Gossip Girl s02e24 Episode Script
Valley Girls
and who am i? that's a secret i'll never tell.
you know you love me.
x.
o.
x.
o.
, gossip girl.
(missing persons) ?you ask yourself ? ?where do we go from here? ?life is so strange ? ?destination unknown ? ?when you don't know ? ?your destination ? ?and something could change ? (woman) rhodes records.
rick rhodes' office.
Hi.
is he in? It's lily.
Who? His daughter? Oh.
ahem.
one moment, please.
Thank you.
thank you very much.
(click) (man) hey, lil.
long time, babe.
Hi, dad.
i know, um, which is why i was hoping That we could, like, catch up or something.
There's so much to talk about.
Is there any way that you can, uh, have lunch? You're in l.
a.
? why aren't you in santa barbara? In school? well, we can make it a dinner if that's better for you.
I'm leaving for london.
but, lil, what's going on? geoffrey's? your regular table? Great.
okay, see you then.
love you.
(horn honks) (man) mrs.
bass? We're here.
Oh, yes.
thank you.
Serena's been in jail for over four hours.
She's already served more time Than nicole richie and lindsay lohan combined.
She's a socialite mistakenly accused of stealing a bracelet.
I doubt they're working her over with the phone book.
When i called lily, she said she was on her way.
Where is she? i just can't believe she had her own daughter arrested.
I mean, who does that? someone who's never been arrested.
Hello.
i'm lilian bass.
I'm here for my daughter, serena van der woodsen.
So was lily blown away? well, not really.
Yeah, he never actually, uh proposed.
minor detail in a proposal.
Kinda the key ingredient to the recipe.
so he came home and went into his room.
Uh, we haven't seen him since.
ahem.
hey, dad.
Oh, so prom tomorrow night-- What do you say? we stay in, watch some scary movies? the scarier the better.
Absolutely.
you guys are the "gossip girl" generation.
Don't expect me to believe you're not interested In this gossip.
uh, nope.
only interested in my nim chow.
So to add to the lily intrigue-- or possibly help explain it-- I got a weird call about your investment.
The money's gone.
it's over.
really? 'cause, uh, serena had a plan to get it all back.
It's-- no, lily had a plan of her own.
Well, that's what i was hoping.
yeah, she had serena arrested.
What? w-why? I suggest you kids stay out of it.
Let these van der woodsen women fight it out themselves.
Wow.
(camera shutter snaps) (jail door slams) (sighs) You forced me to do this.
i just hope you learned your lesson.
That my mom's crazier than i ever imagined? Well, no crazier than you, my daughter, Thinking you could fix this situation yourself.
i was fixing this, But then you were too worried what people would think.
when you're a mother, You will understand that you have to make decisions That don't always win you points for popularity.
When i'm a mother, i will be nothing like you.
Yes, you say that now, but just wait.
I would rather give my kids up for adoption Than end up like you.
Oh, wait.
you did that.
I came down here To drop the charges and put this behind us.
Please show a little respect, and i will stick with my plan.
I'll just stick to mine.
If you didn't notice, you weren't my phone call.
oh, so who was? She called me, darling.
Ironic, isn't it? If only she knew.
(serena) hey, grandma.
for those who complain about the youth of today, if you think we're bad, you should've seen our parents.
(camera shutter snaps) I don't care how much ahmet wants to give him.
The guy can't sing.
I'll pay for his publishing.
good-bye.
Hey, beautiful.
you get lost? I'm sorry i'm late.
i couldn't find parking.
That's what the valet's for.
right, but it also costs $2, and i just spent that on gas.
Here to hit dad up for some cash? what? (laughs) no.
So, um, christmas was weird without you.
You know how important the fourth quarter is to retail.
Somebody's gotta keep tower records in business.
But i was sorry i couldn't be there.
Yeah um, about that I'm not a headshrinker or anything, But i do think the sudden uprooting Of my family from new york, Coupled with my parents' tumultuous divorce May have contributed to some recent difficulties That i might be having.
you got kicked out of boarding school.
what? wait, wait.
how did you know that? she told me.
Mom.
Hello, lily.
what are you doing here? If it was up to your father, They'd stop me at the county line, But santa barbara's really only a prison in my mind, good to see you, cece.
wish i could say the same, richard.
you hung up the phone with me, and you called her? You didn't even give me a chance to explain.
That's because he would have to parent, And we know he always leaves "bad cop" to me.
Punishing loved ones just comes so much more naturally To some people.
excuse me.
may i have a gin and tonic? no tonic.
I come with some good news.
You're letting me live with dad? no way.
That's exactly what i was gonna say.
my bags are in the car.
And can i have the room that overlooks the tennis courts? I love that room.
thank you for coming all the way down here, Mom, but i think this is all worked out, right? richard? Lily, that sounds so good.
it's just-- Actually, your father did make a call to the school.
I told 'em what had been happening at home, About your sister taking off, your mother and i splitting up.
I explained that it was An isolated, uncharacteristic act of rebellion.
They're willing to turn your expulsion into a suspension.
what? you can be back on monday.
but i wanted to get expelled.
Lily, whatever for? that school has everything.
Everything except for dad.
You're living this amazing new life here, And i'm just scared that by the time i graduate, I won't be a part of it anymore.
And what if you forget about me? Lil, you do not have to ever worry about that.
I just have a lot going on right now with work.
I can't give you the time, the--the supervision That you need.
just like clockwork.
Okay.
Dad.
I'm late.
i've gotta pack, get to the airport.
Put lunch on my account.
i'll talk to you soon.
dad, no.
Why do you always have to do that? Dad.
(sighs) thank you.
Please don't walk away.
You need to be with your mother, lil, Out of the city, in school.
We can't let you turn out like your sister.
Carol? yeah, i think we can all agree on that front.
She ran away from our family, and for what? To become an actress, which is a completely unrealistic goal.
I mean, yeah, she was pretty good as abigail In "the crucible," but what was that, like, 11th grade? Anyway, the point is-- is i'm not carol.
I don't crave adventure or the freedom To walk my own path.
i'm perfectly comfortable With the path that you guys have laid out for me.
go home, lil.
(kisses) dad, you have a giant house.
i won't be any trouble.
I'll call you when i get back from london.
I'm sorry.
I love you.
Lily, it's over.
Let's go home.
I'll follow you back.
See you at home.
(engine revs) (elevator bell dings) eric and i had the most invigorating walk From the hotel.
you know, grandma is deceptively quick.
Oh, she's probably racing back to that bottle of gin She has hidden under the sink in the bathroom.
zing.
Good morning to you as well.
what are you doing here, mother? I don't remember inviting you as our guest.
I know i haven't called you, and i'm positive you haven't So much as received a christmas card Or fruitcake at the holiday.
well, you can be thankful for the last one.
What have i done to earn your ire, my dear? well, let me think for a second.
Maybe telling rufus about our child? I'm sorry if i thought it appropriate That rufus learns he has a son.
Uh, you mean "had.
" He died.
Oh.
I had no idea.
Imagine, something you don't know.
now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to take serena breakfast in bed so i can start the healing with my daughter.
uh, you might want to put a hold on the healing.
Serena's not in her room.
what? i thought she was coming home with you.
where is she? Why are you still in jail? (serena) it's my choice.
Oh, god.
you're not gonna come out of there With a mullet and a girlfriend, are you? my mother didn't think that i was old enough To make my own decisions, so i decided to stay in jail, And i'm not leaving Until she agrees to let me live my own life.
so it's a war of attrition.
(exhales deeply) so to speak.
Except she gets to wage the war from the comfort Of her penthouse while you remain behind bars.
look, don't worry about me.
enjoy prom with nate, Like you always planned In that scrapbook that you kept under your bed.
