Superior Donuts (2017) s02e20 Episode Script

1 Franco, I just worked out a plan for your summer break from college.
Week one: we tear it up.
Week two: we bust it out.
Huh? Week three: we shut it down.
Week four: Chi-Town Strawberry Festival.
I can't do any of that, man.
I got to work, so I can pay for my next semester.
Who am I supposed to bust it out with? You were supposed to carry my berry basket.
Hey, I need Franco here.
Now, man up and carry your own basket.
Morning, everybody.
Wow.
Somebody had a growth spurt.
No, these are for my new gig.
I'm doing odd jobs for an old German lady up in Skokie.
She pays really well, and she makes a mean schnitzel.
Well, how does that suit you don't fit in fit in? Oh, uh, she likes me to walk around in her dead husband's clothes.
You serious? Sometimes she calls me Fritz.
That was his name.
And her kids call me Papa.
It's basically the creepiest job I've ever had.
Then why are you doing it? I need the money.
This gig economy's taking a toll on me.
I can't afford to turn anything down, and lately, I've been scraping the bottom of the barrel.
Oh, Tush, I'm so sorry.
Well, I got to hit the head.
It might take a while.
I'm wearing lederhosen under this.
Ugh.
I just hate seeing Tush degrading himself with these crazy gigs.
He needs to get a real job.
I'd hire him at the dry cleaners, - but we're closed for repairs.
- Don't you reopen next week? Fine.
You think of an excuse.
I guess I could hire him.
I got a few odd jobs piling up.
And that time when he stayed with me, he was really helpful.
He cooked, he cleaned.
When my date stood me up, he made me brownies and put on Magic Mike.
Oh, damn.
I got an e-mail from the school.
Well, you gave college a shot.
Don't be discouraged.
I'm sure you could sell some of your textbooks for drugs.
No, man, I-I made the dean's list.
Top ten percent of my class.
- (cheering) - ARTHUR: There you go! I am proud of you.
You've come a long way.
I got to text Tavi.
Tell my boo I made the dean's list.
His boo? Yesterday, she was his bae.
You think they're taking it to the next level? Don't know, don't care.
Oh, please! You know you're still pining for him.
You're the brown Rachel to his black Ross.
Hey, Tush, you want to maybe help me out a couple of days a week? Ever since I became a detective, I have no free time.
Yes, Randy.
Thank you.
That'd be very nice.
First, I have to finish my last job for Frau Schmidt.
- Sweatpants.
- Hmm? You work in a retirement home.
Any tips for giving an 80-year-old woman a sponge bath? The key is the towel.
The towel? Yeah, you-you tie it firmly around your eyes.
FRANCO: Hey, Professor Mills.
Guess who made the dean's list.
You and 261 other people.
But congratulations.
You worked hard and you deserve to be commended.
FRANCO: Hey, Tavi.
- Hey, Dean's List.
- (chuckles) - Mmm.
- MILLS: Octavia, you're involved with Mr.
Wicks? What a creative way to disappoint your parents.
I'm kidding.
She's disappointing us all.
Here's my application for the Ventura Fellowship.
Uh, what is that? That is the most prestigious art fellowship at Dearborn College.
Funded by a grant from Mr.
Frederick Ventura.
Fred "The Hammer" Ventura? The porn star? We all have a past, Mr.
Wicks.
Mr.
Ventura was generous enough to provide the winner with an opportunity to study for a semester in Florence.
Free apartment, all expenses paid.
Wha I want to do that.
Wh-Where do I sign up? Oh.
You want to apply? Hell yeah, I want to apply.
Free trip to Italy? I've been studying the great Italian painters in class, and it'd be so cool to see their work in person, you know? Michelangelo, Donatello, Raphael Those are the Ninja Turtles.
I-I just I just got that.
TAVI: The contest is pretty intense, Franco.
You're up against the top artists in school.
You think you're ready for that? I'm ready for anything, baby.
That fellowship would go so well in my résumé, all right? It can go right up between "Dean's List" and "Charges Dismissed.
" Maybe you should wait.
This contest is more for seniors and grad students.
She's correct.
No freshman has never won.
