Family Ties (1982) s02e21 Episode Script

I bet we've been together for a million years and I'll bet we'll be together for a million more oh, it's like I started breathing on the night we kissed and I can't remember what I ever did before what would we do, baby without us? what would we do, baby without us? and there ain't no nothin' we can't love each other through ooh-hoo what would we do, baby without us? sha-la-la-la well, Jen, you're all set.
You've got your stuffed animals, your clock radio, and your baseball cards.
Is there anything else we can get you before we go? Yeah.
Get me out of here! I don't want to have my tonsils out.
Honey, we've been through this.
Having your tonsils out is a very simple procedure.
There's nothing to worry about.
Have you had yours out, mom? Wha no.
Dad? Uh, let's see Uh.
No, I-I've still got mine.
Mallory? I wanted to.
Nice chatting with you Uh, no, you don't.
No, come on.
Come on, sweetheart.
I apologize if he isn't, but is this person related to you? Why does everybody always ask us that? This is our son, Alex.
See? Will you let go of me now, please? With pleasure.
Alex, why are you in a white coat? He's been making rounds.
I was making an informal survey of the quality of care in this institution.
My sister is gonna be up there on that table tomorrow, and I want to make sure everything is okay.
By the way, I think Mrs.
ferguson in 104 could use another Alex! You're going to have to leave now.
Visiting hours are just about over.
Please don't tell anyone he's my brother.
They might take it out on me when I'm unconscious.
Don't worry, young lady.
We are professionals.
We don't let our personal feelings interfere with our work.
A pox on you! Don't worry, Jennifer.
Everything's gonna be fine.
Honey, just relax and try and get some rest.
Okay? I'll try.
Don't worry, Jen.
You'll be back in your own bed tomorrow night.
Sleep well.
Bye.
Bye.
You know, Jen, if I were you, I would stretch this thing out, you know? I mean, have one tonsil out tomorrow, have another one out in a month or so.
You double your sympathy.
Come on, Dr.
Keaton.
Yeah, I promised Mrs.
ferguson I'd check on her.
Bye.
Jennifer: Dear diary Well, here I am in the hospital.
I'm not scared.
Well, maybe a little.
Okay, I'm petrified.
What if something happens to me? What if I never see my family again? I know I complain a lot to you about them, but I love 'em.
What if I never get to say I'm sorry for all those bad things I've done? I don't know why I've been acting so childish lately.
Maybe it's because I'm a child.
Mallory and I used to have so much fun together when we were younger.
Now she's a lot more interested in boys and clothes than she is in me.
I guess I'm jealous.
I could understand being interested in clothes, but the part about boys, I just don't get it.
Mallory, do you want to play checkers tonight? Do I look like I'm dressing for checkers, Jennifer? No, I'd say that's more of a parcheesi outfit.
Mallory, you promised you'd play with me.
I got everything all ready.
Jennifer, I don't have time for childish games.
I have a date tonight.
Do I look all right? Your cheeks are uneven.
What do you mean? I mean there's more red stuff on one side than the other.
I don't have any red stuff on.
Wow, then you're really in trouble.
Jennifer, you're making me nervous.
You're always nervous before a date.
No, I'm not.
Then why'd you brush your teeth seven times in the last hour? Maybe she's going out with a dentist.
I happen to be going out with Kevin Jenkins.
I've had a crush on him since the beginning of the year.
Do you mind, Alex? No, I don't mind.
How does Kevin feel about it? He doesn't know.
Oh.
That's Kevin.
I'm not ready.
What should I do? We'll, uh We'll entertain him while you're making yourself presentable.
Okay.
We'll, uh We'll set him up in the guest room.
Yo.
Come on in.
You must be Kevin.
You must be Alex.
Yeah, yeah.
Guess, uh Guess Mallory's told you a lot about me, huh? Yeah.
How'd your shock treatments work out? Fine.
Uh, just Fine.
Good.
Hi.
I'm Jennifer.
You're Jennifer? You know, from the way Mallory described you, I thought you were just a baby.
Ha ha Ahem.
