Lois and Clark: The New Adventures of Superman s02e20 Episode Script

Yes, yes.
I saw it, Dad.
Well, of course I'm upset.
No.
No, it's not good.
How's your golf score? Oh, sorry I asked.
Well, you know how windy it is at Kapalua.
Okay.
Talk to you soon.
Bye.
One of these days I am gonna get you, Perry.
And then we'll see who's smiling.
Come.
This better be good.
I'm in a bad mood.
Mr.
Church.
As you know, over a year ago your father commissioned my team to try to find some kryptonite.
Now, using the data we recovered from Bureau 39.
We knew approximately where Superman's spaceship crashed.
And last night we found this.
Twelve point seven kilometers from the ship's estimated point of impact.
From what I can tell by my experiments what you are looking at is kryptonite.
- Kryptonite? I thought it was green.
This is red.
Is there a difference? Can it kill Superman? I don't know.
All I know is its weight and structure are slightly different from green kryptonite.
So what we need is a field test.
Of course that means we'll have to send someone expendable.
Someone we at Intergang won't miss if they wind up in jail.
How about you, Gene? My pleasure, sir.
So how was your date with Agent Scardino? There's my favorite sight in the world.
The truck that delivers our payroll checks.
Lois, if you don't wanna talk about it I understand.
It was okay.
And you talked about? Things.
Lots of things.
He stuck around to have a conversation, unlike some people who always run off.
Lois, I am not always running off.
All right.
Get your hands in the air.
Nobody moves.
Nobody gets hurt.
I'll call the cops.
Unbelievable.
Help.
They're robbing the truck.
Don't worry, Lois.
They'll be in jail before you can say cappuccino.
I'm afraid you'll have to take a rain check on those checks, boys.
Oh, really? Well what if we don't want to? Well, maybe nothing.
I mean, they'll just have to reissue the checks.
So, what do I care? Right.
Come on.
- Let's go.
Let's go.
We're out of here.
- Come on, get in, get in.
Superman, you let them get away.
It's no big deal, Lois.
Most criminals are repeat offenders.
I'll just catch them again later.
- What? - And, if I don't well See ya.
Hey, come back here.
I kept thinking I was gonna wake up and it was all gonna be some terrible nightmare.
You know, he just stood there and let them drive right off.
You know, Lois, there is such a thing as individual responsibility.
What does that mean? The payroll company was responsible for the checks.
Let them deal with it.
Well, what about the individual's responsibility to society as a whole? The social contract that obligates a person to help another for the benefit of everyone.
If that's the way you feel about it great.
Otherwise I'd say kick back, enjoy, do your own thing.
- Clark, doughnut? - Are you serious? As a bear claw.
Or would you prefer chocolate-covered? Right here.
That's where Superman comes in.
Now, I talked to him and then, bam.
We opened the box and look.
He gets within 10 feet of that, his mood changes.
He doesn't even care.
Well, this is better than killing him.
He just doesn't care.
That was the problem with that green kryptonite.
It always ticked him off.
But, no, no.
This is perfect.
For Operation Nirvana to succeed it's essential we control the media.
And that means the Daily Planet.
And if Franklin Stern won't sell the Planet to me then we'll just have to do things the old-fashioned way.
And Perry White's pal, Superman won't be able to do a thing about it.
C.
K.
, I got those photographs you wanted from the Quan Project.
What? Oh, sorry.
I was just wondering about why Superman let those crooks go today.
Yeah, that was wild.
I mean, what was he thinking? I don't know.
He just He didn't seem to care.
Well, those are the luckiest crooks in Metropolis, huh? Not for long.
Because when Superman makes up his mind to do something he doesn't just stand around.
Excuse me.
Lois Lane? Ma'am? Sign here, please.
- Thanks.
- Let me guess.
Agent Scardino is on a stakeout in a florist shop.
Jealousy is so unbecoming, don't you think? I wouldn't exactly call it jealousy, Lois.
But maybe we can talk about it Saturday night over dinner.
Or after a movie? I have plans Saturday.
Look, Lois, I know that I sometimes seem to dart away just when things get serious.