(scoffs) please.
i don't remember that.
I was a child then.
I should go.
i don't want to abuse my phone privileges.
The fact that you're on an actual pay phone Has me beyond nauseous.
Stay strong, s.
What's this for? strength.
you will need.
I have good news and bad news.
which do you want? Good news first, always.
There is replacement.
what are you talking about? It makes more sense if you pick bad news first.
Your dress for prom.
The dry cleaners-- they ruined it.
This body bag.
corpse not pretty.
But there's a replacement.
back to good news.
This morning it arrived from paris.
Just like in scrapbook.
(laughs and gasps) Oh! it is.
Oh! just like my scrapbook i don't remember keeping And haven't looked at since i was an early adolescent.
Oh, i-it must be from daddy.
Tonight is going to be magical.
(laughs) You know, prom hasn't exactly been going as planned.
The florists lost blair's corsage.
Someone bought up all the peonies, And when i called to confirm my limo, It had been rented out by a bachelorette party in jersey.
(inhales sharply) the heart quickens.
Yeah, well, my hotel room was mysteriously canceled, And now i just found out blair's dress has been ruined.
how tragic.
I gotta ask am i sabotaging your dream prom? The answer is no, nathaniel.
And i don't know how many times We need to have this conversation.
Blair is yours.
Okay.
Oh, what a restorative nap that was.
I feel so much better.
Well, i'm afraid that moment is not going to last.
Eric out of earshot? i sent him to a movie with jonathan.
So no one can hear me scream.
you're gonna what, lily, Hack me to pieces, suffocate me with a pillow? i am simply-- and for the last time-- Gonna ask you to leave my home and never come back.
"never" is a, uh, very long time, darling.
You are toxic.
I'm your mother.
and a memorable one at that, so much so it seems That try as i might, i can't help turning into you.
well, maybe that's 'cause You finally are starting to see the wisdom of my ways.
You blame me for everything.
and you accept responsibility for nothing.
You know, maybe carol's right.
The only way to have a normal life is without you in it.
your sister was rebellious And ungrateful for my love, and look where she ended up.
From where i'm sitting, it doesn't look so bad.
I don't want you meddling With my family or with my love life anymore.
I want you out.
now.
Hi.
i'm looking for my sister carol.
carol rhodes.
Uh, i think that she works here.
is she in? I'm covering four extra tables today, so that'd be no.
Flaking on work-- that seems like carol.
Do you know where she might be? (dishes clatter) Hey! watch where you're going, spaz.
You almost got udon all over my gucci.
Personally, i don't see it.
See what? The family resemblance.
to carol? wait.
you know her? Yeah.
Well, do you know where she might be? Trying to work here.
well, you missed a spot.
(taps counter) it's kinda sticky.
I'm sorry.
i'm sorry.
I've had a really rough day.
i got kicked out of school, My dad doesn't want me to live with him, I can't stand my mom, i spent the last $9 that i had on gas, And so now i'm broke and i'm homeless, And unless i can find my sister, who i basically Haven't talked to in, like, a year, I'm gonna have to become a prostitute.
and i don't even know how to be a prostitute.
I mean, really, how much small talk is required? And--and where do you even go? and are b.
j.
s a must? Because if that's the case, i am so not doing that.
Not that any of that information is relevant Unless you're a john.
not a john.
owen.
Lily.
There's a gig at the 6-0-7 tonight.
Chances are your sister will be there.
My friend's kinda dating her.
if you wanna go On a double date? with a guy That i just met five minutes ago? you could be a psycho.
My shift ends in ten.
probably see your sister.
Don't want to come, i'll give her your regards And summarize the whole, uh, prostitute thing.
I could change.
I have my suitcase in the car.
Yeah.
i'm just guessing, But i don't think that's gonna work.
You should try something like this.
Your sister's always changing for auditions and stuff.
(taps locker) Wow.
She's really changed.
I can't believe that she has this.
we went ice skating at rockefeller center.
she snuck me out of the house.
we took a bus across town.
my mom was so furious.
It was so much fun.
We were, like, Best friends.
You can go now.
already out the door.
(cell phone rings) Oh, hello, daniel.
Hey.
so, uh, look, i'm really sorry to bother you, But i can't leave serena one more message And still call myself a man.
Not that it's exactly manly to be calling her "mother," But i-i-i-i really need to know, Uh, how mad is she? Oh, i-i wouldn't worry.
She hasn't gotten your messages.
They take your cell phone away when you're in jail.
Wait.
She's--she's still in jail? (billy idol's "dancing with myself" playing) Hey.
i think i need a dress for prom.
Okay.
but you're gonna have to wear your own shoes.
?on the floors of tokyo ? ?a-down in london town's a go-go ? ?a-with the record selection and the mirror's reflection ? ?i'm a-dancing with myself ? ?oh, oh, dancing with myself ? ?oh, oh, dancing with myself ? ?if i had the chance, i'd ask one to dance ? ?if i had the chance, i'd ask one to dance ? ?ow ? ?oh, oh, oh, oh ? ?oh, oh, oh, oh ? ?oh, oh, oh, oh ? ?oh, oh, oh, dancing with myself ? ?oh, oh, dancing with myself ? ?oh, oh, dancing with myself ? Get out, perv! sorry.
You're taking long enough.
(sighs) do i looks like i'm wearing a halloween costume? No.
You look good.
Is this the moment where you fall in love with me? Oh, it is, isn't it? You're totally falling in love with me right now.
are you coming or not? ?if i had the chance, i'd ask one to dance ? Hello.
i'd like to drop The charges against serena van der woodsen.
There's been a terrible misunderstanding.
well, you can talk to someone about the charges, But your daughter's gone.
?oh, oh, dancing with myself ? ?oh, oh, dancing with myself, oh, oh ? ?stand and deliver! ? (applause) ?i'm the dandy highwayman who you're too scared to mention ? ?i spend my cash ? ?on looking flash and grabbing your attention ? ?the devil take your stereo and your record collection ? ?the way you look ? ?you qualify for next year's old-age pension ? ?stand and deliver ? ?your money or your life ? ?try and use a mirror ? ?no bullet or knife ? ?i'm the dandy highwayman so sick of easy fashion ? Wow, you're, like, really popular around here.
Yeah, when you don't have a lot of family at home, You gotta find it somewhere else.
?nothing is worth taking? ? ?it's kind of tough to tell a scruff ? ?the big mistake he's making, stand and deliver ? ?your money or your life ? It's kinda cool, right? Sure.
yeah, cool place to catch hepatitis.
Owen! (can clatters) missed our set, man! it was awesome.
It was like (howls) it was wicked! ha ha! shep, hey.
Hey, who's the betty? this your new girl? no.
No.
we're looking for her sister.
no time to talk, guys.
your needs are gonna have to wait.
I have a plan.
actually, you know, it's more than a plan.
It's a mission.
but it's not just about me.
It's about my lady.
she's been wronged, And i'm gonna make it right.
(snaps fingers) What did they do to your lady, tattoo the wrong butt cheek? (woman) randy walter sheppard! My 20s are ticking away as we speak, And we gotta go now! Carol! carol? Lily? What are you doing here? What are you guys doing with my sister? whoa.
wait.
she's--she's your sister? she's your lady? kind of.
No! lily, oh, my god.
it's so good to see you.
How do you know owen? i'm so sorry i haven't written more Or called, like, ever.
are you totally mad? Wait.
what are you doing in l.
a.
? is something wrong? Is everything okay? yeah.
no, not really.
i have--i have to talk to you About something, and it's kind of major.
okay, and i wanna hear about it, i mean, totally there for you, But right now i have to handle something, and it cannot wait.
i know.
(lily) neither can this.
(carol) we'll talk in the car.
(shep) to the impala.
