Dharma & Greg s02e23 Episode Script

'Have the scungii.
- Excellent choice.
- Thank you.
- One question: What is it? - We, it's a No, no Okay, don't te me.
I wanna be surprised.
How can you order something without knowing? How can you order the same thing every time we go out? I do not.
He' have penne marinara, half a caesar salad, dressing on the side and bruschetta to start.
No, 'd ike the specia.
Don't te me what it is.
- Very good.
- T's not fish, is it? - No, sir.
- Or fried or spicy? - Would you like me to tell you what it is? - No, 'm sure it's good.
Tell me what it is.
He' have the penne.
- I would have eaten it.
- ' Te the chef, sir.
He' be thried.
Listen, something came up today that we need to talk about.
What's up? I got a case that will require me to go to Washington for a week.
Oh, cool.
Good for you, honey.
We, 'd have to eave the day after tomorrow.
- But if you don't want me to go - Do you wanna go? - No, of course don't wanna go.
- Then don't go.
No, l I wanna go.
Then go.
What meant was don't wanna be gone that ong uness it's okay with you.
Honey, it's totay okay.
Good.
You know, we haven't spent a night apart since we got married.
What about when you fell asleep at your ex-girfriend's house? Bring us a bottle of wine.
Doesn't matter what it is.
Any '94 cabernet.
California, but not Sonoma.
You pick.
Jeez, wonder what we' get.
- Greg, wake up.
- What? - Greg, wake up.
- What? Greg, I just had a really, really bad dream.
- You cannot go on your trip.
- But you just said that I could.
- That was before all the facts were in.
- What facts? I just told you, I had a dream.
'M sorry you had a bad dream but that's no reason for me not to go to Washington.
But, Greg, it was a terrible dream.
I mean, the plane dropped out of the sky, it was in flames.
So was the dessert you had last night.
I know the difference between dessert and an airplane.
It was a plane.
All right, it had a mustache and hair under its wings but it was a plane and you were in it and it crashed.
Can't change my pans based on a dream.
Didn't you ask me if it was okay with me if you went? - Yeah.
- What woud you have done if 'd said no? We would have talked about it.
- Until I said yes? - Yeah.
No.
Why don't just take a different fight? - You already bought a ticket? - Yeah.
No.
Yeah.
Dharma, can't you be reasonabe? Of course I can be reasonable.
We' ca Abby.
' Have her throw your tarot cards.
And then, if everything checks out, then you can go.
What if I say no? We, then we' tak about it until you say yes.
Fair enough.
Mr.
Montgomery, Mr.
Clayborn on line 2 from Washington.
Can I call him back? 'M in an important meeting.
'M having troube getting a clear reading.
Greg, would you mind holding this crystal to your forehead? - Yes, I would mind.
- Greg.
Can we just move this along? Deal a card.
Hit me.
- Death.
- Hit me again.
Don't worry, don't worry, death doesn't aways mean death.
Sometimes it does.
Well, sometimes it just means a change is coming.
- Like dying.
That's a change.
- So is a haircut.
Didn't dream you woud die in a fiery haircut.
Mr.
Montgomery, the office staff wants to know if you're bogarting anything in there.
T's just incense, Marene.
Abby, forget about the cards.
Tell Greg how accurate my dreams are.
Oh, they're very accurate.
- T's eerie.
- Yeah, tell him about your Uncle Mike.
She dreamed he was gonna die, and two weeks later, he did.
- That's terribe.
- Actually, it was a relief.
He'd been very, very sick.
Okay, Abby, look.
Would you agree there are other interpretations to Dharma's dream besides my plane crashing? The plane crash can symbolize all kinds of things.
- Like Dharma just doesn't want me to go.
- We, that's one possibiity.
- Thank you, Abby.
- Or Dharma's not being satisfied in bed.
- What? - Well, think of it, Greg.
I mean, the airplane thrusts upward and then falls impotently to the ground.
Okay, my point is it could be a lot of things.
Like a plane crash.
No, no, you know, don't think so.
You know, let me throw the cards again.
Greg, this time, hold the crystal over your penis.
Dharma.
- There are no towels in here.
- There aren't? - No.
- Oh, that's weird, huh? No towes.
- Dharma, I have a plane to catch.
- Oh, that's today.
Right.
You know what? Here.
Why don't you use some of these and ' see what ese can find.
Dharma.
But there's ony one Keenex in here.
- 'M sorry, 'm ooking for more.
- No, find me a towel.
I can only do one thing at a time, honey.
This is ridiculous.
