The West Wing s02e20 Episode Script
The Fall's Gonna Kill You
-Previously on The West Wing : -You' re scared of Babish.
Like you' re not.
OIiver, I' m gonna tell you a story and I need you to tell me whether I've engaged 1 6 people in a criminal conspiracy to defraud the public in order to win an election.
Have you signed a document in which you were asked about your health -and did not disclose you have MS? -No.
-T oby? -Y eah? -Why are you Iying to me? -Charlie-- When Zoey and EIIie went to college, they had to fill out a health form.
Because she was 1 7, a parent had to sign it.
-And she Ieft off the MS? -Y eah.
-Good morning.
-Good morning.
-Did anyone see you come here? -I don't know.
-Why not? -I wasn't paying that much attention.
I wish you would.
I walked from my office to your office.
-Is there press outside your office? -Not at 5:30 a.
m.
When did you find out about the president's MS? Last night, when Leo told me.
-Who else was there? -Nobody.
-Nobody else was in the room? -No.
Have you ever Iied about the president's health? -Should I have my Iawyer here? -I' m your Iawyer.
-You' re the president's Iawyer.
-I' m White House counsel.
Have you Iied about his health? -When did he tell you? -I' m sorry? -When did the president tell you? -Six days ago.
-And Josh? -Two days after that.
-T oby? -Two days before he told me.
Have you Iied about the president's health? -And Leo he told more than a year ago.
-Y eah.
I've had this for six hours, so giving me some room wouldn't be out of Iine, know what I' m saying? I have to ask you questions.
The Iess you could be pissed at the world for no reason, the better I think.
-I don't know you.
-I' m sorry? I was told to report to you, I don't know you.
-You've been here, what? -Three months.
-Three months.
Why should I trust you? -I don't care if you trust me.
-Imagine my shock.
-I've got better things to do.
This is going really well so far.
It's hard to believe that four different women have sued you for divorce.
You can do that if you want.
I've been through it with Josh and T oby but you' re gonna have to answer questions.
-Either to you or? -A grand jury.
-Compelled by? -A Justice Department subpoena.
Well, I have to tell you it'II be the first time I've been asked out in a while, so-- It's entirely possible that the president has committed multiple counts of a federal crime to which you were an accomplice.
That much has sunk in in the Iast six hours.
-Has it? -Yes.
So why don't you knock off the cutie-pie crap and answer the damn question?! What was the question? Have you ever Iied about the president's health? What is your answer? Many, many times.
-Mr.
Connelly? -Y es.
I' m Donna Moss, Josh Lyman's assistant.
He's tied up with Mr.
McGarry.
I hope you don't mind waiting.
No.
Does anybody know if it's gonna rain this afternoon? They' re asking me.
-The paper said mid-afternoon.
-So we know it won't be that.
-Call the Navy Y ard for me, would you? -Y eah.
-Donna.
-Y eah.
-Have you seen C.
J.
? -No, what's so funny? Ed just got a fax from.
I' m sorry.
Ed got a fax from a man named Byron T almadge.
He's the associate administrator for NASA's Office of Space Cadets.
-FIight.
-Office of Space FIight.
-The OSF.
-What'd the fax say? A Chinese satellite is gonna crash to Earth and we don't know where and when.
-Seriously? -Y eah, it's right here in the fax.
A satellite is crashing to Earth and NASA sent us a fax? -Y eah.
-This is for real? Yes.
-A satellite is gonna crash into the Earth? -Y es.
-Why are you Iaughing? -We thought it was funny.
What am I supposed to do with this? The fax was for C.
J.
Just give it to her when you see her.
Donna, they say it's not gonna rain this afternoon.
Well, that's a relief.
-Hear me out on this, okay? -Y eah.
We want to see some polling.
-Why? -We need to know what to do next.
-We know what to do.
-We don't know which is the more insurmountable problem, the perception that-- We'II call back.
The perception that he's not physically up to the job or that he Iied about it.
There's no way to gauge public opinion on this until the issue occurs.
Public opinion is gonna be shaped by the press.
AII public opinion is shaped by the press but the fundamental foundation already exists in their perception of-- -How are you gonna take a poll--? -We can do it.
-Look-- -Leo.
I don't trust any of our people and even if I did what questions could they ask that won't trip an alarm? Josh trusts Joey Lucas.
-From California? -Y eah, she's flying in.
-What did you tell her? -That we were commissioning a poll to explore attitudes toward subsurface agricultural products.
-Subsurface agricultural-- -Underground.
-What the hell--? -Americans eat more beets.
-Beets? -Y eah.
-AII right.
-Okay? Y eah.
T oby, you want to talk about when we tell Sam? -I wouldn't do it right now.
-Why? His head is in the SME speech for Chicago.
-The thing-- -Hang on.
His head is in Chicago.
That's where we need it.
Would you want to write the speech with this around your neck? No.
The president wants him to know by the end of the day.
-The end of the day, then.
-Okay.
-Anything else? -No, thanks.
-Thank you.
-Thanks.
-When does she get here? -6:00.
-You do this carefully.
-No kidding.
You trust this person? I gotta trust somebody right now.
Good, because I don't trust anybody right now.
-Josh? -Y eah.
A fax was sent to the Press Office from the Office of Space FIight at NASA.
A Chinese satellite called Zodiac has fallen out of its orbit and will be falling to Earth at an unspecified time and place.
-What are you telling me for? -What am I telling you for? This thing is falling to Earth.
Isn't there something we do? -Like what? -Like sound the alarm, I don't know.
-Sound the alarm? -There is no alarm.
-There's really not.
Martin? -Y es.
-Sorry to keep you.
-That's okay.
Come on back.
The fax is for the Press Office.
Give it to them.
The deputies are at breakfast and I don't know where C.
J.
is.
Martin, you can have a seat in my office.
C.
J.
's meeting with Babish.
I'II be inside.
-You' re not concerned about this? -No.
-I apologize again.
-No, that's all right.
-I assume you know why I' m here.
-I don't, actually.
-Mac Sheridan was gonna talk to you.
-I have a call to return to Mac.
-I should wait until he talks to you.
-Why don't you talk to me now? The case is running out of money.
-Which case? -The USV-- -You' re kidding me.
-No.
Martin, we spent 1 3 million the first year 23 million the second.
Where's the money going? Outside counsel and staff, depositions expert witnesses, processing, database, research-- We have 31 Iawyers on a case against five tobacco companies just one of which has 342.
We won't count the 1 3 subsidiaries that have mounted their own defense.
T obacco has spent $380 million to the government's 36.
When I come asking for money, it's not because the Justice Department blew its allowance on video games.
-I should've Iet Mac talk to you first.
-Aren't you allowed to transfer funds--? That's what we've been doing.
We've transferred money from Health and Human Services to pay for the Iawsuit, but then the House passed H.
R.
260 -and now the committees-- -Y eah.
-You understand? -Y eah, Iet me run it by Leo.
-This is a fight worth winning.
-You don't have to convince me.
These people perpetrated a fraud against the public.
I' m sorry? I said, they perpetrated a fraud against the public.
-The tobacco companies? -Yeah.
Well, I' m gonna talk to Leo, and I'II tell Mac you were here.
Thank you.
Let me just finish this.
He was hemodynamically stable with a blood pressure of 140/80.
Cholesterol level is 185.
The QRS interval on the EKG is slightly long, but otherwise good.
The president is pronounced in excellent physical health.
-Was that March of Iast year? -How many times have you done that? -I'd have to go and check.
-Estimate.
If that was March of Iast year, then that was his fourth physical.
A couple of times during the campaign.
-And after the shooting.
-Y eah? -The time he rode his bicycle into a tree.
