The Weekenders (2000) s02e20 Episode Script
I Want to Be Alone!
Haiiiiiiiya!
Thus ends the lesson.
Where were we?
Oh, yes.
The Chair was entertaining motions
concerning the weekend fun issue.
Tish, I don't believe we've had any
suggestions from you.
Actually, I was thinking I might spend
this weekend by myself.
You mean, like, by yourself?
Tish, what's the matter?
Nothin'.
I was just thinking I'd stay in.
Weird, huh?
People don't spend time
alone on purpose, do they?
They do it because they smell, or because
they can't find their way out of their room.
Or the second one could lead to the first.
I just can't figure out what Tish's
terrible secret is.
Terrible secret?
Why else would she want
to be alone this weekend?
Oh, there's lots of reasons
someone might wanna be alone.
Like, they're planning to take over the
world by inventing a killer zombie serum?
You're overreacting again.
Alright, what is this?
It tastes like a burger.
It's a burger.
Made of what ?
Meat?
Are you sure?
Because normally you
use some kind of weird
Okay, it's ostrich meat.
Ugh!
Ostrich is very low in fat.
Aughh!
It's just a bird.
You like chicken, don't you?
Yeah, but I know an ostrich.
Mr Henkel down the street
has a bunch of ostriches,
and there's this one,
I call him Jimmy.
He pokes his head through
the fence when I walk by.
Mr Henkel is an ostrich farmer.
That's where I got the meat.
Oh, Jimmy!
Sweetie.
Tish probably just wants some time alone.
I'm sure that's all there is to it.
Don't you think you should just trust her?
Maybe.
But I trusted you,
and you served
me Jimmy on a bun!
There's gotta be something
Tish isn'ttelling us.
But what?
What does she have to hide?
Maybe she's a double agent.
I don't think she's a spy.
At least not for anyone on this planet.
Ah, the old Tish is an alien theory.
We haven't discussed that for years,
because you know, there is a lot of
evidence to back that up.
Isn't she just a little
too smart to be from Earth?
And her family.
They yodel.
Nothing human could
stand that much yodelling.
I suggest we pay
Miss Tish Katsufrakis a little visit.
Everyone knows the plan, right?
We never made a plan.
Oops.
Hello, friends of Tish.
This is such very surprise.
But is good surprise!
Not like finding Ox in Onion Closet.
Hiya Mr Katsufrakis!
We were just looking for
Please, you coming in.
No need to talk outside like monkeys.
Honey Bean, I have surprise.
Not another Ox in Onion Closet!
Dude, this is super creepy.
Being with your friend's parents, when your
friend isn't there, is always creepy.
Mr and Mrs. Katsufrakis,
we were wondering where Tish..
You like the Keeber and Tinsy?
Um I Uhh..
Yeah, these things are amazing!
Can you make more?
We would need to have more ingredients
flown in from Old Country.
Thanks.
That'd be great.
So, can you, uh, tell us where Tish is?
She doesn't tell you?
She is with Cows and Duck.
"Cows and Duck"?
Goodbyes, coming again soon~
I've never tasted anything like that.
Was that meat inside, or cheese?
I want to know about the "Cows and Ducks."
Tish is with "Cows and Duck."
What could that mean?
Obviously, it's some
kind of secret spy code.
It probably means steal the microfilm.
Uh-huh.
Yeah, good.
Or crazy thought.
It could mean she went
to the petting zoo at the mall.
- Alright.
- Yeah.
There's a cow, but no ducks.
And no Tish.
I'm glad some kids your age aren't too cool to
enjoy wholesome entertainment like a petting zoo.
Oh, we're definitely too cool.
Look, a bunny!
I'm going to call him "Jimmy 2".
Mr Higginbotham, you haven't
seen Tish, have you?
Hmm.
She might have been with that group that
was protesting the exploitation of animals,
but they all went to the beach to
protest people who feed the seagulls.
Or people who don't feed the seagulls.
I'm not sure which.
I know why Tish ditched us.
She thought we'd make fun
of her protest group.
Why would she think that?
'Cause we did it the last fourteen times
she protested something.
That's no reason to jump to conclusions.
It doesn't matter.
She's not here.
If Tish really is trying to avoid us,
I bet she'd go someplace we'd
never expect to find her.
Like where?
Well, no sign of Tish in there.
Can't we stay for just one more movie?
Carv', we're trying to find Tish.
But the Three Nitwitts
Meet Dracula's Uncle is next!
That's the best one!
Oh, come on!
Come on, please!
Guys!
Why is it Tommy's
International Sausage House?
Do they have like, French sausages?
I don't know.
But I'm about to be speakin' French.
Into a toilet!
I give up.
We've looked for Tish everywhere I can think of
that we'd never think of looking for Tish.
Try looking there.
What are you up to, Tish?
Who's Tish?
Maybe it's Tish in disguise.
Or maybe it's Tish out of disguise.
I'm sorry, sir.
We thought you were someone else.
I was.
But hey, like.
People change, man.
There has to be a way we can find out what
Tish is hiding from us.
Maybe she isn't hiding anything.
Maybe she's just mad at us.
What can we possibly have done to make her
mad?
