Growing Pains s02e21 Episode Script

[BEN IMITATING TICKING WATCH.]
Hi, this is 60 Minutes.
But don't worry, it won't take that long.
Hi.
I'm Ben Seaver and welcome to my class project: "A Day in the Life of the Seavers.
" And what a day it is.
It's Chore Day and everybody has a job to do.
Mrs.
Seaver and Carol are gonna clean the drapes.
And Dr.
Seaver's using Carol’s computer to write some article for some mental magazine.
Oh, yeah.
He's a psychiatrist.
And Mike's gotta paint his room or Dad's gonna know the reason why.
I don't even care what grade I get on this.
I just wanna do "a" good job for you, Mrs.
Cutter.
JENNY: Ben, you were supposed to mention me.
Okay, okay.
Oh, uh, Jenny Foster, another one of your fine students is helping me by running the video camera.
Hi, Mrs.
Cutter.
Well, one thing you're-- One thing you're gonna notice about the Seavers is how well we get along.
MAGGIE: Come on, Jason.
JASON: Maggie, there's a difference between frugal and cheap.
All right, I take it back.
-You're a frugal-skate.
-Well, I don't see what's wrong with going with the old reliable inexpensive handyman we've always used for years.
Honey, a furnace is not a broken screen door.
It's a complicated piece of machinery.
Well, I think Jimmy can handle it.
And did I mention he works cheap? Would you hire him to perform open-heart surgery? Well, I'd let him give me an estimate.
Ben, Jenny, not now, please.
BEN: Keep rolling.
This could be good.
Honey, you know I love dear sweet Jimmy as much as you and the kids do.
Of course.
So why not destroy the man's dignity? Ha! BEN: It may look like they're arguing, but they're not.
They call this discussing.
Ben, I told you to turn that off.
No, keep rolling, Ben.
This could be great stuff.
Ben, I am not going to ask you again.
BEN: Uh-oh.
It looks like I've been invited to participate in this discussion.
[DOORBELL RINGS.]
Start rolling.
Come on.
MIKE: I got it, I got it, I got it.
Boner, I told you not to ring-- -Yo, Jimmy.
-Yo, Mike.
-Hey.
-Ha, ha! All right, let me see it.
Oh, right.
Not bad.
Now give me your best punch right here.
-Oh, no.
No, I can't.
-Come on.
-No, really, I ca-- -Wimp.
-Hey, come on, Jimmy.
I-- -Weenie.
-No, I-- -Come on.
Come on, I say.
Ooh! Oh, Jimmy.
Jimmy, I'm sorry.
Are you okay? I'm sorry.
-Look, I'm sorry.
-I'm all right.
I'm perfectly all right.
-Never been better.
MAGGIE: Jimmy.
Oh, Mrs.
Weaver.
Pretty as ever.
-Are you all right? -Yes, I'm great.
Oh, just a minute.
That pretty young woman there couldn't be-- -Yep, it's me.
-Karen.
-Carol.
-Right you are.
Jimmy, you son of a gun.
Oh, how's my favorite medicine man? How's my favorite handyman? Oh, I've been missing you folks.
I'm glad you called.
Well, it was Maggie's idea, she insisted.
Well, I understand you have a sick furnace.
-Well, it goes on, but it won't stay on.
-Oh, well, let me take a look.
Um, Jimmy, the furnace is in the basement.
That way.
Yes, but my tools is in my truck.
That way.
Oh, right.
It looks like the furnace could be the big story today at the Seavers'.
And, of course, Mrs.
Cutter, you can count on me to be there.
-Did you see how shaky he was? -No.
He was wheezing.
He couldn't catch his breath.
Oh, that's because I punched him in the stomach.
Oh, fine.
You men just stick together.
-I believe you have a bedroom to paint? -I'm way ahead of you.
Okay, you know the rules.
Nobody comes over till it's done.
-Hey, you know me.
-Yes, I sure do.
And in spite of that, I still expect that room painted by tonight.
Hey, no problem.
You got it.
-Hey, Mikey.
-Hey, Bone.
-What's the surprise? -Shh.
I'll tell you upstairs.
-Something great, ain't it? -Bone, you have no idea.
I never do.
Don't worry.
He'll be down in a second.
Uh-huh.
Oh, you think he's too old, don't you? Come on, just say it.
Honey, some people just don't know when to hang it up.
