The Fall Guy (1981) s02e22 Episode Script
The Chase
(FINGERS SNAPPING) COLT: # Well, I'm hot the kind to kiss and tell But I've been seen with Farrah # I've never been with anything less than a nine, so fine! # I've been on fire with Sally Field Gone fast with a girl named Bo # But somehow they just don't end up as mine # It's a death-defying life I lead I take my chances # I die for a livin' in the movies and TV # But the hardest thing I ever do is watch my leading ladies # Kiss some other guy while I'm bandaging my knee # I might fall from a tall building I might roll a brand-new car # 'Cause I'm the unknown stuntman that made Redford such a star (FINGERS SNAPPING) # I've never spent much time in school But I taught ladies plenty # It's true I hire my body out for pay # Hey, hey # I've gotten burned over Cheryl Tiegs Blown up for Raquel Welch # But when I wind up in the hay It's only hay # Hey, hey # I might jump an open drawbridge Or Tarzan from a vine # 'Cause I'm the unknown stuntman that makes Eastwood look so fine # (WHISTLING) (CLICK) (CAR ENGINE STARTING) Sid.
There he is.
That's him.
(R&B MUSIC PLAYING) John (TIRES SCREECHING) CALVIN: Are you sure he saw us? SID: Damn right, I am! (SIREN WAILING) The cops! What do we do? We just keep going.
(TIRES SCREECHING) (EXCLAIMS) Step out of the car, please.
CALVIN: Let's get a closer look, and then we'll split.
Hey, Officer.
Hey, these the killers coming up the street here.
They saw me seeing them killing somebody! Yeah, I'm telling you, they are killers! They are cold-blooded murderers! They shot a man right out in the middle of the street! That's why I ran! This your Rolls? Well, that's beside the point! I'm telling you, I know what I'm talking about.
Those guys are after me.
They're gonna get me, man.
We gotta do something about it! Hey! - Come on.
- I'm telling you! They're gonna get me! CALVIN: It could be worse.
At least we know where he is.
We'll get him in jail.
DIRECTOR: ON MEGAPHONE: Okay, This is a take.
Roll cameras.
Cue Howie and Colt.
Are you ready, kid? A couple more Quonset huts and I'll be right there, Colt.
Hey, remember, I got to lure you to the cliff.
Lure on, MacDuff! Kid, I said, "Make it close", but I already shaved this morning.
All right! Good timing, Colt.
All right, kid, now come up behind me.
Make it easy.
You got 20 tons of steel at your fingertips.
Don't worry, Colt, it's totally under control.
All right, let's go for it.
I'm out, Howie, do it! DIRECTOR: ON MEGAPHONE'.
Cut it! Okay, let's put out the fire.
Howie, bring the tank in.
- Colt! Hi.
You're just in time! - In time for what? To make the easiest $5,000 you ever made.
This is an absolute cinch.
What are you, some kind of recording? The last three were a cinch.
All it costed me was a busted elbow, a week in the hospital, and I lost a Redford picture.
Oh, Colt.
Those jobs, the men wanted to get away.
This guy wants to turn himself in! Well, why don't he? Doesn't he? Because he's paranoid.
Paranoid's a man who suffers from delusions of persecution.
Thinks everybody is against him, and he's convinced that he gets the worst of everything.
Yeah, I know the feeling.
What are his manifestations? You know, I studied a year of psychology at the Mayo Clinic.
Hey, Howie, hold the Mayo, will you? Well, he says he saw a killing, but there was no body found.
And then he claims that someone was trying to chase him down and kill him.
The police were there.
Nothing.
And then he says that when he was in jail, someone tried to kill him twice.
But there was no witnesses, no evidence, you know.
He certainly sounds like a paranoid.
Yeah, or a man with a lot of enemies.
Where is he? Garvey, Texas.
Colt, please.
I'll even throw in all the expenses and a rental plane so you can fly down there and back in no time at all.
But if he's that mistrustful, why would he come back at all? Well, his lawyers are convinced that if he comes back, they can straighten everything out.
All right, I'll go.
Colt Oh! Oh, great! Well, here's a map.
I know where Texas is.
Yes, well, you don't know where he's hiding.
Now he's hiding? TERRI: Okay, go to the He's going to be waiting there at 2:00 tomorrow.
Well, I'm right on that dead-gum Max? Max! Don't turn around! Colt Seaver? Max Downey? Show me some identification.
Here.
just don't turn around.
just stand right there.
Don't turn around.
I ain't turning around yet.
Here.
Here, here, here, here, here.
Hey, you can turn around.
Can I keep the card? Why not? In six hours, you'll be safe and sound.
Let's go.
Oh, like the last time, you mean? Did you really get shot at twice? Not shot at, knifed at! Well, how'd you get away? Street stomped.
Here, I'll show you how it goes.
You can't touch me.
I'm too fast! Go ahead, take a hit.
- I don't wanna hit you.
-'Cause you can't! Come on, try it.
Come on! Come on! How'd you do that? I guess I know the step.
Hey, Colt! Hey! No, no! Don't! Wait.
Don't.
I had to get even.
Get even? You're the one that asked to be hit, not me! Yeah, that's true, but, you know, I can't stand you getting the one-upsman on me.
It makes me neurotic.
You understand? Yeah, I understand.
I just hope you do.
Now get in the car.
Good God! A hard left to the chin! Boy! This is gonna be one alert trip.
You really are a paranoid.
No.
I'm a Baptist.
CALVIN: We've been on Seavers' tail since Terri Michaels sent him after Downey.
We're watching his plane now at the airfield.
Jason, stop worrying.
It's under control.
They must not, I repeat, must not board that aircraft.
CALVIN: I rigged the rental car before they even picked it up.
Oh, I see.
Good.
What's your contingency there? Contingency, sir? Yes.
I mean, you failed before, in the street, in the jail.
Now, everything I've built is in jeopardy because of that.
Sid's with me.
Calvin, I don't trust gunmen 100% like him.
That's the nature of the business we're in, sir.
Ours is not a business.
Ours is a cause.
Sorry, sir.
A cause.
Trust me.
I wasn't followed.
You think you'd know if they didn't want you to? Man, they got devices to pick up a nit's spit 50 miles away.
- Who is this "they" you keep talking about? - I wish I knew.
But I'll tell you, they are connected every which way, including loose! How else do you think they could get somebody into jail after me? Do you think it could be the Syndicate? - Syndicate? You think it's the Syndicate? - I don't know.
Then what are you saying it for, anyway? Who needs to hear rumors like that? You some kind of sadist? Who else goes around shooting people in broad daylight on the street according to you? According to me? Man, because they know how to get rid of a body, doesn't mean they didn't make that body in the first place! Here's the airport.
Can you trust the pilot? Are you kidding? Totally.
