Big Nate (2022) s02e23 Episode Script

[gentle music]
[dogs barking]
- This is my dad,
Martin Wright.
- [yips happily]
Once upon a time,
he was the saddest,
most unfulfilled dad I knew.
All that changed
when the mystery boxes
started arriving.
Didn't matter what was inside.
The box filled a need
- [howls]
[all howl]
A hole in my dad.
Finally, he was happy,
a new man, upbeat, confident,
cool even.
Maybe not cool.
Let's not get carried away.
- [laughs]
[dogs barking]
Nate, my beautiful boy,
look, another mystery box.
Isn't it wonderful?
- Yeah, sure is, Dad.
Have fun.
- [grunts]
[chuckles]
- Ellen's out babysitting
till late,
and Dad's got his mystery box,
which means an evening
of sweet, sweet Nate time.
[upbeat rock music]
Butt cheeks do-da-da-doo-- ♪
[growls]
Butt cheeks ♪
- [grunts]
- Hey, come on.
I was watching/listening/--
- Shh!
Is she out there?
Is she still out there?
- Who?
- I don't know her name.
I don't know who she is.
I just know she's following me!
Look!
[thunder booms]
- Mm!
[menacing music]
Yeah, okay.
There's nobody there.
[wind whistles]
[dramatic musical sting]
Is that her?
- Uh.
[dramatic music]
Aah!
[gasps]
- Hmm.
Well, that's a little weird.
[upbeat music]
- Don't want to go
to school today ♪
The sun is red hot
and I wanna play ♪
But if I get caught
they'll make me pay ♪
Detention again ♪
- Big Nate, Big Nate ♪
- Math and social studies
just ain't my thing ♪
- Big Nate, Big Nate ♪
- Rocking with my band
is where I'm king ♪
Stealing the teacher's teeth
or bailing on a test ♪
- Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh,
ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh ♪
Big Nate ♪
[loud clang]
[loud crash]
- Ellen, what's goin' on?
- I went to my regular
babysitting job,
and when I got to the house,
she was there.
She stole the job right out
from under me.
- Wait, wait, wait,
you just let her run you off?
- She's terrifying,
said I can't babysit
in Rackleff anymore.
The whole town is off-limits.
- No, that can't be right.
- I only babysit to pay
for Dad's mystery boxes.
And without that money,
his subscription
is gonna run out,
like, immediately.
- Wait, what? No!
His subscription can't stop.
He'll go back to being old,
sad Martin.
I don't want old, sad Martin.
I like happy and fulfilled
Mystery Box Martin,
like when he got that box
of hunky carnival cutouts
from Cut It Out
Cut Carnival Cutouts.
- [straining]
[chuckles]
- Hey, sailor, need a place
to drop that anchor?
- Ooh.
- And then there was
the box containing
the British prime minister.
- I was just asking
the prime minister here about
the gross national product.
I mean, what's so gross
about it?
Huh?
Huh?
[laughter]
- So you guys see the problem,
no babysitting money,
no more mystery boxes, ergo,
no more new and improved Dad.
- What?
[tires screeching]
But your lame dad has become
the neighborhood fun dad.
- Yeah, he lets us
eat whatever we want,
zero adult supervision.
That's great parenting.
- And don't forget
all the great stuff
that came in the boxes,
like Dim Sum Pizza Bagel
Delivery Robot.
- Cheng-sek gei-goh deem sum
pizza bagel.
- So warm.
- No more neighborhood fun dad.
- Where will we go?
What will we do?
- Noh dei sei-lah!
- Well, we've got
to do something.
- Like what?
- We need to get eyes
on this babysitter.
[mysterious playful music]
♪
- [giggles, squeals]
- Hmm.
♪
[water bubbling]
[doorbell chimes]
- [gasps]
[[camera shutter clicks]
- Huh?
Hmm.
- Okay, I saw her at 7:03 p.m.
babysitting for the McCreedys.
- We saw her at the Garcias'
at the exact same time.
- And I clocked her
at 7:00 p.m.
just arriving at the Guptas'.
- How can she be at three
places at the same time?
- Obviously,
she's a time witch.
My uncle Pedro caught two
of them last year.
[gasps]
Or was it next year?
- Well, she's still
a teenage girl,
which means she just
might be susceptible
to a Nate Wright charm bomb.
[laughs]
- Ow!
- [chuckles]
Hey there, uh, beautiful.
[dog barks]
- Uh, I just wanna ask you
a favor.
- [whistles]
[children giggle]
- All right,
let's get down to business.
So I was thinking, if you could
just let my sister, Ellen, have
a few of
her old babysitting gigs?
- [whines]
- No.
- Look, uh, ha ha.
