The Weekenders (2000) s02e22 Episode Script

Help!
It's a shopping crisis!
Tino, here.
So, we gotta find a birthday
present for our friend Marie.
We have, like, no idea what to get her.
How about this, jar full of guts?
No!
Marie's a friend of ours
we've known since, like, forever.
She has a bowling party for her birthday
every year, and we always go.
It should be pretty cool.
Rubber ball?
No!
Dude, Marie is a girly girl.
Forget the gross out stuff and think, like,
unicorn stationary and butterfly clips.
That is gross out stuff.
Come on, guys.
We gotta get Marie
something good this year.
You know what would really help us think?
I'm guessing you're gonna
say chili cheese fries?
Your psychic powers astound me.
Guys, popular alert.
It's Pru.
She's walking right towards us.
Pru's the most popular girl in school,
Carver.
Pretty safe bet she's
walking right past us.
Hi, Carver.
Hi, Lor.
Hi, Tino.
Hi, Tish.
Ooh, can I have a fry?
Thanks.
Popular girl knows my name.
Okay, hold on to your boring loser lives.
I've decided that
from now on,
I, a popular kid, am
gonna hang, with you guys.
Wait, I've had this dream before.
Now comes a part where the
giant monkey eats my face.
You are gonna hang with us?
What about your popular friends?
I cannot imagine to whom you refer~
Those guys, right over there.
Tadashi, Hunter, and.. Tessa?
The names don't sound familiar.
Unless they're the three
backstabbing ex-friends
who didn't get me a
present for Flag Day.
Who gives presents for Flag Day?
Hey, do you want to hang with me,
or do you want to mouth off?!
Uh, one moment.
Sidebar.
So, what do you think?
Forget it.
She's super mean!
What are you, nuts?
One of the popular kids
wants to be our friend.
We're in!
But she's totally just using us to make
her friends jealous.
Who cares?
We're using her to become popular.
Right.
We put up with her being nasty
just so we can be popular.
It's a textbook example of symbiosis,
like the Remora.
Remoras are a fish that attach themselves
to sharks using their big sucker mouths.
The largest ones are called "shark suckers."
Are we the sharks or the suckers?
Guys, it doesn't matter.
I've wanted to be popular my whole life.
Now it's so close I can taste it.
You can't take that away from me!
Alright, we'll hang with Pru.
I still think this is a mistake.
Being popular can't be that great.
Now you're talking crazy.
Okay, Pru.
We'll hang with ya.
Well, duh.
Of course you will.
Man, I can't believe I'm gonna be stuck
with losers like
You guys are my best friends
till the end of the world!
Ahahahahahahaha !
Okay, who's gonna get me some more fries?
Come on people, get a move on!
You are about to enter a brave new world.
Hold out your hands.
Is this a blood pact?
My doctor says I'm supposed to avoid
unnecessary bleeding.
Just hold out your hands, skeezoid.
By the power vested in me, I declare that
these four worthless losers are popular.
It's funny.
I don't feel any different.
Am I glowing?
I told you being popular
couldn't be that great.
Now come on, we're gonna see a movie.
Massive Force?
We already saw it.
Yeah, and it stunk.
But this is a screening of the special
popular kids version.
Oh my gosh, it was the best movie ever!
Way more exciting and way funnier
and way better special effects!
Wonder if my Mom'll let me get
a Massive Force tattoo?
So the popular kids
get to see better movies.
Be deal.
I can never find jackets that fit right.
Try this on.
It's from the special popular kids rack.
Trust me.
I've tried these things on over and over
Oh my gosh, it's like it was made for me!
See, popular clothes fit better.
Better movies, better clothes.
Big deal.
Man, I could never afford this!
You can with the 75% popular discount.
Clothes. At. Discount.
I have tasted Heaven's nectar
and found it sweet.
No doubt about it!
Popular kids' chili cheese
fries have more zing!
And possibly more zip, too.
My diet soda.
It can't be.
It's true!
It has, no funny aftertaste.. !
Of course.
Popular reserve.
Better movies, better clothes,
no funny aftertaste.
Big deal.
Come on.
You guys haven't seen the absolute best
thing about being popular.
The Lounge~
It's.. so beautiful!
Oh my gosh.
Is that a real waterfall?
Ooh, an ice cream sundae bar.
Wow.
How'd they fit a whole
tennis court in there?
You guys are my best friends
till the end of the world!
Ahahahahahaha!
That'll show those
non-Flag Day present getters!
Man. Would you guys
take a shower or something?
You all have that icky, unpopular smell.
Like overcooked asparagus.