It's me.
(DEVICE BEEPING) SID: Hey, what's the story with that beeping? CALVIN: It lets me know they're getting closer.
- So? - Well, I have to wait until they're in range.
When the beeps become a steady tone, those guys have had it.
Hey, you been playing under the dash? No.
Why? Somebody has! Let's get out of here! - Don't be hysterical.
- It's better than blowing up! SID: Well, do it! CALVIN: Let them get from behind the hangars.
I wanna see this one.
You happy now? We can't wait.
I'm going for it! Yeah, I'm happy.
How about you? SID: You didn't get them at all.
That's them in the field! That's it! Get in! HOWIE: That's right.
That's right.
Colt Seavers.
Please.
just patch me through to him on the plane, okay? WOMAN ON RADIO: Colt Seavers, there's a Caz'! for you from Howie Manson.
- Shall [patch it through? Jake H, Max.
- Go ahead with your call! - Colt? No.
This is Max Downey.
Colt's pretty busy right now.
Too busy to talk to me? I'm his partner.
(GUNSHOT) (SCOFFS) You might be sole owner pretty soon.
{an he hear ma? - Yeah.
Go ahead.
Listen, Colt, I've been doing a little detective work out here.
I think there might be some truth to what Max Downey's been saying.
In fact, you could be in trouble down there.
Trouble? Us? (GUNFIRE) - What was that? Backfires? - Bullets! Bullets! Are you sure? I won't be sure until one hits, darling! Hold tight.
- What are you gonna do? - Clip their wings.
I can't steer it! They're in our tail! MAX: Take off! Take off, man! COLT: I'm trying to, but he's pushing us into the hangars.
MAX: Don't let him do that! HOWIE: What was that crash? MAX".
We lost our wings! What about the gunmen? They're still chasing us.
Well, how? (SCOFFS) Their car is fine.
- Well, now we [eff the airport.
- You took off without wings? No, the traffic is much lighter.
Howie, that's crazy! Don't blame me.
That's what he said! Give me the phone! Colt, hi, this is Terri.
Terri, what are you doing to me? This guy you sent to help me out, he's been getting us into one terrible mess after another.
(TIRES SCREECHING) Why don't you be quiet? Now, you just keep your eye on the road.
The last thing we need is an accident.
Now, Terri, you wouldn't believe what I've been going through! - Right off the bat he hits me! - Colt? Rocky! My jaw feels like ground sand.
Then he takes me into a car with a bomb in it, and it blows up! And now, he's driving along on the city streets in an airplane! Talking about a wing and a prayer, we ain't got either one of them! TERRY: What just happened? Colt's having trouble staying in the road.
Would you tell him to be careful, please? Oh, that's a very good suggestion.
Colt, would you be careful? Well, are you planning to come all the way back to LA like that? The way he drives? Terri, this man's a walking disaster area.
Colt, you sound as paranoid as he does.
I can't help it.
He's contagious.
And you give me a ticket? MAX: Colt! That's a lake in front of us! Stay on the road! I'm trying! But he's pushing us right into it! TERRY: Colt, what just happened? Now he wants to try out the plane as a submarine.
A submarine? And it looks like we going that way! COLT: Hang on! MAX: Oh, no! TERRY.
Colt! Max! What happened? Max, swim for the boat! You gotta be out of your mind! I can't believe it.
I lost my wallet, my ID, my credit card, my money, everything! (SCOFFS) Well, I got my wallet.
But it doesn't do us much good, man.
I ain't got no money.
I ain't got no credit card.
It's like we were prisoners.
Well, at least we can make one call.
You better make it good.
Where are you going? Oh, I'll try to hitch us a ride.
(PHONE RINGING) Colt? We were worried sick about you.
Yeah? Well, I still am.
What was all that stuff about the submarine? It didn't work.
The plane sank.
I think the best bet is for you to go to the next big town and grab the first plane home.
That's too dangerous.
Whoever is out to get Max, and now me, are very well-connected.
I mean, they even knew I was coming to get Max.
Well, how could they? Well, the only way would be through the extradition papers.
But they're confidential! Well, that's the point.
I mean, they knew I'd hired a plane.
They were waiting at the field for me.
They even knew I wired ahead for a car, and even had a bomb attached before I took delivery! (HORN HONKING) I don't believe this.
Colt? Colt, what? Colt, what don't you believe? Colt? Colt? Colt, are you there? Hello? Hello, Colt? Colt.
Hey! Hey! Where'd you get that? You wouldn't believe it or I'd tell you! Well, I know that, but tell me, anyway.
Well, first, there's a certain logic in our position.
You stole it.
Stole it? No way! I left your card.
- My card? - That's right.
I even wrote a little note on the back telling them that we would be responsible for anything that happened to it.
We would? My card? Yeah.
Well, let's face facts, buddy.
We can't go to a hotel.
We're broke.
They'd find us.
We can't even camp out.
Why not? - Bugs.
"Bugs? Yeah, bugs! Have you ever been outside in the country at night? The worst! But with this, we can go all the way back to LA, nice and comfy-poo, and nobody would know about it.
- Hello, Colt? "Comfy-poo? It's even got a color TV! Howie, if somebody calls looking for a lost That's lost motor home, it's been found.
I've got it, and I'll return it in a couple of days in perfect condition.
Listen, Colt, stay right there.
You need my help, and I can be down there in a couple of hours.
No, no! No, no, I No, you stay where you are.
I got enough problems.
Hey, a little slower around the bends.
It makes the TV look fuzzy.
- Sorry.
- That's okay.
You meant well.
Is this your normal operation after you hot-wire a car, to go on a joyride? (SCOFFS) If you call this a joyride, I'd hate to see how the rest of your life is spent.
And another thing, stop calling me a thief.
Well, ain't that what you were arrested for? No way! I was resisting arrest.
I work for a car repossession company, and I saw a shooting and the killers came after me and the cops came between us and chased me instead of them.
Oh, and you were just an innocent bystander, right? That's right! A babe in the woods.
And talking about babes in the woods, it's a long way to Los Angeles and granted you're about the best company a man could ask for.
(LAUGHS SARCASTICALLY) A real laugh riot.
However, it would be cosy to have a couple of nice ladies snuggled up back here, huh? They wouldn't be nice ladies if they were snuggled up with you! Well, that's even better.
So why don't you pull up and stop at the next beer joint or cafe or bowling alley.
You're very discriminating.
You bet I am! And they got to wear skirts or slacks and talk enough to say "yes.
" - What happened? - Any bruises show? I've been pounding my head up against the bureaucracy and red tape all day.
Did you find out anything? A little.
Nothing good for our side.
- Who's on the other side? - That's the problem.
Nobody's quite telling me.
Except there's a small group of men who are very strongly-connected.
