Quantum Leap s02e22 Episode Script
M.I.A. - April 1, 1969
Theorizing that one could time travel within his own lifetime, Dr.
Sam Beckett led an elite group of scientists into the desert to develop a top secret project known as Quantum Leap.
Pressured to prove his theories or lose funding, Dr.
Beckett prematurely stepped into the project accelerator and vanished.
He awoke to find himself in the past, suffering from partial amnesia and facing a mirror image that was not his own.
Fortunately, contact with his own time was maintained through brain wave transmissions with Al, the project observer, who appeared in the form of a hologram that only Dr.
Beckett can see and hear.
Trapped in the past, Dr.
Beckett finds himself leaping from life to life, putting things right that once went wrong and hoping each time that his next leap will be the leap home.
Oh, no, no, no, no, no! Not the heels! Not a woman again! No- Okay, Jake! They're on their way out! I'm goin' over the roof.
You copy, partner? Jake,you got 'em? Jake.
Jake! Narc.
Narc.
Oh, boy.
Come on! We quit, man! Come on! Quit firin'! - Got him covered, Skaggs? - Yeah, I got him! - We quit! We quit, man! - What happened? Jake.
Oh, man.
The pig shot me.
Jake? I'm bleedin', Boner.
I'm bleedin'.
Oh, man.
Where you hit,Jake? I'm a man! Your partner okay, Skaggs? I don't know.
He may have a concussion.
Better have the paramedics look at him when they get here.
Hey, man! I'm bleedin'.
I got a right to be looked at first! Just take it easy,Jake.
You have the right to remain silent! If you give up the right to remain silent, Hey, ow, ow, ow.
anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law.
Ow! Ow.
Jammed on ya, didn't it? What? You're not 007,Jake.
No, no.
I'm-I'm not.
I'm Jake.
They may not jam in the movies, but in real life they have a nasty habit- Twenty-seven on scene.
Twenty-seven 10-43.
Safety's on.
What happened? Hey! Hey! Turn around and shut up.
Well, uh- Nah, he's seen too many Bond movies.
His automatic jammed.
Carry a revolver, kid.
You'll live longer.
I'm bleedin' to death over here, and you pigs are talkin' about guns and ammo.
You know, I froze up once.
It was on a search-and-destroy in the Delta.
You know, I was point man.
Just-Just diddy-boppin' along like some F.
N.
G when I come face-to-face with this naked baby in the middle of the trail.
You know, and I knew it was an ambush.
But I just- I didn't move.
I just-just froze there, starin' at that baby, till, uh- till the platoon came up behind me and Charlie opened fire.
I mean, even then I didn't move.
I- I-I- I just stared at that baby, and that baby stared at me.
We finally- Somebody- I don't know.
Lieutenant Cody or Harper jumped up and body-blocked me off the trail.
Well, I figure, if a man's lucky, he gets to freeze up once in his life and live to talk about it.
- But not twice.
Honey, come on.
What happened to the baby? Man, don't leave that tissue in the car.
Lisa'll think I got a honey.
Oh, look at this! Whoo.
It's the heels, Sam.
Sam, you look cute in those three-inch high heels.
Hey, listen.
Lisa wants to meet ya.
Lisa? It's his wife.
Uh, yeah- Your wife, yeah.
Hey, never forget the name of your partner's wife, man.
It's not respectful.
Well, I-I just- I have trouble sometimes, uh, rememberin' names.
Oh, I got ya.
Yeah.
Like my own.
Where's my locker? Here it is.
I'm penciled in.
Well,you're the new boy here, Sam.
You just made detective.
And that's your partner, Sergeant Roger Skaggs.
He's a heck of an undercover detective.
As a matter of fact, his arrest record is the best in San Diego.
What am I here to do? I don't know, but, uh, it looks like my kinda work.
You know, I'm kiddin'? It's a hazing, Sam, like in a fraternity.
I know what it is, Al.
Tina will love this.
I'm sure she would.
Now, I think this will fit Lori.
Michelle! Whoo! Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
And I can't wait to see Elsa in this! What do you hear? Unless, of course, uh, you think it might look better on Lisa.
Hey! Get out of here! That's not funny! Shut up, all of you! You're all right, partner.
Elsa? What El- I don't remember any Elsa.
Pants.
Thank you.
Well, personally, uh, I think you'd look kinda foxy in this little purple number with the white fuzz.
Just my opinion.
Why am I here? Well, let's find out.
Your name is Jake Rawlins, and- Oh, this is interesting, Sam.
See,Jake is usually short forJacob.
But you're just plain Jake.
Never mind.
You graduated from UCSD in '65 with a B.
A.
in Criminal Justice.
Then you enrolled in the San Diego Police Academy a month later.
Well,you were second in your class there.
Sincejoining the force,you've received two commendations.
The first of which was, uh,you saved the life of a wounded fellow officer.
You shielded him with- Just twist that around your body if you wanna get if off.
- What? - Y-Your brassiere!Just twist the catch around to the front, so you can undo it.
Uh, you-you shielded him with your body uh, in a shootout during an attempted armed car robbery.
W- Well, I didn't.
I mean,Jake did.
Yeah, well- So, you're him now, sort of.
What, uh- What did Jake do wrong that I'm here to put right? You mean besides putting on your panty girdle backwards? - Looks okay.
- Trust me, Sam.
Trust me.
It's backwards.
- I didn't put it on anyway! - It's backwards! Al, don't- It's on backwards.
Okay.
Just what am I doin' in San Diego in- '69.
April 1, 196- Hey! It's April Fool's Day! Oh.
That's all I need.
A leap that's one big April Fool's Day joke.
You know, it would bejust like him to leap me in here to pull a- What's wrong? Sam, you're here to stop a woman from making the mistake of her lifetime.
What woman? Her name is Beth.
And her husband's an M.
I.
A.
- a naval pilot whose A-4 went down in the highlands over two years ago.
And she thinks he's dead.
