Remington Steele (1982) s02e20 Episode Script
Woman of Steele
You look so much like a woman I used to know.
We've never met.
- Who are you? - Don't you know? Oh, Laura, if this were some normal case we were working on I'd blithely come up with a string of movies to explain it all.
But this is my life, Laura.
My own bloody life come back to haunt me.
I may have given you your name, even decided your line of work but your past, I always knew you had that over me.
If you have some idea that your old friend is going to simplify your life by easing me out of it, then you're playing a very dangerous game.
Ah, Laura, just think of the beauty the inspiration that surrounds us here- Picasso, Matisse.
It's not Matisse I'm thinking about.
It's Caroline Welles.
I'm not so sure how resounding her trust is in the security system we've installed for the exhibit.
Ah, then this unbounding step is apprehension, and not one of joie de vivre.
Oh, then, Laura, don't worry about it.
I'll take care of everything.
Actually, Laura, I've always admired the Walter Patton Collection.
I'm sure you have.
That's exactly the sort of admiration we're meant to protect it from.
Oh, Laura, you've cut me to the quick.
I've totally reformed.
- My past is exactly that, past.
- Oh.
- Mr.
Steele.
- Ah, Mrs.
Welles.
Brilliant, Mr.
Steele.
I've spent the greater part of the morning trying to find a polite way to get these gentlemen to demonstrate your security system and you merely step in and do it.
- Oh.
- Mr.
Steele has a way with dispensing with formalities.
All in the way of testing, Mrs.
Welles.
Well, I promised Herbert I'd stop but it'll have to wait until the exhibit opens.
What he doesn't see won't hurt me, I suppose.
We can understand your apprehensions, Mrs.
Welles but the Remington Steele Agency has an extensive knowledge of security systems.
In fact, Mr.
Steele has tested any number of systems around the world.
Or would you say the western hemisphere, sir? Uh, worldwide will do.
Um, Mrs.
Welles, let me expl- I do appreciate your dedication, Mr.
Steele.
If anything went wrong, I'd be most unhappy.
Mr.
Steele is going to explain the pattern of photoelectric beams.
- Aren't you, sir? - Would you pardon me, please? Where's he going? Mr.
Steele always insists on a complete layout of the premises.
Oh, how thorough of him.
You're shaken, Anna.
I take it this was an unexpected event for both of us.
I had no idea he was here, Raymond, in this city, in this country.
- What does he know? - What could he know? I haven't seen him since Monte Carlo.
Of course, you have no desire to rekindle the relationship.
Raymond, if you're so concerned about it why don't you go and get the car so we can get out of here.
Mr.
Steele, I must admit I was a little disturbed this afternoon when you took off.
But then Miss Holt explained how thorough you are.
The Remington Steele Agency prides itself on its thoroughness.
And when Mr.
Steele sees something that attracts his attention he won't hesitate to track it down, will you, sir? Herbert, be a dear and entertain our guests.
I must freshen up a bit.
She's going to the ladies' room for a smoke.
I must say, I'm- I'm extremely proud of Caroline.
Almost any museum in the country would have given their endowment in order to show the Patton Collection.
This is Mrs.
Welles's first coup as a new trustee, isn't it? Yes, but she kept after Patton until she got it.
It's, uh, a pretty song, isn't it, Mr.
Steele? Yes.
Yes, it is.
Would you care to dance, Mr.
Welles? I'm sure Mr.
Steele won't mind.
The music seems to absorb him so.
Hi.
Excuse me.
Excuse me.
- Yes? - Anna? - Have we met before? - I thought so.
Uh- You- You look so much like a woman I used to know.
We've never met.
I'm sure I'd remember.
You must have me confused with someone else.
Yes, I- I expect I do.
I'm sorry to intrude.
Twice in one day.
He must have come here with the Welleses.
Interesting coincidence.
Is it so odd that Caroline Welles and I would frequent the same places? Where's Miss Holt? Well, she had to leave.
She remembered an important meeting - she had with a client.
- A client? Well, yes.
A Miss, uh, Mildred Krebs, I believe.
Miss Krebs, yes.
A very demanding woman.
Uh, Mr.
Welles, would you excuse me, please? I, too, have to be at that meeting.
You private detectives certainly lead an exciting life.
Yes, well, sometimes more unsettling than exciting.
Forgive me, please.
I think I've convinced him.
He's confused.
I certainly hope so.
Well, my hair's different now.
My whole look's different.
- I wonder.
- About what? Oh, I wonder about you, my dear.
If you have some idea that your old friend is going to simplify your life by easing me out of it then you're playing a very dangerous game.
Dangerous for both of you.
May I come in? Isn't it a bit late to be straying from your neighborhood, Mr.
Steele? I'm sorry about the club, Laura.
I didn't mean for you to leave.
What did you expect me to do? Spend the evening looking at the back of your head? It happened in the museum.
That was all right.
Now it's happened again? Well, watching you with that blonde is not my idea of a rollicking night out.
I know.
I know.
I know.
You have every right to be angry.
I don't want to be angry.
I just want to be let in on the joke.
I feel like the only person in the room who doesn't know the punch line.
The woman in the club, uh is the mirror image of someone I used to know.
Someone? Anna Simpson.
She was, uh- She was a woman I knew in Monte Carlo.
- But the blonde isn't she? - Anna's dead.
She died, uh, the night we were to go away together.
I'm sorry.
I don't know who she is, but she sounds so much like Anna.
She looks so much like her.
Oh, Laura, if this were some normal case we were working on I'd blithely come up with a string of movies to explain it all.
I mean, Vertigo.
James Stewart, Kim Novak, Paramount, 1958.
A man becomes obsessed with the image of a woman he loves.
Uh, Obsession.
