Twin Peaks s02e20 Episode Script
The Path to the Black Lodge
Hold it.
Watch it, watch it.
Hold it, hold it, hold it.
- Got it.
Got it.
- Thank you.
On your shoulder, put it on your shoulder.
- Watch the step.
- Watch the step.
Easy, easy.
If you need some help down there, say something.
- Watch it.
- Keep it coming.
- Don't go too fast.
- Easy.
That's it, come on.
You hit me in the foot.
Watch the car.
- The car's right here.
- That's it.
Watch where you step.
Oh, man.
Rusty? What was Rusty's last name? Tomasky.
He got me in with the band.
I'm a roadie.
What were you doing in Twin Peaks? We were supposed to play a gig in Knife River, but a tire on the van crapped out.
Then you met someone.
Yeah, this guy-- This guy came out of the woods, like Bigfoot or something, and he's wearing a weird suit.
And we talked to him for a while and he said he had some brew, you know, would we like some.
So Rusty went with him.
I didn't see him after that.
We'll need to get in touch with Rusty's parents.
He hated his parents.
He's staying with his uncle in Moses Lake until we were gonna-- We were gonna move.
We were gonna move to L.
A.
Andy.
My foot! Watch it.
He's taken another pawn, Harry, but he didn't tell us his move.
Windom Earle's playing off the board.
- Morning, Lucy.
- Morning, Sheriff Truman.
- Morning, Lucy.
- Agent Cooper.
Deputy Hawk is in your office, sheriff.
He's with somebody I've never seen before, but he looks really sad, so Hawk is feeding him breakfast.
Andy.
Yes, Lucy? What do you know about saving our planet? I know it's in a lot of trouble.
Andy, I'm taking fate into my own hands.
Mostly because the suspense is too much for me.
Tomorrow is D-day.
Dad Day.
In 24 hours, I will choose the father of my child.
Deputy Andy Brennan or clothing salesman Richard Tremayne.
What does that have to do with the Miss Twin Peaks contest? L-- I mean, we could use the money.
We could also use a father.
So I have to make a speech about saving our planet, which is a great concept, but I have no idea how to go about it.
Yet.
I do know that people have got to stop sinking their beer cans in Pearl Lake when they're fishing.
Beer cans.
And Styrofoam never dies for as long as you live.
It doesn't? - Randy, has Audrey returned? - No, sir.
- No messages from her? - No, sir.
Would you send someone up for my bags, please? Certainly.
The insurance companies send me so many forms that I could get a heart attack just lifting them.
You're fine.
It's what's in your heart you should be worried about.
I know that I have given you reason to doubt me.
But I am only interested in doing the right thing for everybody.
Then stay away from Eileen.
I can't.
Not as long as the lie survives.
Damn it, Ben.
It's not that simple.
I believe you.
I applaud your desire to do the right thing.
But goodness in you is-- It's like a time bomb.
There's nothing good about ruined lives.
It is a confusing and difficult process.
But I must continue.
Sorry, Will.
Excuse me.
- Jack, come on in.
- Hi.
You know Will Hayward? Yes, hello.
I've met your daughter.
She's a lovely girl.
Yeah, should be getting back to my office.
Nice to see you again, John.
Ben, be careful, please.
I've been looking for Audrey.
She should be back any minute.
Ben, I gotta go.
They're gassing up the jet as we speak.
Well, you can call her when you get to wherever it is you are in such a hurry to get to.
A friend of mine-- He was more than a friend, he was a partner.
--he's been murdered.
Female child.
Mother, Eileen Hayward.
Daughter, Donna Marie.
Father Donna? Donna, where are you? - What is it, Mom? - Deputy Hawk is on the phone.
I'll be right there.
He says it's important.
- Ms.
Horne, I have several messages.
- Great.
I'll take that for you.
Okay.
Thanks.
Audrey.
Agent Cooper would like to see you at the sheriff's station.
Oh, well, I have a lot of work to do.
Maybe this afternoon.
Now.
It's important.
Okay.
But what about Stop Ghostwood? How am I supposed to get ahold of you? I need more time.
A brave man is dead.
He's my friend, and I have to take his place.
You aren't coming back, are you? Damn this rainforest business anyway.
You can handle this without me.
I don't know.
I'm afraid that I'm weak.
Ben Horne, weak? I find that hard to believe.
Strive for goodness, huh? Tell the hardest truth first.
Just do the best you can.
That's all you really can do.
Well, I'm sorry that Audrey wasn't here.
I want you to give her something for me.
Tell her l-- Just give it to her, will you? Good luck.
See if any of these symbols have to do with harvest schedules or ancient calendars.
Look for any curious nomenclature.
Got it, chief.
Good work, Cappy.
- Major.
