The Proud Family (2001) s02e20 Episode Script

(Oscar)
Trudy, Trudy!
Bebe, Cece, get down here!
Oscar, what are
you yelling about?
Daddy. It's 3:30 in the morning.
I got to go to school.
So what?
You can sleep in class.
Yeah, that's what your daddy
did, and look how he turned out.
Suga Mama, what are
you doing here?
I was sleeping up in my bedroom.
Bedroom? You don't have a bedroom.
Trudy, would you
Oscar, why are we down here?
I've asked you down here to witness
the very first Proud Snax infomercial.
Daddy, shouldn't you have
the infomercial on
when people are actually awake
to see it?
Do you know how much air time costs
when people are awake?
Besides, my research shows
this is the time of night
when gluttonous people wake up
for their second midnight snack.
Hey, Trudy, you got anything
in this kitchen
beside these nasty
Proud Snax?
My point proven.
All right, you guys,
here it comes. Shh.
Hi. I'm Oscar Proud,
President, CEO, and CFO
of Proud Snax Incorporated,
a division of the Proud Snax
empire.
Our slogan is,
"One swallow will make
your taste buds holler."
So if you want your taste buds
to sing,
just give me a ring
at 555-0100.
That's 555-0100.
Our operators are standing by.
Se habla Espanol.
(loud crash
and monkey screeching)
So what do you think?
Why would you use
our home phone number?
That wasn't our home phone.
That was my office
(phone ringing)
Okay, it was
my home phone number.
-Hello.
-Hey, snack dude. I tried your snacks.
They're nasty.
I'm choking on one right now.
(coughing)
I'm about to sue you.
Mama!
Oops, got to go.
And you'll be hearing from my attorney.
Do you enjoy the power
of telekinesis?
Yes, the power to move objects
with just a thought.
Look, everybody!
It's Auntie Spice.
Look, Suga Mama,
it's your big sister.
Yeah, yeah, I've seen
her before.
It's the incredible power
of the mind over matter
that is waiting
to be unleashed.
Entertain yourself
and your friends
when you learn to use the power
of the mind
with my telekinesis Mind Blower
starter kit.
This kit can be yours
for $19.95
or 20 easy payments
of $10.95.
Call now.
Our mind-blowing operators are
standing by to take your call.
This will be the last time
you'll ever have to use your hands
to make a phone call.
Let me, Sista Spice,
blow your mind.
(Man) Sista Spice will be appearing
this Friday at the historic Wiz Arena.
Oh, she's going to be
in town Friday.
Suga Mama, aren't
you excited?
Yeah, and I just
can't hide it.
The Proud Family ♪
What? You and me
will always be tight ♪
Family, every single day
and night ♪
Even when you start
acting like a fool ♪
You know I'm loving
every single thing you do ♪
I know that I can
always be myself ♪
I love you more
than anybody else ♪
And every day
as I'm heading off to school ♪
You know there's no one
I love as much as you ♪
Family, a family ♪
Proud Family ♪
They'll make you scream ♪
-(doorbell rings)
-They make you want to sing ♪
It's a family thing,
a family ♪
Proud, Proud Family ♪
Proud Family ♪
They'll push your buttons ♪
And make you want
to hug them ♪
Family, a family,
Proud, Proud Family. ♪
Yowch!
This is the best
yearbook ever.
Guess who was voted "the
prettiest, most popular"
and "best dressed"?
The same one voted
"biggest head"?
Hey, check it out.
I was voted "funniest."
And "most likely to receive
a restraining order."
I was voted
"most fashionable." Hey!
Oh, "most likely to succeed."
What about you, Zoey?
I wasn't voted anything.
You're joking.
Not even "nerdiest, weirdest,"
or "goofiest"?
Wait, hold up,
Zoey.
I don't even see
your picture in here.
I should be right after
(gasps)
They've got another picture
of LaCienega
where I should be!
So technically, that makes
you the prettiest, too.
Not!
(laughing)
It's like I don't even exist.
There's nothing special
about me.
That's not true, Zoey.
You are special.
No, I'm not.
What's special about me?
Name one thing.
Well, uh you're
you're the tallest.
Not since the Williams sisters
transferred in.
(thundering footsteps)
I can't stand them.
Well, you're certainly
the most bitter.
I'm not bitter.
I'm invisible.
And I'm angry!
No one even cares
I'm here!
Hey, check out
the cool car, y'all.
(excited shouting)
Yep, they see right through me.
Penny, whose whip is this?
You kids, get away from
Sista Spice's car. Shaza.
Auntie Spice is here?
Yes, I am, dear girl.
Come here, Penny.
Come on over here
and give your aunt a hug.
So, who are these
nice young people?
LaCienega.
I'm Dijonay.
Sticky man.