But he's not.
No.
Uh, the V.
C.
have got him.
He's in a cage near Cham Hoi.
And he's gonna be repatriated in '73.
But Beth won't be there waiting for him.
Because she fell in love with somebody else? Yeah.
Someone she meets on April Fool's Day, 1969.
That's today, Sam.
Someone she's going to meet today.
You need a hand? What's wrong? You're not this upset about a flat tire, are you? I'm sorry.
I'm usually not such a baby.
Yeah, I can believe that.
It's not the tire.
It's, um- It's a lot of things.
The tire's just the proverbial straw.
Well, I don't know what I can do about a lot of things, but, uh, I can fix the straw.
That would be very nice.
Thank you.
- Dirk Simon.
- Oh, Beth Calavicci.
Oh, Italiano, huh? My husband or hi-his father was from Italy.
Oh, too bad.
You don't like Italians? Oh, no.
No, I love Italians.
It's, uh, too bad you have a husband.
If this is an April Fool's gag,Jake, you're gonna regret it a long time- a long, long time.
It's no gag.
Skaggs, there's this woman.
Beth.
- Yeah, that's her name.
- Who you've never met before but somehow know is in trouble.
- Well, she's gonna be in trouble.
- When she gets a flat tire in the marina - and some lawyer fixes it.
- That's what hap- what's going to happen.
You're loony tunes,Jake.
You know that.
I don't think so.
I know a man ain't supposed to cry Hold it! Hold it! Excuse me.
I'll do that.
I'll do that.
Excuse me.
Your husband? I've never seen him before in my life.
Excuse me, pal.
But who the hell are you? Jake.
Jake Rawlins.
Well, what do you think you're doin', Jake? Changin' a tire.
Oh, look, pal- Sir.
I've got the tire.
Would you please step over to the car and show me your I.
D.
? Please? Ma'am.
Just step over here, please.
Oh, I heard it Through the grapevine You got a little, uh, dirt smudge on your nose.
- What? - You got a little dirt right here.
Yeah.
That's- Mm-hmm.
So, uh, how long have you known the, uh, suspect? Suspect? I don't know her at all.
She had a flat, and I offered to help.
Yeah, would you have offered if she was 50 and fat? What has he done? Nothing yet.
Why are you questioning him? I really can't discuss that with you, Beth.
How do you know my name? I, uh, sort of, uh, got it Through the grapevine Through the grapevine - Not much longer would you be mine - Look.
What the hell is going on here? What's she suspected of doing? Uh, you- You wouldn't happen to be a lawyer, would you, Mr.
Simon? Yeah.
As a matter of fact, I am.
You're not gonna explain this, are you? Look, uh, I really can't divulge details of a police investigation.
Whatever you've done, if you need assistance, just give me a call.
Through the grapevine Oh, excuse me.
Would you mind handing me my bag, Jake? "Grapevine"by Marvin Gaye.
coming to you right here on 16 AM on the beach- You can stop looking over your shoulder - Thanks.
What have I done? Nothing.
Your partner just told him I did something wrong, while you let me think you were investigating him! Why? This, uh- This isn't easy to explain.
Um- Try me.
If I told you, you wouldn't believe me.
Lo-Look, I'm- I'm sorry, okay? Let's go.
This is an April Fool's joke, isn't it? My legs are falling asleep.
Gurus lay on beds of nails.
I mean, they walk barefoot over burning coals, sit naked in caves of ice.
They ignore the physical to attain the metaphysical.
I just want to attain a little circulation in my legs.
Couldn't I just, you know, stretch a little bit, Skaggs? No, concentrate on your mantra.
I just made the pusher.
I'll see if I can make a buy.
Hey, man, how you doin'? Ommm.
Far out! Ommm.
Ommm.
Ommm.
Ommm.
- Why am I still here? - You're here because you didn't stop Beth and this sleazebag attorney from getting together.
They were already together when I got there, but I got 'em apart.
Well, that's not enough! Ac-According to Ziggy, Beth gets the navy to declare her husband dead, and, then, she marries this legal nozzle in June.
Well, are you sure that this relationship with Dirk wasn't meant to be? Absolutely! What was meant to be was for Beth's husband to come back home and find her! I was an M.
I.
A.
And my wife thought I was dead.
And by the time they got word to her that I was alive, she had remarried and then disappeared.
And I don't want that to happen to her hu-husband.
I'm sorry, Al.
I- I should've remembered.
Oh, well, the leap swiss-cheesed your brain, Sam.
It's not your fault, but it will be if you don't keep this scuzzbag from seducing Beth.
I can't keep him away from her for the next four years.
Well, according to Ziggy, you don't have to.
She's been - She's been living alone the last two years, working double shifts as a nurse at Balboa Naval Hospital in the burn ward.
Yesterday, she lost a young marine that she really felt was gonna make it.
And I guess when he died, she- Maybe she lost the last little bit of hope that she was holding out for her-her husband.
So this weekend, she's gonna be more vulnerable than at any time in her life! She's gonna need someone to see her through this.
She needs someone to hold on to and someone to soothe her and someone to give her a big shoulder to cry on.
And someone who won't take advantage of her.
- Al- - If anyone can do this, you can.
And Ziggy, he'll give you all the right things to say, all the songs to play, all the places to take her that'll remind her of how much she loves her husband! That's all she needs, Sam, is just a little hope and, you know, a nudge and a memory.
I don't know, Al.
Somethin' about this doesn't feel right.
Trust me.
It's right.
Then, show me what's in the bag.
Outta here, Sunshine! Jake, stop her! Ooh whoo! All right! You just made a fool of yourself,man! Shut up! Jake, are you all right? Yeah.
Yeah.
Maybe you should've stretched your legs a little.
Funny, Skaggs.
Real funny.
Man, babies are a drag.
Hey.
Wanna sip a shooter, kid? Huh? Oh, that's real smart, Boner.
What? She only understands Mex.
