The Twilight Zone (1959) s02e20 Episode Script
Static
You're traveling through another dimension a dimension not only of sight and sound, but of mind a journey into a wondrous land whose boundaries are that of imagination.
That's the signpost up ahead.
Your next stop, the twilight zone.
All right, lance, move away from the bar.
I've had all i can take of you.
Whatever you say, father.
When you were a boy, you hated your brother your move, professor.
How's that? It's your move.
Oh, yes, of course.
You are filled with hatred, lance that's my piece, you're black.
Rebellion of youth oh, yes, yes.
You're a man.
You're going to have to face up to very good, very good job.
Green, green cool grass.
The touch, the smell of green, cool grass.
Now, brought to you for the first time in green, the new chlorophyll cigarette.
The smoke that doesn't smell like tobacco but smells good- green, cool like grass.
Yes, green is brought to you what's the matter with you, professor? What's the matter with all you people? Are you hypnotized or something? Going out of your blessed minds? If you don't care for our program, mr.
Lindsay you can request a different channel.
What difference does that make, what channel you got? The new chlorophyll cigarette can make that statement.
And it's 54, termite jones termite jones, my hero termite jones.
He makes it, you the prettiest song in the world.
Isn't that wonderful? Just ruining it, completely ruining a beautiful song ? ho, ho, ho, you and me? ? little brown jug, how i love thee? ? ho, ho, ho, you and me? If you act now, you can get your acreage in splendor flats for the fantastically unbelievable price of 25 cents an acre a week.
Just look at this land, folks.
It's flat, it's gray, it's undeveloped, but it's undeveloped, but it will be a veritable oasis a verit an oasis, yes.
Only green, the new green oh, yes, let's all roll in the grass the green, cool hills of grass.
to take your call, folks.
Hey, mr.
Lindsay, what's that? That's a radio, boy.
Yeah, what's it do? Don't you know what a radio is, boy? Well, sure, but i've never seen one like that before.
No one ever saw one quite like that.
Because that's a very special sort of radio.
In its day, circa 1935 its type was one of the most elegant consoles on the market.
Now, with its fabric-covered speakers its peculiar yellow dial, its serrated knobs it looks quaint and a little strange.
Mr.
Ed lindsay is going to find out how strange very soon when he tunes in to the twilight zone.
Careful of that door.
That's it.
We're going to take it up these steps here, boy.
Well, what do you got there, ed? What's it look like? A radio.
Now let's put it down here.
Put it down, boy.
I remember that.
I thought you'd thrown it out years ago.
I never throw anything away that's worth keeping.
Need any help, ed? Oh, no, no, no.
I wouldn't, i wouldn't want to disturb you, professor.
Pick it up by the legs, boy.
That's it.
Now, careful.
Take it right.
That's it.
That's it, boy.
Right up here.
That's it, boy.
Got to plug it in here.
Think it still works? Sure.
Course it works.
They made things to last in those days.
That's pretty wonderful, all right.
Go buy yourself a switchblade.
And so, ladies and gentlemen with the strains of "getting sentimental over you" tommy dorsey and his orchestra bid you all a very pleasant good night direct from the princeton campus in a broadcast of the summer swing festival and listen to that applause.
But before we sign off, we invite you to stay tuned for major bowes and his famous amateur hour.
This is station wpda in cedarburg, new jersey returning you to good evening, friends.
Once again, the wheel of chance or faith, as you please, is about to revolve.
And as the barker standing at the wheel of fortune says, "around, around she goes "and where she stops, nobody knows.
" Now, does anybody know what will happen when these young people well, what do you want? I just thought you'd like to know that dinner's ready.
I ain't hungry.
You know how mrs.
Nielson feels about oh, all right, all right, all right.
Ever since i can remember, women have been running my life.
Now do this, do that, come to dinner, don't come to dinner frankly, mr.
Lindsay, i don't care whether you starve to death.
I just want to make sure that it's on purpose and not because you'd forgotten that food is available.
I'm not that old yet.
Mr.
Lindsay.
What? You're humming at table.
What was that, anyway? What? That melody, it went, um it's called "i'm getting sentimental over you.