Uh, Cliff- Cliff- Cliff Robertson and Geneviève Bujold Columbia, 1976.
But this is my life, Laura.
My own bloody life come back to haunt me.
I wanted to tell you.
I really did.
I- I don't know.
I just- I was afraid it all would sound so, I don't know, so insane.
Maybe.
Maybe not.
Some people in our lives are meant to never leave us.
Mm.
Thank you.
For what? For understanding.
Remington Steele.
What an odd name.
Who are you? Don't you know? Anna.
Oh, my God.
Oh, why didn't you tell me? - Why didn't you find me? - I couldn't.
A five-line obituary? Death by drowning? I was in danger.
You would have been too.
Do you know what it was like for me? I waited the entire night for you, Anna.
I was still waiting the next morning when I read the paper.
I mean, all I can remember, all I can see were the words - that you were married and you were dead.
- Oh, I had to.
It broke my heart to leave you, but I had to do it.
Oh, why did you come back, eh? I'd finally accepted the fact that you were dead.
I mean- I began to build a new life.
At least I'm trying.
I only came here because of what happened tonight at the club.
You have to stay away from me.
What are you saying? If I see you again, if you even come near me, it'll make things worse.
I'm still in danger.
- What? What are you saying? What kind of danger? - I can't tell you.
- Anna, please, I'll help you.
What- - No! Whatever happens, you must stay away from me.
- Pretend this night never happened.
- For heaven's sake, please.
Do as I ask.
- Good morning, chief.
- Morning, Mildred.
- Coffee? - No, thank you, Mildred.
Oh, boss, Miss Holt would like to see you.
Mr.
Steele? Miss Holt? Yes, Mildred.
- Good morning.
- Good morning.
You wanted to see me? I think there's something in this morning's paper you might find interesting.
It seems our mystery woman isn't such a mystery after all.
Her name is Lydia Vanowen and she's going to marry Walter Patton.
Not bad marrying if you like fortunes.
What is it? I don't understand.
Did something happen? Did something change from last night? - Where are you going? - Out.
Mr.
Steele, if you recall, we do have business to conduct.
I'm sure you can manage without me for a while.
I suspect I'll have to.
- What happened? - You tell me.
What would you assume when a man kisses you in the evening then turns into a total stranger the next morning? - You mean, you and Mr.
Steele? - It's hard to believe from that.
Oh, well, there must be some explanation.
Yes.
And I think I know where to find it.
You shouldn't be here.
Why didn't you tell me that you're getting married to Walter Patton that you were living in his house? Well, it wasn't Walter I was concerned about.
- Oh, who is it then? - No one as respectable, I can assure you.
The man I was in the club with last night? His name is Raymond.
Raymond Merleau.
Oh, yes, your obituary.
Anna Simpson Merleau? Oh, you don't understand.
I never loved Raymond.
I married him to carry off an insurance scheme.
That's why I died, to collect on the policy he took out on my life.
Oh, I wanted to tell you about it, believe me, I did.
- Why didn't you then? - Well, how could I? I lied.
I'd staged my own death.
I was nothing but a swindler.
Last night you said you were in danger.
Raymond's come back into my life.
He left me in Monte Carlo without a cent.
I was a dead woman- no past, no present.
To all intents and purposes, I didn't exist.
One day I grew too tired of running and had to stop.
I became Lydia Vanowen in a third-class coach to St.
Moritz.
Is that where you met Patton? Walter saw me one night and asked me to dance.
The way you did.
If you're gonna marry him, why is Raymond still around? To congratulate me.
He showed up after the engagement to remind me that, whether dead or alive, we were still man and wife.
He offered to share Walter with me if I shared Walter's wealth with him.
And if I refused he threatened to tell Walter everything.
So Patton doesn't know? As far as he's concerned, Raymond and I are old and dear friends.
He's even staying in the house.
And Raymond won't have Walter believe otherwise as long as I marry him.
- And if you don't? - Don't you see? I was content to go through with it until you came along.
But now if I don't, if Raymond should see us together he'll know that you're a threat to his plans and he'll make it his business to get rid of you.
Stay away.
I don't want you to get hurt.
I'll take care of Raymond.
You don't have to worry about him anymore.
What are you doing here? Trying to understand what's happening between us.
Look.
I'm not a child.
If there's a woman in your past, I can accept that.
But I want you to be honest with me.
You knew Lydia and Anna were one and the same when you walked into the office.
Laura, please, let me understand the facts of my own life and then I'll give them to you, okay? If you give them to me.
What we have here is a game, Mr.
Steele.
You dole out pieces of your past and I'm supposed to be grateful for your trust.
I may have given you your name, even decided your line of work but your past, your damned past, I always knew you had that over me.
I was hoping your present had come to mean as much to you.
Do you honestly believe that all the time we've spent together means so little to me, hey? How can I answer that when I have no idea what came before or what you're feeling now? You're the one who knows what I'm up against.
You have to decide, not me.
Come in.
- An unexpected pleasure.
- Mr.
Steele was here.
Did he come on his own, or was he summoned? - Why would I summon him? - Well, I don't know, Anna, my dear.
I never know quite what you have in mind.
If I had something in mind, why would I tell you he was here today? Why did you go to his apartment last night? You see, I followed you.
I just can't bear to let you out of my sight.
He forced me to go to him last night for the same reason he was here today.
He's blackmailing me.
He'll expose me to Walter if I don't pay.
Oh, I see.
Then he will have to be dealt with.
I know what he's like, Raymond.
He won't stop until he gets what he wants.
- Don't underestimate me, my dear.
- You'll have to move quickly.
Walter will be home the day after tomorrow.
And when he is, Remington Steele will be no more than an unpleasant memory.
Raymond Merleau.