¿Quieres un trago de tequila, niña, eh? Hey! ¡Eres tú loco! What kind of mother are you? See? You frightened her.
Better mama than you ever had.
Madre de Dios.
I'm sorry I made your bail.
- Billy the head come through? - Yeah, well, what do you think? Hey, Boner.
What? What did that pig call that narc that shot me? I don't remember.
Somethin' that started with an "S"? "Scabs.
" Yeah! That was it.
Scabs.
Boom! Boom.
Excuse me.
Can I borrow your young eyes for a second? What are you looking for? I'm looking for a blue-hulled sloop with a red, white and blue spinnaker.
Um, there it is at the far end of the bay.
Good.
I know it's silly.
He's a bit late.
But I always think the worst whenever he sails by himself.
The wind doesn't carry a watch.
You sound like my son.
Oh, she's a beautiful sloop.
Yes, she is.
Is your M.
I.
A.
bracelet for someone you know? My husband.
Oh, I am sorry.
Me too.
Well, I better be moving.
He'll be docked before I get down there.
Enjoy the sunset.
Thank you.
I don't mean to be presumptuous, but my son and I are dining at the Bay Club.
Would you care to join us? Oh, that's very nice of you, but I don't think I'm dressed right for the Bay Club.
Nonsense.
What could be more appropriate at a yachting club than a naval officer's uniform? Well, you sure your son wouldn't mind? No, I usually have a girlfriend my age in tow.
When Dirk sees you, he's going to be positively delighted.
Dirk? Dirk Simon? Yes! Do you know my son? I think we met yesterday.
The invitation's very nice of you, but I think I better pass.
Perhaps, another time.
I'd like that.
What are you doing here? How did you know that I was up here? Well, I used some advanced police surveillance techniques.
You had me followed? Not exactly.
Uh, look.
Th-These are for you.
I hate calla lilies.
You hate calla lilies? Actually, I love them.
Someone told you that, didn't they? Who? Beth, you can question me all night and not get any answers.
Or, you can let me take you to dinner, and I'll tell you why I'm here in my own time and in my own way.
It's up to you.
Dollar seventy-eight.
Keep the change.
- To cheap dates.
- Is that what I am? No.
No, no, no.
What I meant was that less than two bucks for a beer and tacos and a quesadilla- I mean, compared to what it would cost at- to get it somewhere else.
Okay.
Here goes.
Uh- Yesterday, um, My partner and I were on a stakeout at the marina, and it was a bum setup, so we were gettin' ready to leave, and I saw you struggling with a flat tire, and you looked pretty upset, and I've always had a thing- I've always had a soft spot for women who are upset.
So, uh- Well, before I could get to you, the other guy got there first.
Are you telling me that what happened yesterday was nothing more than an attempted pickup? Well, I, uh- I wouldn't put it exactly in those words.
But, uh- uh, sort of, yes.
My God.
- How did you know my name? - I ran a check on your license plate.
Then after you got rid of Dirk, why did you leave? I saw your wedding ring and M.
I.
A.
bracelet, and I-I felt pretty lousy.
Are you trying to tell me you have some moral code when it comes to picking up women? Yes.
Even a woman that's as pretty as you.
And why'd you come back? And why with calla lilies? Well, I owed you an apology and an explanation.
The flowers- Well, I thought you might listen to a man bearing flowers.
And I like calla lilies.
When they come in 80% burned, you know they're gonna die.
There's nothing you can do.
You try.
Sulfamylon, penicillin, Chloromycetin, actinomycetin-D.
But no matter what you do, sooner or later they go septic and die.
You learn not to get involved.
And then, one comes along like Andy- that's so strong you can feel it.
And a grin- a grin like Robert Redford.
It was the grin that did it.
It made me believe that if anyone could beat the odds, it would be him.
And, uh, for a while he did.
But then the day before yesterday, his blood started growing pseudomonas, and by dawn his, uh, temp was 106.
And he was, uh, vomiting blood.
And by noon, he was dead.
Oh, God.
I'm sorry.
I didn't mean to unload on you like this.
Skaggs,you know, this thing doesn't really fit.
Ah, a garbageman's overalls never fit.
Yours do.
Yeah, well, I'm the supervisor.
I have to set an example.
You got a hat too.
Hey, brother, how about a donation? Golly! You look like hell, Sam.
People who live in glass houses shouldn't throw- Don't hit me with clichés, Sam.
I'm not in the mood for it.
What have you been doin'? My job! Jake's-Jake's job.
Your job is to get Beth through this weekend without her falling for that ambulance chaser.
I've been wonderin' about that, Al.
I mean, when I went to talk to her yesterday, guess who she was with? The shyster.
Not the shy - Not Dirk, his mother.
They met.
Two strangers on a cliff.
Oh.
The weird part is, his mother invites Beth to join her and her son for dinner.
Well, you can't let her go! She didn't go.
But don't you think all these coincidences are a little strange if- if he doesn't want Beth and Dirk to fall in love? If he is the only one at work here.
But you seem to be forgetting about him.
I don't believe in the devil, Al.
Yeah, well, maybe you would if you were locked up in a tiger cage that was too small for you to stand up in and too narrow for you to sit down in, where you had to exist on-on weevil-infested rice and any rainwater you could catch in your mouth.
And the only thing that kept you alive was the memory of the woman you love.
And if you survive that, when you come home you find out that your wife has run off with some other guy! There's a devil, Sam, and he's trying to destroy Beth's life.
Here's your menu, sir.
Thank you.
I'll be back for your order in a minute.
Is everything all right? Thank you.
I take it everything turned out all right? What? With the police.
Oh! It was nothing really.
He, uh, saw I was in trouble and wanted to help.
- He was trying to pick you up.
- I'm afraid so.
- Was he successful? - I met your mother yesterday.
She told me she met an attractive young naval officer and invited her to dinner.
- It was really sweet of her.
- No.
She's not sweet.
She has a single son, and she wants grandchildren.
