Clarence US (2014) s02e21 Episode Script
Classroom
1 [upbeat music plays.]
I don't care what you say! I'm gonna do what I want all day! I'm the king of the world! I'm the king of the world! I'm the king of the world! I'm the king of the world! I'm the king of the world! I'm the king of the world! - # Plump, plump # - # Yum, yum, yum, yum # Plump, plump - # My granny's mac will make you # - # Plump # [School bell rings.]
[Speaking indistinctly.]
- Oh, really? - [Speaking indistinctly.]
- And how does that make you feel? - [Speaking indistinctly.]
[Sighs.]
It was just a few pennies.
Are you sure you have to do an X-ray? Yes, of course I want to get them out! But $400 seems like a lot.
Ba-ba, ba-ba, bee-ba-ba.
- Morning, fellas.
- Hey, Jeff.
Morning, Jeffrey! Yeah, okay, okay.
Just call me back after the X-ray, okay? [Sighs.]
All right, I hope you guys have got a good night's rest and you're ready for today's test.
What? [Students murmuring.]
[Chuckles.]
Test.
There's no test today, Ms.
Baker.
Mm-hmm, yeah, there is.
Uh, Unit 3 rocks and minerals test.
Hmm.
[Gasps.]
Clarence! [Giggles.]
Uh, Ms.
Baker? We can't [Gasps.]
- There's no test today.
- What are you talking about, Jeff? We're taking it right now.
Oh, shoot! Bl-bl-bl-bl.
Bl-bl-bl-bl.
[Laughing.]
Bl-bl-bl-bl-bl.
Hey, how come you stopped laughing? - Eh, wasn't funny.
- Yeah, it was.
[Deep voice.]
Ding-dong! It's me, your pal Timothy.
Have you met my wife? [High voice.]
Oh, hello! I'm his wife! Oh, you're a very fine boy! Mwah! Oh, my gosh, it's spaghetti! Mm, nom-nom! Mmm.
Mm.
Oh.
Sorry, man.
Still not very funny.
[Normal voice.]
Yes, it is.
Brady: [Thinking.]
Oh, boy.
I really got to go to the bathroom, and there's never a good time to ask.
I don't want anyone to know.
[Indistinct conversation.]
Not that they'd notice me anyway.
Ugh.
Where are they? Where are they? Okay, okay, I guess I misplaced those tests somewhere.
[Sighs.]
So, I'll just go make some copies really quick.
[Gasps.]
C-Copies?! [Thinking.]
Ah, what am I gonna do? I'm gonna fail this test! - Uh, I'll help you, Ms.
Baker.
- Oh, no.
No, that's okay, Jeff.
- Oh, no, I insist.
- Uh, okay.
[Pbht!.]
[Pbht! Pbht!.]
[Laughter.]
Hey, what is that? Chelsea: Oh, what did you eat for breakfast? I can't wait to go and visit my gran She makes macaroni cheese like only she can [Speaking indistinctly.]
Full to the brim with the three-cheese sauce The cheddar and the feta and the blue cheese Hello, little old man! I'm Sticky Note Man! I got a sticky plan! - [Laughs.]
Sticky hug.
- [Laughing.]
Clarence.
.
[Cries, gasps.]
Off! Off! Whoa, Sumo.
What's wrong? [Gasping.]
Uh, Clarence, everything you've been doing today has been real funny.
I was just holding in my laughs to mess with you.
But with that last one, I don't think you're supposed to hold in laughs that big.
I can feel it all cooped up in there.
Like some kind of laugh volcano? - I don't want to explode, Clarence.
- No, no, it's okay! How about I'll make sure that I'm gonna act very serious and you don't got to laugh no more? - Okay? - Okay.
[Gasps.]
[Slurps.]
[Harps plays.]
"Rose sat alone in Westwood Lake, pondering about her future.
All the young nymph wanted was to see the world and live a life of love and adventure.
But it seemed so impossible because she knew she belonged to the water.
She was bound to the lake, and to leave was to risk death.
But she couldn't stop herself from dreaming.
Just then, she could hear the galloping of hooves in the distance.
Even under the veil of night, she could make out his strong silhouette and chestnut hair.
The one person she was willing to risk everything for [Horse whinnies.]
Aidan.
'Hello, Rose.
'" [Giggles.]
[Whirring.]
Ms.
Baker: Ah, I should have just bought that guinea pig.
They can't eat coins.
Uh, you'd just think they'd understand how much you do for them.
Jeff, don't look at the test.
And you know.
And they'd tell themselves, you know, "Man, this person sure does care about me.
Maybe I shouldn't eat the spare change in the couch and cost them $400" [Whirring stops.]
Huh? Ugh! Of course! Excuse me, Jeff.
It probably just got unplugged over here.
Or not.
Nothing ever works in this school.
[Sighs.]
