The Disastrous Life of Saiki K. (2016) s02e21 Episode Script

1
Honey! When are they coming?
You mean my parents?
What are you wearing?
It's for your parents.
Why don't you just use your teleportation?
Seriously?
They didn't want to use it
because we didn't either.
They are pretty old though.
Then kiss me before your father comes.
What are you doing?
I didn't do anything!
It's just the phone. Hello?
Why are you answering?
Hello!
-What's the matter, Dad?
-If they're calling now
You're lost?
They're in trouble.
I got separated from your mother
and my phone card is about to run out.
Money? I said I got separated
from your mother!
Hold on, let me get Ku.
-What?
-Ku, phone!
I'm going to talk to my grandson?
I can't!
This is way too sudden!
Calm down. You can do this.
Okay, here I go.
Hello
No!
The call dropped.
Can you get him, Kusuo?
That's why I should've teleported them
from the start.
Clairvoyance.
Found him. Good grief,
he's close enough to walk to.
Are you okay?
Is there anything I can help you with?
-Oh!
-Oh!
-Teruhashi!
-I can't reach Mom's phone.
Can you look for her too?
Good grief. Clairvoyance.
Found her.
She's dressed so young!
-What's with that grandma?
-What a joke.
They're making fun of her.
I guess I'll go get her first.
She pulls it off better than you.
-Who are you?
-What a bitch.
Just a random gyaru.
Go home!
-Awesome outfit, grandma!
-What are you doing there, Aiura?
-No, it's my grandma who is out of place!
-You're cute too.
-This would look good on you!
-You have good taste.
Stop getting along.
This sucks. Teruhashi is with my granddad,
and Aiura is with my grandma.
I'll start with my grandfather.
I need to make sure they don't find out
they know me.
You're Saiki's grandfather?
Too late.
You know Kusuo?
-He's a classmate.
-Really?
She would've found out
when she walked him to my place anyway.
Thank you.
I can't believe this man turned out
to be Saiki's grandfather.
This is fate!
You're just loved by the gods.
If I take him back to Saiki's,
I'm sure to get Saiki to gasp.
Not a chance.
She's so beautiful.
I thought she was an angel
who came to take me to heaven
after dying from sadness.
You're weaker than a rabbit.
And she's Kusuo's classmate?
It's proof that Kusuo and I
are connected by fate!
Fate? We're family.
Miss, how is Kusuo at school?
Saiki?
I can't tell him he's gloomy and quiet
and you can't tell what he's thinking.
He's a very serious student.
He's very calm and quiet,
and the type who attracts others.
I think I went too far.
I bet he is.
Really?
He must be really soft on Saiki.
Yes, Saiki is very nice.
-That's him!
-What?
This is too embarrassing to watch.
It's a lost cause.
I'll deal with grandmother.
Where is this?
Lady, you've got some lit moves!
Totally lit!
-Kill me.
-I have a husband and grandkids.
Stop being best friends
with my grandmother.
For real? Your name is Saiki?
-Yes.
-My boyfriend has the same last name.
Really? Maybe he's my grandson.
-His name is Kusuo.
-His name is Kusuo.
-For real?
-For real?
-Good grief. They found out.
-Kusuo's grandma?
Sorry, I'm Mikoto Aiura.
Kusuo is really great.
Are you okay?
Stop making friends.
-Kusuo!
-Kusuo?
It's okay, you both know.
You know too?
Kusuo and I are close.
That's misleading.
Stop whistling!
-I might become a great-grandma!
-Forget them. Where is my grandfather?
He should be here by now.
Anyway, Kusuo is a really nice boy.
-Wow, really?
-They are not even on their way.
-Poor Teruhashi.
-He's not done?
I have things to do,
but this is Saiki's grandfather.
Such a kind child
to be humoring an old man like this.
She could be the one
to be Kusuo's wife.
That's not your decision.
She's so good-natured, and they
would make a beautiful couple.
What is your image of me anyway?
Teruhashi, was it?
Please be good to Kusuo.
-Dad! Where have you been?
-Good grief, finally.
To think Kusuo had such a cute girlfriend.
I love Mikoto!
Kokomi Teruhashi. She's going to be
Kusuo's wife one day. Yes.
What are you talking about?