I'm Michael.
I'm a big fan.
I watch all of
your infomercials.
You over there.
Come here. What's your name?
Nobody.
Her name is Zoey.
It's a pleasure
to meet you, Zoey.
Uh, Miss Spice, my daddy says
that you're a con woman.
That you trick people.
That you a straight up fake.
Oh, I wouldn't have
said that if I were you.
Well, is this fake?
Ho, ho.
(screaming)
Put me down!
Put me down!
Pudgy just got played.
(Man) I just want to tell you
them Proud Snax
are the best danged snacks
I've ever ate.
Thank you for your kind words, sir.
What's your favorite flavor?
It don't matter, really.
The hogs just like them all.
Suu-ee!
-Suu
-Mama!
Well, I can't help it, son.
(laughing)
Well, if it's not
my favorite nephew
and my least favorite
baby sister.
I thought I smelled
some Old Spice.
It's a wonder you can
smell anything
with that bush growing
out of your nose. (laughing)
Aunt Spice, I missed
you so much!
You have no idea,
she's been so mean to me.
Don't worry, baby, I'm here.
Well, if it isn't Aunt Spice.
Trudy, you look
more beautiful than ever.
Where are the twins?
(Both)
Whee! (giggling)
Oh, aren't they gorgeous?
Sista, Sista Spice,
we really rollin' late. Shaza.
Who the heck is Shaza?
Everyone, this is
my assistant Shaza.
Shaza!
Where're your bags,
Aunt Spice?
In the car.
I'll go get 'em.
That won't be necessary.
I got hotel reservations.
Where? The Back Seat
of Your Car Motor Lodge?
And where are you
sleeping, Shazam, the trunk?
Mama, stop hating.
Look, ain't no way my favorite aunt
is staying in a hotel.
You'll stay right here.
Thank you, nephew,
but I don't want to put you out.
Oh, you won't be
putting me out.
It's Suga Mama.
You can have her room.
Well, where am I going to stay?
Where you're supposed to
at your house.
So what do you say, Aunt Spice?
Only if you let me
earn my keep.
Deal. So, it's in with the Spice
and out with the not so nice.
Guess which one you are,
Suga Mama?
That's okay. I don't stay
anywhere I'm not wanted.
Come on, Puff.
Hey, wait a minute.
Your house is the other way.
Aunt Spice, could you please demonstrate
some of your great powers for me?
Put me down, you witch!
Put me down!
Oh, you better watch
your back, Oscar.
She ain't gonna be
around here forever.
-I'm gonna get you!
-(laughing)
Trudy, don't make me do this.
Suga Mama said she's going to get me.
She should get you
for what you said to her.
You're my wife.
-You should be on my side.
-Uh-uh. Not when you're wrong, Oscar.
You really hurt her feelings.
She doesn't have any feelings.
Or a neck.
She nothing but head
and shoulders.
What you do to Ma, dawg?
She came home really hot.
I didn't do
anything to her.
Look at this, Trudy.
A thousand family photos
and not one of me.
Here's one, dawg.
When you missed the winning shot
against the Wizard's team
in the State Championship.
You were cryin' like a baby.
Waa, waa, way. ♪
Come on, Trudy,
let's get out of here.
-(loud thuds)
-What's that noise?
That's Ma working out
on the heavy bag.
She says she's gonna knock you out.
Hey, Ma, Oscar is here.
(Suga Mama) Oscar?
(screaming)
Trudy!
Suga Mama, no.
Trudy, unless you want
to go into orbit with Oscar,
you better get out of the way.
Suga Mama, listen to what
Oscar has to say.
Oh, I know what he's
about to say
"Ouch, ouch, ouchie, ooh,
don't-don't hit me, Mommy."
Oscar, talk to your mama.
Please don't hit me! Please!
Oh, be a man.
I wasn't gonna hit you.
Now move aside, Trudy,
so I can give my baby some love.
Don't do it, Trudy.
It's a trick.
Stop it, Oscar.
Just stop it.
Suga Mama is not
going to hurt you.
Suga Mama, what's going on
between you two?
Why can't you get along?
You married him, Trudy.
You know better than I do.
Not Oscar.
I'm talking about
you and your sister.
Ask her, don't ask me.
I did.
She said you were
just jealous because
she got the beauty
and the power.
Jealous?! I'm not jealous!
I'm fed up.
Ever since we were
little kids,
all anybody cared about was Spice.
"She's so special."
All because she can
move things around.
She's not special.
She's a doggone freak.
But she's your sister.
Not according to my parents.
All they paid attention to was her.
They didn't even
know I existed.
Kind of like
how you treat Oscar?
No, I don't see
that at all.
Bobby, here, baby.
Your nose
is running.
Thanks, Ma.