It seems they've formed these illegal paramilitary groups all over the country to "save democracy" as they see it.
In other words, they kill anybody who doesn't agree with them.
That's right.
And our friend Max has witnessed one of the leaders assassinating a member.
He could unravel the entire organization if he identifies him.
So, they will do anything to stop him, including killing Max and Colt.
That's it! He needs me! I'm going to go help.
Howie, I would go with you, but I don't know where he is.
(SIGHS) - I know how you feel, Howie.
-"They also serve who sit and wait.
" There's another joint! Come on, Let's get some company.
Hey! Come on! Let's stop! No.
Forget it.
Now don't tell me I'm stuck with a (TIRES SCREECHING) PETE ON RADIO: We just made contact.
Hey, I was only kidding.
(HONKING) - Somethingâs wrong with that truck - PETE: Moving 1?? on them right now.
We're being set up.
There's a truck coming up right behind us real fast! And a couple of others that could be with them, too! They've got the whole countryside out against us! - How could they get to them? - Now you see what I mean.
Those guys are connected right to the main juice! PETE".
We're smashing 'them to smithereens, BB! Oh, sounds good, Pete.
You there, Mike? This is Mike.
I'm about to hit them now! I don't know how I'm going to get you out of this mess.
Keeping your mouth closed would be a big step in the right direction.
(HONKING) MIKE: This guy's a sitting duck, Foley.
Listen to this one! (CRASHING) You sure it's the right one? Well, he left his calling card.
Looks like we're gonna prove that honesty don't pay.
I'm glad you left my card.
You wouldn't have used the motor home if I hadn't.
And we wouldn't be in this jam.
You're the stuntman, drive us out of it.
What for? It'd give you more to whine about when you talk to Terri again.
If I talk to her again, you mean.
Well, what if the owner goes to the police? Now, what for? I mean, I already paid him in full for the motor home, just so he wouldn't go to the police! Very good.
We'll reimburse you.
That won't be necessary.
It's my patriotic duty.
And that's one place you ain't never gonna catch me short! Mr Jason will be proud of your contribution.
Do you suppose maybe we could give him a call? Kind of ease his mind? After it's over.
It won't take long.
My boys is just as dedicated as I am.
MAX: And man, don't take any of that jive I was giving to her personally.
You weren't talking about the guy down the street, you know.
I mean, don't you understand? It's got to be perfectly clear that I turned myself in and wanted to report back to Los Angeles.
If anything happens, it's got to be your fault, not mine, or my rear's back in the sling! Hey, slick, you're getting past him! Don't be too sure.
FOLEY ON RADIO: Hello, neker-do-wells.
The trap is set! Cue them up, boys! (HONKING) MAX: Hey, man, you moved right into their trap! How long do you think I'm gonna put up with this stuff? Let's get out of here! What's going on out there? How come that thing's still on the road? PETE".
It won't be for long.
You can depend on it.
Well, more than me's depending on it.
I ain't gonna fail first chance we got to prove what kind of men we are! I'm sick and tired of hitting this floor.
I'll get us out of here! Give me that wheel! Fine! Take it! Are you crazy? Put your hands back! What can I do? That reminds me of a Lancaster picture I once did, almost the same situation.
Well, can you do what you did there? Yeah, but we all ended up dead in the picture.
FOLEY ON RADIO: What's going on? PETE: We're pulverizing him.
COLT: I gotta get that red truck out of the way! That's better.
Now jam it to the floor and let them smell our dust.
Will you do what I tell you? To the floor! It is! It is! - Then why doesn't it go any faster? - That's all it can do.
- What a lemon! - Demand your money back! They're heading right for us! Hey, there's an opening.
Go for it.
What're you trying to do? Hey, I'm just following orders.
MIKE ON RADIO: I'm naming back onto them! All right! I'm with him! I'm out of control! -(CHUCKLES) One down! - For all the good it'll do.
- Why are we stopping? - Regroup.
- Regroup? There's only us.
- Mmm-hmm.
PETE".
Billy's truck is gone.
He's okay, but it's up to the roadblock to stop them now.
Amateurs.
I told you to let me handle it.
Amateurs? We've been training for five years to be ready for the day to make this country safe for democracy.
I mean, real democracy.
Not that lily-livered kind like we got now.
(PHONE BEEPING) Yes, Mr Jason.
Is our little problem solved? No.
But we are well on our way to a final solution.
May I speak to Foley, please? He wants to talk to you.
Mr Jason? Sir, I just wanted to tell you what a real pleasure it is for me to talk to you personal-like, you know? Well, thank you, Foley.
Thank you very much.
Why can't we stop these two men? Well, I am! I've got my best men on it.
And what if they're unsuccessful? Well, then we'll put some more on it.
Many as necessary.
Put all your people on this now! Yes, sir! He's a great man, you know? I'm gonna turn out all my people.
We're gonna nail them guys! No.
Worried about that boyish figure? If anything happens, what a waste that would be.
(CHUCKLES) The wailing that would go on! A tragedy.
You've got a big following, huh? Following? Parade! just like a candy store.
Sweet and delicious.
- Yeah.
- I'll have to show you around when this is over.
If! If, you mean.
Well, don't be a pessimist.
I got us this far.
Yeah? Well what the heck you got planned for us next? We go on! They're probably waiting for us.
Well, we sure ain't going back that way.
Well, it might surprise them.
What do you think we should do? I think you should surrender.
You crazy? They'd kill me! Well, it would solve half of our problem.
But, we'll wait for a last resort.
You think maybe they've given up? Mmm-mmm.
Why not? Well, they're too anxious to see us dead.
Huh.
Well, I think the first thing we should do is get rid of this hearse and get another car.
Can't do that, either.
- Why not? - Because I'm out of cards.
- All right, go ahead and drive.
- Yes, sir! All right! (UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING) You can just relax and leave the driving to me.
You got an expert at the wheel.
We're home free.
Oh, no - What is it? - Well, it looks like an accident.
But all the kids look okay.
- No, it's a set-up.
Get out of here! - You sure? That truck over there was after us before.
- It looks like we got company.
- Keep driving.
PETE ON RADIO: Hey, Foley, Moose is going to take rare of them.
We'll double back and check on Joe.
- What a big man! - Really big! I don't know how I'm gonna get you out of this mess.
You nail the guy in the back since I'm driving.
Yeah, no problem.
(GROANS) - Did you get him? - Yeah, he's gonna be sore for a while.
(CHUCKLES) - We did good, didn't we? - Where do "we" hurt? Well, what is that, a Sherman Tank? PETE".
Hey, Foley, Moose fell off and I'm stopping to pick him up.
- Forget Moose, get that motor home or else! -(STAMMERING) YES, sir.
Boy, it'd be real nice to get a little bit of luck out of this.