Come on.
[Grunting.]
[Thinking.]
I have to do it.
[Laughter.]
[Grunting.]
Brady, back in your seat! [Groans.]
[Pbht! Pbht! Pbht!.]
Is the test canceled? 'Cause I've got other stuff I could be doing.
No, it's still on.
We're just waiting for the I.
T.
to fix the copier.
Hey.
Everyone sit down.
Now, I know things have been hectic here, but we're not gonna let this day get away from us.
Um, okay, let me just take roll here.
- You already did that.
- Thank you, Belson.
Okay, uh, let's just work on fractions.
Fractions? [Students groan.]
A fraction distraction.
I'll help! - That's all right, Jeff.
I'll just - Oh, no, I insist.
[Buzzing.]
Uh, okay, sure.
Why not? Can't you just take the pennies in his stomach and apply that towards the bill? You see, fractions are often confused with decimals, although they cover similar stuff.
I think you'll find them way more interesting because it's a number over and over.
Let's look at this fraction for example.
You see 4/8.
Otherwise known as 1/2.
[Grunting.]
Isn't that fascinating, people? [Horse whinnies.]
Coco: "The strapping centaur was worried about his dear friend.
'Rose, what's wrong? You look so sad.
' 'Oh, Aidan! I wish I could get away from the park and this lake.
All I dream about is being able to see the world with you.
Please, Aidan, just take me away with you.
' 'My dear, Rose, you are from sea, and I am from the land.
' 'I don't care.
I want away from here.
' 'If that's your wish, then it's also my wish.
' 'Oh, Aidan.
'" Mwah! [Sighs.]
[Grunting.]
Psst! Don't worry, Sumo.
I'll make sure that I won't do anything that makes you laugh.
[Sniffing.]
[Grunting.]
[Sniffing.]
[Humming.]
Tee ta-ta too ta-doo mm, mm, mm, mm [Groans.]
Geh! [Straining.]
It just seems, like, a little extreme.
Surgery?! No, can't you just give him the medicine?! What is What is your prob How do you like that? They hung up.
Jeff: Isn't that fascinating, people? Oh, frijoles! I just remembered I left - the minerals test in my car.
- Eek! Oh, no.
It's finally over.
[Laughs.]
Oh, what a relief.
Ah, now if only I could find my car keys.
Hmm.
Where are my keys? Action distraction.
Oh, they must be somewhere.
Are they Hmm.
Put this aside.
Yes! Oh, this is old.
[Chuckles.]
Where did that come from? Oh.
Oh, I know.
They're on the roof of my car.
Oh, gosh.
I hope they're still there.
[Chuckles.]
[Sighs.]
[Pigeons cooing.]
Hey! No, bird! Jeff: [Thinking.]
This is it, Jeff You're going to take a test you haven't studied for.
Just answer what you can and pray for the best, my friend.
[Drum cadence plays.]
All good men someday die.
[Grunting.]
Coco: "They raced through the forest, not sure where they were headed, but glad to be going together.
" [Thinking.]
I feel like I'm gonna explode! Coco: "But then Rose realized something was wrong.
" [Grunting.]
'Rose, you're not well.
You must return to the lake.
' 'No.
Aidan, this this is what I want.
' [Grunting.]
'All I wanted was a little adventure with you.
' 'No! Rose!'" [Crying.]
No! "'Rose.
'" [Splashing.]
Huh? Okay, guys, I can't believe they were there, but it looks like we're ready to Ew! [Students gasp.]
- Oh - Good grief.
Oh, it's it's okay, hon.
Don't you know, it's okay.
Don't worry about it.
Uh, let's just get some dry Well, when you got to go, you got to go.
[Crying.]
[Grunting.]
Uh Ms.
Baker.
Ms.
Baker, please.
You got to listen to me.
As Sumo's best friend, I need to let you know that he has a very serious condition.
Oh, Clarence, stop! You're stepping in the [Grunting.]
laugh volcano.
- [Gasps.]
Oh, gross.
- Are you okay? [Kettle whistling.]
[Grunting.]
[Chuckling.]
[Laughing.]
[Laughing loudly.]
[Laughs.]
[Laughter.]
Oh, brother.
Ha ha ha ha ha.
[Laughter continues.]
[Laughs.]
- Uh, so, rocks and minerals and - Oh, my gosh.
Well, today's been such a weird, scattered day.
I mean, we Let's just leave it at that, huh? Who's ready to get out of here? I am.
Yes! [Reggae plays.]
[Speaking indistinctly.]
[Applause.]
Blip, blip, blip.
Blip, blip, blip.
Sticky dance.
Sticky dance.
Oh, he's okay? No surgery? Oh, it happened naturally? Cool, right? - Whoo-hoo! - Nice! [Music.]
Brady: "'I'm finally free.
'" [Silence.]