I'm sorry you had another commitment.
Uh, since you couldn't make dinner, why don't we have lunch? San Diego Police.
Narcotics.
Hello? I want to speak to, uh, Detective "Scabs.
" Skaggs, there's a chiquita on the phone for you.
It's the second time she's called.
Finally figured out she's askin' for you.
At least, I think it's you.
She said she's got a hot tip for a narc called "Scabs.
" "Scabs"? Thanks.
Did you get Beth that Ray Charles record of"Georgia"? I had enough trouble with the calla lilies.
Well, according to Ziggy, Beth loves calla lilies.
She loves Mexican food, and she loves Ray Charles singing "Georgia.
" Al.
Al.
How am I- Jake - How is Jake supposed to know what Beth loves? Well, okay.
All right, you got a point there.
Yeah.
But, see Ziggy feels that these things will remind her of her husband.
Al, I don't know how any woman can be goin' through what Beth is going through alone.
I mean, once she trusted me enough to let go, she cried all night.
You spent the whole night with her? Yeah, I spent the whole night with her, just holding her.
What are you lookin' at me like that for? You, of all peop-Just ho- Okay.
Okay.
Isn't that what I'm supposed to be doing in-in- instead of Dirk? Yes.
I'm sorry, Sam, all right? I'm sorry.
Nah, I'm sorry, Al.
I- You're goin' through a lot of- This leap is bringin' up a lot of painful stuff, and-and I just wish you didn't have to relive it.
So do I, Sam.
So do I.
I'm gonna go join my partner.
What about Beth? Al, I can't be with her Look, we're goin' to a movie as soon as I get off duty, so just relax! Everything's gonna work out.
Ask Ziggy.
Wait! She's with him.
With who? Who? With Dirk? Yes! At the bungalow.
Sam, you got to do something! I can't! I got to go on a stakeout! A stakeout? What's more important? Busting a couple of kids for smoking pot or stoppin' this bastard from puttin' the make on Beth? Flying was his first love, the navy was his second, and, I guess, I was his third.
But I knew that when I married him.
No children? He didn't believe in dragging kids from duty station to duty station.
He didn't understand what children would've done for me while he was gone.
In the eight years we've been married, between sea duty and T.
D.
Y.
assignments, we've actually lived together less than two.
And when he left for 'Nam for a second tour, four months after the first ended, I almost divorced him.
But you didn't.
No.
Why not? You don't divorce a man who's flying off to fight a war.
Or, uh- Or when he's missing in action.
I'm afraid that's just a euphemism for dead.
Jake, I didn't, uh, think you were getting off duty until 8:00.
Yeah, well, I, uh, took a day for sick leave.
Hi.
I, uh- Listen.
I thought we'd skip the movie, and just drive down south of the border and get a real Mexican dinner.
- I-I- I should've called first, but- - No, no.
No, I was just leaving.
Give you a call tomorrow? Oh.
Sure.
Oh, you didn't give me a parking ticket, did you? Thought about it.
We ran into each other at lunch.
First the flat tire, then his mother.
Oh, the woman I was talking to yesterday at the lookout? - That's Dirk's mother.
- Yeah.
I caught that.
The way we keep bumping into each other, it's like something out of a Russian novel.
Well, it's just coincidence.
I really wouldn't romanticize it too much.
I guess you're right.
Well,just give me a second to change.
Why don't you turn on the stereo? Oh! And there's a beer in the icebox.
Thanks.
Don't you love that? Yeah.
Yeah.
It's great.
You're right.
I can be too much of a romanticist sometimes.
My husband always accused me of that.
Al.
Oh, Al.
One thing the navy teaches you is how to get dressed in less- - Beth- - What is it? I don't think I'm supposed to be here.
Beth, um, listen, uh, I'll-I'll-I'll call ya.
I'll- I'll call ya later.
Al, don't go.
Al, if you close that door, don't ever open it again.
You know the rules, Al.
We can't change our own lives.
What are you talkin' about? Why didn't you tell me? Well, I- Al, as much as I'd like it to be, I don't think I'm here to keep you and Beth together.
Oh, yes, you are, Sam.
Yeah.
Uh- Ziggy says the- the odds are, they're real good.
"Real good"? Yeah.
How good? Oh, they're- You know, they're way up there.
Show me.
Aw, Sam.
God, I love her.
Beth is the only woman I really ever loved.
She's the only one I ever wanted to grow old with.
That's why all my marriages never worked after that.
Sam, if you're lucky, life is gonna give you one shot at true love.
And Beth was mine.
I lost her, but you can get her back for me.
God, Al, I wish I could.
But I can't and no one knows that better than you.
No.
I don't know it! In your heart, you do.
No, no.
You leaped in here to get Beth and me back together.
What if it was something more important? More important? Rosalie? Come here, baby.
I got you.
You're alive.
You're fine.
Sh-shh.
Quiet.
You're fine.
Nothing's gonna happen to you.
I got you now.
Shhh.
You're okay.
You're alive.
Look, she's okay.
She's alive.
I- Thanks, partner.
Sam, I had no idea their lives were in danger.
I never ran any scenarios through Ziggy except mine.
I know, Al.
I know.
Well, now that they're okay, how come we're still here? Well, I think that maybe, uh, he is givin' you a chance to see her before we leap.
No, I couldn't do that, Sam.
I can't do that.
I can't- I couldn't be near her and not speak with her and not touch her.
How do you know? Beth, I've missed you so much, honey.
It's been such a long time- 25 years.
Of course, you haven't changed, but I have.
I'm an admiral now.
Me, the ensign that said that anyone with a rank above lieutenant was a horse's ass.
Beth, you didn't hear me, did you? Oh, Beth, tell me you can hear me.
Look at me, Beth.
Oh, Sam, why did you make me do this? I want you to wait for me, Beth.
Don't give up, honey.
'Cause I'm alive out there.
And then we'll be alive because of our love.