Ah! Luck is for amateurs! I don't need any of your mouth! Hey! Hey, hey, we're on the same side for now.
Now, Sid and I will circle around in case they get by your men.
They can't.
We're gonna get them! (CAR HORNS BLARING) MAX: There's that white truck again.
(TIRES SCREECHING) - What are you doing? - I'm leaving.
You can't leave me here alone! (CHUCKLES) That got them.
I told you to leave the driving to an expert.
Pretty good, huh? I was too busy to applaud.
You know, it's unbelievable.
How could anyone kill a nice guy like me? Well, they've tried knives, fire and bullets.
Maybe a stake through the heart would do it.
I don't understand.
Why don't you like me? Mainly, it's your personality.
I finished the stunt and got here as fast as I could.
Did you hear anything from Colt? Not a sound.
Well, I just can't hang around here any longer! You can't just go running off half-cocked.
Listen, Jody, fools rush in where angels fear to tread.
Don't go anywhere.
Man, this thing is a disgrace! We can't ride all the way back to Los Angeles in this! Yeah, well, you're not taking another vehicle.
Colt, I have to tell you.
I'm a little worried.
Just don't panic and run for home again.
What're you talking about? Why else would you run all the way back to Texas? It's only natural to head for home when you're scared.
Look, I called my sister when I left Los Angeles and she told me these nice guys visited and asked about me.
The last thing in the world I wanted was to put her life in danger because of me.
So, lucky me! I ended up with you.
(SCOFFS) Well, you ain't exactly the bargain of the week.
And I resent you hitting me! You got one-up on me.
And I plan on staying that way.
You really think you're a tough guy, don't you? Max, I may have been raised in a different city than you, but the streets were the same.
We should have handled it all the way.
Amateurs! Well, we have the best-trained people in the world helping us now.
Hey! There, up ahead! There's a nice, safe place to stop.
There is no "nice, safe place.
" What are you talking about? They can't see in the dark.
Oh, they can see in the dark, all right.
Well, you've got to be kidding! Look, if they've got the muscle to turn out all that scum, infiltrate a jail, they probably got sophisticated surveillance equipment like infra-red scanners.
Well, maybe they lost us? (SCOFFS) Come on, let's face it, this bunch doesn't give up.
It's to the finish.
Either until we identify them or they kill us.
Colt, I'm getting that strange feeling.
I want to go home.
So do I.
- PILOT ON RADIO: I think I've spotted them.
- Can you see me? Roger.
You're not too far away from them.
- Colt, I'm starving! - Check the fridge.
- Milk and cheese.
I can't eat that stuff.
- Why not? Not an inch of fat.
See? The ladies like that.
I can't improve on perfection.
(HELICOPTER APPROACHING) What's that? It must be those eyes in the night I was telling you about.
PILOT ON RADIO: H's them.
No quest/on about if.
Good work.
You're not too far away from them.
Keep heading in the same direction.
- We'll handle it from here.
- Roger.
- Huh.
It's gone.
- Maybe.
We're only a few minutes away.
Take that lane ahead.
There they are! I'll show you how a pro works.
- Come on.
We're going.
- What for? - It don't feel right.
- It feels fine to me.
I'm staying here.
You want to go conscious or unconscious? Look, we're all right here.
Now, I've got good instincts and I've learnt to trust them.
What do your instincts tell you about this? - That you're gonna bop me.
Mmm-hmm.
- Come on.
Hey! You're very alert.
Look, one more move like that and you're gonna go handcuffed.
- Do you understand me? - You try that and you're gonna find yourself flat on the floor.
Maybe we ought to find out about that right now.
Well, now, you still got time to forget about going and save face.
- Yeah? - Yeah.
Last chance.
Back off! Oh, man, you are lucky! My instincts just changed.
It's time to go.
Good instincts.
SID: I've got it set.
Hey, you've got to be kidding! The two of us on that? (SHUSHING) We got company.
Let's get out of here.
- Well, aren't we gonna ride it out? - No, help me push.
- What you talking about? Push? - Push! Man, you got to be out of your mind.
Where are we going to push this thing, man? (COLT SHUSHING) The motor home? Well, we sure are lucky my instincts changed.
- Well, that's that.
- No.
In a little while.
- What are we waiting for? - I want to wait after the fire dies down.
- That's ghoulish.
- Well, only if there are bodies.
Hey, Colt, slow down, man! This doesn't feel too good.
Why don't you let me take over? Come on! I know how to drive these things! Have a heart, Colt.
Please, man, we've been riding all night, Colt! Have a little mercy on me.
My back is killing me.
Hey, Colt, how much longer we gonna keep this up? Oh, all the way to LA, if we're lucky.
Oh, man, you're a sadist! Hey! I saw that! You hit that bump on purpose.
Now, that's petty.
We're gonna have to get off the road.
Go across country.
-(ON RADIO) This is shopper Olympus.
- CALVIN: Go ahead, Olympus.
You say those guys are on a motorcycle? We saw tracks.
There'd be two men riding on it.
Well, then I've got them.
Two men on a motorcycle.
They've just turned off the main road and they're heading cross-country.
You think that's Big Brother keeping an eye on us? What's our position to them? You're almost parallel.
If you keep going in the same direction and swing left at the first dirt road, you've got a good chance to cut them off.
Thanks.
You better pull back again so they don't make you.
Roger.
COLT: How're you doing back there? Awful! Hey, look! The chopper is gone, man! - Let's get back on the main road.
- No! It could be dangerous.
CALVIN: There they are! How do you keep doing it? Getting into mess after mess after mess? We're not gaining on them.
It's a standoff.
The cycle's too fast.
- What's wrong? What's wrong? - Almost out of gas.
Oh, man! You are unreal.
First you get me out here in the middle of nowhere and then you run out of gas! You ever make a transfer? What's a transfer? When we get next to that train, we transfer from the bike to the train.
You got to be kidding! Get me next to it! - Okay, go for it! - I ain't going nowhere! Well, then you're gonna be sitting here by yourself.
I'll transfer! I'll transfer! (GUNFIRE) (GUNFIRE) (GUNFIRE) Let them go! - You haven't got a gun? - No! What kind of bounty hunter are you, putting my life in jeopardy? - You haven't got a gun? - No! But get in! - What for? - Get in! - Hold on! - That's all I do with you! - Hold on! - To what? Oh, no! Not again! COLT: You can open your eyes now.
What's wrong? My plan worked.
We got them! Yeah.
Well, I still haven't gotten rid of you! You know, I think I'd make a hell of a stuntman.
I think we could be a team, don't you think? (MAX CLEARS THROAT) TERRI Hi! JODY: Hello! HOWIE: What happened to jail? There was a mad race between Calvin and Sid to see who would turn state's evidence first.
I nearly didn't make it here in time for the celebration.
