Wonder Woman (1976) s02e20 Episode Script

Roll the tape.
Tape rolling.
They're getting ready to pour.
Nothing.
They're no closer to finding the formula than they were five months ago.
Looks like they're packing it up for the night.
I wish they'd either discover that formula or learn to go home at a decent hour.
Who's that? That's the new janitor.
The kid's name is Alan Akroy.
A student working his way through botany school or something like that.
Look at that.
Why, that kid! He discovered the formula.
There's been a fire at the Whitaker building.
Yeah, I'm looking at the picture in the newspaper right now.
The details as to how the fire started are a little sketchy.
Yeah, that was intentional, Diana.
You see, it seems the Whitaker building housed a lab where an industrial group was developing a new explosive.
In the middle of a business district? Yeah, that's right.
According to our sources this explosive was supposed to revolutionize the industry.
It was made up of very stable easily packaged, easily handled chemicals and only when it was combined with an equally stable catalyst were they to become volatile.
Looks like somebody found the catalyst.
Just who's behind all this anyway? Hopewell International must move, and move quickly.
The fire in the lab we were using means we've succeeded.
It means the product that will bring us billions is finally within our grasp.
No, Rodney, I've been assured the explosion did not occur spontaneously.
Human hands were involved.
The human brain.
Somebody has inadvertently learned the secret of the Explo formula.
Somebody whom we must find and will find despite any and all interference by our enemies.
You get me BW on the phone.
Who are the enemies that warrant the use of such toxins? There are two.
The IADC, and Rudolph Furst Enterprises.
You're absolutely certain that this Alan Akroy caused the fire? He was in the room just before everything blew.
They didn't find any bodies.
It looks like he got out.
It also looks like whatever he accidentally did in that lab is exactly what those three Hopewell scientists have been trying to do for the past five months.
Yes, sir.
So it appears that if we find Alan Akroy and make him tell us exactly what he did in that lab then we can throw away all of our surveillance equipment and the Explo formula will be ours, free and clear.
Trouble is, Hopewell knows everything we know about Akroy.
And the IADC would like nothing better than to keep that Explo formula out of the free-enterprise system.
They've already deployed an agent: Diana Prince.
No matter.
I trust you know how important it is that we be the first to find this Alan Akroy.
Okay, you guys.
There you go.
But I'm warning you, it may be a long time before anybody does this again.
Old Uncle Alan got himself in some fix last night.
About $10 million worth.
Oh, boy.
Cripes! Holy cow! What a time to find out how far you can go on $6.
78 and one lousy change of clothes.
Come on, open up.
For Pete's sake.
Wonder if there's a law against breaking and exiting.
Good morning, Ira.
Good morning, Eve.
Regarding Alan Akroy have you tapped all the computers in the LA area that have the name Alan Akroy in their memory banks? Affirmative.
The Irac computer will now compile a profile outlining the most likely behavior.
So we can predict his moves.
That is correct.
Ira, is there anything you can tell us now that will help us find him? According to computerized records, he has yet to claim his laundry at the Clean 'Em Up Company on Orchard Blvd.
Great.
If he's running, he'll probably need those clothes.
I'll get that information to Diana.
She should be landing in Los Angeles any minute now.
Anybody home? Yeah? Hi.
I have a friend who's got some laundry here.
And I was wondering if you could tell me if he's got it yet.
Maybe.
Name? Akroy.
Alan Akroy.
The name's not in the book, but you can check out in back.
- Come on, I'll take you on a tour.
- What, step into your parlor? I bet you always wondered what happens to your clothes once you surrender them at the door.
Actually, I've always been sort of a do-it-yourselfer when it comes to cleaning and laundry.
- Oh, really? - Really.
- Do you wear polyester? - No.
If you did, this is what happens to polyester.
- That's very interesting.
- Yes.
And right here is where we dry-clean the acrylics.
You're not supposed to dry-clean acrylics.
Whoever told you that? Okay, now, wait a minute.
What's going on? It's Diana Prince from IADC.
Go get her! Diana, run! All right.
Why were you attacking Diana Prince? - To get her out of the way.
- You're after Alan Akroy, too? - Yes.
- Why? Who are you working for? - Hopewell? - Furst.
Rudolph Furst Enterprises.
- Diana.
How are you? - Well, I'm not sure.
Rudolph Furst just tried to take me to the cleaners.
- You okay? - Yeah.
Those industrialists play for keeps.
Hopewell and Furst.
You got it.
Furst is in this up to his corporate wallet.