So I'd be the first? Huh? I'd be making history? Art history! (chuckles) You're not a high-fiver, are you? What do you think? Franco, I just I don't want to see you get discouraged.
(chuckling) (singsongy): I see what's going on.
Mm-hmm.
You're afraid of a little competition.
(chuckles): Oh.
Really? Well, if I run into any, I'll let you know.
I'll make an exception.
I'm still gonna do it.
Okay.
If you really want to do this, I got your back, 100%.
- All right.
Mmm.
- You know, I was supposed to be at a staff meeting, but watching you two jeopardize your relationship is far more entertaining than voting on homecoming themes.
We all know it's going to be Night of a Hundred Genders.
You were supposed to clean the men's room.
Hey, Fawz, would you text Franco a mop emoji and a poop emoji? Throw in a skull and crossbones it's bad in there! I'm sorry, man.
Tavi and I both entered this art contest, and they're about to announce the theme.
Theme of what? The art piece we have to submit.
It could be anything death, power.
Well, if it's "sitting on your ass while the toilet overflows" you're gonna nail it.
So, you're competing against your girlfriend? (singsongy): Plot twist.
Bad idea, kid.
Never compete against anyone you're sweet on.
Joanie and I used to lock horns over our dueling donut careers.
Donut career? Is that what you're calling this? You see, I always preferred, you know, the simple blue-collar donut.
But she always wanted to fill 'em with these fancy creams and jellies.
And your two most popular donuts are? Maple creme and jellies, but that's not the point.
Arthur, let them give it a try.
Sometimes it's good for a relationship to be tested.
(chuckles) Mm.
You know, to see how strong it is.
I should go.
Hey.
So, Arthur, once the theme gets announced, we have 24 hours to finish it.
So would it be cool if I took the rest of the day off? Oh, fine.
But, first, take care of that bathroom.
Yes! Look, I-I've never said this before snaking a toilet, but I love you, man.
Hey, Boss Lady.
I deposited your check, picked up your groceries, and if you open that manila folder, I need your Jane Hancock.
Uh, okay.
Uh, what am I signing? It authorizes me to purchase more manila folders.
What's my schedule for the weekend? Well, what time would you like to have that brunch with Lisa? I don't want to have brunch with Lisa.
That's why I canceled it.
Nice.
I could get used to this.
Hey, Randy, I was wondering Just a second, Fawz.
Are you in for Fawz? You know what, I'm busy.
I don't have her right now.
Why don't you leave a number, we'll call you back.
Okay, so they just sent me the theme.
- What is it? - It's struggle, which is perfect for me, man.
They might as well just give me the plane tickets now.
- Plane tickets? - Yeah.
The winner spends the summer in Florence.
- Like in Italy? - Mm-hmm.
Three months of mobsters, pizza, and fat dudes talking with their hands.
Throw in fat women talking with their hands and you'll be back in Chicago.
Yo, so, Arthur, uh, if I win, would it be cool if I took the summer off? Yeah, of course.
It's a great opportunity.
Take it.
Thanks.
(groans) My back.
- You okay? - Oh! Yeah.
Uh, uh, just a twinge.
- A-Are you sure? - Yeah, I'm fine.
Go on.
You only got 24 hours to finish that painting.
I can handle the shop.
(grunts) - Oh, yeah? - Mm-hmm.
Okay.
Pick up that tray.
Hey, since when do you give me orders? I tell you to pick up things.
(strained): Now pick me up and put me in that chair.
(sniffing) Damn it! (sighs) Arthur, yo, just go home, man.
No, no, no.
I have a system.
- Coffee to go, please.
- ARTHUR: Sweatpants! (sighs heavily) One piping hot coffee to go.
Yes, sir.
Only the best cup of joe in Uptown.
Yeah.
Comin' at ya.
I said decaf, right? Sweatpants! - I got it.
- Arthur, I can't be wheeling some old dude around all day.
I have to get back to my job.
At the nursing home.
Here.
Thank you.
- So, how's your painting coming? - Not great.
Now I know why Michelangelo didn't work at a Dunkin' Donuts.
Tavi was right, dude.