And someday- Oh, Beth.
Someday, I'm gonna come back home to you.
Al.
Sam Beckett led an elite group of scientists into the desert to develop a top secret project known as Quantum Leap.
Pressured to prove his theories or lose funding, Dr.
Beckett prematurely stepped into the project accelerator and vanished.
He awoke to find himself in the past, suffering from partial amnesia and facing a mirror image that was not his own.
Fortunately, contact with his own time was maintained through brain wave transmissions with Al, the project observer, who appeared in the form of a hologram that only Dr.
Beckett can see and hear.
Trapped in the past, Dr.
Beckett finds himself leaping from life to life, putting things right that once went wrong and hoping each time that his next leap will be the leap home.
Oh, no, no, no, no, no! Not the heels! Not a woman again! No- Okay, Jake! They're on their way out! I'm goin' over the roof.
You copy, partner? Jake,you got 'em? Jake.
Jake! Narc.
Narc.
Oh, boy.
Come on! We quit, man! Come on! Quit firin'! - Got him covered, Skaggs? - Yeah, I got him! - We quit! We quit, man! - What happened? Jake.
Oh, man.
The pig shot me.
Jake? I'm bleedin', Boner.
I'm bleedin'.
Oh, man.
Where you hit,Jake? I'm a man! Your partner okay, Skaggs? I don't know.
He may have a concussion.
Better have the paramedics look at him when they get here.
Hey, man! I'm bleedin'.
I got a right to be looked at first! Just take it easy,Jake.
You have the right to remain silent! If you give up the right to remain silent, Hey, ow, ow, ow.
anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law.
Ow! Ow.
Jammed on ya, didn't it? What? You're not 007,Jake.
No, no.
I'm-I'm not.
I'm Jake.
They may not jam in the movies, but in real life they have a nasty habit- Twenty-seven on scene.
Twenty-seven 10-43.
Safety's on.
What happened? Hey! Hey! Turn around and shut up.
Well, uh- Nah, he's seen too many Bond movies.
His automatic jammed.
Carry a revolver, kid.
You'll live longer.
I'm bleedin' to death over here, and you pigs are talkin' about guns and ammo.
You know, I froze up once.
It was on a search-and-destroy in the Delta.
You know, I was point man.
Just-Just diddy-boppin' along like some F.
N.
G when I come face-to-face with this naked baby in the middle of the trail.
You know, and I knew it was an ambush.
But I just- I didn't move.
I just-just froze there, starin' at that baby, till, uh- till the platoon came up behind me and Charlie opened fire.
I mean, even then I didn't move.
I- I-I- I just stared at that baby, and that baby stared at me.
We finally- Somebody- I don't know.
Lieutenant Cody or Harper jumped up and body-blocked me off the trail.
Well, I figure, if a man's lucky, he gets to freeze up once in his life and live to talk about it.
- But not twice.
Honey, come on.
What happened to the baby? Man, don't leave that tissue in the car.
Lisa'll think I got a honey.
Oh, look at this! Whoo.
It's the heels, Sam.
Sam, you look cute in those three-inch high heels.
Hey, listen.
Lisa wants to meet ya.
Lisa? It's his wife.
Uh, yeah- Your wife, yeah.
Hey, never forget the name of your partner's wife, man.
It's not respectful.
Well, I-I just- I have trouble sometimes, uh, rememberin' names.
Oh, I got ya.
Yeah.
Like my own.
Where's my locker? Here it is.
I'm penciled in.
Well,you're the new boy here, Sam.
You just made detective.
And that's your partner, Sergeant Roger Skaggs.
He's a heck of an undercover detective.
As a matter of fact, his arrest record is the best in San Diego.
What am I here to do? I don't know, but, uh, it looks like my kinda work.
You know, I'm kiddin'? It's a hazing, Sam, like in a fraternity.
I know what it is, Al.
Tina will love this.
I'm sure she would.
Now, I think this will fit Lori.
Michelle! Whoo! Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
And I can't wait to see Elsa in this! What do you hear? Unless, of course, uh, you think it might look better on Lisa.
Hey! Get out of here! That's not funny! Shut up, all of you! You're all right, partner.
Elsa? What El- I don't remember any Elsa.
Pants.
Thank you.
Well, personally, uh, I think you'd look kinda foxy in this little purple number with the white fuzz.
Just my opinion.
Why am I here? Well, let's find out.
Your name is Jake Rawlins, and- Oh, this is interesting, Sam.
See,Jake is usually short forJacob.
But you're just plain Jake.
Never mind.
You graduated from UCSD in '65 with a B.
A.
in Criminal Justice.
Then you enrolled in the San Diego Police Academy a month later.
Well,you were second in your class there.
Sincejoining the force,you've received two commendations.
The first of which was, uh,you saved the life of a wounded fellow officer.
You shielded him with- Just twist that around your body if you wanna get if off.
- What? - Y-Your brassiere!Just twist the catch around to the front, so you can undo it.
Uh, you-you shielded him with your body uh, in a shootout during an attempted armed car robbery.
W- Well, I didn't.
I mean,Jake did.
Yeah, well- So, you're him now, sort of.
What, uh- What did Jake do wrong that I'm here to put right? You mean besides putting on your panty girdle backwards? - Looks okay.
- Trust me, Sam.
Trust me.
It's backwards.
- I didn't put it on anyway! - It's backwards! Al, don't- It's on backwards.
Okay.
Just what am I doin' in San Diego in- '69.
April 1, 196- Hey! It's April Fool's Day! Oh.
That's all I need.
A leap that's one big April Fool's Day joke.
You know, it would bejust like him to leap me in here to pull a- What's wrong? Sam, you're here to stop a woman from making the mistake of her lifetime.
What woman? Her name is Beth.
And her husband's an M.
I.
A.
- a naval pilot whose A-4 went down in the highlands over two years ago.
And she thinks he's dead.
But he's not.
No.
Uh, the V.
C.
have got him.