-When he sprained his ankle? T ell me how it works.
-What do you mean? -When the president has a physical.
The president's physician.
Right now it's Admiral Leonard Morrow.
The president's physician calls and gives me a short statement, including vitals.
-Then you make a statement? -Yeah.
-Do you speak to the president before? -Y es.
-Why? -Because of doctor-patient confidentiality.
-You only get so much from the doctor.
-What do you ask? " Is there anything I should know the doctors won't tell me? " -I' m gonna ask you something.
-What? Do you say, " Is there anything I should know? " Or do you say, " Is there anything I need to know? " -What does it matter? -Which do you say? " Is there anything I need to know? " implies you want to know enough to face reporters while maintaining deniability.
-It's an expression.
-Did you use it? I really don't remember, I don't.
-I don't choose words that carefully.
-With the president? -You think I speak to him in code? -No, I was just asking.
Yeah.
Excuse me.
C.
J.
, this is a note from Donna Moss.
-She wanted you to see it right away.
-Thanks.
The sky is falling down.
"The debate over a tax cut, whether to have one or not how Iarge it should be, how small it should be what share should be received by whom.
AII of this, my friends is the wrong debate at the wrong time over the wrong issue.
" -We need to get back to fundamentals.
-Where is that? -Where's what? -"We need to get back to fundamentals.
" It's not in the speech, I' m saying it.
We need to get back to fundamentals.
Excuse me.
Think about fundamentals.
-You ready for some good news? -Y eah.
Not out here.
This is gonna be a front-page story.
There's a front-page story I don't know about yet? -You'II know about it in two hours.
-But I' m gonna know about it now, right? The CBO's gonna issue a new estimate of the surplus.
-They' re projecting down? -Y eah.
-We don't have as much money? -No.
-That's great news.
-Y eah.
It's not great news we have Iess money.
The floor fight's gonna be easier.
-Y eah.
-How much Iess money? Eight years out it's 200 billion Iess.
Nine years out it's 400 billion Iess.
-That is great.
-Yep.
-It's not great that we have-- -We get why it's great.
I can't tell you how much this helps.
I' m drafting the SME speech for Chicago-- That's why we' re telling you.
There's a Iine that ATJ and the Progressive Caucus want in the speech-- I got it here.
"We want a real tax cut for working families to help them pay for education and housing while our opponents want to help the rich pay for bigger swimming pools and faster private jets.
" -No, I don't think so.
-They want it in.
Why not? -It's bad writing.
-Change the writing.
-"Summer homes and sports cars.
" -The poetry is not my problem.
-They want it in Chicago.
-Well, tell them to do their own speech.
-You want to tell them that? -No.
-Okay.
-We have Iess money? -Isn't that great? -Y es, it is.
Thanks.
Are you aware that a year ago January the president had an attack? -I am now.
-You were there when he collapsed.
I was outside the room.
-You went in and he was unconscious.
-Y es.
What made you go into the room? The sound of a Steuben glass pitcher crashing to the floor.
-What'd you think had happened? -I didn't know.
Well, what'd you think? At first glance, I thought he might have a virus contracted from a rare African tsetse fly, possibly tropical sprue.
I' m not an expert, but I did meet a man in India.
It could be anything with presidents.
James Polk had diverticulitis.
-Yeah.
-He couldn't digest nuts.
One in 40 American men wear women's clothing.
We've had over 40 presidents.
One of these guys was dancing around the Oval Office in a prom dress.
Let's get to the bottom of that.
-C.
J.
? -Y eah.
In my entire Iife I've never found anything charming.
Really? -You announced that it was the flu.
-Y es.
-Who told you to say it? -I wasn't told to say it was the flu I was told it was the flu.
I' m not getting into that.
I' m not getting into who said what.
We can do that at the next session.
Okay.
Do you know what time it is? It's five past noon.
I'd Iike you to get out of the habit of doing that.
-Doing what? -Answering more than was asked.
Do you know what time it is? Yes.
We'II take a break and meet again Iater today.
-Hey.
-You see this? -That was nice.
-Good reviews on the speech.
-Y eah.
-From Maynard Wachtel of all places.
-You got a second? -He calls you and me Batman and Robin.
-I don't think he does-- -He doesn't, but he should - because that's what we are.
-Okay.
We' re Batman and Robin.
-Which one's which? -Look at me, Sam, am I Robin? -I' m not Robin.
-Yes, you are.
-Okay, well, Iet's move off this.
-You bet, Iittle friend.
-We' re not Batman and Robin.
-We'II keep those identities secret.
I' m Bruce Wayne and you' re my ward.
-Dick something.
-Jane Gentry and Richard Will came to me with news.
The CBO's projection-- -Really? -Y es, has us 200 billion Iower in 8 years.
-That's fantastic news.
-Y es.
-When is this real? -This afternoon.
-The projections are Iower? -Measurably Iower.
I' m so happy I could spit.
This is the first administration in history to favor slower economic growth.
I favor it when it gives us a bat and ball on tax cuts.
We offer them a deal, we Iower the bottom rate from 1 5 to 1 0% but we stand our ground on no tax cut in the top bracket, and you know why? Because we might not be able to afford it.
-Isn't it great? -Y eah, it's Christmas in Paris.
There's a Iine ATJ and the Progressive Caucus want put in the draft for Chicago.
-What? -That we want to do great things but our opponents want bigger swimming pools and faster private jets.
-Their private jets are too slow? -T oby-- -Change the writing.
-It's not the writing.
I know.
-Listen.
-Y eah.
-Nothing.
-Okay.
Don't worry about it.
-So-- -I have to go to a meeting.
-T alk to somebody at ATJ or the Caucus.
-Okay.
I' m gonna do that, then.
Y eah.
Okay.
-Hey, Donna.
-Hey, Charlie.
-Is there anything you need? -Nope.
Just came in to say hi.
-How you doing? -Good.
So NASA's OSF tells us that the 30th Space Wing at Vandenberg Air Force Base believes that a Chinese satellite has fallen out of its orbital flight plan.
The Iast detection the 30th had placed it in what they call a "degrading orbital path.
" And it's now dropped off their radar suggesting it's begun to fall toward the Earth's atmosphere.
-Cool.
-What's the matter with you people? -What'd I do? -A thing the size of a garbage truck is in a 2000-mile-an-hour free fall and no one knows where it'II hit.
I'II root for Zurich.
I've had it with the Swiss.
-You don't-- -Hang on.
Excuse me.
-Good afternoon.
-Welcome back, Mrs.
Bartlet.
-Thank you.
-A couple of reminders.
You' re at the board of the Children's Cancer Fund -at the Sheraton at 3-- -Before that I wanna be-- You' re gonna read at the Head Start Program.
-Welcome back, Mrs.
Bartlet.
-Snappy suit, Bobby.
-How did it go yesterday? -I got a helicopter named after me.
-Y eah? -An AS 335 F1 Twinstar named Abigail.
I got to break a bottle of cider over its nose.
Charlie.
-Welcome back, ma'am.
-Thank you.
Where's the president? -He's waiting for you inside.
-Thank you.
Hey.
-Hi.
-Welcome back.
-How come I just found out about this? -How was the flight? -How come I just found out about this? -When Leo talked to you - he thought you already knew.
-You think I' m saying this is Leo's fault? I' m asking how come you didn't tell me Iast week? And I' m saying we still do this.
We' re husband and wife and parents and before we Iaunch into intrigue we do "Welcome back, how was the flight? " -What happened? -One of the forms Zoey had to fill out for Georgetown asks for a family medical history.
Y es.
-Did Leo tell you the rest? -Not after he realized that you hadn't told me already, which is a subject I assure you, we will be returning to.