" I heard it on the radio this afternoon.
That's an old tune, isn't it? Yeah, tommy dorsey, they- playing it direct from the direct? Tommy dorsey's dead.
You don't say.
Yeah, he died a few years ago.
What about major bowes? Who? Major bowes.
Never heard of him.
No, you wouldn't.
Well, he's dead, too.
I heard both major bowes and tommy dorsey this afternoon on the radio.
Couldn't be.
Couldn't be? How is it a man with such a tiny brain could have such a big mouth? Now, wait just a minute now, please, mr.
Bragg i think what mr.
Lindsay means or what he's trying to say is that a local radio station was broadcasting recordings of some of the old programs.
They didn't have tape back in those days.
No, but they did have wire, and before that, disks.
I'll tell you what else they had- good music, hmm, professor? Plays that meant something, magic, real magic i doubt it.
You doubt it.
Mr.
Bragg doubts it.
Mr.
Bragg, who watches television until his brain turns into oatmeal and his eyes roll down his face into his beer- mr.
Bragg, the modern man, doubts it.
Well, i'll show you, i'll show you.
Where's that portable radio? Really, mr.
Lindsay where is that portable radio? In the kitchen.
Now, that guy's nuts, that's all.
He's nuts.
Oh, miss brown, you can thank your lucky stars you never married that man.
Now, mr.
Bragg, we'll show you.
We'll just prove it, right here, right in here.
Well, it was right in here.
I'm sorry, i can't wait.
Gunfireis on in exactly four minutes.
Gunfire, we can't miss that.
Ed, remember what station it was? The station? No, i, i yes, yes, you know, the announcer said something about station wpda, that it what can you expect on a dinky little radio like this, hmm? Why don't you come up to my room? Listen to it on a real radio.
Come on.
Come on, professor.
Let's go up, vinnie.
I'd like to hear that program.
Well, it certainly is a handsome thing.
Can't seem to get it.
Maybe they're having transmitting trouble.
Why don't we phone the station? That's a good idea.
That's an excellent idea.
Let's get hold of information and find out here, ed.
Thank you, professor.
Information, would you please give me the number of wpda? That's a radio station.
Wpda, yes, yes.
Heard major bowes.
You remember major bowes, hmm? "Round and round she goes, and and where she stops" uh, uh, yes yes.
Oh? Oh.
Well, what'd she say? Oh, the operator said according to her supervisor that wpda had been out of business for 13 years.
Well, maybe you had some other state or even another country.
This thing has shortwave, doesn't it? Uh, but the announcer said, uh, cedarburg, cedarburg maybe it's it isn't listed in the radio section.
I heard it.
I heard it, i know i did.
Professor, is it so impossible? Impossible? Well, that's a dangerous sort of a word to use nowadays, vinnie.
We take things for granted today that we called impossible just a few years ago.
Let's call it highly unlikely.
Then what did i hear? I don't know, ed.
Ed professor do you really think he heard those programs? Well, vinnie i believe he thinks he did.
Now, we take you directly to the white house in washington, dc, for an address by the president of the united states, franklin delano roosevelt.
Since my annual message to the congress on january 4 last i have not addressed the general public over the air.
In the many weeks since that time, the congress has devoted its professor! Professor! Vinnie! Vinnie! I've got it.
I've really got it.
Come quick.
Quick.
Why bother? You won't hear nothing but static.
Oh, professor, don't encourage that poor man.
Yeah, but oh, he's gone completely psychological.
Oh, my.
Well, i'm sorry, i've lost it.
It was tommy dorsey.
He was playing "i'm getting sentimental over you.
" It was soft and slow, real pretty.
But i've lost it.
Why do i lose it every time somebody else comes around? Why, professor? Well, you just keep on trying, ed.
We're bound to hear it eventually.
Sure, sure we're, we're bound to bound to hear it.
What do you want? Oh, nothing, ed.
I just thought we might talk.
Do you mind? No, talk away, just don't come too close.
I might start climbing the walls barking like a dog.
That's what you all think.
"Poor old ed, he's gone ding-dong.
" No, that's not what i think.
If you'll sit down and be quiet i'll tell you what i think.
Sure, i'll i'll sit.
