Bunk'd (2015) s02e21 Episode Script

Now, all you have to do is guess which cup the ball is under and you win! Aww, too bad.
Hand over the candy.
Are you two tricking campers out of their candy again? Hey, you should be thanking us.
By taking their candy, we're supporting these kids' good dental health.
Yeah, you're saints.
C'mon, Xander, give it a try.
Okay, but I'm really good at these games.
I have laser-like focus.
Ooh, is that a Scooter bar? Which one is it under? I know you'll get it this time.
Rats! Ha! You lose, again.
Hand it over.
Please, please, please! One more time.
I know I can win! Too bad you have nothing left to bet.
I do! I have a gold filling! Done! Emma, go get Xander some pliers.
I think I ate a wrapper.
I told you to slow down.
You know, Griff, I had a really good time today.
Me too.
Zuri I really like you.
Wait, do you mean, you like me? Or you Like like me? I Like like you.
That's the like I was hoping for.
So, do you think maybe we could hang out sometime? Do you mean, hang out? Or "hang out" hang out? "Hang out" hang out.
Well, all right all right.
Come one, come all to the hike of your life! Oooh, that sounds neato! Tell me more! Gladly, interested camper! Tomorrow, I'll be leading an expedition to the Northeast Wildlife Preserve.
Wow! Is it true that they have the most red-eyed peeper frogs in the world? Yep! That place is packed with peepers! Nifty! Where do I sign up? Right here on this clearly marked sign-up sheet! I give up.
We've done this spiel ten times.
Whoa, Wildlife Preserves! Jam made of animals? I have got to try that! I just love this part.
She's all alone in the rain, and then there he is, with a pink umbrella That belonged to his mother.
Wow, Lou is such a romantic sap.
Look, the umbrella just broke, like their love.
Oy.
So, what's your favorite kind of music? Country.
No way! Me too! Why do you like it? Well, most of the songs are about being in prison, so I can relate.
Hey, there's this country music festival all this week at Maren Harbor.
If we can get a counselor to take us, want to go? Is NASCAR a bunch of good ol' boys turning left? Aww, look at Griff.
He's a-courtin' Zuri! Don't be silly.
Yeah, they're just friends.
Lou's right! They're a-courtin'! Aw.
Look at those two.
And those two.
I can't take all this romance! I need a tissue! You know I wish Gladys would just get a battery to power the projector.
There's tons of 'em in the lake.
You know, I'm not sure it's such a good idea for Zuri and Griff to be more than just friends.
Yeah, I kind of agree.
I mean, I like Zuri, but I think she might be a bad influence on Griff.
She gets in trouble a lot.
Excuse you? At least when Zuri gets in trouble, she gets grounded, not five years making license plates! That was the old Griff! Oh, then it must have been the new Griff who came up with the idea to con the kids out of their candy with that shell game.
I doubt it.
After all, it was Zuri who got Jorge and Tiffany involved in candy smuggling last year! You call it smuggling, I call it being a good business woman! I know we're mad at each other, but don't we want the same thing? Yeah.
Okay.
Great! Why are we still mad? I don't know, but I'm really out of breath! That Wildlife Preserve was cool.
There were so many frogs.
By the way, when you kiss them, they don't turn into princesses.
Nobody thought that.
And Ravi, we left three hours ago.
Shouldn't we be back at camp by now? We are taking the longer, scenic route To take in the scenery.
We're lost.
Big time.
Hey, look, a booth! Maybe there's someone in it that can help us.
Hello? Oh, cheese and crackers! I thought you were a bear.
Do bears knock? Well, the polite ones do.
The name's Marie Poutine.
Border Patrol Guard by day, professional funny lady by night.
Border patrol? How far did we hike? Well, I don't know where you started, but you're in Canada now.
We're in Canada? And I understood what she said.
So, I speak English, Spanish, and Canad-ese.
Aww, looks like this guy took a few too many pucks to the head, eh? We are trying to get back to Camp Kikiwaka.
You're gonna have to talk to the yahoo in the other booth.
Hey, cosmo! Marie! Stop screeching! Your voice is like nails on my eyeballs! Oh, I'm sorry.
Did I disrupt your precious crossword puzzle? Oh! Here's a hint.
Twelve across is you're a nerd! And you're about as funny as a beaver with a toothache.
I'll have you know The Maple Leaf Gazette called my stand-up comedy "acceptable.
" Sorry to interrupt your delightful banter, but could you give us directions back to Camp Kikiwaka? Oh, sure.
You're gonna take a left at that tree, a right at the pile of moose poop and then straight on down the dirt road.
How do you know the moose poop will be there? Oh, Marge? She's a regular as a clock.
Okay, thanks.
And remember, challenging your mind with a puzzle does not make you a nerd.
Yes, it does.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
I can't let you back into these United States without seeing some proper identification.
But we were just on a hike.
We do not have any ID on us.
Then I guess you're stuck in Canada, with her.
What? This is terrible.
Well, at least I know the language.
Griff, we need to talk.
What? I did a courtesy flush.