Yeah.
Now, there's a pair to draw to.
You better get over to Furst Enterprises.
I'm on my way, Steve.
What about Akroy? I think he's in over his head.
Get a line on him? - Running.
- Any idea where? So far, just running.
Stay with it.
Bye.
- Hey, come on.
Slow up, will you? - Alan? Look, don't stop.
Just keep running.
Slow up a little bit.
I can't let anybody recognize me.
I'm in big trouble.
What's the matter? Did you just get done dumping somebody? Come on, this is serious.
I need help, bad.
Yeah, well, why don't you go ask Barbara? - Or Susan? Or Sally- - Come on, you're the only one I can trust.
No, what you mean is I'm the only one you know you can sucker.
- What do you need this time? Money? - Hey, come on, slow down, will you? I could use $50.
- Alan! - I have an explanation! I don't wanna hear your explanations.
They all begin with, "I've met this girl.
" - Meg! - I can't hear you! Listen.
You know the Whitaker building that burned down last night? I did that.
That's right, I did that.
- You burned down a building? - Yeah.
It was an accident.
Then turn yourself in.
Are you kidding? That building cost $10 million! But if it wasn't your fault, then it's okay.
These insurance companies play for keeps, you know.
They'd like nothing better than to pin this on somebody.
Those guys catch up with me and I'm dead.
This is ridiculous.
Oh, honey, I'm sorry.
Listen, Megs.
All I want is a little money so I can get out of town until this whole thing blows over, that's all.
After buying this disguise, all I've got is $3.
60.
Come on.
Help me.
Please? It would be worth $50, Alan, just to get you out of my life - once and for all.
- Great.
Oh, you're a doll.
- But I can't get it until tomorrow.
- That's okay.
Just keep running.
- Now, listen.
- What? They're probably gonna be watching you in hopes that I'll make contact.
So when you get the money, this is what I want you to do.
You go to the airport, there's an ash can underneath a poster right next to the phone booth.
Good morning, Ira.
Good morning.
How are you? A value judgment.
I am not capable ofbeing anything but accurate.
I am in Washington, D.
C.
What I am is a computer.
Why I am here is probably the reason you set me in motion.
I'm sorry I asked.
Sorrow is also something- All right.
Now, are you familiar with Hopewell Enterprises? Of course.
Then how about Furst International? Both have business and scientific interests on a global basis.
What if I added the name Alan Akroy? Am I undergoing an examination of some sort? No.
You are supposed to be doing a profile on him.
What do you know about Akroy? So far, about the same as I know about John Smith.
Look, Ira, I'm trying to help.
Now, he's involved with them.
The only reason I do not function perfectly at all times is because humans try to help.
Oh, boy.
Just get me the profile on Alan Akroy.
If you will give me time.
You've got it.
Tick-tock.
You're denying that you hired the men who attacked me? Can you prove that I did? One of them admitted you did.
What Wonder Woman drags out of people with her lasso hardly constitutes truth.
I see.
So three men who used to work for you just happened to be in the laundry and just happened to attack me.
Is that what you're saying? How they spend their time when they're not in my employ is strictly their business.
Enough with the games, okay? We both know that we're both after Alan Akroy who we both thought was gonna be in the laundry.
Alan Akroy? You and the way you do business are loathsome, Mr.
Furst.
Good day.
The lady's visit was not a long one.
Were you able to plant the homing device? Yes, sir.
I'll be on her tail from now on.
I'd advise you to exercise discretion.
The wonders that bail money can work are not infinite in number.
Hey, look.
Don't worry.
She won't spot us.
Thank you very much.
Hi, thanks a lot.
No problem.
You're heading my way.
Glad to help.
You got an appointment someplace? Oh, no.
I'm just headed out of town.
I wouldn't worry about catching your bus anymore Alan.
I'm not gonna take a bus.
Hey, how did you know my name? Hopewell International has its ways.
Oh, boy.
Just relax and leave the driving to us.
No offense, but no, thank you! Listen, no lady private eye's gonna get me! So you're leaving town, but you're not going to take the bus.
Ira just finished his profile on Alan Akroy, Diana.
And according to this thing Alan will go into hiding in Bakersfield at the home of a distant cousin.
How does Ira think he'll get there? By plane.
The very next economy flight out.
Okay, Steve, I'm on my way.
Anything else? Yeah.
Ira says Alan fell in love with the theater in high school and never quite got off the stage.
So watch for disguises.
Terrific.
Over and out.
Meggie, hi, it's Alan.