Oh, really? Why not? - I am a hero.
- And humble.
Well, it's hard to be humble and truthful.
At the press conference I had to tell them how I did it.
Yeah.
They say Max is responsible for the entire underground operation crumbling.
Well, that's great! Let's start the celebration.
For the all-American hero.
- Milk? - It's good for you.
It'll help you with your parade.
- They're going to throw a parade for him? - Yeah! Go ahead.
Trust me.
Trust you? After what you did to me? You wouldn't believe what this man put me through.
One mess after another.
Well, I was telling them at the press conference
There he is.
That's him.
(R&B MUSIC PLAYING) John (TIRES SCREECHING) CALVIN: Are you sure he saw us? SID: Damn right, I am! (SIREN WAILING) The cops! What do we do? We just keep going.
(TIRES SCREECHING) (EXCLAIMS) Step out of the car, please.
CALVIN: Let's get a closer look, and then we'll split.
Hey, Officer.
Hey, these the killers coming up the street here.
They saw me seeing them killing somebody! Yeah, I'm telling you, they are killers! They are cold-blooded murderers! They shot a man right out in the middle of the street! That's why I ran! This your Rolls? Well, that's beside the point! I'm telling you, I know what I'm talking about.
Those guys are after me.
They're gonna get me, man.
We gotta do something about it! Hey! - Come on.
- I'm telling you! They're gonna get me! CALVIN: It could be worse.
At least we know where he is.
We'll get him in jail.
DIRECTOR: ON MEGAPHONE: Okay, This is a take.
Roll cameras.
Cue Howie and Colt.
Are you ready, kid? A couple more Quonset huts and I'll be right there, Colt.
Hey, remember, I got to lure you to the cliff.
Lure on, MacDuff! Kid, I said, "Make it close", but I already shaved this morning.
All right! Good timing, Colt.
All right, kid, now come up behind me.
Make it easy.
You got 20 tons of steel at your fingertips.
Don't worry, Colt, it's totally under control.
All right, let's go for it.
I'm out, Howie, do it! DIRECTOR: ON MEGAPHONE'.
Cut it! Okay, let's put out the fire.
Howie, bring the tank in.
- Colt! Hi.
You're just in time! - In time for what? To make the easiest $5,000 you ever made.
This is an absolute cinch.
What are you, some kind of recording? The last three were a cinch.
All it costed me was a busted elbow, a week in the hospital, and I lost a Redford picture.
Oh, Colt.
Those jobs, the men wanted to get away.
This guy wants to turn himself in! Well, why don't he? Doesn't he? Because he's paranoid.
Paranoid's a man who suffers from delusions of persecution.
Thinks everybody is against him, and he's convinced that he gets the worst of everything.
Yeah, I know the feeling.
What are his manifestations? You know, I studied a year of psychology at the Mayo Clinic.
Hey, Howie, hold the Mayo, will you? Well, he says he saw a killing, but there was no body found.
And then he claims that someone was trying to chase him down and kill him.
The police were there.
Nothing.
And then he says that when he was in jail, someone tried to kill him twice.
But there was no witnesses, no evidence, you know.
He certainly sounds like a paranoid.
Yeah, or a man with a lot of enemies.
Where is he? Garvey, Texas.
Colt, please.
I'll even throw in all the expenses and a rental plane so you can fly down there and back in no time at all.
But if he's that mistrustful, why would he come back at all? Well, his lawyers are convinced that if he comes back, they can straighten everything out.
All right, I'll go.
Colt Oh! Oh, great! Well, here's a map.
I know where Texas is.
Yes, well, you don't know where he's hiding.
Now he's hiding? TERRI: Okay, go to the He's going to be waiting there at 2:00 tomorrow.
Well, I'm right on that dead-gum Max? Max! Don't turn around! Colt Seaver? Max Downey? Show me some identification.
Here.
just don't turn around.
just stand right there.
Don't turn around.
I ain't turning around yet.
Here.
Here, here, here, here, here.
Hey, you can turn around.
Can I keep the card? Why not? In six hours, you'll be safe and sound.
Let's go.
Oh, like the last time, you mean? Did you really get shot at twice? Not shot at, knifed at! Well, how'd you get away? Street stomped.
Here, I'll show you how it goes.
You can't touch me.
I'm too fast! Go ahead, take a hit.
- I don't wanna hit you.
-'Cause you can't! Come on, try it.
Come on! Come on! How'd you do that? I guess I know the step.
Hey, Colt! Hey! No, no! Don't! Wait.
Don't.
I had to get even.
Get even? You're the one that asked to be hit, not me! Yeah, that's true, but, you know, I can't stand you getting the one-upsman on me.
It makes me neurotic.
You understand? Yeah, I understand.
I just hope you do.
Now get in the car.
Good God! A hard left to the chin! Boy! This is gonna be one alert trip.
You really are a paranoid.
No.
I'm a Baptist.
CALVIN: We've been on Seavers' tail since Terri Michaels sent him after Downey.
We're watching his plane now at the airfield.
Jason, stop worrying.
It's under control.
They must not, I repeat, must not board that aircraft.
CALVIN: I rigged the rental car before they even picked it up.
Oh, I see.
Good.
What's your contingency there? Contingency, sir? Yes.
I mean, you failed before, in the street, in the jail.
Now, everything I've built is in jeopardy because of that.
Sid's with me.
Calvin, I don't trust gunmen 100% like him.
That's the nature of the business we're in, sir.
Ours is not a business.
Ours is a cause.
Sorry, sir.
A cause.
Trust me.
I wasn't followed.
You think you'd know if they didn't want you to? Man, they got devices to pick up a nit's spit 50 miles away.
- Who is this "they" you keep talking about? - I wish I knew.
But I'll tell you, they are connected every which way, including loose! How else do you think they could get somebody into jail after me? Do you think it could be the Syndicate? - Syndicate? You think it's the Syndicate? - I don't know.
Then what are you saying it for, anyway? Who needs to hear rumors like that? You some kind of sadist? Who else goes around shooting people in broad daylight on the street according to you? According to me? Man, because they know how to get rid of a body, doesn't mean they didn't make that body in the first place! Here's the airport.
Can you trust the pilot? Are you kidding? Totally.
It's me.
(DEVICE BEEPING) SID: Hey, what's the story with that beeping? CALVIN: It lets me know they're getting closer.
- So? - Well, I have to wait until they're in range.
When the beeps become a steady tone, those guys have had it.
Hey, you been playing under the dash? No.
Why? Somebody has! Let's get out of here! - Don't be hysterical.
- It's better than blowing up! SID: Well, do it! CALVIN: Let them get from behind the hangars.
I wanna see this one.
You happy now? We can't wait.
I'm going for it! Yeah, I'm happy.