How goes the battle? - Harry.
- Agent Cooper.
- Major, you look bushed.
Well, I spent the night obtaining and perusing the Project Blue Book files regarding Windom Earle.
I found it impossible to sleep after.
What have you gleaned? Earle was the best and brightest among us.
But when our attention turned from outer space to the wooded areas surrounding Twin Peaks, he became destructively obsessive.
Earle acted in an overzealous and secretive manner.
Possessive of his assignments, finally violent.
He was removed from the project.
I found this in the project archives.
These-- These evil sorcerers, dugpas, they're called, they cultivate evil for the sake of evil, nothing else.
They express themselves in darkness for darkness without leavening motive.
Now, this-- This ardent purity allows them to access a secret place where the cultivation of evil proceeds in exponential fashion, and with it, the furtherance of evil's resulting power.
This place of power is tangible and as such, it can be found, entered and perhaps utilized in some fashion.
The dugpas have many names for it, but chief among them is the-- Is the Black Lodge.
You don't believe me, do you? You think I'm mad.
Overworked.
Go away.
Gentlemen, when Windom Earle arrived in Twin Peaks, I assumed he had come for vengeance.
For me.
But I miscalculated.
He has insinuated himself into the lives of people I care for.
He has murdered innocents.
He has engaged us in subterfuge and red herring.
A fish I don't particularly care for.
But all of these acts are merely camouflage.
He's been after something else all along: The Black Lodge.
Fellas, we need to find out what this, the Black Lodge, has to do with that.
Do you really believe there's a connection? Windom Earle does, Harry.
All right.
Harry, we're gonna go through these files from top to bottom.
Cappy, I want you to dig up everything you can about the dugpas.
Major, I think you'd better hit the sack.
I could use a good stretch.
Perhaps a walk in the woods to clear my mind.
Good idea.
Don't forget the bread crumbs.
Right.
Harry, let's do it.
You know, Leo, the only thing that Columbus discovered was that he was lost.
Cooper and the gang haven't even left the snide yet.
I know something they don't know.
I know something young Dale merely suspects.
Project Blue Book.
Little men, pewits loaded with optimism.
They were a deterrent so slight it was practically encouragement.
Yet I would like to ask Major Briggs a question or three.
Polish up that bald nub of his and see what shines.
Perhaps, Leo, we too should venture out for a good stretch.
Wouldn't it be fun to have a Project Blue Book reunion? Wine, cheese, talk about old times, trade hilarious anecdotes of the good old days.
I wonder what amongst my detritus I can use to spice up Briggs' life.
Leo, stop dawdling.
If you were outside, you'd have trouble with pigeons.
"And that's the only way we're ever going to save the trees.
It's time to stand up and kick some butt for our environment.
Before it's too late for all of us.
" It's beautiful, letter-perfect.
I don't know about the "kick butt" part.
How about "fight"? It's time to stand up and fight for our environment.
Much better.
Shelly, I've been thinking.
Oh, Bobby, I know, I know, I know.
- The speech counts double-- - Forget about the contest.
I've been thinking about us.
You have? I know that I have not been paying the right kind of attention to you lately.
I got busy with Mr.
Horne.
I started wearing suits, okay, and suddenly I'm walking around like I'm more important than everybody else.
You were pretty crummy.
Bobby, I've missed you.
I've missed all the things we used to do together.
When I saw you kissing that guysomething snapped.
It was like my brain rolled over, and I could see all the stuff that was special to me.
All the stuff that matters.
I love you, Shelly.
And I wanna spend my time with that.
I mean, you know, if that's okay with you, I'd like to do that, you know Bobby, what do you think? Lucky.
Lucky me.
Shelly, telephone.
Agent Cooper's on the line.
He needs to talk to you.
Now, Shelly, he says it's important.
- I've got great news.
- What? It's going to be Norma Jennings and Richard Tremayne.
Tremayne is the third judge.
It's in the bag.
Well, now, I have to be sure.
Baby, I have to be sure I'm gonna win.
Oh, my God, this guy's British or Bahamian or something.
He's bound to fall for your charms.
We'll find some way to get you two together, alone.
And then, you put on a dress with a slit.
Oh, the slit cut halfway up to Seattle.
And then, nestle in real close to him and when he gets a look at those gams and smells that French perfume dripping off you and then becomes lost in those brown eyes Oh, stop it.
Stop it.
Stop it, you vixen, you.
I can't stand it anymore.
Why can't we just elope and No.
Now, not until I've won, darling.
Then, and only then, I will marry you.
Oh, you're so strict, darling.
And I am the blasted mayor.
Oh, now, baby, come here.
It's okay.
It's okay.
Each of you received a piece of this poem.
Each in a curious manner, along with this invitation.
We all went to the Roadhouse, nobody showed up.