It's not about that, but thank you.
It's about you and Zuri.
Yeah, man.
I really like her.
See, that's the problem.
I'm not sure it's a good idea for you two to hang out.
What? Why? Because you've been doing so well here, and Zuri's not exactly a rule follower.
I know.
Isn't she great? Not for you.
Who are you to tell me that? I'm the one who helped you get into this camp, so you're my responsibility.
And I don't want you to get in trouble and wind up back in juvie.
We're not gonna get in trouble, and this is none of your business! Griff, as your friend, it's my job to make sure you don't go down the wrong path.
Yet last week you took us on a hike, and we ended up in a bears' den! And then I bravely played dead to make the bear go away.
Oh, please, you fainted.
Still counts! What do you mean you don't want me hanging out with Griff? Zuri, I'm really sorry, but it's my job as your big sister to look out for you.
This isn't fair! If life were fair, Chris Hemsworth would be our cook instead of Murphy.
Look, I can't have your first relationship be with an ex-felon.
Just because Griff went to juvie doesn't mean I'll end up there.
Well, I can't take that chance.
And I'm not willing to call Mom and Dad and tell them their little girl was nabbed by the coppers and is doin' a stint in the pokey! You have got to stop watching those old movies.
Look, Zuri, you've gotten in a lot of trouble at camp.
I have not! Name one time.
Just last week, you tried to sell this whole place to Chinese investors! They offered me twenty percent over asking! It's not your camp to sell! Zuri, I'm your big sister, and I don't want to see you get in trouble, so I need you to stop seeing Griff.
And what if I don't? Then I'll make you go to every one of Tiffany's recitals for the rest of the summer.
Well, that's just mean.
I know we did the right thing for Griff and Zuri.
Yeah, although she wasn't very happy.
Which was clear from the note attached to that snake she left in my bed.
Psst! Zuri! Griff! I really miss you! Scamming campers out of their stuff seems so meaningless without you.
And I've really missed you when I was selling Xander's filling.
I can't believe they're trying to keep us from seeing each other.
I know.
This is just like what happened to Romeo and Juliet.
What cabin are they in? They're characters, in the play by Shakespeare.
Still nothing, huh? I'm mad at Xander! They're being such jerks! And the jerks just heard that! You guys are in big trouble.
So we're talking.
What are you gonna do about it? I did not see that coming.
Ow! I hope your finger swells so much that your diamond rings don't fit anymore! You take that back right now! Howdy doody! Is a twister coming? No.
But I need to go to the infirmary.
There's a nail in my fingernail.
Watch Zuri! Okey-McDokey.
Why am I doing this? To keep me from talking to Griff.
Emma and Xander have forbidden us to see each other.
You're kidding.
This reminds me of the time back home, when my friends Johnnie and Susie were forbidden to be together.
Why were they forbidden? Well, Johnnie was a meat goat, while Susie was a milk goat.
So, you see the problem.
This just stinks.
Griff asked me to go to the country music festival in Maren Harbor, and I really want to go.
Who wouldn't? Country music and deep fried everything.
But I can't go against Emma and Xander.
Is there anything else I can do? Well, you could go tell Griff that I miss him.
Got it.
And that he's the coolest guy I've ever met.
Got it.
And no matter how hard they try to keep us apart, our burning spark of love will never be quenched I better write this down.
Griff! I have a message for you.
Is it that your legs fell asleep? No.
I'm crawling and whispering so Xander won't hear me! He's not here! Oh, great! So I got rug burn on my knees for no reason? So, what's the message? Oh, well, Zuri says she misses you.
And you're the coolest guy she's ever met, and Something about a churning bark of glove And Judi Dench? What? I got surprisingly sweaty on the way over here.
Look, I hate to play this card, but if it will help, my parents are loaded, like a baked potato.
And I can get you some of that cheddar.
Wink.
Are you trying to bribe me? With a baked potato? You're looking at some serious jail time, mister! Oh, no, I cannot go to jail! I barely survived private school! Huh, Jorge, I thought I'd heard all your noises.
That wasn't me.
It was Edward Hoppy, my frog friend I just found in the woods.
Wait a moon pie! This is a red-eyed peeper.
They're a protected species here in Canada.
Were you trying to smuggle him outta the country? No, I was just gonna take him home with me.
You, sir, are in big trouble with the Canadian government.
Not so fast.
They're already in big trouble with these United States of America.
A country with real sports, not "ice sweeping.
" How dare you! Curling is a frozen water ballet! It's people in puffy jackets doing housework! C'mon, kids.
Don't you move an inch! You are not taking those kids We just created an international incident.
What? No! Up until now my list of crimes was limited to ignoring curfew! Wow, you actually stayed out too late? No, I came home too early.
Zuri.
I have a message for you from Griff! I mean, I have A massage as a gift For you.
I'll go get my oils.
Wait! If you're looking for Zuri, she's in the mess hall.
And I can't believe my best friend would come between me and my sister! I'm sorry.
But honestly, I think you and Xander are overreacting.