Look, all I'm saying is
Oscar and Bobby are at least friends.
I don't see why you and your sister
can't be the same.
Spice ain't nice
like my boys.
You can't turn your back on her.
Uh-uh, she's evil.
Wh-where am I?
What happened?
(screaming)
Where's my stubborn sister?
She's not coming.
I told you she wouldn't.
She's a mean old bat.
Oh, well. On with the show.
Shaza, lights please.
Shaza!
Not only do I possess the power
of mind over matter,
I have the ability to release
that power in others.
I have made it my mission in life
at the sacrifice
of fame and fortune
to help others find the power
within them.
Who would like to discover
their powers within?
Me! Me! Pick me!
-Yeah!
-You.
-Her?
-Me?
Yes, you.
Come, child, and receive the gift
you've been harboring all your life.
The only power I have
is the power of invisibility.
Nobody notices me.
Well, I noticed you, didn't I?
Your name?
Zoey.
Zoey, my dear,
you have something special.
And if you follow my instructions,
I will help you discover it.
Sure you will.
I'll prove it to you.
We're gonna start
with something small.
Young man, stand up please.
No, no.
You're not going to get me again.
I need a volunteer.
Don't worry,
no harm will come to you.
Ooh, I'll volunteer Auntie Spice.
Oh, thank you, Penny.
Stand right here.
Now, Zoey, I want you to concentrate.
I want you to focus
all your thoughts on Penny.
Imagine her floating in the air.
(groans)
Are you concentrating, Zoey?
Yes, I'm concentrating.
I told you I couldn't do it.
Now the first thing
I want you to do, Zoey,
is remove "can't"
from your vocabulary.
I can't do
-Do it!
-Okay, okay.
Now what I'm about to give you
is a brain activator.
It looks like a rock.
Stay with me, Zoey.
It's much more than that.
Now focus on Penny again.
(groans)
See? I told you I can't
I can do it!
Zoey, stop it.
Put me down.
(yells)
Oh, my bad, Penny.
I have the power!
I can do it!
I told you you did.
It was always inside you.
-How do I get one of those rocks?
-Where can I get a rock?
I got to have the rock.
Don't worry, you can all
purchase my mind-blowing kit
which includes
one brain activator
at my upcoming Mind Benders Fair.
Okay, everybody, dinner's ready.
(cheering)
Auntie, your show
is going to sell out.
Oh, maybe, Nephew.
Unfortunately, I don't have a venue.
Wizard Kelly bumped me
from the Wiz Arena
for a Sir Paid-A-Lot concert.
Ha! You are about to be paid a lot, too.
You can throw a tent up in
the Proud Snax parking lot.
You would do that?
Yes.
You're my favorite aunt.
Well, I'd feel better
if we did this
on a business level
rather than charity.
What if I gave you
ten percent of the gate?
Ten percent?
And for that, you will cover
all advertising, security
and a small appearance
fee for me.
But we'll talk about that later.
Do we have a deal?
I can't believe
you said that to me.
No one's ever said
those words to me.
Of course
we have a deal.
You'll never regret
this, Aunt Spice.
Why couldn't you
have been my mother?
Trudy! I got good news.
We're about
to get rich.
I knew pretending to like that boob
would pay off one day.
(laughs)
Shaza!
Come see the great Sista Spice.
Discover the power within.
Yo, you Zoey?
Do I look like a Zoey to you?
I'm Zoey.
Yo, kid.
I heard you could move things.
Can you show me
how you do it?
Well not really.
Oh, come on.
Just move this baseball.
I don't want to.
Just like I thought.
You ain't nothing but a fake.
(gasps)
She's not a fake.
Why don't you just leave her alone?
What you gonna do about it?
I know you better
get up out of my face.
(over PA) Let Sista Spice help you
unleash the power within.
Come to my Mind Benders Fair
tonight.
In the fabulous Proud Snax parking lot.
Look for the tent,
if you want your mind bent.
Shaza!
Penny, what's going on over there?
I told you, no boys!
But he called Zoey a fake.
She is a fake.
Oscar, I'll take it from here.
Zoey, hold on to this.
Now focus.
Put me down.
Put me down.
(thuds)
(laughing)
Tell your parents
come see the show
so you, too, can unlock
the power within.
-Wow.
-That was dope.
That'll be five
dollars a person
and $20 for parking.
Thank you very much.
And enjoy the show.
One of our trustworthy,
bonded valets will park your car.
Chips, old boy,
if you can kindly
park this car in Section B please.
(screeches)
(crash)
All right, that yeah.
That's, that's good.
Just-just leave it right there.
Right. Next!
How's it going, baby?
Oh, it couldn't be better, Trudy. Look at
all those cars we parked over there.
Is your mother here?
Said it couldn't be better.
Oscar, you said
you were going to invite her.
