Sonny with a Chance (2009) s02e23 Episode Script

Okay, rehearsal's up.
And, action.
Konichiwa and welcome.
To America's favorite Japanese game show: "where's the wasabi?" One of these pieces of Sushi.
Is loaded with super spicy Japanese wasabi mustard.
Contestants, where's the wasabi? - Is it in the salmon? - Is it in the salmon? Oh, it's just fishy.
Oh oh, octopus.
It's in the octopus.
Is it in the octopus? Uh Chewy.
- Squishy.
- Hmmm.
Huh hoo ha.
Ooh, that's hot.
Oh ah ah! It's hot! Guys, why is there real wasabi in there? - It burns! - And that's - How we play "where's the wasabi"? - Water water! How do we play "where's the funny"? Because I'm not seeing it.
Oh, water! - But you said you loved this sketch.
- That was 20 minutes ago.
Oh, water water! What's going on? You haven't liked a single sketch we've written all week.
That's because there's nothing to like.
And this sketch? This sketch stinks on rice.
See what I did there? Instead of stinks on ice, I said stinks on rice.
Because it's Sushi.
That's comedy! And I want to see some by tomorrow.
Ahhh.
So, uh, so did Marshall like the sketch? off to the races, I'm going places might be a long shot, not gonna waste it this is the big break and it's calling my name yeah so far, so great, get with it at least that's how I see it having a dream is just the beginning so far, so great, believe it can't take away this feeling taking a ride with chance on my side yeah, I can't wait so far, so great so far, so great ba ba da da-da, ba da da da-da ba ba da da-da, ba da da da-da yow! - I'm exhausted.
- Yeah.
We've been trying to come up with a sketch all night.
Okay okay, I got this.
How about this sketch? Let me just turn the camera on.
Okay.
All right, so there's a lizard, right? And he goes to the north pole.
And then a bunch of funny stuff happens.
But at the end of it he says, "iguana wish you a merry Christmas.
" Yeah, ha ha ha! Who's with me? We can't send that video to Marshall.
- He's miserable enough already.
- Yeah.
This is ridiculous.
What is Marshall's problem? He's been snippy for weeks.
Nothing makes him happy.
I know, right? Ooh, I got it Who am I? Who am I? Ready? See what I did there? See what I did there? I changed ice to rice, 'cause it's Sushi.
And I'm Marshall pike! See what I did there? See what I did there? My turn, my turn! I don't have any good ideas.
I just hate all yours.
What? 'cause I'm the boss.
I'm in charge.
Okay.
Unless my mommy calls.
Marshall, it's your mother.
I want you home by 6:00.
So we can go girdle shopping.
For you.
- That's so good.
- Guys, guys, guys, Let's call it a night, all right? Let's just send him Sonny's stupid iguana thing.
I mean, whatever we send he'll hate anyway.
You know what we should send him.
Is our Marshall impressions.
Ha! Yeah right.
Seriously though, you should delete those.
No no no, actually I'm gonna send them right now, Marshall.
Come on, you wouldn't dare.
Oh you you don't think I would? - No, come on.
- Um, no.
- You wouldn't dare.
- You don't think I'll do it? - No! - No, we just said no.
That's really funny, 'cause I just hit send.
What'd you do? - Are you crazy? - Relax relax.
I hit delete, okay? - Oh, trying to scare me.
- Oh my gosh, I hit send! No, unsend unsend! Sorry.
I feel like I've been called to the principal's office.
I was home-schooled.
I feel like I'm in my mother's kitchen.
Get ready to move back there because none of us are keeping our jobs.
Look, relax.
Nobody is losing their jobs, okay? Not if we stick together and tell Marshall we were just fooling around.
- Yeah.
- We were just blowing off steam.
- Yeah, you're right.
- You're right.
- Fire Sonny! - Oh, we have no free will.
She did it! - Sonny did it.
- Marshall, look, I'm really really sorry.
We all are.
Look, I'm not happy about what you did.
But it really showed me how crabby I've been lately.
I guess it's because I turned You're 40-something? Would that something be 50? I always thought by the time I turned 40-something - I'd be something.
- But, Marshall, you are.
You have a really great job.
Yeah, but I always wanted to perform, To be on the stage "my life with ma"; To hear the applause and the laughter, Just like you kids do after every show.
Ah well.
I'll just keep bottling it up and take my anger out on you.
Yeah, that's what I'm gonna do.
Now come up with a sketch that's funny! - You see what I did there? - Yeah yeah.
All right, well, at least we still have our jobs.
Yeah, let's get out of here before somebody makes things worse.
Hey, where's Sonny? - Sonny! - Don't make things worse! Sonny Ahem.
What are you still doing here? Marshall, I think that you should go for your dream.