Zoey wasn't 1 8 yet when she started.
A parent had to sign the form.
-Did you sign it? -No, you did, hot pants.
-I signed it? -It's gonna be okay.
Why didn't you tell me on the phone? We talk on the phone three times a day! Because I didn't! Because that's-- Because I didn't.
I talked to Zoey this morning, she's gonna ace her finals.
-She told me.
-I hate EIIie's boyfriend.
She told me.
I need you to speak to the White House counsel, Abbey.
I know.
Hey.
-The first Iady's back? -Yeah.
I was talking to her on the phone and I mentioned Zoey's application without realizing the president hadn't told her.
-Why hadn't the president told her? -What do you want? -Thirty million dollars.
-No.
Martin Connelly, assistant attorney general, says they' re out of money.
-On the suit? -Y eah.
-They' re always out of money.
-We don't give enough.
We passed a Iaw Iast summer that says they can transfer funds from Commerce, from Health and Human Services.
They can take it from Veterans Affairs up to, what? I think $ 1 2 million.
The problem is the Iaw says those transfers are subject to approval by House committees, each of which has a chairman elected with the $8 million tobacco spent in the Iast election.
Even then it wouldn't matter, because -Neither is 30 million.
-Then Iet's give them more.
Why not? Because we' re gonna Iose.
-Give them enough to win.
-And Iiquidate the Grand T etons? They' re saying 30 million and I think it's a steal at twice the price.
Staff it out to some people and report to me on it in, what? -Two, three days? -Good.
I' m going out to the airport.
AII right.
Do a job.
Y eah.
-Hi.
-Hey, Sam.
-Henry.
Helen.
Hey, Bruce.
-How you doing, Sam? Lewis.
We just have a few minutes, right? -There's a caucus.
-You've heard the good news.
The CBO, projected eight years out, has the budget surplus coming in $200 billion Iower.
-That's great.
-There's something wrong with us but that's for a different time.
I wanted to mention that Jane Gentry and Richard Will say you guys want a Iine in the Chicago draft.
-Jet planes and swimming pools.
-" Our opponents want to help the rich pay for bigger swimming pools and faster private jets.
" -Y eah.
-Hit them hard.
We are hitting hard.
I' m not gonna use the Iine.
-Why not? -First of all, it's bad writing.
-What's wrong with it? -Sounds Iike a high school girl wrote it.
Is something wrong with how women write? -There is when she's in high school.
-Sam! It's not the writing.
Come on, faster private jets and swimming pools? -We can take out the heavy bats now.
-And do what with them? -The Iine works.
-So does " How about them Cowboys? " when you' re in Dallas, but it won't change the mind of anyone who doesn't already agree.
Are you in favor of tax cuts for the wealthy? I am not.
I am in favor of tax cuts for whom it will do the most good.
That's a tough enough battle.
It Iooks Iike we've got a fair fight.
I' m not talking about policy, I' m talking about rhetoric and the men you work for need to dial it down to five.
Henry, Iast fall, every time your boss got on the stump and said : " It's time for the rich to pay their fair share, " I hid under a couch.
I Ieft Gage Whitney making which means I paid 27 times the national average in income tax.
I paid my fair share.
And the fair share of 26 other people.
And I' m happy to, because that's the only way it's gonna work.
It's in my best interest that everybody go to schools and drive on roads.
But I don't get 27 votes, the fire department doesn't come 27 times faster, and water doesn't come out of my faucet 27 times hotter.
The top 1 % of wage earners in this country pay for 22% of this country.
Let's not call them names while they do it.
-You' re not using the Iine? -No.
-Or anything Iike it? -No.
Make it clear to your people this has nothing to do -with cozying up to Republicans.
-No, why would they think that? We've got a caucus.
I know women who can write, Helen.
I know women who can blow the walls off brick buildings.
This sounds Iike a girl.
-Airlines flight 1 106 arriving.
-Joey.
-Joey, how you doing? -Hi.
-I' m Josh Lyman.
-Dale Bracket.
What happened to Kenny? He' s on vacation.
-So you' re the substitute interpreter? -Y eah.
-You came here to pick me up? -Not exactly.
Dale, I' m gonna ask you to wait over here, okay? Joey, you' re gonna read my Iips, and if I can't understand what you' re saying you'II write it down, all right? -Okay.
-Excuse us.
-Dale? -Y es.
He's pretty good-Iooking for an interpreter, wouldn't you say? He's good-Iooking for anybody.
-Dale Bracket? -Y es.
And he's not a television detective? We can't talk about this in the car? -I' m sorry? -We can't talk about this in the car? -You' re not getting in the car.
-Why? Because you' re getting back on a plane in an hour and 1 0 minutes.
AII right, if we sit Iike this, can Dale Bracket, PI read my Iips? No.
Okay.
You' re not talking to me about an agriculture poll.
-No kidding.
-You guessed that? We think we' re eating more beets? Well, we are, but that's not important.
Well, what's important? -Hi, what can I get for you? -Cranberry juice and club soda and I'II have a Iarge glass of ice water.
I told Leo McGarry that we could trust you and T oby backed me up.
What's important? Eight years ago the president was diagnosed with an illness that was never disclosed.
Y es.
What is it? Cranberry and club and a Iarge glass of ice water.
-Excuse me, the first Iady.
-Thank you.
-OIiver.
-Good afternoon, Mrs.
Bartlet.
-How are you? -Fine, thank you.
I haven't been in this office since you moved in.
It Iooks great.
-Thank you.
-I haven't come in here because it seems that every time I do, there's a new counsel.
Leo keeps them in the basement Iike those Iadies in Arsenic and Old Lace.
-Y eah.
-Anyway the president's very glad you' re here, particularly in this time of nonsense.
Would you mind if I asked a few questions? I' m not as experienced in this as the senior staff.
I read a book about Daniel Webster.
I read a book about Benjamin Disraeli.
What experience I do have is with dead Iawyers.
Just out of curiosity, how'd they die? If you' re under the impression you' re the fifth White House counsel instead of the first because of me, you' re mistaken, OIiver.
I wasn't under that impression, but we should stick to the matter.
-You want to ask me some questions.
-Y es.
-About Zoey's health form.
-Y ep.
It was a form.
It asked for, among other things, a family's medical history.
It was blank.
It was a form, one of many forms.
I signed it without reading it.
-Was anyone in the room? -It was a year ago, I don't remember.
-Was the president in the room? -I don't remember.
When I ask the president that, he's gonna tell the truth.
And the president will also resent your implication that I didn't do the same.
-The president wasn't in the room? -I don't remember.
He doesn't remember.
-Mrs.
Bartlet-- -OIiver, you have kids.
There are forms.
School trips and soccer and band uniforms and report cards and notes to get out of gym.
-You signed those forms.
-Their mother signs them.
So do I.
And by the way, when you' re the daughter of the president of the United States, there's a Iot more forms on top of that.
-I understand.
-Do you? Y es, but a Iawyer half my size while cross-examining you, will say the following : " Do you have an MD from Harvard? Are you certified in internal medicine? Are you certified in thoracic surgery? Are you a professor at Harvard? Are you on the staff at Boston Mercy? Have you practiced medicine for 26 years? Are you not able to recognize a medical history form when it is in front of you? " I didn't read it.
I didn't think it was important.
"What else have you signed without thinking? Prescriptions? Patient instructions? So just this? " OIiver, I am not an expert on diseases of the central nervous system but I can tell you that MS is not hereditary.
The president's condition has absolutely no relevance to Zoey's health status.
-Now you' re changing your story.
-No, I' m not.
Did you sign it because you were absent-minded -or because you knew best? -I signed it because-- I just signed it.
It was a form.