Well, I don't, and Zuri is my sister, so I need you to respect my wishes.
Fine.
For you, I will no longer water the seedlings of their beautiful young love.
Thank you.
And I'll take you up on that massage.
This situation has gotten me super tense.
Maybe we should make a run for it.
Who wants to carry me? Nobody! And Ravi, tell Jorge he's crazy.
Run! Zuri, I'm sorry, but I promised Emma that I would stop being the go-between for you and Griff? Griff's here? What? Look, guys, I know it's tough that you can't be together, but I'm going to tell you the same thing I told my goats, Johnnie and Susie Baaaahh! I hope that helps.
Look, Emma and Xander are down at the lake teaching swimming.
So we just thought we could sneak a couple minutes together to talk.
I guess that can't hurt.
But why are you packing? I, uh, like to pack when I'm sad.
We all have our quirks.
C'mon guys, I know you're planning something.
I'm not stupid.
But you are handcuffed to the furniture.
I knew these would come in handy someday.
Wait! You take these off right now! Okay, we'll go get the key! Thank you.
They're not going to get the key.
Guys, we have a huge problem! Lou, why are you handcuffed to a footboard? Because I don't feel like gnawing off my hand! Zuri and Griff have run off! What? How could you let this happen? I didn't let it happen! Do you think this is a fashion choice? I knew it! This is Griff's fault! He's corrupted my sweet little sister.
No, it's Zuri's fault! She's the one who corrupted my little Grizzly! Wait! Zuri mentioned something about a country music festival in Maren Harbor.
Maybe they went there.
That's crazy! They know they're not supposed to leave camp without a counselor.
It's dangerous! And Maren Harbor is so far away! How do they expect to get there? They must have gone to town to get the bus.
How can we stop them? I know a shortcut! Let's go! Now I know what a bathroom key at the gas station feels like.
Bribery.
Attempted escape.
Don't forget frog smuggling! I cannot believe I will have a criminal record on my permanent record.
Now I will never get into Yale! I guess I could settle for Harvard.
They will accept anyone.
And littering.
Holy Zamboni! If you cried this much during winter, you'd be a solid block of ice.
Can't you please, please just forget all this and let us go? That would be easy for Marie.
She forgets everything.
Here we go again! So I forgot the anniversary of our first date.
Big whup! Hey, I think I have an idea that might get us out of here.
So, Cosmo, Marie Where exactly do you think your relationship went wrong? I'll tell you where it went wrong.
He had so many anniversaries for us, I could barely keep track of them all! First hug, first canoe ride, first elk scones we made together So your relationship ended all because of one forgotten date? What a shame.
Indeed, but I think I know how we can work past this anniversary kerfuffle.
Kerfuffle.
Ravi, you can't just make up words.
Anyway.
What if Cosmo just chooses one anniversary to celebrate? That way, it will be easier for Marie to remember.
How about November 11th? The day we first met.
You remember? Of course I do.
You dug me out of a snow drift.
I still have the toe you helped me chop off on account of my frostbite.
Thanks so much, Tiffany.
How can we ever repay you? Well You could let us go.
Uh, I don't know You know, Cos Cos, that would mean we could have a little alone time.
Hmm? See ya, kids! Xander, when was the last time you took this "short cut"? Three years ago.
When there weren't any thorn bushes or quicksand.
Oh, don't forget the shooting range, that was fun.
It's after six.
The last bus just left for Maren Harbor.
Looks like we're too late.
I guess we should head back to camp.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, there's no way we're taking your shortcut again.
I know a better way.
So, Lou, about that shortcut.
Did you say "better" or "wetter"? In my defense, that old bridge was a lot more rickety than I remembered.
Griff! You guys have been here the whole time? Where did you think we'd be? Honestly, we thought you'd run off to that music festival by yourselves.
Well, we wanted to, but I didn't want to get Griff in trouble.
And I didn't want Zuri to get in trouble.
So, instead we just went for a picnic by the lake.
Hmm.
Looks like they're not such a bad influence on each other after all.
Maybe we did overreact a little.
A little? You boarded up our windows! We're sorry, guys.
We really should have trusted you.
So Does that mean it's okay for Zuri and me to hang out? I guess so.
In fact, maybe you guys could even go to that festival tomorrow.
I mean, if you could find a counselor who loves country music.
Ooh, me, me! Ooof! Forgot that was there.
Sorry about handcuffing you, Lou.
Do you want the key? Actually, I'm getting kind of used to it.
It's like a big ol' charm bracelet.
Hey, you know what would look great on here? A croquet mallet! Maybe we should go back and wait at the bus.
Yeah, the driver said a mechanic would be there soon to fix it.
No way.
I promised to get you to that music festival and I know a great shortcut.
They really have to fix some of the bridges around here.
Excuse me, which way is Maren Harbor? Sweet maple syrup, you guys are lost big time.
This is Canada.
Oh Well, then I guess we'll just head back to the good 'ol U.
S.
of A.
Hey, Cosmo, you have visitors.
Thanks, Poutie.
You have some ID? No.
Is that a problem?