sign in the store.
Well, uh, that's what they say, but at home, we always prewash.
OK, well, see, this is my home, and I've used this machine many, many times, and I kinda know its capabilities.
I see.
But just to be on the safe side, you're gonna want-- Oh, no safe side.
No danger, you know? Just dirty plates gettin' clean.
Hey, I have an idea.
Take my dad and go upstairs and watch the news.
Mom and I'll finish up.
Oh, yeah, as soon as he puts that plate unrinsed right in there, I'll be happy to.
Look, we're only here one more day.
I guess we can use paper plates in the morning.
Look, OK, these dishes are gonna be clean in the morning.
That's why I bought the dishwasher, OK? To wash the dishes for me so you don't have to wash the dishes before you wash the dishes, OK? Everything goes right in there, no rinsing.
I'm going upstairs, and no one had better touch that damn dishwasher! Claudia: Sean! Oh! What the hell was that about? What? You, screaming at my parents! Baby, I was defending our dishwasher! They are downstairs in shock.
You were totally insane.
OK, I was not insane.
What you saw down there was the result of amazing self-control.
What?! All week, I've been holding it in, OK, just grinning and bearing it while the push me closer and closer to the edge! Oh, my God! What do you have in there? Canned vegetables.
For the children.
That's nice of you.
So--ahem.
You think my car'll be safe here? Oh, yeah, yeah.
I park out on the street all the time.
Oh! What about a slightly more desirable car? Ha ha ha ha! Aah! Aah Ugh! [Grunt, sniff.]
You OK, pop-pop? Oh, I'm fine, fine.
Your parents' mattress hasn't been flipped for a while.
All those--those soft spots have wreaked havoc on my neck.
Ah! [Grunt, sniff.]
[Strangling sound.]
Aaaaaaah Ah! Guess I'd better go flip that mattress, huh? Oh, Sean, that isn't necessary.
Aahhhh! What the hell? I put in some halogen bulbs.
It was like a tomb in here! Uh Look, that lampshade's smoking.
No.
Just the dirt burning off.
Come on.
He was just being helpful.
Baby, he wasn't.
He wasn't saying our house isn't bright enough.
He's saying I'm not bright enough, you know? Everything he says has that tinge of "you stink" to it.
God, he just hates my guts! Hey, he doesn't hate your guts.
Can he be a little abrasive? Yeah! OK.
But inside, he really is the sweetest man.
Way, way, way deep inside.
He just wants to see us happy.
He brought us all those gifts.
It's a mailbox! Yeah, a real big mailbox.
It's a karaoke machine! A gameboy advance! A paint set! Now, who wants to give pop-pop a big kiss, huh? Who wants to do that? Oh! Those are pop-pop's goods there.
Wake up, Claudia.
What? He made the kids happy.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
He made the kids happy.
Lily, singing: summer lovin' Had me a blast Summer lovin' Happened so fast I met a girl Crazy for me Hey, Jimmy.
Can you go upstairs and tell your sister to turn that stuff down, please? Jimmy.
Jimmy! Dad, you made me lose a wario! Aaaaahhh! Ooh.
Not bad.
Those gifts were deliberately designed by your father to drive me insane.
Oh, my God, you're right! He--he's diabolical! I mean, what better way to destroy a man than by giving nice gifts to his children? He's evil! He's just like Santa! OK, now you're twisting my works, OK? No, come on, you're losing it, all right? You're not sleeping, sweetie.
You're tired.
You're working all those double shifts.
It's not the double shifts! It's your dad! [Lily singing summer nights.]
Oh, God, there's that karaoke machine again! Lily! Oh, would you keep it down? You're throwing off my rhythm! Summer thing don't mean a thing But oh, oh, those su-um-mer nights Well-a, well-a, well-a, hooh Oh, God, the o'briens are lucky.
Their daughter just sets fires.
OK, I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry my father buys our kids nice gifts and he changes light bulbs and takes us out to nice dinners.
Oh, takes us out to nice dinners when? Last night! Oh, no, no, no, no.
He invited us out to dinner.
He did not take us out to dinner.
That was great.
Yeah, good choice, daddy.
Well, the old man knows his Chinese, tink.
You know, I could still go for some of that Mongolian beef, huh? Yeah.
Yeah, that Mongolian beef is Good stuff.
Sure is.
Goes really well with the, uh, fried rice.
Hmm.
Where is that Duck sauce? Oh! There it is.