Making a big thing out of it is what makes it into a big thing.
-Really? -And I' m not 1 00% sure that's not what you' re going for.
-Why would I want it to be a big thing? -Because defending the president in prime time Iooks good on a résumé.
Well, I've got a pretty good-Iooking résumé already and it's not a big thing because I say so, ma'am.
It's a big thing.
You'II get all the questions I just asked and more.
And then they' re gonna ask the president if he was in the room when you signed it.
And that's when he's gonna give everyone's favorite answer from a president who has announced that he has MS, " I don't remember.
" When are you gonna go public? Probably in a week.
They' re still strategizing.
-A Iive interview on the networks? -Y eah.
Jim Lehrer, Tim Russert, Barbara Walters you, somebody, the president sitting in a den? -Y eah.
-Followed by a Iive conference.
They' re working on the strategy.
" I regret that I concealed my condition from the public.
I regret the appearance that I tried to deceive voters to win.
" Yes.
And if we don't make it a big thing, they won't? Mrs.
Bartlet, I' m not sure you have an appropriate appreciation of the size of what happens next.
-When are you going public? -Probably in about a week.
-A week? How? -We' re deciding.
Probably a Iive interview followed by a press conference.
So we need to know what we' re talking about.
Joey, we need you to put a poll in the field.
You've gotta come up with a model that gets us the answers we need without asking the questions we can't ask.
You've gotta come up with the model by yourself.
You've gotta break down the results yourself.
Not even the callers can understand the questions they' re asking.
And you've got to do it all in 96 hours.
Is what I' m describing possible? -We make it a governor.
-A governor.
Of an industrial state.
I didn't.
-The governor of an industrial state.
-Michigan.
And you give him a degenerative illness? Joey, you understand that before this is over, we' re probably all gonna be spending some time in front of a grand jury.
-You can do this? -No problem.
Los Angeles passengers preboarding flight 12 1 7, please use gate.
That's your flight.
-Josh? -Y eah.
-How is the president? -He's fine.
He's fine.
I'II tell him you asked.
-Ninety-six hours? -Y eah.
I have to go work now.
The Chinese Embassy won't admit it's their satellite.
We know it's their satellite.
We've been Iooking at it for years.
It's Iike knowing Mars is Mars.
T ell me you didn't call the Chinese Embassy.
I didn't call the embassy, people called the embassy.
-It's not Iike this isn't cause for concern.
-Right.
The Chinese news aren't reporting it because they won't admit it.
Why do you think the American news isn't reporting it? -That's a fascinating question to me.
-T o all of us.
-We don't know what kind of satellite.
-It could be anything.
-Communications.
-Right.
-It could be a spy satellite.
-It could have plutonium.
That's right.
-PIutonium? -Y eah.
-PIutonium.
-Well, nuclear reactors on a satellite aren't common, but you never know.
No, I suppose you don't.
-Hey, Donna.
-Good evening, ma'am, welcome back.
-Thank you.
-How was the trip? -I got a helicopter named after me.
-Mrs.
Bartlet.
Hello.
How are you? I' m fine, but there's a giant object hurling its way toward us at a devastating velocity.
T ell me about it.
-C.
J.
? -Good evening, ma'am.
-Can I talk to you for a second? -Sure.
How was your day? I got bitch-slapped by the White House counsel.
How about you? I wanted to be here when you were told.
I didn't know they were gonna tell you Iast night.
You know, Leo called me into the Oval Office about 1 1 :00 and I was standing with T oby when Leo called me in.
And T oby said: " I'II be right here in my office when you' re done.
" I didn't know what he meant or why he said it.
Yeah.
Babish said there's a difference between asking the president: " Is there anything I should know? " and " Is there anything I need to know? " He seemed to think " need to know " implies I know something already but I don't want it confirmed in order to maintain deniability.
Well, he's a Iawyer, C.
J.
He's vetting, it's his job.
I told him I couldn't remember which one I say.
There were a Iot of things I couldn't remember.
Abbey during the campaign we were in Manhattan, Kansas at a Sheraton or a Marriott.
I can't remember, but we were in Manhattan, Kansas.
I came to your suite early to tell you we'd be doing Nightline that night and we had to get to an ABC affiliate.
And I think by then the two of you were so used to people walking in and out of your room that you didn't hear me open the door.
And I was almost sure I saw you giving the president an injection of something.
It was Betaseron.
It reduces the frequency of the attacks.
When the president has his physical and I do the release I only ever ask " Is there anything else I need to know? " Come on in.
-She's in.
-What's she gonna do? " If the governor of a major state had a degenerative illness which he hadn't disclosed but which has yet to impair his performance, would you support him? " -Which governor? -Michigan.
Well then we'II wait.
Y eah.
Listen, about this Justice appropriation-- -You' re gonna do a report? -Y eah.
Then can I read the report before you ask me to green-Iight another multi-million dollar battle that'II have no support in Congress? Y eah.
I just brought it up because this assistant A.
G.
, Martin Connelly when he Ieft my office this morning, he turned and said: "They perpetrated a fraud against the public.
" And the Iook on his face when he said it.
They want to get these people.
We' re not big tobacco.
Yeah.
-He's expecting me.
-Okay.
Good evening, Mr.
President.
Leo, how could you tell Abbey about the health form before I did? I didn't know you hadn't told her.
My wife and I are fighting battles on several fronts at the moment including one with each other.
Can you and I be men? Can we have a bond? -We' re putting a poll in the field.
-How? We' re using a woman Josh and T oby trust named Joey Lucas.
I met Joey Lucas.
She's basically giving MS to the governor of Michigan.
-How's he gonna feel about that? -Don't worry.
-This is a bad idea.
-We've gotta do it.
I' m coming clean.
I' m doing it voluntarily.
It's gonna Iook Iike I did it because a poll told me to.
Then it'd be a good idea if nobody found out.
AII right.
Why don't you get Sam? -So.
-Y eah.
-I think I may have offended-- -Oh, God.
-Yeah.
-Who? I met with some of the staffers for Americans for T ax Justice and the Progressive Caucus.
-You think you may have offended them? -Y eah.
And girls, possibly.
-Were you right? -Y eah.
T oby, it's class-- That's all you need to tell me.
I trust you.
-Sam? -Y eah.
-Come see the president, would you? -Y eah.
-Sam? -Y eah.
I'II be here in the office when you' re done.
Y eah, okay.
-C.
J.
-Hey.
-You walking? -Yeah.
-I met with Joey Lucas today.
-I heard.
The president's got Leo worried it's gonna Iook Iike we announced it because we took a poll.
What do you think? What? The president and Leo are worried about that? Y eah.
What? You guys are Iike Butch and Sundance peering over a cliff to the boulder-filled rapids 300 feet below thinking you better not jump because there's a chance you might drown.
The president has this disease and has been Iying about it and you guys are worried that the polling might make us Iook bad? It's the fall that's gonna kill you.
-Us.
-What? You said, " It's the fall that's gonna kill you.
" You meant us.
-Where are you going, C.
J.
? -Home.
I know what you meant.
I want to sleep for a while.
I' m going home.
You know, Donna got hold of this fax that was sent to the Press Office from the OSF at NASA.
-What, something falling out of the sky? -Y eah.
-We get that fax once a week.
-Y eah, but Donna doesn't know that.
-She thinks it's an emergency.
-And you didn't want to tell her? No, the other way you get a day of entertainment without Ieaving the office.
She doesn't know that these things fall out of the sky all the time.
Once every 1 0 days, as a matter of fact.
Since the first year we started putting objects in space 1 7,000 have come back.
Remarkably, not one person has been hit.
So I suppose there's an argument to be made that we' re due.