Uh, that that's funny, isn't it? Yeah.
Goo-goo.
Tell me, Kevin, how is it that you, uh That you know our dear sister? I sit in front of her in biology.
Mallory's had a crush on you for a long time.
Uh, Jennifer I didn't know that.
I don't think you were supposed to.
Oops.
Silly me.
You know how us babies are.
So Uh, where are you two young people off to tonight? Well I thought we'd go see the, um The nuclear-disarmament film.
Mallory said she loves documentaries.
Did she? She's also said that she's interested in a lot of the same causes that I am Disarmament, protecting our natural resources, improving diplomatic relations with third-world nations.
That's our Mallory.
So, Kevin, can I interest you in some swampland in Florida? Kidding.
Joking.
Well, I got another shock treatment.
I gotta go.
They, uh, double the voltage if you're late.
Are you saying that Mallory just pretended to be interested in those things because I am? You got it.
You mean, she wouldn't be interested in a documentary on nuclear disarmament, then? She might be interested in what the protesters are wearing.
I think I get the picture.
Hi, Kevin.
Love your sweater.
See what I mean? Well, uh, Mallory, suppose you tell me where you want to go since you don't like documentaries.
But I love documentaries.
That's not what I hear.
Jennifer, what have you been telling Kevin? Just making small talk.
And what kind of movies does Mallory really like, Jennifer, huh? Why are you asking her what I like? Because maybe she'll tell me the truth.
What is that supposed to mean? Well, Jennifer's been telling me quite a lot.
Oh, really? Well, maybe you'd like to bring her along with us on the date.
Maybe I would.
I'll get my coat.
Maybe you'd rather not go out at all.
Well, maybe you'd rather not go.
Fine.
Let's not go.
I have to wash my hair tonight anyway.
Me too.
I mean, I have to shave Again.
Well See you around.
Yeah.
We'll see you.
Ready for checkers? That was really horrible, Jennifer.
Jennifer: I knew I was being horrible.
But I just couldn't stop myself.
I wanted Mallory to stay home and play with me like she used to.
I wish I'd grow up already.
Then maybe I wouldn't do so many stupid things, like the way I blew up at dad when he wouldn't let me have my way.
It started like any other day.
Mom was late, Mallory was looking in the mirror Alex was being pompous.
Hi, kids.
Bye, kids.
I will see you tonight.
Whoa, wait a minute.
Wait a minute.
What is it, Alex? Ma, don't you know that the key to a successful day is a good breakfast? Girls, make your mother some breakfast.
Frankly, I just don't have time today.
Mom, can I go to the movies with Chrissy tonight? Now, honey, you went to the movies with Chrissy last night.
That was Chrissy's birthday.
It was an exception.
I don't like you going out on a school night two nights in a row.
Well, if dad says yes, can I go? No.
And I don't want you to ask him.
I don't like it when you do that.
Now I got to run, honey.
Mom.
I worry about you.
I know the feeling.
Hey.
Morning, dad.
Mallory: Hi, dad.
Oh, hi, Alex.
Hi, sweetheart.
Hi, daddy! Oh, sweetheart.
Gee, don't you look very handsome today.
Well Thank you, Jennifer.
No, I mean it.
You know, the way a man dresses tells us a lot about him.
That tie, for example, says that you're an open-minded individual.
That's what they say.
One tie is worth a thousand words.
That's very funny, dad! Did you guys hear that? Say it again, dad, please.
One tie is worth Dad We heard it.
Hey, take it easy, dad.
My side hurts from laughing.
Ooh.
Daddy, I was thinking of going to the movies with Chrissy tonight.
You know Chrissy The one who thinks you're such a wonderful man.
I got to get out of here.
Uh What did your mother say? Mom? I know she was talking about how happy she is being married to a man like you.
I can't take it, either.
Jennifer You went to the movies last night.
It was Chrissy's birthday.
It was an exception.
I don't want you going out two school nights in a row.
Do you and mom rehearse? Jennifer.
Okay, we'll compromise.
If you don't want me going to the movies on a school night I won't go to school tomorrow.
All right.