-Like Muhammad Ali.
-Pardon me? For years, he was The Greatest.
And now he's killing roaches on TV.
I overheard some sports reporters in the cafeteria.
-Oh.
-There was a day when Jimmy could handle something as complicated as a furnace.
But now, I'm afraid he's lost his fastball.
Hey, how much time you spending with these sports guys? Okay, let's get this show on the road.
Time is money.
My time, your money.
[WASHING MACHINE GRINDING.]
Oh, sounds like there's not a moment to lose.
-Think you know what it is? -Sure.
You've been trying to heat the house with a washing machine.
Ha, ha.
-That's a joke.
MAGGIE & JASON: Ha, ha.
-Okay.
-A little handyman humor.
Hello.
Yeah.
Sticky solenoid.
A little lubrication and she'll be fine.
[CAN HISSES.]
[WASHING MACHINE RUNNING.]
Perfect.
Right, Maggie? Uh, yes.
Thank you, Jimmy.
I'll send you a bill.
Uh, Jimmy, what about the furnace? Oh, you having trouble with that too, are you? Ooh.
The beauty of it is there's nothing better than painting for building up your chest.
Which, frankly, you could use.
You really think so? Did you know Arnold Schwarzenegger -started out as a painter? -Yeah.
You did? I'm having the time of my life over here, Bone.
It looks like fun.
If you think I'm gonna let you do it, you might as well just split right now.
Oh, really? Yeah, not even if you got down on your knees and begged me to.
Well, is that a way to treat your buddy? Uh, you know, you're right, Bone.
I'm sorry.
-Here, here, you give it a shot.
-Oh, great.
-No, I can't.
I can't do it.
-What? I can't do it knowing how much it means to you, Mike.
Boner, get out.
Just go, all right? Come on.
Leave.
I got stuff to do here.
[MIKE SIGHS.]
Mike, do you want me to paint your room for you? Yes, I do.
Why didn't you ask me in the first place? Because, Boner, I didn't think anybody was that gullible.
Well, next time give me some credit, huh? But claustrophobia can be a symptom of another disorder that needs-- You don't have to say a thing, I can read your mind.
All right, so what if he forgot why he was in the basement? He did fix the washer.
All right, so he forgot a few names.
Big deal.
I do that myself sometimes.
Especially the tall kid, what's-his-name.
All right, I'll keep an eye on Jimmy.
Thank you, dear.
But this constant nagging has gotta stop.
Here we are, back in the living room, where we're gonna see Mrs.
Seaver and the Seaver girl caught in the act of being themselves.
If it's okay.
Sure, pumpkin.
-Pumpkin? -We'll edit that out.
If this makes me look fat, you can't use it.
Play it safe, Jenny.
Keep her out of the shot.
Ben, I gotta be straight with you.
I've been on this project since 8:00 this morning and nothing has happened.
-What are you trying to say? -Two words: Boring.
Are you calling my family boring? -Well-- -If you put my family on TV every week I bet millions of people would watch.
Yeah, Ben.
Right.
[HAMMERING IN DISTANCE.]
-Let's go interview Jimmy.
-We already did.
Let's do it again.
He won't remember.
Come on.
Ben, that is no way to talk about Jimmy.
I'm sorry.
Even if it is true.
Of course back then, you know, this entire neighborhood was nothing but apple orchards.
Or was it pears? Oh, it was fruit, anyway, because in the fall, I kept stepping on them.
-Why did you become a handyman? -Well, you see I have lived on this earth many times before.
-Yeah? -Oh, you betcha.
And in each life, I was a handyman.
-Really? -Oh, I remember the time when those Chinese fellas hired me to supervise the building of the Good Wall.
You mean the Great Wall.
-Sure, after I got done with it.
-I don't get it.
Well, maybe you're a little too young yet.
Some people think I'm too young to do anything.
Oh, well, you know, some folks think I'm too old to do anything.
So we've got something in common.
Yeah.
Makes me mad that happens.
-How about you? -Me too.
But what do you do about it? I throw a fit and hold my breath till I turn blue.
Same here.
-Well, at least the drapes are clean.
-Uh-huh.
Mom, who came up with the idea of Seaver Chore Day? Your dad, you know that.
Well, don't you find it interesting that the founder of Chore Day is not doing an actual chore? Instead, he's writing an article that he put off until Chore Day? -You know, you're absolutely right.