Yeah, you picked me right up there, Josh.
-See you tomorrow.
-Y eah.
Like you' re not.
OIiver, I' m gonna tell you a story and I need you to tell me whether I've engaged 1 6 people in a criminal conspiracy to defraud the public in order to win an election.
Have you signed a document in which you were asked about your health -and did not disclose you have MS? -No.
-T oby? -Y eah? -Why are you Iying to me? -Charlie-- When Zoey and EIIie went to college, they had to fill out a health form.
Because she was 1 7, a parent had to sign it.
-And she Ieft off the MS? -Y eah.
-Good morning.
-Good morning.
-Did anyone see you come here? -I don't know.
-Why not? -I wasn't paying that much attention.
I wish you would.
I walked from my office to your office.
-Is there press outside your office? -Not at 5:30 a.
m.
When did you find out about the president's MS? Last night, when Leo told me.
-Who else was there? -Nobody.
-Nobody else was in the room? -No.
Have you ever Iied about the president's health? -Should I have my Iawyer here? -I' m your Iawyer.
-You' re the president's Iawyer.
-I' m White House counsel.
Have you Iied about his health? -When did he tell you? -I' m sorry? -When did the president tell you? -Six days ago.
-And Josh? -Two days after that.
-T oby? -Two days before he told me.
Have you Iied about the president's health? -And Leo he told more than a year ago.
-Y eah.
I've had this for six hours, so giving me some room wouldn't be out of Iine, know what I' m saying? I have to ask you questions.
The Iess you could be pissed at the world for no reason, the better I think.
-I don't know you.
-I' m sorry? I was told to report to you, I don't know you.
-You've been here, what? -Three months.
-Three months.
Why should I trust you? -I don't care if you trust me.
-Imagine my shock.
-I've got better things to do.
This is going really well so far.
It's hard to believe that four different women have sued you for divorce.
You can do that if you want.
I've been through it with Josh and T oby but you' re gonna have to answer questions.
-Either to you or? -A grand jury.
-Compelled by? -A Justice Department subpoena.
Well, I have to tell you it'II be the first time I've been asked out in a while, so-- It's entirely possible that the president has committed multiple counts of a federal crime to which you were an accomplice.
That much has sunk in in the Iast six hours.
-Has it? -Yes.
So why don't you knock off the cutie-pie crap and answer the damn question?! What was the question? Have you ever Iied about the president's health? What is your answer? Many, many times.
-Mr.
Connelly? -Y es.
I' m Donna Moss, Josh Lyman's assistant.
He's tied up with Mr.
McGarry.
I hope you don't mind waiting.
No.
Does anybody know if it's gonna rain this afternoon? They' re asking me.
-The paper said mid-afternoon.
-So we know it won't be that.
-Call the Navy Y ard for me, would you? -Y eah.
-Donna.
-Y eah.
-Have you seen C.
J.
? -No, what's so funny? Ed just got a fax from.
I' m sorry.
Ed got a fax from a man named Byron T almadge.
He's the associate administrator for NASA's Office of Space Cadets.
-FIight.
-Office of Space FIight.
-The OSF.
-What'd the fax say? A Chinese satellite is gonna crash to Earth and we don't know where and when.
-Seriously? -Y eah, it's right here in the fax.
A satellite is crashing to Earth and NASA sent us a fax? -Y eah.
-This is for real? Yes.
-A satellite is gonna crash into the Earth? -Y es.
-Why are you Iaughing? -We thought it was funny.
What am I supposed to do with this? The fax was for C.
J.
Just give it to her when you see her.
Donna, they say it's not gonna rain this afternoon.
Well, that's a relief.
-Hear me out on this, okay? -Y eah.
We want to see some polling.
-Why? -We need to know what to do next.
-We know what to do.
-We don't know which is the more insurmountable problem, the perception that-- We'II call back.
The perception that he's not physically up to the job or that he Iied about it.
There's no way to gauge public opinion on this until the issue occurs.
Public opinion is gonna be shaped by the press.
AII public opinion is shaped by the press but the fundamental foundation already exists in their perception of-- -How are you gonna take a poll--? -We can do it.
-Look-- -Leo.
I don't trust any of our people and even if I did what questions could they ask that won't trip an alarm? Josh trusts Joey Lucas.
-From California? -Y eah, she's flying in.
-What did you tell her? -That we were commissioning a poll to explore attitudes toward subsurface agricultural products.
-Subsurface agricultural-- -Underground.
-What the hell--? -Americans eat more beets.
-Beets? -Y eah.
-AII right.
-Okay? Y eah.
T oby, you want to talk about when we tell Sam? -I wouldn't do it right now.
-Why? His head is in the SME speech for Chicago.
-The thing-- -Hang on.
His head is in Chicago.
That's where we need it.
Would you want to write the speech with this around your neck? No.
The president wants him to know by the end of the day.
-The end of the day, then.
-Okay.
-Anything else? -No, thanks.
-Thank you.
-Thanks.
-When does she get here? -6:00.
-You do this carefully.
-No kidding.
You trust this person? I gotta trust somebody right now.
Good, because I don't trust anybody right now.
-Josh? -Y eah.
A fax was sent to the Press Office from the Office of Space FIight at NASA.
A Chinese satellite called Zodiac has fallen out of its orbit and will be falling to Earth at an unspecified time and place.
-What are you telling me for? -What am I telling you for? This thing is falling to Earth.
Isn't there something we do? -Like what? -Like sound the alarm, I don't know.
-Sound the alarm? -There is no alarm.
-There's really not.
Martin? -Y es.
-Sorry to keep you.
-That's okay.
Come on back.
The fax is for the Press Office.
Give it to them.
The deputies are at breakfast and I don't know where C.
J.
is.
Martin, you can have a seat in my office.
C.
J.
's meeting with Babish.
I'II be inside.
-You' re not concerned about this? -No.
-I apologize again.
-No, that's all right.
-I assume you know why I' m here.
-I don't, actually.
-Mac Sheridan was gonna talk to you.
-I have a call to return to Mac.
-I should wait until he talks to you.
-Why don't you talk to me now? The case is running out of money.
-Which case? -The USV-- -You' re kidding me.
-No.
Martin, we spent 1 3 million the first year 23 million the second.
Where's the money going? Outside counsel and staff, depositions expert witnesses, processing, database, research-- We have 31 Iawyers on a case against five tobacco companies just one of which has 342.
We won't count the 1 3 subsidiaries that have mounted their own defense.
T obacco has spent $380 million to the government's 36.
When I come asking for money, it's not because the Justice Department blew its allowance on video games.
-I should've Iet Mac talk to you first.
-Aren't you allowed to transfer funds--? That's what we've been doing.
We've transferred money from Health and Human Services to pay for the Iawsuit, but then the House passed H.
R.
260 -and now the committees-- -Y eah.
-You understand? -Y eah, Iet me run it by Leo.
-This is a fight worth winning.
-You don't have to convince me.
These people perpetrated a fraud against the public.
I' m sorry? I said, they perpetrated a fraud against the public.
-The tobacco companies? -Yeah.
Well, I' m gonna talk to Leo, and I'II tell Mac you were here.
Thank you.
Let me just finish this.
He was hemodynamically stable with a blood pressure of 140/80.
Cholesterol level is 185.
The QRS interval on the EKG is slightly long, but otherwise good.
The president is pronounced in excellent physical health.
-Was that March of Iast year? -How many times have you done that? -I'd have to go and check.
-Estimate.
If that was March of Iast year, then that was his fourth physical.
A couple of times during the campaign.
-And after the shooting.
-Y eah? -The time he rode his bicycle into a tree.
-When he sprained his ankle? T ell me how it works.
-What do you mean? -When the president has a physical.