Well, I did.
I invited her to come down
and put on a red coat.
I wish she'd hurry up.
-I'm down to my last three monkeys.
-Oscar
Trudy, I invited her.
There's nothing I'd want more
than for Suga Mama to see me
in my shining moment,
my one time on top.
The whole town
must be here.
I wonder what kind of biz
the Wiz is doing?
(Announcer)
Give it up for Sir Paid-A-Lot!
My dawgs! Uh-huh.
(crickets chirping)
Yo, Wiz,
what's the deal, dawg?
Thought I was sold out, dawg?
The Wizard is baffled himself,
Sir Paid-A-Lot.
Looks like you might not
get paid at all.
Yo, I don't play that, Wiz.
Don't make me slap you sideways.
Don't make me go Matrix
on you, dawg.
Violence is not necessary.
The Wizard is going to get to
the bottom of this fast, y'all.
The Wizard's ice cream balls
aren't bouncing out the store, y'all.
Neither are my addictively
glazed donut balls.
Something is seriously amiss.
A Halle Berry movie is playing
and not a soul is here.
Suga Mama,
what you doing here?
Trying to watch the movie,
if you shut up.
Where is everybody?
Haven't you read
the flyers, dog? ♪
The only thing the Wizard reads
are checks made out to the Wizard.
Well, you better read this flyer
'cause that's where everybody is.
Ooh, ooh, oh, my.
We must put a stop to this.
Quick, to the Wizard's
private airplane, y'all.
What for, Wizard? The Proud Snax factory
is only three blocks away.
The only place the Wizard walks to
is the bank.
Wee!
(cheering)
Wasn't she great?
So, Zoey, how do you feel?
I feel fantastic!
I finally feel unique.
You can't make up
a testimonial like that.
She feels special.
Does anyone else out there
want to tap into the power within
and feel special?
-(cheering)
-Do I have another volunteer?
-That'd be me.
-(gasps)
I'm sorry to tell you people,
but y'all have been tricked,
hoodwinked, bamboozled,
led askew with hot sauce.
In other words,
Sista Spice ain't so nice, y'all.
I never thought I'd
utter these words,
but listen to the Wizard.
Mama, what are you doing?
Trying to protect you, son.
I can handle this, Oscar.
Are you doubting the powers
of Sista Spice, Brother Wiz?
No, I don't.
But I do doubt the powers
of little Suzie over there.
That's Zoey!
Whatever.
I'm willing to wager one million
Wizard dollars that little Suzie
Zoey!
little Suzie can't even lift
this orange basketball.
You got yourself a bet.
Zoey, you can do it.
Just focus.
Uh, not so fast.
Sister Sledge, you've got to go.
Suzie's flying solo, y'all.
Okay, have it your way.
Remember, Zoey,
take your time and focus.
What about the brain activator?
(laughs)
-Shaza, are you ready to go?
-Yeah, mon.
And I got one more bundle to get.
What me think this the biggest
payday we ever had. Shaza!
I told you this town was a gold mine.
Now hurry up. They should be
figuring out Zoey's a zero.
(groaning)
(booing)
(yelling)
Hurry up! I think they've caught on.
Well, don't just
stand there, woman.
Help Shaza.
I'm sorry, Spice, but I'm not
going to let you rip off my son.
Uh-uh, not today.
What do you care?
You don't even like him.
Doesn't mean I wouldn't protect him
from the likes of you.
I thought he was your favorite nephew.
If I don't like you,
why would I like your son?
Now step aside, baby sister.
I got to get my show on the road.
I'm sorry, but I can't do that.
Then you must feel my power.
(screams)
Put me down!
Put me down!
Oh, I'll put you down all right.
(screams)
(screaming)
Shaza!
Are you ready to cooperate?
Yeah! Yeah!
(cries)
I'll do whatever you want.
Whatever you want.
(crowd booing)
Suga Mama, have you
seen Aunt Spice?
-The crowd is going crazy.
-She's gone.
Gone?!
What did you do,
chase her away?
You just couldn't stand the fact
that somebody liked me, huh?
Ow!
She never liked you, boy.
She just used you.
While you were onstage
holding the bag,
I caught her and Shamu
stealing the box office.
-(whistles)
-(horn blows)
Look, Mama, the monkey's got
our money. Let's get him!
Quiet, boy, he's working for me.
Now you can give these people
back their money
and go home in one piece.
You do like me, Mama.
You really like me.
Well, sometimes
I like you.
But I always love you.
Remember that.
Aw
Zoey, Zoey,
did you see the paper?
You're on the
front page, girl.
Yeah. Isn't it great?
I've been signing autographs
all day.
People finally notice me.
Hey, you're that girl
that's a crook.
Yep, that's me.
You want an autograph?