Lab Rats (2012) s02e23 Episode Script

1 Donald, I just noticed the holiday card we mailed out.
What happened to the family portrait we took to celebrate our first Christmas together? ( Chuckling ) Oh, I shredded those.
These are way more festive.
Who wants a Christmas cookie? Adam, those aren't even cooked.
Oh, no problem.
( Sighs ) Careful, they may be hot.
( Blowing ) Okay, who covered the entire house in blinking lights? People already think we're weird, we don't need to shine a light on it.
No, I did that.
I want to make sure Santa claus comes to our house first.
Adam, we all love Christmas, but I think you're going a little overboard.
( Banging noise ) ( Laughing ) That, however, is spot on.
Hey, get back up on the roof.
You're ruining my display.
You were lucky a raccoon chewed me free! ( Alarm sounding ) That's an urgent mission alert.
We have to get to the lab.
Hello? A little help? ( Grunting ) ( Yelling ) The alert is coming from facility x, my research center in the frozen tundra.
Hey, hey, I'm the mission specialist.
I'll handle this.
The alert is coming from facility x, his research center in the frozen tundra.
Wait.
The tundra's near the north pole.
( Gasping ) Santa needs our help! You wrap, you tape, I'll go hang with the elves.
Dr.
Evans.
Are you there? Yeah, I'm here.
Although there's been a major volcanic eruption nearby and we're experiencing aftershocks.
I'm afraid if we don't act fast Oh, merry Christmas to you, too, Dr.
Evans.
Rude.
Sorry, guys.
I know the timing's not ideal.
It's okay, Mr.
Davenport.
We know what we have to do.
Yep.
Let's crack open some eggnog and hit it hard after the new year.
The world's first bionic super-humans.
They're stronger than us, faster, smarter.
The next generation of the human race is Living in my basement? lab rats lab rats Lab rats lab rats Lab rats I can't believe you guys have to go on a mission on Christmas Eve.
Just to be clear, I don't have to wait for them to open my presents, right? Well, I'm not gonna let this ruin my Christmas spirit.
So, I will be wearing my Santa hat.
Really, Adam? A Santa hat with a mission suit? Hey, if the ladies at the bank can wear them at work, so can I.
I can't re-establish contact with Dr.
Evans.
The volcano must have knocked out satellite communications.
This giant ash cloud has plunged the area into total darkness.
There is no way rescue teams will be able to get through.
Well, that means Dr.
Evans is trapped.
Eh, he's better off.
The airports are packed this time of year.
There's an automated transport ready to take you up there, but without satellite communications, Leo and I won't be on the comm set.
Ah, well, it will be tough navigating through a mission without the constant sound of Leo chomping on carrot sticks.
Hey, you know I'm a stress eater.
( Doorbell ringing ) Oh, I got it.
Must be grandma with her holiday feast.
Or perhaps some carolers have come to spread some holiday cheer.
Merry Hey, dooley.
( Yells ) Code red.
Turn out the lights.
Everybody, hide.
Leo.
Hi.
I'm with him, I'll be behind the tree.
Don.
Sorry to bother you, but I ran into some car trouble while doing one of my favorite yuletide traditions.
Oh, were you driving around looking at Christmas lights? No.
I was tearing through puddles trying to splash carolers.
Took a corner too fast and accidentally ran over some of your decorations.
Ho-ho-ho, here you go.
Nice aim.
What are you driving, a tractor? I'm stuck.
I popped a tire and I can't get any cell phone service up here on rich man mountain.
Uh, we like to call it billionaire butte actually.
There's a history Stop talking, I'm on the phone.
Jose, Terry Perry.
Uh, yeah, had another accident.
I'm gonna need a tow.
No, the cat wasn't driving this time.
Uh-huh.
Ooh, cocoa.
( Laughing ) What? Ugh, great.
( Sighing ) There's only one driver tonight and there's 30 people ahead of me.
Hey, well, I have a bike pump.
Let's see if that works.
Leo.
Principal Perry, what are your Christmas plans? Not much.
Just enjoying my cats' production of the nutcracker, with me as the stage.
( Laughing ) The soundtrack comes courtesy of my belly growls.
You are more than welcome to spend Christmas with us.
No, she's really not.
Ah, I couldn't Without grabbing a few things from my car.
( Laughs ) What curse hath you wrought upon this house? Oh, good, you made it.
Uh, did we really just risk our lives to save a guy in a viking helmet? Oh, this? This is my TV antenna.
When the ash cloud clears, I get great reception.
All two eskimo channels.
Is everything okay here? Well, the volcano really shook things up.
Communications are down, and the pizza guy is four years late.
But other than that, I'm good.
Great.
Another genius with bad jokes.
( Laughing ) Merry Christmas to me.
Wow.
I can't believe I'm finally getting to meet the bionic super-humans I've heard so much about.
Wh you know our secret? Oh, great, we came to save him and now we have to destroy him.
Chase, you grab his legs, I'll get the bucket.
Stop.