Have any of you had contact recently with a stranger? Someone who struck you as peculiar, personable or just plain puzzling? Well, there was this strange guy who said he was a friend of my father's.
Same day I got the poem, I got a $10 tip for a cup of coffee.
That's unusual.
You know, there was a funny old guy at the library.
He asked me to read the poem to him.
All three.
Shelly, take a closer look.
Does this handwriting look familiar to you? It's Leo's.
Listen carefully.
I want each of you to check in with the sheriff twice a day.
Nine o'clock in the morning, I want your parents to know your whereabouts at all times.
You walk to school, you drive to work, make sure that you do not do so alone.
Please believe me when I tell you to be very careful.
You're in danger.
We all are.
You would've appreciated the dugpas, Leo.
Ancient sorcerers bent on evil.
Rather like the Kali worshippers in India.
Another fine bunch of zanies, I can tell you.
Blood for breakfast, blood for lunch.
Those were the good old days.
- Shelly.
- Very good, Leo, you remember.
Tawdry little trollop.
Shelly.
Just between you and me, old boy, your wife has some fairly modern views on marital fidelity.
But no matter.
She is still fit for a queen.
Would you mourn her passing, Leo? I doubt it.
Her death, Leo.
Shelly's imminent demise.
It's very simple, really.
Shelly wins Miss Twin Peaks, Shelly dies.
Maybe you'd like to help.
Shelly.
No.
Good God, what have you got there? No, Leo, I'm begging you.
- I prithee.
Have mercy, Leo.
- Love Shelly.
Poor Leo.
We are all love's fools, more or less.
But you will learn, as I have, the value of hate.
Hi.
- Hi, Daddy.
- Oh, Audrey.
- Welcome home, honey.
- Thanks.
I got back this morning but Agent Cooper needed to see me, so Something's wrong? Some creep sent me a poem.
I tried to call Jack's room, but he wasn't there.
- Do you know where he is? - Audrey, while you were gone, - I had the most incredible brainstorm.
- What? The Stop Ghostwood movement needs a spokesperson.
Someone with a highly visible profile to be able to inspire our community to action.
Daddy, where's Jack? You can do it, Audrey.
As Miss Twin Peaks, you could be that spokesperson and you could use your public platform - No, Dad.
- As a forum for environmental debate.
Audrey, listen, you can do it.
Only you can take our message to the people.
Daddy, where is John Justice Wheeler? - He's gone.
- Where did he go? Some tragedy in Brazil demanded his immediate attention.
He left a letter for you, I have it here.
Daddy.
- When did he leave? - A few minutes ago to the airport.
Audrey, what about Miss Twin Peaks? I'll talk with you about this later, okay? I promise.
Audrey.
Audrey.
Audrey? Josie, I see your face.
- Randy.
- Yes.
Oh, forget it.
You.
Do you have a car? A truck.
Runs like a dream.
Great, let's go.
Wait.
Oh, I'm sorry.
Come on.
Come on.
Well, the symbols suggest a time.
Seems clear.
- A time for what? - I don't know.
At first I thought it was a signpost.
Perhaps it's an invitation.
Or both.
Where's the major? He should be here by now.
Andy, give Mrs.
Briggs a call, see if the major's home yet.
What is it, Coop? Oh, just thinking about Annie Blackburn.
Well, bless your heart, I've never known your mind to wander.
Oh, Harry, I've been feeling this way all day.
You know, I proceed as usual, my mind clear and focused and suddenly, out of nowhere, I see her face and I hear her voice.
Naturally, I try to reorient myself, come back to the task at hand, but the image remains.
Sometimes I actually feel dizzy.
A man in love is supposed to feel that way.
Well, my symptoms suggest the onset of malaria.
But I've never felt better in my life.
I'm sorry, Harry, that sounds foolish.
No, no, man, it sounds lucky.
Home, home on the range Where the deer And the antelope play Where seldom is heard A discouraging word Hello, Wilbur.
And the skies are not cloudy all day Long time no see, Briggsy.
Leo.
It looks like you've finally found your calling.
Couldn't hurt to give it a shot.
Maybe next year.
Annie, there's a whole world out there.
Jump in.
"Hear the other side.
See the other side.
" St.
Augustine.
- Coffee? - You bet.
- Something's troubling you.
- Yes.
Would you like to talk about it? Annie, I'm involved in a fairly complicated investigation requiring my complete attention.
Yet I spend most of my time thinking of you.
I know the feeling.
I've been seeing your face in fried eggs all this morning.
You know, there are those who believe in a scientific basis for attraction.
It's chemical.
Is that what it is? I don't know.
Hard to comprehend without perspective.
Yeah.
I spent five years trying to comprehend it.
Hey.