Well, there's really no point in having any duck sauce unless you're gonna have another egg roll.
I don't want an egg roll.
Well, then, what's the point in the duck sauce? It's a palate cleanser.
Well, so, then, is the soy sauce! I better see if I can get this off before it sets.
Oh, uh I Have They are our guests.
I mean, we should pay for dinner.
Baby, I got no problem paying.
I just want him to offer just once--just to make a reach for his wallet.
You know, just a reach! [Tapping.]
What the hell is that? [Tapping.]
[Power drill.]
Oh! Jimmy, what happened here? Jimmy! Do you mind? Oh, Claudia, your dad's putting up that mailbox.
If you don't want him to put it up, go out there and nicely ask him not to.
All right.
I'm going to.
Nicely.
Nice.
OK.
Uh What are you doing? Oh, putting up your new mailbox.
Wasn't sure you knew how.
Oh, well, yeah.
2 screws.
I think I could handle it.
Because, uh Wasn't up yet.
Well, see, we already have a mailbox, and it's great.
It's worked for years.
Yeah.
Not as big as this one.
Ha ha.
No, that's big.
Yeah.
That's a real big eagle up there.
There's an apostrophe.
Yeah.
"The Finnerty's.
" That's, uh That's possessive.
The Finnerty's what? Mailbox.
It's not my fault.
Jimmy should have stopped me.
Go Wash your hands.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
[Grunting, yelling.]
Well, it's got an apostrophe.
What? The mailbox.
It says Finnerty, apostrophe "s".
So what? So people are gonna think this house is occupied by a single Finnerty who's extremely possessive of his mailbox.
OK, you know what? Your in-laws are crazy and they're ruining your life.
Welcome to my club.
Oh, Claudia, mind if I tear out the crossword? Walt, I haven't even read the paper.
Got any tape? Eddie, what are you doing? I'm making a health shake.
I'm gonna start lifting and working on my guns.
I need a lot of nutrients.
You realize, of course, I bought all this food for my children.
That's all right.
I got enough for everybody.
Oh, that is nasty! And do I get angry at them for misplaced apostrophes? OK, in all fairness, my brother Eddie's grammar is excellent! OK OK.
They're your parents.
I overreacted.
I'm sorry.
Not me.
Them.
It really adds a charm that the house lacked.
Doesn't it? Oh, Maureen, Tony No, see, there's no need to do that.
You mind just taking a seat? I wanted to apologize.
See, I've, uh I've been giving this a lot of thought, and I--I acted shamefully.
And, uh, I was yelling, I was out of control, and I'm sorry.
Well, that's very decent of you, Sean.
Yes.
It's true, and I hope you can forgive me.
I just didn't understand why you made such a fuss about a dishwasher.
Exactly.
Exactly.
And that's why I'm apologizing.
You did offer to rinse 'em.
Yeah.
Uh-uh.
Right again.
Right again.
My bad.
My bad.
That's why, um I'm sorry.
My fault.
We're just looking out for the kids.
You understand.
Of course I do.
Can we talk about something else? Sure, sure.
But there are other ways to save money on your water bill if that's what you're looking for.
Oh, yeah.
I'm sure you could teach me a few tricks on how to save money, huh, Tony? What's that supposed to mean? Well, you know, at the end of the meal when that guy brings that little piece of paper by on a tray, see, that thing's called a check, and it wouldn't hurt ya if you picked the damn thing up every once in a while! All right.
Here we go again.
Tony, I'm afraid.
We are leaving! No, no, no! Well, good! Good! No, no! What the hell kind of an apology is that? God, baby, I'm sorry! I was trying! I was being nice! Tony! Tony! Maureen Do you believe this? Du--hu--uh-- Gimme that! Just stay! Tony, please! Gimme that! Tony! Dad?! [Moans.]
Hey, Jimmy, get some ice! Dad, you made me lose a wario! Tony: Aaahhhh! Tell me more, tell me more Tell me more Hey, Sean, what's up with the extra mailbox? Tony! You're still here.
Thought you were leaving this morning.
No.
I can't drive back on this bum leg.
Who knows how long I'll be here.
What happened? Sean, why don't you tell them? He fell down the stairs.
He pushed me.
You don't say? Summer lovin', happened so fast I met a girl crazy for me I met a boy, cute as can be Summer days, driftin' away To oh, oh, those su-um-mer nights Well-a, well-a, well-a, hooh Tell me more, tell me more Did you get very far? Tell me more, tell me more Like does he have a car? Well-a, well-a, well-a, hooh OK, Ed.