- Found one.
- Thank you.
Oh, jeez, this smells like the dogs.
Well, honey, it is their towel.
Know what you're doing, and it's not gonna work.
Where are my suits? Dry cleaner.
- All of them? - Well, we had coupons.
Okay.
'm just gonna go to the office and get the suit that I keep there.
- You keep a suit at the office? - Yes.
You have secret clothes that don't know about? Whoa, honey, you need to sit down and we need to talk about this.
Dharma, I have to go.
' Buy socks and underwear in Washington.
' Ca you when get there.
Oh, bad news, honey.
Your car won't start.
- And why might that be? - Not sure.
This came off.
Why don't just ca a cab? Our phone's out of order.
Oh, yeah, I know.
I wrote them a letter about that already.
You forgot this, didn't you? - Dharma, stop it.
No.
- No, don't want you to go.
- This is ridiculous.
- Okay, okay.
You're right.
'm acting totay crazy.
Honey, listen, understand you're upset.
That's ony because we've never spent a night apart.
Except for the night you fell asleep at your ex-girfriend's house.
A 'm saying is you're upset that 'm going away and that's why you had the bad dream.
Boy, reay don't think so.
Can't imagine what it's gonna be ike to be away from you.
Like the night you fell asleep at your ex-girfriend's but repeated seven times.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Now, I promise that I will call you the minute the plane lands in Washington.
- Promise? - As soon as we hit the ground smoothly on the wheels.
- All right.
- Thank you.
- I love you.
- I love you.
- Have a good trip.
- ' See you next week.
Yeah.
Bye.
Trying to bring back that Miami Vice, no-socks look? Yeah.
Dharma hid my socks.
I got an extra pair.
- In your carryon? - In my pants.
You want them? 'Ve never wanted anything ess in my life.
- So why'd she hide your socks? - She reay didn't want me to go.
Jane drove me to the airport.
- That was nice.
- Yesterday.
Yeah, Dharma had this silly dream the plane was gonna crash and she kind of overreacted.
Wait a minute.
- The plane is gonna crash? - No.
Pete.
- The pane's not gonna crash.
- What are you, insane? - We're taking about Dharma here.
- Pete.
This is a person that knows when people are gonna die.
- Nothing's gonna happen.
- Hey, hey.
T's a right, 'm with the Justice Department.
- ' Take care of it.
' - Oh, man.
Oh, my God.
Mean, 'm a young man.
'Ve got so much never got to do.
Pete, you're not gonna die.
I am so scared right now.
- Hold me, Greg.
- 'M not gonna hod you.
A right, ' hod you.
' See you on the other side, buddy.
Ring.
Ring.
Hello, hello, hello, hello? - Thank God you're okay.
- 'M fine.
- Oh, God, I was so scared.
- Flight was perfect.
- No turbulence, nothing? - Not a bump.
- And 've never fet better.
- How do you know you're not in heaven? Because Pete's with me.
' Ca you from the hote.
- / love you.
- I love you too.
Okay, we can all go to sleep now.
Daddy didn't crash on a mountain and have to eat his buddy Pete.
Stinky, Nunzio, come on up.
Come on.
He's not here.
You can come up.
T' be our itte secret.
Come on.
Up you go.
Okay.
Come on, you can ay on Greg's side.
Come on.
You' be Greg.
There you go.
Lay down.
Aren't you good? Good night, baby.
Come on, Nunzio.
That's a good boy.
Thattaboy.
Okay.
Alrighty.
Good night, baby.
Good night.
You know what? Somebody needs to learn to brush their teeth.
Oh, yeah, baby.
You know what I like.
- Yeah.
- Who are you talking to? My wife.
Do you mind? Yeah, baby.
Oh, you know what I like.
That's not it.
That's not it either.
Oh, come on, that's gross.
Nobody likes that.
Yes, I have.
Yes, I have.
You won't take my word for it? Here.
Wi you te Jane 've been a bad boy? There you go, Stinky.
So beautiful.
Look, just like Mommy.
Okay, et's see.
Oh, 10 ti 5.
What should we do now? Oh, Nunzio, 'm thinking Mohawk.
Jane.
You asleep? Jane.
Jane.
- What? - Oh, good, you're up.
Hey, listen, I just wanna thank you again for staying over.
You're wecome again.
You know what's weird? 'M tired, but 'm not seepy.
Sn't that weird, huh? - Weird.
- Yeah.
Do you miss Pete? 'M starting to.
You know what would be fun? - Sleeping.
- I wish.
No.