It's hard for me.
But I have faith in you, in us, because I understand it.
We're very much alike.
It helps.
We think too much.
"What we observe is not nature itself, but nature exposed to our method of questioning.
" Heisenberg.
Maybe we should go bowling.
How about dancing? I don't know how.
I'll teach you.
It's easy.
- When? - Tonight.
There he is, step on it.
Jack! Jack, stop! I guess a simple goodbye was out of the question.
I love you.
I love you too.
- Do you have to leave? - Yes.
When will you be back? I don't know.
I'm a virgin.
What? I want you to make love with me.
What? Here and now? It's your jet.
Thank God for that.
When did you first see the symbol in Owl Cave? I'm not at liberty to divulge that information.
Cheater.
What does the cave painting mean? I'm not at liberty to divulge that information.
Damn, but I love the military mind.
What is the capital of North Carolina? Raleigh.
Fat lot of good that will do me.
Major, I admire your fortitude.
Had I had the time and patience, we might continue this game indefinitely.
However I have neither.
Catch.
Your name, please? Garland Briggs.
Garland, what do you fear most in the world? The possibility that love is not enough.
Oh, Garland, please, I shall weep.
How much does your wife weigh? One hundred and fifteen pounds.
Oh, good for her.
Now, when did you first see the petroglyph in Owl Cave? In-- In dreams.
What kind of dreams? I was night fishing with Agent Cooper.
There was a light, guardian beyond it.
I was taken, but my mind Still I recognized the signs.
What do the signs mean? There's a time, if Jupiter and Saturn meet, they will receive you.
Garland, Garland.
Garland, Garland, I was hoping for a lengthy conversation.
Leo, put the major to bed.
I'm afraid his mind has begun to wander.
There's a time, if Jupiter and Saturn meet.
His woman servant, Jones, delivered this to me shortly after he died.
Eckhardt's last bequest.
A clever jape, perhaps, or something of value.
Try this.
No, you see, there's a secret to opening each of these boxes.
And this one is about to drive me mad.
Oh, Andrew, tell me something good.
Our foreign investors are chomping at the bit from Paris to Beijing.
You're going to get your golf course.
Right next to The Great Northern Hotel.
And Benjamin is doing everything he can to stop us.
Well, it's too late.
When the project was still in his possession, Ben cleared every possible hurdle: The zoning, the impact statements.
He was and is his own worst enemy.
As always.
What are you doing? Nothing, Catherine, I'm just trying a few simple combinations.
- Let me, let me.
- No, Catherine.
Eckhardt's birthday.
My birthday.
The day the gift arrived.
Give it to me.
- Oh, what a bore.
- I opened it.
Andrew I'm not completely prepared for this.
Just think of it as a walking embrace, all right? Two people stepping as one would step.
- So far, so good.
- Now, just follow me.
We'll follow each other.
Good.
It's genetic memory.
Mom and Dad danced the lindy.
You've got it.
Your body feels nice against mine.
I was just thinking the same thing.
Listen, if I'm being too forward-- - I want more than your kisses.
- For instance? - I want-- - This thing on? Welcome to this final night of festivities celebrating the Miss Twin Peaks As some of you-- Damnation, is this damn thing on? What I mean is I understand why you hesitate, why you treat me with care.
The convent evokes the image of helpless women, fearful of the thought of any emotion other than those derived from scripture and prayer.
But when you hold me, when we kiss, I feel safe and eager.
I'm not afraid of anything that you make me feel or want.
Is this on? Is this on? I'm beginning to tire of his interruptions.
- Welcome to - I don't know.
I think he's cute.
- this final night of festivities - You do? I think that maybe I will enter after all.
- The Miss Twin Peaks contest? - Why not? "Hear the other side.
See the other side.
" There's worse places to start than Miss Twin Peaks.
It's like a fairy tale.
And you're the queen.
No.
What a gyp.
Finally meet the man of my dreams, next thing I know, he's on a plane to Brazil.
He'll be back one day.
- He promised.
- Yeah.
Well, he also promised to take me fishing and we never did.
Love stinks.
- Fishing? - Yeah.
Pearl Lake or something.
I have some tackle in the truck.
You do? Audrey, there are many cures for a broken heart, but nothing quite like a trout's leap in the moonlight.
May I? You may.
Jupiter and Saturn meet Oh, what a crop of mummy wheat The planets our babbling major spoke of are more than distant orbs.
They are, in fact, a clock.
A clock that tells the time.
And the time Time draws nearer with each ticking tock.
Dale wasn't far wrong.
The cave painting is an invitation of sorts, telling us when the revels begin.
But what Dale doesn't know is where to find it.
For, you see, the cave painting is not only an invitation, it is also a map.
A map to the Black Lodge! There's something wrong.
