Marvel's Guardians Of The Galaxy (2015) s02e20 Episode Script

1 [WARLOCK.]
So, for the purposes of this exercise, Gamora, I am forbidden to use my gem? That's right, Adam.
Because any weapon you rely on too much becomes a crutch and a weakness.
Plus we're sort of fond of the cosmos, so we don't want to see you lose control and accidentally blow it all up.
Apologies, Rocket.
Absorbing evil into my gem is a bit of a reflex.
That's why you need to learn new reflexes.
Your body has natural weapons - hands, elbows, knees, feet.
- [GRUNTING.]
Yes.
I understand now.
And vulnerable points like the eyes, - the neck, and the wrist! - [GRUNTS.]
Hey, Quill, 20 units says he's down in ten seconds.
Fifty units says he's down in five.
[GROANS.]
That was just anatomy class.
Fighting is about three things [GRUNTS.]
- speed, strength - [GRUNTS.]
[GASPS.]
[GRUNTS.]
and surprise.
- [GROANING.]
- Now, this is entertainment! Yeah, well, Adam doesn't look too entertained, Drax.
You okay, buddy? He's fine.
[GRUNTS.]
I would like to try again, Gamora.
Speed.
[STRAINING.]
Strength! [GRUNTS.]
[GRUNTS.]
Victory! [GRUNTS, GROANS.]
[BODY THUDS.]
How could he forget "surprise"? And now the victor must feast upon his opponent's entrails! What? It is a tradition among my people.
[GRUNTS.]
Pathetic! You think your enemies want to dance with you? They want to end you! - That's the first thing Thanos taught me.
- [YELLING.]
Uh, a guy who wants to destroy the universe is maybe not the best role model.
I am Groot! Back off! [GRUNTS.]
[YELLS, GRUNTS.]
Gamora! What are you doing? [YELLS.]
Adam, no.
Nice going, Warlock.
You just sucked Gammy into that rock in your head.
Correction.
One of the rocks in your head.
- It's okay.
Just spit her out.
Gently.
- [GROANING.]
[GRUNTS.]
Stay back! [ALL GRUNT.]
Gamora may be the least of our problems.
[GROANING.]
Adam, you have to calm down.
Your gem's unstable.
As in "destroy the whole universe" unstable.
I am Groot.
Ugh.
The darkness in her eyes.
I panicked.
I I'm sorry.
[GRUNTS.]
[GRUNTS.]
It's okay, Adam.
No, it's not.
He's a failure! I've known sponges with more fight.
She's right, Peter Quill.
It seems the warrior spirit is not in me.
Since I remain a universal danger as long as my instinct is to absorb whatever threatens me, my choice is clear.
I must reject all violent emotion from this moment forward.
What? No, that is the exact wrong idea.
You just need to train harder.
You have to learn to fight.
You're dealing with a great internal pain.
I felt it earlier.
[GRUNTS.]
Stay out of my head! Strange.
I sense your race, the Zen-Whoberi, were pacifists.
Yes.
And it got them destroyed by Thanos.
But they can still live on in your memory.
Enough! Maybe you can get into my mind, but you won't get under my skin.
You want to defeat me? There's only one way physically.
Maybe this will help you find your warrior spirit.
Whoa! Whoa! I'm calling time-out.
I'm calling time-out.
I am Groot.
[GRUNTING.]
Aah! [GROANS.]
[GRUNTING.]
[GROANS.]
[GROANS.]
I don't know what's scarier: The fact that she just did that or the fact that she could always do that.
Absolutely not.
No.
Go away.
Shoo! Every time you show up, - I end up closing for repairs.
- End up closing for repairs.
J'Que, amigo, that's totally unfair.
Yeah.
It's more like every other time.
I swear, the very last thing we're here to do is fight.
I'd take the little weasel at his word, Q.
Quill here can't even be counted on to fight for his best friends.
Gotta say, it really soured my milk when you abandoned me to the High Evolutionary's tender mercies.
And after all I done for you.
Done for me or done to me, Yondu? The blame is mine for absorbing you into my gem.
For that, I apologize.
But I will not fight you.
Nor anyone else.
Not ever.
See? Just six thirsty pacifists.
[BEEPING.]
[TECHNO.]
[GLASS SHATTERS.]
Uh, okay.
Well, I think we can all agree that Gamora's expressed her point of view very clearly.
Adam, what would you like to say to Gamora? [GRUNTS.]
Please, just let him communicate in his own weird way.
I seek only to heal you of your pain.
Your scars are deep and old.
[GIGGLING.]
[STARTLED GRUNTING.]
[YELLS.]
[GRUNTS.]
[CRIES OUT.]