(lily) to the what? where? (owen) the mission is on the move.
oh, my god, lily.
it's so good to see you.
I've missed you.
are you wearing my dress? ?stand and deliver ? ?your money or your life ? (playing swing version of "stand and deliver") (indistinct conversations) (blair) oh, my god.
look at this place.
I've always tried to make my life Resemble the movie in my head, And tonight, no effort required.
voil? (laughs) Vote for prom king and queen? We don't do prom queen.
that's for suburban schools And the lame teen comedies that are set at them.
We're doing it this year.
there's a tiara and everything.
A tiara? But if you don't want to vote for yourselves We were nominated.
(laughs) let's see.
I mean, of course we were.
(isabel) aw, you guys, i think i'm getting sentimental.
it's true.
this is probably our last huddle.
Yeah, if you do this stuff in college, People think you're pathological.
Come on, ladies.
let's commit election fraud.
I can't wait to see blair's face When she loses prom queen to nelly.
(giggles) And look, i-i know this thing with your mom Took on a life of its own, but i just want to say That i'm sorry for starting it in the first place.
it was just really upsetting That--that you went to her without giving me a warning.
I know, and normally i would never do something like this, But lily is not like other parents.
with good judgment, morals and maternal instinct? And when she said that she was gonna take care of it, I never imagined that you'd end up incarcerated.
the most frustrating part is She thinks she did take care of it.
Hey, soldier, eyes up front.
Well, i'm, uh, i'm glad you let me bail you out Or let me call cece to, 'cause missing your prom Just to spite your own mother is--is kinda-- something only she would do, yeah.
Thank you for--for getting me to see that, And thank you for breaking the cycle of crazy.
(laughs) So what happened to the beemer that mom and dad got you? Oh, i sold it.
For this? As if.
i gave it to this guy.
He had this really amazing idea.
It goes around your waist like a belt So you can put stuff in it, like a purse.
Wow.
that's a really sound investment.
What's that supposed to mean? Nothing.
nothing.
(scoffs) It just--your life isn't exactly how you described.
You told mom that you were making it out in l.
a.
i am making it.
this is what making it looks like Before you've totally made it.
Carol, i've always thought That you were really, really talented.
It's just-- is it really worth Living your life, you know Like this? well, it's not forever.
Not once we get shep's music video on mtv.
I'm totally the star.
a music video equals national exposure.
It's the birth of a new art form.
really? shep's band? Okay, i know you probably wouldn't think so Having met shep, but they're actually kinda great.
Well, if they're so great, then why don't you Give their demo to dad? because he's dad, and i'm doing this on my own.
(turns volume up) (lowered voice) listen, don't tell anybody about who we are.
Especially them.
why do you care what they think? And besides, being us is awesome.
all that money comes with strings attached, lily.
People treat you differently.
Yeah, better.
Wow.
(laughs) could you sound any more like mom? Of course i sound like mom.
She's the only female role model i've had since you bailed on us.
Hey.
I think we're here.
(sighs) I never wanted to be like my mother.
I wanted to be open to life and--and fearless And not always thinking three steps ahead--and consequences And what would people say or what would my father think.
Well, you have, for the most part, With a few notable exceptions.
That beautiful dinner you made-- You were gonna propose, weren't you? But you didn't.
Because what i did to serena made you fundamentally question The kind of person that i am.
you're unpredictable, that's for sure.
When i was younger, that was damn exciting.
You were always surprising me.
I'm just doomed to repeat my mother's mistakes.
why do you always have to do that? dad, wait.
please don't walk away.
Our mistakes are ours alone to repeat or correct.
I should forgive serena for defying me.
Or first maybe you need to forgive cece.
oh, my mother doesn't need forgiveness.
She needs electroshock therapy.
you've got good reason to be angry with her-- those messed up values she passed on to you.
i'll follow you back.
Until you let it go, How can you move forward with your own daughter? Cece's never gonna change, lil.
But you still can.
Thank you, rufus.
(sighs) I'm glad we can talk, but as for everything else, I just don't know where we stand right now.
Even after 20 years, You're still not sure who i am.
It's not that i'm not sure.
It's just, i think you're still figuring it out.
Ah.
And she sticks the landing.
So is information on this mission Revealed on a need-to-know basis? Because i really need to know.
carol.
The so-called director of our music video Took our money and then jacked up his fee, And now he's holding our video hostage, And i am a hostage negotiator.
yeah, just 'cause this dork's uncle is john landis Doesn't mean he's above the law.
No richie rich film school kid rips off me and my girl.
shep, i'm not your girl.
Right.
she's-- she's more like my muse.
Oh, sweet hand towels.
So are we, like, breaking and entering? Seriously? the window was unlocked, So really, it's just entering.
And i thought investing in purse belts was a bad idea.
thanks, lily.
Since i know how much you love following the rules, Why don't you just stay here, far away from the party, Where people are actually having fun? Owen, can you keep an eye on her? (toilet flushes) (sighs) What? just because my idea of a good time Isn't getting arrested for breaking into some guy's house, I'm automatically a stuck-up goody two-shoes? It doesn't exactly make you the life of the party.
Where's the bar? I think it's this way.
(swing music playing) You made it! yeah! there was a last minute change of plans.
Yeah, i sprung her out of the pokey.
You can-- you can thank me later.
well, i just spent ten seconds talking to you, So consider yourself repaid.
have fun.
(laughs) (chuckles) So, you know, Not that i imagined, uh, much about my time at prom, But, um it measures up.
Did you ever imagine yourself dancing at prom? That i did.
well, i am here to make dreams come true.
Come dance with me.
bailing you out of prison And dancing with you at prom in one night? that's Yeah, i'm here to make things interesting.
? (men without hats) ?we can dance if we want to ?/i> ?we can leave your friends behind ?/i> ?'cause your friends don't dance and if they don't dance ?/i> ?well, they're no friends of mine ?/i> ?i say, we can go when we want to ?/i> ?a place where they will never find ?/i> ?and we can act like we come from out of this world ?/i> ?leave the real one far behind ?/i> ?/i> (inhales deeply) hey, van der woodsen, you want some? (depeche mode's "just can't get enough" playing) (carol) hey, keith! Surprised to see me? Carol.
hey.
Wow.
you, uh, You look amazing.
Really? even more amazing than in the video you won't give us? Look, i'm sorry about that.
i just, uh, I couldn't think of any other way to get you to call me So i could explain-- you have a girlfriend.
nothing else to explain.
I just want the video.
Hey.
who is this? Is she available? Nah, man.
Nah, she, uh, she was just leaving.
No, i wasn't.
?we walk together, we're walking down the street ?/i> ?i just can't get enough, i just can't get enough ?/i> ?it's getting hotter ?/i> ?it's our burning love, and i just can't seem ?/i> Oh! ?to get enough, ah ?/i> Oh, is this the moment where you fall in love with me? It is, isn't it? You're totally falling in love with me right now.
(chuckles) ?/i> (glass shatters) (carol) spare me, keith! (blair) this is low, even for you.
I can't believe you did this, chuck.
You know how important prom is to me! blair, what's wrong? I caught him with these.
they're all marked With nelly yuki's name.
he's sabotaging me.
My missing corsage, my dress, the limo and hotel? (carol) we paid you 500 bucks to shoot that thing.
we were friends then.
i was giving you a special rate.
Our relationship's changed now.
You can pay me the balance in cash Or i don't know What are you doing saturday? Gross.
my sister would never sleep with you.
yeah, 'cause she's dating me.
Shep, we're not dating.
we were never dating.
Well, both of you don't know carol very well, 'cause, yeah, she totally slept with me.
(clicks tongue) pretty fun, too.
You slept with your music video director? i didn't know he had a girlfriend, And i broke it off as soon as i found out.