This isn't right.
There's something wrong here.
Watch it, watch it.
Hold it, hold it, hold it.
- Got it.
Got it.
- Thank you.
On your shoulder, put it on your shoulder.
- Watch the step.
- Watch the step.
Easy, easy.
If you need some help down there, say something.
- Watch it.
- Keep it coming.
- Don't go too fast.
- Easy.
That's it, come on.
You hit me in the foot.
Watch the car.
- The car's right here.
- That's it.
Watch where you step.
Oh, man.
Rusty? What was Rusty's last name? Tomasky.
He got me in with the band.
I'm a roadie.
What were you doing in Twin Peaks? We were supposed to play a gig in Knife River, but a tire on the van crapped out.
Then you met someone.
Yeah, this guy-- This guy came out of the woods, like Bigfoot or something, and he's wearing a weird suit.
And we talked to him for a while and he said he had some brew, you know, would we like some.
So Rusty went with him.
I didn't see him after that.
We'll need to get in touch with Rusty's parents.
He hated his parents.
He's staying with his uncle in Moses Lake until we were gonna-- We were gonna move.
We were gonna move to L.
A.
Andy.
My foot! Watch it.
He's taken another pawn, Harry, but he didn't tell us his move.
Windom Earle's playing off the board.
- Morning, Lucy.
- Morning, Sheriff Truman.
- Morning, Lucy.
- Agent Cooper.
Deputy Hawk is in your office, sheriff.
He's with somebody I've never seen before, but he looks really sad, so Hawk is feeding him breakfast.
Andy.
Yes, Lucy? What do you know about saving our planet? I know it's in a lot of trouble.
Andy, I'm taking fate into my own hands.
Mostly because the suspense is too much for me.
Tomorrow is D-day.
Dad Day.
In 24 hours, I will choose the father of my child.
Deputy Andy Brennan or clothing salesman Richard Tremayne.
What does that have to do with the Miss Twin Peaks contest? L-- I mean, we could use the money.
We could also use a father.
So I have to make a speech about saving our planet, which is a great concept, but I have no idea how to go about it.
Yet.
I do know that people have got to stop sinking their beer cans in Pearl Lake when they're fishing.
Beer cans.
And Styrofoam never dies for as long as you live.
It doesn't? - Randy, has Audrey returned? - No, sir.
- No messages from her? - No, sir.
Would you send someone up for my bags, please? Certainly.
The insurance companies send me so many forms that I could get a heart attack just lifting them.
You're fine.
It's what's in your heart you should be worried about.
I know that I have given you reason to doubt me.
But I am only interested in doing the right thing for everybody.
Then stay away from Eileen.
I can't.
Not as long as the lie survives.
Damn it, Ben.
It's not that simple.
I believe you.
I applaud your desire to do the right thing.
But goodness in you is-- It's like a time bomb.
There's nothing good about ruined lives.
It is a confusing and difficult process.
But I must continue.
Sorry, Will.
Excuse me.
- Jack, come on in.
- Hi.
You know Will Hayward? Yes, hello.
I've met your daughter.
She's a lovely girl.
Yeah, should be getting back to my office.
Nice to see you again, John.
Ben, be careful, please.
I've been looking for Audrey.
She should be back any minute.
Ben, I gotta go.
They're gassing up the jet as we speak.
Well, you can call her when you get to wherever it is you are in such a hurry to get to.
A friend of mine-- He was more than a friend, he was a partner.
--he's been murdered.
Female child.
Mother, Eileen Hayward.
Daughter, Donna Marie.
Father Donna? Donna, where are you? - What is it, Mom? - Deputy Hawk is on the phone.
I'll be right there.
He says it's important.
- Ms.
Horne, I have several messages.
- Great.
I'll take that for you.
Okay.
Thanks.
Audrey.
Agent Cooper would like to see you at the sheriff's station.
Oh, well, I have a lot of work to do.
Maybe this afternoon.
Now.
It's important.
Okay.
But what about Stop Ghostwood? How am I supposed to get ahold of you? I need more time.
A brave man is dead.
He's my friend, and I have to take his place.
You aren't coming back, are you? Damn this rainforest business anyway.
You can handle this without me.
I don't know.
I'm afraid that I'm weak.
Ben Horne, weak? I find that hard to believe.
Strive for goodness, huh? Tell the hardest truth first.
Just do the best you can.
That's all you really can do.
Well, I'm sorry that Audrey wasn't here.
I want you to give her something for me.
Tell her l-- Just give it to her, will you? Good luck.
See if any of these symbols have to do with harvest schedules or ancient calendars.
Look for any curious nomenclature.
Got it, chief.
Good work, Cappy.
- Major.
How goes the battle? - Harry.
- Agent Cooper.