Don't ever do that again! That's right.
You get you the gem, and I guarantee he won't fight back.
You just get me the units.
Enough.
Your one purpose is to rid the universe of evil something you evidently don't give a Klyntar's butt about anymore.
- I feel your pain.
- No, you don't! If you did, you wouldn't take yourself out of the fight when you have the power to do something! [QUILL.]
Okay.
Good work, Gamora.
I think Adam hears that.
[ROCKET.]
I think they heard it on Halfworld.
Oh! Oh! Watch it! [GRUNTS.]
[GRUNTS.]
[PATRONS GASP, EXCLAIM.]
[GRUNTS, ROARS.]
What say we table this discussion? As you wish.
Got to love Mr.
Literal.
[GRUNTS.]
[PATRONS GRUNT.]
Not again! [HIGH-PITCHED BEEPING.]
[CHITTERING.]
[PATRONS GRUNTING.]
[GRUNTS.]
[GROWLING.]
Oh, hey, nice profile.
[CLATTERS.]
[GRUNTS.]
I can take care of myself, you know.
[GROANS.]
[GRUNTS.]
Okay, now drive this herd outside.
[PATRONS EXCLAIMING.]
[WEAPONS CONTINUE FIRING.]
[SCREAMS.]
[CLAMORING.]
[GRUNTING.]
[GROANS.]
[PATRON.]
Ohh! [CHATTERING.]
[YELLS.]
[PATRONS GRUNTING.]
Greetings, Adam Warlock.
Come with me, please.
[GASPS.]
Where am I? Welcome, Adam Warlock.
I am Taneleer Tivan, but you may call me the Collector.
I'm delighted no, honored that you have accepted my invitation.
"Invitation"? I don't recall [CRYING OUT.]
Invitation, captured The point is, you're here.
It really is marvelous.
What a coup it would be to have that gem of yours in my collection literally my crowning jewel.
And yet it's impossible.
The gem is embedded in my forehead.
I am known as something of a genius at obtaining things.
And genius is simply the art of taking pains.
Or, when necessary, inflicting them.
[MACHINE POWERING UP.]
[SCREAMING.]
[GROWLING.]
[GRUNTING.]
[GROANING.]
[PANTING.]
I am Groot? Nah.
She needs to work this out.
[GROANS.]
There are some forces even Drax the Destroyer will not trifle with.
[DOOR OPENS.]
[BELLS JINGLE.]
I believe you said something to the effect of, "No fighting, not anyone, not ever.
" Technically, it wasn't me who said that.
It was Wait.
Where'd Adam go? Aahh! - Yondu, where's Warlock? - [YELLS.]
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
We don't know he had anything to do with this.
Aah! Okay, apply some gentle persuasion.
[YELLS.]
Hey, hey! He said, "Gentle persuasion.
" That is gentle.
You know, for her.
[YELLS.]
Whoa! Okay, okay.
I sold Warlock out to the Collector, but I don't know where he took him.
You're lying.
[YELLS.]
Whoa! No, no, no, no, no, no! It's the truth.
I swear! And you owe me a boot! [STARTLED GRUNT.]
[CRIES OUT.]
[COSMO'S VOICE.]
Now, why Guardians throw away perfectly good Ravager? How'd you know Cosmo would show up? I didn't.
Cosmo read Yondu's mind.
Is telling truth about Warlock.
But Cosmo also read Gamora is for flying off handle out of concern for friend.
And, uh, how you say, smidge bit of guilt, too, da? Warlock refuses to protect himself, and it's sort of my fault.
Then Cosmo help locate.
[BARKING.]
With help from Continuum Cortex, yeah? Finding Collector's ship is easy.
Finding exact location for teleport to friend may take time.
We don't have time.
[PANTING.]
[BARKING.]
[COSMO SHOUTS IN RUSSIAN.]
Nyet! [GRUNTS.]
Oh, man! She's usually the one who stops me from doing stupid things.
Is worse than stupid.
Gamora does not have Passport wristband.
Cosmo cannot retrieve.
[DRAX.]
Her comm link does not respond.
Which means it's up to me, as per krutackin' usual.
[BEEPS.]
I am Groot? 'Cause I was once a part of his collection, so I know his ship better than anyone.
Plus I got a sweet tooth for payback.
We'll follow in the Milano and distract him with some fireworks.
Make 'em pretty.
[GRUNTING.]
Gammy? That you? Flarg! Flarg! Fla-a-arg! [YELLS.]
And flarg.
[CRYING OUT.]
Yes, I know it is painful, but imagine my pain if I were to damage your precious gem while extracting it.
[EXPLOSION.]
[GASPS.]