The president's physician.
Right now it's Admiral Leonard Morrow.
The president's physician calls and gives me a short statement, including vitals.
-Then you make a statement? -Yeah.
-Do you speak to the president before? -Y es.
-Why? -Because of doctor-patient confidentiality.
-You only get so much from the doctor.
-What do you ask? " Is there anything I should know the doctors won't tell me? " -I' m gonna ask you something.
-What? Do you say, " Is there anything I should know? " Or do you say, " Is there anything I need to know? " -What does it matter? -Which do you say? " Is there anything I need to know? " implies you want to know enough to face reporters while maintaining deniability.
-It's an expression.
-Did you use it? I really don't remember, I don't.
-I don't choose words that carefully.
-With the president? -You think I speak to him in code? -No, I was just asking.
Yeah.
Excuse me.
C.
J.
, this is a note from Donna Moss.
-She wanted you to see it right away.
-Thanks.
The sky is falling down.
"The debate over a tax cut, whether to have one or not how Iarge it should be, how small it should be what share should be received by whom.
AII of this, my friends is the wrong debate at the wrong time over the wrong issue.
" -We need to get back to fundamentals.
-Where is that? -Where's what? -"We need to get back to fundamentals.
" It's not in the speech, I' m saying it.
We need to get back to fundamentals.
Excuse me.
Think about fundamentals.
-You ready for some good news? -Y eah.
Not out here.
This is gonna be a front-page story.
There's a front-page story I don't know about yet? -You'II know about it in two hours.
-But I' m gonna know about it now, right? The CBO's gonna issue a new estimate of the surplus.
-They' re projecting down? -Y eah.
-We don't have as much money? -No.
-That's great news.
-Y eah.
It's not great news we have Iess money.
The floor fight's gonna be easier.
-Y eah.
-How much Iess money? Eight years out it's 200 billion Iess.
Nine years out it's 400 billion Iess.
-That is great.
-Yep.
-It's not great that we have-- -We get why it's great.
I can't tell you how much this helps.
I' m drafting the SME speech for Chicago-- That's why we' re telling you.
There's a Iine that ATJ and the Progressive Caucus want in the speech-- I got it here.
"We want a real tax cut for working families to help them pay for education and housing while our opponents want to help the rich pay for bigger swimming pools and faster private jets.
" -No, I don't think so.
-They want it in.
Why not? -It's bad writing.
-Change the writing.
-"Summer homes and sports cars.
" -The poetry is not my problem.
-They want it in Chicago.
-Well, tell them to do their own speech.
-You want to tell them that? -No.
-Okay.
-We have Iess money? -Isn't that great? -Y es, it is.
Thanks.
Are you aware that a year ago January the president had an attack? -I am now.
-You were there when he collapsed.
I was outside the room.
-You went in and he was unconscious.
-Y es.
What made you go into the room? The sound of a Steuben glass pitcher crashing to the floor.
-What'd you think had happened? -I didn't know.
Well, what'd you think? At first glance, I thought he might have a virus contracted from a rare African tsetse fly, possibly tropical sprue.
I' m not an expert, but I did meet a man in India.
It could be anything with presidents.
James Polk had diverticulitis.
-Yeah.
-He couldn't digest nuts.
One in 40 American men wear women's clothing.
We've had over 40 presidents.
One of these guys was dancing around the Oval Office in a prom dress.
Let's get to the bottom of that.
-C.
J.
? -Y eah.
In my entire Iife I've never found anything charming.
Really? -You announced that it was the flu.
-Y es.
-Who told you to say it? -I wasn't told to say it was the flu I was told it was the flu.
I' m not getting into that.
I' m not getting into who said what.
We can do that at the next session.
Okay.
Do you know what time it is? It's five past noon.
I'd Iike you to get out of the habit of doing that.
-Doing what? -Answering more than was asked.
Do you know what time it is? Yes.
We'II take a break and meet again Iater today.
-Hey.
-You see this? -That was nice.
-Good reviews on the speech.
-Y eah.
-From Maynard Wachtel of all places.
-You got a second? -He calls you and me Batman and Robin.
-I don't think he does-- -He doesn't, but he should - because that's what we are.
-Okay.
We' re Batman and Robin.
-Which one's which? -Look at me, Sam, am I Robin? -I' m not Robin.
-Yes, you are.
-Okay, well, Iet's move off this.
-You bet, Iittle friend.
-We' re not Batman and Robin.
-We'II keep those identities secret.
I' m Bruce Wayne and you' re my ward.
-Dick something.
-Jane Gentry and Richard Will came to me with news.
The CBO's projection-- -Really? -Y es, has us 200 billion Iower in 8 years.
-That's fantastic news.
-Y es.
-When is this real? -This afternoon.
-The projections are Iower? -Measurably Iower.
I' m so happy I could spit.
This is the first administration in history to favor slower economic growth.
I favor it when it gives us a bat and ball on tax cuts.
We offer them a deal, we Iower the bottom rate from 1 5 to 1 0% but we stand our ground on no tax cut in the top bracket, and you know why? Because we might not be able to afford it.
-Isn't it great? -Y eah, it's Christmas in Paris.
There's a Iine ATJ and the Progressive Caucus want put in the draft for Chicago.
-What? -That we want to do great things but our opponents want bigger swimming pools and faster private jets.
-Their private jets are too slow? -T oby-- -Change the writing.
-It's not the writing.
I know.
-Listen.
-Y eah.
-Nothing.
-Okay.
Don't worry about it.
-So-- -I have to go to a meeting.
-T alk to somebody at ATJ or the Caucus.
-Okay.
I' m gonna do that, then.
Y eah.
Okay.
-Hey, Donna.
-Hey, Charlie.
-Is there anything you need? -Nope.
Just came in to say hi.
-How you doing? -Good.
So NASA's OSF tells us that the 30th Space Wing at Vandenberg Air Force Base believes that a Chinese satellite has fallen out of its orbital flight plan.
The Iast detection the 30th had placed it in what they call a "degrading orbital path.
" And it's now dropped off their radar suggesting it's begun to fall toward the Earth's atmosphere.
-Cool.
-What's the matter with you people? -What'd I do? -A thing the size of a garbage truck is in a 2000-mile-an-hour free fall and no one knows where it'II hit.
I'II root for Zurich.
I've had it with the Swiss.
-You don't-- -Hang on.
Excuse me.
-Good afternoon.
-Welcome back, Mrs.
Bartlet.
-Thank you.
-A couple of reminders.
You' re at the board of the Children's Cancer Fund -at the Sheraton at 3-- -Before that I wanna be-- You' re gonna read at the Head Start Program.
-Welcome back, Mrs.
Bartlet.
-Snappy suit, Bobby.
-How did it go yesterday? -I got a helicopter named after me.
-Y eah? -An AS 335 F1 Twinstar named Abigail.
I got to break a bottle of cider over its nose.
Charlie.
-Welcome back, ma'am.
-Thank you.
Where's the president? -He's waiting for you inside.
-Thank you.
Hey.
-Hi.
-Welcome back.
-How come I just found out about this? -How was the flight? -How come I just found out about this? -When Leo talked to you - he thought you already knew.
-You think I' m saying this is Leo's fault? I' m asking how come you didn't tell me Iast week? And I' m saying we still do this.
We' re husband and wife and parents and before we Iaunch into intrigue we do "Welcome back, how was the flight? " -What happened? -One of the forms Zoey had to fill out for Georgetown asks for a family medical history.
Y es.
-Did Leo tell you the rest? -Not after he realized that you hadn't told me already, which is a subject I assure you, we will be returning to.
Zoey wasn't 1 8 yet when she started.
A parent had to sign the form.