He's marrying Mikoto!
Who is that? No way!
I'm not marrying either of them!
Saiki, I'm here to collect.
Collect? Whatever. Here you go.
-Great. Ouch! I meant to collect a favor!
-I'm collecting
-Not that!
-for the scars you gave me.
Remember when I helped you when
you turned Nendo and Kaido into stone?
-Did you? I don't remember that.
-Let go of me!
That hurts!
You know that time!
Me and Big Boobs helped you out.
What are you talking about?
It was Volume 21 of the comic!
I bet you just want help with a girl.
It's serious this time.
This is a matter of life or death.
Quit twisting my arm and let me go!
Fasting?
Yes. It's for my temple.
I can't eat anything for three days.
They even took away all my toys
and are going to keep me locked inside.
Copying sutras all day is going to suck!
Stop smiling!
It's not funny!
I can't eat for three days!
I can't read porno magazines
for three days!
You shouldn't be reading those.
You probably deserve this
for whatever you did anyway.
I didn't do anything.
I just charged money
to ring the bell on New Year's
and hid some porno magazines
inside a Buddha statue.
-Pay penance for three years.
-Since I'm being locked up,
I want you to deliver me food.
That should be easy for you.
Just sneak some food to me.
And porno magazines if you can.
Saiki?
Hey!
Maybe I'll just run.
We won't stop you, Reita!
But you will never be allowed back.
I was just kidding, sir.
Your father told us
to be hard on you.
I guess I have to do it.
It's okay, I'm sure Saiki will help me!
You're going into that hut.
Make sure you drink the water sparingly.
I know. Let's get this over with.
Wait, before that.
-Are you for real?
-We got something.
There we go.
Snacks, smart phone, charger,
and three years' worth of smut.
-I got too greedy!
-Confiscate it all!
Let your fasting begin!
We're keeping a close eye on you.
If you leave this hut,
you're never to come back.
I trust you, Saiki!
TWO DAYS LATER
He's not coming.
Saiki, I know you can hear me.
Why aren't you coming?
I haven't seen any women either.
-All the ghosts have been men.
-Are you okay?
My heart rate and BP are climbing,
and I have a fever. I can't take any more.
I hope a beautiful lady
comes through that door.
With boobs made out of meat buns
and panties made of raw beef.
That's gross.
-Saiki!
-You seem fine.
-You came.
-Hear that?
-He's probably just talking to ghosts.
-I knew you would!
-What did you buy?
-Wait.
Sit. Sorry to keep you waiting.
I had to check on something before I came.
-Check?
-Yes.
I re-read the manga
since your first appearance
to see if I really owe you.
In conclusion,
you did help me a few times,
but I clearly helped you more.
I preferred when you played dumb.
But what's important isn't the number.
That's right!
It's not the number of times.
You've really done a lot.
-All of it is bad.
-What? You're eating it?
You have personality issues.
Fasting for three days isn't enough.
It's time you learned your lesson.
I'm going to eat
all of this in front of you.
You're pretty awful yourself!
Munch. Delicious.
-Munch.
-Stop it!
-What is with that chewing sound!
-This is delicious too.
Give me some! Got it!
Sorry, that's my meat.
A guy?
Was that a ghost?
No, I'm not a ghost.
Those are my rice balls.
Hallucination.
Making people see what isn't there.
Stop! Stay away!
Time to become a new man.
It's time.
I am extremely grateful
for your patience and concern.
My goodness.
Is there something you want to eat?
Could I trouble you
for some hot water and porridge?
He's been completely reborn!
Not so fast.
Look. This is your smut!
He's not looking!
-That went well.
-Those clear eyes!
-He even lost hair.
-You looked at the clouds in the sky!
-Maybe I went too far.
-Reita!
But I'm glad he's reformed.
Memories of hardship
should keep him in line.
Are you okay, Reita?
He tripped down the stairs!
-I'll get a doctor!
-Good grief, fine.
I'll fix you this one time.
Oh, no!
This pain is nothing compared to
what I've been through.
It doesn't hurt at all!
Are you okay, Reita?
-Reita?
-Huh?
-I reset his training too.
-You're backsliding! Three more days!
FEBRUARY 14
The day has finally come.
This time I'm giving Kaido chocolate.