Woohoo!
Yeeeeeeown.
So, what you doing?
Well, I was reproducing
the Mona Lisa in chalk.
Until someone skated over it!
Carver, I left the pie
out here to cool off.
Have you seen it?
No.
Why do you ask?
It's a model of Shakespeare's Globe Theatre
made entirely of toothpicks.
It took me months.
Not bad.
Can I borrow one?
Well, I sure didn't do
anything to make her mad.
Me neither.
Not me.
Then what's goin' on with her?
I think I know.
Look.
I don't believe it.
She ditched us to hang
out with some other kid?
"I want to be alone."
Ha!
I say we officially demote her
from Friend to Acquaintaince.
Done.
Wait.
How do we do that officially?
Just call the U.S. Department
of Friends and Buddies.
They have a form you can fill out.
Oh.
Huh?
So Tish is tired of us.
So she's moved on.
So what?
Sure.
This is a big relief, really.
No more dulcimer concerts.
No more vegetarianism.
No more endless talks about, whatever it
was she was talking about.
When I had no idea what she was talking
about.
Hey, guys.
What's up?
Oh, look.
It's Tish.
That's right.
Tish.
Her name slipped my mind
for a second there.
What's with you, guys?
With us?
Nothing's with us?
Is something with you?
Or rather, is someone with you?
Tish, you are coming or spending time now
with your friends?
I I don't know.
Friends of Tish, have you met already
Tish's cows and dog?
There she goes with that
"Cows and Duck" again.
Oh, she means "my cousin, Doug."
Is what I say!
Cousin Doug?
Doug came into town unexpectedly Friday
night and I've been showing him around.
Didn't Mama tell you guys I was with him?
Guess she did.
Sort of.
Doug, I want you to meet
Tino, Lor, and Carver.
Any cousin of Tish's
is a cousin of.. ours
Oh, Tish is talkin' talkin' talk about you!
Which is one who ate 40 "keeber and timsey"?
That would be Carver.
40 keeber and tinsey,
you are very brave man!
Brave?
Why?
Does he not know they are
stuffed with ostrich meat?
Jimmy!
It's been nice seeing my cousin,
but I was kind of bummed.
I didn't get to spend any time by myself.
Well, we'll make sure to give you plenty
of alone time next weekend.
Yeah, it's the least we can do after what
we've been doing the last couple of days.
Why?
What have you been doing?
Just things and stuff and junk.
Nevermind! I don't want to know.
Well, I guess now we know you have to
trust your friends.
You know, respect their privacy, and
don't start imagining all sorts of crazy..
Who are you talking to?
Are you hiding something from us?
Right.
Later days.
Thus ends the lesson.
Where were we?
Oh, yes.
The Chair was entertaining motions
concerning the weekend fun issue.
Tish, I don't believe we've had any
suggestions from you.
Actually, I was thinking I might spend
this weekend by myself.
You mean, like, by yourself?
Tish, what's the matter?
Nothin'.
I was just thinking I'd stay in.
Weird, huh?
People don't spend time
alone on purpose, do they?
They do it because they smell, or because
they can't find their way out of their room.
Or the second one could lead to the first.
I just can't figure out what Tish's
terrible secret is.
Terrible secret?
Why else would she want
to be alone this weekend?
Oh, there's lots of reasons
someone might wanna be alone.
Like, they're planning to take over the
world by inventing a killer zombie serum?
You're overreacting again.
Alright, what is this?
It tastes like a burger.
It's a burger.
Made of what ?
Meat?
Are you sure?
Because normally you
use some kind of weird
Okay, it's ostrich meat.
Ugh!
Ostrich is very low in fat.
Aughh!
It's just a bird.
You like chicken, don't you?
Yeah, but I know an ostrich.
Mr Henkel down the street
has a bunch of ostriches,
and there's this one,
I call him Jimmy.
He pokes his head through
the fence when I walk by.
Mr Henkel is an ostrich farmer.
That's where I got the meat.
Oh, Jimmy!
Sweetie.
Tish probably just wants some time alone.
I'm sure that's all there is to it.
Don't you think you should just trust her?
Maybe.
But I trusted you,
and you served
me Jimmy on a bun!
There's gotta be something
Tish isn'ttelling us.
But what?
What does she have to hide?
Maybe she's a double agent.
I don't think she's a spy.
At least not for anyone on this planet.
Ah, the old Tish is an alien theory.
We haven't discussed that for years,
because you know, there is a lot of
evidence to back that up.
Isn't she just a little
too smart to be from Earth?
And her family.
They yodel.
Nothing human could
stand that much yodelling.
I suggest we pay
Miss Tish Katsufrakis a little visit.
Everyone knows the plan, right?
We never made a plan.
Oops.
Hello, friends of Tish.
This is such very surprise.
But is good surprise!
Not like finding Ox in Onion Closet.
Hiya Mr Katsufrakis!
We were just looking for
Please, you coming in.
No need to talk outside like monkeys.
Honey Bean, I have surprise.
Not another Ox in Onion Closet!
Dude, this is super creepy.
Being with your friend's parents, when your
friend isn't there, is always creepy.