How about you? SID: You didn't get them at all.
That's them in the field! That's it! Get in! HOWIE: That's right.
That's right.
Colt Seavers.
Please.
just patch me through to him on the plane, okay? WOMAN ON RADIO: Colt Seavers, there's a Caz'! for you from Howie Manson.
- Shall [patch it through? Jake H, Max.
- Go ahead with your call! - Colt? No.
This is Max Downey.
Colt's pretty busy right now.
Too busy to talk to me? I'm his partner.
(GUNSHOT) (SCOFFS) You might be sole owner pretty soon.
{an he hear ma? - Yeah.
Go ahead.
Listen, Colt, I've been doing a little detective work out here.
I think there might be some truth to what Max Downey's been saying.
In fact, you could be in trouble down there.
Trouble? Us? (GUNFIRE) - What was that? Backfires? - Bullets! Bullets! Are you sure? I won't be sure until one hits, darling! Hold tight.
- What are you gonna do? - Clip their wings.
I can't steer it! They're in our tail! MAX: Take off! Take off, man! COLT: I'm trying to, but he's pushing us into the hangars.
MAX: Don't let him do that! HOWIE: What was that crash? MAX".
We lost our wings! What about the gunmen? They're still chasing us.
Well, how? (SCOFFS) Their car is fine.
- Well, now we [eff the airport.
- You took off without wings? No, the traffic is much lighter.
Howie, that's crazy! Don't blame me.
That's what he said! Give me the phone! Colt, hi, this is Terri.
Terri, what are you doing to me? This guy you sent to help me out, he's been getting us into one terrible mess after another.
(TIRES SCREECHING) Why don't you be quiet? Now, you just keep your eye on the road.
The last thing we need is an accident.
Now, Terri, you wouldn't believe what I've been going through! - Right off the bat he hits me! - Colt? Rocky! My jaw feels like ground sand.
Then he takes me into a car with a bomb in it, and it blows up! And now, he's driving along on the city streets in an airplane! Talking about a wing and a prayer, we ain't got either one of them! TERRY: What just happened? Colt's having trouble staying in the road.
Would you tell him to be careful, please? Oh, that's a very good suggestion.
Colt, would you be careful? Well, are you planning to come all the way back to LA like that? The way he drives? Terri, this man's a walking disaster area.
Colt, you sound as paranoid as he does.
I can't help it.
He's contagious.
And you give me a ticket? MAX: Colt! That's a lake in front of us! Stay on the road! I'm trying! But he's pushing us right into it! TERRY: Colt, what just happened? Now he wants to try out the plane as a submarine.
A submarine? And it looks like we going that way! COLT: Hang on! MAX: Oh, no! TERRY.
Colt! Max! What happened? Max, swim for the boat! You gotta be out of your mind! I can't believe it.
I lost my wallet, my ID, my credit card, my money, everything! (SCOFFS) Well, I got my wallet.
But it doesn't do us much good, man.
I ain't got no money.
I ain't got no credit card.
It's like we were prisoners.
Well, at least we can make one call.
You better make it good.
Where are you going? Oh, I'll try to hitch us a ride.
(PHONE RINGING) Colt? We were worried sick about you.
Yeah? Well, I still am.
What was all that stuff about the submarine? It didn't work.
The plane sank.
I think the best bet is for you to go to the next big town and grab the first plane home.
That's too dangerous.
Whoever is out to get Max, and now me, are very well-connected.
I mean, they even knew I was coming to get Max.
Well, how could they? Well, the only way would be through the extradition papers.
But they're confidential! Well, that's the point.
I mean, they knew I'd hired a plane.
They were waiting at the field for me.
They even knew I wired ahead for a car, and even had a bomb attached before I took delivery! (HORN HONKING) I don't believe this.
Colt? Colt, what? Colt, what don't you believe? Colt? Colt? Colt, are you there? Hello? Hello, Colt? Colt.
Hey! Hey! Where'd you get that? You wouldn't believe it or I'd tell you! Well, I know that, but tell me, anyway.
Well, first, there's a certain logic in our position.
You stole it.
Stole it? No way! I left your card.
- My card? - That's right.
I even wrote a little note on the back telling them that we would be responsible for anything that happened to it.
We would? My card? Yeah.
Well, let's face facts, buddy.
We can't go to a hotel.
We're broke.
They'd find us.
We can't even camp out.
Why not? - Bugs.
"Bugs? Yeah, bugs! Have you ever been outside in the country at night? The worst! But with this, we can go all the way back to LA, nice and comfy-poo, and nobody would know about it.
- Hello, Colt? "Comfy-poo? It's even got a color TV! Howie, if somebody calls looking for a lost That's lost motor home, it's been found.
I've got it, and I'll return it in a couple of days in perfect condition.
Listen, Colt, stay right there.
You need my help, and I can be down there in a couple of hours.
No, no! No, no, I No, you stay where you are.
I got enough problems.
Hey, a little slower around the bends.
It makes the TV look fuzzy.
- Sorry.
- That's okay.
You meant well.
Is this your normal operation after you hot-wire a car, to go on a joyride? (SCOFFS) If you call this a joyride, I'd hate to see how the rest of your life is spent.
And another thing, stop calling me a thief.
Well, ain't that what you were arrested for? No way! I was resisting arrest.
I work for a car repossession company, and I saw a shooting and the killers came after me and the cops came between us and chased me instead of them.
Oh, and you were just an innocent bystander, right? That's right! A babe in the woods.
And talking about babes in the woods, it's a long way to Los Angeles and granted you're about the best company a man could ask for.
(LAUGHS SARCASTICALLY) A real laugh riot.
However, it would be cosy to have a couple of nice ladies snuggled up back here, huh? They wouldn't be nice ladies if they were snuggled up with you! Well, that's even better.
So why don't you pull up and stop at the next beer joint or cafe or bowling alley.
You're very discriminating.
You bet I am! And they got to wear skirts or slacks and talk enough to say "yes.
" - What happened? - Any bruises show? I've been pounding my head up against the bureaucracy and red tape all day.
Did you find out anything? A little.
Nothing good for our side.
- Who's on the other side? - That's the problem.
Nobody's quite telling me.
Except there's a small group of men who are very strongly-connected.
It seems they've formed these illegal paramilitary groups all over the country to "save democracy" as they see it.
In other words, they kill anybody who doesn't agree with them.
That's right.
And our friend Max has witnessed one of the leaders assassinating a member.
He could unravel the entire organization if he identifies him.
So, they will do anything to stop him, including killing Max and Colt.
That's it! He needs me! I'm going to go help.
Howie, I would go with you, but I don't know where he is.
(SIGHS) - I know how you feel, Howie.
-"They also serve who sit and wait.
" There's another joint! Come on, Let's get some company.
Hey! Come on! Let's stop! No.