He's Mr.
Davenport's chief scientist, he knows everything about us.
That's right.
Well, here, let me, let me show you around.
This is my lab-slash- bedroom-slash-kitchen slash- that's pretty much it.
Wait.
You live here all alone? With no brothers? Does this place have a guest house? This is it.
And I'm, I'm sorry about the mess.
Things have really gone downhill since my hologram wife left me.
I'm kidding.
( Laughing ) We actually get along great.
Although she's a hologram, she's not really there for me.
Hey, guys, look.
A giant crystal ball.
I'm gonna ask it a question.
When will chase start to look like a man? Uh, careful, careful.
It's a gamma-sphere.
It's a containment vessel for the most powerful energy known to man, gamma rays.
If we could harness these, we could solve the world's energy problems.
Davenport and I have been working on this for years.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
I was trying to develop a gamma-sphere for Mr.
Davenport.
Well, I guess I beat you to it, little guy.
But don't feel bad.
Nobody's perfect.
In fact, if they gave out medals for trying, you would have a gold.
Are you patronizing me? ( Laughing ) It's patronizing.
And yes.
You do realize I'm the smartest person on the planet? ( Grunting ) And every time you have to say it, it diminishes it just a little bit.
( Laughing ) Are you watching this? Oh, I can't look away.
Luckily, the sphere wasn't damaged during the eruption.
Even the slightest crack could have had catastrophic consequences.
Like what? The gamma rays would have blown a hole in the atmosphere and wiped out 20% of the population.
Well, that is Davenport industries: Risking the fate of mankind since 1992.
Come on, Dr.
Evans, we gotta get you out of here.
Whoa, I can't leave until I've stabilized a few things.
If you'll all help me, this won't take very long.
Oh.
Oh, it won't take long.
Because I'm smart.
You said it again.
( Sighing ) That's "a few things?" I keep my car stocked with supplies in case of emergency.
Or if I'm just too tired to walk to the house.
Oops, one more thing.
( Meows ) What a nice surprise.
You brought your cat.
No.
I brought my cats.
You won't even know that scratch, thumper, boom-boom, Mr.
Whiskers, dingle, and widget are even here.
They'll sleep with me inside the tent.
They form a living blanket around mama.
Uh, tent? I don't sleep on other people's bed linens.
And, no offense, dooley-davenports, but I don't know where you've been.
Oh, thanks for lending a hand, guys.
No problem.
Glad we could help.
'Cause you needed it.
Yep, brilliant scientist rescued by a 15-year-old.
You, sir, are welcome.
I know I haven't been around people for a while, but he's really annoying.
Yeah, it's the most powerful of all his abilities.
( Rumbling sound ) What's that noise? Oh, uh, you remember that questionable meatball sandwich I had at the gas station? Question's been answered.
No, that sounded like an aftershock.
Aftershock.
Brace yourselves.
( Rumbling continues ) ( Alarm sounding ) Okay, that was not the meatballs.
Uh, Dr.
Evans.
( Gasping ) Oh, no.
There's a crack in the gamma-sphere.
Oh, man, that looks dangerous.
Well, we're gonna bounce.
Merry Christmas.
Whoa, don't get too close.
If that crack opens up, those gamma rays'll mix with the ash cloud, and say good-bye, northern hemisphere.
Can we patch the crack? Patch the crack? Billion-dollar technology, unstable energy source.
Sure, let's put a little chewing gum in there and see if that works.
Starting to see why the hologram wife left.
Hey, how about I shoot my heat vision at it? Well, how would that help? I don't know, it's what I do.
( Crackling sound ) Whoa.
The more oxygen that gets in that crack, the worse this is gonna get.
Wait.
Maybe I can temporarily contain it with my force field.
Great.
And I'll come up with a more permanent solution.
( Zapping sound ) Well, uh, you seem busy, so I'm gonna go watch TV.
What do you, uh, recommend, eskimo one or two? ( Sighing ) Sorry we don't have a stocking for you.
( Gasping ) I got it.
Make sure you push the candy way down in there so it fills up my tootsies.
I'm gonna go squeeze into my Christmas jammies.
( Squeals ) Okay, we have got to get rid of her.
I agree, but all my plans end with us going to jail.
( Grunting, cats meowing ) What are you wearing? My Christmas pjs.
Want to see me belly dance frosty the snowman? No.
No.
( Yelling ) The gamma rays are melting a hole in my force field.
I don't know how much longer I'll be able to contain it.
Uh, you have to, I don't have a fix yet.
Shocking.
What, so when these gamma rays hit, we're pretty much goners.
Well, we'll be.
But you should be fine, since your head is full of lead.
Ha.
Yes.
Lead.
Hey, Dr.
Smarty, we just met.
You don't have that privilege yet.
No.
Lead can contain the gamma rays.
Exactly.
And Davenport made this building out of lead to keep everybody from spying on his secret technology.
All we have to do is rig enough explosives to Implode on the gamma-sphere.
Great idea.