I didn't wanna have to go here,
but, uh, I can make
your life difficult.
[cackles] I know people.
- Oh, you know people, do you?
Oh, that's rich.
Let me tell you something,
Little Nate,
We own this town.
- We?
[dramatic music]
- Yes.
[together] We.
[all laughing deviously]
- Uh
- Ah, triplets.
Man, I was so close.
- We gotta find out more.
Let's ask the people
they babysit for.
[knock at door]
Hi there, Mrs. Gao.
Uh, we're looking
for info about
some babysitting triplets.
Uh, have you ever--
The babysitting triplets?
Triplets.
Trip--lets!
[mysterious music]
- Clearly, no one is talking.
- Hey, Mr. Rosa's
got a ton of kids.
He'll know something,
and he'll talk.
- Hello.
[all laugh nervously]
I don't know anything
about any triplets.
- Whoa, whoa, whoa, uh, ha.
Let's be reasonable,
or, uh [clears throat]
Might become public knowledge
that a certain art teacher
at PS38
has been eating the crayons!
- I like to taste the colors.
[groans]
Okay, Nate, you win.
I'll tell you what I know,
but you did not hear
this from me.
[quietly] All three
of them showed up
when my oldest was just a baby.
I didn't even
want a babysitter.
But they made me an offer
I couldn't refuse.
- It's really important
that you have a babysitter.
I mean, those swing sets
sure can be really dangerous.
- Be terrible
if something happened.
But accidents, they occur.
- Unless we are
your babysitters.
- Your only babysitters.
- [whines]
- I had to agree.
I just had to.
Were you followed?
They don't know
you're here, do they?
- Where do they live, Mr. Rosa?
Is there anything
you can tell us?
- They run their business
out of a little shed
up in the woods,
but I said too much already.
You have to leave now,
right now!
[both yelp]
[dogs barking]
- Huh?
[howls]
[car horn honks]
[cheerful music]
[melancholic music]
[blubbers, wails]
- Nate, you gotta hurry.
The subscription has run out,
no more mystery boxes.
Papa Bear is spiraling.
Repeat, Papa Bear is spiraling.
- Copy that, sis.
We have to see just what
these triplets are up to.
[adventurous music]
[owl squawks]
♪
- [screams]
- We need to get inside
that shed,
scope out
this babysitting cartel,
see just how
the sausage gets made.
- They makes sausage?
What?
- We need to get those triplets
away from that shed.
And I have a plan.
[bittersweet music]
- [sighs]
[gasps] A mystery box.
[whimpers]
[gasps] A mystery box.
[sighs]
[whines]
- Oh, I say,
this rather reminds me
of that time
in parliament when I--
- Zip it, Mr. Prime Minister.
- Jolly good.
- Okay, I've come up
with one of my amazing plans.
And here it is.
One, I set up three separate
babysitting emergencies
to lure the triplets away
from their shed.
Then using the newly built
quadruplex on Maple Street,
I'll masquerade as the parent
in three different disguises.
Chad, of course, will play
the part of the baby.
- Ooh! Yay!
[laughs]
- Two, Dee Dee and Francis
will infiltrate the shed
to copy important information.
- [screams]
[chitters]
- Be careful.
The triplets are gonna have
set up deadly booby traps.
But it's nothing
you two can't handle.
[chuckles]
[both grunting]
- And the third thing,
what do I do?
- You need to keep my dad
from completely losing it.
Make boxes, lots and lots
of mystery boxes.
[upbeat music]
[light accordion music]
[toy squeaks]
Meanwhile, Chad and I
will be doing our best
to keep the triplets
distracted.
- Oh!
- Play our cards right,
it should give you guys
just enough time
to get into that shed
and find whatever it is
they're hiding.
[eerie music]
♪
[both gasp]
[together] Hmm.
- [laughs delightedly]
Boxes!
Hey! Aww.
Gimme, gimme, gimme.
[pants furiously]
- Whoa. Do you think they work
for every family in Rackleff?
- I don't know, maybe.
[gasps]
Francis, I found something.
- We need to make a copy.
[both grunting]
[adventurous music]
♪
- Bleh. Hmm.
- Hmm?
- [laughs sheepishly]
- I don't know what
you think you're doing.
- Uh, you know,
ha ha, just trying
to raise this little scamp
the best way I know how.
- I am a handful.
- Wait, if we're all here,
no one's at the shed.
- Oh, no.
[copier beeps]
both: Yeah.
- Francis, Francis!
Code Red! Code Red!
The triplets are
on their way back!
- I'm out of boxes
for your dad.
- Francis, Dee Dee,
get out of there, now!
- But we found
something important!