But what he wants to charge us? Might as well be a million bucks.
And i know you probably think i should ask mom and dad For the money, but Whatever.
i'll think of something.
it's fine.
No, carol.
it's not fine.
Hi.
i'm lily rhodes, and that's my sister, And no one treats us this way.
Okay.
we already called the cops, so You guys are trespassing.
It's cool, okay? we're done here.
Finally.
Take the trash back to the valley.
(scoffs) what did you just say? what did you just say? Don't you have anything better to do, Like get your butt tattooed? The only tattoo i'm getting tonight is your face on my fist.
Ladies, come on.
no need to fight over me.
Okay.
okay.
How about we just fight you? (grunts) (boy) i got him.
(carol) lily.
come on.
(boy) go, go, go.
get 'em! (carol shouts indistinctly) Where do you think you're going? (boy grunts) (owen grunts) Carol! (grunts) aah! (owen grunting) (grunts) Oh! hey! leave him alone! (keith) aah! (lily grunts) (guests) oh! (microphone feedback whines) Students, if i could have your attention, please.
For the first time ever at constance, Our prom queen is I can't believe you're not even defending yourself.
(blair) lie to my face! blame someone! something! I'm sorry.
just one moment.
(whispers) seriously? (whispers) i know how to count.
(normal voice) our prom queen is Blair waldorf.
But that's impossible! (applause) Oh, my god.
i won.
This is my moment.
I own prom.
(penelope) and our king-- nate archibald.
Oh, my gosh! This is so great! (gasps) thank you! Oh.
thanks.
(microphone feedback whines) Thank you, everyone.
Oh, i can't believe blair won.
yeah, who even voted for her? Me.
about 150 times.
I wasn't putting the nelly yuki ballots in.
I was taking them out.
but what about what she said you did to her limo And hotel and her corsage? her new dress looks better without it.
(camera shutter snaps) Give this to her.
It's to the penthouse at the plaza.
You didn't think you were the only one Who knew about the scrapbook, did you? (camera shutter snaps) Chuck, i I can't believe i'm saying this, but That was really sweet.
I just wanted to make sure she had the perfect night.
(cheering) your 2009 king and queen! aw, who knew the mother-chucker could also play fairy godmother? but if c.
just made b.
's dreams come true, why does it feel like our queen is standing with the wrong king? You can't use the one You already have on file? (camera shutter snaps) Wait.
let me at least fix my makeup.
(camera shutter snaps) (camera shutter snaps) (telephone rings) (woman) are you ready to do the workout? (women) yeah! beginner's workout.
stand with your feet a little more Jail? you're in jail? (voice breaks) i know, mom.
i'm--i'm sorry.
you know, if i was a better mother, I'd leave you in there, teach you a lesson.
you ran away.
You just abandoned me at the side of the road.
you know they only give you one phone call, right? Oh, lily, the hopes and dreams i have for you-- An ivy league education, life on the upper east side, Married to the richest man see, that's the thing, mom-- Those are your hope and your dreams, not mine.
I need to figure out what-- what i want, what i need.
Like a parole officer? i'm getting in the car.
You need to be far away from your sister's influence.
Why? what's wrong with carol? the fact that she's independent? That she thinks for herself? that she does what she wants And not what other people tell her to do? How about your spare me the heartache And yourself the humiliation And give up on this failed experiment in rebellion? What if this is not an experiment? What about if this is me growing up? Enough soul searching.
i'm calling your father's lawyer.
We need to keep this thing out of the papers.
(crying) please, mom, i don't need a publicist.
I need my mother.
I'm trying to talk to you here, and you're not Hey, mom.
got a sec? Carol.
This is your chance To be a big sister And finally offer some actual guidance to lily, advice.
Her future's at stake.
Which is why she needs to be far away from you.
This is how it's going to be, mom.
Lily's staying with me for a while.
carol, just be reasonable.
We both know the first time that she breaks a nail, Rides a city bus-- Or god forbid--actually steps foot in a public school, She'll come running home.
well, that's really up to lily, now isn't it? Just tell her to--to sit tight.
i'm coming for her.
No, mom.
you sit tight.
she'll call you later.
(whispers) oh, goodness.
(normal voice) mother.
mom.
Don't tell me you're chasing me out of town.
I'm fleeing as fast as i can.
Well, please stop.
i'm not going to apologize, But i love you, and i know you love me.
Well, of course i love you, My daughters, my grandchildren.
My only motivation is love.
on the contrary.
Your motives are quite suspect, selfish even.
And you haven't always done what's best for me.
Well, i've done the very best i could.
You think serena's a handful? I would rather have Instead of that boy you loved from the valley.
Well, you took care of that, didn't you? And you ended up with serena and eric And the life you deserve.
it wasn't up to you to decide what kind of life i should have.
What else does it mean to be a mother Than to make sure that your child fulfills her destiny? Well, i wanted to create my own destiny.
But that would have meant losing you, And i was always too afraid to do that.
until this afternoon, evidently.
(sighs) mother, please, i'm just asking you to stay.
You know, being a mother myself, i've made mistakes That rival if not outshine your own.
And i forgive you.
Lucky me.
You throw me out of your home, and i get forgiven.
Mother, just say thank you and give me a hug.
I most certainly am not gonna thank you For the terrible things you said.
And as far as the hug goes, Well, you've always done exactly as you pleased, haven't you? (fountain of wayne's "prom theme" playing) Hey.
you okay? This is supposed to be the happiest day in high school.
So why do i feel so sad? Like something's ending? Well, something is ending-- High school.
Not just school.
You're my first love.
(sighs) going to my senior prom with you Is something i've wanted since i was 12 years old.
And here we are, Like it was meant to be.
Yes.
this was supposed to happen.
I'm sure of it.
But now it has and-- Why are you talking in the past tense? We're still here.
I know.
But this night already feels like a memory.
(sighs) Just hold me Until the song's over.
Let's not waste these last moments talking about it.
(whispers) okay.
?but tonight we feel like we're stars ?/i> ?we'll play our air guitars, 'cause we're 18 ?/i> ?it's a perfect night ?/i> ?to sing our prom theme ?/i> Hey.
There you are.
Where's the prom king? We broke up.
What? But--but everything was so perfect.
It w--it was like a fairy tale.
It turns out fairy tales end when they do for a reason.
I really wanted to go to prom with my high school boyfriend.
And now that i have He feels like your high school boyfriend.
I'm sorry.
Me, too-- That you almost missed prom Because your mother had you arrested (laughs) And your quasi half-brother/ex-boyfriend Was your prom date.
(laughs) you know, i actually had a lot of fun tonight.
Dan and i made up, and i know that whatever my mother did, She--she did out of love.
And right now, i am with exactly who i want to be with-- My best friend.
(lily) so thank you.
Well, it's the least i can do Since i got you arrested and everything.
I didn't know you were such a brawler.
Neither did i.
I learned some things last night The biggest one being That i've really missed you.
You are high school to me-- All of the boyfriends And mean girls and-- and tests and teachers And our crazy mothers We--we went through it together.
We raised each other.
You're my sister.
(chuckles) So where's your car? How do you think i got you out of here? You sold your car? What are we gonna do? we're gonna walk? Walking in l.
a.
? wow, sis.
I have so much more to teach you.
come on.
It's us.
we travel in style no matter how we travel.
(freur) ?doot ? ?doot-doot ? ?doot ? ?doot-doot ? shoulder pads may come and go, but a b.
f.
f.
is forever because even when you're not sure where you're headed, it helps to know you're not going there alone.
(cell phone alert beeps) no one has all the answers, and sometimes the best we can do is just apologize and let the past be the past.
other times, we need to look to the future and know that even when we think we've seen it all, life can still surprise us, and we can still surprise ourselves.
x.
o.
x.
o.