But now you're the one who's backing away.
Oh, look.
A note.
"Dear Lois, sorry but I need to reschedule lunch.
" "Have to go out of town, should be back by Saturday.
Can't wait.
" "Yours and tulips, Dan.
" "Yours and tulips.
" Maybe Scardino has realized he's no good for you and he's gonna start avoiding you.
Was that a joke? Kind of.
Look, seriously, Lois.
Maybe you and I are just both afraid of the same thing.
Of being completely intimate with each other.
Well, thank you for your analysis, Dr.
Freud.
Now maybe you could turn that power of analysis to the robbery.
Did you find anything out from the cops? - No.
Nothing.
- Now, listen, just don't do anything drastic.
I know things haven't gone the way I wonder how Mr.
Stern's taking it.
Well, judging by the way Perry's pacing, I'm gonna have to say, not good.
No, no, no, Franklin.
I disagree.
The Planet is more hard-hitting.
We lead in the fight for justice and last bastion of truth in Metropolis.
The lighthouse of All right, call me when you get to Paris.
Yeah, you too.
My best to Muriel.
Am I losing my edge? - No.
Why do you ask? - No reason.
So, what did Mr.
Stern have to say? Mr.
Stern has an offer on the table.
And he's thinking about selling the Planet to the Multi-World Communications.
What? Not to Intergang? Now, Lois, we have no proof that Intergang runs Everybody on the street knows it.
Bill Church ran Intergang and his son took over.
All right, let's put a brake on that wagon right here and now.
I know you've been working on this since November.
But now you're talking about Bill Church Jr.
And I've known him ever since he was old enough to spit up on me.
Oh, and that makes him innocent? Billy used to caddie for me and his dad.
And the only thing he took over from Bill Sr was Costmart Stores.
He's doubled the stock and become one of the biggest philanthropists in the world.
And one of the biggest fakes.
So, chief.
What did Mr.
Stern say he was gonna do about the offer? Well, between this apprentice strike and now the delivery boy is sick out and this payroll thing, he was this close to selling the Planet.
I talked him out of it.
- Great.
- At least for the time being.
We've got 72 hours and then we're goners.
Unless you can convince Mr.
Stern and me that Bill Jr runs Intergang.
- Seventy-two hours? Lt'll take us that long to organize our research.
Hey, you gonna run with the billionaires you gotta run fast.
Let's break for lunch.
You can bring me up to speed on what you got so far.
Chief, it's 9:15 in the morning.
So what? Am I in charge here? Oh, man.
I got so much on my mind, I left my wallet in the car.
Be right back.
I can hardly wait to have some nice fat pastrami at 9:30 in the morning.
Yeah, yahoo.
But if it helps keep us from being sold to Multi-World Communications, I'm all for it.
What? You don't wanna write articles like, "My Mother Was An Alien Go-Go Dancer?" Hey! Get the hell away from me.
Hey, hey.
Stay out of the way.
Clark.
- Hey.
- Perry.
Let go of my arm.
Let go of my arm.
That was a big mistake.
Gentlemen.
Lucky for you Superman showed up.
I was just about to do a tap dance on your heads.
Go ahead.
- What? - Go ahead.
Tap-dance.
Or conga.
Do whatever you want.
And what would you do if I wasn't here? Superman? What? Wait, you can't Yo, move it.
So is that Tiffani with an I or a Y? Superman, Perry's just been kidnapped.
With an I.
I didn't wanna seem clichéd, you know? - Well, go get him.
Stop the truck.
- Lois, don't have a stroke.
What do you think police are for? So do you, like, have to work out and stuff? Nope, it's all natural.
Wanna feel? - I'm gonna go call the cops.
- Cool.
So how long have you been in the canine personal-care industry? Oh, this isn't my normal job.
I'm really an actress.
No.
Really? - More time in jail than a cat with nine lives.
Need anything, just pick up the phone.
Yeah, I'd be picking up the phone to my lawyer if I were you.
I would expect nothing less from the crusading Perry White.
Billy? They They got you too? Actually, they work for me.