- Major, you look bushed.
Well, I spent the night obtaining and perusing the Project Blue Book files regarding Windom Earle.
I found it impossible to sleep after.
What have you gleaned? Earle was the best and brightest among us.
But when our attention turned from outer space to the wooded areas surrounding Twin Peaks, he became destructively obsessive.
Earle acted in an overzealous and secretive manner.
Possessive of his assignments, finally violent.
He was removed from the project.
I found this in the project archives.
These-- These evil sorcerers, dugpas, they're called, they cultivate evil for the sake of evil, nothing else.
They express themselves in darkness for darkness without leavening motive.
Now, this-- This ardent purity allows them to access a secret place where the cultivation of evil proceeds in exponential fashion, and with it, the furtherance of evil's resulting power.
This place of power is tangible and as such, it can be found, entered and perhaps utilized in some fashion.
The dugpas have many names for it, but chief among them is the-- Is the Black Lodge.
You don't believe me, do you? You think I'm mad.
Overworked.
Go away.
Gentlemen, when Windom Earle arrived in Twin Peaks, I assumed he had come for vengeance.
For me.
But I miscalculated.
He has insinuated himself into the lives of people I care for.
He has murdered innocents.
He has engaged us in subterfuge and red herring.
A fish I don't particularly care for.
But all of these acts are merely camouflage.
He's been after something else all along: The Black Lodge.
Fellas, we need to find out what this, the Black Lodge, has to do with that.
Do you really believe there's a connection? Windom Earle does, Harry.
All right.
Harry, we're gonna go through these files from top to bottom.
Cappy, I want you to dig up everything you can about the dugpas.
Major, I think you'd better hit the sack.
I could use a good stretch.
Perhaps a walk in the woods to clear my mind.
Good idea.
Don't forget the bread crumbs.
Right.
Harry, let's do it.
You know, Leo, the only thing that Columbus discovered was that he was lost.
Cooper and the gang haven't even left the snide yet.
I know something they don't know.
I know something young Dale merely suspects.
Project Blue Book.
Little men, pewits loaded with optimism.
They were a deterrent so slight it was practically encouragement.
Yet I would like to ask Major Briggs a question or three.
Polish up that bald nub of his and see what shines.
Perhaps, Leo, we too should venture out for a good stretch.
Wouldn't it be fun to have a Project Blue Book reunion? Wine, cheese, talk about old times, trade hilarious anecdotes of the good old days.
I wonder what amongst my detritus I can use to spice up Briggs' life.
Leo, stop dawdling.
If you were outside, you'd have trouble with pigeons.
"And that's the only way we're ever going to save the trees.
It's time to stand up and kick some butt for our environment.
Before it's too late for all of us.
" It's beautiful, letter-perfect.
I don't know about the "kick butt" part.
How about "fight"? It's time to stand up and fight for our environment.
Much better.
Shelly, I've been thinking.
Oh, Bobby, I know, I know, I know.
- The speech counts double-- - Forget about the contest.
I've been thinking about us.
You have? I know that I have not been paying the right kind of attention to you lately.
I got busy with Mr.
Horne.
I started wearing suits, okay, and suddenly I'm walking around like I'm more important than everybody else.
You were pretty crummy.
Bobby, I've missed you.
I've missed all the things we used to do together.
When I saw you kissing that guysomething snapped.
It was like my brain rolled over, and I could see all the stuff that was special to me.
All the stuff that matters.
I love you, Shelly.
And I wanna spend my time with that.
I mean, you know, if that's okay with you, I'd like to do that, you know Bobby, what do you think? Lucky.
Lucky me.
Shelly, telephone.
Agent Cooper's on the line.
He needs to talk to you.
Now, Shelly, he says it's important.
- I've got great news.
- What? It's going to be Norma Jennings and Richard Tremayne.
Tremayne is the third judge.
It's in the bag.
Well, now, I have to be sure.
Baby, I have to be sure I'm gonna win.
Oh, my God, this guy's British or Bahamian or something.
He's bound to fall for your charms.
We'll find some way to get you two together, alone.
And then, you put on a dress with a slit.
Oh, the slit cut halfway up to Seattle.
And then, nestle in real close to him and when he gets a look at those gams and smells that French perfume dripping off you and then becomes lost in those brown eyes Oh, stop it.
Stop it.
Stop it, you vixen, you.
I can't stand it anymore.
Why can't we just elope and No.
Now, not until I've won, darling.
Then, and only then, I will marry you.
Oh, you're so strict, darling.
And I am the blasted mayor.
Oh, now, baby, come here.
It's okay.
It's okay.
Each of you received a piece of this poem.
Each in a curious manner, along with this invitation.
We all went to the Roadhouse, nobody showed up.