Intruders? [EXPLOSION.]
I said "distract," not "destroy.
" Being destroyed is distracting.
[LAUGHING.]
Fools! But if they want my collection so badly, who am I to deny them? [CHITTERING.]
Uhh What is that thing? Drax will go ask it.
I am Groot? [PANTING.]
[CHITTERING.]
Stay on that side of the glass, if you know what's good for you.
- Adam! - You! [GRUNTS.]
[MACHINE POWERING DOWN.]
Are you all right? [GROANS.]
That the best you got, Collector? [CHITTERING.]
I'm gonna go with "no.
" Seriously? [CHITTERING.]
[QUILL ON RADIO.]
Come on! Come on! [DRAX GRUNTING.]
I am Groot! I am Groot! I am Groot! Come on.
We're gonna have to fight our way off this ship.
I will not fight.
You Ugh! Fine.
I'll fight, you watch.
[CHITTERING.]
Get back! [GRUNTS.]
Perhaps combat is not always the answer.
Yeah, I could see that was working well for you.
[SCREECHES.]
[GRUNTING.]
[GRUNTS.]
My blade! [CLANGS.]
Adam! I sense pain here.
There's a name for that kind of pain.
It's called hunger! [SCREECHES.]
[GROWLING.]
[QUILL ON RADIO.]
Drax, Groot, how's it going out there? [GRUNTS.]
I have suffered worse.
I am Groot! Okay.
Cool.
Speaking of which, stay clear of the exhausts.
[STRAINING.]
Drax, give him a nudge.
[GRUNTS.]
[YELLS.]
[CRACKLING.]
[GASPS.]
Hmph! I was guaranteed there would be no resistance.
[GRUNTING.]
I'm using the creature's anger against it.
It will wear itself out soon! [GRUNTING.]
[GROANS.]
Not soon enough.
[CHITTERING.]
Adam [WARLOCK ROARING.]
[BLOW LANDS.]
[GROWLS.]
You [SCREECHING.]
evil monster! Speed, strength, surprise.
I I think you got it.
[PANTING.]
This would be where you get these things off me, - and we get outta here.
- [COLLECTOR.]
No.
This would be where I collect your heads for my trophy room.
[CRYING OUT.]
[YELLS.]
[GRUNTS.]
[SCREAMING.]
Wait! Did I say your heads? I meant your head shots.
As in photos, for autographs.
- Please do not hurt me.
- Adam, what are you doing? [GRUNTING.]
Just what you taught me.
I'm destroying him physically.
[MACHINE POWERING UP.]
[SCREAMING.]
Adam, listen to me.
You've obviously found your inner warrior.
But you have to remember why I fight.
Thanos took my pacifism but not my compassion.
That's why I turned on him.
I fight, but not from hate.
I fight for my friends! That was going to be lesson two.
[GRUNTS SOFTLY.]
[MACHINE POWERING DOWN.]
[GROANS.]
You should rethink that order.
[SIGHS.]
Wait.
What are you doing? Compassion.
That was your whole point, right? But not before [GRUNTS, GROANS.]
I suggest you cover irredeemable villains in lesson three.
Not that you'll live to teach it.
[GRUNTS.]
[WEAPON CLANGS.]
[GROANS.]
See, now, collecting without permission is called stealing.
And stealing's my job.
I swear I gotta do everything myself! Huh! Forget something? [CHITTERING.]
Huh? [WHIMPERING.]
Well, love to stick around, but, uh [WHIMPERING CONTINUES.]
[SCREECHING.]
Uh, maybe I will stick around.
[LAUGHS.]
This could be fun.
Ow! Killjoy.
[BEEPS.]
[SPARKS FROM POWER TOOL CRACKLING.]
Hmm.
All singing from same page now? Thanks to you.
And to you, for teaching me not just how to fight, but when and why.
I'm sorry to have put us in danger while it all sunk in.
Too compassionate's definitely a problem.
But so's too angry, and when you went there, I saw me.
Part of me, anyway.
Not my favorite part.
Everything in balance, da? I always denied there was any wisdom in my people's pacifism.
You needed to, to survive.
Maybe.
But right now, I'm missing the memory of them more than ever.
You know, some memories we erase ourselves because they make us feel vulnerable.
Those ones are never truly lost.
[GIGGLING.]
[SIGHS.]
[CRIES SOFTLY.]
[QUILL.]
Hey, is that a [ALL.]
Uhhh What? - We saw nothing.
- And by "nothing," baldy means the most dangerous woman in the galaxy weeping like [YELLS.]
[THUD.]
[COUGHS.]
Scratch that.
Didn't see a thing.
[GROANS.]