-Did you sign it? -No, you did, hot pants.
-I signed it? -It's gonna be okay.
Why didn't you tell me on the phone? We talk on the phone three times a day! Because I didn't! Because that's-- Because I didn't.
I talked to Zoey this morning, she's gonna ace her finals.
-She told me.
-I hate EIIie's boyfriend.
She told me.
I need you to speak to the White House counsel, Abbey.
I know.
Hey.
-The first Iady's back? -Yeah.
I was talking to her on the phone and I mentioned Zoey's application without realizing the president hadn't told her.
-Why hadn't the president told her? -What do you want? -Thirty million dollars.
-No.
Martin Connelly, assistant attorney general, says they' re out of money.
-On the suit? -Y eah.
-They' re always out of money.
-We don't give enough.
We passed a Iaw Iast summer that says they can transfer funds from Commerce, from Health and Human Services.
They can take it from Veterans Affairs up to, what? I think $ 1 2 million.
The problem is the Iaw says those transfers are subject to approval by House committees, each of which has a chairman elected with the $8 million tobacco spent in the Iast election.
Even then it wouldn't matter, because -Neither is 30 million.
-Then Iet's give them more.
Why not? Because we' re gonna Iose.
-Give them enough to win.
-And Iiquidate the Grand T etons? They' re saying 30 million and I think it's a steal at twice the price.
Staff it out to some people and report to me on it in, what? -Two, three days? -Good.
I' m going out to the airport.
AII right.
Do a job.
Y eah.
-Hi.
-Hey, Sam.
-Henry.
Helen.
Hey, Bruce.
-How you doing, Sam? Lewis.
We just have a few minutes, right? -There's a caucus.
-You've heard the good news.
The CBO, projected eight years out, has the budget surplus coming in $200 billion Iower.
-That's great.
-There's something wrong with us but that's for a different time.
I wanted to mention that Jane Gentry and Richard Will say you guys want a Iine in the Chicago draft.
-Jet planes and swimming pools.
-" Our opponents want to help the rich pay for bigger swimming pools and faster private jets.
" -Y eah.
-Hit them hard.
We are hitting hard.
I' m not gonna use the Iine.
-Why not? -First of all, it's bad writing.
-What's wrong with it? -Sounds Iike a high school girl wrote it.
Is something wrong with how women write? -There is when she's in high school.
-Sam! It's not the writing.
Come on, faster private jets and swimming pools? -We can take out the heavy bats now.
-And do what with them? -The Iine works.
-So does " How about them Cowboys? " when you' re in Dallas, but it won't change the mind of anyone who doesn't already agree.
Are you in favor of tax cuts for the wealthy? I am not.
I am in favor of tax cuts for whom it will do the most good.
That's a tough enough battle.
It Iooks Iike we've got a fair fight.
I' m not talking about policy, I' m talking about rhetoric and the men you work for need to dial it down to five.
Henry, Iast fall, every time your boss got on the stump and said : " It's time for the rich to pay their fair share, " I hid under a couch.
I Ieft Gage Whitney making which means I paid 27 times the national average in income tax.
I paid my fair share.
And the fair share of 26 other people.
And I' m happy to, because that's the only way it's gonna work.
It's in my best interest that everybody go to schools and drive on roads.
But I don't get 27 votes, the fire department doesn't come 27 times faster, and water doesn't come out of my faucet 27 times hotter.
The top 1 % of wage earners in this country pay for 22% of this country.
Let's not call them names while they do it.
-You' re not using the Iine? -No.
-Or anything Iike it? -No.
Make it clear to your people this has nothing to do -with cozying up to Republicans.
-No, why would they think that? We've got a caucus.
I know women who can write, Helen.
I know women who can blow the walls off brick buildings.
This sounds Iike a girl.
-Airlines flight 1 106 arriving.
-Joey.
-Joey, how you doing? -Hi.
-I' m Josh Lyman.
-Dale Bracket.
What happened to Kenny? He' s on vacation.
-So you' re the substitute interpreter? -Y eah.
-You came here to pick me up? -Not exactly.
Dale, I' m gonna ask you to wait over here, okay? Joey, you' re gonna read my Iips, and if I can't understand what you' re saying you'II write it down, all right? -Okay.
-Excuse us.
-Dale? -Y es.
He's pretty good-Iooking for an interpreter, wouldn't you say? He's good-Iooking for anybody.
-Dale Bracket? -Y es.
And he's not a television detective? We can't talk about this in the car? -I' m sorry? -We can't talk about this in the car? -You' re not getting in the car.
-Why? Because you' re getting back on a plane in an hour and 1 0 minutes.
AII right, if we sit Iike this, can Dale Bracket, PI read my Iips? No.
Okay.
You' re not talking to me about an agriculture poll.
-No kidding.
-You guessed that? We think we' re eating more beets? Well, we are, but that's not important.
Well, what's important? -Hi, what can I get for you? -Cranberry juice and club soda and I'II have a Iarge glass of ice water.
I told Leo McGarry that we could trust you and T oby backed me up.
What's important? Eight years ago the president was diagnosed with an illness that was never disclosed.
Y es.
What is it? Cranberry and club and a Iarge glass of ice water.
-Excuse me, the first Iady.
-Thank you.
-OIiver.
-Good afternoon, Mrs.
Bartlet.
-How are you? -Fine, thank you.
I haven't been in this office since you moved in.
It Iooks great.
-Thank you.
-I haven't come in here because it seems that every time I do, there's a new counsel.
Leo keeps them in the basement Iike those Iadies in Arsenic and Old Lace.
-Y eah.
-Anyway the president's very glad you' re here, particularly in this time of nonsense.
Would you mind if I asked a few questions? I' m not as experienced in this as the senior staff.
I read a book about Daniel Webster.
I read a book about Benjamin Disraeli.
What experience I do have is with dead Iawyers.
Just out of curiosity, how'd they die? If you' re under the impression you' re the fifth White House counsel instead of the first because of me, you' re mistaken, OIiver.
I wasn't under that impression, but we should stick to the matter.
-You want to ask me some questions.
-Y es.
-About Zoey's health form.
-Y ep.
It was a form.
It asked for, among other things, a family's medical history.
It was blank.
It was a form, one of many forms.
I signed it without reading it.
-Was anyone in the room? -It was a year ago, I don't remember.
-Was the president in the room? -I don't remember.
When I ask the president that, he's gonna tell the truth.
And the president will also resent your implication that I didn't do the same.
-The president wasn't in the room? -I don't remember.
He doesn't remember.
-Mrs.
Bartlet-- -OIiver, you have kids.
There are forms.
School trips and soccer and band uniforms and report cards and notes to get out of gym.
-You signed those forms.
-Their mother signs them.
So do I.
And by the way, when you' re the daughter of the president of the United States, there's a Iot more forms on top of that.
-I understand.
-Do you? Y es, but a Iawyer half my size while cross-examining you, will say the following : " Do you have an MD from Harvard? Are you certified in internal medicine? Are you certified in thoracic surgery? Are you a professor at Harvard? Are you on the staff at Boston Mercy? Have you practiced medicine for 26 years? Are you not able to recognize a medical history form when it is in front of you? " I didn't read it.
I didn't think it was important.
"What else have you signed without thinking? Prescriptions? Patient instructions? So just this? " OIiver, I am not an expert on diseases of the central nervous system but I can tell you that MS is not hereditary.
The president's condition has absolutely no relevance to Zoey's health status.
-Now you' re changing your story.
-No, I' m not.
Did you sign it because you were absent-minded -or because you knew best? -I signed it because-- I just signed it.
It was a form.
Making a big thing out of it is what makes it into a big thing.