Have any of you had contact recently with a stranger? Someone who struck you as peculiar, personable or just plain puzzling? Well, there was this strange guy who said he was a friend of my father's.
Same day I got the poem, I got a $10 tip for a cup of coffee.
That's unusual.
You know, there was a funny old guy at the library.
He asked me to read the poem to him.
All three.
Shelly, take a closer look.
Does this handwriting look familiar to you? It's Leo's.
Listen carefully.
I want each of you to check in with the sheriff twice a day.
Nine o'clock in the morning, I want your parents to know your whereabouts at all times.
You walk to school, you drive to work, make sure that you do not do so alone.
Please believe me when I tell you to be very careful.
You're in danger.
We all are.
You would've appreciated the dugpas, Leo.
Ancient sorcerers bent on evil.
Rather like the Kali worshippers in India.
Another fine bunch of zanies, I can tell you.
Blood for breakfast, blood for lunch.
Those were the good old days.
- Shelly.
- Very good, Leo, you remember.
Tawdry little trollop.
Shelly.
Just between you and me, old boy, your wife has some fairly modern views on marital fidelity.
But no matter.
She is still fit for a queen.
Would you mourn her passing, Leo? I doubt it.
Her death, Leo.
Shelly's imminent demise.
It's very simple, really.
Shelly wins Miss Twin Peaks, Shelly dies.
Maybe you'd like to help.
Shelly.
No.
Good God, what have you got there? No, Leo, I'm begging you.
- I prithee.
Have mercy, Leo.
- Love Shelly.
Poor Leo.
We are all love's fools, more or less.
But you will learn, as I have, the value of hate.
Hi.
- Hi, Daddy.
- Oh, Audrey.
- Welcome home, honey.
- Thanks.
I got back this morning but Agent Cooper needed to see me, so Something's wrong? Some creep sent me a poem.
I tried to call Jack's room, but he wasn't there.
- Do you know where he is? - Audrey, while you were gone, - I had the most incredible brainstorm.
- What? The Stop Ghostwood movement needs a spokesperson.
Someone with a highly visible profile to be able to inspire our community to action.
Daddy, where's Jack? You can do it, Audrey.
As Miss Twin Peaks, you could be that spokesperson and you could use your public platform - No, Dad.
- As a forum for environmental debate.
Audrey, listen, you can do it.
Only you can take our message to the people.
Daddy, where is John Justice Wheeler? - He's gone.
- Where did he go? Some tragedy in Brazil demanded his immediate attention.
He left a letter for you, I have it here.
Daddy.
- When did he leave? - A few minutes ago to the airport.
Audrey, what about Miss Twin Peaks? I'll talk with you about this later, okay? I promise.
Audrey.
Audrey.
Audrey? Josie, I see your face.
- Randy.
- Yes.
Oh, forget it.
You.
Do you have a car? A truck.
Runs like a dream.
Great, let's go.
Wait.
Oh, I'm sorry.
Come on.
Come on.
Well, the symbols suggest a time.
Seems clear.
- A time for what? - I don't know.
At first I thought it was a signpost.
Perhaps it's an invitation.
Or both.
Where's the major? He should be here by now.
Andy, give Mrs.
Briggs a call, see if the major's home yet.
What is it, Coop? Oh, just thinking about Annie Blackburn.
Well, bless your heart, I've never known your mind to wander.
Oh, Harry, I've been feeling this way all day.
You know, I proceed as usual, my mind clear and focused and suddenly, out of nowhere, I see her face and I hear her voice.
Naturally, I try to reorient myself, come back to the task at hand, but the image remains.
Sometimes I actually feel dizzy.
A man in love is supposed to feel that way.
Well, my symptoms suggest the onset of malaria.
But I've never felt better in my life.
I'm sorry, Harry, that sounds foolish.
No, no, man, it sounds lucky.
Home, home on the range Where the deer And the antelope play Where seldom is heard A discouraging word Hello, Wilbur.
And the skies are not cloudy all day Long time no see, Briggsy.
Leo.
It looks like you've finally found your calling.
Couldn't hurt to give it a shot.
Maybe next year.
Annie, there's a whole world out there.
Jump in.
"Hear the other side.
See the other side.
" St.
Augustine.
- Coffee? - You bet.
- Something's troubling you.
- Yes.
Would you like to talk about it? Annie, I'm involved in a fairly complicated investigation requiring my complete attention.
Yet I spend most of my time thinking of you.
I know the feeling.
I've been seeing your face in fried eggs all this morning.
You know, there are those who believe in a scientific basis for attraction.
It's chemical.
Is that what it is? I don't know.
Hard to comprehend without perspective.
Yeah.
I spent five years trying to comprehend it.
Hey.
It's hard for me.
But I have faith in you, in us, because I understand it.