Right now, ed lindsay you're just about the meanest, sourest most cantankerous old man on the face of the earth.
Thanks.
And i'm not much better.
We've been living like two hermits under the same roof for the last 20 years.
Staring at each other every morning day in, day out wondering what went wrong.
I don't know what you're talking about oh, yes, you do.
You know exactly what i'm talking about but you won't admit it.
We were going to be married oh, for heaven's sake don't get your back up.
I'm not trying to change anything.
I'm just talking.
We met in this boarding house in 1940.
And it was here that you proposed.
I wanted to set the date but your mother was ill, you remember and so you decided to wait.
And that's just what we did.
We waited and waited until, by the time your mother died it was too late.
Vinnie, i'm not going to listen to don't interrupt me.
I've got to get this thing said.
Oh, i know you don't care anything about me now.
I'm just a silly woman who watches television dyes her hair, grows old.
You don't even like me anymore.
And i don't blame you.
You're a bachelor set in your ways.
You can't change what you are and neither can i.
We had our chance and missed it, ed.
But i'll tell you one thing that's true and i know it's true.
You did love me as much as a man ever loved a woman.
Didn't you? Yes, vinnie.
That's true.
I did, yes.
And now you love what we were what we might have become together.
So just about this time every year- it would have been our anniversary- you start getting unhappy.
You want to go back to 1940 and start all over again.
Why do you think you keep hearing "getting sentimental over you" on the radio? That was our song, ed.
And those programs- we used to listen to them together in the dark.
I'd forgotten.
When you hear those programs you're like a young man again with all of your life ahead of you but it isn't so, ed.
It's all over between us.
We missed our chance.
We can't go back.
You think it's all in my mind, don't you? You think i'm just imagining ed.
that i hear the radio.
That's not true at all.
Get out of here, vinnie.
Get out of here.
And let me alone.
Just let me alone.
Well, portland, here we are back in allen's alley.
Say, the senator's home tonight.
His hound dog is curled up there under the porch, see it? Somebody, i say, somebody knocked.
Drag-on's the name, senator drag-on i know, you're from dixie.
When eat i crackers in bed, i only eat georgia crackers.
When i leave new york harbor, i take the south ferry.
Now, wait a minute ? way down upon the swanee river.
? I'm singing swanee song! Well, i know what you're singing.
Delivery boy.
How about a game of checkers, ed? Oh, no, no, no.
"Let's pretend" is on in five minutes, then there's would you like some lemonade? Lemonade? Nope.
No, no, no.
Say, what's that funny looking thing, huh? You know, when i first started listening to radio again i kept wondering whatever happened to the picture tube.
The picture tube is right here.
Radio.
I tell you, radio is a world that has to be believed to be seen, hmm? Where's my radio? What happened to my radio? Ed, be reasonable.
Do you know anything about it? Ed, calm down! Ed, i'll tell you.
Oh, you'll tell me? I might have known.
Take away the one thing that well, where is it? At the junk dealer's.
The junk dealer? You gave my radio to the junk dealer?! Hey, wait a second.
What do you think you're doing? This is private property.
Well, this belongs to me.
Oh, no, it don't.
We picked this up this morning.
Now, if you want to buy it well, how much, how much? Oh, uh, take a look at it.
That's a beautiful piece of furniture.
How much? Ten dollars.
It better still work, i can tell you that.
Because if it don't, it's going to cost you.
It's going to cost a lot of people if this don't still work.
Now, direct from the aragon ballroom in chicago tommy dorsey and his band.
Thank god.
Thank god it works.
Oh, vinnie, vinnie, come up here, quick.
Ed, what's? Vinnie, tommy dorsey from the aragon ballroom.
I know, dear, it's on this time every thursday.
And then there's ed wynn, and fred allen, and ed, what is the matter with you? Oh, vinnie vinnie, vinnie, vinnie.
Dear, dear, vinnie.
Around and around she goes and where she stops, nobody knows.
All ed lindsay knows is that he desperately wanted a second chance and he finally got it through a strange and wonderful time machine called a radio in the twilight zone.
Captioned by media access group at wgbh access.
Wgbh.