He's in a cage near Cham Hoi.
And he's gonna be repatriated in '73.
But Beth won't be there waiting for him.
Because she fell in love with somebody else? Yeah.
Someone she meets on April Fool's Day, 1969.
That's today, Sam.
Someone she's going to meet today.
You need a hand? What's wrong? You're not this upset about a flat tire, are you? I'm sorry.
I'm usually not such a baby.
Yeah, I can believe that.
It's not the tire.
It's, um- It's a lot of things.
The tire's just the proverbial straw.
Well, I don't know what I can do about a lot of things, but, uh, I can fix the straw.
That would be very nice.
Thank you.
- Dirk Simon.
- Oh, Beth Calavicci.
Oh, Italiano, huh? My husband or hi-his father was from Italy.
Oh, too bad.
You don't like Italians? Oh, no.
No, I love Italians.
It's, uh, too bad you have a husband.
If this is an April Fool's gag,Jake, you're gonna regret it a long time- a long, long time.
It's no gag.
Skaggs, there's this woman.
Beth.
- Yeah, that's her name.
- Who you've never met before but somehow know is in trouble.
- Well, she's gonna be in trouble.
- When she gets a flat tire in the marina - and some lawyer fixes it.
- That's what hap- what's going to happen.
You're loony tunes,Jake.
You know that.
I don't think so.
I know a man ain't supposed to cry Hold it! Hold it! Excuse me.
I'll do that.
I'll do that.
Excuse me.
Your husband? I've never seen him before in my life.
Excuse me, pal.
But who the hell are you? Jake.
Jake Rawlins.
Well, what do you think you're doin', Jake? Changin' a tire.
Oh, look, pal- Sir.
I've got the tire.
Would you please step over to the car and show me your I.
D.
? Please? Ma'am.
Just step over here, please.
Oh, I heard it Through the grapevine You got a little, uh, dirt smudge on your nose.
- What? - You got a little dirt right here.
Yeah.
That's- Mm-hmm.
So, uh, how long have you known the, uh, suspect? Suspect? I don't know her at all.
She had a flat, and I offered to help.
Yeah, would you have offered if she was 50 and fat? What has he done? Nothing yet.
Why are you questioning him? I really can't discuss that with you, Beth.
How do you know my name? I, uh, sort of, uh, got it Through the grapevine Through the grapevine - Not much longer would you be mine - Look.
What the hell is going on here? What's she suspected of doing? Uh, you- You wouldn't happen to be a lawyer, would you, Mr.
Simon? Yeah.
As a matter of fact, I am.
You're not gonna explain this, are you? Look, uh, I really can't divulge details of a police investigation.
Whatever you've done, if you need assistance, just give me a call.
Through the grapevine Oh, excuse me.
Would you mind handing me my bag, Jake? "Grapevine"by Marvin Gaye.
coming to you right here on 16 AM on the beach- You can stop looking over your shoulder - Thanks.
What have I done? Nothing.
Your partner just told him I did something wrong, while you let me think you were investigating him! Why? This, uh- This isn't easy to explain.
Um- Try me.
If I told you, you wouldn't believe me.
Lo-Look, I'm- I'm sorry, okay? Let's go.
This is an April Fool's joke, isn't it? My legs are falling asleep.
Gurus lay on beds of nails.
I mean, they walk barefoot over burning coals, sit naked in caves of ice.
They ignore the physical to attain the metaphysical.
I just want to attain a little circulation in my legs.
Couldn't I just, you know, stretch a little bit, Skaggs? No, concentrate on your mantra.
I just made the pusher.
I'll see if I can make a buy.
Hey, man, how you doin'? Ommm.
Far out! Ommm.
Ommm.
Ommm.
Ommm.
- Why am I still here? - You're here because you didn't stop Beth and this sleazebag attorney from getting together.
They were already together when I got there, but I got 'em apart.
Well, that's not enough! Ac-According to Ziggy, Beth gets the navy to declare her husband dead, and, then, she marries this legal nozzle in June.
Well, are you sure that this relationship with Dirk wasn't meant to be? Absolutely! What was meant to be was for Beth's husband to come back home and find her! I was an M.
I.
A.
And my wife thought I was dead.
And by the time they got word to her that I was alive, she had remarried and then disappeared.
And I don't want that to happen to her hu-husband.
I'm sorry, Al.
I- I should've remembered.
Oh, well, the leap swiss-cheesed your brain, Sam.
It's not your fault, but it will be if you don't keep this scuzzbag from seducing Beth.
I can't keep him away from her for the next four years.
Well, according to Ziggy, you don't have to.
She's been - She's been living alone the last two years, working double shifts as a nurse at Balboa Naval Hospital in the burn ward.
Yesterday, she lost a young marine that she really felt was gonna make it.
And I guess when he died, she- Maybe she lost the last little bit of hope that she was holding out for her-her husband.
So this weekend, she's gonna be more vulnerable than at any time in her life! She's gonna need someone to see her through this.
She needs someone to hold on to and someone to soothe her and someone to give her a big shoulder to cry on.
And someone who won't take advantage of her.
- Al- - If anyone can do this, you can.
And Ziggy, he'll give you all the right things to say, all the songs to play, all the places to take her that'll remind her of how much she loves her husband! That's all she needs, Sam, is just a little hope and, you know, a nudge and a memory.
I don't know, Al.
Somethin' about this doesn't feel right.
Trust me.
It's right.
Then, show me what's in the bag.
Outta here, Sunshine! Jake, stop her! Ooh whoo! All right! You just made a fool of yourself,man! Shut up! Jake, are you all right? Yeah.
Yeah.
Maybe you should've stretched your legs a little.
Funny, Skaggs.
Real funny.
Man, babies are a drag.
Hey.
Wanna sip a shooter, kid? Huh? Oh, that's real smart, Boner.
What? She only understands Mex.
¿Quieres un trago de tequila, niña, eh? Hey! ¡Eres tú loco! What kind of mother are you? See? You frightened her.