Didn't she get another song with that thing? Yeah.
I think she likes that one.
How lucky for us.
Well-a, well-a, well-a, uh! So, Walt, haven't seen you for a week.
What you been up to? Ah, you know, I been workin' like an s-o-b.
Yeah, yeah.
So Where you workin' now? I'm still down at the landfill.
Really? Ah.
What? Oh, it's just, you know, what with all the downsizing and technological advancements and whatnot No, no, no, no.
The landfill's still thriving.
Oh, yeah? I was just reading about the new breed of incinerators-- Fully automated.
Uh-huh.
Well, those are still years away.
Oh! Well, we had one down in South Hills since '99.
Oh, have you? Yeah! Yep, yep, yep.
Got a whole bunch of city workers out on the street.
It's sad, really.
Paid one of 'em a buck to wash my car.
He was happy to get it.
Aw, now, you don't know what you're talking about.
See, the garbage business has got complexities you can't even begin to understand.
So why don't you just, uh Shut up.
Summer lovin' Had me a blast Big mouth know-it-all son of a-- Been chattin' with Tony, dad? He says people are gonna stop making garbage.
Look, the man is stuck on the couch.
He can't move.
The least one of you idiots can do is go play checkers with him or something.
Baby, hey, hey, I'd love to, but I got to go to work.
You have the night shift again? No.
Yeah.
Gimme the key.
The key?! The key to my place.
Ever since your parents got into town, I can't get rid of him.
Thanks a lot, Ed.
I'm sorry.
Your little Charade has become inconvenient for me.
[Telephone rings.]
Hello? Man: Hey, Thaddeus.
Thaddeus? No, no, you got the wrong number.
There's no Thaddeus here.
What are you doing? It was just a wrong number.
I'm Thaddeus! Oh, well, that was for you, then.
That's a $300-bottle of cabernet.
I--I didn't have much.
Oh, man, you won't believe it.
What a day at work! Oh-- Oh.
Wow.
Nice work.
Who is that? You were abusing my hospitality.
A good house guest should be almost invisible.
You lied to me all week! Baby, I did it for you, OK? If I hadn't gotten outta the house, I would have killed your parents by now! It turned colder That's where it ends So I told her We'd still be friends Then we made Our true love vow Wonder what She's doin' no-how-ow Summer dreams Ripped at the seams Bu-ut Oh oh! Those su-hum-mer [high voice.]
nigh-- What are you doing? Huh? I have a boyfriend, you know.
You did it! I-- Dean is gonna kick your ass! Wel--h-- I know what's goin' on here.
We sound great together, and you can't handle it! Get out! Wa--wh-- Out! Out! Get out! Listen to the music of your heart! Hey! What are those, Henry? Those are boobies.
Hey, Jimmy, what did you do? I've been playing this gameboy for, like, 6 straight hours.
It's awesome! Did you happen to fall asleep, by any chance? Maybe a minute or two.
Hey, what are you all looking at me for? Whoa, dude, what is with your face, man? What? You're painted like a voodoo man or something.
[Chuckles.]
That's cool.
I'm gonna kill you! It looks good! I'll go see what that's all about.
Oh, no, no, you don't have to do that, all right? You have been imagining things and misinterpreting things all week, all right? Enough! You have to go in there and you have to make peace with my dad.
Go.
Baby, I don't know how! Just talk to him, all right? Just take him a beer.
I saw that.
Hey, Tony.
Hey.
Wanna beer? Sure.
You didn't shake it up, did ya? Come on, what am I, like, 8? You know, I know things have been tense around here For the last week, you know, and it's all my fault.
It's just I was running around so much, and I was working, the kids were driving me crazy, and my mind just started spinning, and I thought you were[Laughs.]
Thought you were doing all these things 'cause you hated me.
Oh, Sean-- I know, I know, it's silly.
It's-- No, it isn't.
I do hate you.
I knew it! You know what? I knew it.
Why, man? Why do you hate me? Why? Why would I hate the guy that knocked up my little girl in high school? Oh, come on, man, that was a mutual thing.
If you hadn't pushed me down those stairs, I'd be kicking your butt right now.
Oh, yeah? If I tied one leg behind my back, I'd be kicking your ass hopping on one foot! You wanna go? Come on, let's go! Claudia: Sean! Help me up! How is this making peace? He hates me, baby.