I was thinking we could go to the supermarket and slide up and down the aisles in our socks.
- You know what else would be really fun? - What? - T's gonna be coo.
Try this.
- Okay.
Okay.
- Close your eyes.
- Okay.
Now shut up.
Oh, 'm sorry.
T's just ever since met Greg, we have spent every night together.
What about the time he fell asleep at his ex-girfriend's? Yeah, I try not to bring that up.
Well, you know what? Because I care about you, 'm gonna hep you out here.
- Where are you going? - Back to my place to sleep.
Well, how does that help me? N the morning, you' be reay tired, but you' sti be aive.
No.
Jane, pease don't go.
Jane.
' Et you ki me.
Dharma, what are you doing here? Well, I got kicked out of the supermarket for no good reason.
What time is it? T's amost dawn.
Wanna watch the sunrise? - Abby, you're taking in your seep.
- No, no, it's Dharma.
Dharma, honey, there are no monsters.
Go back to your own bed.
Oh, my God, you're huge.
Go back to seep, Larry.
T's okay.
What's wrong, baby? You never crawled into bed with us unless there was a problem.
Just can't seep.
Oh, you want me to tuck you back in, pumpkin? Larry, she's grown up.
She lives across town now.
Your mother will tuck you in.
You miss Greg, don't you? - Can't seep without him.
- Sweetie.
Oh, know what that's ike.
When we first moved here your father used to forget and go back to our old house all the time.
Nice coupe, though.
They'd aways send him home in the morning.
Well, were you able to sleep at night? Like a baby.
In fact, Dharm, would you mind if I got a little more sleep right now? We went to a dulcimer concert last night and it got really wild.
- 'M sorry.
Sure, sure, sure.
- Okay.
Are you gonna go back home? No, think ' go in the iving room and draw on the feelings wall.
- Oh, that's nice.
- Oh, God.
I just had the strangest dream.
Dharma was all grown-up and lived across town.
And we finally had a democratic president.
- But we weren't happy.
- Go back to sleep, Larry.
Yeah, 'm having troube seeping too.
Hang on a second.
Hey, hey, hey, 'm trying to foow the story.
They're night nurses, they're naughty.
What more do you need to know? 'M sorry.
Pete's going through his briefs.
- What did you say? - 'Ve never had insomnia before.
Not even when you fell asleep at your ex-girfriend's house.
Listen, why don't you just fy out here and stay with me? No, I really need to work through this on my own.
- Well, you sure? - Yeah.
Pus, have casses and can't cance.
And you and Pete are busy working.
That's it, baby.
Say: Yeah, we're rea busy working.
Listen, honey, just try to get some sleep.
/ will.
/ think /'ll be okay now that / talked about it.
- Okay, / love you.
- Oh, yeah, baby, take his temperature.
I love you.
Okay, boys, tonight we sleep.
Okay, but first, who wants to pee on some trees? Come on.
You walked here? Well, Stinky and I walked.
We took turns carrying Nunzio.
But it's amost 10 mies.
Yeah.
T's a ot onger if you don't know you're coming here.
- Hey, do you wanna go for a walk? - Dharma, is something wrong? Does something have to be wrong for me to want to walk my mother-in-law? Kitty, can't find the Frank Sinatra album.
Do you think we can do this to Vic Damone? - Hi, Dharma.
- 'M sorry.
Did come at a bad time? Oh, no, no, no, won't be ready for an hour or so.
' Be up in a itte whie, Edward.
So will I.
All right, what is it? Kitty, I have a real problem, and all my friends are sick of hearing about it.
So you came to me? - 'M seep deprived.
What can say? - S this because Gregory's out of town? Yeah, can't beieve how much I miss him.
And that's it? Your problem is you miss your husband? Kitty, wasn't wearing my gasses and it seems I have taken one of your sleeping pills.
Oh, that's a right, Edward.
So did.
Good.
That worked out.
Good night.
Let me know when you have a real problem.
Hello? Oh, hi, honey.
Yeah, I guess I was sleeping.
Hey, I was sleeping! Hey, isten, 'm sorry was such a nut, but you were right that stupid plane-crash dream was just me freaking out that you were leaving.
And I talked to your mom, and I realized that 'm reay ucky that miss you.
You know, with a sleeping pill and a little sherry in her, she's kind of nice to tak to.
Oh, God, 'm sorry, 'm babbing.
What's up? / just called to say /'m gonna be a little late.
See, / thought it was a direct flight.
Apparently we have to change planes in North Dakota.
Give me one of those.