And do your one-man show.
Well, I can't just leave and drop.
All my responsibilities at "so random!" Why not? We'll be okay.
Well, I I guess it would be a shame.
For a script like this to go to waste.
That's your one-man show? I live with my mother.
There's only one room where I have any privacy.
The first act, second act.
Come on, Marshall, you don't want to just Flush this dream down the toilet.
Do you? No.
You wanna know why? 'cause you were born to play these "rolls.
" See what I did there? Why, yes I did.
I'm convinced.
Sonny, I'm gonna take off two weeks.
And live the dream.
Ooh ooh, I should write about this in my diary.
"dear diary, I'm taking the plunge.
" It's so freeing with Marshall gone.
I can just sit around all day reading magazines.
Um, you do that when Marshall is here.
Yes, but do I do this? Yes.
It just feels freer, okay? You haven't even gotten dressed yet? Oh no no no no.
I slept in my shirt and jeans.
I changed into this.
Wanna know why? 'cause I can.
Marshall's not here.
So every day is jammy day.
What? - You were doing jammy day? - Yeah.
I'm doing jammy day! Jammy slam! So are you wearing a diaper? No! Well, ahem, me neither.
But thanks to Sonny, We could totally wear one if we wanted to.
Uh, excuse me, kids, is this "so random!"? Yeah, it sure is.
How can we help you? I'm Stanley.
I'll be filling in for Marshall.
Great, there goes our freedom.
- Yeah.
- Huh.
From a guy named Stanley? Please.
pushover! .
You're right, stanley can be a bit of a pushover.
But you know who isn't? Savage stan! Are you ready to take your comedy to the extreme? Because until Marshall comes back.
We're going to yuk it up gladiator-style! I'm scared.
Bet you wish you were wearing a diaper now, huh? Listen up, you comedy cream puffs.
I was the executive producer.
At "tween gladiators," but there was.
An incident.
And now I am your new executive producer.
Ah.
( Chuckles ) excuse me, Mr.
Savage.
Uh, d-define incident.
The pinkie is overrated.
I knew we were one short.
Now get in line! Now here's the deal: Your sketches are weak.
Your jokes are flabby.
And your characters are as undeveloped as this guy's arms.
- I'm a 12-year-old girl.
- No excuse! It kind of is.
Zip it! Now we are gonna put the punch.
In punchline, the slap.
In slapstick.
And if we break a few bones.
In the process, It'll be funny.
Broken funny bones.
Do you see what I did there? I don't like what you did there.
Good morning, cream puffs.
Good morning, savage stan.
Wasn't he clean-shaven last night? Oh yeah, he was.
I shave four times a day! - It is my private shame! - Okay okay.
Now! Marshall says your "where's the wasabi?" sketch.
Was weak.
That is because you are weak.
- Oh.
- So you are going to be doing push-ups.
Over bowls of wasabi.
Now drop and give me funny! - Where is the wasabi?! - ( Falters ) is it in the salmon? No.
Where is the wasabi?! Is it in the octopus? - No.
- I don't know what he wants us to say.
Where is the wasabi? It's in my eyes! Yes! Now that is funny.
It burns.
Oh, it burns.
Knock knock.
Who's there? Knock knock.
Who's there? Hey, guys, good news.
The doctor says I'm gonna be fine.
- As long as I don't get anything else in my eyes.
- Oh, that's great.
Why is there wasabi on that thing? Oh, it burns.
Oh, it burns.
This guy kills me.
Ow, it burns, guys.
It burns bad! Next we are going to do.
An observational exercise.
Because comedy is all around you.
Now who's our first volunteer? Run! Call for help.
Call for help.
Call for help.
Hi, Marshall, how's it going? Sonny, Sonny, you pushing me out the door was.
The greatest thing that ever happened to me.
Ask him when he's coming back.
So, Marshall, any chance we'll be seeing you sooner than two weeks? - Absolutely.
- Great.
If you come to the theater, 'cause that's where I'm going to be for the rest of my life.
- I'm quitting "so random!" - You're quitting "so random!"? - No! - No! No! Thanks.
All right, guys.
Good news the wasabi blindness is temporary.
I just have to avoid physical activity.
For the next three seconds, so Three, two ( screams ) Marshall! Marshall! Marshall! Marshall! Guys, I think it's this way.
- Marshall! - Whoa! - We gotta talk to you! - Wait! You can't stop Marshall from living his dream.
Sonny, enough! We heard you the whole ride here.
- Uh-huh.
- Whole ride! - Blah blah blah.
- Anyways, we have to get Marshall back.
- Before savage stan kills us.
- Us? Us? Hello! Temporary wasabi blindness.
You guys, Marshall is having the time of his life.
You can't just take that away from him for your own selfish needs.
