Lab Rats (2012) s02e21 Episode Script

1 ( Sniffing ) Ugh! Smells like something died in here.
Whoa! Something did die in here! Chase, look at this! No! Well, at least tell me if this is fur or mold.
No! Adam, what did you do to your shoe? I guess I don't know my own strength.
The same thing happened yesterday with my underwear.
Oh, that reminds me, I got you a new headband for gym class.
Man, Mr.
Davenport warned us about this.
As we get older, our chips have to be re-calibrated to adjust for our growth.
( Laughing ) Oh, well, then yours will never have to be adjusted.
'Cause your body doesn't grow, get it? I'm saying you're small.
I get it! When Mr.
Davenport gets back, he can re-calibrate your super strength.
Toss me my backpack.
Or we could do it now.
Quick, get in your capsule.
Ah, but I like being ridiculously strong.
I'm like king Kong without the little lady in his hand.
Go ahead, chase, jump in.
Go! Fine.
All right, let's see, Adam's size parameters.
Six-one, hundred and seventy-five pounds.
Make it a hundred and eighty.
Had a big breakfast.
Since your strength has intensified, I'm gonna dial it back from an eight to a six.
Hold on, you can adjust my strength? Well, don't dial me down, make me a ten! No way.
That would be like giving a stick of dynamite to a Well, you.
There.
Done.
Now hurry.
We're gonna be late for school.
Uh, yeah, I'll be right there! I just have to not do something for a minute.
I can't wait to see if it worked! The world's first bionic super-humans.
They're stronger than us, faster, smarter.
The next generation of the human race is Living in my basement? lab rats lab rats Lab rats lab rats Lab rats Man, I always get stuck with the wobbly chair.
Here, let me fix it.
Hold my tray.
Adam! ( Laughing ) Budget cuts, am I right? The evidence is all around us, people.
( Laughing ) You maxed out your super strength, didn't you? Of course I did.
Look who you're talking to.
This is so dangerous.
You can't control your strength, and it could cause a ton of glitches.
We have to change you back, now! Calm down, you're over-reacting.
Okay, you can dial me down to a nine.
Morning, oxygen hogs! Time for another surprise locker inspection! Why, you ask? The superintendent says that if I'm gonna accuse you little criminals of doing stuff I need "evidence.
" Lindsey, you're up.
( Annoyed sound ) ( Laughing ) Stuffed animal? What is this, your prom date? Makeup? You've already lost that battle, sweetheart.
You know what? I am so tired of principal Perry and her power trips.
How, how does she keep getting away with this stuff? Just accept it.
It's a lot easier once you let go of the hope.
Ooh, pretzel logs! Jackpot! You're next, glow stick.
I don't think so.
( Grunts ) ( Yells ) ( Laughing ) Stiff arm.
Legal play.
Okay, principal Perry, this is not fair.
You walk around here like a dictator and treat the student body like prisoners.
Aww, you noticed.
It's so good to be appreciated.
No.
This is no way to run a school.
And I think that I speak for everyone when I say we're not gonna take it anymore! ( Students gasping ) And by "we" she means her.
You and me, rock solid.
Are you challenging my authority? She's sweating through her pant suit.
Retreat, retreat! Listen, lipstick, I didn't command a ship in the merchant marines to take guff from you.
You know, I just think the school might be a bit more enjoyable if we were treated like adults and had more freedom.
Right, and then we could all ride unicorns to school and eat food that passes a health inspection.
But it doesn't have to be like this.
Oh, yes, it does.
I learned one thing from my mother: To rule with an iron fist.
Oh, and that salad takes up space where meat should be.
She sounds like a lovely woman.
She isn't! You kids think my job is so easy, don't ya? ( Laughing ) Well, I mean, how hard can it be? You do it.
( Students gasping ) You think you can do better? All right! Have at it.
School's yours.
You go ahead and be principal for a day.
What? Yeah.
Go ahead and be the nice principal.
These maggots will eat you alive in two hours.
Hmm.
You coulda use your last breath to scream for help, but you shoulda used it to say "I'm sorry.
" Oh! All right.
You're on.
But if I'm gonna be principal for the day, I'll need the keys to your office.
All right.
But remember, no matter how loud the banging gets in the file cabinet, don't open it.
I can't believe you maxed out your strength after I specifically told you not to.
In my defense, you telling me what to do is like a monkey telling a hedgehog what to do it's ridiculous.
But it would make an awesome buddy cop movie.
Can we just please get this over with? I gotta get back to school.
It's karaoke day in Latin class and I'm singing twinkle twinkle little star.