So in effect l've got you.
Care to run that by me again? Intergang.
I run it.
Now do the pieces fit? Yeah, like horns on a June bug.
So you were behind Multi-World Communications' offer to buy the Planet? Of course.
You see, I not only took over Dad's legit businesses, I also took over lntergang as well.
Kind of a two-for-one deal.
Unfortunately, you made Mr.
Stern hesitate on our bid.
So I thought this might tip the scales a bit.
Perry, I brought you here because I wanna make you an offer.
I want you to be part of the Intergang family.
You and Alice will be taken care of for life.
We got a great medical program and a terrific retirement plan.
Anyway, I know this is a lot to absorb.
Think about it.
We'll talk again and then we'll see.
A cave? Superman, where are you when I need you? Superman, Perry was being kidnapped and you just stood there.
What's going on? I honestly don't know.
You don't know.
Well, who do I call who does know? Miss Cocker Spaniel? Lois, it's difficult to explain but it's like suddenly I just don't care.
You don't care? How could you not care? Perry is gone and the Planet is practically sold.
Here, maybe this will help.
- I should've thought of this sooner.
- No kidding.
- Jimmy? - Yeah.
Fax this to the police.
Get a copy to everybody we know.
Especially Bobby Bigmouth.
Somebody's gotta know this guy.
You got it.
Superman have you ever had these moods before? - Never.
And now all of a sudden, for no particular reason, you're feeling kind of down? - Kind of, "What's the point of everything?" - Exactly.
Well, I think you should call this number.
She did wonders for my sister, Lucy.
Dr.
Friskin? She's a psychotherapist.
A shrink? Great.
No permanent address, no social security number and no insurance.
I assume you'll be paying cash? - Well - Superman l'm Dr.
Friskin.
I haven't been myself lately.
I've been feeling apathetic toward everything.
And this worries you? Dr.
Friskin every day I make choices that affect the lives of millions of people.
Life and death.
Good and evil.
Sometimes the fate of the whole world depends on the things that I do or the choices that I make.
So yes this worries me.
So you're feeling stressed? So have you thought any more about my offer? Your offer.
Let's see.
All I have to do to take you up on your offer is, what? Give up my pride my integrity.
Throw away the public trust that I've earned through 35 years of hard work.
Just to back off my responsibility to the American people to give them the truth? Basically.
Yeah.
Well, I won't do it.
Then instead of stopping the kidnappers I was talking to a girl.
Did you find this girl attractive? Yes.
But I should've been helping Perry.
Do you have a girlfriend right now? Yes.
No.
It's kind of complicated.
I haven't exactly told her everything about me.
And I'm afraid that that is well, it's making her drift toward this other guy.
Does he have super powers too? You know, Perry I talked to your mom today.
- My mom? Love the rest home.
Very tasteful.
You know she's in great shape for a woman her age.
She cheats at bridge but she's in great shape.
She sends her love.
My mother would twist your head off if she'd known what you'd done.
No doubt.
Oh, and, Alice says to say hello too.
Though, don't you think she deserves a new car? You know, after a few years things start to go wrong.
Like brakes.
Now look.
Billy I want you to put our differences aside, here.
We go back a long time.
Think of what you're saying, son.
This is Alice.
This is Alice you're talking about.
- Perry, please.
- Please, please.
Not Alice.
Perry, get a grip on yourself.
Don't worry.
I'm a very patient man.
To a point.
Mr.
Stern, Lois Lane here.
Well, no.
Perry isn't in right now because he had to Had to meet a source that would only talk to him.
No.
We haven't got any more on the Intergang connection.
We're working on it.
Well, yes, I know I speak for Perry when I say that it would be a bad idea to sell.
Oh, sure, no problem.
Well, say hello to the Eiffel Tower for me.
Oh, you're in Rome now.
Why didn't you tell him? Because that would make him sell.
One more crisis and boom.
We're all gonna be writing headlines about Oprah's latest diet.
We gotta keep this thing quiet.
Okay, okay.
Bali or Seychelles? Perry isn't here now, Karl.
Oh, I need an answer now.
