Sonny with a Chance (2009) s02e22 Episode Script

Sunscreen for my cruise to cancun! Whoopee cushion for my week at camp comedy.
Bikini.
Slide whistle.
Funny nose and glasses hmm? - Flip-flops.
- These aren't mine, no.
Aw, look at you randoms going away for your week off, Which in a way is like giving me a week off too.
- You I'll miss.
- Aw, I'll miss you too.
Oh, I haven't even left for my cruise yet.
And I already feel seasick.
Oh hey, speaking of things that make you sick, I don't know if you heard, but my life as I know it is over.
What? Oh, chad, I'm only going to be gone to camp comedy for a week.
Oh, not 'cause of you, milady.
Condor studios are so cheap.
They give me nothing.
Zac efron's studio? Bought him a car.
Then they bought him a house.
To put that car in.
Then they put that house on an island.
And named it after him.
Look! It's called zac island.
Oh, okay, you know what, chad? Look, you've got everything that you need.
You've got a great parking spot.
You have room rvice in your dressing room.
What else do you want? Someone to cut your meat for you? Oh my gosh, you get that too?! - Well, it's just for the filet.
- You get filet? - Efron gets kobe.
- Kobe beef? No, bryant.
He comes in and cuts his steak for him.
You know what? I'm going to mr.
Condor.
And I'm giving him a list of my demands.
You just need to be grateful for what you have.
Think about it you have a wonderful girlfriend.
Who lets you carry her luggage And puts up with your baggage.
You're right.
Come on, I'll drive you to the airport.
You know, efron has a full-time chauffeur so - Oh well, maybe I should date efron then.
- Do not even joke about that! off to the races, I'm going places might be a long shot, not gonna waste it this is the big break and it's calling my name yeah so far, so great, get with it at least that's how I see it having a dream is just the beginning so far, so great, believe it can't take away is feeling taking a ride with chance on my side yeah, I can't wait so far, so great so far, so great ba ba da da-da, ba da da da-da ba ba da da-da, ba da da da-da yow! finally.
Everyone's away so grady gets to play! Well, what should I do first? Ah, first thing is to stop talking to myself.
And the second thing is oh look.
I just broke the first thing.
You know what? No rules, just video games.
Game on.
Stupid hurricane.
Game off.
Can you believe they canceled a cruise because of a 14omph wind? You know what I did? I went right up to that captain, I looked him in the eye and I said, "man up! " next thing I know, That man was up and blowing across the deck.
Let me guess, you're going to spend your vacation.
At home like nico and zora.
Wrong! My house is getting bedazzled.
So I will be spending my vacation right here.
Whoo! Hey, I'm gonna go get some spray tan and guacamole.
Hey, frankenstein just called.
He wants his bride back.
Oh and, grady, your really annoying loud brother is here.
Hey hey, gravy! What up, pup? Hey, grant.
What are you doing here? Oh, I just finished my first semester of college, brah.
I don't want to brag, but I got straight "c"s! In two of my classes.
So where are you planning on staying? Oh, with my fraternity brothers, bro, - At the local delta nu house.
- All right! Scooter, tubbs, where you at? delta nu, delta nu party down with my crew - we're so much better than all of - You! - what's our name? - Delta nu.
.
Oh yeah! All right.
So let me guess you're gonna hit three.
Me, the beach and dad up for money.
I'm here to work, grots.
Get me a summer job.
Wow, look at you being mr.
Responsible.
So what are you gonna do? Get a job washing cars.
Or bagging groceries? I'm gonna do what you do work in showbiz; Be a director; Star in a movie; Find some old rich lady to take care of me for a couple of months.
Hey, you leave grandma alone! Oh, you didn't hear? What what what?! Psych! You're so gullible, bro.
You can't just waltz into hollywood and be a star.
And then scare me about grandma.
I'm sorry I freaked you out about grandbones.
But I'm still very serious about getting a job.
It's not as easy as you think, grant.
You have to start at the bottom.
Oh, you mean like "so random!" Booyah! See, I can do comedy.
Oh yeah, the bottom, "so random!" yeah.
- But there's nothing funny about grandbones being dead.
- What? See, I can do drama too.
I'm totally kidding.
- She's fine, she's just fine.
- All right, okay.
Delta nu, bam! Oh hey, mind if I join you? I don't know what you're saying.
Why don't you join me? Oh, are you eating for two since nico's not here? Oh oh, it's not for me.
It's a little welcome present for my brother grant.
Whoop, oh no.
Yeah, I got him his first hollywood job as a cafeteria busboy.
Oh, I even got him this apron.
He thinks working on "so random!" is the bottom.
I'll show him the bottom, baby.
Nice.
Nice.
Nice try.
Ooh, a coconut drink with an umbrella Tropical.
Hey, you know what would make this better? Bigger! Scooter, tubbs, go find me a coconut.
Big enough to fit that umbrella.
Oh yeah, huh! Oh, so what was that job you called me about? Well, you're looking at it.