He admitted it! Dad.
You bet your ass I do! I told you.
I told you! What did Sean ever do? Oh, because he just ruined your life! Did you know that Claudia was the third grade spelling champion? No.
No.
She was.
You know what spelling champions grow up to be? Professional spellers? No.
Lawyers.
Engineers.
She was gonna go to M.
I.
T.
! I was? Yeah.
You were gonna work with supercollider.
Do you even know what a supercollider is? Well, it's some kinda big Collider.
You would have explained it to me.
OK, dad, M.
I.
T.
? Are you nuts? I barely passed algebra! You were gonna write a hell of an essay, and I was gonna pull some strings.
What strings do you have at M.
I.
T.
? I woulda found strings! But no! All those dreams went away when he did what he did.
You know what, daddy? You're out of your mind a little bit, OK? It's sweet, but, um The thing is, that life That you imagined for me was never gonna be my life.
This is my life.
Here.
With Sean.
Stop that.
Tell me something.
Is strollo's still open? Yes, it is.
Well, Sean, what do you say we all go out, get us a steak? Steak sounds real good, pop-pop.
You don't get to call me pop-pop.
Come on, Maureen.
Sean is taking us out for a steak.
Baby, did you hear hi-- Shh, quiet, quiet, quiet.
[Summer nightsplays.]
Oh, my God! What is that? Lily! Oh, no.
[Screams.]
Lily! [Music plays.]
Why is he doing that? I have no idea.
Lily! He got friendly, holding my ha-and She got friendly Down in the sa-and He was sweet Just turned eight-ee-ee-een But she was good, you know what I mean Summer heat, boy and girl meet But oh, oh, those summer nights Can you stop it, please? Tell me more, tell me more How much dough did he spend? Aah! Could she get me a friend? Nah-hah
Oh, thanks, mom.
You've really turned into quite the little cook.
You should try her lasagna.
Why? There's nothing wrong with this.
I'm not saying there is.
Don't--don't listen to him.
This was very good.
Oh, thanks, dad.
You'll have to write the recipe down for me before we go.
That's right.
You guys are taking off tomorrow, aren't you? Oh, this week has just flown by.
Hasn't it? Sean, what are you doing? Loading up the dishwasher.
Don't you wanna rinse 'em first? Naw, no need to.
It's one of those new machines.
You don't have to rinse.
Just leave 'em on the counter.
Claudia and I can do 'em later.
You really don't have to do that.
It's not necessary.
We'll be happy to.
I'm not questioning that.
It's just, you know, it's a new machine.
It said that you don't have to rinse--right there, a big sign in the store.
Well, uh, that's what they say, but at home, we always prewash.
OK, well, see, this is my home, and I've used this machine many, many times, and I kinda know its capabilities.
I see.
But just to be on the safe side, you're gonna want-- Oh, no safe side.
No danger, you know? Just dirty plates gettin' clean.
Hey, I have an idea.
Take my dad and go upstairs and watch the news.
Mom and I'll finish up.
Oh, yeah, as soon as he puts that plate unrinsed right in there, I'll be happy to.
Look, we're only here one more day.
I guess we can use paper plates in the morning.
Look, OK, these dishes are gonna be clean in the morning.
That's why I bought the dishwasher, OK? To wash the dishes for me so you don't have to wash the dishes before you wash the dishes, OK? Everything goes right in there, no rinsing.
I'm going upstairs, and no one had better touch that damn dishwasher! Claudia: Sean! Oh! What the hell was that about? What? You, screaming at my parents! Baby, I was defending our dishwasher! They are downstairs in shock.
You were totally insane.
OK, I was not insane.
What you saw down there was the result of amazing self-control.
What?! All week, I've been holding it in, OK, just grinning and bearing it while the push me closer and closer to the edge! Oh, my God! What do you have in there? Canned vegetables.
For the children.
That's nice of you.
So--ahem.
You think my car'll be safe here? Oh, yeah, yeah.
I park out on the street all the time.
Oh! What about a slightly more desirable car? Ha ha ha ha! Aah! Aah Ugh! [Grunt, sniff.]
You OK, pop-pop? Oh, I'm fine, fine.
Your parents' mattress hasn't been flipped for a while.
All those--those soft spots have wreaked havoc on my neck.
Ah! [Grunt, sniff.]
[Strangling sound.]