Mr and Mrs. Katsufrakis,
we were wondering where Tish..
You like the Keeber and Tinsy?
Um I Uhh..
Yeah, these things are amazing!
Can you make more?
We would need to have more ingredients
flown in from Old Country.
Thanks.
That'd be great.
So, can you, uh, tell us where Tish is?
She doesn't tell you?
She is with Cows and Duck.
"Cows and Duck"?
Goodbyes, coming again soon~
I've never tasted anything like that.
Was that meat inside, or cheese?
I want to know about the "Cows and Ducks."
Tish is with "Cows and Duck."
What could that mean?
Obviously, it's some
kind of secret spy code.
It probably means steal the microfilm.
Uh-huh.
Yeah, good.
Or crazy thought.
It could mean she went
to the petting zoo at the mall.
- Alright.
- Yeah.
There's a cow, but no ducks.
And no Tish.
I'm glad some kids your age aren't too cool to
enjoy wholesome entertainment like a petting zoo.
Oh, we're definitely too cool.
Look, a bunny!
I'm going to call him "Jimmy 2".
Mr Higginbotham, you haven't
seen Tish, have you?
Hmm.
She might have been with that group that
was protesting the exploitation of animals,
but they all went to the beach to
protest people who feed the seagulls.
Or people who don't feed the seagulls.
I'm not sure which.
I know why Tish ditched us.
She thought we'd make fun
of her protest group.
Why would she think that?
'Cause we did it the last fourteen times
she protested something.
That's no reason to jump to conclusions.
It doesn't matter.
She's not here.
If Tish really is trying to avoid us,
I bet she'd go someplace we'd
never expect to find her.
Like where?
Well, no sign of Tish in there.
Can't we stay for just one more movie?
Carv', we're trying to find Tish.
But the Three Nitwitts
Meet Dracula's Uncle is next!
That's the best one!
Oh, come on!
Come on, please!
Guys!
Why is it Tommy's
International Sausage House?
Do they have like, French sausages?
I don't know.
But I'm about to be speakin' French.
Into a toilet!
I give up.
We've looked for Tish everywhere I can think of
that we'd never think of looking for Tish.
Try looking there.
What are you up to, Tish?
Who's Tish?
Maybe it's Tish in disguise.
Or maybe it's Tish out of disguise.
I'm sorry, sir.
We thought you were someone else.
I was.
But hey, like.
People change, man.
There has to be a way we can find out what
Tish is hiding from us.
Maybe she isn't hiding anything.
Maybe she's just mad at us.
What can we possibly have done to make her
mad?
Woohoo!
Yeeeeeeown.
So, what you doing?
Well, I was reproducing
the Mona Lisa in chalk.
Until someone skated over it!
Carver, I left the pie
out here to cool off.
Have you seen it?
No.
Why do you ask?
It's a model of Shakespeare's Globe Theatre
made entirely of toothpicks.
It took me months.
Not bad.
Can I borrow one?
Well, I sure didn't do
anything to make her mad.
Me neither.
Not me.
Then what's goin' on with her?
I think I know.
Look.
I don't believe it.
She ditched us to hang
out with some other kid?
"I want to be alone."
Ha!
I say we officially demote her
from Friend to Acquaintaince.
Done.
Wait.
How do we do that officially?
Just call the U.S. Department
of Friends and Buddies.
They have a form you can fill out.
Oh.
Huh?
So Tish is tired of us.
So she's moved on.
So what?
Sure.
This is a big relief, really.
No more dulcimer concerts.
No more vegetarianism.
No more endless talks about, whatever it
was she was talking about.
When I had no idea what she was talking
about.
Hey, guys.
What's up?
Oh, look.
It's Tish.
That's right.
Tish.
Her name slipped my mind
for a second there.
What's with you, guys?
With us?
Nothing's with us?
Is something with you?
Or rather, is someone with you?
Tish, you are coming or spending time now
with your friends?
I I don't know.
Friends of Tish, have you met already
Tish's cows and dog?
There she goes with that
"Cows and Duck" again.
Oh, she means "my cousin, Doug."
Is what I say!
Cousin Doug?
Doug came into town unexpectedly Friday
night and I've been showing him around.
Didn't Mama tell you guys I was with him?
Guess she did.
Sort of.
Doug, I want you to meet
Tino, Lor, and Carver.
Any cousin of Tish's
is a cousin of.. ours
Oh, Tish is talkin' talkin' talk about you!
Which is one who ate 40 "keeber and timsey"?
That would be Carver.
40 keeber and tinsey,
you are very brave man!
Brave?
Why?
Does he not know they are
stuffed with ostrich meat?
Jimmy!
It's been nice seeing my cousin,
but I was kind of bummed.
I didn't get to spend any time by myself.
Well, we'll make sure to give you plenty
of alone time next weekend.
Yeah, it's the least we can do after what
we've been doing the last couple of days.
Why?
What have you been doing?
Just things and stuff and junk.
Nevermind! I don't want to know.
Well, I guess now we know you have to
trust your friends.
You know, respect their privacy, and
don't start imagining all sorts of crazy..
Who are you talking to?
Are you hiding something from us?
Right.
Later days.