[School bell rings, indistinct conversations.]
I don't care what you say! I'm gonna do what I want all day! I'm the king of the world! I'm the king of the world! I'm the king of the world! I'm the king of the world! I'm the king of the world! I'm the king of the world! - # Plump, plump # - # Yum, yum, yum, yum # Plump, plump - # My granny's mac will make you # - # Plump # [School bell rings.]
[Speaking indistinctly.]
- Oh, really? - [Speaking indistinctly.]
- And how does that make you feel? - [Speaking indistinctly.]
[Sighs.]
It was just a few pennies.
Are you sure you have to do an X-ray? Yes, of course I want to get them out! But $400 seems like a lot.
Ba-ba, ba-ba, bee-ba-ba.
- Morning, fellas.
- Hey, Jeff.
Morning, Jeffrey! Yeah, okay, okay.
Just call me back after the X-ray, okay? [Sighs.]
All right, I hope you guys have got a good night's rest and you're ready for today's test.
What? [Students murmuring.]
[Chuckles.]
Test.
There's no test today, Ms.
Baker.
Mm-hmm, yeah, there is.
Uh, Unit 3 rocks and minerals test.
Hmm.
[Gasps.]
Clarence! [Giggles.]
Uh, Ms.
Baker? We can't [Gasps.]
- There's no test today.
- What are you talking about, Jeff? We're taking it right now.
Oh, shoot! Bl-bl-bl-bl.
Bl-bl-bl-bl.
[Laughing.]
Bl-bl-bl-bl-bl.
Hey, how come you stopped laughing? - Eh, wasn't funny.
- Yeah, it was.
[Deep voice.]
Ding-dong! It's me, your pal Timothy.
Have you met my wife? [High voice.]
Oh, hello! I'm his wife! Oh, you're a very fine boy! Mwah! Oh, my gosh, it's spaghetti! Mm, nom-nom! Mmm.
Mm.
Oh.
Sorry, man.
Still not very funny.
[Normal voice.]
Yes, it is.
Brady: [Thinking.]
Oh, boy.
I really got to go to the bathroom, and there's never a good time to ask.
I don't want anyone to know.
[Indistinct conversation.]
Not that they'd notice me anyway.
Ugh.
Where are they? Where are they? Okay, okay, I guess I misplaced those tests somewhere.
[Sighs.]
So, I'll just go make some copies really quick.
[Gasps.]
C-Copies?! [Thinking.]
Ah, what am I gonna do? I'm gonna fail this test! - Uh, I'll help you, Ms.
Baker.
- Oh, no.
No, that's okay, Jeff.
- Oh, no, I insist.
- Uh, okay.
[Pbht!.]
[Pbht! Pbht!.]
[Laughter.]
Hey, what is that? Chelsea: Oh, what did you eat for breakfast? I can't wait to go and visit my gran She makes macaroni cheese like only she can [Speaking indistinctly.]
Full to the brim with the three-cheese sauce The cheddar and the feta and the blue cheese Hello, little old man! I'm Sticky Note Man! I got a sticky plan! - [Laughs.]
Sticky hug.
- [Laughing.]
Clarence.
.
[Cries, gasps.]
Off! Off! Whoa, Sumo.
What's wrong? [Gasping.]
Uh, Clarence, everything you've been doing today has been real funny.
I was just holding in my laughs to mess with you.
But with that last one, I don't think you're supposed to hold in laughs that big.
I can feel it all cooped up in there.
Like some kind of laugh volcano? - I don't want to explode, Clarence.
- No, no, it's okay! How about I'll make sure that I'm gonna act very serious and you don't got to laugh no more? - Okay? - Okay.
[Gasps.]
[Slurps.]
[Harps plays.]
"Rose sat alone in Westwood Lake, pondering about her future.
All the young nymph wanted was to see the world and live a life of love and adventure.
But it seemed so impossible because she knew she belonged to the water.
She was bound to the lake, and to leave was to risk death.
But she couldn't stop herself from dreaming.
Just then, she could hear the galloping of hooves in the distance.
Even under the veil of night, she could make out his strong silhouette and chestnut hair.
The one person she was willing to risk everything for [Horse whinnies.]
Aidan.
'Hello, Rose.
'" [Giggles.]
[Whirring.]
Ms.
Baker: Ah, I should have just bought that guinea pig.
They can't eat coins.
Uh, you'd just think they'd understand how much you do for them.
Jeff, don't look at the test.
And you know.
And they'd tell themselves, you know, "Man, this person sure does care about me.
Maybe I shouldn't eat the spare change in the couch and cost them $400" [Whirring stops.]
Huh? Ugh! Of course! Excuse me, Jeff.
It probably just got unplugged over here.
Or not.
Nothing ever works in this school.
[Sighs.]
Come on.
[Grunting.]