Aaaaaaah Ah! Guess I'd better go flip that mattress, huh? Oh, Sean, that isn't necessary.
Aahhhh! What the hell? I put in some halogen bulbs.
It was like a tomb in here! Uh Look, that lampshade's smoking.
No.
Just the dirt burning off.
Come on.
He was just being helpful.
Baby, he wasn't.
He wasn't saying our house isn't bright enough.
He's saying I'm not bright enough, you know? Everything he says has that tinge of "you stink" to it.
God, he just hates my guts! Hey, he doesn't hate your guts.
Can he be a little abrasive? Yeah! OK.
But inside, he really is the sweetest man.
Way, way, way deep inside.
He just wants to see us happy.
He brought us all those gifts.
It's a mailbox! Yeah, a real big mailbox.
It's a karaoke machine! A gameboy advance! A paint set! Now, who wants to give pop-pop a big kiss, huh? Who wants to do that? Oh! Those are pop-pop's goods there.
Wake up, Claudia.
What? He made the kids happy.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
He made the kids happy.
Lily, singing: summer lovin' Had me a blast Summer lovin' Happened so fast I met a girl Crazy for me Hey, Jimmy.
Can you go upstairs and tell your sister to turn that stuff down, please? Jimmy.
Jimmy! Dad, you made me lose a wario! Aaaaahhh! Ooh.
Not bad.
Those gifts were deliberately designed by your father to drive me insane.
Oh, my God, you're right! He--he's diabolical! I mean, what better way to destroy a man than by giving nice gifts to his children? He's evil! He's just like Santa! OK, now you're twisting my works, OK? No, come on, you're losing it, all right? You're not sleeping, sweetie.
You're tired.
You're working all those double shifts.
It's not the double shifts! It's your dad! [Lily singing summer nights.]
Oh, God, there's that karaoke machine again! Lily! Oh, would you keep it down? You're throwing off my rhythm! Summer thing don't mean a thing But oh, oh, those su-um-mer nights Well-a, well-a, well-a, hooh Oh, God, the o'briens are lucky.
Their daughter just sets fires.
OK, I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry my father buys our kids nice gifts and he changes light bulbs and takes us out to nice dinners.
Oh, takes us out to nice dinners when? Last night! Oh, no, no, no, no.
He invited us out to dinner.
He did not take us out to dinner.
That was great.
Yeah, good choice, daddy.
Well, the old man knows his Chinese, tink.
You know, I could still go for some of that Mongolian beef, huh? Yeah.
Yeah, that Mongolian beef is Good stuff.
Sure is.
Goes really well with the, uh, fried rice.
Hmm.
Where is that Duck sauce? Oh! There it is.
Well, there's really no point in having any duck sauce unless you're gonna have another egg roll.
I don't want an egg roll.
Well, then, what's the point in the duck sauce? It's a palate cleanser.
Well, so, then, is the soy sauce! I better see if I can get this off before it sets.
Oh, uh I Have They are our guests.
I mean, we should pay for dinner.
Baby, I got no problem paying.
I just want him to offer just once--just to make a reach for his wallet.
You know, just a reach! [Tapping.]
What the hell is that? [Tapping.]
[Power drill.]
Oh! Jimmy, what happened here? Jimmy! Do you mind? Oh, Claudia, your dad's putting up that mailbox.
If you don't want him to put it up, go out there and nicely ask him not to.
All right.
I'm going to.
Nicely.
Nice.
OK.
Uh What are you doing? Oh, putting up your new mailbox.
Wasn't sure you knew how.
Oh, well, yeah.
2 screws.
I think I could handle it.
Because, uh Wasn't up yet.
Well, see, we already have a mailbox, and it's great.
It's worked for years.
Yeah.
Not as big as this one.
Ha ha.
No, that's big.
Yeah.
That's a real big eagle up there.
There's an apostrophe.
Yeah.
"The Finnerty's.
" That's, uh That's possessive.
The Finnerty's what? Mailbox.
It's not my fault.
Jimmy should have stopped me.
Go Wash your hands.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
[Grunting, yelling.]
Well, it's got an apostrophe.
What? The mailbox.
It says Finnerty, apostrophe "s".
So what? So people are gonna think this house is occupied by a single Finnerty who's extremely possessive of his mailbox.
OK, you know what? Your in-laws are crazy and they're ruining your life.
Welcome to my club.
Oh, Claudia, mind if I tear out the crossword? Walt, I haven't even read the paper.