M- E-R-L-E-A-U.
Right.
Well, I know he was in Monte Carlo about three years ago so start with Interpol, okay? Yes, Mildred.
Okay, thank you.
Bye.
Okay.
Thank you.
- Oh, Mr.
Steele's not back yet.
- Did I ask for him? I'm sorry, Mildred.
I'm sorry.
Oh.
Sounds like someone's giving you a rough time, honey.
Oh, Miss Holt, I don't know much about yours and Mr.
Steele's private life- - Join the party.
- But this morning you told me- That was this morning.
One day, I decide our relationship is strictly professional.
"Laura," I say, "you work with the man.
"So all right, you're attracted to him.
Forget about it.
Maybe in the future.
" Maybe that future isn't so far away.
I know there's something between us, and I know he feels it too.
It's as if we're groping towards each other but every time our fingers touch, something happens.
One of us pulls away.
Miss Holt, I'll be straight with you.
I've seen you and Mr.
Steele.
And I'll admit that sometimes the dance you do around each other makes my head spin.
Maybe if one of you wouldjust stand still long enough.
I have no hold on him.
And if his past can just blow in and wipe out the present, maybe I should forget him.
Oh, from what I've just heard, that sounds like the last thing you wanna do.
Mildred, Mr.
Steele and I have gone out we've had our fun, but we've never done anything more.
So why should I care if he wants to see someone else? Why should I feel like I wanna kill him? It's because you're not being rational, even though you want to be.
Of course I wanna be rational.
Oh, honey.
You know, Mildred, the more I think about it the more it seems that Mr.
Steele and I are being forced apart.
I let myself get sidetracked today.
When you went to Miss Vanowen's? A woman who suddenly reappears in his life twice in one day.
A woman who's supposed to be dead.
This time I'm not going to get sidetracked.
- Can I help you? - Huh? Oh, just browsing.
Oh, this ain't a bookstore.
Amazing eclectic establishment you have here.
Nothing seems to have a serial number on it.
- You in the market for something, bud? - The gentleman who just left.
Uh, would you mind telling me what he purchased? - Hey, you can't be a cop.
- A distant cousin.
I'm a private investigator.
Oh, then we both know I don't have to tell you anything.
You really ought to let more people know about the wide array of merchandise you have here.
Perhaps if you advertise.
Say, uh, in the Police Gazette? Marcus! Is that you getting noisy, boss? Our friend there gets his kicks from shooting the breeze with the police.
Maybe he ought to talk to you first.
Oh, but you don't impress me as the kind who engages in idle chatter.
Now then, who else do I need to have to go through in this bureaucracy, eh? A gun.
He bought a gun.
Delighted we had this chance to chat.
Miss Holt, you wanted to see me? It's been a nerve-racking day.
- One of the curators knows Herbert.
- Mm-hmm.
Oh, gorgeous, isn't she? Yes, she is.
How well do you know Lydia Vanowen? Oh, well enough to know she has Walter Patton completely smitten.
Imagine, one of the richest men in the world and he fawns over that girl like a schoolboy in short pants.
But then I imagine you know Lydia rather well yourself.
- What makes you think that? - Mm.
Well, it was she who recommended that I hire the Remington Steele Agency.
Did she really? I suppose then she worked with Mr.
Steele rather than you? Did she give you that impression? Well, it just seems whenever I speak to Lydia I end up filling her in on my comings and goings with Mr.
Steele.
Did you happen to tell her Mr.
Steele and I were dining with you at the club the other night? Yes, I suppose I did.
- And that earlier we'd be at the museum? - I must have.
She's taken such an extraordinary interest in the exhibit.
Darling, did I say something wrong? Not in the least.
- You're in early.
- You've corrupted me.
- Should I be encouraged? - Laura, I've become a slave to my work.
Security for the museum? Hmm? Another matter actually.
Aprofessional matter? Anna's in trouble.
- She needs my help.
- What kind of help? A man's threatening her.
- I promised to remove that threat.
- And then? She's free to marry Walter Patton.
Is that what you want? I don't know.
I suppose I haven't thought that far ahead.
I feel a little like the messenger bearing bad news.
I may get my head lopped off, but then I haven't been using it much lately anyway.
Anna Simpson's reappearance into your life was not accidental.
- What do you mean? - She persuaded Caroline Welles to hire the Remington Steele Agency.
She knew you were going to be at the museum.
And she knew where you were going to have dinner that night.
I told you.
There is a man threatening her.
He watches her constantly.
That's why she had to make our meetings appear to be accidental so he wouldn't become suspicious.
I hope you're right.
Laura, listen.
Just- Please.
Please.
I have to take this one step at a time.
And the first step is to remove that leech.
I hope you're right.
- What do you think you're doing? - Saving you the trouble.
- Packing can be such a bore.
- Yes, but I'm not going anywhere.
- Guess again, mate.
- I suppose you think you're stepping in.
In a sense.
I'm protecting Miss Vanowen.
Is that what you call your game? You're a very popular fellow.
Half the police in Europe have been after you.
You can forget your plans.
You come near Anna one more time and you're gonna have your pick of jails, you understand? - Yes, I understand, mate.
- One more thing.
Where is it? - Where's what? - The gun you purchased.
Ah, there we go.
Yes, I'll see that you get a refund.
Oh, just in time, your taxi.
Come on.
They say Rio's lovely this time of year.
- Where's Miss Vanowen? - She left a while ago, sir.
- She say where she was going? - She did mention something about the museum.
Thank you.
Miss Vanowen.
My name is Laura Holt.
I work with Remington Steele.
Oh, from everything I hear about the man, you are very fortunate.
It's a little late in the game for that tact, Miss Vanowen.
I suspect the two of you have quite a history.