Org be sure and see the colgate- palmolive company's new comedy show my sister eileen wednesday night on many of these same stations.
That's the signpost up ahead.
Your next stop, the twilight zone.
All right, lance, move away from the bar.
I've had all i can take of you.
Whatever you say, father.
When you were a boy, you hated your brother your move, professor.
How's that? It's your move.
Oh, yes, of course.
You are filled with hatred, lance that's my piece, you're black.
Rebellion of youth oh, yes, yes.
You're a man.
You're going to have to face up to very good, very good job.
Green, green cool grass.
The touch, the smell of green, cool grass.
Now, brought to you for the first time in green, the new chlorophyll cigarette.
The smoke that doesn't smell like tobacco but smells good- green, cool like grass.
Yes, green is brought to you what's the matter with you, professor? What's the matter with all you people? Are you hypnotized or something? Going out of your blessed minds? If you don't care for our program, mr.
Lindsay you can request a different channel.
What difference does that make, what channel you got? The new chlorophyll cigarette can make that statement.
And it's 54, termite jones termite jones, my hero termite jones.
He makes it, you the prettiest song in the world.
Isn't that wonderful? Just ruining it, completely ruining a beautiful song ? ho, ho, ho, you and me? ? little brown jug, how i love thee? ? ho, ho, ho, you and me? If you act now, you can get your acreage in splendor flats for the fantastically unbelievable price of 25 cents an acre a week.
Just look at this land, folks.
It's flat, it's gray, it's undeveloped, but it's undeveloped, but it will be a veritable oasis a verit an oasis, yes.
Only green, the new green oh, yes, let's all roll in the grass the green, cool hills of grass.
to take your call, folks.
Hey, mr.
Lindsay, what's that? That's a radio, boy.
Yeah, what's it do? Don't you know what a radio is, boy? Well, sure, but i've never seen one like that before.
No one ever saw one quite like that.
Because that's a very special sort of radio.
In its day, circa 1935 its type was one of the most elegant consoles on the market.
Now, with its fabric-covered speakers its peculiar yellow dial, its serrated knobs it looks quaint and a little strange.
Mr.
Ed lindsay is going to find out how strange very soon when he tunes in to the twilight zone.
Careful of that door.
That's it.
We're going to take it up these steps here, boy.
Well, what do you got there, ed? What's it look like? A radio.
Now let's put it down here.
Put it down, boy.
I remember that.
I thought you'd thrown it out years ago.
I never throw anything away that's worth keeping.
Need any help, ed? Oh, no, no, no.
I wouldn't, i wouldn't want to disturb you, professor.
Pick it up by the legs, boy.
That's it.
Now, careful.
Take it right.
That's it.
That's it, boy.
Right up here.
That's it, boy.
Got to plug it in here.
Think it still works? Sure.
Course it works.
They made things to last in those days.
That's pretty wonderful, all right.
Go buy yourself a switchblade.
And so, ladies and gentlemen with the strains of "getting sentimental over you" tommy dorsey and his orchestra bid you all a very pleasant good night direct from the princeton campus in a broadcast of the summer swing festival and listen to that applause.
But before we sign off, we invite you to stay tuned for major bowes and his famous amateur hour.
This is station wpda in cedarburg, new jersey returning you to good evening, friends.
Once again, the wheel of chance or faith, as you please, is about to revolve.
And as the barker standing at the wheel of fortune says, "around, around she goes "and where she stops, nobody knows.
" Now, does anybody know what will happen when these young people well, what do you want? I just thought you'd like to know that dinner's ready.
I ain't hungry.
You know how mrs.
Nielson feels about oh, all right, all right, all right.
Ever since i can remember, women have been running my life.
Now do this, do that, come to dinner, don't come to dinner frankly, mr.
Lindsay, i don't care whether you starve to death.
I just want to make sure that it's on purpose and not because you'd forgotten that food is available.
I'm not that old yet.
Mr.
Lindsay.
What? You're humming at table.
What was that, anyway? What? That melody, it went, um it's called "i'm getting sentimental over you.
" I heard it on the radio this afternoon.
That's an old tune, isn't it? Yeah, tommy dorsey, they- playing it direct from the direct? Tommy dorsey's dead.