Got any tape? Eddie, what are you doing? I'm making a health shake.
I'm gonna start lifting and working on my guns.
I need a lot of nutrients.
You realize, of course, I bought all this food for my children.
That's all right.
I got enough for everybody.
Oh, that is nasty! And do I get angry at them for misplaced apostrophes? OK, in all fairness, my brother Eddie's grammar is excellent! OK OK.
They're your parents.
I overreacted.
I'm sorry.
Not me.
Them.
It really adds a charm that the house lacked.
Doesn't it? Oh, Maureen, Tony No, see, there's no need to do that.
You mind just taking a seat? I wanted to apologize.
See, I've, uh I've been giving this a lot of thought, and I--I acted shamefully.
And, uh, I was yelling, I was out of control, and I'm sorry.
Well, that's very decent of you, Sean.
Yes.
It's true, and I hope you can forgive me.
I just didn't understand why you made such a fuss about a dishwasher.
Exactly.
Exactly.
And that's why I'm apologizing.
You did offer to rinse 'em.
Yeah.
Uh-uh.
Right again.
Right again.
My bad.
My bad.
That's why, um I'm sorry.
My fault.
We're just looking out for the kids.
You understand.
Of course I do.
Can we talk about something else? Sure, sure.
But there are other ways to save money on your water bill if that's what you're looking for.
Oh, yeah.
I'm sure you could teach me a few tricks on how to save money, huh, Tony? What's that supposed to mean? Well, you know, at the end of the meal when that guy brings that little piece of paper by on a tray, see, that thing's called a check, and it wouldn't hurt ya if you picked the damn thing up every once in a while! All right.
Here we go again.
Tony, I'm afraid.
We are leaving! No, no, no! Well, good! Good! No, no! What the hell kind of an apology is that? God, baby, I'm sorry! I was trying! I was being nice! Tony! Tony! Maureen Do you believe this? Du--hu--uh-- Gimme that! Just stay! Tony, please! Gimme that! Tony! Dad?! [Moans.]
Hey, Jimmy, get some ice! Dad, you made me lose a wario! Tony: Aaahhhh! Tell me more, tell me more Tell me more Hey, Sean, what's up with the extra mailbox? Tony! You're still here.
Thought you were leaving this morning.
No.
I can't drive back on this bum leg.
Who knows how long I'll be here.
What happened? Sean, why don't you tell them? He fell down the stairs.
He pushed me.
You don't say? Summer lovin', happened so fast I met a girl crazy for me I met a boy, cute as can be Summer days, driftin' away To oh, oh, those su-um-mer nights Well-a, well-a, well-a, hooh Tell me more, tell me more Did you get very far? Tell me more, tell me more Like does he have a car? Well-a, well-a, well-a, hooh OK, Ed.
Didn't she get another song with that thing? Yeah.
I think she likes that one.
How lucky for us.
Well-a, well-a, well-a, uh! So, Walt, haven't seen you for a week.
What you been up to? Ah, you know, I been workin' like an s-o-b.
Yeah, yeah.
So Where you workin' now? I'm still down at the landfill.
Really? Ah.
What? Oh, it's just, you know, what with all the downsizing and technological advancements and whatnot No, no, no, no.
The landfill's still thriving.
Oh, yeah? I was just reading about the new breed of incinerators-- Fully automated.
Uh-huh.
Well, those are still years away.
Oh! Well, we had one down in South Hills since '99.
Oh, have you? Yeah! Yep, yep, yep.
Got a whole bunch of city workers out on the street.
It's sad, really.
Paid one of 'em a buck to wash my car.
He was happy to get it.
Aw, now, you don't know what you're talking about.
See, the garbage business has got complexities you can't even begin to understand.
So why don't you just, uh Shut up.
Summer lovin' Had me a blast Big mouth know-it-all son of a-- Been chattin' with Tony, dad? He says people are gonna stop making garbage.
Look, the man is stuck on the couch.
He can't move.
The least one of you idiots can do is go play checkers with him or something.
Baby, hey, hey, I'd love to, but I got to go to work.
You have the night shift again? No.
Yeah.
Gimme the key.
The key?! The key to my place.
Ever since your parents got into town, I can't get rid of him.
Thanks a lot, Ed.
I'm sorry.
Your little Charade has become inconvenient for me.
[Telephone rings.]
Hello? Man: Hey, Thaddeus.
Thaddeus? No, no, you got the wrong number.
There's no Thaddeus here.