Why are you calling me? I wanted to know if you put the stuff where I told you to put it.
It's in the trashcan, in a paper bag underneath the mailbox in front of the visitor airlines counter.
Right.
Megs, you sure nobody saw you put it there? Oh, I'm sure.
My Kojak disguise worked like a charm.
Meg, come on.
Look, Alan, the money is there! Okay? Now, just pick it up and leave me alone for good, okay? Listen, there's one more thing.
- What? - Would you water my plants? They're only plants.
There's no reason for them to suffer for our mistakes.
- Our mistakes? - You know what I mean.
Oh, my gosh! I gotta go.
Water them twice a week and mist whenever you can.
I'll send you a postcard.
Bye-bye.
What do you want? - Alan Akroy? - No time.
This man's got all my money! I mean, you must've mistaken me for somebody else.
My name's Gerald Sternbach.
I know you're Alan.
Even with that disguise.
And you've got a reason to be paranoid.
But you've gotta trust me.
Sure.
With you holding my coat, I'm supposed to trust you? - I'm sorry.
Is that better? - Much.
There's no reason to be afraid.
- Nobody ever landed before.
- I'm here to help you, okay? What about her? Thank you, Wonder Woman.
But I can take over from here.
Since I've already met your counterparts at Furst Enterprises you must be with Hopewell International, Miss BW will do.
Step aside.
- Oh, boy.
- Just stay behind me.
You'll be all right.
- I don't know about this.
- Stay behind me.
All right.
Okay.
Only at a distance.
- Alan! - Keep her there.
I wouldn't try to fire this thing if I were you.
- You look like you could use some rest.
- Yeah.
You just come with me, and you won't ever have to run again.
Fine.
Okay.
Wonderful.
Just take me.
I always hated my cousin in Bakersfield anyway.
Buck up, kid.
You should be flattered.
I mean, this elevator is only used by clients and guests of Mr.
Rudolph Furst.
Who the heck is Rudolph Furst? I the heck am Rudolph Furst.
So what? Am I supposed to get sweaty palms just 'cause you bug your elevator? What am I supposed to do? Crumple up like a wet paper towel because your name is Rudolph Furst? Or throw myself at your mercy because a couple of thugs pick me up on the street, and put me in the back seat on the floor in their car and bring me in back doors and stuff? You think that scares me? You think I don't know what's going on around here? - Do you know what's going on, Mr.
Akroy? - No, what? There's really no need for you to be so emotional.
Just relax.
If you want me to relax, why don't you just call me Alan, for Pete's sakes? We all know you're responsible for burning the Whitaker building to the ground, Alan.
You're an insurance company, hey.
That's great, that's fine.
I've been looking.
Listen, I wanna tell you everything.
Listen, I did it.
It was an accident.
I didn't do it on purpose.
I wanna tell you all about it.
If you've got a confession, I'll sign it.
You got a confession? - Have you got a pen? - Alan.
We don't want you to confess to the fire.
We want you to recreate it.
- We know it wasn't your fault.
- That's right.
It was the result of an explosion.
Those chemicals in that lab that you were working on simply blew up.
That's right.
They blew up because of something you did while working.
Yes, that's right! Look, all I was doing was, I was cleaning up the counters and then I came over to this one Go on.
I want to know why I'm here.
Does it make you nervous when I call you Mr.
Akroy? - Not in the least.
- Let me tell you like it really is.
This is a holiday weekend.
And very shortly, this whole building will be empty for three whole days, with the exception of us.
Because none of us are leaving.
Not until you tell me exactly what you did to cause that fire.
- Maybe I don't wanna.
- Well, then Mr.
Akroy these next three days may very well be the last three days of your life.
- Meg Kellogg? - Yes? I'm Diana Prince with the IADC.
I'd like to ask you a few questions about Alan Akroy.
Fine.
Just don't expect any answers.
- Do you know where he is? - Nope.
- Do you have any idea where he might be? - No.
Alan might be in a lot of trouble.
Look, I don't care.
I really do not care.
That guy has dumped me five times.
First it was the stewardess then the nurse, teacher's assistant, cashier in the bookstore and finally the meter maid.
Count them.
Five times.
Little creep.
Why should I care what happens to him? I know he phoned you.
I'm not going to answer any questions.
If he's in trouble, nothing can make me happier unless possibly he fell out of a jumbo jet at 30,000 feet.
Now, listen.
Look, you want to know about Alan? Why don't you try asking Susan or Sally, or Barbara, or Cheri, or Kia, or Something tells me this is a bit of repair work Meg Kellogg did not authorize.