This is tough.
I had all these ideas all in my head, - but it's hard to lay 'em all down.
- Relax, relax.
I'm sure everyone's having a hard time.
FRANCO: Hey, bae.
- What you doing here? - I finished my painting, so I thought I'd bring you a pastrami sandwich.
Wait, you finished? Wait, pastrami? I mean, I'll take one more look at it, but I'm basically done.
- How about you? - Well, it's kind of hard to run a donut shop and finish a painting, so Yeah, Franco's got a lot on his plate, unlike some of us.
Take the sandwich.
You know what, why don't you let me take a look at your painting? Nah.
Nah, n-not right now.
It's not ready yet.
Maybe I could give you some fresh eyes.
Okay.
All right, come take a look.
Mustard? TAVI: In the bag! So, uh, just give me your honest opinion, and don't hold back.
- Well - You hate it! I knew it.
- Why'd you even come back here? - No.
I was just gonna say there's a lot that I like about it.
And it's gonna be great.
- You think so? - Yes.
I just have a couple of thoughts.
- So, the piece is about struggle, right? - Yeah.
Well, I think there might be a little bit too much struggle going on in this corner.
ARTHUR: Franco? What?! We're out of Long Johns.
(sighs) Okay.
I-I can't, I can't do it.
- I-I can't, I can't do this, man.
- Babe.
- You're so stressed right now.
- Mm-hmm.
You know, there's no reason that you can't wait and, you know, go for the fellowship next year.
So, what, now you think I can't do this? - So much for having my back.
- (scoffs) You know, that Tavi, such a sweet kid, coming over here to check on her beau.
Or is it boo? Oh, you get defensive every time I try to help you.
Is it always gonna be like this? I don't even need your help because I know more about struggle than you ever will.
TAVI: Oh, I know all about struggle, Franco, because I'm going out with you.
Ooh! No, uh, the mustard is very spicy.
SOFIA: Hey, Franco.
How's the painting? It's finished.
With 42 minutes to spare.
I think it's pretty good.
Take that, Tavi! Aren't there other people in the contest besides Tavi? Yeah, but Tavi's very important to me, and I would like to see her go down in flames.
Well, sounds like something's going on between Franco and Tavi.
Hmm.
Wouldn't you like to know? Oh, you don't know anything.
Unless you do.
Do you? Girlfriend, let me tell you.
(cries out) Anyone want to hire an annoying personal assistant? What? I thought Tush was doing a good job.
He's too good.
He called Lisa, that woman I hate, and tried to work it out with her.
So now I got to have lunch with that bitch.
Well, sounds like you and Tush really need to work it out.
Tell me everything you know about Franco and Tavi.
Well, as you know, Arthur predicted trouble, and, boy, was he right.
ARTHUR: Well, that back doctor was of no help.
- What'd he say? - He couldn't find anything.
Gave me some painkillers, but they didn't have any effect on me at all.
Where's the coatrack? Joanie moved it.
In 1987.
Well, remind me to tell her to move it back.
Okay, Fawz, spill it.
Franco, Tavi, go! Buckle your seat belt, sister.
Hey, Chief.
Damn it! I took the liberty of changing your e-mail address.
You were getting too much spam.
So, I wrote down your new password right here.
- What is it? - It's "R", seven, dot the word "dot", not a dot dot followed by a dot dot, then an umlaut, then hashtag, then the word "password".
All right, wish me luck.
Oh, by the way, I mixed the chocolate up with the brown paint, so nobody eat the Long Johns.
Did I ever tell you guys about my idea to open a donut shop? Can I have your attention, please? Ladies and gentlemen (clears throat) And Chris.
It's time to announce the winner of this year's Ventura Fellowship.
And on behalf of the Dearborn Art Department, I'd like to say does anyone else smell chocolate? It's called mixed media.
Let's keep moving.
Very well.
The Ventura Fellowship goes to Franco.
(whispers): Yes.
Your painting is blocking the winner.
Which is Octavia St.
Claire.
(applause) Mr.
Wicks, you look disappointed.
I am disappointed, man.
Did you not see my painting? It's got struggle all over it.