( Singing in Latin ) Scintillat scintillat Paulo Stella ( Laughing ) You do know you're never gonna have a girlfriend, right? Yeah? And yours is gonna have to cut your food, so we're even.
Get in your capsule! All right, reducing super strength in three, two, one All right, we should probably test it out to make sure that you're back to normal.
Come here.
This is made out of ultra-strength titanium.
Think you can break it? Sure, stand still while I smash it over your head.
No, with your hand.
Not as fun, but okay.
( Exhales ) Ah, I'm back to normal.
Now I'm only a hundred times stronger than you.
( Sighing ) I guess I'm gonna have to hit you more often to make up for it.
You really don't have to.
Oh, that's sweet.
But I really do.
No, you don't.
Yes, I do.
No, you don't.
Come here.
Stop.
Get away.
Don't touch me.
Don't get away, get away.
No, no! ( Yells ) ( Laughs ) Whoa! It's only been a few hours, but look how much happier everyone is under principal Bree.
Well, that is just how I roll, vice principal Leo.
( Laughing ) I mean, isn't it amazing how much happier and more productive students are when they're given a little bit of freedom? Let breedom ring! Oh, uh, by the way, I have some paperwork for you to sign.
Sure.
What is it? You know, just an approval form, forcing all girls to be my friend.
What is going on here? Stop talking on the phone! Spit out that gum! Uh-uh, don't you listen to her! Put that gum back in your mouth.
Hey This is my school now.
See how smoothly things are running and how happy everyone is? ( Grunting ) I know, it's disgusting! All these smiling faces.
I haven't seen this many teeth since I kept dental records at the morgue.
Sorry, principal Perry, but I guess it is easy doing your job.
( Scoffs ) Yeah! Watch it, dooley! Ah-ah-ah-ah! Correction: Vice principal dooley.
And if I'm not mistaken, you're not allowed to be here unless you're a student or faculty.
So I'm afraid, I'm going to have to ask you to leave Terry.
( Grunting ) This isn't over! ( Phone ringing ) What, mom? I'm at work! Sorry, I didn't mean to raise my voice.
Yes, I've been a bad girl.
( Bell rings ) Hey, chase, when you zapped me I think you took a little bit of weight off.
Adam, that's impossible.
It doesn't work like that.
The re-calibration adjusts the ratio of your muscle mass to your body frame and, and, who am I kidding? You stopped listening five seconds ago, right? Adam? Adam? ( In high-pitched voice ) I'm down here! Told you I was losing weight.
Chase, what's going on? I, I, I guess I was in such a rush to re-calibrate your chip, I, I accidentally forgot to enter the size parameters, which caused a glitch and I'm two inches tall and naked! Do something! Really, chase? A purple ninja outfit? You know purple's not my color! It was from the lost and found.
There were only two action figures, this and power girl.
And you Don not have the legs to work that skirt.
Ha.
Just hurry up and fix this! I can't stand being smaller than you.
You know, I've been smaller than you for my entire life.
Now you know what it's like.
Do you remember all the names you called me? Not all of 'em, but I remember there was tinypants mcgoo, microman, tiny boy, ant boy, eency meency, little woman ( Laughing ) Hey! Whoa, hey! Adam: Why is it dark? What's going on? Let me out! Hey, what'd you do that for? I wanted you to see what it's like to be picked on by someone larger than you.
But, since I'm a nice guy, now I'll take you home to fix you.
Thank you, chase, it's really big of you.
And I don't get to say that very often.
Ha ha.
You just can't stop yourself, can you? I'll try.
Um, you're huge Ly small.
Nope, can't do it.
You know what? Forget home.
We're gonna have a little fun.
No, no, no, no.
No! No! You know that new tarantula in the science lab? Oh, yeah, Harvey! He's great.
Well, let's see how great he is when he gets a surprise visit from a tiny, purple ninja.
No! ( Yelling ) Hey, where is everyone? Why is no one in class? ( Music playing distantly ) ( Music playing ) Principal Perry? Who wants to know? ( Laughing ) The name's Terry.
On the street they call me t.
P.
'Cause I clean up.
Um, what are you doing? Never mind that, what are you wearing? Well, the more I thought about it, it seemed only fair that if you get to be principal for a day, then I get to be a student for a day.
( Laughing ) Since you're such a big fan of freedom, I thought I'd show you what it really looks like.
Bertha, ruthie, saddle up! ( Students chanting ) Go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go! ( Students cheering ) ( Crashing sound ) Oh! She just got loafed! ( Laughing ) If she gets hurt while you're principal, you're responsible.
You know what they do to principals in prison? Well, you can't threaten me.