I worked hard making it myself.
I woke up early to get here first.
I just need to put it in his locker.
Okay! Here goes!
No, I can't!
Do I really want to give it to him?
Giving this to him on Valentine's
is basically confessing your love.
Then it's over, we can never go back
to being friends.
I should've stuck
to store-bought chocolate.
Why did I do homemade?
Even simple homemade would have been fine.
But I went with a huge heart!
And I wrote "love" with sprinkles.
There's no making excuses with this.
It's totally a love chocolate.
No, Chiyo! Don't back down! Here I go!
Maybe his desk is better.
I told you,
I really forgot!
For real?
Want to see who gets more?
-You might actually get one, Kaido.
-What makes you think you'll get any?
Look what was in my locker.
-What?
-My shoes.
I failed.
I failed.
I failed.
I was being so slow!
I am such a coward!
What was all that blood, sweat,
and tears for?
What blood?
It's all over now.
-All my effort was wasted.
-She's giving up already?
She could just put it in Kaido's desk
when he's not looking.
Even if Kaido doesn't see me put it
in his desk, others will.
Stick it in his mail box.
Someone else may find it if I put it
in his mail box.
I can't embarrass Kaido.
Can you hear what I'm thinking?
You're thinking the same things.
Good grief. She's hopeless.
I'll have to do that!
You have an idea?
I didn't get a single one.
Not you too? Who cares?
-That's a letter.
-From Class Five?
I can't figure this out.
I see, so this is what she meant.
She writes a letter to say
where the chocolate is located.
This is perfect for Kaido.
-Sorry, go on ahead.
-You're going?
-It has to be Dark Reunion!
-Because he's stupid.
It could be a challenge to a fight!
It's neither.
Nobody's following me.
-Good.
-I am, actually.
Now Kaido gets the chocolate.
How is this going to play out?
What's in here?
-Huh? There's nothing.
-That's not right.
-What's up, pal?
-Nendo, I don't have
What are you doing?
This is delicious.
-That's!
-Kaido must have found it by now.
-Let's see if he notices it.
-Where'd I get this chocolate?
I was walking when I smelled
something sweet.
-Then I found this.
-Are you a dog?
You can have the rest. I'm not hungry.
Don't eat it then.
Now we've got trouble.
I can't simply rewind the time
for the chocolate.
It'll just revert back to its ingredients.
-Was this all there was?
-What's this?
-What?
-It's a letter?
Will Kaido notice?
I chickened out
and only put the letter in the desk.
If he reads it
"Love"?
Is this about me?
Separating the chocolate
actually saved her here.
What if he reads it!
I actually added one more safety measure.
I hope it's okay.
"From the person who sits at this seat"?
That's my seat in our class.
-Will Kaido notice?
-How indirect do you need to be?
-But he can figure it out easily.
-Seat two in row three.
-That's Yumehara's seat in class three.
-He got it?
But I don't know who sits there
in class six. I'll ask the staff.
-I forgot that he was stupid.
-If she loved me, she'd give me chocolate.
-I've seen enough.
-This must be a challenge.
-Better luck next time, Yumehara.
-You're going home, pal?
-But something unexpected happened.
-Good morning.
No, I think he got the chocolate
but not the letter.
Even so, he might not know it's from me.
-He still hasn't gotten the chocolate.
-He didn't notice, right?
Hey, Yumehara.
This letter is from you, right?
Was I wrong to show it?
Of course you were! What's wrong with you?
I was just so happy.
Happy?
I can't believe
you made something so intricate.
I like you too, Yumehara. You're great.
What did he say?
Wait, something's not right.
You, calm down.
What happened yesterday?
Let me borrow that.
Psychometry.
STAFF ROOM
Thank you.
-Now, what happened after I left?
-A girl named Watanuki sat there.
But she graduated three years ago.
Her name was Watanuki.
It's a code!
I'll revert the letter
to the Hiragana alphabet,
If I take out the "Wa" and "Ta" letters,
it reads
"Let us be sworn friends, Yumehara."
"Let us be sworn friends, Yumehara!"
She wants to be sworn friends with me.
Maybe I've been keeping a little distance
because she's a girl.
-I like you too.
-As a sworn friend.
-You're great.