- Does that depress you? - It intrigues me.
After all these years, you come back into his life.
- Why? - A happy coincidence.
I just came from the club where you happened to run into him the other night.
That song they played when you arrived absolutely mesmerized him.
I'm sure it holds great meaning for both of you.
Oh, by the way, the orchestra leader is very appreciative of the generous tip you gave him for playing it.
Anytime you have another request, just ask.
Are we discussing my relationship with Mr.
Steele or yours? Exactly what are you to him anyway? We were in the process of working that out when you came along.
If I was a better person, I'd wish you good luck.
As it is, I bid you good-bye.
You have more than marriage to Walter Patton on your mind.
Perhaps I found someone else I'd rather spend my life with.
Before or after he gets rid of the man who's threatening you? What can someone possibly have that could frighten a woman about to marry one of the wealthiest men in the world? Interesting question, wouldn't you agree, Anna? I'll let you know when I find the answer.
And as far as you and Mr.
Steele are concerned I wouldn't be too quick to celebrate victory.
We haven't even put on the gloves yet.
Miss Vanowen, please.
Mr.
Merleau.
Would you give her this number? It's 555-6200, Room 9.
I'd like her to call me the minute she gets in.
Thank you.
Whiskey, please.
- Thank you.
- Mm-hmm.
I come here all the time.
That sounds great to me.
Oh, yeah.
Lady, you are in for the gallop of your life.
Perhaps next time you'll get it right.
What a pity.
Hey, what the hell is it with you, lady? Take your hands off me.
Oh, you like to tease a little bit, do you? Does it make it better for you? I asked you to take your hands off me.
Okay.
That's over.
Can we get down to business now? Do you really think I'd want you to put your hands on me even for a moment? - What? - You disgust me.
- Why you little- - Ah.
- Whoa.
Whoa.
- That'll do.
Come on.
Yes.
Lady, I don't get this.
You don't have to.
You've done your job.
Thank you.
Tequila.
Again.
Nobody can sing the blues like he can.
If you're another broad on a trip, try the next station.
She give you a rough time? - Who? - The blonde? Take a walk.
That was some shiner you gave her.
What's it to you, lady? What the hell am I getting myself into here? All right, what is it? Some kind of setup? You might need a friend if she decides to press charges.
She was asking for it.
She got what she ordered.
What's the matter? Didn't she want to play cowboys and Indians? Wait a minute.
I was sitting here, minding my own business.
The hotel was her idea.
- Maybe she got cold feet.
- Yeah, she was cold all right.
Like ice.
And I'm telling you- she was looking to get belted.
The minute we got in that room, she started saying things, laughing at me.
It was like she had some kind of plan or something.
- What kind of plan? - I don't know.
But after I clipped her, she checked her face like she had to have something to show.
Then she thanked me.
- Thanked you? - Yeah, for getting the job done.
Have one on me.
And don't worry.
You won't be hearing from her again.
- I'm here to see Miss Vanowen.
- I'm afraid she's not seeing anyone, sir.
- She'll see me.
- I'm sorry, sir.
Is anything wrong? I can't say, sir.
Anna? Anna? What is it? Hmm? Hey.
Hey.
Oh, my God.
Oh, what happened? I fell.
On the stairs.
- Raymond? - No.
Damn him.
I thought I pushed him out of your life for good.
He'd kill me if he knew I saw you again.
- He'll kill you as well.
- Where is he? - What are you gonna do? - Just tell me where he is.
The club.
I have to meet him there with some money.
My first installment.
- Okay.
- Don't go.
Please.
Wait! - Yes.
- He wants the money tonight.
- What happened? - He just called.
He insisted I bring $10,000 as a first installment.
- Where? - The club.
He's on his way there now.
And so am I.
She's not coming, Merleau.
Laura, get back.
! Laura, are you all right? You've been set up.
Both of you.
I know you don't wanna believe that, but it's true.
This is exactly what Anna wants.
Just get down and stay quiet.
She wants you to kill Raymond.
That was her plan from the very beginning.
She told you Raymond beat her, didn't she? I never touched the woman.
Of course you didn't.
But she needed something that would drive you over the edge.
Something that would make you put Raymond out of the picture completely.
So she set up an unsuspecting cowboy at a western bar this afternoon and ridiculed him into hitting her.
That's persuasively put, young lady, but I'm afraid it doesn't change anything.
I've invested too much to allow either of you to walk away from this.
Go.
Go, go, go, go.
Darling.
You're alive.
You just had to see who came through that door, didn't you, hmm? Oh, darling, I was afraid he'd kill you.
I thought he had.
And you can claim self-defense.
I mean, after he shot me, he came after you.
What difference does it make? He's out of our lives.
No, Anna, no.
He'll always be with us.
- What are you saying? - You murdered him.
And unhappily for both of us, I can prove it.
You wouldn't send me away.
Not now, now that we've found each other again.
We could have had so much together.
Good-bye, Remington Steele.
Um a thank-you gift from Caroline.
I felt the urge to share it immediately.
How thoughtful.
Uh, actually, I felt the urge to see you.
Explain some things.
There's no need.
It might help put some things in perspective for us.
Uh, when I went to Anna's, it was for two reasons.
The first was to say that I had sent Raymond packing.
And the second, and more painful, was to say that I- I felt that we, uh, didn't have a future together.
She'll always be part of my past.
But I, uh, realized that's where that relationship belonged.
What made you realize that? You.
I'm not the same man I was when I walked into your life, Laura.
I've changed.
You've changed me.
I only changed your name.
Well, merely the most obvious alteration.
Ooh.
Well, what shall we drink to? Oh, um, uh, the present, eh? - The present? - Yes, and the future.
Isn't that getting a little brazen for us, Mr.