Blowing stuff up on Christmas.
It is the most wonderful time of the year.
( Loud snoring ) ( Talking loudly ) Thank you for the scarf, Donald.
What? I said thank you, for the scarf.
Oh, you're welcome.
So, uh, Leo.
( Snoring stops ) What'd you get? I got socks.
Wet socks.
Oh.
That have been marked by a cat.
Okay.
( Phone ringing ) Oh, no.
Grandma's snowed in.
She's not gonna make it.
Great.
So, no Adam, no Bree, no chase, and no grandma Turkey? How much worse can this get? ( Groaning ) ( Yawning ) And there's my answer.
Merry Christmas, principal Perry.
I hope you slept well.
Mind your own business.
Ooh, Santa came.
What'd I get? What'd I get? ( Yelling ) ( Ripping sound ) Hopefully, some new pjs, 'cause those just ripped.
Um, no one got you Ooh, uh, of course we got you something.
It's Christmas.
You can't not get a gift on Christmas.
( Chuckling ) It would be rude.
Here you go, principal Perry.
Merry Christmas.
( Yelling excitedly ) ( Gasping ) A qht video game system.
I can exchange this for a nice blouse and two pairs of slacks.
The good kind that you don't have to iron.
Or wash.
But I asked for a qht.
Worst Christmas ever.
Ooh, somebody needs a nap.
Did he like the socks? Deck the halls with large explosives boom-boom-boom-boom boom-boom-boom-boom Okay.
Charges are set.
So now, all we have to do is light this fuse to start the implosion.
We'll only have 15 seconds to get out of the blast zone once the fuse is lit.
Oof.
Think we'll make it out in time? I know I will.
Okay, Adam, light the fuse.
Right.
( Powering down sound ) Let's go.
Oh.
These rays, they're so beautiful.
Although, I really thought they'd be a lot more blinding.
Ah, there's the burn.
Bree: Come on.
( Explosions going off ) Did it work? I still can't see anything.
Don't worry, it'll wear off.
We gotta get you out of here.
Adam, where did you park the transport? In the garage under facility x.
( Frustrated groans ) All right.
Dr.
Evans, hop on, you're first.
Ready when you are, missy.
What no.
Get ( Grunting ) Get Get off me.
She's a feisty little thing, isn't she? You know, after spending time with Perry, the grinch doesn't seem like such a bad guy.
Yeah, at least after he took everyone's presents he went home.
Mm-hmm.
What are you two doing down here? Same thing I do at school.
Hiding from principal Perry.
Leo, she is our guest.
It is rude to leave her upstairs by herself.
So get up there and let us know when she's gone.
Yeah.
Oh.
You're back.
It's so good to see you guys.
Merry Christmas.
Merry Christmas.
( All laughing ) So, how'd the mission go? Yes.
Well, how's my research facility? ( Laughing ) Oh, you wouldn't even recognize it.
Oh.
Hey, why are we down here when the presents are upstairs? Hey, wait, wait.
Not so fast.
Um Principal Perry is upstairs.
I repeat, Perry is in the house.
You know, I am very tired.
Yeah, I could use some sleep.
See you in the new year.
Freeze.
Look, the poor woman is all alone, and it's Christmas.
Hey, at least we're all together.
So, let's make the best of it, right? Absolutely not.
Enough is enough.
We are going to march up there right now and tell this woman, vamoose, lady.
This is our Christmas.
( All cheering ) Wait, she can't see us in our mission suits.
Well, hurry up and change, I'm not telling her without backup.
Principal Perry, we uh, smell food.
What are you doing? What's it look like? I'm making dinner.
We've had enough of this.
Get out.
Principal Perry, this is amazing.
Well, I didn't see you cooking anything.
Wow.
I can't believe you actually did something nice.
It's a Christmas miracle.
Ah, it's nothing.
I figured, I crashed your holiday, it's the least I could do.
Oh, look, how fancy.
She made a Christmas goose.
Oh.
It's actually a swan from the pond down the street.
You know, you could walk right up to 'em.
( Cat meowing ) Please tell me that's not coming from the oven.
I got it.
The Christmas tree is one big scratching post for those cats.
( Cats meowing ) Ooh, come on, dingle.
Come on, boy.
Oh, he's usually very, very good.
Principal Perry: Come on, dingle.
Come on.
He's getting really feisty now.
Sorry about this.
We're guests, dingle.
We're guests.
Come on, dingle.
Come on.
( Cat screeches ) Get out of here.
( Grunting ) ( Yelling ) Principal Perry, thank you again for this meal.
Oh, you're welcome.
I'll take that whenever you're ready.
What's this? Uh, your bill.
I see you included tax, tip, and the cost of a new tire.
Sorry, gratuity is included for parties of six or more.
I have no say in that.
You're actually gonna charge us for dinner? Well, I didn't make this meal with love.
I made it with skill, sweat, and whatever came off the tip of my pinky when I was chopping the veggies.
( Groaning ) ( Coughing )