It's got a building on fire, somebody getting arrested, the Chicago Bears.
(scoffs) Classic rookie mistake.
Tavi had the training to take a single idea and execute it exquisitely.
Her piece is crystallized.
- It's distilled.
- I get it.
She's better than me.
You're not untalented, Mr.
Wicks.
You just lack the experience to compete at this level.
I believe someone tried to warn you about that.
Yeah, she did.
I meant me.
But yes, Tavi did, too.
And you let your ego get the best of you.
- I don't have an ego.
- Really? Then why haven't you congratulated her? It's not easy being in a relationship with a fellow artist.
All right, well, thank you, Professor.
Appreciate it.
But did I at least come in second place? Sure.
Hey, Tavi.
I just want to congratulate you on your piece.
- Um, you deserve it.
- Thanks.
I'm-I'm sorry I've been such a dick to you.
But I-I've been so stressed out with work, school.
But that's no excuse to Look, I just had a really nice moment.
Can we not do this right now? My friends are waiting for me.
All right.
Have fun.
Mr.
Wicks, could you get your painting out of here? It's covered in flies.
Oh, oh, oh, oh.
Arthur, your-your back is still hurting.
Why don't you take those painkillers? People told me it was making me loopy.
Well, not me directly.
I heard Abraham Lincoln talking to Bing Crosby.
Morning, Commander.
The new folders are in.
Three-tab.
Oh, goody.
Oh, I got you a Bumble account.
You have a date on Thursday with a very handsome lawyer.
He has children, but I assured him that would not be a deal breaker.
What's wrong? This brave can tell when the big chief has a problem.
Well, yeah.
There is something kind of painful I need to do.
Really? That's what you pay me for.
Let me do it.
Okay.
I need you to fire my assistant.
I see.
Was he not working hard enough? Oh, no, he worked too hard.
And only because he has a big heart and he's caring and organized.
And frankly, I think his talents are wasted on me.
Well, um, he understands, and he thanks you for the opportunity.
And he will never forget how you gave him his confidence back.
(voice breaking): You turned a shell of a man into a hell of a man.
So you're not mad? No.
Actually, I've been thinking I'm ready for something more, like a full-time job.
I'm talking 9:00 to 2:00.
Well, you know, whatever you do, I'm sure you'll be great at it.
Thanks.
(groans) Oh one more thing.
Your ex-assistant wanted me to tell you that he put a small dent in your car.
What? It's okay, he's gonna pay for it out of his severance package, which was very generous.
(clicks tongue) SWEATPANTS: I know that face.
That's your "I didn't win" face.
Yep.
No Florence for me.
Oh, you lost the contest.
I'm sorry.
FRANCO: Yep.
I think I lost my girlfriend, too.
What? Oh Oh, no.
I'm-I'm so sorry.
You had a rough week, kid.
Why don't you take tomorrow off and do something fun with Sweatpants.
Might as well.
Probably gonna end up spending the rest of my life with him.
Yes! Well, I guess I better get those crullers started for the Fenderman bris.
RANDY: Look at that.
Quasimodo stands.
My back is feeling better.
(chuckling): How about that.
Well, well, well If you're here to win Franco back, don't bother.
He doesn't want to talk to you.
- Franco, can we talk? - Yeah, let's go outside.
(sighs) I've been doing a lot of thinking.
Me, too.
If I'm being honest, I'm starting to think our relationship's Come to Florence with me.
Really? I know we have problems, but there's a lot that works about us, too.
If I could just get you away from all this stress, we could focus on us.
I don't want to be mooching off you.
They're giving me a stipend, which I don't need, so really, you'd be mooching off the school.
I like the sound of that.
It's so sad when people break up.
Then maybe you should stop smiling.
I can't believe how great my back feels.
Well, I can.
What are you talking about? Well, Franco said that he was leaving, and you got all knotted up.
Then he said he was staying, and the pain went away.
It's psychosomatic.
Who do you think you are, Oprah? You're not even Gayle.
Oh, my God.
Guess what Tavi and I are going to Florence.
- What?! - No! Aah Something wrong with your back? Oh, shut up.