[copier beeps rapidly]
both: Aah!
- We're making a copy,
but the copier keeps jamming.
[suspenseful music]
[both groan]
- Just use your phone.
- It does that?
- Oh, yeah.
♪
- Hmm.
[together] Hmm.
- [whimpers nervously]
[together] Hmm.
- Done.
[both grunting]
- Aah! Aah!
- [sniffs] There's been
a warm copier in here.
both: Aah!
- Wow, this list is amazing.
The triplets have the names
and addresses of every family
in Rackleff with young kids.
- Oh, it's bigger than that.
They've got pregnant couples,
couples from matchmaking apps,
records of engagement rings
being sold.
- Right down
to who gave whom a valentine.
- They've even got a section
on middle-school crushes.
Look, here's a page
on Jenny and Artur.
- Okay, I'll just, uh--
I'll keep that,
you know, for, uh
[clears throat] Uh, research.
- The triplets have a complete
monopoly on babysitting.
- Hmm, not quite.
Looks like there's one baby
they want no part of.
"Beware the Unsittable One.
"He will destroy us.
Remember Loretta."
We need to find this Loretta.
Okay, we've gone through
every Loretta
in the phone book.
According to my calculations,
the last one should be
around here somewhere.
- Hey, Loretta!
Get out there
and get our meatballs
in people's mouths, huh?
- Meatball? Meatball?
Me-meatball?
[timidly] Meatball?
Meatball?
- That's her. That's Loretta.
- [gasps]
I knew it, a fourth triplet.
- Wait, so she was part
of the babysitting ring,
but now she's
a free sample meatball girl?
- Meatball?
- What happened?
- Meatball?
- Hey, uh, Loretta?
Uh, can you tell us
about the, um
[clears throat] Unsittable One?
- Unsittable One, unsittable,
unsittable, unsittable.
218, Bentwater Drive
[evil laughter]
Stay away. Stay--
Bentwater Drive. No!
[screams]
- 218 Bentwater?
That's my address.
- Which means--
- [gasps]
The Unsittable One is
my little brother, Humberto.
- Are you sure
about this, Nate?
All this just
for some babysitting money?
- Oh, it's gone beyond
babysitting money.
Dad is a complete mess.
I mean, just look at him.
- The box is empty. I am empty.
The box and I are the same.
The box and I are one.
I am the box.
- Those triplets
are going down.
- We've got the security
shutters from my house
installed on all
your windows and doors.
- All right!
- To activate them,
pull this lever.
[spirited music]
- But remember,
you have to close the shutters
from the inside.
You'll have five seconds
to make it out
before you're locked in here.
- Ah. Plenty of time.
Now all we need is
our secret weapon.
[banging on door]
Huh?
[all gasp]
- Speak of the devil.
- Literally.
- [coos]
- I give you
my little brother, Humberto.
- This is him?
But he looks so cute
and so innocent.
Aww.
- Do not let him fool you.
- [babbles happily]
- The Unsittable One.
Now, to bait the trap.
[clears throat]
Uh, greetings, triplets.
Nate Wright calling.
- We know.
- All right, look, I got a copy
of your list,
and I'm willing
to trade it for peace.
Let's just end all of this.
- Why would you do that?
- Well, because you were right
when you said
you own this town.
I just want out,
out of the whole thing.
- Okay, when? Where?
- My house, ten minutes.
- It's a trap.
- Obviously.
But we're not about
to pass up the chance
to take down Little Nate.
- In his own home.
[all cackle]
[mysterious music]
♪
- Overwatch to Exorcist,
you have inbound.
- Copy.
The triplets have landed.
[approaching footsteps]
[tense music]
♪
Hello, triplets.
Here to, uh, close our deal?
- Ha ha, no.
- We're here to close you.
- Any last words, Little Nate?
[all snicker]
- Just these.
[grunts]
Say hello to my little fiend.
[laughs]
[together]
It's the Unsittable One!
[dramatic music]
- [laughs evilly]
- [gasps]
[screams]
[The Unsittable One cackles]
- Please, no, please, no!
[thunderous crash]
[serene music]
♪
- Aah!
[whimpers]
♪
[alarm blaring]
[glass shatters]
- [screams in slo-mo]
- [in slo-mo] Aah!
- [in slo-mo] Come on, Nate.
You can do it.
- [screams]
[grunts]
[gasps]
[panting nervously]
Guys, no, no, no!
Wait, not like this,
not like this!
- Oh, no.
Nate didn't make it out.
- Oh, he is so de-lifed.
[tense music]
- Aah! Gulp.
Uh, tr-triplets?
Humberto?