Forget it.
Now don't tell me I'm stuck with a (TIRES SCREECHING) PETE ON RADIO: We just made contact.
Hey, I was only kidding.
(HONKING) - Somethingâs wrong with that truck - PETE: Moving 1?? on them right now.
We're being set up.
There's a truck coming up right behind us real fast! And a couple of others that could be with them, too! They've got the whole countryside out against us! - How could they get to them? - Now you see what I mean.
Those guys are connected right to the main juice! PETE".
We're smashing 'them to smithereens, BB! Oh, sounds good, Pete.
You there, Mike? This is Mike.
I'm about to hit them now! I don't know how I'm going to get you out of this mess.
Keeping your mouth closed would be a big step in the right direction.
(HONKING) MIKE: This guy's a sitting duck, Foley.
Listen to this one! (CRASHING) You sure it's the right one? Well, he left his calling card.
Looks like we're gonna prove that honesty don't pay.
I'm glad you left my card.
You wouldn't have used the motor home if I hadn't.
And we wouldn't be in this jam.
You're the stuntman, drive us out of it.
What for? It'd give you more to whine about when you talk to Terri again.
If I talk to her again, you mean.
Well, what if the owner goes to the police? Now, what for? I mean, I already paid him in full for the motor home, just so he wouldn't go to the police! Very good.
We'll reimburse you.
That won't be necessary.
It's my patriotic duty.
And that's one place you ain't never gonna catch me short! Mr Jason will be proud of your contribution.
Do you suppose maybe we could give him a call? Kind of ease his mind? After it's over.
It won't take long.
My boys is just as dedicated as I am.
MAX: And man, don't take any of that jive I was giving to her personally.
You weren't talking about the guy down the street, you know.
I mean, don't you understand? It's got to be perfectly clear that I turned myself in and wanted to report back to Los Angeles.
If anything happens, it's got to be your fault, not mine, or my rear's back in the sling! Hey, slick, you're getting past him! Don't be too sure.
FOLEY ON RADIO: Hello, neker-do-wells.
The trap is set! Cue them up, boys! (HONKING) MAX: Hey, man, you moved right into their trap! How long do you think I'm gonna put up with this stuff? Let's get out of here! What's going on out there? How come that thing's still on the road? PETE".
It won't be for long.
You can depend on it.
Well, more than me's depending on it.
I ain't gonna fail first chance we got to prove what kind of men we are! I'm sick and tired of hitting this floor.
I'll get us out of here! Give me that wheel! Fine! Take it! Are you crazy? Put your hands back! What can I do? That reminds me of a Lancaster picture I once did, almost the same situation.
Well, can you do what you did there? Yeah, but we all ended up dead in the picture.
FOLEY ON RADIO: What's going on? PETE: We're pulverizing him.
COLT: I gotta get that red truck out of the way! That's better.
Now jam it to the floor and let them smell our dust.
Will you do what I tell you? To the floor! It is! It is! - Then why doesn't it go any faster? - That's all it can do.
- What a lemon! - Demand your money back! They're heading right for us! Hey, there's an opening.
Go for it.
What're you trying to do? Hey, I'm just following orders.
MIKE ON RADIO: I'm naming back onto them! All right! I'm with him! I'm out of control! -(CHUCKLES) One down! - For all the good it'll do.
- Why are we stopping? - Regroup.
- Regroup? There's only us.
- Mmm-hmm.
PETE".
Billy's truck is gone.
He's okay, but it's up to the roadblock to stop them now.
Amateurs.
I told you to let me handle it.
Amateurs? We've been training for five years to be ready for the day to make this country safe for democracy.
I mean, real democracy.
Not that lily-livered kind like we got now.
(PHONE BEEPING) Yes, Mr Jason.
Is our little problem solved? No.
But we are well on our way to a final solution.
May I speak to Foley, please? He wants to talk to you.
Mr Jason? Sir, I just wanted to tell you what a real pleasure it is for me to talk to you personal-like, you know? Well, thank you, Foley.
Thank you very much.
Why can't we stop these two men? Well, I am! I've got my best men on it.
And what if they're unsuccessful? Well, then we'll put some more on it.
Many as necessary.
Put all your people on this now! Yes, sir! He's a great man, you know? I'm gonna turn out all my people.
We're gonna nail them guys! No.
Worried about that boyish figure? If anything happens, what a waste that would be.
(CHUCKLES) The wailing that would go on! A tragedy.
You've got a big following, huh? Following? Parade! just like a candy store.
Sweet and delicious.
- Yeah.
- I'll have to show you around when this is over.
If! If, you mean.
Well, don't be a pessimist.
I got us this far.
Yeah? Well what the heck you got planned for us next? We go on! They're probably waiting for us.
Well, we sure ain't going back that way.
Well, it might surprise them.
What do you think we should do? I think you should surrender.
You crazy? They'd kill me! Well, it would solve half of our problem.
But, we'll wait for a last resort.
You think maybe they've given up? Mmm-mmm.
Why not? Well, they're too anxious to see us dead.
Huh.
Well, I think the first thing we should do is get rid of this hearse and get another car.
Can't do that, either.
- Why not? - Because I'm out of cards.
- All right, go ahead and drive.
- Yes, sir! All right! (UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING) You can just relax and leave the driving to me.
You got an expert at the wheel.
We're home free.
Oh, no - What is it? - Well, it looks like an accident.
But all the kids look okay.
- No, it's a set-up.
Get out of here! - You sure? That truck over there was after us before.
- It looks like we got company.
- Keep driving.
PETE ON RADIO: Hey, Foley, Moose is going to take rare of them.
We'll double back and check on Joe.
- What a big man! - Really big! I don't know how I'm gonna get you out of this mess.
You nail the guy in the back since I'm driving.
Yeah, no problem.
(GROANS) - Did you get him? - Yeah, he's gonna be sore for a while.
(CHUCKLES) - We did good, didn't we? - Where do "we" hurt? Well, what is that, a Sherman Tank? PETE".
Hey, Foley, Moose fell off and I'm stopping to pick him up.
- Forget Moose, get that motor home or else! -(STAMMERING) YES, sir.
Boy, it'd be real nice to get a little bit of luck out of this.
Ah! Luck is for amateurs! I don't need any of your mouth! Hey! Hey, hey, we're on the same side for now.
Now, Sid and I will circle around in case they get by your men.
They can't.
We're gonna get them! (CAR HORNS BLARING) MAX: There's that white truck again.
(TIRES SCREECHING) - What are you doing? - I'm leaving.
You can't leave me here alone! (CHUCKLES) That got them.
I told you to leave the driving to an expert.
Pretty good, huh? I was too busy to applaud.
You know, it's unbelievable.
How could anyone kill a nice guy like me? Well, they've tried knives, fire and bullets.