Better mama than you ever had.
Madre de Dios.
I'm sorry I made your bail.
- Billy the head come through? - Yeah, well, what do you think? Hey, Boner.
What? What did that pig call that narc that shot me? I don't remember.
Somethin' that started with an "S"? "Scabs.
" Yeah! That was it.
Scabs.
Boom! Boom.
Excuse me.
Can I borrow your young eyes for a second? What are you looking for? I'm looking for a blue-hulled sloop with a red, white and blue spinnaker.
Um, there it is at the far end of the bay.
Good.
I know it's silly.
He's a bit late.
But I always think the worst whenever he sails by himself.
The wind doesn't carry a watch.
You sound like my son.
Oh, she's a beautiful sloop.
Yes, she is.
Is your M.
I.
A.
bracelet for someone you know? My husband.
Oh, I am sorry.
Me too.
Well, I better be moving.
He'll be docked before I get down there.
Enjoy the sunset.
Thank you.
I don't mean to be presumptuous, but my son and I are dining at the Bay Club.
Would you care to join us? Oh, that's very nice of you, but I don't think I'm dressed right for the Bay Club.
Nonsense.
What could be more appropriate at a yachting club than a naval officer's uniform? Well, you sure your son wouldn't mind? No, I usually have a girlfriend my age in tow.
When Dirk sees you, he's going to be positively delighted.
Dirk? Dirk Simon? Yes! Do you know my son? I think we met yesterday.
The invitation's very nice of you, but I think I better pass.
Perhaps, another time.
I'd like that.
What are you doing here? How did you know that I was up here? Well, I used some advanced police surveillance techniques.
You had me followed? Not exactly.
Uh, look.
Th-These are for you.
I hate calla lilies.
You hate calla lilies? Actually, I love them.
Someone told you that, didn't they? Who? Beth, you can question me all night and not get any answers.
Or, you can let me take you to dinner, and I'll tell you why I'm here in my own time and in my own way.
It's up to you.
Dollar seventy-eight.
Keep the change.
- To cheap dates.
- Is that what I am? No.
No, no, no.
What I meant was that less than two bucks for a beer and tacos and a quesadilla- I mean, compared to what it would cost at- to get it somewhere else.
Okay.
Here goes.
Uh- Yesterday, um, My partner and I were on a stakeout at the marina, and it was a bum setup, so we were gettin' ready to leave, and I saw you struggling with a flat tire, and you looked pretty upset, and I've always had a thing- I've always had a soft spot for women who are upset.
So, uh- Well, before I could get to you, the other guy got there first.
Are you telling me that what happened yesterday was nothing more than an attempted pickup? Well, I, uh- I wouldn't put it exactly in those words.
But, uh- uh, sort of, yes.
My God.
- How did you know my name? - I ran a check on your license plate.
Then after you got rid of Dirk, why did you leave? I saw your wedding ring and M.
I.
A.
bracelet, and I-I felt pretty lousy.
Are you trying to tell me you have some moral code when it comes to picking up women? Yes.
Even a woman that's as pretty as you.
And why'd you come back? And why with calla lilies? Well, I owed you an apology and an explanation.
The flowers- Well, I thought you might listen to a man bearing flowers.
And I like calla lilies.
When they come in 80% burned, you know they're gonna die.
There's nothing you can do.
You try.
Sulfamylon, penicillin, Chloromycetin, actinomycetin-D.
But no matter what you do, sooner or later they go septic and die.
You learn not to get involved.
And then, one comes along like Andy- that's so strong you can feel it.
And a grin- a grin like Robert Redford.
It was the grin that did it.
It made me believe that if anyone could beat the odds, it would be him.
And, uh, for a while he did.
But then the day before yesterday, his blood started growing pseudomonas, and by dawn his, uh, temp was 106.
And he was, uh, vomiting blood.
And by noon, he was dead.
Oh, God.
I'm sorry.
I didn't mean to unload on you like this.
Skaggs,you know, this thing doesn't really fit.
Ah, a garbageman's overalls never fit.
Yours do.
Yeah, well, I'm the supervisor.
I have to set an example.
You got a hat too.
Hey, brother, how about a donation? Golly! You look like hell, Sam.
People who live in glass houses shouldn't throw- Don't hit me with clichés, Sam.
I'm not in the mood for it.
What have you been doin'? My job! Jake's-Jake's job.
Your job is to get Beth through this weekend without her falling for that ambulance chaser.
I've been wonderin' about that, Al.
I mean, when I went to talk to her yesterday, guess who she was with? The shyster.
Not the shy - Not Dirk, his mother.
They met.
Two strangers on a cliff.
Oh.
The weird part is, his mother invites Beth to join her and her son for dinner.
Well, you can't let her go! She didn't go.
But don't you think all these coincidences are a little strange if- if he doesn't want Beth and Dirk to fall in love? If he is the only one at work here.
But you seem to be forgetting about him.
I don't believe in the devil, Al.
Yeah, well, maybe you would if you were locked up in a tiger cage that was too small for you to stand up in and too narrow for you to sit down in, where you had to exist on-on weevil-infested rice and any rainwater you could catch in your mouth.
And the only thing that kept you alive was the memory of the woman you love.
And if you survive that, when you come home you find out that your wife has run off with some other guy! There's a devil, Sam, and he's trying to destroy Beth's life.
Here's your menu, sir.
Thank you.
I'll be back for your order in a minute.
Is everything all right? Thank you.
I take it everything turned out all right? What? With the police.
Oh! It was nothing really.
He, uh, saw I was in trouble and wanted to help.
- He was trying to pick you up.
- I'm afraid so.
- Was he successful? - I met your mother yesterday.
She told me she met an attractive young naval officer and invited her to dinner.
- It was really sweet of her.
- No.
She's not sweet.
She has a single son, and she wants grandchildren.
I'm sorry you had another commitment.