Meg would get off work be unable to start her car and you just happen to drop by and offer her a lift.
Yeah, but I wasn't gonna hurt her.
I mean, I just wanted to make sure she would stay put once I dropped her off at her place.
- Without the car- - Right.
Now, get in.
And please, go on.
I just wanted to make it easier for whoever has Akroy to find her.
You see, if the kid doesn't talk, and chances are he won't then they'll go after her to make him talk.
And when they did, I was going to go after them.
Now you're not going anywhere.
But you can't just leave me here like this.
Let's look at it this way.
When the police come, you can tell them exactly what you were doing there and if Hopewell bails you out again, you'll be free.
I hope I don't forget to call them.
Bye.
Come on! There's gotta be a law against this! Really, Mr.
Akroy.
You're making this unreasonably difficult.
An exact replica of the lab that was in the Whitaker building is set up downstairs.
Now, all you need do is go in and show us precisely what you did to cause the fire.
Oh, sure.
And then what happens after I tell you? Then you'll be released.
Right off to Catalina with a custom-made cement-lined suit.
No, thank you.
Mr.
Akroy, I'd like you to meet Dr.
Black.
Don't tell me he's a dentist.
No, but he will make you tell me exactly what I wish to know.
No way.
And now, Alan I want you to go back to the night of the fire.
I want you to remember and tell me everything you did before the fire started.
But you know what, Barbara? This is really a very nice apartment.
Come on, Alan.
Think back.
- It's the night before the fire.
- Oh, yeah.
You are walking up to the Whitaker building.
You're collecting your cleaning equipment.
Kia, this corner over here could use a nice plant.
How about a nice Dieffenbachia amoena? You'll like that.
Make him respond to your questions, Doctor.
Listen to me, Alan! Now, think back! It's Wednesday.
You've got your bucket and your mop.
Look, Cheryl, I'm going to take a nap.
It's been a rough day, okay? - You fool, you put him under! - But the dose was minimal! Are you trying to tell me that this drug won't work on him? Apparently not.
There must be something abnormal in his metabolism.
Of course it's abnormal! Why should it be any different than the rest of him? Ted, take Dr.
Doolittle here home.
And then go pick up the girl.
Which one are you? Hi.
It's me, Diana Prince.
We talked before, remember? In the gym? You talked.
I refused, and I still refuse.
This time I came to talk about you, Meg.
I have reason to believe that you could be in danger.
I can take care of myself.
I always have.
Why would I be in danger, anyway? Because of Alan? I'm afraid so.
Yeah.
He's really in trouble? And because you're someone that's close to him, you could be, too.
I have news for somebody.
He has thrown me over so many times that I couldn't care less if he just goes Oh, boy.
Who am I trying to kid? I am in his trailer in the middle of the night watering his plants, trying to convince you that I hate him.
- I'm the one who's in trouble.
- It's tough, isn't it? To have to do all the giving all the time.
I'm so stupid.
I give and I give and I give, and all he does- Come to you when he needs help.
He comes to you, Meg.
I mean, that means something, doesn't it? I guess so.
No need to panic.
Just relax and enjoy the ride.
You know, it's really funny.
I have dealt with spies from all over the world.
Only now I find out the most ruthless ones are in the business world.
Live and learn, I always say.
You take her up, I'll stay with Miss Disenchanted here.
Cute.
What's gonna happen? You are going to convince that turkey upstairs to spill his guts.
I'm not gonna do anything to help you.
All you'll have to do is stand, and pray that Alan is easy to convince.
- Diana.
- It's okay.
Just do as they tell you, okay? Tell Alan to stall.
You guys grabbed the wrong girl, you know? You're gonna point that gun to my head and Alan is going to yawn.
He doesn't care about me.
You might just as well have kidnapped an eggplant.
Come in, Miss Kellogg.
Welcome to Rudolph Furst Enterprises.
Megs, I care about you.
What are you talking about? You guys bug the elevator around here or something? I choose to call it data gathering.
It's amazing what you can learn about what clients say on their way up to the executive suite.
How could you think I didn't care about you? - What did I do? - Alan.
That's right, Alan.
You care about her.
And that's precisely why she's here.
You guys don't fool around, do you? Of all the girls they could've brought here, they had to bring up the one that I love.
It's my fault.
I'm sorry, Meg.
Okay, I'll tell you everything you wanna know.
Bring me to the lab.
Just do what they say.