You don't say.
Yeah, he died a few years ago.
What about major bowes? Who? Major bowes.
Never heard of him.
No, you wouldn't.
Well, he's dead, too.
I heard both major bowes and tommy dorsey this afternoon on the radio.
Couldn't be.
Couldn't be? How is it a man with such a tiny brain could have such a big mouth? Now, wait just a minute now, please, mr.
Bragg i think what mr.
Lindsay means or what he's trying to say is that a local radio station was broadcasting recordings of some of the old programs.
They didn't have tape back in those days.
No, but they did have wire, and before that, disks.
I'll tell you what else they had- good music, hmm, professor? Plays that meant something, magic, real magic i doubt it.
You doubt it.
Mr.
Bragg doubts it.
Mr.
Bragg, who watches television until his brain turns into oatmeal and his eyes roll down his face into his beer- mr.
Bragg, the modern man, doubts it.
Well, i'll show you, i'll show you.
Where's that portable radio? Really, mr.
Lindsay where is that portable radio? In the kitchen.
Now, that guy's nuts, that's all.
He's nuts.
Oh, miss brown, you can thank your lucky stars you never married that man.
Now, mr.
Bragg, we'll show you.
We'll just prove it, right here, right in here.
Well, it was right in here.
I'm sorry, i can't wait.
Gunfireis on in exactly four minutes.
Gunfire, we can't miss that.
Ed, remember what station it was? The station? No, i, i yes, yes, you know, the announcer said something about station wpda, that it what can you expect on a dinky little radio like this, hmm? Why don't you come up to my room? Listen to it on a real radio.
Come on.
Come on, professor.
Let's go up, vinnie.
I'd like to hear that program.
Well, it certainly is a handsome thing.
Can't seem to get it.
Maybe they're having transmitting trouble.
Why don't we phone the station? That's a good idea.
That's an excellent idea.
Let's get hold of information and find out here, ed.
Thank you, professor.
Information, would you please give me the number of wpda? That's a radio station.
Wpda, yes, yes.
Heard major bowes.
You remember major bowes, hmm? "Round and round she goes, and and where she stops" uh, uh, yes yes.
Oh? Oh.
Well, what'd she say? Oh, the operator said according to her supervisor that wpda had been out of business for 13 years.
Well, maybe you had some other state or even another country.
This thing has shortwave, doesn't it? Uh, but the announcer said, uh, cedarburg, cedarburg maybe it's it isn't listed in the radio section.
I heard it.
I heard it, i know i did.
Professor, is it so impossible? Impossible? Well, that's a dangerous sort of a word to use nowadays, vinnie.
We take things for granted today that we called impossible just a few years ago.
Let's call it highly unlikely.
Then what did i hear? I don't know, ed.
Ed professor do you really think he heard those programs? Well, vinnie i believe he thinks he did.
Now, we take you directly to the white house in washington, dc, for an address by the president of the united states, franklin delano roosevelt.
Since my annual message to the congress on january 4 last i have not addressed the general public over the air.
In the many weeks since that time, the congress has devoted its professor! Professor! Vinnie! Vinnie! I've got it.
I've really got it.
Come quick.
Quick.
Why bother? You won't hear nothing but static.
Oh, professor, don't encourage that poor man.
Yeah, but oh, he's gone completely psychological.
Oh, my.
Well, i'm sorry, i've lost it.
It was tommy dorsey.
He was playing "i'm getting sentimental over you.
" It was soft and slow, real pretty.
But i've lost it.
Why do i lose it every time somebody else comes around? Why, professor? Well, you just keep on trying, ed.
We're bound to hear it eventually.
Sure, sure we're, we're bound to bound to hear it.
What do you want? Oh, nothing, ed.
I just thought we might talk.
Do you mind? No, talk away, just don't come too close.
I might start climbing the walls barking like a dog.
That's what you all think.
"Poor old ed, he's gone ding-dong.
" No, that's not what i think.
If you'll sit down and be quiet i'll tell you what i think.
Sure, i'll i'll sit.
Right now, ed lindsay you're just about the meanest, sourest most cantankerous old man on the face of the earth.