, gossip girl.
you know you love me.
x.
o.
x.
o.
, gossip girl.
(missing persons) ?you ask yourself ? ?where do we go from here? ?life is so strange ? ?destination unknown ? ?when you don't know ? ?your destination ? ?and something could change ? (woman) rhodes records.
rick rhodes' office.
Hi.
is he in? It's lily.
Who? His daughter? Oh.
ahem.
one moment, please.
Thank you.
thank you very much.
(click) (man) hey, lil.
long time, babe.
Hi, dad.
i know, um, which is why i was hoping That we could, like, catch up or something.
There's so much to talk about.
Is there any way that you can, uh, have lunch? You're in l.
a.
? why aren't you in santa barbara? In school? well, we can make it a dinner if that's better for you.
I'm leaving for london.
but, lil, what's going on? geoffrey's? your regular table? Great.
okay, see you then.
love you.
(horn honks) (man) mrs.
bass? We're here.
Oh, yes.
thank you.
Serena's been in jail for over four hours.
She's already served more time Than nicole richie and lindsay lohan combined.
She's a socialite mistakenly accused of stealing a bracelet.
I doubt they're working her over with the phone book.
When i called lily, she said she was on her way.
Where is she? i just can't believe she had her own daughter arrested.
I mean, who does that? someone who's never been arrested.
Hello.
i'm lilian bass.
I'm here for my daughter, serena van der woodsen.
So was lily blown away? well, not really.
Yeah, he never actually, uh proposed.
minor detail in a proposal.
Kinda the key ingredient to the recipe.
so he came home and went into his room.
Uh, we haven't seen him since.
ahem.
hey, dad.
Oh, so prom tomorrow night-- What do you say? we stay in, watch some scary movies? the scarier the better.
Absolutely.
you guys are the "gossip girl" generation.
Don't expect me to believe you're not interested In this gossip.
uh, nope.
only interested in my nim chow.
So to add to the lily intrigue-- or possibly help explain it-- I got a weird call about your investment.
The money's gone.
it's over.
really? 'cause, uh, serena had a plan to get it all back.
It's-- no, lily had a plan of her own.
Well, that's what i was hoping.
yeah, she had serena arrested.
What? w-why? I suggest you kids stay out of it.
Let these van der woodsen women fight it out themselves.
Wow.
(camera shutter snaps) (jail door slams) (sighs) You forced me to do this.
i just hope you learned your lesson.
That my mom's crazier than i ever imagined? Well, no crazier than you, my daughter, Thinking you could fix this situation yourself.
i was fixing this, But then you were too worried what people would think.
when you're a mother, You will understand that you have to make decisions That don't always win you points for popularity.
When i'm a mother, i will be nothing like you.
Yes, you say that now, but just wait.
I would rather give my kids up for adoption Than end up like you.
Oh, wait.
you did that.
I came down here To drop the charges and put this behind us.
Please show a little respect, and i will stick with my plan.
I'll just stick to mine.
If you didn't notice, you weren't my phone call.
oh, so who was? She called me, darling.
Ironic, isn't it? If only she knew.
(serena) hey, grandma.
for those who complain about the youth of today, if you think we're bad, you should've seen our parents.
(camera shutter snaps) I don't care how much ahmet wants to give him.
The guy can't sing.
I'll pay for his publishing.
good-bye.
Hey, beautiful.
you get lost? I'm sorry i'm late.
i couldn't find parking.
That's what the valet's for.
right, but it also costs $2, and i just spent that on gas.
Here to hit dad up for some cash? what? (laughs) no.
So, um, christmas was weird without you.
You know how important the fourth quarter is to retail.
Somebody's gotta keep tower records in business.
But i was sorry i couldn't be there.
Yeah um, about that I'm not a headshrinker or anything, But i do think the sudden uprooting Of my family from new york, Coupled with my parents' tumultuous divorce May have contributed to some recent difficulties That i might be having.
you got kicked out of boarding school.
what? wait, wait.
how did you know that? she told me.
Mom.
Hello, lily.
what are you doing here? If it was up to your father, They'd stop me at the county line, But santa barbara's really only a prison in my mind, good to see you, cece.
wish i could say the same, richard.
you hung up the phone with me, and you called her? You didn't even give me a chance to explain.
That's because he would have to parent, And we know he always leaves "bad cop" to me.
Punishing loved ones just comes so much more naturally To some people.
excuse me.
may i have a gin and tonic? no tonic.
I come with some good news.
You're letting me live with dad? no way.
That's exactly what i was gonna say.
my bags are in the car.
And can i have the room that overlooks the tennis courts? I love that room.
thank you for coming all the way down here, Mom, but i think this is all worked out, right? richard? Lily, that sounds so good.
it's just-- Actually, your father did make a call to the school.
I told 'em what had been happening at home, About your sister taking off, your mother and i splitting up.
I explained that it was An isolated, uncharacteristic act of rebellion.
They're willing to turn your expulsion into a suspension.
what? you can be back on monday.
but i wanted to get expelled.
Lily, whatever for? that school has everything.
Everything except for dad.
You're living this amazing new life here, And i'm just scared that by the time i graduate, I won't be a part of it anymore.
And what if you forget about me? Lil, you do not have to ever worry about that.
I just have a lot going on right now with work.
I can't give you the time, the--the supervision That you need.
just like clockwork.
Okay.
Dad.
I'm late.
i've gotta pack, get to the airport.
Put lunch on my account.
i'll talk to you soon.
dad, no.
Why do you always have to do that? Dad.
(sighs) thank you.
Please don't walk away.
You need to be with your mother, lil, Out of the city, in school.
We can't let you turn out like your sister.
Carol? yeah, i think we can all agree on that front.
She ran away from our family, and for what? To become an actress, which is a completely unrealistic goal.
I mean, yeah, she was pretty good as abigail In "the crucible," but what was that, like, 11th grade? Anyway, the point is-- is i'm not carol.
I don't crave adventure or the freedom To walk my own path.
i'm perfectly comfortable With the path that you guys have laid out for me.
go home, lil.
(kisses) dad, you have a giant house.
i won't be any trouble.
I'll call you when i get back from london.
I'm sorry.
I love you.
Lily, it's over.
Let's go home.
I'll follow you back.
See you at home.
(engine revs) (elevator bell dings) eric and i had the most invigorating walk From the hotel.
you know, grandma is deceptively quick.
Oh, she's probably racing back to that bottle of gin She has hidden under the sink in the bathroom.
zing.
Good morning to you as well.
what are you doing here, mother? I don't remember inviting you as our guest.
I know i haven't called you, and i'm positive you haven't So much as received a christmas card Or fruitcake at the holiday.
well, you can be thankful for the last one.
What have i done to earn your ire, my dear? well, let me think for a second.
Maybe telling rufus about our child? I'm sorry if i thought it appropriate That rufus learns he has a son.
Uh, you mean "had.
" He died.
Oh.
I had no idea.
Imagine, something you don't know.
now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to take serena breakfast in bed so i can start the healing with my daughter.
uh, you might want to put a hold on the healing.
Serena's not in her room.
what? i thought she was coming home with you.
where is she? Why are you still in jail? (serena) it's my choice.
Oh, god.
you're not gonna come out of there With a mullet and a girlfriend, are you? my mother didn't think that i was old enough To make my own decisions, so i decided to stay in jail, And i'm not leaving Until she agrees to let me live my own life.
so it's a war of attrition.
(exhales deeply) so to speak.
Except she gets to wage the war from the comfort Of her penthouse while you remain behind bars.
look, don't worry about me.
enjoy prom with nate, Like you always planned In that scrapbook that you kept under your bed.
(scoffs) please.
i don't remember that.
I was a child then.