That sounds reasonable Wait a minute! No way, j Cut it out! I thought you guys were supposed to be so Liberal, so open-minded.
Sure had me fooled.
Jennifer, I thought I made myself clear.
This discussion is over.
You can't go.
Come on, dad.
Chrissy's father said she could go.
Well, I'm not Chrissy's father, I'm your father.
Too bad for me, isn't it? Hol a minute ago, I was father of the year.
Yeah?! Well, things change fast around here, buster! And I'll tell you another thing That tie Is right-wing! Jennifer: Dear diary Guess who.
Good guess.
I keep waking up.
I guess it doesn't matter if I'm tired in the morning 'cause they're just gonna put me to sleep again.
I sure hope my surgeon's getting a good night's sleep, though.
I just dreamt that I went home after the operation, and nobody recognized me without my tonsils.
There was another girl living in my room who looked just like me, but she was a lot nicer than I am.
She didn't argue with anyone, not even Alex.
You remember Alex, don't you, diary? Sure, you do.
How could you forget him? Girls, girls.
I need your help.
I need you to rehearse with me.
I'm trying out for a part in the school play.
Now, what I'd like you to do Mallory.
Yo, Mallory.
Uh, where you going? Aren't you gonna help me? No, Alex.
I have too much respect for the theater.
Besides, "gilligan's island's" on now.
Alex, why the sudden interest in the theater? I have always been interested in the theater.
Jennifer, the theater happens to be a link to the past.
It's an art form as old as man himself A continuum of judeo-Christian amusement as we know it.
Besides, Melanie Parker's playing the female lead.
Say no more.
Uh, look, the, uh The play we're doing is called "a streetcar named desire.
" I'm trying out for the role of Stanley Kowalski.
It's a part that calls for raw, unbridled manly passion.
Maybe they'll let you work the lights.
Jennifer, can you put down the apple, please? Why? Well, because you can't read lines and chew at the same time.
Brando could do it.
You're not Brando.
That makes two of us.
All right? Hey, there, Stella, baby.
All right.
Okay, all right.
Why you laughing? Your accent.
You sound like deputy dawg.
I happen to have a perfectly acceptable Southern accent.
Susie sperber's from Virginia, and she doesn't talk like that.
I'm not doing susie sperber.
I'm doing Stanley Kowalski.
Look, Jennifer, this is very important to me.
Okay.
Okay, all right.
Listen I'm gonna go outside and pretend I'm calling you from the street.
I want you to stand right here and pretend you're answering me from the balcony.
Gotcha, Stanley.
Okay.
Hey, there, Stella, baby.
Stella-a? Hey, Stella! Jennifer! Hey, Jennifer! Jennifer: Alex didn't get the part Or Melanie Parker.
Why did I give him such a hard time? Sure, he's not a normal person, but he's a good brother.
Stella! Jennifer: He always helps me when I need it.
Mom says I should be nicer.
She's right.
I think I feel worst of all about the way I treated her.
It's not easy for her going back to work after all these years.
I haven't made it any easier.
I hope you like this.
I've never made soufflé before.
No kidding.
Is there a power saw in the garage? I'm i-I'm sure we'll love it, uh Won't we, kids? Well, I suppose it's within the realm of possibility.
Ahh.
Well, what do you think? Uh, Jennifer, can you pass me the water, please? Sure.
Thank you.
I think you went a little overboard on the pepper, Mallory.
I only put in a cup.
Boy, if mom keeps working through dinner, we're all gonna lose a lot of weight.
I'm gonna get some leftovers from the fridge.
Jennifer, your mom's working very hard now.
I'm sure she'd rather be home for dinner.
But it's a new job, and there's a lot for her to learn.
Yeah, Jennifer.
Once she knows her job is secure, she can slack off.
You know, Mallory, in your own unwitting fashion, you just explained why socialism can never work.
I wish mom were home more often.
I keep forgetting what she looks like.
That's her, Jennifer.
Hi.
What a day! The computer kept printing out football standings instead of floor plans.
And then on the way home, Steven, the car started acting up.