The Sunday mag closes in five.
Well, run both.
That means I need more copy.
Oh, God.
Sometimes, you know, I think about taking on a secret identity.
I'm speaking hypothetically of course.
- See, that way I could - Oh, I'm sorry.
We're gonna have to stop.
Stop? My next appointment's here.
We could continue tomorrow.
Say 10 a.
m.
? Yeah, sure.
As long as I'm not out saving the world or something.
Fine.
Doctor, may I? Sure.
Go right ahead.
- All done.
- Thank you.
Hey, Billy.
You run a first-class prison.
Oh, Perry, don't think of it as a prison.
I'd like you to think of this place as your future corporate headquarters.
I'll never join Intergang.
Perhaps you don't fully understand the situation.
You see if you work for me you get rich beyond your wildest dreams.
Lf, on the other hand you continue to cling to your misguided morality you die.
Now, at Harvard Business School we'd call that a no-brainer.
It's all right.
Whatever you have to say you can say in front of Perry.
Because he'll either be part of our team or he'll soon be playing for the angels.
I put the red kryptonite in Dr.
Friskin's office.
Red kryptonite? What in the sam hill is that? Well, we discovered it by accident.
But we're very pleased with its effects on Superman.
See, evidently it makes him very apathetic about his work.
So that's why he didn't try to save me? But he thinks he's having some kind of nervous breakdown.
See, it's perfect.
Superman is going to a shrink to get well but all he'll get is more exposure to the red kryptonite.
My scientists tell me that his condition could become permanent.
- Permanent? Oh, by the way, send a nice little gift off to Friskin's receptionist for tipping us off.
Something along the lines of a Mercedes.
Already handled, Mr.
Church.
You know l'm ashamed I ever let you spit up on me.
Do I really wanna continue being Superman? Of course.
Why? Well, because.
People need me.
So you see being Superman as your job? Well, everybody needs a break from their job.
To gain some perspective and avoid burn out.
When was the last time you had a vacation? I mean, really, just got away from Metropolis? I spent some time in London last year.
Well, that sounds wonderful.
How long were you there? About two minutes.
I was diverting a wayward nuclear missile.
How relaxing.
No, Mr.
Stern.
I haven't seen Perry this morning.
Well, maybe he had car trouble.
Yes, I realize Multi-World Communications needs an answer in 48 hours.
- You might reconsider your position - Here you go.
Oh, of course.
Well, I'll tell him to call you as soon as I see him.
Again, where have you been? I had a dentist appointment.
You got your teeth cleaned at a time like this? I wouldn't be concerned about the paper.
When Stern sells, we're all gonna be out of a job anyway.
- Any word from the police on Perry? - Nothing.
Don't worry.
He'll show up.
He'll show up? This is Perry we're talking about, not some lost poodle.
I know, but there's no need to get upset about things that you can't control.
In fact, I was talking to Superman and he's thinking about taking a vacation.
A vacation? Now? Dr.
Friskin is supposed to be helping him, not encouraging him to take a cruise.
I think it's a pretty good idea.
It's almost time for lunch.
Wanna try that Italian place? How can you be thinking about lunch? You're right, it's too early.
I'll just grab a Danish and a cappuccino.
Here you go.
I gotta go out for a while.
Jimmy, hold down the fort.
Isn't that what they said to Jim Bowie at The Alamo? Doctor, I need Superman back to his old self and you've got him taking a vacation.
Oh, well, these things don't happen overnight.
It could take years to get him on the road to recovery.
- Years? - Lf ever.
See, he's in the process of making some very critical life decisions at this juncture.
Well, what's to decide? He's Superman.
Well, he may be Superman to you.
But first and foremost he's a person.
A very complex person.
How would you describe your relationship with him? Well, it's complicated.
Superman is wonderful and well, we just haven't been able to Oh, and then there's Clark and You know, Superman's attitude seems to be rubbing off on him too.
Oh, and then there's Dan.
He's very, well, you know.
So two of the men in your life are suffering from the same malaise.
Well, yes.
Wait a minute.