I should go.
i don't want to abuse my phone privileges.
The fact that you're on an actual pay phone Has me beyond nauseous.
Stay strong, s.
What's this for? strength.
you will need.
I have good news and bad news.
which do you want? Good news first, always.
There is replacement.
what are you talking about? It makes more sense if you pick bad news first.
Your dress for prom.
The dry cleaners-- they ruined it.
This body bag.
corpse not pretty.
But there's a replacement.
back to good news.
This morning it arrived from paris.
Just like in scrapbook.
(laughs and gasps) Oh! it is.
Oh! just like my scrapbook i don't remember keeping And haven't looked at since i was an early adolescent.
Oh, i-it must be from daddy.
Tonight is going to be magical.
(laughs) You know, prom hasn't exactly been going as planned.
The florists lost blair's corsage.
Someone bought up all the peonies, And when i called to confirm my limo, It had been rented out by a bachelorette party in jersey.
(inhales sharply) the heart quickens.
Yeah, well, my hotel room was mysteriously canceled, And now i just found out blair's dress has been ruined.
how tragic.
I gotta ask am i sabotaging your dream prom? The answer is no, nathaniel.
And i don't know how many times We need to have this conversation.
Blair is yours.
Okay.
Oh, what a restorative nap that was.
I feel so much better.
Well, i'm afraid that moment is not going to last.
Eric out of earshot? i sent him to a movie with jonathan.
So no one can hear me scream.
you're gonna what, lily, Hack me to pieces, suffocate me with a pillow? i am simply-- and for the last time-- Gonna ask you to leave my home and never come back.
"never" is a, uh, very long time, darling.
You are toxic.
I'm your mother.
and a memorable one at that, so much so it seems That try as i might, i can't help turning into you.
well, maybe that's 'cause You finally are starting to see the wisdom of my ways.
You blame me for everything.
and you accept responsibility for nothing.
You know, maybe carol's right.
The only way to have a normal life is without you in it.
your sister was rebellious And ungrateful for my love, and look where she ended up.
From where i'm sitting, it doesn't look so bad.
I don't want you meddling With my family or with my love life anymore.
I want you out.
now.
Hi.
i'm looking for my sister carol.
carol rhodes.
Uh, i think that she works here.
is she in? I'm covering four extra tables today, so that'd be no.
Flaking on work-- that seems like carol.
Do you know where she might be? (dishes clatter) Hey! watch where you're going, spaz.
You almost got udon all over my gucci.
Personally, i don't see it.
See what? The family resemblance.
to carol? wait.
you know her? Yeah.
Well, do you know where she might be? Trying to work here.
well, you missed a spot.
(taps counter) it's kinda sticky.
I'm sorry.
i'm sorry.
I've had a really rough day.
i got kicked out of school, My dad doesn't want me to live with him, I can't stand my mom, i spent the last $9 that i had on gas, And so now i'm broke and i'm homeless, And unless i can find my sister, who i basically Haven't talked to in, like, a year, I'm gonna have to become a prostitute.
and i don't even know how to be a prostitute.
I mean, really, how much small talk is required? And--and where do you even go? and are b.
j.
s a must? Because if that's the case, i am so not doing that.
Not that any of that information is relevant Unless you're a john.
not a john.
owen.
Lily.
There's a gig at the 6-0-7 tonight.
Chances are your sister will be there.
My friend's kinda dating her.
if you wanna go On a double date? with a guy That i just met five minutes ago? you could be a psycho.
My shift ends in ten.
probably see your sister.
Don't want to come, i'll give her your regards And summarize the whole, uh, prostitute thing.
I could change.
I have my suitcase in the car.
Yeah.
i'm just guessing, But i don't think that's gonna work.
You should try something like this.
Your sister's always changing for auditions and stuff.
(taps locker) Wow.
She's really changed.
I can't believe that she has this.
we went ice skating at rockefeller center.
she snuck me out of the house.
we took a bus across town.
my mom was so furious.
It was so much fun.
We were, like, Best friends.
You can go now.
already out the door.
(cell phone rings) Oh, hello, daniel.
Hey.
so, uh, look, i'm really sorry to bother you, But i can't leave serena one more message And still call myself a man.
Not that it's exactly manly to be calling her "mother," But i-i-i-i really need to know, Uh, how mad is she? Oh, i-i wouldn't worry.
She hasn't gotten your messages.
They take your cell phone away when you're in jail.
Wait.
She's--she's still in jail? (billy idol's "dancing with myself" playing) Hey.
i think i need a dress for prom.
Okay.
but you're gonna have to wear your own shoes.
?on the floors of tokyo ? ?a-down in london town's a go-go ? ?a-with the record selection and the mirror's reflection ? ?i'm a-dancing with myself ? ?oh, oh, dancing with myself ? ?oh, oh, dancing with myself ? ?if i had the chance, i'd ask one to dance ? ?if i had the chance, i'd ask one to dance ? ?ow ? ?oh, oh, oh, oh ? ?oh, oh, oh, oh ? ?oh, oh, oh, oh ? ?oh, oh, oh, dancing with myself ? ?oh, oh, dancing with myself ? ?oh, oh, dancing with myself ? Get out, perv! sorry.
You're taking long enough.
(sighs) do i looks like i'm wearing a halloween costume? No.
You look good.
Is this the moment where you fall in love with me? Oh, it is, isn't it? You're totally falling in love with me right now.
are you coming or not? ?if i had the chance, i'd ask one to dance ? Hello.
i'd like to drop The charges against serena van der woodsen.
There's been a terrible misunderstanding.
well, you can talk to someone about the charges, But your daughter's gone.
?oh, oh, dancing with myself ? ?oh, oh, dancing with myself, oh, oh ? ?stand and deliver! ? (applause) ?i'm the dandy highwayman who you're too scared to mention ? ?i spend my cash ? ?on looking flash and grabbing your attention ? ?the devil take your stereo and your record collection ? ?the way you look ? ?you qualify for next year's old-age pension ? ?stand and deliver ? ?your money or your life ? ?try and use a mirror ? ?no bullet or knife ? ?i'm the dandy highwayman so sick of easy fashion ? Wow, you're, like, really popular around here.
Yeah, when you don't have a lot of family at home, You gotta find it somewhere else.
?nothing is worth taking? ? ?it's kind of tough to tell a scruff ? ?the big mistake he's making, stand and deliver ? ?your money or your life ? It's kinda cool, right? Sure.
yeah, cool place to catch hepatitis.
Owen! (can clatters) missed our set, man! it was awesome.
It was like (howls) it was wicked! ha ha! shep, hey.
Hey, who's the betty? this your new girl? no.
No.
we're looking for her sister.
no time to talk, guys.
your needs are gonna have to wait.
I have a plan.
actually, you know, it's more than a plan.
It's a mission.
but it's not just about me.
It's about my lady.
she's been wronged, And i'm gonna make it right.
(snaps fingers) What did they do to your lady, tattoo the wrong butt cheek? (woman) randy walter sheppard! My 20s are ticking away as we speak, And we gotta go now! Carol! carol? Lily? What are you doing here? What are you guys doing with my sister? whoa.
wait.
she's--she's your sister? she's your lady? kind of.
No! lily, oh, my god.
it's so good to see you.
How do you know owen? i'm so sorry i haven't written more Or called, like, ever.
are you totally mad? Wait.
what are you doing in l.
a.
? is something wrong? Is everything okay? yeah.
no, not really.
i have--i have to talk to you About something, and it's kind of major.
okay, and i wanna hear about it, i mean, totally there for you, But right now i have to handle something, and it cannot wait.
i know.
(lily) neither can this.
(carol) we'll talk in the car.
(shep) to the impala.
(lily) to the what? where? (owen) the mission is on the move.
oh, my god, lily.
it's so good to see you.