Steele? Oh- Let's be brazen, eh?
We've never met.
- Who are you? - Don't you know? Oh, Laura, if this were some normal case we were working on I'd blithely come up with a string of movies to explain it all.
But this is my life, Laura.
My own bloody life come back to haunt me.
I may have given you your name, even decided your line of work but your past, I always knew you had that over me.
If you have some idea that your old friend is going to simplify your life by easing me out of it, then you're playing a very dangerous game.
Ah, Laura, just think of the beauty the inspiration that surrounds us here- Picasso, Matisse.
It's not Matisse I'm thinking about.
It's Caroline Welles.
I'm not so sure how resounding her trust is in the security system we've installed for the exhibit.
Ah, then this unbounding step is apprehension, and not one of joie de vivre.
Oh, then, Laura, don't worry about it.
I'll take care of everything.
Actually, Laura, I've always admired the Walter Patton Collection.
I'm sure you have.
That's exactly the sort of admiration we're meant to protect it from.
Oh, Laura, you've cut me to the quick.
I've totally reformed.
- My past is exactly that, past.
- Oh.
- Mr.
Steele.
- Ah, Mrs.
Welles.
Brilliant, Mr.
Steele.
I've spent the greater part of the morning trying to find a polite way to get these gentlemen to demonstrate your security system and you merely step in and do it.
- Oh.
- Mr.
Steele has a way with dispensing with formalities.
All in the way of testing, Mrs.
Welles.
Well, I promised Herbert I'd stop but it'll have to wait until the exhibit opens.
What he doesn't see won't hurt me, I suppose.
We can understand your apprehensions, Mrs.
Welles but the Remington Steele Agency has an extensive knowledge of security systems.
In fact, Mr.
Steele has tested any number of systems around the world.
Or would you say the western hemisphere, sir? Uh, worldwide will do.
Um, Mrs.
Welles, let me expl- I do appreciate your dedication, Mr.
Steele.
If anything went wrong, I'd be most unhappy.
Mr.
Steele is going to explain the pattern of photoelectric beams.
- Aren't you, sir? - Would you pardon me, please? Where's he going? Mr.
Steele always insists on a complete layout of the premises.
Oh, how thorough of him.
You're shaken, Anna.
I take it this was an unexpected event for both of us.
I had no idea he was here, Raymond, in this city, in this country.
- What does he know? - What could he know? I haven't seen him since Monte Carlo.
Of course, you have no desire to rekindle the relationship.
Raymond, if you're so concerned about it why don't you go and get the car so we can get out of here.
Mr.
Steele, I must admit I was a little disturbed this afternoon when you took off.
But then Miss Holt explained how thorough you are.
The Remington Steele Agency prides itself on its thoroughness.
And when Mr.
Steele sees something that attracts his attention he won't hesitate to track it down, will you, sir? Herbert, be a dear and entertain our guests.
I must freshen up a bit.
She's going to the ladies' room for a smoke.
I must say, I'm- I'm extremely proud of Caroline.
Almost any museum in the country would have given their endowment in order to show the Patton Collection.
This is Mrs.
Welles's first coup as a new trustee, isn't it? Yes, but she kept after Patton until she got it.
It's, uh, a pretty song, isn't it, Mr.
Steele? Yes.
Yes, it is.
Would you care to dance, Mr.
Welles? I'm sure Mr.
Steele won't mind.
The music seems to absorb him so.
Hi.
Excuse me.
Excuse me.
- Yes? - Anna? - Have we met before? - I thought so.
Uh- You- You look so much like a woman I used to know.
We've never met.
I'm sure I'd remember.
You must have me confused with someone else.
Yes, I- I expect I do.
I'm sorry to intrude.
Twice in one day.
He must have come here with the Welleses.
Interesting coincidence.
Is it so odd that Caroline Welles and I would frequent the same places? Where's Miss Holt? Well, she had to leave.
She remembered an important meeting - she had with a client.
- A client? Well, yes.
A Miss, uh, Mildred Krebs, I believe.
Miss Krebs, yes.
A very demanding woman.
Uh, Mr.
Welles, would you excuse me, please? I, too, have to be at that meeting.
You private detectives certainly lead an exciting life.
Yes, well, sometimes more unsettling than exciting.
Forgive me, please.
I think I've convinced him.
He's confused.
I certainly hope so.
Well, my hair's different now.
My whole look's different.
- I wonder.
- About what? Oh, I wonder about you, my dear.
If you have some idea that your old friend is going to simplify your life by easing me out of it then you're playing a very dangerous game.
Dangerous for both of you.
May I come in? Isn't it a bit late to be straying from your neighborhood, Mr.
Steele? I'm sorry about the club, Laura.
I didn't mean for you to leave.
What did you expect me to do? Spend the evening looking at the back of your head? It happened in the museum.
That was all right.
Now it's happened again? Well, watching you with that blonde is not my idea of a rollicking night out.
I know.
I know.
I know.
You have every right to be angry.
I don't want to be angry.
I just want to be let in on the joke.
I feel like the only person in the room who doesn't know the punch line.
The woman in the club, uh is the mirror image of someone I used to know.
Someone? Anna Simpson.
She was, uh- She was a woman I knew in Monte Carlo.
- But the blonde isn't she? - Anna's dead.
She died, uh, the night we were to go away together.
I'm sorry.
I don't know who she is, but she sounds so much like Anna.
She looks so much like her.
Oh, Laura, if this were some normal case we were working on I'd blithely come up with a string of movies to explain it all.
I mean, Vertigo.
James Stewart, Kim Novak, Paramount, 1958.
A man becomes obsessed with the image of a woman he loves.
Uh, Obsession.
Uh, Cliff- Cliff- Cliff Robertson and Geneviève Bujold Columbia, 1976.