You don't think that's because of me, do you? What do you think? Well, no offense, but I haven't had the greatest luck with psychiatrists.
You've spent some time in therapy? Oh, no.
Just that the last psychiatrist that I saw well, had an exact double of me made and tried to kill me.
And how did that make you feel? Perry went to an executive retreat, you know? Those places where they talk about the future, play a little golf.
- When is he coming back? - I'm not exactly sure, but soon.
I am sitting on a major story.
I got word that an aide to the mayor has been the recipient of her sexual advances.
What? - Do you have a witness? - An eyewitness.
She's not back until tomorrow.
Wally, gosh.
- I don't know.
- You don't know? Who cares if you don't know.
I need Perry's approval to go with this now.
Well, I'll call him and run it by him.
You do that.
I'm gonna finish the story.
All right.
- Psychic counselors.
- Yeah, hello, is this Zina? Yes, of course.
You gotta help me.
Lois, I'm sorry about my attitude earlier.
Bobby Bigmouth called.
He ID'd that picture.
Gene Newtrich, a soil engineer.
- Soil engineer and part-time kidnapper.
- We got a working address.
Well, what are we waiting for? Let's jump on this.
Well, I guess that Danish and cappuccino did the trick.
There it is.
There must be a zillion combinations to that thing.
Well, let me give it a try.
You keep watch on the hallway.
How'd you do that? L l I don't know.
- What exactly are we looking for? - I have no idea, but hopefully we'll find it.
Lois, what about Saturday? Let's just stick to the problem at hand, okay? Fine.
Still I don't understand why a soil engineer would be involved in a plot to kidnap Perry.
Well, that's the $64,000 question.
Newtrich has gotta be tied to some larger organization.
You're probably right, Lois.
But then again, why should we even care? Oh, no.
Is Mr.
Hyde back again? We're wasting our time here.
You know, if we hurry we can still make a 9:00 movie.
Look at this.
These are the substructure plans for Costmart.
- That's nice.
- Newtrich worked for Costmart.
Costmart is run by Bill Church Jr.
Newtrich might work for Intergang.
What should we do? Get caught in the act, I guess.
- Come on.
We gotta get out of here.
- Hey.
We can still make it to that movie.
Easy, Jimmy.
Olsen.
- I'm meeting that eyewitness tonight.
- Okay Hold on a sec.
Mr.
White's office.
Yes.
Mr.
Stern.
Yeah, Perry's not in right now.
Where is he? He's getting his hair cut, I think.
I thought you said he was at a retreat.
I talked to him this morning, Wally.
He was getting his hair cut at the retreat.
They've got this great barber there and Yes, Mr.
Stern, I'll have him call you as soon as he gets in.
Okay, bye.
Look, I need an answer now.
I've already lost one day.
Perry says, until you talk to the witness and got her checked out, the story's on hold.
Damn.
At least that's what he would've said, I hope.
I love being Superman.
Fighting crime, helping people.
It's what I live for.
Or, it's what I used to live for.
Now I don't know.
It's just all so frustrating.
That That That's good.
That's good.
Can you stay with that emotion? I'm frustrated because Lois is going out with this other guy and there's nothing that I can do to stop it.
I'm frustrated because every single time I try and talk to her I have to dash off and save someone.
I'm frustrated because I'm the strongest man in the world and everything feels like it's spiraling out of control, and that just makes me mad.
Really mad.
You see, Bob.
He's in touch with his feelings.
Sorry about the wall.
I just No, no, no.
It's all right.
I'd have gone with a primal scream, though.
What is that? I have no idea.
It's got all the properties of kryptonite, but it's red.
Did you plant this here? I have no idea how it got there, really.
I don't even understand what this is about.
Oh, really? On second thought maybe it doesn't matter.
That rock seems to have a calming influence on you.
Would you like to talk about what just happened? Yes.
Sorry about the window.
This isn't easy to explain but when the planet Krypton exploded fragments from that planet crashed into Earth.
We call that kryptonite.
Now, green kryptonite can kill me.
But I've never seen this red variety before.
So if green kryptonite affects you physically then it's possible red kryptonite has been affecting you mentally.