I've missed you.
are you wearing my dress? ?stand and deliver ? ?your money or your life ? (playing swing version of "stand and deliver") (indistinct conversations) (blair) oh, my god.
look at this place.
I've always tried to make my life Resemble the movie in my head, And tonight, no effort required.
voil? (laughs) Vote for prom king and queen? We don't do prom queen.
that's for suburban schools And the lame teen comedies that are set at them.
We're doing it this year.
there's a tiara and everything.
A tiara? But if you don't want to vote for yourselves We were nominated.
(laughs) let's see.
I mean, of course we were.
(isabel) aw, you guys, i think i'm getting sentimental.
it's true.
this is probably our last huddle.
Yeah, if you do this stuff in college, People think you're pathological.
Come on, ladies.
let's commit election fraud.
I can't wait to see blair's face When she loses prom queen to nelly.
(giggles) And look, i-i know this thing with your mom Took on a life of its own, but i just want to say That i'm sorry for starting it in the first place.
it was just really upsetting That--that you went to her without giving me a warning.
I know, and normally i would never do something like this, But lily is not like other parents.
with good judgment, morals and maternal instinct? And when she said that she was gonna take care of it, I never imagined that you'd end up incarcerated.
the most frustrating part is She thinks she did take care of it.
Hey, soldier, eyes up front.
Well, i'm, uh, i'm glad you let me bail you out Or let me call cece to, 'cause missing your prom Just to spite your own mother is--is kinda-- something only she would do, yeah.
Thank you for--for getting me to see that, And thank you for breaking the cycle of crazy.
(laughs) So what happened to the beemer that mom and dad got you? Oh, i sold it.
For this? As if.
i gave it to this guy.
He had this really amazing idea.
It goes around your waist like a belt So you can put stuff in it, like a purse.
Wow.
that's a really sound investment.
What's that supposed to mean? Nothing.
nothing.
(scoffs) It just--your life isn't exactly how you described.
You told mom that you were making it out in l.
a.
i am making it.
this is what making it looks like Before you've totally made it.
Carol, i've always thought That you were really, really talented.
It's just-- is it really worth Living your life, you know Like this? well, it's not forever.
Not once we get shep's music video on mtv.
I'm totally the star.
a music video equals national exposure.
It's the birth of a new art form.
really? shep's band? Okay, i know you probably wouldn't think so Having met shep, but they're actually kinda great.
Well, if they're so great, then why don't you Give their demo to dad? because he's dad, and i'm doing this on my own.
(turns volume up) (lowered voice) listen, don't tell anybody about who we are.
Especially them.
why do you care what they think? And besides, being us is awesome.
all that money comes with strings attached, lily.
People treat you differently.
Yeah, better.
Wow.
(laughs) could you sound any more like mom? Of course i sound like mom.
She's the only female role model i've had since you bailed on us.
Hey.
I think we're here.
(sighs) I never wanted to be like my mother.
I wanted to be open to life and--and fearless And not always thinking three steps ahead--and consequences And what would people say or what would my father think.
Well, you have, for the most part, With a few notable exceptions.
That beautiful dinner you made-- You were gonna propose, weren't you? But you didn't.
Because what i did to serena made you fundamentally question The kind of person that i am.
you're unpredictable, that's for sure.
When i was younger, that was damn exciting.
You were always surprising me.
I'm just doomed to repeat my mother's mistakes.
why do you always have to do that? dad, wait.
please don't walk away.
Our mistakes are ours alone to repeat or correct.
I should forgive serena for defying me.
Or first maybe you need to forgive cece.
oh, my mother doesn't need forgiveness.
She needs electroshock therapy.
you've got good reason to be angry with her-- those messed up values she passed on to you.
i'll follow you back.
Until you let it go, How can you move forward with your own daughter? Cece's never gonna change, lil.
But you still can.
Thank you, rufus.
(sighs) I'm glad we can talk, but as for everything else, I just don't know where we stand right now.
Even after 20 years, You're still not sure who i am.
It's not that i'm not sure.
It's just, i think you're still figuring it out.
Ah.
And she sticks the landing.
So is information on this mission Revealed on a need-to-know basis? Because i really need to know.
carol.
The so-called director of our music video Took our money and then jacked up his fee, And now he's holding our video hostage, And i am a hostage negotiator.
yeah, just 'cause this dork's uncle is john landis Doesn't mean he's above the law.
No richie rich film school kid rips off me and my girl.
shep, i'm not your girl.
Right.
she's-- she's more like my muse.
Oh, sweet hand towels.
So are we, like, breaking and entering? Seriously? the window was unlocked, So really, it's just entering.
And i thought investing in purse belts was a bad idea.
thanks, lily.
Since i know how much you love following the rules, Why don't you just stay here, far away from the party, Where people are actually having fun? Owen, can you keep an eye on her? (toilet flushes) (sighs) What? just because my idea of a good time Isn't getting arrested for breaking into some guy's house, I'm automatically a stuck-up goody two-shoes? It doesn't exactly make you the life of the party.
Where's the bar? I think it's this way.
(swing music playing) You made it! yeah! there was a last minute change of plans.
Yeah, i sprung her out of the pokey.
You can-- you can thank me later.
well, i just spent ten seconds talking to you, So consider yourself repaid.
have fun.
(laughs) (chuckles) So, you know, Not that i imagined, uh, much about my time at prom, But, um it measures up.
Did you ever imagine yourself dancing at prom? That i did.
well, i am here to make dreams come true.
Come dance with me.
bailing you out of prison And dancing with you at prom in one night? that's Yeah, i'm here to make things interesting.
? (men without hats) ?we can dance if we want to ?/i> ?we can leave your friends behind ?/i> ?'cause your friends don't dance and if they don't dance ?/i> ?well, they're no friends of mine ?/i> ?i say, we can go when we want to ?/i> ?a place where they will never find ?/i> ?and we can act like we come from out of this world ?/i> ?leave the real one far behind ?/i> ?/i> (inhales deeply) hey, van der woodsen, you want some? (depeche mode's "just can't get enough" playing) (carol) hey, keith! Surprised to see me? Carol.
hey.
Wow.
you, uh, You look amazing.
Really? even more amazing than in the video you won't give us? Look, i'm sorry about that.
i just, uh, I couldn't think of any other way to get you to call me So i could explain-- you have a girlfriend.
nothing else to explain.
I just want the video.
Hey.
who is this? Is she available? Nah, man.
Nah, she, uh, she was just leaving.
No, i wasn't.
?we walk together, we're walking down the street ?/i> ?i just can't get enough, i just can't get enough ?/i> ?it's getting hotter ?/i> ?it's our burning love, and i just can't seem ?/i> Oh! ?to get enough, ah ?/i> Oh, is this the moment where you fall in love with me? It is, isn't it? You're totally falling in love with me right now.
(chuckles) ?/i> (glass shatters) (carol) spare me, keith! (blair) this is low, even for you.
I can't believe you did this, chuck.
You know how important prom is to me! blair, what's wrong? I caught him with these.
they're all marked With nelly yuki's name.
he's sabotaging me.
My missing corsage, my dress, the limo and hotel? (carol) we paid you 500 bucks to shoot that thing.
we were friends then.
i was giving you a special rate.
Our relationship's changed now.
You can pay me the balance in cash Or i don't know What are you doing saturday? Gross.
my sister would never sleep with you.
yeah, 'cause she's dating me.
Shep, we're not dating.
we were never dating.
Well, both of you don't know carol very well, 'cause, yeah, she totally slept with me.
(clicks tongue) pretty fun, too.
You slept with your music video director? i didn't know he had a girlfriend, And i broke it off as soon as i found out.
But what he wants to charge us? Might as well be a million bucks.