-Really? -And I' m not 1 00% sure that's not what you' re going for.
-Why would I want it to be a big thing? -Because defending the president in prime time Iooks good on a résumé.
Well, I've got a pretty good-Iooking résumé already and it's not a big thing because I say so, ma'am.
It's a big thing.
You'II get all the questions I just asked and more.
And then they' re gonna ask the president if he was in the room when you signed it.
And that's when he's gonna give everyone's favorite answer from a president who has announced that he has MS, " I don't remember.
" When are you gonna go public? Probably in a week.
They' re still strategizing.
-A Iive interview on the networks? -Y eah.
Jim Lehrer, Tim Russert, Barbara Walters you, somebody, the president sitting in a den? -Y eah.
-Followed by a Iive conference.
They' re working on the strategy.
" I regret that I concealed my condition from the public.
I regret the appearance that I tried to deceive voters to win.
" Yes.
And if we don't make it a big thing, they won't? Mrs.
Bartlet, I' m not sure you have an appropriate appreciation of the size of what happens next.
-When are you going public? -Probably in about a week.
-A week? How? -We' re deciding.
Probably a Iive interview followed by a press conference.
So we need to know what we' re talking about.
Joey, we need you to put a poll in the field.
You've gotta come up with a model that gets us the answers we need without asking the questions we can't ask.
You've gotta come up with the model by yourself.
You've gotta break down the results yourself.
Not even the callers can understand the questions they' re asking.
And you've got to do it all in 96 hours.
Is what I' m describing possible? -We make it a governor.
-A governor.
Of an industrial state.
I didn't.
-The governor of an industrial state.
-Michigan.
And you give him a degenerative illness? Joey, you understand that before this is over, we' re probably all gonna be spending some time in front of a grand jury.
-You can do this? -No problem.
Los Angeles passengers preboarding flight 12 1 7, please use gate.
That's your flight.
-Josh? -Y eah.
-How is the president? -He's fine.
He's fine.
I'II tell him you asked.
-Ninety-six hours? -Y eah.
I have to go work now.
The Chinese Embassy won't admit it's their satellite.
We know it's their satellite.
We've been Iooking at it for years.
It's Iike knowing Mars is Mars.
T ell me you didn't call the Chinese Embassy.
I didn't call the embassy, people called the embassy.
-It's not Iike this isn't cause for concern.
-Right.
The Chinese news aren't reporting it because they won't admit it.
Why do you think the American news isn't reporting it? -That's a fascinating question to me.
-T o all of us.
-We don't know what kind of satellite.
-It could be anything.
-Communications.
-Right.
-It could be a spy satellite.
-It could have plutonium.
That's right.
-PIutonium? -Y eah.
-PIutonium.
-Well, nuclear reactors on a satellite aren't common, but you never know.
No, I suppose you don't.
-Hey, Donna.
-Good evening, ma'am, welcome back.
-Thank you.
-How was the trip? -I got a helicopter named after me.
-Mrs.
Bartlet.
Hello.
How are you? I' m fine, but there's a giant object hurling its way toward us at a devastating velocity.
T ell me about it.
-C.
J.
? -Good evening, ma'am.
-Can I talk to you for a second? -Sure.
How was your day? I got bitch-slapped by the White House counsel.
How about you? I wanted to be here when you were told.
I didn't know they were gonna tell you Iast night.
You know, Leo called me into the Oval Office about 1 1 :00 and I was standing with T oby when Leo called me in.
And T oby said: " I'II be right here in my office when you' re done.
" I didn't know what he meant or why he said it.
Yeah.
Babish said there's a difference between asking the president: " Is there anything I should know? " and " Is there anything I need to know? " He seemed to think " need to know " implies I know something already but I don't want it confirmed in order to maintain deniability.
Well, he's a Iawyer, C.
J.
He's vetting, it's his job.
I told him I couldn't remember which one I say.
There were a Iot of things I couldn't remember.
Abbey during the campaign we were in Manhattan, Kansas at a Sheraton or a Marriott.
I can't remember, but we were in Manhattan, Kansas.
I came to your suite early to tell you we'd be doing Nightline that night and we had to get to an ABC affiliate.
And I think by then the two of you were so used to people walking in and out of your room that you didn't hear me open the door.
And I was almost sure I saw you giving the president an injection of something.
It was Betaseron.
It reduces the frequency of the attacks.
When the president has his physical and I do the release I only ever ask " Is there anything else I need to know? " Come on in.
-She's in.
-What's she gonna do? " If the governor of a major state had a degenerative illness which he hadn't disclosed but which has yet to impair his performance, would you support him? " -Which governor? -Michigan.
Well then we'II wait.
Y eah.
Listen, about this Justice appropriation-- -You' re gonna do a report? -Y eah.
Then can I read the report before you ask me to green-Iight another multi-million dollar battle that'II have no support in Congress? Y eah.
I just brought it up because this assistant A.
G.
, Martin Connelly when he Ieft my office this morning, he turned and said: "They perpetrated a fraud against the public.
" And the Iook on his face when he said it.
They want to get these people.
We' re not big tobacco.
Yeah.
-He's expecting me.
-Okay.
Good evening, Mr.
President.
Leo, how could you tell Abbey about the health form before I did? I didn't know you hadn't told her.
My wife and I are fighting battles on several fronts at the moment including one with each other.
Can you and I be men? Can we have a bond? -We' re putting a poll in the field.
-How? We' re using a woman Josh and T oby trust named Joey Lucas.
I met Joey Lucas.
She's basically giving MS to the governor of Michigan.
-How's he gonna feel about that? -Don't worry.
-This is a bad idea.
-We've gotta do it.
I' m coming clean.
I' m doing it voluntarily.
It's gonna Iook Iike I did it because a poll told me to.
Then it'd be a good idea if nobody found out.
AII right.
Why don't you get Sam? -So.
-Y eah.
-I think I may have offended-- -Oh, God.
-Yeah.
-Who? I met with some of the staffers for Americans for T ax Justice and the Progressive Caucus.
-You think you may have offended them? -Y eah.
And girls, possibly.
-Were you right? -Y eah.
T oby, it's class-- That's all you need to tell me.
I trust you.
-Sam? -Y eah.
-Come see the president, would you? -Y eah.
-Sam? -Y eah.
I'II be here in the office when you' re done.
Y eah, okay.
-C.
J.
-Hey.
-You walking? -Yeah.
-I met with Joey Lucas today.
-I heard.
The president's got Leo worried it's gonna Iook Iike we announced it because we took a poll.
What do you think? What? The president and Leo are worried about that? Y eah.
What? You guys are Iike Butch and Sundance peering over a cliff to the boulder-filled rapids 300 feet below thinking you better not jump because there's a chance you might drown.
The president has this disease and has been Iying about it and you guys are worried that the polling might make us Iook bad? It's the fall that's gonna kill you.
-Us.
-What? You said, " It's the fall that's gonna kill you.
" You meant us.
-Where are you going, C.
J.
? -Home.
I know what you meant.
I want to sleep for a while.
I' m going home.
You know, Donna got hold of this fax that was sent to the Press Office from the OSF at NASA.
-What, something falling out of the sky? -Y eah.
-We get that fax once a week.
-Y eah, but Donna doesn't know that.
-She thinks it's an emergency.
-And you didn't want to tell her? No, the other way you get a day of entertainment without Ieaving the office.
She doesn't know that these things fall out of the sky all the time.
Once every 1 0 days, as a matter of fact.
Since the first year we started putting objects in space 1 7,000 have come back.
Remarkably, not one person has been hit.
So I suppose there's an argument to be made that we' re due.
Yeah, you picked me right up there, Josh.
-See you tomorrow.
-Y eah.