If I had to guess I would say that it has unleashed deep feelings that you've been harboring.
And now that I am aware of them it's up to me to figure out how to deal with them.
Exactly.
Lunchtime.
Caviar, smoked salmon and a petite filet.
A man could get used to this.
Mr.
Church has his own chef.
Hey.
Hey, Clark.
How was the movie? I never made it.
I just ended up walking aimlessly around the city.
If you're back in the land of the living, you can help me by taking a look at these.
This might be something.
There are two full basements in these plans.
They need room for excess merchandise? Look, the loading docks line up to this first-level basement.
But the second-level basement is only accessed by one small passenger elevator.
Which means they don't use the subbasement for storage.
What do you think is down there? - Lois Lane.
- Lois.
Perry? It's Perry.
Are you all right? I'm fine.
I'm a prisoner.
Bill Church Jr.
, has me.
He's head of Intergang.
I knew it.
Bill Church is the head of Intergang.
He's holding Perry prisoner.
Great.
Ask him where he is.
Oh.
Perry, where are you? Perry? We got disconnected.
You wanna take a look at this subbasement? - It's our only shot.
- Let's go.
Did you bring your Mission Impossible toolbox? I'm traveling a little bit light today.
- I'm good.
- Yes, you are.
Okay.
You go left, I'll go right.
Be careful.
- All files deleted.
- There.
The computers are wiped clean as a newborn.
Now if we have any unpleasant visits from the authorities there will be nothing for them to find about Intergang.
And by this time tomorrow Multi-World Communications will own the Daily Planet.
How far is that landfill site? About a half-hour out of town.
Ready for a little investigative digging? - Lois.
Run, honey, run! - Stop where you are.
Miss Lane, your timing couldn't have been worse.
- Is there room for two in that landfill? - I think so.
I think we'll skip the tour of the landfill Church.
Superman.
How nice to see you.
This little situation is really no concern of yours.
Fight it, Superman.
- Don't give in.
- Don't give in? What's going on? All right, now, Superman.
Time to be on your way.
Maybe you're right.
Then again, maybe it's not.
Nobody get excited and Miss Lane may live to see another sunset.
Perry, put the gun down.
Don't move, Superman.
This gun has a very delicate trigger mechanism.
I wouldn't want it to go off accidentally.
You just stay right there.
How about over here? Lois, why don't you go call the police while I keep Bill here and his friends company.
It's great to be back.
Lois, Clark.
Come in here.
I was just telling Jimmy how I stopped one of Church's henchmen with a karate chop.
You know, Elvis is into karate.
- It was impressive.
- Almost as impressive as your story, chief.
Well, you know, I haven't had a byline in 17 years.
It's nice to know I've still got the juice.
Nice to know Mr.
Stern's not selling the paper.
Oh, I think we're safe for a while.
Jimmy, I heard you were running the show while I was gone.
Not exactly.
You see Now, now, now, son.
You did a good job.
Now, Wally's eyewitness turned out to be a world-class liar.
If we'd gone with that story, the mayor would've sued our butts off.
Well I just did what you always taught me.
Went with my gut.
L I only have one question.
What's this "Call Zina"? Isn't that that number you call for personal psychic guidance? I can explain that.
I think we better go now.
I can.
Really.
- Here you go, Lois.
- Thanks.
Bad news? Dan called.
He won't be back until Monday.
Which means that you're free tonight.
So you could go out with me.
These two situations are mutually exclusive.
Dan's availability or lack thereof has nothing to do with our relationship.
And your continual disappearing act.
Look, Lois, I'm not gonna try to stop you from going out with Dan.
That's your choice.
But I've given this a lot of thought.
And I realize that instead of dancing around my feelings for you that I have to meet them head on.
And verbalize my emotions.
And your going out with Dan it does upset me.
I don't know what to say.
Say you'll go out with me tonight.
And I promise you I will not disappear.
All right.
You can pick me up at 7.
Okay.
But you promise you won't disappear.
And you'll be there at 7.
And 7:01.
And 7:02.
And 7:03.
And 7:04.
And 7:05.