But this is my life, Laura.
My own bloody life come back to haunt me.
I wanted to tell you.
I really did.
I- I don't know.
I just- I was afraid it all would sound so, I don't know, so insane.
Maybe.
Maybe not.
Some people in our lives are meant to never leave us.
Mm.
Thank you.
For what? For understanding.
Remington Steele.
What an odd name.
Who are you? Don't you know? Anna.
Oh, my God.
Oh, why didn't you tell me? - Why didn't you find me? - I couldn't.
A five-line obituary? Death by drowning? I was in danger.
You would have been too.
Do you know what it was like for me? I waited the entire night for you, Anna.
I was still waiting the next morning when I read the paper.
I mean, all I can remember, all I can see were the words - that you were married and you were dead.
- Oh, I had to.
It broke my heart to leave you, but I had to do it.
Oh, why did you come back, eh? I'd finally accepted the fact that you were dead.
I mean- I began to build a new life.
At least I'm trying.
I only came here because of what happened tonight at the club.
You have to stay away from me.
What are you saying? If I see you again, if you even come near me, it'll make things worse.
I'm still in danger.
- What? What are you saying? What kind of danger? - I can't tell you.
- Anna, please, I'll help you.
What- - No! Whatever happens, you must stay away from me.
- Pretend this night never happened.
- For heaven's sake, please.
Do as I ask.
- Good morning, chief.
- Morning, Mildred.
- Coffee? - No, thank you, Mildred.
Oh, boss, Miss Holt would like to see you.
Mr.
Steele? Miss Holt? Yes, Mildred.
- Good morning.
- Good morning.
You wanted to see me? I think there's something in this morning's paper you might find interesting.
It seems our mystery woman isn't such a mystery after all.
Her name is Lydia Vanowen and she's going to marry Walter Patton.
Not bad marrying if you like fortunes.
What is it? I don't understand.
Did something happen? Did something change from last night? - Where are you going? - Out.
Mr.
Steele, if you recall, we do have business to conduct.
I'm sure you can manage without me for a while.
I suspect I'll have to.
- What happened? - You tell me.
What would you assume when a man kisses you in the evening then turns into a total stranger the next morning? - You mean, you and Mr.
Steele? - It's hard to believe from that.
Oh, well, there must be some explanation.
Yes.
And I think I know where to find it.
You shouldn't be here.
Why didn't you tell me that you're getting married to Walter Patton that you were living in his house? Well, it wasn't Walter I was concerned about.
- Oh, who is it then? - No one as respectable, I can assure you.
The man I was in the club with last night? His name is Raymond.
Raymond Merleau.
Oh, yes, your obituary.
Anna Simpson Merleau? Oh, you don't understand.
I never loved Raymond.
I married him to carry off an insurance scheme.
That's why I died, to collect on the policy he took out on my life.
Oh, I wanted to tell you about it, believe me, I did.
- Why didn't you then? - Well, how could I? I lied.
I'd staged my own death.
I was nothing but a swindler.
Last night you said you were in danger.
Raymond's come back into my life.
He left me in Monte Carlo without a cent.
I was a dead woman- no past, no present.
To all intents and purposes, I didn't exist.
One day I grew too tired of running and had to stop.
I became Lydia Vanowen in a third-class coach to St.
Moritz.
Is that where you met Patton? Walter saw me one night and asked me to dance.
The way you did.
If you're gonna marry him, why is Raymond still around? To congratulate me.
He showed up after the engagement to remind me that, whether dead or alive, we were still man and wife.
He offered to share Walter with me if I shared Walter's wealth with him.
And if I refused he threatened to tell Walter everything.
So Patton doesn't know? As far as he's concerned, Raymond and I are old and dear friends.
He's even staying in the house.
And Raymond won't have Walter believe otherwise as long as I marry him.
- And if you don't? - Don't you see? I was content to go through with it until you came along.
But now if I don't, if Raymond should see us together he'll know that you're a threat to his plans and he'll make it his business to get rid of you.
Stay away.
I don't want you to get hurt.
I'll take care of Raymond.
You don't have to worry about him anymore.
What are you doing here? Trying to understand what's happening between us.
Look.
I'm not a child.
If there's a woman in your past, I can accept that.
But I want you to be honest with me.
You knew Lydia and Anna were one and the same when you walked into the office.
Laura, please, let me understand the facts of my own life and then I'll give them to you, okay? If you give them to me.
What we have here is a game, Mr.
Steele.
You dole out pieces of your past and I'm supposed to be grateful for your trust.
I may have given you your name, even decided your line of work but your past, your damned past, I always knew you had that over me.
I was hoping your present had come to mean as much to you.
Do you honestly believe that all the time we've spent together means so little to me, hey? How can I answer that when I have no idea what came before or what you're feeling now? You're the one who knows what I'm up against.
You have to decide, not me.
Come in.
- An unexpected pleasure.
- Mr.
Steele was here.
Did he come on his own, or was he summoned? - Why would I summon him? - Well, I don't know, Anna, my dear.
I never know quite what you have in mind.
If I had something in mind, why would I tell you he was here today? Why did you go to his apartment last night? You see, I followed you.
I just can't bear to let you out of my sight.
He forced me to go to him last night for the same reason he was here today.
He's blackmailing me.
He'll expose me to Walter if I don't pay.
Oh, I see.
Then he will have to be dealt with.
I know what he's like, Raymond.
He won't stop until he gets what he wants.
- Don't underestimate me, my dear.
- You'll have to move quickly.
Walter will be home the day after tomorrow.
And when he is, Remington Steele will be no more than an unpleasant memory.
Raymond Merleau.
M- E-R-L-E-A-U.
Right.