Do you even know us? Hi, kids, what are you doing here? - Oh marshall - No no no! - We just wanted to tell you - Tell you how excited we are - About you coming back - Coming back to where you belong: The theater.
Oh, I know why you kids are here.
You couldn't wait to see the show, huh? - Nope! - All right, I'm gonna give you a little preview.
Of "my life with ma"! Come on.
Sit sit sit sit.
Ooh, it's my first audience.
All right, ready? Let's start at the very beginning.
Ma meets Marshall.
Waaaah! It's a boy.
How was my first day of kindergarten? How do you think it was, ma? How was my first day of college? How do you think it was, ma? because you can't spell Marshall you can't spell Marshall you can't, Ahh! spell Marshall without ma! She rocks me to sleep.
.
Yeah! What do you think? Well It's perfect! I wouldn't change a thing.
That's what I felt.
I'm gonna go tell ma she's wrong.
- Ma! - No.
What do you mean you wouldn't change a thing? That was horrible.
You guys were right.
We have to stop Marshall from performing the show.
Oh no no no.
You were right we have to let him perform.
Yeah, the show is so bad Marshall's gonna bomb.
And then he'll have to come back to "so random!" There is no way that I'm gonna let that happen.
- Get her! - No what Stop it! You put me down.
We gonna let it happen.
See, I'm gonna get all gladiator on you, But I'm gonna do it.
I'm gonna do it.
- Put me down.
Stop it.
- Put you down.
- Guys? - ( Door closes ) Ah, they'll come back for me.
you can't spell Marshall, you can't spell .
Guys? you can't spell Marshall you can't spell Marshall aw, you can't spell Marshall - without ma.
- ( Knocks ) - Ahem, Marshall? - Hey! Hey you.
Look, we gotta talk.
Oh, you're still buzzing about that little taste.
Of the show I gave you, huh? Yeah, you know.
I just I still can't.
Quite shake that taste.
Me neither.
You know, Sonny, A lot of great things have happened in this office.
But the best was when you told me to follow my dream.
Oh.
You know, I've been thinking a lot about dreams lately.
And I realized that, you know, there's a reason.
Why people call them dreams.
And not realities, you know what I mean? Oh yeah! For most people.
Oh, those poor delusional saps.
Look, Marshall, This is gonna be hard for me to say, But your show, it just Needed a little something.
M-more like a big a big something.
Sonny, I'm not stupid.
I think I know where you're going with this thing.
Thank goodness.
I just I didn't want to have to say the words.
You don't have to.
Let me say it for you.
You want to be in the show, huh? - I do? - I knew it! I knew it.
It may be a one-man show, but my dream is big enough for the two of us.
Sonny, you are gonna play ma.
What? Yeah.
I wiped his tush I cut her meat I gave him baths I wash her feet we work together, we're here forever you can't spell Marshall, you can't spell Marshall you can't spell Marshall without maaaaa! she rocks me to sleep.
yeah! That's odd that cheering sounds a lot like booing.
No no, they're not booing.
They're saying, "bo-ooy, that was a good " who am I kidding? Yeah, at least they're not throwing anything, you know what I mean? Hey! Hey, that was Tawni's shoe.
What was I thinking, having a dream? Get off the stage! You know what? You're right.
- I am getting off the stage.
- No Oh, and grab my shoe! Shame on you for booing my boy.
Sit down! He deserves better than that.
Is this still part of the show? I'm not sure.
Instead of booing him for his failure, You should be applauding him.
For his courage For taking a chance on his dream.
So let's hear it for my boy.
I said let's hear it for my boy! Sonny, it's okay.
My dream is over.
Marshall, you told us your dream was.
To do a show and hear applause and laughter.
You know what? You do that every week on "so random!" Without you pushing us to be our funniest and to do our best, The show would Stink on rice.
See what I did there? I see what you did there.
That laughter and applause that you hear every week.
Is just as much for you as it is for us.
I guess I never thought about it that way.
I guess I was already living my dream.
So will you come back to "so random!"? Absolutely.
My performing days are over.
Yes! - Oh man, it's a miracle.
- What? - You can see? - No, Marshall's coming back.
Do your eyes feel like they're on fire? It's burns.
Are you experiencing dry mouth? Does it feel like you've been smacked in the face with a giant fluff stick? Then you are using your Wasabi wrong.
Or using wasabi can lead to Itchy Eyes, Cripsy Corneas, Pyrotechnic Pupils.
Volcanic Throat.
Vomiting.
- And feeling of loneliness.
- Guys? You need to remember: Wasabi is a food! Not a face cream! Wasabi: a little of it is a tasty treat.
But too much of it does that.
- It's burns! - Please use wasabi responsably.
Edited by HoneyBunny