Congratulations, you are now a hollywood busboy.
Whoa.
Whoa.
I didn't attend one third of my classes in college to be a busboy.
Oh, by the way, is that a sarong? Because on you it looks so right! Only a jerk like you would say out loud.
What everyone else in this room is thinking.
You know what else they're thinking? This guy shouldn't be cleaning up tables, he should be dancing on them! nu nu nu nu nu nu.
.
Wow, that is one arrogant guy.
Yeah, that attitude's gonna get him nowhere.
Oh, f.
Y.
I.
, mr.
Condor, Here's my list of demands.
It accordions out.
You reaccordion this.
And clean up that table! We don't want the dancer to slip.
Everything always goes grant's way.
Oh come on.
You're exaggerating.
- coconut! - Coco-what? - coconut! - Coco-what? .
Am I exaggerating, tawni? Am I? Okay, great first day at camp, kids.
Now remember, pies are for eating, not throwing.
I know what cabin you sleep in, brian! Hello? - Hello? - Hello? Sonny? Sonny, I can't hear you.
Hold on.
I'm gonna try and move around, find a good spot.
Chad? Hey, I can't hear you either.
The reception's horrible.
Thank you, you're adorable too.
I gave my list to mr.
Condor.
No no, I didn't see a condor, But I think I saw an eagle.
No! No no no no.
Everything I'm asking for is legal.
Okay, I'm not sure what you're asking, But my advice is don't be greedy.
That is great advice.
I will be greedy! No no, why would you beat grady? Wait.
Oh, brian, put down that pie.
I gotta go.
What? Hello? This is a nightmare.
Chad, I've looked over your entire list.
And the answer is yes to all of it.
- Really? The indoor spa? - Yes.
- The bumper cars? - Yes.
My weight in chocolate? Agreed.
I believe that covers the entire list.
Should we put this baby to bed? Deal? Not quite.
A wise woman once told me I should be greedy, - So I want a pony.
- A pony?! Yes, a pony the one thing zac efron did not get from his list.
So I want a pony.
And I want his name to be frank.
You're pushing it, cooper.
And I want a puppy to ride on the pony's back, 'cause it is really cute when they do that.
Now do we have a deal? Here's what we have.
- You can take frank - Oh, I got a pony! - And the puppy on his back - Aww.
And ride them off together to the land of you-are-fired.
Because, as the name of the land indicates, you are fired! Where is this coming from? Hello? No, chad, I still can't hear anything.
How did everything go with mr.
Condor? Oh, I got fired from "mackenzie falls" and I lost everything.
Oh, you got everything? Good for you! - Oh, hello? - Hello? - Hello? - Hello.
We're sorry.
Your service has been disconnected.
What? No, you know what? You can take my phone, You can take my job.
You cannot take my dressing room! I am mackenzie, do you hear me! You will never get me out.
Okay, you got me out, But you still can't do the show without me.
I am mackenzie! Hey, brah, I didn't need to start at the bottom at all.
I totally just landed a job on my ownski.
You'll never replace me! - I'm the new mackenzie.
- You're the new mackenzie? I'm the new mackenzie.
- You're the new mackenzie? - I am the new mackenzie.
- delta nu! - No-ooo! Nu-uuuuuu! Grady's losing it.
Grady's losing it! Grady's losing it fast.
I can't believe grant! He comes into hollywood.
With his nus and his "nice!" And his stupid giant coconut.
And then he thinks he can play in my sandbox my sandbox! Oh, oh no, oh no.
Oh whoa-aaaa.
I think you might have used a wee bit too much spray tan.
According to this bottle, I should be a "golden goddess.
" According to these eyes you are "oompa loompa.
" What? I look like a carrot stick.
Not nice! Check it out, brah.
Bam! "there's a new mackenzie in town"? Totes.
I want you to check out my new crew from my new show.
- Hold this.
- Oh okay.
Mack nu! - What happened to the delta nus? - Oh, I've been busy.
Doing the hollywood thing with my "mack falls" crew.
This dude is my laugh guy.
That's not funny.
Good work! And this is my flosser.
Oh yeah! And this is my biographer.
Are you gettg all this? Good! Then get it over there.
And make me sound smart.
The only thing I'm missing is my human sack man.
- What? - A human to carry the sack, man, With all my new cool hollywood stuff in it.
Hey, that could be your job! I have a job.
Right.
I keep forgetting about that.
Look at us! A couple of guys that came to hollywood with a dream.
- My dream.
- We worked hard.
You got here yesterday! Man, I remember when I was bussing tables.
I bussed the table! Eh, you know, the bottom line is.
Now that I've made it, At least one of the mitchell brothers made it, right? Mom can finally be proud.
Excuse me for one second.
Grady's lost it! Who needs a job? I've got my pony and I've got my puppy.
Ooh yes.
Ma! I said I'd make my bed in a minute.
Hi, chad.