Well, I know he was in Monte Carlo about three years ago so start with Interpol, okay? Yes, Mildred.
Okay, thank you.
Bye.
Okay.
Thank you.
- Oh, Mr.
Steele's not back yet.
- Did I ask for him? I'm sorry, Mildred.
I'm sorry.
Oh.
Sounds like someone's giving you a rough time, honey.
Oh, Miss Holt, I don't know much about yours and Mr.
Steele's private life- - Join the party.
- But this morning you told me- That was this morning.
One day, I decide our relationship is strictly professional.
"Laura," I say, "you work with the man.
"So all right, you're attracted to him.
Forget about it.
Maybe in the future.
" Maybe that future isn't so far away.
I know there's something between us, and I know he feels it too.
It's as if we're groping towards each other but every time our fingers touch, something happens.
One of us pulls away.
Miss Holt, I'll be straight with you.
I've seen you and Mr.
Steele.
And I'll admit that sometimes the dance you do around each other makes my head spin.
Maybe if one of you wouldjust stand still long enough.
I have no hold on him.
And if his past can just blow in and wipe out the present, maybe I should forget him.
Oh, from what I've just heard, that sounds like the last thing you wanna do.
Mildred, Mr.
Steele and I have gone out we've had our fun, but we've never done anything more.
So why should I care if he wants to see someone else? Why should I feel like I wanna kill him? It's because you're not being rational, even though you want to be.
Of course I wanna be rational.
Oh, honey.
You know, Mildred, the more I think about it the more it seems that Mr.
Steele and I are being forced apart.
I let myself get sidetracked today.
When you went to Miss Vanowen's? A woman who suddenly reappears in his life twice in one day.
A woman who's supposed to be dead.
This time I'm not going to get sidetracked.
- Can I help you? - Huh? Oh, just browsing.
Oh, this ain't a bookstore.
Amazing eclectic establishment you have here.
Nothing seems to have a serial number on it.
- You in the market for something, bud? - The gentleman who just left.
Uh, would you mind telling me what he purchased? - Hey, you can't be a cop.
- A distant cousin.
I'm a private investigator.
Oh, then we both know I don't have to tell you anything.
You really ought to let more people know about the wide array of merchandise you have here.
Perhaps if you advertise.
Say, uh, in the Police Gazette? Marcus! Is that you getting noisy, boss? Our friend there gets his kicks from shooting the breeze with the police.
Maybe he ought to talk to you first.
Oh, but you don't impress me as the kind who engages in idle chatter.
Now then, who else do I need to have to go through in this bureaucracy, eh? A gun.
He bought a gun.
Delighted we had this chance to chat.
Miss Holt, you wanted to see me? It's been a nerve-racking day.
- One of the curators knows Herbert.
- Mm-hmm.
Oh, gorgeous, isn't she? Yes, she is.
How well do you know Lydia Vanowen? Oh, well enough to know she has Walter Patton completely smitten.
Imagine, one of the richest men in the world and he fawns over that girl like a schoolboy in short pants.
But then I imagine you know Lydia rather well yourself.
- What makes you think that? - Mm.
Well, it was she who recommended that I hire the Remington Steele Agency.
Did she really? I suppose then she worked with Mr.
Steele rather than you? Did she give you that impression? Well, it just seems whenever I speak to Lydia I end up filling her in on my comings and goings with Mr.
Steele.
Did you happen to tell her Mr.
Steele and I were dining with you at the club the other night? Yes, I suppose I did.
- And that earlier we'd be at the museum? - I must have.
She's taken such an extraordinary interest in the exhibit.
Darling, did I say something wrong? Not in the least.
- You're in early.
- You've corrupted me.
- Should I be encouraged? - Laura, I've become a slave to my work.
Security for the museum? Hmm? Another matter actually.
Aprofessional matter? Anna's in trouble.
- She needs my help.
- What kind of help? A man's threatening her.
- I promised to remove that threat.
- And then? She's free to marry Walter Patton.
Is that what you want? I don't know.
I suppose I haven't thought that far ahead.
I feel a little like the messenger bearing bad news.
I may get my head lopped off, but then I haven't been using it much lately anyway.
Anna Simpson's reappearance into your life was not accidental.
- What do you mean? - She persuaded Caroline Welles to hire the Remington Steele Agency.
She knew you were going to be at the museum.
And she knew where you were going to have dinner that night.
I told you.
There is a man threatening her.
He watches her constantly.
That's why she had to make our meetings appear to be accidental so he wouldn't become suspicious.
I hope you're right.
Laura, listen.
Just- Please.
Please.
I have to take this one step at a time.
And the first step is to remove that leech.
I hope you're right.
- What do you think you're doing? - Saving you the trouble.
- Packing can be such a bore.
- Yes, but I'm not going anywhere.
- Guess again, mate.
- I suppose you think you're stepping in.
In a sense.
I'm protecting Miss Vanowen.
Is that what you call your game? You're a very popular fellow.
Half the police in Europe have been after you.
You can forget your plans.
You come near Anna one more time and you're gonna have your pick of jails, you understand? - Yes, I understand, mate.
- One more thing.
Where is it? - Where's what? - The gun you purchased.
Ah, there we go.
Yes, I'll see that you get a refund.
Oh, just in time, your taxi.
Come on.
They say Rio's lovely this time of year.
- Where's Miss Vanowen? - She left a while ago, sir.
- She say where she was going? - She did mention something about the museum.
Thank you.
Miss Vanowen.
My name is Laura Holt.
I work with Remington Steele.
Oh, from everything I hear about the man, you are very fortunate.
It's a little late in the game for that tact, Miss Vanowen.
I suspect the two of you have quite a history.
- Does that depress you? - It intrigues me.