Maybe a stake through the heart would do it.
I don't understand.
Why don't you like me? Mainly, it's your personality.
I finished the stunt and got here as fast as I could.
Did you hear anything from Colt? Not a sound.
Well, I just can't hang around here any longer! You can't just go running off half-cocked.
Listen, Jody, fools rush in where angels fear to tread.
Don't go anywhere.
Man, this thing is a disgrace! We can't ride all the way back to Los Angeles in this! Yeah, well, you're not taking another vehicle.
Colt, I have to tell you.
I'm a little worried.
Just don't panic and run for home again.
What're you talking about? Why else would you run all the way back to Texas? It's only natural to head for home when you're scared.
Look, I called my sister when I left Los Angeles and she told me these nice guys visited and asked about me.
The last thing in the world I wanted was to put her life in danger because of me.
So, lucky me! I ended up with you.
(SCOFFS) Well, you ain't exactly the bargain of the week.
And I resent you hitting me! You got one-up on me.
And I plan on staying that way.
You really think you're a tough guy, don't you? Max, I may have been raised in a different city than you, but the streets were the same.
We should have handled it all the way.
Amateurs! Well, we have the best-trained people in the world helping us now.
Hey! There, up ahead! There's a nice, safe place to stop.
There is no "nice, safe place.
" What are you talking about? They can't see in the dark.
Oh, they can see in the dark, all right.
Well, you've got to be kidding! Look, if they've got the muscle to turn out all that scum, infiltrate a jail, they probably got sophisticated surveillance equipment like infra-red scanners.
Well, maybe they lost us? (SCOFFS) Come on, let's face it, this bunch doesn't give up.
It's to the finish.
Either until we identify them or they kill us.
Colt, I'm getting that strange feeling.
I want to go home.
So do I.
- PILOT ON RADIO: I think I've spotted them.
- Can you see me? Roger.
You're not too far away from them.
- Colt, I'm starving! - Check the fridge.
- Milk and cheese.
I can't eat that stuff.
- Why not? Not an inch of fat.
See? The ladies like that.
I can't improve on perfection.
(HELICOPTER APPROACHING) What's that? It must be those eyes in the night I was telling you about.
PILOT ON RADIO: H's them.
No quest/on about if.
Good work.
You're not too far away from them.
Keep heading in the same direction.
- We'll handle it from here.
- Roger.
- Huh.
It's gone.
- Maybe.
We're only a few minutes away.
Take that lane ahead.
There they are! I'll show you how a pro works.
- Come on.
We're going.
- What for? - It don't feel right.
- It feels fine to me.
I'm staying here.
You want to go conscious or unconscious? Look, we're all right here.
Now, I've got good instincts and I've learnt to trust them.
What do your instincts tell you about this? - That you're gonna bop me.
Mmm-hmm.
- Come on.
Hey! You're very alert.
Look, one more move like that and you're gonna go handcuffed.
- Do you understand me? - You try that and you're gonna find yourself flat on the floor.
Maybe we ought to find out about that right now.
Well, now, you still got time to forget about going and save face.
- Yeah? - Yeah.
Last chance.
Back off! Oh, man, you are lucky! My instincts just changed.
It's time to go.
Good instincts.
SID: I've got it set.
Hey, you've got to be kidding! The two of us on that? (SHUSHING) We got company.
Let's get out of here.
- Well, aren't we gonna ride it out? - No, help me push.
- What you talking about? Push? - Push! Man, you got to be out of your mind.
Where are we going to push this thing, man? (COLT SHUSHING) The motor home? Well, we sure are lucky my instincts changed.
- Well, that's that.
- No.
In a little while.
- What are we waiting for? - I want to wait after the fire dies down.
- That's ghoulish.
- Well, only if there are bodies.
Hey, Colt, slow down, man! This doesn't feel too good.
Why don't you let me take over? Come on! I know how to drive these things! Have a heart, Colt.
Please, man, we've been riding all night, Colt! Have a little mercy on me.
My back is killing me.
Hey, Colt, how much longer we gonna keep this up? Oh, all the way to LA, if we're lucky.
Oh, man, you're a sadist! Hey! I saw that! You hit that bump on purpose.
Now, that's petty.
We're gonna have to get off the road.
Go across country.
-(ON RADIO) This is shopper Olympus.
- CALVIN: Go ahead, Olympus.
You say those guys are on a motorcycle? We saw tracks.
There'd be two men riding on it.
Well, then I've got them.
Two men on a motorcycle.
They've just turned off the main road and they're heading cross-country.
You think that's Big Brother keeping an eye on us? What's our position to them? You're almost parallel.
If you keep going in the same direction and swing left at the first dirt road, you've got a good chance to cut them off.
Thanks.
You better pull back again so they don't make you.
Roger.
COLT: How're you doing back there? Awful! Hey, look! The chopper is gone, man! - Let's get back on the main road.
- No! It could be dangerous.
CALVIN: There they are! How do you keep doing it? Getting into mess after mess after mess? We're not gaining on them.
It's a standoff.
The cycle's too fast.
- What's wrong? What's wrong? - Almost out of gas.
Oh, man! You are unreal.
First you get me out here in the middle of nowhere and then you run out of gas! You ever make a transfer? What's a transfer? When we get next to that train, we transfer from the bike to the train.
You got to be kidding! Get me next to it! - Okay, go for it! - I ain't going nowhere! Well, then you're gonna be sitting here by yourself.
I'll transfer! I'll transfer! (GUNFIRE) (GUNFIRE) (GUNFIRE) Let them go! - You haven't got a gun? - No! What kind of bounty hunter are you, putting my life in jeopardy? - You haven't got a gun? - No! But get in! - What for? - Get in! - Hold on! - That's all I do with you! - Hold on! - To what? Oh, no! Not again! COLT: You can open your eyes now.
What's wrong? My plan worked.
We got them! Yeah.
Well, I still haven't gotten rid of you! You know, I think I'd make a hell of a stuntman.
I think we could be a team, don't you think? (MAX CLEARS THROAT) TERRI Hi! JODY: Hello! HOWIE: What happened to jail? There was a mad race between Calvin and Sid to see who would turn state's evidence first.
I nearly didn't make it here in time for the celebration.
Oh, really? Why not? - I am a hero.
- And humble.
Well, it's hard to be humble and truthful.
At the press conference I had to tell them how I did it.
Yeah.
They say Max is responsible for the entire underground operation crumbling.
Well, that's great! Let's start the celebration.
For the all-American hero.
- Milk? - It's good for you.
It'll help you with your parade.
- They're going to throw a parade for him? - Yeah! Go ahead.
Trust me.
Trust you? After what you did to me? You wouldn't believe what this man put me through.
One mess after another.
Well, I was telling them at the press conference