Thanks.
And i'm not much better.
We've been living like two hermits under the same roof for the last 20 years.
Staring at each other every morning day in, day out wondering what went wrong.
I don't know what you're talking about oh, yes, you do.
You know exactly what i'm talking about but you won't admit it.
We were going to be married oh, for heaven's sake don't get your back up.
I'm not trying to change anything.
I'm just talking.
We met in this boarding house in 1940.
And it was here that you proposed.
I wanted to set the date but your mother was ill, you remember and so you decided to wait.
And that's just what we did.
We waited and waited until, by the time your mother died it was too late.
Vinnie, i'm not going to listen to don't interrupt me.
I've got to get this thing said.
Oh, i know you don't care anything about me now.
I'm just a silly woman who watches television dyes her hair, grows old.
You don't even like me anymore.
And i don't blame you.
You're a bachelor set in your ways.
You can't change what you are and neither can i.
We had our chance and missed it, ed.
But i'll tell you one thing that's true and i know it's true.
You did love me as much as a man ever loved a woman.
Didn't you? Yes, vinnie.
That's true.
I did, yes.
And now you love what we were what we might have become together.
So just about this time every year- it would have been our anniversary- you start getting unhappy.
You want to go back to 1940 and start all over again.
Why do you think you keep hearing "getting sentimental over you" on the radio? That was our song, ed.
And those programs- we used to listen to them together in the dark.
I'd forgotten.
When you hear those programs you're like a young man again with all of your life ahead of you but it isn't so, ed.
It's all over between us.
We missed our chance.
We can't go back.
You think it's all in my mind, don't you? You think i'm just imagining ed.
that i hear the radio.
That's not true at all.
Get out of here, vinnie.
Get out of here.
And let me alone.
Just let me alone.
Well, portland, here we are back in allen's alley.
Say, the senator's home tonight.
His hound dog is curled up there under the porch, see it? Somebody, i say, somebody knocked.
Drag-on's the name, senator drag-on i know, you're from dixie.
When eat i crackers in bed, i only eat georgia crackers.
When i leave new york harbor, i take the south ferry.
Now, wait a minute ? way down upon the swanee river.
? I'm singing swanee song! Well, i know what you're singing.
Delivery boy.
How about a game of checkers, ed? Oh, no, no, no.
"Let's pretend" is on in five minutes, then there's would you like some lemonade? Lemonade? Nope.
No, no, no.
Say, what's that funny looking thing, huh? You know, when i first started listening to radio again i kept wondering whatever happened to the picture tube.
The picture tube is right here.
Radio.
I tell you, radio is a world that has to be believed to be seen, hmm? Where's my radio? What happened to my radio? Ed, be reasonable.
Do you know anything about it? Ed, calm down! Ed, i'll tell you.
Oh, you'll tell me? I might have known.
Take away the one thing that well, where is it? At the junk dealer's.
The junk dealer? You gave my radio to the junk dealer?! Hey, wait a second.
What do you think you're doing? This is private property.
Well, this belongs to me.
Oh, no, it don't.
We picked this up this morning.
Now, if you want to buy it well, how much, how much? Oh, uh, take a look at it.
That's a beautiful piece of furniture.
How much? Ten dollars.
It better still work, i can tell you that.
Because if it don't, it's going to cost you.
It's going to cost a lot of people if this don't still work.
Now, direct from the aragon ballroom in chicago tommy dorsey and his band.
Thank god.
Thank god it works.
Oh, vinnie, vinnie, come up here, quick.
Ed, what's? Vinnie, tommy dorsey from the aragon ballroom.
I know, dear, it's on this time every thursday.
And then there's ed wynn, and fred allen, and ed, what is the matter with you? Oh, vinnie vinnie, vinnie, vinnie.
Dear, dear, vinnie.
Around and around she goes and where she stops, nobody knows.
All ed lindsay knows is that he desperately wanted a second chance and he finally got it through a strange and wonderful time machine called a radio in the twilight zone.
Captioned by media access group at wgbh access.
Wgbh.
Org be sure and see the colgate- palmolive company's new comedy show my sister eileen wednesday night on many of these same stations.