After all these years, you come back into his life.
- Why? - A happy coincidence.
I just came from the club where you happened to run into him the other night.
That song they played when you arrived absolutely mesmerized him.
I'm sure it holds great meaning for both of you.
Oh, by the way, the orchestra leader is very appreciative of the generous tip you gave him for playing it.
Anytime you have another request, just ask.
Are we discussing my relationship with Mr.
Steele or yours? Exactly what are you to him anyway? We were in the process of working that out when you came along.
If I was a better person, I'd wish you good luck.
As it is, I bid you good-bye.
You have more than marriage to Walter Patton on your mind.
Perhaps I found someone else I'd rather spend my life with.
Before or after he gets rid of the man who's threatening you? What can someone possibly have that could frighten a woman about to marry one of the wealthiest men in the world? Interesting question, wouldn't you agree, Anna? I'll let you know when I find the answer.
And as far as you and Mr.
Steele are concerned I wouldn't be too quick to celebrate victory.
We haven't even put on the gloves yet.
Miss Vanowen, please.
Mr.
Merleau.
Would you give her this number? It's 555-6200, Room 9.
I'd like her to call me the minute she gets in.
Thank you.
Whiskey, please.
- Thank you.
- Mm-hmm.
I come here all the time.
That sounds great to me.
Oh, yeah.
Lady, you are in for the gallop of your life.
Perhaps next time you'll get it right.
What a pity.
Hey, what the hell is it with you, lady? Take your hands off me.
Oh, you like to tease a little bit, do you? Does it make it better for you? I asked you to take your hands off me.
Okay.
That's over.
Can we get down to business now? Do you really think I'd want you to put your hands on me even for a moment? - What? - You disgust me.
- Why you little- - Ah.
- Whoa.
Whoa.
- That'll do.
Come on.
Yes.
Lady, I don't get this.
You don't have to.
You've done your job.
Thank you.
Tequila.
Again.
Nobody can sing the blues like he can.
If you're another broad on a trip, try the next station.
She give you a rough time? - Who? - The blonde? Take a walk.
That was some shiner you gave her.
What's it to you, lady? What the hell am I getting myself into here? All right, what is it? Some kind of setup? You might need a friend if she decides to press charges.
She was asking for it.
She got what she ordered.
What's the matter? Didn't she want to play cowboys and Indians? Wait a minute.
I was sitting here, minding my own business.
The hotel was her idea.
- Maybe she got cold feet.
- Yeah, she was cold all right.
Like ice.
And I'm telling you- she was looking to get belted.
The minute we got in that room, she started saying things, laughing at me.
It was like she had some kind of plan or something.
- What kind of plan? - I don't know.
But after I clipped her, she checked her face like she had to have something to show.
Then she thanked me.
- Thanked you? - Yeah, for getting the job done.
Have one on me.
And don't worry.
You won't be hearing from her again.
- I'm here to see Miss Vanowen.
- I'm afraid she's not seeing anyone, sir.
- She'll see me.
- I'm sorry, sir.
Is anything wrong? I can't say, sir.
Anna? Anna? What is it? Hmm? Hey.
Hey.
Oh, my God.
Oh, what happened? I fell.
On the stairs.
- Raymond? - No.
Damn him.
I thought I pushed him out of your life for good.
He'd kill me if he knew I saw you again.
- He'll kill you as well.
- Where is he? - What are you gonna do? - Just tell me where he is.
The club.
I have to meet him there with some money.
My first installment.
- Okay.
- Don't go.
Please.
Wait! - Yes.
- He wants the money tonight.
- What happened? - He just called.
He insisted I bring $10,000 as a first installment.
- Where? - The club.
He's on his way there now.
And so am I.
She's not coming, Merleau.
Laura, get back.
! Laura, are you all right? You've been set up.
Both of you.
I know you don't wanna believe that, but it's true.
This is exactly what Anna wants.
Just get down and stay quiet.
She wants you to kill Raymond.
That was her plan from the very beginning.
She told you Raymond beat her, didn't she? I never touched the woman.
Of course you didn't.
But she needed something that would drive you over the edge.
Something that would make you put Raymond out of the picture completely.
So she set up an unsuspecting cowboy at a western bar this afternoon and ridiculed him into hitting her.
That's persuasively put, young lady, but I'm afraid it doesn't change anything.
I've invested too much to allow either of you to walk away from this.
Go.
Go, go, go, go.
Darling.
You're alive.
You just had to see who came through that door, didn't you, hmm? Oh, darling, I was afraid he'd kill you.
I thought he had.
And you can claim self-defense.
I mean, after he shot me, he came after you.
What difference does it make? He's out of our lives.
No, Anna, no.
He'll always be with us.
- What are you saying? - You murdered him.
And unhappily for both of us, I can prove it.
You wouldn't send me away.
Not now, now that we've found each other again.
We could have had so much together.
Good-bye, Remington Steele.
Um a thank-you gift from Caroline.
I felt the urge to share it immediately.
How thoughtful.
Uh, actually, I felt the urge to see you.
Explain some things.
There's no need.
It might help put some things in perspective for us.
Uh, when I went to Anna's, it was for two reasons.
The first was to say that I had sent Raymond packing.
And the second, and more painful, was to say that I- I felt that we, uh, didn't have a future together.
She'll always be part of my past.
But I, uh, realized that's where that relationship belonged.
What made you realize that? You.
I'm not the same man I was when I walked into your life, Laura.
I've changed.
You've changed me.
I only changed your name.
Well, merely the most obvious alteration.
Ooh.
Well, what shall we drink to? Oh, um, uh, the present, eh? - The present? - Yes, and the future.
Isn't that getting a little brazen for us, Mr.
Steele? Oh- Let's be brazen, eh?