Vice principal Leo? My pleasure.
Hmm.
You just got detention, squat mug.
Do you really wanna go there, knowing that I'm back to running this place tomorrow? And I quit.
You're on your own, Bree.
What? So, you ready to give up? ( Scoffing ) Not a chance.
Because freedom is always Principal Perry: Oh! ( Laughing ) Sorry, I couldn't hear you with all that freedom on your face.
( Laughing ) Somebody get this girl some gravy.
( Laughing ) All right, Adam, time for a water fountain jerk bath.
Adam? Adam? Oh, no! Adam? Adam? ( Laughing ) New Internet dance craze.
Look it up.
Leo! 'Sup? I need your help.
I accidentally shrunk Adam and he is gone! I got your back.
You were with me, we were kayaking.
No questions asked.
No! He was in my pocket but he fell out.
I lost him! They'll never buy it.
Stick to the kayak.
I don't know where he is.
He could be anywhere! Chase! Leo! I'm over here! Over here! Aah! Incoming butt! Ha! No one can defeat the butt-ninja.
Hey, I have those jeans! No, don't sit down, don't sit down! ( Yells ) Chase, I think I just saw a little, purple ninja dive into that book bag.
And there's something I'll never say again.
Go, go! Sorry, ma'am.
Random bag search.
There's been a rash of crouton theft at the salad bar.
We're not saying it's you, but we're all thinkin' it.
A-ha! I got him.
You got him? Dude! You almost spilled my third lunch.
Right.
Sorry.
Oh! Oh, wow, gigantic food.
It's so beautiful.
Ooh, pickles! Adam, get out of there! Oh! ( Yelling ) ( Grunting ) Braver men than you have tried to take my food before.
They ain't men now.
I won't let you eat my brother! ( Scoffs ) You vegetarians make me sick.
It's a Turkey, not your brother.
Now give me back that bird, hippie! No! No, no! Yes, yes! Ge let go of the bird! Drop the burger, Terry! How about I drop you, girlie? Hmm, I had a feeling you might say that.
Which is why I brought in the big guns.
Theresa! Mother? What are you doing here? This lovely young lady called me and said you were causing trouble.
What did I tell you about wrestling for food? Oh! That if you're gonna do it, you better win? Don't you sass your momma! Sorry, mother.
Hands off, troll! I apologize for her causing so much trouble.
She's not really the principal! And you're not really a child, so stop acting like one! ( Grunting ) Theresa, what do you say to principal Bree? ( Yelling ) Sorry.
Big girl voice! Sorry! I'm going to take her home and give her a good talking to.
Mm, I think that's a great idea.
No, momma, no, no, no, momma! No, momma, no, no, no, no! No Hey, hey, hey! ( Yelling ) Thanks a lot, ruthie.
Both: I lost my retainer.
( Laughing nervously ) Got him! Oh, wait, no, that's a celery stick.
Ah, got him! Wait, no, that's a chicken bone.
Ooh, I found him! He was curled up inside a burrito.
Thanks.
Uh, Adam size parameters, six-one, hundred and seventy-five pounds.
Strength level, six.
Clothing yes, please.
Whoa! Chase, I just had the most awesome dream.
I was a tiny ninja in a land of butt giants.
No, Adam, that wasn't a dream.
I made a mistake and shrunk you.
That's right! And I had nothing to do with it.
For once, Leo's part of the solution to a problem he didn't create! Yes! Wow, I think I finally understand what it feels like to be the smaller brother.
( Sighing ) Finally! So does this mean that you're not gonna make short jokes at my expense anymore? I'm sorry, can you speak up? I can't hear you down there.
You just cannot help yourself, can you? Oh, I'm just kidding.
Look, I don't think you're that small.
And for turning me back to normal, I got you a gift.
Okay, close your eyes.
Open 'em.
It's a tiny ninja costume! Oh, don't worry about the size.
You'll grow into it.
Ugh, I am so happy to just be a student again.
And I am so happy you've forgiven me for quitting as vice principal.
I didn't.
So we're good? Well, if it isn't the former administration.
Well, if it isn't the failed administration.
That was my dis! You only changed one word! Now that I'm back in charge, I'm gonna make your lives miserable.
I think you mean her life, because I resigned my position.
You and me, rock solid.
Not a chance.
You two are gonna spend the rest of the day cleaning up the cafeteria.
Oh, ( Laughing ) I don't think so.
I may not be principal anymore, but, uh, I do still have one thing: Your mother's phone number.
Theresa! On, no! No, mommy, no! I've been a good girl! No, no, no, no, no, no! Mother: Theresa! Theresa!