And i know you probably think i should ask mom and dad For the money, but Whatever.
i'll think of something.
it's fine.
No, carol.
it's not fine.
Hi.
i'm lily rhodes, and that's my sister, And no one treats us this way.
Okay.
we already called the cops, so You guys are trespassing.
It's cool, okay? we're done here.
Finally.
Take the trash back to the valley.
(scoffs) what did you just say? what did you just say? Don't you have anything better to do, Like get your butt tattooed? The only tattoo i'm getting tonight is your face on my fist.
Ladies, come on.
no need to fight over me.
Okay.
okay.
How about we just fight you? (grunts) (boy) i got him.
(carol) lily.
come on.
(boy) go, go, go.
get 'em! (carol shouts indistinctly) Where do you think you're going? (boy grunts) (owen grunts) Carol! (grunts) aah! (owen grunting) (grunts) Oh! hey! leave him alone! (keith) aah! (lily grunts) (guests) oh! (microphone feedback whines) Students, if i could have your attention, please.
For the first time ever at constance, Our prom queen is I can't believe you're not even defending yourself.
(blair) lie to my face! blame someone! something! I'm sorry.
just one moment.
(whispers) seriously? (whispers) i know how to count.
(normal voice) our prom queen is Blair waldorf.
But that's impossible! (applause) Oh, my god.
i won.
This is my moment.
I own prom.
(penelope) and our king-- nate archibald.
Oh, my gosh! This is so great! (gasps) thank you! Oh.
thanks.
(microphone feedback whines) Thank you, everyone.
Oh, i can't believe blair won.
yeah, who even voted for her? Me.
about 150 times.
I wasn't putting the nelly yuki ballots in.
I was taking them out.
but what about what she said you did to her limo And hotel and her corsage? her new dress looks better without it.
(camera shutter snaps) Give this to her.
It's to the penthouse at the plaza.
You didn't think you were the only one Who knew about the scrapbook, did you? (camera shutter snaps) Chuck, i I can't believe i'm saying this, but That was really sweet.
I just wanted to make sure she had the perfect night.
(cheering) your 2009 king and queen! aw, who knew the mother-chucker could also play fairy godmother? but if c.
just made b.
's dreams come true, why does it feel like our queen is standing with the wrong king? You can't use the one You already have on file? (camera shutter snaps) Wait.
let me at least fix my makeup.
(camera shutter snaps) (camera shutter snaps) (telephone rings) (woman) are you ready to do the workout? (women) yeah! beginner's workout.
stand with your feet a little more Jail? you're in jail? (voice breaks) i know, mom.
i'm--i'm sorry.
you know, if i was a better mother, I'd leave you in there, teach you a lesson.
you ran away.
You just abandoned me at the side of the road.
you know they only give you one phone call, right? Oh, lily, the hopes and dreams i have for you-- An ivy league education, life on the upper east side, Married to the richest man see, that's the thing, mom-- Those are your hope and your dreams, not mine.
I need to figure out what-- what i want, what i need.
Like a parole officer? i'm getting in the car.
You need to be far away from your sister's influence.
Why? what's wrong with carol? the fact that she's independent? That she thinks for herself? that she does what she wants And not what other people tell her to do? How about your spare me the heartache And yourself the humiliation And give up on this failed experiment in rebellion? What if this is not an experiment? What about if this is me growing up? Enough soul searching.
i'm calling your father's lawyer.
We need to keep this thing out of the papers.
(crying) please, mom, i don't need a publicist.
I need my mother.
I'm trying to talk to you here, and you're not Hey, mom.
got a sec? Carol.
This is your chance To be a big sister And finally offer some actual guidance to lily, advice.
Her future's at stake.
Which is why she needs to be far away from you.
This is how it's going to be, mom.
Lily's staying with me for a while.
carol, just be reasonable.
We both know the first time that she breaks a nail, Rides a city bus-- Or god forbid--actually steps foot in a public school, She'll come running home.
well, that's really up to lily, now isn't it? Just tell her to--to sit tight.
i'm coming for her.
No, mom.
you sit tight.
she'll call you later.
(whispers) oh, goodness.
(normal voice) mother.
mom.
Don't tell me you're chasing me out of town.
I'm fleeing as fast as i can.
Well, please stop.
i'm not going to apologize, But i love you, and i know you love me.
Well, of course i love you, My daughters, my grandchildren.
My only motivation is love.
on the contrary.
Your motives are quite suspect, selfish even.
And you haven't always done what's best for me.
Well, i've done the very best i could.
You think serena's a handful? I would rather have Instead of that boy you loved from the valley.
Well, you took care of that, didn't you? And you ended up with serena and eric And the life you deserve.
it wasn't up to you to decide what kind of life i should have.
What else does it mean to be a mother Than to make sure that your child fulfills her destiny? Well, i wanted to create my own destiny.
But that would have meant losing you, And i was always too afraid to do that.
until this afternoon, evidently.
(sighs) mother, please, i'm just asking you to stay.
You know, being a mother myself, i've made mistakes That rival if not outshine your own.
And i forgive you.
Lucky me.
You throw me out of your home, and i get forgiven.
Mother, just say thank you and give me a hug.
I most certainly am not gonna thank you For the terrible things you said.
And as far as the hug goes, Well, you've always done exactly as you pleased, haven't you? (fountain of wayne's "prom theme" playing) Hey.
you okay? This is supposed to be the happiest day in high school.
So why do i feel so sad? Like something's ending? Well, something is ending-- High school.
Not just school.
You're my first love.
(sighs) going to my senior prom with you Is something i've wanted since i was 12 years old.
And here we are, Like it was meant to be.
Yes.
this was supposed to happen.
I'm sure of it.
But now it has and-- Why are you talking in the past tense? We're still here.
I know.
But this night already feels like a memory.
(sighs) Just hold me Until the song's over.
Let's not waste these last moments talking about it.
(whispers) okay.
?but tonight we feel like we're stars ?/i> ?we'll play our air guitars, 'cause we're 18 ?/i> ?it's a perfect night ?/i> ?to sing our prom theme ?/i> Hey.
There you are.
Where's the prom king? We broke up.
What? But--but everything was so perfect.
It w--it was like a fairy tale.
It turns out fairy tales end when they do for a reason.
I really wanted to go to prom with my high school boyfriend.
And now that i have He feels like your high school boyfriend.
I'm sorry.
Me, too-- That you almost missed prom Because your mother had you arrested (laughs) And your quasi half-brother/ex-boyfriend Was your prom date.
(laughs) you know, i actually had a lot of fun tonight.
Dan and i made up, and i know that whatever my mother did, She--she did out of love.
And right now, i am with exactly who i want to be with-- My best friend.
(lily) so thank you.
Well, it's the least i can do Since i got you arrested and everything.
I didn't know you were such a brawler.
Neither did i.
I learned some things last night The biggest one being That i've really missed you.
You are high school to me-- All of the boyfriends And mean girls and-- and tests and teachers And our crazy mothers We--we went through it together.
We raised each other.
You're my sister.
(chuckles) So where's your car? How do you think i got you out of here? You sold your car? What are we gonna do? we're gonna walk? Walking in l.
a.
? wow, sis.
I have so much more to teach you.
come on.
It's us.
we travel in style no matter how we travel.
(freur) ?doot ? ?doot-doot ? ?doot ? ?doot-doot ? shoulder pads may come and go, but a b.
f.
f.
is forever because even when you're not sure where you're headed, it helps to know you're not going there alone.
(cell phone alert beeps) no one has all the answers, and sometimes the best we can do is just apologize and let the past be the past.
other times, we need to look to the future and know that even when we think we've seen it all, life can still surprise us, and we can still surprise ourselves.
x.
o.
x.
o.
, gossip girl.