I don't think we
smell like
Okay.
Stop doing that thing.
What thing?
That thing where your mouth moves and
sound comes out?
I cannot believe how
great it is to be popular!
That lounge was amazing!
I especially like the circus act.
And the full-size swimming pool.
And the All You Can Eat buffet.
I never want to go back to the real world.
Never.
Okay.
I've got a little treat tomorrow for you
losers.
A clam bake at the beach.
Popular-style.
Meet me at noon tomorrow,
at the Snack Shack.
Be late and I'll have you hunted
down like a pack of wild dogs!
Alright, a clam bake!
I can't believe we're going to a real
popular-style clam bake.
What's a clam bake?
Not a clue.
It is a seaside picnic at which
clams and other seafood are
baked traditionally on hot stones
under a covering of seaweed.
Okay.
Eww?
Who cares?
We're going to a popular party.
We have arrived!
Oh, man.
What about Marie's party?
Marie, who?
You know who I mean.
Guys, we have to
decide between Marie,
one of our oldest
friends, and Pru.
A total pain in the rump who just happens
to be popular.
So, me and the guys are going to a popular
kid's party tomorrow.
I thought you were going to Marie's
bowling party.
No.
We're going to hang
with our new friend, Pru.
What is this?
It's edamame.
Boiled soybeans?
What?
What's so bad about beans?
You like beans.
Go on.
You just squeeze them out.
So, tell me about this Pru.
Is she nice?
She's mean as a scorpion.
Oh, that's attractive.
But, she's popular!
Man, you wouldn't believe
all the stuff popular kids get.
I know.
I was popular for a couple
of months in high school.
Diet soda.. with no aftertaste.
Mm.
But if you don't like Pru, aren't you
just taking advantage of her to be popular?
Oh, sure.
But she's using us
to make her friends jealous.
We put up with her being awful and nasty,
and in return, we get to be popular.
Tish says Pru is the shark, and we're the
suckers.
Er.. or, something.
Honey, you can't pretend to be friends
with someone you don't like.
Sooner or later, it's
gonna blow up in your face.
And what about Marie?
Don't you think she
deserves to be treated better?
There you go, making sense again.
Why can't you be one of
those moms who just says,
"That's nice, dear" and leaves it at that?
That's nice, dear.
It's a little late for that now,
don't you think?
That's nice, dear.
Okay, now it's just annoying.
That's ni --
No talkie!
This is going to be great.
I bet there'll be lots of diet soda.
I can already taste the no aftertaste, taste
Guys, I've been thinking about it,
and we have to ditch Pru.
The evil one has come!
Seriously, don't you feel bad for Marie?
Her party should be starting right about
now.
I bet she won't even
notice we're not there.
Come on.
You know we're totally
letting Marie down, and for what?
For absolute perfect happiness.
Except it's not perfect, because
we have to put up with Pru.
Yeah, if she tells me I smell like asparagus
one more time, I'm gonna lose it.
Tino is right.
This Faustian bargain cannot continue..!
Oh no.
Oh no, no.
You are not gonna do this to me!
I have realized my life's dream at last!
Carv'. Think about Marie.
Remember when she loaned you her bike,
or when she gave you that tip
about that designer shoe outlet?
Or when she
I'm onto your game, Mister.
You're appealing to my conscience.
Well, I don't have one.
So what if we let Marie down?
I don't care.
It's a dog-eat-dog world!
Too bad, so sad, tough cookies!
We are not gonna ditch Pru!
No, no, no, no, no!
So! Are you losers
ready for
We're ditching you and
going to Marie's party.
You're ditching me?!
But y-you can't!
It doesn't!
I !
You'll never be popular
in this town, again!
Tadashi, Hunter, Tessa?
You guys are my best friends
till the end of the world!
Ahahahahahahaha!
What have I done?
Just a good thing.
Uh-huh.
If you ever notice I'm gonna
do a good thing again,
I want you to beat me unconscious.
You got it!
Come on, guys.
Let's bowl.
Okay, who got mustard on me?
Marie!
We're sorry, we're late.
And we're sorry we
didn't bring any presents.
And we're really sorry we can
never go back to the popular lounge.
Don't worry.
I saw you hanging with Pru.
I went through the same
thing with her once when
her friends didn't get
her present for Arbor Day.
How about that diet soda, huh?
Don't rub it in.
Come on, let's go get some cake.
You know, there's nothing better than
someone using you like a doormat to
convince you not to use people like
doormats.
If being popular means hanging with people
like Pru, I don't want any part of it.
Alright, maybe I want the no funny
aftertaste part, but that's about it.
Okay, later days.