Can I come in? - Oh hey, buddy.
- Buddy? Wow, he's worse off than I thought.
Oh man! I've dreamt of a room like this.
No way, a racecar bed! How could you have ever wanted to move out of here? Ah, don't worry.
We are not making that mistake again.
Are we, frank? No no.
Chad, I can understand the allure of this Modern-day eden, But we've got to get you back on the "falls" where you belong.
I don't belong there.
- I'm not mackenzie anymore.
- Not mackenzie?! You're kidding me.
You are the only mackenzie.
Without you there'd be no "falls.
" It'd just be water falling off a rock.
You gave it purpose.
You gave it a name! What happened to that chad dylan cooper, huh? The one who was arrogant, full of himself, Who made all our lives miserable? The chad dylan cooper we all know and hate? You put that horsie down! Get out of the coolest bed I've ever seen, March right back down to that studio.
And reclaim what's rightfully yours! So come on, man.
Let's go! We're gonna go.
Ha ha ha! Dude, did you not hear that gigantic speech? Have you seen the "falls" since you left? Have you seen what grant has done to mackenzie? I don't care about mackenzie anymore.
Really, chad? Really? I know my face is different since the accident.
But my heart's the same, brah! Oh, he did not just call her "brah.
" Mm-hmm.
I can't believe grandbones mackenzie is dead.
Bam! That's for thinking grandbones mackenzie is dead.
delta nu! .
What did he do to mackenzie?! He nu'd him up, chad.
He nu'd him up good! - What do you got to say to that? - I don't like it! - And neither does frank.
- Oh well, maybe you should listen to frank.
And what would frank have you do? He'd want me to go take the "falls" back.
Well, what are you gonna do? - I'm gonna go take the "falls" back.
- All right! - Ha ha ha! To the studio.
- To the studio.
What up, pup? Why are there delta nu letters all over that dorky vest? Oh, 'cause I'm a delta nu now.
Nu-nu! Not funny, what is going on? You haven't been around the delta nu house.
So you don't know about all the exciting changes.
You're letting in chicks? Orange ones? Yep, and we have a new delta nu president.
That'd be me.
Scooter, tubbs, what did they do to you? You've been busy as mackenzie.
I had some free time, And scott and melvin tubberson here, Needed a new leader.
So I took over and made a few changes.
delta nu, delta nu study hard, obey curfew return library books when they are due - or renew - At delta nu.
.
It burns! Oh.
Grant, what's going on? You're late.
Everyone is waiting for you down on the set.
They're gonna have to keep on waiting, condude, Because I quit! I can't let delta nu take a back seat to my summer job.
Summer job? You're gonna give up.
A hollywood career to go back to some fraternity? You obviously don't know the deep respect.
Fraternity brothers have for one another.
Scooter, tubbs, grab my giant coconut and let's bounce.
What? I What am I gonna do now? I need a mackenzie.
You know, you've got one right there.
The orange chick? No, the pasty dude.
I don't know, The old mackenzie was pretty greedy a pony and a puppy.
Well, sir, the new mackenzie has been humbled.
I'll settle for either a puppy or a pony.
- You'll get neither! - I'll take it.
Grady, I couldn't have gotten my job back without you.
You know, I learned a valuable lesson.
About being happy with what you have, And about how whether you're chad dylan cooper.
Or zac efron.
Studios just don't want to give you live animals.
No problem, buddy.
Yeah, about the whole buddy thing Oh oh, yeah, I get it.
Everything's back to normal now, huh? So this is where you call security.
And kick me out of your dressing room, right? You know what? As my way of saying thank you, Why don't you kick yourself out? - Oh, you mean it? - You've earned it.
Okay, uh Security! Oh no, I just can't.
My friend.
He's my buddy.
Oh no, oh oh oh! Game on.
- What up, pup? - Game off.
I'm outie.
Just wanted to say bye-onara.
Hey, grant, before you leave I have to confess something.
What? That chad didn't really take over delta nu.
And it was a big scam so he could get his job back? Oh, not the face! Not the face! Relax, I'm not mad.
All right.
You know, I figured if me being here.
Drove you to team up with a dude you can't stand, I must have really been cramping your styles.
I mean, this whole hollywood thing is your thing, not mine.
You know? And I should have never crashed your party.
- Thanks, bro.
- 'Cause there's a million other parties in this town to crash! Whoo! Well, are you coming? Oh yeah.
Yeah! Oh hey, willy wonka called.
He needs you back at the chocolate factory.
Oh, are you leaving already? Ni-iiiiiice! Nice.
Have you always wanted to be the class clown? Well, now you can, Thanks to camp comedy.
Where you'll learn classic comedy skills like the double take The spit take The double spit take.
You'll also learn advanced physical comedy bits.
Like the banana-peel slip Whoops.
And the fine art of stepping on a rake.
We'll also teach you how to be funny without using words at all.
Woo-woo-woo.
Ah-oooo! That's camp comedy.
Call now.