[Thinking.]
I have to do it.
[Laughter.]
[Grunting.]
Brady, back in your seat! [Groans.]
[Pbht! Pbht! Pbht!.]
Is the test canceled? 'Cause I've got other stuff I could be doing.
No, it's still on.
We're just waiting for the I.
T.
to fix the copier.
Hey.
Everyone sit down.
Now, I know things have been hectic here, but we're not gonna let this day get away from us.
Um, okay, let me just take roll here.
- You already did that.
- Thank you, Belson.
Okay, uh, let's just work on fractions.
Fractions? [Students groan.]
A fraction distraction.
I'll help! - That's all right, Jeff.
I'll just - Oh, no, I insist.
[Buzzing.]
Uh, okay, sure.
Why not? Can't you just take the pennies in his stomach and apply that towards the bill? You see, fractions are often confused with decimals, although they cover similar stuff.
I think you'll find them way more interesting because it's a number over and over.
Let's look at this fraction for example.
You see 4/8.
Otherwise known as 1/2.
[Grunting.]
Isn't that fascinating, people? [Horse whinnies.]
Coco: "The strapping centaur was worried about his dear friend.
'Rose, what's wrong? You look so sad.
' 'Oh, Aidan! I wish I could get away from the park and this lake.
All I dream about is being able to see the world with you.
Please, Aidan, just take me away with you.
' 'My dear, Rose, you are from sea, and I am from the land.
' 'I don't care.
I want away from here.
' 'If that's your wish, then it's also my wish.
' 'Oh, Aidan.
'" Mwah! [Sighs.]
[Grunting.]
Psst! Don't worry, Sumo.
I'll make sure that I won't do anything that makes you laugh.
[Sniffing.]
[Grunting.]
[Sniffing.]
[Humming.]
Tee ta-ta too ta-doo mm, mm, mm, mm [Groans.]
Geh! [Straining.]
It just seems, like, a little extreme.
Surgery?! No, can't you just give him the medicine?! What is What is your prob How do you like that? They hung up.
Jeff: Isn't that fascinating, people? Oh, frijoles! I just remembered I left - the minerals test in my car.
- Eek! Oh, no.
It's finally over.
[Laughs.]
Oh, what a relief.
Ah, now if only I could find my car keys.
Hmm.
Where are my keys? Action distraction.
Oh, they must be somewhere.
Are they Hmm.
Put this aside.
Yes! Oh, this is old.
[Chuckles.]
Where did that come from? Oh.
Oh, I know.
They're on the roof of my car.
Oh, gosh.
I hope they're still there.
[Chuckles.]
[Sighs.]
[Pigeons cooing.]
Hey! No, bird! Jeff: [Thinking.]
This is it, Jeff You're going to take a test you haven't studied for.
Just answer what you can and pray for the best, my friend.
[Drum cadence plays.]
All good men someday die.
[Grunting.]
Coco: "They raced through the forest, not sure where they were headed, but glad to be going together.
" [Thinking.]
I feel like I'm gonna explode! Coco: "But then Rose realized something was wrong.
" [Grunting.]
'Rose, you're not well.
You must return to the lake.
' 'No.
Aidan, this this is what I want.
' [Grunting.]
'All I wanted was a little adventure with you.
' 'No! Rose!'" [Crying.]
No! "'Rose.
'" [Splashing.]
Huh? Okay, guys, I can't believe they were there, but it looks like we're ready to Ew! [Students gasp.]
- Oh - Good grief.
Oh, it's it's okay, hon.
Don't you know, it's okay.
Don't worry about it.
Uh, let's just get some dry Well, when you got to go, you got to go.
[Crying.]
[Grunting.]
Uh Ms.
Baker.
Ms.
Baker, please.
You got to listen to me.
As Sumo's best friend, I need to let you know that he has a very serious condition.
Oh, Clarence, stop! You're stepping in the [Grunting.]
laugh volcano.
- [Gasps.]
Oh, gross.
- Are you okay? [Kettle whistling.]
[Grunting.]
[Chuckling.]
[Laughing.]
[Laughing loudly.]
[Laughs.]
[Laughter.]
Oh, brother.
Ha ha ha ha ha.
[Laughter continues.]
[Laughs.]
- Uh, so, rocks and minerals and - Oh, my gosh.
Well, today's been such a weird, scattered day.
I mean, we Let's just leave it at that, huh? Who's ready to get out of here? I am.
Yes! [Reggae plays.]
[Speaking indistinctly.]
[Applause.]
Blip, blip, blip.
Blip, blip, blip.
Sticky dance.
Sticky dance.
Oh, he's okay? No surgery? Oh, it happened naturally? Cool, right? - Whoo-hoo! - Nice! [Music.]
Brady: "'I'm finally free.
'" [Silence.]
[School bell rings, indistinct conversations.]