We're very much alike.
It helps.
We think too much.
"What we observe is not nature itself, but nature exposed to our method of questioning.
" Heisenberg.
Maybe we should go bowling.
How about dancing? I don't know how.
I'll teach you.
It's easy.
- When? - Tonight.
There he is, step on it.
Jack! Jack, stop! I guess a simple goodbye was out of the question.
I love you.
I love you too.
- Do you have to leave? - Yes.
When will you be back? I don't know.
I'm a virgin.
What? I want you to make love with me.
What? Here and now? It's your jet.
Thank God for that.
When did you first see the symbol in Owl Cave? I'm not at liberty to divulge that information.
Cheater.
What does the cave painting mean? I'm not at liberty to divulge that information.
Damn, but I love the military mind.
What is the capital of North Carolina? Raleigh.
Fat lot of good that will do me.
Major, I admire your fortitude.
Had I had the time and patience, we might continue this game indefinitely.
However I have neither.
Catch.
Your name, please? Garland Briggs.
Garland, what do you fear most in the world? The possibility that love is not enough.
Oh, Garland, please, I shall weep.
How much does your wife weigh? One hundred and fifteen pounds.
Oh, good for her.
Now, when did you first see the petroglyph in Owl Cave? In-- In dreams.
What kind of dreams? I was night fishing with Agent Cooper.
There was a light, guardian beyond it.
I was taken, but my mind Still I recognized the signs.
What do the signs mean? There's a time, if Jupiter and Saturn meet, they will receive you.
Garland, Garland.
Garland, Garland, I was hoping for a lengthy conversation.
Leo, put the major to bed.
I'm afraid his mind has begun to wander.
There's a time, if Jupiter and Saturn meet.
His woman servant, Jones, delivered this to me shortly after he died.
Eckhardt's last bequest.
A clever jape, perhaps, or something of value.
Try this.
No, you see, there's a secret to opening each of these boxes.
And this one is about to drive me mad.
Oh, Andrew, tell me something good.
Our foreign investors are chomping at the bit from Paris to Beijing.
You're going to get your golf course.
Right next to The Great Northern Hotel.
And Benjamin is doing everything he can to stop us.
Well, it's too late.
When the project was still in his possession, Ben cleared every possible hurdle: The zoning, the impact statements.
He was and is his own worst enemy.
As always.
What are you doing? Nothing, Catherine, I'm just trying a few simple combinations.
- Let me, let me.
- No, Catherine.
Eckhardt's birthday.
My birthday.
The day the gift arrived.
Give it to me.
- Oh, what a bore.
- I opened it.
Andrew I'm not completely prepared for this.
Just think of it as a walking embrace, all right? Two people stepping as one would step.
- So far, so good.
- Now, just follow me.
We'll follow each other.
Good.
It's genetic memory.
Mom and Dad danced the lindy.
You've got it.
Your body feels nice against mine.
I was just thinking the same thing.
Listen, if I'm being too forward-- - I want more than your kisses.
- For instance? - I want-- - This thing on? Welcome to this final night of festivities celebrating the Miss Twin Peaks As some of you-- Damnation, is this damn thing on? What I mean is I understand why you hesitate, why you treat me with care.
The convent evokes the image of helpless women, fearful of the thought of any emotion other than those derived from scripture and prayer.
But when you hold me, when we kiss, I feel safe and eager.
I'm not afraid of anything that you make me feel or want.
Is this on? Is this on? I'm beginning to tire of his interruptions.
- Welcome to - I don't know.
I think he's cute.
- this final night of festivities - You do? I think that maybe I will enter after all.
- The Miss Twin Peaks contest? - Why not? "Hear the other side.
See the other side.
" There's worse places to start than Miss Twin Peaks.
It's like a fairy tale.
And you're the queen.
No.
What a gyp.
Finally meet the man of my dreams, next thing I know, he's on a plane to Brazil.
He'll be back one day.
- He promised.
- Yeah.
Well, he also promised to take me fishing and we never did.
Love stinks.
- Fishing? - Yeah.
Pearl Lake or something.
I have some tackle in the truck.
You do? Audrey, there are many cures for a broken heart, but nothing quite like a trout's leap in the moonlight.
May I? You may.
Jupiter and Saturn meet Oh, what a crop of mummy wheat The planets our babbling major spoke of are more than distant orbs.
They are, in fact, a clock.
A clock that tells the time.
And the time Time draws nearer with each ticking tock.
Dale wasn't far wrong.
The cave painting is an invitation of sorts, telling us when the revels begin.
But what Dale doesn't know is where to find it.
For, you see, the cave painting is not only an invitation, it is also a map.
A map to the Black Lodge! There's something wrong.
This isn't right.
There's something wrong here.