-As a sworn friend.
Next chapter is going to be rough.
I like you too, Yumehara.
Chiyo, here's the book I borrowed.
Chiyo, are you okay?
Oh, I'm fine.
-If you say so.
-I'll tell Kokomi later
-that Kaido and I are dating.
-Again! What is it, Chiyo?
-You're great.
-Your eyes are falling off!
Yumehara and Teruhashi are so excited.
What are they talking about?
This wouldn't have happened if the
chocolate and the letter were together.
I can't believe Yumehara
wanted to be my sworn friend.
Time to build a good sworn friendship.
First
Kaido, now we're boyfriend and girlfriend.
I can't believe it!
We will get to do this and that!
Wait, calm down. First
We should start
with walking home together!
Let's see how this goes.
-Bye.
-Bye.
Yumehara. Sorry to keep you waiting.
I'm alone with Kaido! A dream come true!
I guess that just leaves Aren.
Kuboyasu is coming too?
Yes.
It's from Aren. He went on ahead?
-Let's walk home together.
-Kuboyasu figured out
I could just let this run its course,
but I can't have it turn into a disaster.
I need Yumehara
to realize this is a misunderstanding.
She will be disappointed,
but she will accept things
once she realizes
-they have grown closer in some respects.
-Let me check if we're dating first.
-This could be dangerous.
-Hey, Kaido,
-are we
-Come on.
We're not just friends anymore.
Call me Shun.
-I didn't even need to ask!
-Can I call you Chiyo?
-Of course, Shun.
-That didn't help.
Why did you invite Kuboyasu to come?
He's a sworn friend too.
I wanted to properly introduce you two.
-Shun!
-He wanted to introduce me?
Now it's worse.
This is bad. This misunderstanding
is only getting worse.
-You know that thing from yesterday?
-She's talking about the chocolate.
Oh, the secret code.
That was really well made.
-It took me all night.
-See?
That long? But it really was good.
Really? It was good?
It was hard.
-Good grief. I'm going nuts.
-Hard? I guess it was.
Well, I'm glad you ate it.
-Ate?
-This could be it.
It had quite a nice taste.
-I could go for more.
-Good grief.
What?
This seems a little close
for sworn friends.
Isn't this a problem?
People will think we're dating.
She already does.
I don't want her to think
that I'm being weird about it.
But holding hands just isn't right!
I don't want to hurt her feelings.
But I can't!
What? No way!
-This seems more natural!
-It's kind of cold today.
-It gets worse.
-You sure are bold, Shun.
-Thanks, but it's a little embarrassing.
-What?
But she's not embarrassed to hold hands?
Do you want to go talk in the park?
Okay, sure.
I was so surprised.
I never thought you would say okay.
Well, I had no idea you felt that way.
I thought of you as a friend,
but I was happy when I learned
you wanted to be something more.
They should just never realize
their mistake and get married.
-Let me have a sip.
-What? But I Okay.
You can have some of mine.
What? But I don't like sweets.
But what about yesterday's chocolate?
Chocolate? Oh, Valentine's?
Is that a jab at me? I didn't get any.
I only got your letter.
Didn't he get the letter
and the chocolate?
You did a really good job.
-"Let us be sworn friends, Yumehara?"
-See? I copied it while I solved it.
-Can I see that?
-Good grief.
Time to make her realize.
What's wrong?
This has been a huge misunderstanding!
Are you okay, Chiyo?
Sorry, it's nothing.
That was close. I did think
it was going too smoothly, but it's fine.
I got to upgrade our friendship
to best friends.
It all worked out in the end.
Yes, it all worked out.
Why is she crying?
Sorry, I have to go. See you tomorrow.
-Bye, sworn friend!
-Okay.
Hey, maybe we shouldn't be sworn friends.
Why?
You didn't do anything wrong,
it's just I can't ignore the fact that
You know, that you're a girl.
So I can't help it.
I can't treat you like
I treat my guy friends.
So, I'm sorry.
I can't be sworn friends with you!
Okay.
Then let's go back to being just friends!
-She's not sad?
-Really? Sorry.
No, it's okay.
-Come on. Let's go home together.
-I don't understand love.
Another scoop.
Mr. Matsuzaki and Ms. Shima
were spotted together late at night.