-Mm-hm.
So guess where we're gonna be next Chore Day.
-Where? -Bloomingdale's.
Ooh.
[FURNACE RUMBLING.]
What did you do? Jason! Oh, you heard? JIMMY: Sorry about that.
Won't happen again.
Jason, it was right of you to wanna give Jimmy a chance.
But isn't it pretty clear now that he's not up to it? All right, first, why don't we just find out what happened? What happened? Three hours of boring hard work were ruined.
Work that we've been doing all day while some people were ducking out in their office, huh? That's it, Mikey.
I'm out of here.
Would you look at me? I've seen you show up for school looking dirtier than that.
Mike, what's Boner doing here on Chore Day? Carol, would you--? You know, as usual, that is an excellent question and I am very glad you asked.
Not now, Mike, we've got bigger fish to fry.
[MIKE SIGHS.]
You know, I'll stay if I can get in on this fish fry deal.
-Done, my friend.
-All right.
You know, Dad, I have to agree with Mom.
Jimmy should go.
This is not a matter of friendship.
It's a matter of incompetence.
Carol, I can't believe you're turning on Jimmy too.
He's our pal.
And another thing.
All of this talk about getting rid of a person a human being, just because they're incompetent.
That could be very upsetting to Mike.
I know that you're working under a lot of pressure.
-I certainly don't wanna interfere.
-But what the hell happened just now? -Yeah.
-Well, I wish I could say, doc.
It was just one of those things that we handymen call a mistake.
That's what I call it.
What a coinkydink.
Hope it didn't cause too much mess up there.
-Well, as a matter of fact, Jimmy, we-- -Uh, we'll live, Jimmy.
Won't we, honey? Oh, yes.
Yes.
Somehow.
Are we any closer to solving the problem? Well, you may have a small pressure leak in your system.
Oh, would you believe it? I have a gauge in my truck that'll tell the tale.
JASON: Yes.
You heard him, it's just what handymen call a mistake.
Honey, you know how when we disagree, then later, we find out that I was right -how you always get defensive? -I'm not defensive.
And I don't think there's one shred of evidence that he's incompetent.
[WASHING MACHINE GRINDING.]
I believe that's exhibit A heading your way.
Honey, sooner or later, you are going to face the facts about Jimmy.
I say a man is entitled to keep his dignity until he proves he doesn't deserve it.
And I love you for it.
Where are you going? Oh, I thought I'd just browse through our homeowner's insurance coverage.
Et tu, Maytag? Boner, my friend, welcome to the '80s.
Now, this is gonna make your life a lot more fun.
Can I take it home with me? Bones, we're painting.
Oh.
You know, I feel real bad about all the hard work that you've been doing.
But I'd like to get this room painted today, all right? Now watch me, okay, now all you do is just point the electric sprayer at the area to be covered you gently squeeze the trigger and voilà.
You got it? -Mike, even a goon can do this.
-That's what I'm counting on.
-Nice.
-Aah! --which explains why claustrophobia conventions are so poorly attended.
If you don't want an argument, don't read my mind.
Poorly attended.
Poorly attended.
[VACUUM CLEANER HUMMING.]
Could you leave my shades for just a few minutes, please? I've gotta get this done today.
I'm on the very last page.
Oh, no.
-Does that mean you've lost everything? -I don't know.
Carol’s the computer expert.
Power is out all over the house.
-Does that mean I've lost all 28 pages? -No.
Oh.
Good.
No, see, you were saving the pages as you went along, right? Saving pages? JIMMY: I hope that didn't take anybody up there by surprise.
I'll get power back in a sec.
I'm sorry.
-Was that Jimmy? -It wasn't Shirley MacLaine.
Mikey, all I know is, I heard a voice say, "I'm sorry," and it sounded like God.
No, no.
Jimmy.
You call him Jimmy? What did you do to this thing? I don't know.
Maybe the nozzle's clogged.
It's definitely not clogged.
Dad, the TV went off but it's back on now.
-We know, Ben.
-And I had nothing to do with it.
We know, Ben.
Well, how do you go and tell a member of the family to get out? I told you, it wasn't my fault.
They know, Ben.
Honey, if you can't bear to do this, then I will.
I've got it.
We'll sell the house and move.
I wish it were that simple.
All right, I want some answers and I want them now.