What are you doing? It was just a wrong number.
I'm Thaddeus! Oh, well, that was for you, then.
That's a $300-bottle of cabernet.
I--I didn't have much.
Oh, man, you won't believe it.
What a day at work! Oh-- Oh.
Wow.
Nice work.
Who is that? You were abusing my hospitality.
A good house guest should be almost invisible.
You lied to me all week! Baby, I did it for you, OK? If I hadn't gotten outta the house, I would have killed your parents by now! It turned colder That's where it ends So I told her We'd still be friends Then we made Our true love vow Wonder what She's doin' no-how-ow Summer dreams Ripped at the seams Bu-ut Oh oh! Those su-hum-mer [high voice.]
nigh-- What are you doing? Huh? I have a boyfriend, you know.
You did it! I-- Dean is gonna kick your ass! Wel--h-- I know what's goin' on here.
We sound great together, and you can't handle it! Get out! Wa--wh-- Out! Out! Get out! Listen to the music of your heart! Hey! What are those, Henry? Those are boobies.
Hey, Jimmy, what did you do? I've been playing this gameboy for, like, 6 straight hours.
It's awesome! Did you happen to fall asleep, by any chance? Maybe a minute or two.
Hey, what are you all looking at me for? Whoa, dude, what is with your face, man? What? You're painted like a voodoo man or something.
[Chuckles.]
That's cool.
I'm gonna kill you! It looks good! I'll go see what that's all about.
Oh, no, no, you don't have to do that, all right? You have been imagining things and misinterpreting things all week, all right? Enough! You have to go in there and you have to make peace with my dad.
Go.
Baby, I don't know how! Just talk to him, all right? Just take him a beer.
I saw that.
Hey, Tony.
Hey.
Wanna beer? Sure.
You didn't shake it up, did ya? Come on, what am I, like, 8? You know, I know things have been tense around here For the last week, you know, and it's all my fault.
It's just I was running around so much, and I was working, the kids were driving me crazy, and my mind just started spinning, and I thought you were[Laughs.]
Thought you were doing all these things 'cause you hated me.
Oh, Sean-- I know, I know, it's silly.
It's-- No, it isn't.
I do hate you.
I knew it! You know what? I knew it.
Why, man? Why do you hate me? Why? Why would I hate the guy that knocked up my little girl in high school? Oh, come on, man, that was a mutual thing.
If you hadn't pushed me down those stairs, I'd be kicking your butt right now.
Oh, yeah? If I tied one leg behind my back, I'd be kicking your ass hopping on one foot! You wanna go? Come on, let's go! Claudia: Sean! Help me up! How is this making peace? He hates me, baby.
He admitted it! Dad.
You bet your ass I do! I told you.
I told you! What did Sean ever do? Oh, because he just ruined your life! Did you know that Claudia was the third grade spelling champion? No.
No.
She was.
You know what spelling champions grow up to be? Professional spellers? No.
Lawyers.
Engineers.
She was gonna go to M.
I.
T.
! I was? Yeah.
You were gonna work with supercollider.
Do you even know what a supercollider is? Well, it's some kinda big Collider.
You would have explained it to me.
OK, dad, M.
I.
T.
? Are you nuts? I barely passed algebra! You were gonna write a hell of an essay, and I was gonna pull some strings.
What strings do you have at M.
I.
T.
? I woulda found strings! But no! All those dreams went away when he did what he did.
You know what, daddy? You're out of your mind a little bit, OK? It's sweet, but, um The thing is, that life That you imagined for me was never gonna be my life.
This is my life.
Here.
With Sean.
Stop that.
Tell me something.
Is strollo's still open? Yes, it is.
Well, Sean, what do you say we all go out, get us a steak? Steak sounds real good, pop-pop.
You don't get to call me pop-pop.
Come on, Maureen.
Sean is taking us out for a steak.
Baby, did you hear hi-- Shh, quiet, quiet, quiet.
[Summer nightsplays.]
Oh, my God! What is that? Lily! Oh, no.
[Screams.]
Lily! [Music plays.]
Why is he doing that? I have no idea.
Lily! He got friendly, holding my ha-and She got friendly Down in the sa-and He was sweet Just turned eight-ee-ee-een But she was good, you know what I mean Summer heat, boy and girl meet But oh, oh, those summer nights Can you stop it, please? Tell me more, tell me more How much dough did he spend? Aah! Could she get me a friend? Nah-hah