-Is that for real?
-It's not what you think!
Ms. Shima and I were discussing work.
We're both single anyway.
-Ms. Shima!
-I knew it!
-Our school paper has been on point!
-Yes.
They've gotten so many big scoops.
I can't wait for the next one.
Everyone's talking about the paper.
We're getting more respect.
MANAKO JOUTEN,
NEWSPAPER CLUB LEADER
Let's keep on getting the big scoops.
Are we releasing my street witch folder?
That's never happening. Destroy it.
With the paper so close to advancing
to the next level,
there's only one target.
Kokomi Teruhashi.
She's the one who tanked our reputation.
Our school's most high-profile student.
We'll tail her starting today.
Did you see the paper?
That Matsuzaki is one sly dog.
We don't know if they are dating.
-Go talk somewhere else.
-You talking about comics?
-You're being manipulated by dumb gossip.
-I heard it was charcoal grey.
What's with the sunglasses?
These? They're to hide from paparazzi.
Nobody would follow you.
They would follow
Good morning. What are you talking about?
-Oh! Teruhashi!
-Oh! Teruhashi!
We were talking about the news
in the school paper.
-School paper?
-They've had some big scoops lately.
You should be careful
that they don't follow you.
I'm not interesting enough.
Well, someone even less interesting
is wearing sunglasses.
And Kaido is right.
You're being tailed.
How's the target?
Talking to some bland males.
"Look how I talk to social outcasts."
She's the worst!
You're not any better.
-Just shoot. Maybe we can use them.
-Right.
-Oh!
-What did you get?
An ugly picture of her?
Actually, I got a great one.
I'll make it a poster.
Don't forget our objective!
Don't shout!
I accidentally took a shot.
-What happened?
-It's nothing.
Let's follow her after school.
I'll put this in my pick-me-up folder.
Bye.
The target left school.
She doesn't even realize we're watching.
Now, show us your true colors.
Good grief.
I could say the same about you.
I didn't follow them to save Teruhashi.
I just have a problem
with the school paper.
Besides, she doesn't need my help.
I knew it. I'm being followed.
She already noticed.
It's two people.
Judging from the footsteps,
one male and one female.
They are still young.
Maybe my age or a little older.
That's way too specific.
Wait, somewhere a little further away
there's a third person.
She noticed me too?
I guess I'll blend in more.
I don't sense the third person anymore.
Was I imagining them?
But I'm guessing these two
are from the school paper.
They are probably trying to catch me
acting out of character.
How humorous.
Do they have any idea how many people
have tried following me?
Did you think you could tail me?
Absolutely ridiculous!
She sounds like an expert.
She seems normal.
I knew she wouldn't show her true colors
so easily.
I have a plan.
There's a puddle up ahead.
She will walk next to it,
and a car I've arrange
will drive by and splash her.
We will capture her muddy
and angry face with the camera!
I call it Operation Mud on Her Face!
Don't you know how to name stuff?
She will be finished.
Here comes the car, start shooting!
We got it!
Let's see that muddy face!
Oh, dear! I got splashed with water!
-Not a drop got on her face?
-My uniform is covered in mud.
Let's see all the mud
on your clothes then.
I hope it will wash out.
The mud has made a pattern!
-How about the pictures?
-I got them.
I'm entering this in a photo contest.
I'm sorry.
Teruhashi is a formidable force.
For the record, I didn't do anything.
That should get them to give up.
Time to go.
It's not over.
I'm getting a scoop on Kokomi Teruhashi.
-Give me your computer.
-Okay.
What's the funniest face you photographed?
I have the perfect one.
Wow! Yes! Exactly what I
That's me!
-It will work.
-What are you doing?
I crop the face out like this.
The headline is "Kokomi Teruhashi
Caught in a Disaster.
A Face You Wouldn't Believe."
She's so ugly.
The content is weak,
but it's good enough
considering her profile.
Was this puddle always here?
Time to go home
The camera and computer!
-on my motorcycle.
-The data is destroyed!
NEXT TIME
I had to look after people
a lot this time.
Probably more of the same next time.
Yes, same as always.
At least that's what I thought.
But are things going to get serious?
Touma Akechi? He was watching me?
Subtitle translation by Zensho Yamamoto