Come on.
Come along, everyone.
The Explo formula awaits rediscovery.
Put that thing away! You see? An exact replica of the lab you were in two nights ago complete with all your cleaning implements.
Now, all you will have to do is simply recreate the explosion.
Oh, Alan.
Stall.
There's someone downstairs trying to help us.
There'll be plenty of time for sweet nothings later.
Please, Mr.
Akroy.
Begin cleaning.
What time is it, do you know? Shortly after 11:00.
Really? Oh, good.
I guess I can have my little laugh now.
Seeing as how the real Alan Akroy should have arrived at the IADC about 5, 10 minutes ago.
- What? - You heard me.
The Alan Akroy you have is a fake, darling.
You're bluffing.
You should have seen the look on the real Alan's face this morning when we made the switch at the airport.
He's a really funny guy.
- I don't believe you.
- It really doesn't matter in the least.
By morning the IADC will have the Explo formula.
And what you'll have is something resembling strawberry soda.
And I say you're lying.
But it wouldn't hurt to get a second opinion.
Gently.
Don't forget your coat.
Too much.
I'm sorry, I'm gonna have to start over again.
Now, look, you said you wanted everything just the same way it was in that other lab before it exploded, right? You're gonna have to trust me.
I'm sure that this cleaning solution is crucial, okay? Please.
You again.
Diana Prince and I aren't exactly thrilled with you, either.
Allow me to pick a floor.
I'm trapped in here! I'm trapped on the first floor! Can you get me out ofhere? Hey, listen.
You guys don't really want me to do this, do you? If these chemicals are the same, this place is gonna go up like a matchbook.
As you'll recall, the explosion resulted from a chain reaction.
We'll have plenty of time, once the reaction starts to get that beaker over here to this chamber where the explosion can be contained.
Please continue, Mr.
Akroy.
Right.
You know what? This isn't the same kind of squirt bottle.
It won't work.
You're stalling, Mr.
Akroy! Everything is identical to the way it was in the lab that night.
We were watching, remember? - Tom.
- No.
wait.
Look.
I'll do it exactly the way I did it, I promise.
Okay.
Here we go.
I always start at the far side of the room, you know.
Left to right, so I'll remember where I am.
I was spraying the counter.
Cleaned off the counter.
Just like that.
Nothing happened.
Came over to here.
Just sort of cleaned off the counter.
Here, and then And I This is where I - Are you all right? - Yeah.
Why didn't you call the police, instead of running? No one wanted to hurt you.
Hey, listen.
The last time I came clean about something was when I totaled my father's car.
- What, and he grounded you for a month? - A year.
Listen, he didn't tell those two guys anything.
Good.
Because I don't think they're ready to learn what Alan knows.
In fact, I don't think anyone's ready.
- I can make you forget.
- No! - Yeah! - No, we must have that secret! Please! I can make you forget everything that happened last Wednesday night.
Fantastic! Hey, listen.
This is the greatest thing that ever happened to me.
I mean, almost the greatest.
He's telling the truth, you know? Diana, what I should've had Wonder Woman make him forget was Barbara and Susan and Cheri and Kia.
Are you sure you can't stay for dinner? Alan would be so surprised if you were here.
No, I really am on my way to the airport.
I just checked in to see if Alan worked everything out.
Yeah.
Everybody was very understanding: the police, the insurance companies except for the people at Hopewell International and Furst Enterprises.
I don't think they're ever gonna forgive Wonder Woman for doing what she did to Alan.
Those two companies carried the spirit of competition a little too far.
They needed to be taught a lesson.
By the way, how are things working out with you and Alan? Oh, terrific.
You know what he said up there in that office? He said I was the only girl he ever cared about.
I guess it took all those other girls to make him realize that.
Come on, Ronnie, up here.
I really appreciate you doing this for me.
I hope you've got time.
I have plenty of time.
Just a little nervous about all this.
- Megs, what are you doing here? - Cooking you dinner.
It was supposed to be a surprise.
I had no idea however, that you were going to be bringing dessert! Or maybe I should just call her Number Six, okay? Hey, listen! She answered an ad from the newspaper! She's gonna water my plants while we're gone.
- Gone where? - On our honeymoon.
Alan, you've never asked me to marry you.
You never asked me to ask you.
You never asked me to ask you to ask me.
You never asked me to ask you to ask you to ask me.
But you never asked me to ask you- You never asked me to ask you- You never Why don't you ask? - Okay.
- Alan.
So I'm asking.
So, okay, I will.
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