Will you take a look at it, please? It's in the engine But it's spreading.
We're having leftovers tonight, mom.
I kind of ruined dinner.
But I'll make it up to you when I cook breakfast tomorrow.
Did I mention I'm having breakfast in Europe tomorrow? Looks like somebody forgot to do the breakfast dishes.
Whose turn was it? Mine.
Oh.
Why didn't you do them? Guess I forgot.
Oh.
It's your responsibility to remember.
What's the difference? You're gone all day.
Who's gonna notice? Well, just because I'm working doesn't mean you can shirk your responsibilities here at home.
Why not? You do.
Uh, Mallory? I think this would be a good time for you and me to be anywhere but here.
Alex, for once in our lives, I agree with you.
I think I'll go with them.
Not until you tell me what's going on.
I'm just tired of doing so many chores all the time.
Well, nobody likes chores, but everybody has to do them.
Alex and Mallory didn't have to do so many when they were my age.
We're not talking about Alex and Mallory.
We're talking about Jennifer.
Since when did you care about Jennifer? What do you mean? Mom, if you cared about me, you wouldn't have had me last! Jennifer! Well, it's true.
When Alex and Mallory were young, you were always home for them.
I hardly ever see you.
W-why didn't you tell me you felt like this before? Because you were too busy.
Oh, it looks like we have a real problem.
Look, why why don't you sit down sit down, and we'll talk? Oh, I don't have time.
I have to do my chores.
You know, mom, ever since you started working, it's been no fun around here.
Hope you're happy.
Oh! Jennifer: Poor mom.
She got stuck with a spoiled soufflé and a spoiled brat.
How could I be so selfish? I'm so proud of her for going back to work, and being so good at it.
I want to be just like her when I grow up, except for one thing.
I want a nicer daughter than me.
Well, diary, I know one thing If I make it through this operation okay Which I probably won't, the first thing I'm gonna do is tell everyone in my family how sorry I am for all those selfish things I did to them.
Oh, sure, Mallory, go ahead and laugh.
I am never gonna be able to show my face in this hospital again, and you think it's funny.
I'm sorry, Alex.
It's just I've never seen a man faint before.
Well, keep it down.
There's nothing to be ashamed of, Alex.
It happens to a lot of people when they give blood.
Yeah, those two old ladies in front of me looked really woozy.
Great.
The next time the family gives blood, just drop me off at the nearest quilting bee.
I think she's waking up.
Jen, you okay? No Shh.
Don't try and talk.
The doctors want you to save your throat.
Don't worry, your voice will be back in a day or two.
The operation went just fine, Jennifer.
The doctor said it was so easy, he could have done it blindfolded.
In fact, he wore Steven! I'm just What a trouper! I think she wants to play charades.
Uh, writing, writing a book.
A book, a book title "from here to eternity.
" Alex: No.
Uh, no.
Uh, no "no, no, nanette"! You know, I think maybe she wants a pencil and paper.
Honey.
I didn't know you kept a diary, Jennifer.
I thought I was the only one who did.
No, no.
Yours is the only one we read.
"You would have been a great Stanley.
" Uh, thanks, Jennifer.
I think I make a pretty good Alex.
What is she talking about, Alex? I don't know, dad.
Is she still under sedation? "You look very pretty when you go out on dates.
" Yeah.
Definitely still under sedation.
Thank you, Jennifer I'm afraid you'll have to leave now.
Our patient needs her rest.
Okay.
See you later, Jen.
Oh I heard about your little mishap at the blood bank.
I hear you dropped like a stone.
Great.
No, honey.
No, no.
No more games.
Just listen to the nurse and try and get some rest, honey.
We'll be back later, okay? Steven: Bye-bye.
It's okay.
Bye.
Hon, time for a nap.
You trying to tell me something, dear? Oh.
I see.
You want to play charades.
Oh.
You want me to read this.
"I love you.
" Well, isn't that sweet, dear? I love you, too.
Oh, I see.
This is for them.
Well, I'm sure they know you love them.
Now you try to get some sleep.
We love you, too, darling.
That's my girl.
She's right.
Yeah.