- Demon toddler,
walking terror ♪
His mama,
he wouldn't spare her ♪
Change my diaper,
we'll have fun ♪
Lay a hand
and lose a thumb ♪
Unsittable, Unsittable ♪
Non potes currere
et non abscondere ♪
Unsittable, Unsittable ♪
Sacrificium es,
optime succumbere ♪
His craving, rabid ♪
Favorite entrée,
lehce materna ♪
Muy picante ♪
Enfant terrible,
dybbuk spawn ♪
His thoughts corrupted ♪
Far begone ♪
- Spinning gold.
Spinning gold into dross.
My gain, your loss.
Your loss!
- Unsittable, Unsittable ♪
Daemonium in minima puero ♪
- Aah!
- Unsittable, Unsittable ♪
Clamamus?
Ridet cum gaudio ♪
- [screams, gasps]
- Here's Humberto!
[laughs maniacally]
- Aah!
- [groans weakly]
- Have a nice tripsy.
See you next fallsy.
[cackles]
- [yelps]
- [vocalizing hauntingly]
- Whoo-ooh, whoo-ooh ♪
- Aah!
[grunts]
- [giggles creepily]
Said the spider to the fly,
"Why does it cry?
Why does it cry?"
- [grunts] How many of these
stupid boxes did Teddy make?
[suspenseful music]
- Ooh, look.
Last Nate standing.
- Hang on, Humberto.
It's me.
I'm your brother's best friend.
- [laughs deviously]
[distorted] Not for long.
- [gulps]
- [shrieking]
- [yelps, pants]
[upbeat rock music]
- [cackling]
[snarls]
♪
Nate!
- [gasping]
- Nate!
[walkie-talkie beeps]
- Nate, are you okay?
- No. Listen, guys.
I got a bad feeling
about this one.
I don't think
I'm gonna make it out.
- Nate, don't say that.
Don't you ever say that!
But if you don't, can I make
your room my hot yoga spa?
- Did Humberto do that thing
with the packing tape
across the doorway?
- Yeah, that's exactly
what he did.
- Oh! I hate that one.
He calls it spider's kiss.
[shudders]
Sorry, Nate,
I think you're toast.
- Oh, come on!
There must be something
that'll calm him down.
- Oh, yeah, only his woobie.
- Oh, yeah, of course,
the woobie.
I should have guessed--
well, what's a woobie?
- Ah, it's just
some creepy doll.
Puts him right to sleep,
but it's--
[gasps]
- It's what? What?
- Nate, Nate, the woobie.
It's inside your house.
I put it in one of your dad's
fake mystery boxes.
Find it.
Find the woobie, Nate,
and you might stand a chance!
[dramatic music]
- Teddy, there's, like,
1,000 boxes in here.
Why would you put
the one thing
that stops the demon baby
in a mystery box?
- Uh, dramatic tension?
- [laughs creepily]
- Oh, it's too late!
He found me.
- [laughs]
♪
[groaning maniacally]
[cackling]
- Uh-oh. Aah!
Come on. Come on.
[frenetic rock music]
♪
Aah!
- [bellows]
[laughs]
- No, no, no.
Wait, Humberto.
Let's talk about this.
[groans]
- Behold, I am the mystery
of the box.
Look on my works,
ye mighty, and despair.
- [gasps] The woobie!
- Oh. Hi, Nate.
What's with the giant baby?
- [growls]
- Dad, throw me that woobie!
[dramatic music]
[fan clicks]
Whoa!
[screaming]
♪
- Woobie.
[snores]
- Whew.
- Woobie.
[baby laughs]
[serene music]
♪
- Oh, this quite reminds me
of when I had to spend time
with the lower classes.
[screams]
- Uh, I'm done
with the mystery boxes.
The quality control
just isn't there anymore.
- Hey, I work with what I had.
- [groans woozily]
- Well, quadruplets,
it's been nice knowing ya.
- Meatball?
Meatball? Meatball?
- You'll pay for messing
with the family.
[dramatic music]
See you soon, Little Nate.
- I knew it,
fifth triplet surprise,
classic twist.
- Yeah, we should have figured.
Okay, gang,
one last thing to do.
[laughs] Mission accomplished,
Big Nate style.
all: Yeah.
[adventurous music]
- Um, Nate,
can we unfreeze now?
It's starting
to get a little warm.
[together] Nate?
[all scream]
- Demon toddler,
walking terror ♪
His mama,
he wouldn't spare her ♪
Change my diaper,
we'll have fun ♪
Lay a hand
and lose a thumb ♪
Unsittable, Unsittable ♪
Non potes currere
et non abscondere ♪
Unsittable, Unsittable ♪
Sacrificium es,
optime succumbere ♪
[vocalizing]
[rock music]
♪