Uh, since you couldn't make dinner, why don't we have lunch? San Diego Police.
Narcotics.
Hello? I want to speak to, uh, Detective "Scabs.
" Skaggs, there's a chiquita on the phone for you.
It's the second time she's called.
Finally figured out she's askin' for you.
At least, I think it's you.
She said she's got a hot tip for a narc called "Scabs.
" "Scabs"? Thanks.
Did you get Beth that Ray Charles record of"Georgia"? I had enough trouble with the calla lilies.
Well, according to Ziggy, Beth loves calla lilies.
She loves Mexican food, and she loves Ray Charles singing "Georgia.
" Al.
Al.
How am I- Jake - How is Jake supposed to know what Beth loves? Well, okay.
All right, you got a point there.
Yeah.
But, see Ziggy feels that these things will remind her of her husband.
Al, I don't know how any woman can be goin' through what Beth is going through alone.
I mean, once she trusted me enough to let go, she cried all night.
You spent the whole night with her? Yeah, I spent the whole night with her, just holding her.
What are you lookin' at me like that for? You, of all peop-Just ho- Okay.
Okay.
Isn't that what I'm supposed to be doing in-in- instead of Dirk? Yes.
I'm sorry, Sam, all right? I'm sorry.
Nah, I'm sorry, Al.
I- You're goin' through a lot of- This leap is bringin' up a lot of painful stuff, and-and I just wish you didn't have to relive it.
So do I, Sam.
So do I.
I'm gonna go join my partner.
What about Beth? Al, I can't be with her Look, we're goin' to a movie as soon as I get off duty, so just relax! Everything's gonna work out.
Ask Ziggy.
Wait! She's with him.
With who? Who? With Dirk? Yes! At the bungalow.
Sam, you got to do something! I can't! I got to go on a stakeout! A stakeout? What's more important? Busting a couple of kids for smoking pot or stoppin' this bastard from puttin' the make on Beth? Flying was his first love, the navy was his second, and, I guess, I was his third.
But I knew that when I married him.
No children? He didn't believe in dragging kids from duty station to duty station.
He didn't understand what children would've done for me while he was gone.
In the eight years we've been married, between sea duty and T.
D.
Y.
assignments, we've actually lived together less than two.
And when he left for 'Nam for a second tour, four months after the first ended, I almost divorced him.
But you didn't.
No.
Why not? You don't divorce a man who's flying off to fight a war.
Or, uh- Or when he's missing in action.
I'm afraid that's just a euphemism for dead.
Jake, I didn't, uh, think you were getting off duty until 8:00.
Yeah, well, I, uh, took a day for sick leave.
Hi.
I, uh- Listen.
I thought we'd skip the movie, and just drive down south of the border and get a real Mexican dinner.
- I-I- I should've called first, but- - No, no.
No, I was just leaving.
Give you a call tomorrow? Oh.
Sure.
Oh, you didn't give me a parking ticket, did you? Thought about it.
We ran into each other at lunch.
First the flat tire, then his mother.
Oh, the woman I was talking to yesterday at the lookout? - That's Dirk's mother.
- Yeah.
I caught that.
The way we keep bumping into each other, it's like something out of a Russian novel.
Well, it's just coincidence.
I really wouldn't romanticize it too much.
I guess you're right.
Well,just give me a second to change.
Why don't you turn on the stereo? Oh! And there's a beer in the icebox.
Thanks.
Don't you love that? Yeah.
Yeah.
It's great.
You're right.
I can be too much of a romanticist sometimes.
My husband always accused me of that.
Al.
Oh, Al.
One thing the navy teaches you is how to get dressed in less- - Beth- - What is it? I don't think I'm supposed to be here.
Beth, um, listen, uh, I'll-I'll-I'll call ya.
I'll- I'll call ya later.
Al, don't go.
Al, if you close that door, don't ever open it again.
You know the rules, Al.
We can't change our own lives.
What are you talkin' about? Why didn't you tell me? Well, I- Al, as much as I'd like it to be, I don't think I'm here to keep you and Beth together.
Oh, yes, you are, Sam.
Yeah.
Uh- Ziggy says the- the odds are, they're real good.
"Real good"? Yeah.
How good? Oh, they're- You know, they're way up there.
Show me.
Aw, Sam.
God, I love her.
Beth is the only woman I really ever loved.
She's the only one I ever wanted to grow old with.
That's why all my marriages never worked after that.
Sam, if you're lucky, life is gonna give you one shot at true love.
And Beth was mine.
I lost her, but you can get her back for me.
God, Al, I wish I could.
But I can't and no one knows that better than you.
No.
I don't know it! In your heart, you do.
No, no.
You leaped in here to get Beth and me back together.
What if it was something more important? More important? Rosalie? Come here, baby.
I got you.
You're alive.
You're fine.
Sh-shh.
Quiet.
You're fine.
Nothing's gonna happen to you.
I got you now.
Shhh.
You're okay.
You're alive.
Look, she's okay.
She's alive.
I- Thanks, partner.
Sam, I had no idea their lives were in danger.
I never ran any scenarios through Ziggy except mine.
I know, Al.
I know.
Well, now that they're okay, how come we're still here? Well, I think that maybe, uh, he is givin' you a chance to see her before we leap.
No, I couldn't do that, Sam.
I can't do that.
I can't- I couldn't be near her and not speak with her and not touch her.
How do you know? Beth, I've missed you so much, honey.
It's been such a long time- 25 years.
Of course, you haven't changed, but I have.
I'm an admiral now.
Me, the ensign that said that anyone with a rank above lieutenant was a horse's ass.
Beth, you didn't hear me, did you? Oh, Beth, tell me you can hear me.
Look at me, Beth.
Oh, Sam, why did you make me do this? I want you to wait for me, Beth.
Don't give up, honey.
'Cause I'm alive out there.
And then we'll be alive because of our love.
And someday- Oh, Beth.
Someday, I'm gonna come back home to you.
Al.