Yeah, what in the name of Jimmy is going on around here? Oh, excuse my language.
What happened to you guys? I'll ask the questions here.
What is going on in this house? Well, I'm trying to find a way to break a dear old man's heart, that's what.
I know how much this hurts your dad.
Well, he was the only one who kept believing in Jimmy.
Oh, I still believe in Jimmy.
Boner, please.
Whoa, whoa.
Since when did all of you turn into atheists, huh? [LAUGHS.]
[BANGING.]
-Hey, Jimmy, we've gotta talk now.
See-- -Uh, hey, doc.
If it can wait, I really have to concentrate here.
Sure.
Uh, no, it can't, Jimmy.
No, uh, I don't think so.
Okay.
What's up? Well, Jimmy, come on.
Ha, ha.
You're a sports fan, right? -Sure.
-Well, let's talk about Muhammad Ali.
Ah, Cassius Clay? Ha, ha.
He was The Greatest.
Remember when everybody thought maybe he should hang it up? -But he didn't listen.
-Exactly.
And so he became the only man to win the heavyweight championship of the world three times.
Well, I was talking about later.
Oh, sure.
People gave up on the man.
People who should've known better.
All right.
Muhammad Ali's a bad example here.
Of what? I don't know.
Give me a minute, I'll think about it.
Losing your train of thought, eh? Well, it happens as you get older.
Poor Jason.
Oh.
Poor Jimmy.
Don't worry, when I'm done with these, they'll be as good as new.
-Mom, I gotta clean Boner's clothes.
-I don't care.
Boner, you're wearing my bathrobe.
Oh, I don't mind.
Look.
Can we throw these in the washer? Well, you'll have to wait.
All the rugs are in there.
I think I'll get some of that fish.
Wait a minute, did you just say you put all the rugs in the washer at once? Well, yeah, is that a problem? Well, sure, the washer would overload and make horrible noises and jump around and shut off.
Sorry.
Maybe the washer wasn't his fault.
-Whose fault? -But what about all the soot? BEN [ON TV.]
: I throw a fit and hold my breath till I turn blue.
Hey, look at my camerawork.
I gotta get back to work.
BEN: Can I help? JIMMY: Oh, sure, sure.
Yeah.
Take this hose and hook it to the vacuum.
Be sure you're on the intake.
Oh, no.
[VACUUM CLEANER HUMMING.]
Aah! No, no.
The other one.
I didn't know you taped this part.
Hey, my camera never stops.
Ben, let it play.
[MIKE SIGHS.]
Look, Bone, you're just gonna have to trust me.
There is no fish here whatsoever.
-I'm sorry.
-That's all right, Benny.
Ha.
I'll cover for you.
Sorry about that.
Won't happen again.
BEN: Thanks, Jimmy.
So it wasn't Jimmy.
It was you.
Well, I'm gonna go to my room now.
Sit down, Ben.
You know, that still doesn't explain the power going off.
I know, Jimmy was here to fix a gas furnace, not the electricity.
Um, I might be out of line here but in the case of a gas leak, the first thing you do -is shut off the power to check on it.
MAGGIE: Oh.
Oh.
Oh! Oh, Jason.
Jason, wait.
If there's one thing I know about, it's gas.
[SOBBING.]
Thank you, Jimmy.
God bless you.
-Jimmy, you have to come over to dinner.
-Or lunch.
-Yeah, any day this week.
-Every day this week.
Why don't you just move in? Ha-ha-ha.
We love you, Jimmy.
I'm gonna go inside now and break something.
Will you fix it? -Oh, sure, sure.
You only have to call me.
-Okay.
-Bye-bye Jimmy.
Bye-bye.
-Bye.
-See you later.
Bye.
-See you.
Well, Mrs.
Cutter, that's a day in the life of the Seavers and I hope you had fun, because I know I sure did.
And I learned things too, which you're supposed to when you're doing school junk.
Well, what I learned today was you should let old people do stuff because they know a whole lot.
Like my dad said, it's a good thing we didn't give up on Jimmy because we would've lost a good handyman and a good friend.
Well, that's it for me and Jenny.
This video could've been a whole lot better, but remember, I'm just a kid.
Bye, Mrs.
Cutter.
Bye, Mrs.
Cutter.
JASON: Mike? Yeah, I'll be through in one second, Dad.
Hey, Mike-- Dinner.